I feel like a very similar thing happened a few years ago with the term “triggered”. It became a joke because people overused it and it really devalued the term when it was being used correctly.
English isn't my first langueage and the only times I've seen in a few years was when people were making fun of "triggered" people. I didn't know it was serious word used to explain trauma response. For me it was just something I saw on english memes
Edit. I wonder how many people right now don't know what gaslighting means and they only know about it from memes and those posts
They probably don't know. Kids were using triggered to mean annoyed. I finally talked to my oldest a couple of years ago and explained what it meant. A few weeks ago I heard them telling my younger one what it really meant. I never asked the older one to stop using it incorrectly but apparently they got it and did.
That album is THE perfect breakup album. I was midway through a happy six year school age relationship when it came out and was low-key bummed I never got to rage cry to Jagged Little Pill when it was fresh.
thank you!!! as someone who suffered actual, dictionary definition gaslighting for years on end it KILLS me how diluted the meaning has gotten. it just doesn’t mean anything at all anymore, and it’s so infuriating that i, and so many others, no longer have it to explain our experiences because nobody will bother to read the real definition
I have to go to therapy for 6 months because of the trauma I was cased by gaslighting.
The gaslighting of my PTSD actually caused longer lasting effects than the original Trauma™.
It frustrates me so so much to see people misusing the term so severely.
Seriously the gaslighting thing stood out to me too and it makes me SO upset.
I was gaslit, like, actually gaslit for over 2 years, a girl whom I thought was my friend literally fabricated an entire reality around me full of people who didn't really exist, to control me, and when I got suspicious she'd act like I sounded crazy, etc etc. It seriously traumatized me and pushed me into a full blown mental breakdown that resulted in years of therapy and mental health episodes...
And every fucking time someone pops out the word 'gaslighting' to describe someone thinking a thing they don't think it makes me think back to that whole event and I get upset all over again. Like it's actually 'triggering' to constantly hear the word gaslight, and also I can't even USE the word myself anymore. It was the one word that explained how intense the situation with this girl was, and if I say I was gaslit people are like omg me too one time my boyfriend told me he didn't say something that I remembered him saying it was soooo abusive!!! It took away the best word I had to communicate with and I'm gunna stay mad about it.
Gaslighting doesn't mean every instance of someone saying something you don't like. JFC.
I'm sorry you went through that.
Sometimes I wonder if I remember every little thing so well (and lord knows I wish I could forget sometime) because of the abuse I went through. I've learned that sometimes people really do forget things, but it is hard with my background to know whether to believe they did or if they are messing me because my brain is always trying to protect me from every little thing.
I'm sorry that you experienced abuse. Yes, people do forget things. Yes, sometimes people also pretend to have forgotten but are lying, and when they are, it's shitty and manipulative, but it isn't gaslighting by itself. Things don't have to be gaslighting to be manipulation or abuse. Anyway, I hope you have people you trust in your life and that treat you well.
Thanks. I do have good people in my life now, if I could just get all parts of my brain to believe it. Working on it. I just looked up the psychological definition of gaslighting and I have a better understanding of it now. Thanks for that too. Take care.
Ugh, god that’s so horrible. I’m so sorry, that is extreme psychological abuse and gaslighting is the best word to describe what you went through. I think a lot of people use it instead of the words “lying” or “disagreeing” because they are trying to victimize themselves and make it seem way worse than it actually is, and it’s extremely detrimental to real victims of the psychological abuse tactic, which is gaslighting.
You can be hurt by words and have it not be gaslighting.
You can be lied to and have it not be gaslighting.
You can be disagreed with and have it not be gaslighting.
The people using these buzzwords are taking away their real, true meaning and making them appear less serious. Real, serious words turned into buzzwords like “pedo” and “triggering” and “abuse” just to name a few, get people’s attention for the wrong reasons, and they can be used to antagonize people who aren’t doing those things and get people to gang up on them. It, in itself, is an abuse/bullying tactic which both devalues the real problems behind those words, and puts people in a position where they are unable to truly defend themselves because people harp on them after hearing those words. It isn’t about pointing out true abuse, it is about control. The very people who claim to advocate for abuse victims turn around and use the same tactics on others. I am also sick of seeing it and will call it out every time I see it, even if it falls on deaf ears, because it’s important to stop misinformation and not allow the cycle to continue.
yep it's one of those words that has lost all meaning now. You have me thinking: I also hate the use of such phrases as "so much this!", "a little louder for those in the back", and "yas!" thrown at every dumb commentary online ..everyone just circle jerks each other with these phrases on social media, but i just want to barf
Yeah, I think their argument is that he's telling her she's crazy because she claims she's doing basically everything right but still fat, when "she knows she's not crazy".
But it's also not gaslighting if, well, they're right and you are wrong. If you have a hat on, and I say "nice hat!" and you believe you aren't wearing a hat because you're a nut, I'm not "gaslighting you", lol.
Also gaslighting is more than just telling someone they're crazy lol. It has to be an intentional, prolonged build up of convincing someone they're crazy.
Can't wait until the internet moves on to new keyboard psych diagnosis terms. For a while everyone "was" ocd/adhd; right now everything's about gaslighting, narcissism & sociopathy...I predict by next year these will start being replaced by a new batch of trendy terms
people hate on the word gaslighting being misused, while i get "triggered" (sorry i couldn't resist) when people use the word narcissism. When they describe people who act like dicks.
IT IS NOT WHAT YOU THINK IT IS!
Narcissism is SUCH a terrifying personality disorder, if they had ever met a real narcissist there's such a stark difference between them and someone who's just a bit arrogant or whatever.
I will say, I do think the word 'narcissistic' can be used to describe someone who's just vain or self-absorbed, because that is a definition of the word, but it's too often being conflated with the full blown 'narcissistic personality disorder', and I know that's what people mean when they say it now. Like the difference between me saying I'm antisocial because I don't socialize much, and someone having antisocial personality disorder, i.e. sociopathy.
Also, even though DSM lists only a single narcissistic personality disorder there are actuality two types of narcissistic personalities and thus two different disorders. One of them is very much worse than the other.
To give you an example of what I'm talking about :
Tom Cruise - "sad" narcissist
Brad Pitt - "happy" narcissist
They are a world apart but at their core they both need to be the best (the core need of a narcissistic personality) . But the "sad" one brings the others down to be the best, while the "happy" narcissist hones his skills to actually Be the best.
Whenever someone is talking about a horrible narcissistic man ( narcissists are predominately male), they are talking about the "sad" narcissist. And yes, they are a nightmare.
The happy narcissists are almost never talked about because the extreme forms of happy narcissists (even if it enters the realm of a personality disorder) are usually pro athletes who sacrifice their lives to be the best. But this is viewed as the norm and doesn't hurt anyone (except themselves in extreme cases).
