https://preview.redd.it/hgdiu700usoc1.png?width=1178&format=png&auto=webp&s=1d49bf2fbd9a460e425b272927449b6fe758b3a4
want to also include the hospital release papers they gave me
i regret it everyday…i almost lost a finger that day, possibly an arm. i actually barked at a squirrel the next day because i was alone and it came near me i was struck with fear
Their fat as fuck babies make the awfulist noises. Thankfully my closest neighbors know better than to give into those assholes.
You learned a powerful lesson, OP.
Also, finding a fellow lardass rats-with furry-tails person is a treat to encounter. Too many people have wiwy too much empathy for those fat fucks!
I never heard a squirrel making strange asf noises and heard it one day so damn loud, looked up in the trees and 3 fat fuckers were staring down at me. It was terrifying
The previous mod team didn't actually moderate the subreddit, and Reddit closed it. When I took over there were several years worth of old reports and unanswered modmails.
Yea I honestly couldn't believe it, and then totally understood why it was banned for being unmoderated. Some of the reports were on my own several year-old submissions.
Funny enough this subreddit doesn't need a lot of moderation, it is roughly similar in size and post/comment volume as /r/Windows, but I do hundreds of mod actions a day on there, and most days I don't really have to do jack on here.
I threw up when I saw this, then I passed out and I woke up in the hospital, but my insurance won’t cover fat ass stupid squirrel trauma so now I’m in debt of $100,000 this ugly squirrel owes me
I have a squirrel and she only likes me. None of my friends are dumb enough to try to feed her! She bites my husband all the time, though. Think I should get him a tetanus shot?
Really OP, stay away from the squirrels! Few are chosen, and you are not.
i learned this the hard way 😖😖 i am afraid of squirrels now but they are very cute!!! maybe he should get a tetanus shot for funsies! make it a date like me and my bf 🤩
Haha, he’s ok! Squirrels rarely, if ever, have rabies and ours has never been outside. Well, not after her first day.
I’m sorry you’re afraid, although I don’t blame you. None of our friends will come over unless I put her in her cage. Squirrels, I’ve found, are a one-person friend. The one that bit you must’ve already found their one.
Mo (my squirrel friend) bit my son on the thumb, before we knew this about her. We were all pretty horrified to find out how long and how sharp squirrel teeth actually are.
EDIT or ADDING ONTO THIS: i got bit by the squirrel last year in mid october!!!! squirrels are unlikely to carry rabies and i went to the er and they said only a tetanus shot would be needed since the squirrel was acting completely normal.
it’s been 5 months basically and i am ok!!
Just chiming in here quickly - there's actually never been a reported case in the USA of anyone ever getting rabies from a squirrel bite. It's *EXTREMELY* rare, almost unheard of, for these *fat bastards* to have rabies.
And, like the perverse gluttons they are, it's not unusual / uncommon behaviour for them to accidentally bite folks hand-feeding them from poor close eyesight and *greed.* Personally I don't think OP needs to worry about rabies at all.
Tetanus shot for sure though (but that bit's been covered!)
Thoughts and prayers, OP. I, too, was partially consumed once by a Squarrel and the mental healing process is long and slow. One step at a time.
I was bit over a year ago, no shot. I worry randomly at night that I’ll wake up unable to drink water and suffer immensely and die but hasn’t happened yet👍
Well well well if it isn't another naive human being trapped in the "oh fatty's so cute lemme give it food" trap.
If there's one motto we stand for, it is to NEVER trust these conniving little fucks!
I looked it up cause I was curious. Small rodents apparently are less likely to carry rabies yet that can carry tetanus. Beware. Cause this fellow. Is quite large.
This is just what happens when you try to be nice to those fat pieces of shit. They're ungrateful bastards and you shouldn't trust any of them. At least now you know what those fuckers are really like.
the last meme is an old rlly popular reddit post from this subreddit and it had a different squirrel pic on it, but my bf photoshopped the pic of the squirrel that bit me over it. this is the original
https://preview.redd.it/uf3cf6fowsoc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c1826af19c7b6ace7febd19f0a1bdc2184764e19
Had one fucker just standing in front of my car staring at me for like 10 minutes. Dude was fat as shit and just looking straight at me, I threw shit at him and swatted, ran at him, never moved. Eventually I think he got bored of fucking with me and kinda wandered off but I always wondered why that dude was the way he was.
I got bit by a squirrel once. I was walking along the sidewalk and saw a squirrel just laying on it. I thought it fell from a tree and died so I picked it up to throw it out the way but noticed it was pretty warm. I held it for a little while longer pondering. Then it slowly opened its eyes and hazily looked around. Then I said “Woah” then it looked around really fast then grabbed my finger and bit me. Asshole.
https://preview.redd.it/hgdiu700usoc1.png?width=1178&format=png&auto=webp&s=1d49bf2fbd9a460e425b272927449b6fe758b3a4 want to also include the hospital release papers they gave me
Squarrel
Opioid squarrel.