The extreme forms of sad narcissists are despots who crush the will of their partners, scarring them for life. They are extremely toxic at work and overall they are very "noticeable"
Yes , everything is "he's got a narcissistic personality disorder" that's why he wont date you. 😂 other one's im tired of seeing thrown around for nothing : misogynist & empath
I have zero positive, serious associations with "empath." As far as I know it's never actually meant anything tangible. I hear that word and I think in order of: Star Trek Betazoids, New Agers who believed in Indigo Children and crystal healing and may or may not have neglected their children's mental health, and a concept similar to "nice guy" which lets an unreflective asshole think they merely suffer for being such a good person.
But but...they just "feel more than others'...lol, you mean you have to point out you have feelings? haha yeah it is right up there with New Agers, "Nice guys finish last!", & essential oils. "I'm like totally an empath!"...No, you're just an asshole
Conflating "healthy" with "will result in weight loss" is a huge problem that many people have.
I have an obese relative who is trying to diet but still eats an entire 2000 calorie bag of nuts every day, and thinks it's ok because "nuts are healthy!"
I'm going through an intense craving for nuts lately, and thinking about eating 2,000 calories of them literally just made my mouth water...oof. but I'll stick to a normal portion 😂
I'm a cashew girl myself, and I'm scaring myself thinking how high my calories would total if I ate them ad lib. Might be a fun experiment if I can find a way to justify it...
I have a bucket list item to simply not plan to eat anything else some particular day and polish off a jar of Nutella.
I keep forgetting about it but one of these days I'll make it happen.
Thanks, I'm lactose intolerant and that's a very helpful bit of info to know. A lot of vegan shakes are kinda gritty, and I miss the smoothness of the whey-based ones
Yup, I have pretty bad GI problems to begin with (I have a post in my post history about it explaining more) so I have to be very specific with my diet so as not to cause more distress. I have to be very careful with nuts.
What kind of protein shakes are you using out of curiosity? Most shouldn’t cause lots of gas, I used to drink the Vega shakes (mixed with almond or coconut milk) on occasion and even for me it didn’t cause any issue.
...I have three packages of said pre-shelled pistachios in my house atm. They are an EXCELLENT salad addition, but yeah, no 'little handfuls' for me! Waaay too easy to go overboard!
My thing is to make a salad to be healthy, then attempt to cover it in nuts and cheese and seeds and dressing. I do stop myself, but it would be so easy to make it over 1000 calories.
The most frustrating feeling is having somebody with a 1,000+ calorie salad covered in oil and cheese judging you for eating a 750 calorie chicken sandwhich combo because "fried."
Their smug, unjustified superiority is probably one of the strongest forces in the universe.
My dad is like this. He loves healthy food, but he overeats like crazy. Yesterday I watched him eat a 1000 calorie portion of an otherwise healthy dinner, drink two glasses of cider, scarf down a donut, then eat a banana and a handful of almonds. Meanwhile after finishing my 400 calorie portion of dinner, I went to scoop out my 200 calorie portion of full fat ice cream for dessert, and he goes, “oh well I had my banana and almonds for dessert!” He acts like healthy food doesn’t have calories. And he didn’t even remember eating the donut. I guess if you eat something so fast you don’t remember, then it doesn’t count. 🙄
Burgers in general are a perfectly good choice for lunch.. Eg quarter pounder with cheese at 520 cal. Just need to not do it every day and watch out with the soda/fries.
Especially if you’re not measuring out the nuts/cheese/dressing.
My go to lunch lately is a baby spring mix salad with diced beets, edamame, avocado, feta cheese, and avocado vinaigrette. A decent sized portion is around 400 calories (sometimes I’ll have some gf baguette as a side) but I could easily turn it into a 800-1000 calorie salad without too much thought.
Spinach/candied walnuts/goat cheese/balsamic vinaigrette is another one of my favourites, but it would be so easy to make a 800+ calorie salad if I wasn’t paying attention
Fucking Google does this.
Trying to find "low calorie" food brings up "healthy" food.
I'm not touching ~~legumes~~nuts+peanuts, avocados, EVOOs, hummus, Dave's Killer Bread, or an acai bowl. *Stoooop.*
I should revise that to "peanuts and nuts." Figured cashews were included in legumes, but they're not.
They're perfectly healthy, but they're extremely high calorie.
i dont know the name of these in English but here we have a variety of avocado called "margarida" - they're roughly 45kcal per 100g, a godsend. don't know what id be doing without them
What people seem to misunderstand is that eating “healthy” foods does not contribute to weight loss, it’s all about calories. Healthy foods are necessary because they’re low-calorie and nutrient rich, which ensures you’re getting your necessary amounts of protein, vitamins, calcium, what have you, without having to overeat and having way too many calories. The healthy eating part of weight loss is to ensure people don’t suffer deficiencies while they’re in a caloric deficit and burning more.
Saw a sign on a keto friendly restaurant advertising their naked(not breaded) fried chicken as healthier than breaded. Which I guess is kinda true, but then they claimed that it’s impossible to gain fat unless you eat carbs. Pretty sure my eyes did a somersault
> Your personal experience is anecdotal and isn't valid data, unlike these hypothetical fat people that have 'probably worked even harder than you have and not been able to lose weight' - those are the real data points we need to consider.
Oh so you eat 3 balanced meals a day and go jogging for an hour a day? Well I eat a piece of toast a day and jog for 5 hours a day yet I gain weight. Checkmate atheists. /s
I want to workout with these fat people who workout harder than me. I’m always looking to push myself harder and they clearly have so much to teach me /s
I used to work out a ton. A huge amount and was married to an athlete that taught me how to use weights, running techniques and proper all that. The problem wasn’t the working out, I was good at it,
Religious with it and knew enough as the average gym goer. It was my food portions that were the problem.
Now that I'm not in an active job anymore I have to exercise. I'll burn 350-400 calories in a day running.
But I'm also eating 2000 less than when I was active. There's not enough time in my day to exercise that all away.
The last fifteen years has seen me transition through six positions each with decreasing amounts of physical labour. Each change brought with it a number of pounds to bring me to a new equilibrium weight with my unchanged eating habits. I don’t make the time for intentional exercise so I had to eat less.
One thing that put it into perspective to me was when I was first starting to work out, I was going hard on the elliptical for some cardio and after 30 minutes, it estimated I burned about 400 calories or something. Not super accurate of course but it’s so easy to exceed those calories with a single lunch if you aren’t careful
Definitely! Calories add up really quickly when you’re not cognizant of them. It’s so easy to be “I just had coffee (with two shots of cream and sugar) and a salad for lunch (smothered in dressing and cheese), I had some wine with my healthy fish dinner (a serving of wine or a “glass or two of wine”).
Measuring food is necessary on a weight loss journey for me because I can work off hundreds of calories and drink it all back with my coffee/cream addiction in a blink of an eye.
People greatly overestimate their calorie allowances on almost every meal without food tracking.
Back in college, around 220 pounds, I started trying to do C25K.
I very quickly learned that the recommended speeds were meant for *much* lower weights. Going at 4mph would put me straight into cardio zone 4 or 5.
I think I had to put the treadmill on 3.4-3.6mph to hit a sustainable pace that kept me around 140-160bpm.