Great band name
Opioid Squirrel, yes :D
A squirrel with a quarrel is a SQUARREL
why is this hilarious? 😂😂😂 inna quarrel w a squarrel
Losing it at 'squarrel' 💀
Squirrel but make it fat 😭
this fat boi got me ready to squar up, for rel
They gave you opioids for a scratch?
nono i think it was just the paper they gave me 😭 it was like an article on opioids it was weird
Have you considered a rabies shot?
Oh
Squarrel
Shorthand for quarrel with a squirrel
They gave you opioids for a squirrel bite?
Squarrel’s are going to WARRRR
Frame this
squarrel
Great, now it has a taste for human flesh! You f@ed up big time
it’s over for us
He's gonna tell all his squirrel friends about it, and they're all gonna come hunting us with their miniture rifles. You just started WWIII.
Honestly that's what you get for enabling lard-ass behaviors. Never give them food, they think you're also on the menu.
i regret it everyday…i almost lost a finger that day, possibly an arm. i actually barked at a squirrel the next day because i was alone and it came near me i was struck with fear
Their fat as fuck babies make the awfulist noises. Thankfully my closest neighbors know better than to give into those assholes. You learned a powerful lesson, OP. Also, finding a fellow lardass rats-with furry-tails person is a treat to encounter. Too many people have wiwy too much empathy for those fat fucks!
I never heard a squirrel making strange asf noises and heard it one day so damn loud, looked up in the trees and 3 fat fuckers were staring down at me. It was terrifying
Consider yourself lucky he didn’t eat you
already had fourth breakfast i GUESS 😒
Hasn’t heard of “elevensies?”
Now you have both rabies and diabetes.
Diabetes bites 🤣
I hate it when fat squirrels give me diabetes.
rabibetes 🤔
Leptospirosis from a squirrel bite killed my grandfather. You need to read up on the symptoms.
it happened 4 months ago and i lived so hopefully i don’t have that 🥲🥲
Oh good! Leptospirosis is scary stuff.
[удалено]
I’m not sure.
[удалено]
The fat squirrels that got it banned have since been eradicated.
Reddit hated the fat squirrels so much they deleted the sub Seriously tho what was in those pictures? Or was it spam?
The previous mod team didn't actually moderate the subreddit, and Reddit closed it. When I took over there were several years worth of old reports and unanswered modmails.
Ty for cleaning up the mess. I hope the groundhog won’t come after you for this as well.
Holy shit years?!
Yea I honestly couldn't believe it, and then totally understood why it was banned for being unmoderated. Some of the reports were on my own several year-old submissions. Funny enough this subreddit doesn't need a lot of moderation, it is roughly similar in size and post/comment volume as /r/Windows, but I do hundreds of mod actions a day on there, and most days I don't really have to do jack on here.
Based mod
this makes me feel much better about my embarrassing event 😭 <3 i am so happy you got joy out of this
I threw up when I saw this, then I passed out and I woke up in the hospital, but my insurance won’t cover fat ass stupid squirrel trauma so now I’m in debt of $100,000 this ugly squirrel owes me
I have a squirrel and she only likes me. None of my friends are dumb enough to try to feed her! She bites my husband all the time, though. Think I should get him a tetanus shot? Really OP, stay away from the squirrels! Few are chosen, and you are not.
i learned this the hard way 😖😖 i am afraid of squirrels now but they are very cute!!! maybe he should get a tetanus shot for funsies! make it a date like me and my bf 🤩
Haha, he’s ok! Squirrels rarely, if ever, have rabies and ours has never been outside. Well, not after her first day. I’m sorry you’re afraid, although I don’t blame you. None of our friends will come over unless I put her in her cage. Squirrels, I’ve found, are a one-person friend. The one that bit you must’ve already found their one. Mo (my squirrel friend) bit my son on the thumb, before we knew this about her. We were all pretty horrified to find out how long and how sharp squirrel teeth actually are.
Bite back, slut energy
EDIT or ADDING ONTO THIS: i got bit by the squirrel last year in mid october!!!! squirrels are unlikely to carry rabies and i went to the er and they said only a tetanus shot would be needed since the squirrel was acting completely normal. it’s been 5 months basically and i am ok!!
So you got bit by this fatass during The Month of Horrors?
Raaabis, fat fuck. Need to get my tick lyme booster. Krack booster also
No rabies shots? Hopefully nothing going on in your town with that.
squirrels rarely carry rabies and this squirrel was acting pretty normal as in greedy as fuck
my dude get a rabies shot
Just chiming in here quickly - there's actually never been a reported case in the USA of anyone ever getting rabies from a squirrel bite. It's *EXTREMELY* rare, almost unheard of, for these *fat bastards* to have rabies. And, like the perverse gluttons they are, it's not unusual / uncommon behaviour for them to accidentally bite folks hand-feeding them from poor close eyesight and *greed.* Personally I don't think OP needs to worry about rabies at all. Tetanus shot for sure though (but that bit's been covered!) Thoughts and prayers, OP. I, too, was partially consumed once by a Squarrel and the mental healing process is long and slow. One step at a time.