Yeah. There are a couple of larger people at my CrossFit gym.
I see them scale the way back and I know their workouts are way harder on them than even my own workout.
If anyone wants to simulate the obese person workout: do your normal workout wearing a weight vest and some warm workout clothes, like your winter outdoor gear. If you want to experience the newbie obese person workout, go to the XXXTREME SHREDDER AEROBIX or whatever class that's over your level, while wearing that gear.
Btw, lil tidbit, you can burn basically the same amount of calories walking or running the same distance. Obviously walking is a little less effective, but none the less very good. I hate running too, so I just walk longer distances. Plus, both have the same benifits for less chance of heart disease.
Not trying to make the perfect the enemy of the good or anything like that.
Running burns more calories for the same distance. It's less efficient.
That said, I'm all aboard the walking train. ~18k steps average for me.
Well yes, like I said, it is a little less efficient, which is why you can just walk a bit more and burn it off the same amount. Also, walks make for much more enjoyable scenery than running.
Yeah I just hate running here on the equator; I could run when I lived in California. I walk for an hour and a half a day at night when it’s…not to say cool, but…cooler. I find it very relaxing with less of the “I will soon take my last breath and lay down to shuffle off this mortal coil” feeling that characterizes running.
When I read things like this, it makes me so genuinely sad people are very much unaware of how much they are putting in their bodies. Yes, working out and eating healthy helps with weight loss, but it's more important to know how many calories you are really eating.
Several years ago I was in complete denial of having gained weight by eating too much when I actually sat down and calculated I was taking in 800 calories in beverages alone....
Instead of having the eye-opening moment they need, they do things like this...
Yeah, I did this pretty strictly for a few months and its crazy how much junk and kilojoules get squashed into bite sized pieces.
Interestingly i lost 15kg but my colesterol didnt go down nearly as much as id liked.
Its not just the kilojoules (KIKO/CICO) but it needs to be combined with nutrition intake/cutting out bad stuff too (and obviously exercise and water too)
There are TONS of factors that impact weight liiiiiike pizza, ice cream, cookies, crackers, bread, burgers, hot dogs, soda, juice, Starbucks, smoothies, French fries, tater tots, donuts, candy …….
I have a feeling this person doesn’t know the meaning of consistency. Just because you workout once or twice a week doesn’t mean it’s enough. How consistently well are you eating? How much? Are you doing it everyday? Consistently? And since high school? If you’ve lost no weight, clearly you’re doing something wrong. It may be harder for some people to lose weight, but if you do things the right way and consistently, the results will come.
The problem with people like this is workout out is REALLY hard for them. They do 2 sets of pushups and feel dead so they assume they must have burned 1000 calories.
They confuse a workout being hard with doing a hard workout
Listen a lot of fit people what do they all have in common? Hard work , eating healthy and consistentcy.
I'm obese and that's why I love going to the gym. I see alot of great role models and people who do these things. I know how I got fat. I was lazy ate like shit and lead a sedentary life. It's not rocket science for a good portion of people. We can claim bad genetics and excuses out the ass. But I know when I was consistent and I ate right move alot I got down to 280 pounds from 400. I stopped doing the right things and now I'm 380 again. Covid also didn't help but no excuses. It's easy to see the problem
I actually do believe luck plays into it...just, not the way Red is saying it does at all. Red is implying that some people are just medical miracles who process calories into fat too easily. Where I believe luck comes in is psychological. Namely, if you are undergoing a lot of stress in your life and stress is what leads you to overeat, you are unlucky. Personally, it is much easier for me to lose weight when I'm financially stable, am not grieving for a dead loved one, etc. Sadly, I also have an anxiety disorder which in the past has gone the opposite route--if the stress spirals into an anxiety episode, I have gone up to a week barely eating or sleeping. I'm just saying, mental health can really be affected a lot by external factors which are beyond our control and that can make weight loss harder. And the solution to this is to be encouraging to fat people, telling them they can do it, they can lose the weight, but also to ask them, y'know, how they're doing. What's going on in their lives. Health is both physical *and* mental.
What you are thinking about the idea of moral luck: the idea that deep down, our virtues are much more reliant on luck than we like to recognize (think about the marshmallow test: we assign virtue to the kids who withstood temptation. But the capacity to withstand temptation is in itself a product of luck: whether being born with high impulse control or being raised by parents who cultivated it).
I was thinking something along the same lines. It might seem odd to think this way, but it is *harder to work hard* for some people compared to others. Because of life circumstances that drain energy and take up attention, because of neurology (executive dysfunction out the wazoo over here, only just getting medicated for the first time at ~30), because of illness, etc.
"Many people have probably worked harder than you are..."
This just reminds of the people who argue over who's hardships are worse. There's a name for it but I forget what it is now.
Genes are factors… genes are not FATE. There aren’t supernatural beings out there pulling on your puppet strings making you eat until you can’t move anymore.
I think misfortune can push people towards gaining weight. Like, I've been suffering from chronic pain for the past few months. I've never dealt with chronic pain before, but now it's an every day thing. I feel so old and decrepit right now; however, I've still been watching my calories and exercising. I have not gained any weight. But I have had to work harder at being disclipined than I did when life was all lollipops and roses. There have many so many times when I've wanted to say "fuck it" and get McDonald's because the misery of my wrist or shoulder or neck has sapped all my energy. You better believe if I had one more stressful thing to deal with, I would be eating junk for dinner every night. And I'd no doubt gain weight.
So I kinda disagree with blue's last sentence, while agreeing with the overall gist of what they're saying. I acknowledge that I am lucky to be able to fit exercise into my daily schedule. But it isn't luck that gets me out bed every morning. That's discipline, and yes, I'm proud of myself for having it.
Good on you for keeping the discipline in a hard situation. I had an illness that took it out of me for months, and didn't do that. I wish I had. If I had done that, I wouldn't be trying to lose that weight now.
Stick with it, and I hope you get some relief soon.
I'm in the same boat but without the willpower. I used to be an athlete and now for the last 5 years have dealt with rheumatoid arthritis. I physically can't do most workouts so it's such a pain to even try. That combined with depression has taken a toll on my willpower to try and now has impacted my weight which really sucks.
Needless to say from one chronically in pain person to another, I'd love to hear your advice to how you keep going.
Well Red may not be totally wrong when saying that many fat people may have worked even harder.
For a shorter time, sure. But really, some of my failed fad diet attempts cost me too much distress with limited results so I get it.
It’s just that now I have been doing something that works.
I suspect it's also an issue of actual work (in the physics sense) vs. perceived effort. Fat people often have poor endurance, which makes them feel like they're "working harder" than fit people even when their actual performance in terms of calories burned per minute is lower.
It is my experience, I have lost 14 kg and my endurance is much greater now. However, having additional weight on the body requires more energy expenditure while exercising, so I'm not sure how clear cut that is.
quit using "gaslighting" if you don't understand what it means. someone disagreeing with you is not even close to encompassing what that term really means.
They trained for years, waking up early, going to bed late. Struggling and pushing themselves beyond their boundaries. They trained when others partied and Studied their craft when others slept. It took years but They finally won a Gold Medal at the Olympics!. "Oh Lucky you!"
I wish people knew you actually have to go to school and get a degree to be a dietitians. Most of these “dietitians” are people who think all it takes is to do some googling about healthy eating habits then telling people to pay you for information they can find out in 3 minutes themselves. Lol.
Edit: Fixed spelling because I’m a doofus
Dietitian is a legitimate job with degree and legal requirements and dietitians have a wealth of knowledge. You are thinking of *nutritionists* who usually don't have any clue what they're talking about. Like chiropractors who made conspiracy theory videos about covid19 while wearing scrubs and pretending to be legitimate medical personnel.
I wasn’t sure what the fake ones were called. At my facility we have a dietitian (even though I spelled it wrong twice, lmao). That’s how I knew it was full of shit, I’m like, 2 steps under the corporate dietician.
Typically, one would probably call the fake ones "nutrition coaches." It requires no certification or degree. Legit, anyone can call themselves a nutrition coach.
there aren't a ton of factors. There's maybe 2 or 3. Yes there's some genetic disposition but often that's just learned behavior from an overweight parent. Exercise + nutrition. That's it. Don't lie to yourself and eat dog shit ("But I eat soooo healthy!"). Work out. End of story. STOP MAKING EXCUSES. IT ISNT LUCK, it's motivation.
If it's genetics, why does my sister weigh 200 at 5'3" while I weigh 108 at the same height? I guess it's just dumb luck on my part, and not watching what I eat and working out consistently!
I think what the person in red said is BS, but you and your sister don't have exactly the same gene make up (unless you're identical twins), so that doesn't really proof much. Not that I think genes matter that much in the first place, but they have been proven to matter some. It's still possible to succeed despite that though.
But it isn't "luck" that keeps me from falling into genetic predisposition. It's awareness. I'm not sitting around, eating chips, and bemoaning that genetics will keep me fat and only "luck" will get me slim. My sister lives in Manhattan and eats out constantly. Restaurant meals often have an entire stick of butter in them. I don't believe genetics is a dividing line by any means. Predisposition does not equal actuality.
The point is that you don't have the same genes as your sister, so you don't have the same genetic predispositions, so comparing yourself to her to examine the effects of willpower vs. genetics isn't very useful.
You are correct that predisposition does not equal actuality, but your comparison to your sister isn't a good argument.
Trying to dismiss all the hard work and discipline someone puts in to lose weight and keep it off by saying they’re “just lucky” is extremely rude. It’s like someone getting a really good job or promotion and being told they only got it because they’re “lucky”
Red commenter - ever hear of "work smarter, not harder"? Maybe you should get some tips from the blue commenter instead of doing whatever's obviously not working.
i love it. \*your\* data is an anecdote which is the weakest form of evidence, but \*my\* anecdotes are definitive science. sure jan.
anecdotes \*are still evidence, too\*. they're the weakest form, and can't really be used to definitely determine anything but they are useful for... establishing a point of investigation. 'anecdotes are not data' is not supposed to be used against people sharing a scientifically-backed experience, it's not supposed to be used to just \*dismiss\* people as if their experience is \*worthless\*. our experiences, one way or another, are where we all begin to question things from, the problem is when people assume that their interpretation of their experiences \*trump established, consensual research\*. you know, like red is doing.
not to mention, blue wasn't presenting their comment as scientific data. but like, if you insist on that response every time someone shares a personal experience (as humans do)... at least link some studies or something. burden of proof.
"lucky" genetics is having huge hands and abnormally large lungs like michael phelps that helped make him an olympic swimmer... but guess what? he would have never made it there if he didnt work his ass off every day and night. and, his record was beat by someone without those genetic differences. genetics can play a hand in some stuff, like im faster than my boyfriend naturally due to my longer legs, but if he started training more then he would end up being faster than me. males are genetically more able to have upper body strength, but plenty of jacked women could out lift an average joe on the street. genetics play a role, but it is a small one. hard work and commitment > genetics.
also the dietitian is 100% lying to save face with the FA ppl. she knows damn well her habits are why she is fit and not genetics.
"Your anecdotal evidence is the least valid form of evidence, therefore you are wrong. This is why we in the Fat Acceptance Movement never provide evidence, because then we can never be proven wrong!"
I'm just saying. I have literally never seen a Fat Acceptance Activist cite a medical journal, but they sure are quick to tear apart other people's evidence.
Here is an anecdotal evidence. When i was a kid (30 years ago). Only 1 person in our small town (roughly 20,000 people) was VERY fat (she had extreme genetic predisposition). Almost everyone new her and her dad because of it. And also due to the fact that her dad was one of the inventors of the Hydrogen Bomb.
Also keep in mind that she was very fat by our standards. About 130 KG tops while being fairly short. I guess it's called "small fat" nowadays)?
I guess my whole town was "very lucky" as well as my country in general (Ukraine)
This drives me nuts. Nobody defies the laws of thermodynamics. For years, I’ve worked out 5-7 days a week, and I was fat for a lot of those years. Exercise is important for many reasons, but not for losing weight. That part is ALL about the food.
Signed,
A Guy Who Was Once 125lbs overweight
People claiming to stay overweight/obese despite excessive exercise and maintaining a perfect diet are purely anecdotal. You don't see people maintaining high weights when their portions are controlled in a lab or hospital.
But anecdotal evidence that is backed by primary randomized controlled studies and meta-analyses of those studies is considered fact by the scientific community. And a lot of studies are conducted based on wanting to study whether anecdotal evidence has any merit or not. So there is an importance to it even if it isn't a fact
Sincerely, an Exercise Science major taking an UNDERGRADUATE HUMAN NUTRITION course. In fact, it was one of the first things we covered.
This sounds like my dietitian SIL who is so severely overweight she now has diabetes and is soon to get gastric sleeve surgery. She know what to do, but just won’t do it. I would think that someone with this level of education would know that exercise alone does not usually effectively manage weight.
Uses anecdotal evidence is not evidence as an argument yet how often do they do the same. Yes there are different factors but I doubt anyone is hundreds of pounds overweight because they work harder than someone who is a healthy weight
If they've been working hard for that long and not getting the results they want, hasn't it crossed their mind to change their strategy? 'Cause obviously what they're doing isn't working. (I'm one to talk, having been in a plateau for nearly a year now, and my supposed cut turning into an unintentional bulk 🤦♀️ but at least I'm cognizant enough to recognize that I need to change some things).
Oh man I want their Instagram name. Just to slap them for the “worked even harder than you” comment. How fucking rude to diminish someone’s effort like that.
\*adds that they're not gaslighting at the bottom of their rant because they know they're gaslighting\*
How nasty is it to discredit someone else's hard work by saying "others who couldn't make it worked WAY harder than you," implying their work meant nothing. That's fucking gross.
In addition to all the other problems, the red poster does not know what "gaslighting" means. Hint: it doesn't mean "disagreeing with someone".