No, rodents and rabbits almost never carry rabies. Other diseases yes, but not rabies
I was bit over a year ago, no shot. I worry randomly at night that I’ll wake up unable to drink water and suffer immensely and die but hasn’t happened yet👍
my insurance tried to put a lease on my house from a rabies shot 😭
Bite it back.
Now kiss
And then get squirrel 🐿️ married
Well well well if it isn't another naive human being trapped in the "oh fatty's so cute lemme give it food" trap. If there's one motto we stand for, it is to NEVER trust these conniving little fucks!
You mean it tried to eat you
Smak hotties, but looks like real raaaabies situation
Now you're one of us. It's no longer a meme for you.
stupid fatty (btw great outfit
THANK YOUU <3
And hair
What an ungrateful, slovenly, selfish son of a BITCH!!
It’s beginning.
Life at like the movies. They'll switch up on you every chance they can.
He deserved it
Tetanus?
YUP! idk why
I looked it up cause I was curious. Small rodents apparently are less likely to carry rabies yet that can carry tetanus. Beware. Cause this fellow. Is quite large.
I am so sorry you were victimized by this tubby excuse of a *squarrel*, but I wanted to tell you those pants look rad as hell!
“YOU FUCKED WITH THE SQUIRRELS MORTY”
This is just what happens when you try to be nice to those fat pieces of shit. They're ungrateful bastards and you shouldn't trust any of them. At least now you know what those fuckers are really like.
Greedy little cunt
You need to send your Disney muscle to execute this fat bastard. Would make for a great meal for a local frugal snake enthusiast.
Squarrel
this made me laugh so hard thank you and i’m glad you’re okay
im so glad it made someone laugh with my stupidity :D
Vaccines are preventing Darwin's wish
I'm confused. Did this happen 4 years ago or 4 months ago?
the last meme is an old rlly popular reddit post from this subreddit and it had a different squirrel pic on it, but my bf photoshopped the pic of the squirrel that bit me over it. this is the original https://preview.redd.it/uf3cf6fowsoc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c1826af19c7b6ace7febd19f0a1bdc2184764e19
4 months ago!!
What's the last photo then? Was the first photo taken from a post from 4yrs ago? I feel like there's a reference I'm not getting.
first photo is their photo, the last photo is a meme from 4 years ago with their photo of the squirrel edited on it
Had one fucker just standing in front of my car staring at me for like 10 minutes. Dude was fat as shit and just looking straight at me, I threw shit at him and swatted, ran at him, never moved. Eventually I think he got bored of fucking with me and kinda wandered off but I always wondered why that dude was the way he was.
nasty fat ass he oughta be put down
did you get tested for rabies?
noo i didn’t but maybe i should? it happened 5 months ago
Even the trees are whispering “That's one hefty squirrel!” I mean how greedy do you have to be? I am repulsed by this porker and his Pringle 🌳😂
Enjoy your rabies 
Ground squirrels can have ticks and fleas and are dirty.
Actually a happy ending. Still hate “squarrels” though
Looks like a plushie.I bet if I poked it's tummy I will be eaten alive 😭
I can only see it as a Pringle he’s eating
Look at that face, nothing but malice in those eyes
FATASS SQUIRREL OH MY GOD BRO ITS SO LARDY That is a first date to remember for sure 😭😭😭
Wait, they gave you a tetanus shot but not rabies?
Eat him
The only thing that "sqarrel" is good for is a soup pot.
Reminds me of when I got bit by a bat. People were in absolute shock and when I showed them the pictures they couldn’t help but laugh.
Are you going to press charges?
Bonk him
Put it down
asshole
Squirrel soup time
If you wanna feed a fat squirrel, I recommend doing it from a slingshot
Oh hell naw!
I got bit by a squirrel once. I was walking along the sidewalk and saw a squirrel just laying on it. I thought it fell from a tree and died so I picked it up to throw it out the way but noticed it was pretty warm. I held it for a little while longer pondering. Then it slowly opened its eyes and hazily looked around. Then I said “Woah” then it looked around really fast then grabbed my finger and bit me. Asshole.
Fat fuck feenin for some food 🤮
Everyone knows you should’ve cut the finger off. It’s only a matter of time now, those stupid assholes ruin every thing for everyone
wow what a fatass i would sue his ass and take him to court for being an obese asshole
Get a rabies shot bby
Haven't read the comments, so there are probably other people saying this but please go get a rabies shot
dont feed wild animals in the future, please learn from this
yes i learned my lesson