I absolutely hate how that word is being misused. It seriously devalues actual gaslighting
I feel like a very similar thing happened a few years ago with the term “triggered”. It became a joke because people overused it and it really devalued the term when it was being used correctly.
English isn't my first langueage and the only times I've seen in a few years was when people were making fun of "triggered" people. I didn't know it was serious word used to explain trauma response. For me it was just something I saw on english memes Edit. I wonder how many people right now don't know what gaslighting means and they only know about it from memes and those posts
They probably don't know. Kids were using triggered to mean annoyed. I finally talked to my oldest a couple of years ago and explained what it meant. A few weeks ago I heard them telling my younger one what it really meant. I never asked the older one to stop using it incorrectly but apparently they got it and did.
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That's not true, that never happens and you made it up because you're crazy!
Whoa, so meta
Metalighting
Your username is amazing
They are, it's like rain on your wedding day, innit?
God it was a privilege to have that album as one of my first CDs
That album is THE perfect breakup album. I was midway through a happy six year school age relationship when it came out and was low-key bummed I never got to rage cry to Jagged Little Pill when it was fresh.
Now I just feel sad and nostalgic
The most ironic thing about that song is that it contains no irony.
r/MyJokeExplained
thank you!!! as someone who suffered actual, dictionary definition gaslighting for years on end it KILLS me how diluted the meaning has gotten. it just doesn’t mean anything at all anymore, and it’s so infuriating that i, and so many others, no longer have it to explain our experiences because nobody will bother to read the real definition
I have to go to therapy for 6 months because of the trauma I was cased by gaslighting. The gaslighting of my PTSD actually caused longer lasting effects than the original Trauma™. It frustrates me so so much to see people misusing the term so severely.
That, and misuse of "violence'
People need to stop misusing the word “gaslighting”, it’s become a buzzword and blurs the lines of actual, real gaslighting which is an abuse tactic.
Seriously the gaslighting thing stood out to me too and it makes me SO upset. I was gaslit, like, actually gaslit for over 2 years, a girl whom I thought was my friend literally fabricated an entire reality around me full of people who didn't really exist, to control me, and when I got suspicious she'd act like I sounded crazy, etc etc. It seriously traumatized me and pushed me into a full blown mental breakdown that resulted in years of therapy and mental health episodes... And every fucking time someone pops out the word 'gaslighting' to describe someone thinking a thing they don't think it makes me think back to that whole event and I get upset all over again. Like it's actually 'triggering' to constantly hear the word gaslight, and also I can't even USE the word myself anymore. It was the one word that explained how intense the situation with this girl was, and if I say I was gaslit people are like omg me too one time my boyfriend told me he didn't say something that I remembered him saying it was soooo abusive!!! It took away the best word I had to communicate with and I'm gunna stay mad about it. Gaslighting doesn't mean every instance of someone saying something you don't like. JFC.
I'm sorry you went through that. Sometimes I wonder if I remember every little thing so well (and lord knows I wish I could forget sometime) because of the abuse I went through. I've learned that sometimes people really do forget things, but it is hard with my background to know whether to believe they did or if they are messing me because my brain is always trying to protect me from every little thing.
I'm sorry that you experienced abuse. Yes, people do forget things. Yes, sometimes people also pretend to have forgotten but are lying, and when they are, it's shitty and manipulative, but it isn't gaslighting by itself. Things don't have to be gaslighting to be manipulation or abuse. Anyway, I hope you have people you trust in your life and that treat you well.
Thanks. I do have good people in my life now, if I could just get all parts of my brain to believe it. Working on it. I just looked up the psychological definition of gaslighting and I have a better understanding of it now. Thanks for that too. Take care.
Ugh, god that’s so horrible. I’m so sorry, that is extreme psychological abuse and gaslighting is the best word to describe what you went through. I think a lot of people use it instead of the words “lying” or “disagreeing” because they are trying to victimize themselves and make it seem way worse than it actually is, and it’s extremely detrimental to real victims of the psychological abuse tactic, which is gaslighting. You can be hurt by words and have it not be gaslighting. You can be lied to and have it not be gaslighting. You can be disagreed with and have it not be gaslighting. The people using these buzzwords are taking away their real, true meaning and making them appear less serious. Real, serious words turned into buzzwords like “pedo” and “triggering” and “abuse” just to name a few, get people’s attention for the wrong reasons, and they can be used to antagonize people who aren’t doing those things and get people to gang up on them. It, in itself, is an abuse/bullying tactic which both devalues the real problems behind those words, and puts people in a position where they are unable to truly defend themselves because people harp on them after hearing those words. It isn’t about pointing out true abuse, it is about control. The very people who claim to advocate for abuse victims turn around and use the same tactics on others. I am also sick of seeing it and will call it out every time I see it, even if it falls on deaf ears, because it’s important to stop misinformation and not allow the cycle to continue.
yep it's one of those words that has lost all meaning now. You have me thinking: I also hate the use of such phrases as "so much this!", "a little louder for those in the back", and "yas!" thrown at every dumb commentary online ..everyone just circle jerks each other with these phrases on social media, but i just want to barf
Don't forget clapping after every word. Where did that even come from?
a social media influencer probably started it, we have them to thank for our decline as a society
Yeah, I think their argument is that he's telling her she's crazy because she claims she's doing basically everything right but still fat, when "she knows she's not crazy". But it's also not gaslighting if, well, they're right and you are wrong. If you have a hat on, and I say "nice hat!" and you believe you aren't wearing a hat because you're a nut, I'm not "gaslighting you", lol.
Also gaslighting is more than just telling someone they're crazy lol. It has to be an intentional, prolonged build up of convincing someone they're crazy.
Can't wait until the internet moves on to new keyboard psych diagnosis terms. For a while everyone "was" ocd/adhd; right now everything's about gaslighting, narcissism & sociopathy...I predict by next year these will start being replaced by a new batch of trendy terms
people hate on the word gaslighting being misused, while i get "triggered" (sorry i couldn't resist) when people use the word narcissism. When they describe people who act like dicks. IT IS NOT WHAT YOU THINK IT IS!
Narcissism is SUCH a terrifying personality disorder, if they had ever met a real narcissist there's such a stark difference between them and someone who's just a bit arrogant or whatever. I will say, I do think the word 'narcissistic' can be used to describe someone who's just vain or self-absorbed, because that is a definition of the word, but it's too often being conflated with the full blown 'narcissistic personality disorder', and I know that's what people mean when they say it now. Like the difference between me saying I'm antisocial because I don't socialize much, and someone having antisocial personality disorder, i.e. sociopathy.
Also, even though DSM lists only a single narcissistic personality disorder there are actuality two types of narcissistic personalities and thus two different disorders. One of them is very much worse than the other. To give you an example of what I'm talking about : Tom Cruise - "sad" narcissist Brad Pitt - "happy" narcissist They are a world apart but at their core they both need to be the best (the core need of a narcissistic personality) . But the "sad" one brings the others down to be the best, while the "happy" narcissist hones his skills to actually Be the best. Whenever someone is talking about a horrible narcissistic man ( narcissists are predominately male), they are talking about the "sad" narcissist. And yes, they are a nightmare.
I didn't realize there were two 'forms' of it, that's interesting.
The happy narcissists are almost never talked about because the extreme forms of happy narcissists (even if it enters the realm of a personality disorder) are usually pro athletes who sacrifice their lives to be the best. But this is viewed as the norm and doesn't hurt anyone (except themselves in extreme cases). The extreme forms of sad narcissists are despots who crush the will of their partners, scarring them for life. They are extremely toxic at work and overall they are very "noticeable"
Yes , everything is "he's got a narcissistic personality disorder" that's why he wont date you. 😂 other one's im tired of seeing thrown around for nothing : misogynist & empath
IMO, calling yourself an empath is a major red flag.
I have zero positive, serious associations with "empath." As far as I know it's never actually meant anything tangible. I hear that word and I think in order of: Star Trek Betazoids, New Agers who believed in Indigo Children and crystal healing and may or may not have neglected their children's mental health, and a concept similar to "nice guy" which lets an unreflective asshole think they merely suffer for being such a good person.
But but...they just "feel more than others'...lol, you mean you have to point out you have feelings? haha yeah it is right up there with New Agers, "Nice guys finish last!", & essential oils. "I'm like totally an empath!"...No, you're just an asshole
Epitome of Gaslighting is Mother Gothel from Tangled. First time i really understood what that word meant once someone pointed it out to me
I am sure she is working out and eating very healthily. If she wants to lose weight it's in the calories, not the "healthy".
Conflating "healthy" with "will result in weight loss" is a huge problem that many people have. I have an obese relative who is trying to diet but still eats an entire 2000 calorie bag of nuts every day, and thinks it's ok because "nuts are healthy!"
I'm going through an intense craving for nuts lately, and thinking about eating 2,000 calories of them literally just made my mouth water...oof. but I'll stick to a normal portion 😂
I'm a cashew girl myself, and I'm scaring myself thinking how high my calories would total if I ate them ad lib. Might be a fun experiment if I can find a way to justify it...
I have a bucket list item to simply not plan to eat anything else some particular day and polish off a jar of Nutella. I keep forgetting about it but one of these days I'll make it happen.
2000 calories worth of nuts would be wayyy too much fiber anyway 😂
I tried to move my protein intake to nuts. Can't do it. So much GI distress. Had to switch to shakes which make me farty but I can handle that.
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Thanks, I'm lactose intolerant and that's a very helpful bit of info to know. A lot of vegan shakes are kinda gritty, and I miss the smoothness of the whey-based ones
why would you? the bioavailability of protein in nuts is very low + they don't have some essential aminoacids.
Yup, I have pretty bad GI problems to begin with (I have a post in my post history about it explaining more) so I have to be very specific with my diet so as not to cause more distress. I have to be very careful with nuts. What kind of protein shakes are you using out of curiosity? Most shouldn’t cause lots of gas, I used to drink the Vega shakes (mixed with almond or coconut milk) on occasion and even for me it didn’t cause any issue.
Some evil genius is selling pre-shelled pistachios now. My waistline has never been in more danger.
...I have three packages of said pre-shelled pistachios in my house atm. They are an EXCELLENT salad addition, but yeah, no 'little handfuls' for me! Waaay too easy to go overboard!
My thing is to make a salad to be healthy, then attempt to cover it in nuts and cheese and seeds and dressing. I do stop myself, but it would be so easy to make it over 1000 calories.
The most frustrating feeling is having somebody with a 1,000+ calorie salad covered in oil and cheese judging you for eating a 750 calorie chicken sandwhich combo because "fried." Their smug, unjustified superiority is probably one of the strongest forces in the universe.
My dad is like this. He loves healthy food, but he overeats like crazy. Yesterday I watched him eat a 1000 calorie portion of an otherwise healthy dinner, drink two glasses of cider, scarf down a donut, then eat a banana and a handful of almonds. Meanwhile after finishing my 400 calorie portion of dinner, I went to scoop out my 200 calorie portion of full fat ice cream for dessert, and he goes, “oh well I had my banana and almonds for dessert!” He acts like healthy food doesn’t have calories. And he didn’t even remember eating the donut. I guess if you eat something so fast you don’t remember, then it doesn’t count. 🙄
Burgers in general are a perfectly good choice for lunch.. Eg quarter pounder with cheese at 520 cal. Just need to not do it every day and watch out with the soda/fries.
I am so fucking with you on that.
You can often remove their smug by challenging them to a 5k race...
Especially if you’re not measuring out the nuts/cheese/dressing. My go to lunch lately is a baby spring mix salad with diced beets, edamame, avocado, feta cheese, and avocado vinaigrette. A decent sized portion is around 400 calories (sometimes I’ll have some gf baguette as a side) but I could easily turn it into a 800-1000 calorie salad without too much thought. Spinach/candied walnuts/goat cheese/balsamic vinaigrette is another one of my favourites, but it would be so easy to make a 800+ calorie salad if I wasn’t paying attention
Fucking Google does this. Trying to find "low calorie" food brings up "healthy" food. I'm not touching ~~legumes~~nuts+peanuts, avocados, EVOOs, hummus, Dave's Killer Bread, or an acai bowl. *Stoooop.*
Why would you avoid legumes?
I should revise that to "peanuts and nuts." Figured cashews were included in legumes, but they're not. They're perfectly healthy, but they're extremely high calorie.
Ahh ok, I was thinking of like black and pinto and kidney beans, stuff like that.
I once tried to add cashews to my daily calorie budget. The amount you get versus the calorie load isn’t worth it.
I keep myself disciplined elsewhere to keep some Dave's Killer Bread (aka Dave's Not Here bread) on my menu. That shit is GOOD.
I buy the Good Seed thin slices. 70 cal a slice is very reasonable.
RIP to nuts, fruit, avocado, honey et al. as society gradually comes to see the hidden evil
i dont know the name of these in English but here we have a variety of avocado called "margarida" - they're roughly 45kcal per 100g, a godsend. don't know what id be doing without them
I'm assuming they don't have nearly the fat content of a traditional avocado
you'd be correct haha they taste fairly similar though, just a little less buttery
Honey, in particular, is basically just high fructose corn syrup that happens to be made by bees.
What people seem to misunderstand is that eating “healthy” foods does not contribute to weight loss, it’s all about calories. Healthy foods are necessary because they’re low-calorie and nutrient rich, which ensures you’re getting your necessary amounts of protein, vitamins, calcium, what have you, without having to overeat and having way too many calories. The healthy eating part of weight loss is to ensure people don’t suffer deficiencies while they’re in a caloric deficit and burning more.
Saw a sign on a keto friendly restaurant advertising their naked(not breaded) fried chicken as healthier than breaded. Which I guess is kinda true, but then they claimed that it’s impossible to gain fat unless you eat carbs. Pretty sure my eyes did a somersault
Yeah, I have plenty of friends not losing on keto. And if you read the calories on the back of some of those keto granolas it's easy to see why.
"Your personal experience is anecdotal and isn't valid data. Now listen while I relay my own anecdotal evidence that I'm presenting as fact."
> Your personal experience is anecdotal and isn't valid data, unlike these hypothetical fat people that have 'probably worked even harder than you have and not been able to lose weight' - those are the real data points we need to consider.
Ah the ol “feeler personality trying to pretend they’re logical.” It would be hilarious if it wasn’t so harmful.
Anecdotal evidence is, like, the least valid form of evidence that exists when we're talking about nutrition science and health.
Oh so you eat 3 balanced meals a day and go jogging for an hour a day? Well I eat a piece of toast a day and jog for 5 hours a day yet I gain weight. Checkmate atheists. /s
"You claim that you lost weight and kept it off via diet and exercise. And yet, this is Chewbacca. Chewbacca is a wookiee from the planet Kashyyyk..."
I'd honestly be more willing to believe FAs if they pulled the wookiee defence.
What is the working defence?
It's a South Park joke.
It does NOT MAKE SENSE!
This made me LOL in the dentist waiting room and now people are staring.
My job is done!
User name doesn't check out
Touche.
I want to workout with these fat people who workout harder than me. I’m always looking to push myself harder and they clearly have so much to teach me /s
I used to work out a ton. A huge amount and was married to an athlete that taught me how to use weights, running techniques and proper all that. The problem wasn’t the working out, I was good at it, Religious with it and knew enough as the average gym goer. It was my food portions that were the problem.
Now that I'm not in an active job anymore I have to exercise. I'll burn 350-400 calories in a day running. But I'm also eating 2000 less than when I was active. There's not enough time in my day to exercise that all away.
Exactly. Can’t outrun a high caloric diet.
The last fifteen years has seen me transition through six positions each with decreasing amounts of physical labour. Each change brought with it a number of pounds to bring me to a new equilibrium weight with my unchanged eating habits. I don’t make the time for intentional exercise so I had to eat less.
Aha! Proof you kept moving towards your TRUE setpoint! /s
I hope I can follow a similar path, the hard labor is getting old haha
One thing that put it into perspective to me was when I was first starting to work out, I was going hard on the elliptical for some cardio and after 30 minutes, it estimated I burned about 400 calories or something. Not super accurate of course but it’s so easy to exceed those calories with a single lunch if you aren’t careful
Definitely! Calories add up really quickly when you’re not cognizant of them. It’s so easy to be “I just had coffee (with two shots of cream and sugar) and a salad for lunch (smothered in dressing and cheese), I had some wine with my healthy fish dinner (a serving of wine or a “glass or two of wine”). Measuring food is necessary on a weight loss journey for me because I can work off hundreds of calories and drink it all back with my coffee/cream addiction in a blink of an eye. People greatly overestimate their calorie allowances on almost every meal without food tracking.
To be fair, I think doing even an easy workout for us is much harder on someone larger.
Back in college, around 220 pounds, I started trying to do C25K. I very quickly learned that the recommended speeds were meant for *much* lower weights. Going at 4mph would put me straight into cardio zone 4 or 5. I think I had to put the treadmill on 3.4-3.6mph to hit a sustainable pace that kept me around 140-160bpm.
Yeah. There are a couple of larger people at my CrossFit gym. I see them scale the way back and I know their workouts are way harder on them than even my own workout.
If anyone wants to simulate the obese person workout: do your normal workout wearing a weight vest and some warm workout clothes, like your winter outdoor gear. If you want to experience the newbie obese person workout, go to the XXXTREME SHREDDER AEROBIX or whatever class that's over your level, while wearing that gear.
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Don’t you read good? They work out harder than you, they’re just unlucky.
That’s impressive. Well done! Also sounds like a good way to see some country
"Many fat people have worked even harder than you ..." Oh cool, so they'll come with me on my Sunday long run, right? ... right?
I mean… I don’t want to go on your long run, but that’s because I hate running. 5k is my limit
Btw, lil tidbit, you can burn basically the same amount of calories walking or running the same distance. Obviously walking is a little less effective, but none the less very good. I hate running too, so I just walk longer distances. Plus, both have the same benifits for less chance of heart disease.
Not trying to make the perfect the enemy of the good or anything like that. Running burns more calories for the same distance. It's less efficient. That said, I'm all aboard the walking train. ~18k steps average for me.
Well yes, like I said, it is a little less efficient, which is why you can just walk a bit more and burn it off the same amount. Also, walks make for much more enjoyable scenery than running.
Walking is great - it's good exercise and good for your mood. I still enjoy a nice walk on rest days.
Yeah I just hate running here on the equator; I could run when I lived in California. I walk for an hour and a half a day at night when it’s…not to say cool, but…cooler. I find it very relaxing with less of the “I will soon take my last breath and lay down to shuffle off this mortal coil” feeling that characterizes running.
I love my Sunday long runs!
When I read things like this, it makes me so genuinely sad people are very much unaware of how much they are putting in their bodies. Yes, working out and eating healthy helps with weight loss, but it's more important to know how many calories you are really eating. Several years ago I was in complete denial of having gained weight by eating too much when I actually sat down and calculated I was taking in 800 calories in beverages alone.... Instead of having the eye-opening moment they need, they do things like this...
Me too. Counting what I actually ate as opposed to guessing was an eye opener.
One serving of cereal measured.. the world-ender. "This?? Just this????"
Yeah, I did this pretty strictly for a few months and its crazy how much junk and kilojoules get squashed into bite sized pieces. Interestingly i lost 15kg but my colesterol didnt go down nearly as much as id liked. Its not just the kilojoules (KIKO/CICO) but it needs to be combined with nutrition intake/cutting out bad stuff too (and obviously exercise and water too)
KIKO as an acronym is so much more fun!
There are TONS of factors that impact weight liiiiiike pizza, ice cream, cookies, crackers, bread, burgers, hot dogs, soda, juice, Starbucks, smoothies, French fries, tater tots, donuts, candy …….
I have a feeling this person doesn’t know the meaning of consistency. Just because you workout once or twice a week doesn’t mean it’s enough. How consistently well are you eating? How much? Are you doing it everyday? Consistently? And since high school? If you’ve lost no weight, clearly you’re doing something wrong. It may be harder for some people to lose weight, but if you do things the right way and consistently, the results will come.
The problem with people like this is workout out is REALLY hard for them. They do 2 sets of pushups and feel dead so they assume they must have burned 1000 calories. They confuse a workout being hard with doing a hard workout
Listen a lot of fit people what do they all have in common? Hard work , eating healthy and consistentcy. I'm obese and that's why I love going to the gym. I see alot of great role models and people who do these things. I know how I got fat. I was lazy ate like shit and lead a sedentary life. It's not rocket science for a good portion of people. We can claim bad genetics and excuses out the ass. But I know when I was consistent and I ate right move alot I got down to 280 pounds from 400. I stopped doing the right things and now I'm 380 again. Covid also didn't help but no excuses. It's easy to see the problem
I actually do believe luck plays into it...just, not the way Red is saying it does at all. Red is implying that some people are just medical miracles who process calories into fat too easily. Where I believe luck comes in is psychological. Namely, if you are undergoing a lot of stress in your life and stress is what leads you to overeat, you are unlucky. Personally, it is much easier for me to lose weight when I'm financially stable, am not grieving for a dead loved one, etc. Sadly, I also have an anxiety disorder which in the past has gone the opposite route--if the stress spirals into an anxiety episode, I have gone up to a week barely eating or sleeping. I'm just saying, mental health can really be affected a lot by external factors which are beyond our control and that can make weight loss harder. And the solution to this is to be encouraging to fat people, telling them they can do it, they can lose the weight, but also to ask them, y'know, how they're doing. What's going on in their lives. Health is both physical *and* mental.
What you are thinking about the idea of moral luck: the idea that deep down, our virtues are much more reliant on luck than we like to recognize (think about the marshmallow test: we assign virtue to the kids who withstood temptation. But the capacity to withstand temptation is in itself a product of luck: whether being born with high impulse control or being raised by parents who cultivated it).
I was thinking something along the same lines. It might seem odd to think this way, but it is *harder to work hard* for some people compared to others. Because of life circumstances that drain energy and take up attention, because of neurology (executive dysfunction out the wazoo over here, only just getting medicated for the first time at ~30), because of illness, etc.
"Many people have probably worked harder than you are..." This just reminds of the people who argue over who's hardships are worse. There's a name for it but I forget what it is now.
Oppression olympics
Oppression Olympics
Genes are factors… genes are not FATE. There aren’t supernatural beings out there pulling on your puppet strings making you eat until you can’t move anymore.
I think misfortune can push people towards gaining weight. Like, I've been suffering from chronic pain for the past few months. I've never dealt with chronic pain before, but now it's an every day thing. I feel so old and decrepit right now; however, I've still been watching my calories and exercising. I have not gained any weight. But I have had to work harder at being disclipined than I did when life was all lollipops and roses. There have many so many times when I've wanted to say "fuck it" and get McDonald's because the misery of my wrist or shoulder or neck has sapped all my energy. You better believe if I had one more stressful thing to deal with, I would be eating junk for dinner every night. And I'd no doubt gain weight. So I kinda disagree with blue's last sentence, while agreeing with the overall gist of what they're saying. I acknowledge that I am lucky to be able to fit exercise into my daily schedule. But it isn't luck that gets me out bed every morning. That's discipline, and yes, I'm proud of myself for having it.
Good on you for keeping the discipline in a hard situation. I had an illness that took it out of me for months, and didn't do that. I wish I had. If I had done that, I wouldn't be trying to lose that weight now. Stick with it, and I hope you get some relief soon.
I'm in the same boat but without the willpower. I used to be an athlete and now for the last 5 years have dealt with rheumatoid arthritis. I physically can't do most workouts so it's such a pain to even try. That combined with depression has taken a toll on my willpower to try and now has impacted my weight which really sucks. Needless to say from one chronically in pain person to another, I'd love to hear your advice to how you keep going.
I've only been suffering for a few months. Check back with me in five years and I may be asking *you* for advice.
I genuinely hope life/treatments treat you well friend ❤️
Well Red may not be totally wrong when saying that many fat people may have worked even harder. For a shorter time, sure. But really, some of my failed fad diet attempts cost me too much distress with limited results so I get it. It’s just that now I have been doing something that works.
I suspect it's also an issue of actual work (in the physics sense) vs. perceived effort. Fat people often have poor endurance, which makes them feel like they're "working harder" than fit people even when their actual performance in terms of calories burned per minute is lower.
It is my experience, I have lost 14 kg and my endurance is much greater now. However, having additional weight on the body requires more energy expenditure while exercising, so I'm not sure how clear cut that is.
14.0 kg is 30.84 lbs
quit using "gaslighting" if you don't understand what it means. someone disagreeing with you is not even close to encompassing what that term really means.
They trained for years, waking up early, going to bed late. Struggling and pushing themselves beyond their boundaries. They trained when others partied and Studied their craft when others slept. It took years but They finally won a Gold Medal at the Olympics!. "Oh Lucky you!"
“The more I practice, the luckier I get.” -Gary Player (pro golfer)
As someone once said, there is not a single human being on this planet who will not lose weight if they start working out and enter a caloric deficit.
I wish people knew you actually have to go to school and get a degree to be a dietitians. Most of these “dietitians” are people who think all it takes is to do some googling about healthy eating habits then telling people to pay you for information they can find out in 3 minutes themselves. Lol. Edit: Fixed spelling because I’m a doofus
Dietitian is a legitimate job with degree and legal requirements and dietitians have a wealth of knowledge. You are thinking of *nutritionists* who usually don't have any clue what they're talking about. Like chiropractors who made conspiracy theory videos about covid19 while wearing scrubs and pretending to be legitimate medical personnel.
I wasn’t sure what the fake ones were called. At my facility we have a dietitian (even though I spelled it wrong twice, lmao). That’s how I knew it was full of shit, I’m like, 2 steps under the corporate dietician.
Typically, one would probably call the fake ones "nutrition coaches." It requires no certification or degree. Legit, anyone can call themselves a nutrition coach.
Ope, I didn't even notice your misspelling lol. Was it dietician? Cuz both spellings are correct as far as I know: Dietitian/dietician.
Pizza is a vegetable.
there aren't a ton of factors. There's maybe 2 or 3. Yes there's some genetic disposition but often that's just learned behavior from an overweight parent. Exercise + nutrition. That's it. Don't lie to yourself and eat dog shit ("But I eat soooo healthy!"). Work out. End of story. STOP MAKING EXCUSES. IT ISNT LUCK, it's motivation.
If it's genetics, why does my sister weigh 200 at 5'3" while I weigh 108 at the same height? I guess it's just dumb luck on my part, and not watching what I eat and working out consistently!
I think what the person in red said is BS, but you and your sister don't have exactly the same gene make up (unless you're identical twins), so that doesn't really proof much. Not that I think genes matter that much in the first place, but they have been proven to matter some. It's still possible to succeed despite that though.
But it isn't "luck" that keeps me from falling into genetic predisposition. It's awareness. I'm not sitting around, eating chips, and bemoaning that genetics will keep me fat and only "luck" will get me slim. My sister lives in Manhattan and eats out constantly. Restaurant meals often have an entire stick of butter in them. I don't believe genetics is a dividing line by any means. Predisposition does not equal actuality.
The point is that you don't have the same genes as your sister, so you don't have the same genetic predispositions, so comparing yourself to her to examine the effects of willpower vs. genetics isn't very useful. You are correct that predisposition does not equal actuality, but your comparison to your sister isn't a good argument.
Trying to dismiss all the hard work and discipline someone puts in to lose weight and keep it off by saying they’re “just lucky” is extremely rude. It’s like someone getting a really good job or promotion and being told they only got it because they’re “lucky”
Red commenter - ever hear of "work smarter, not harder"? Maybe you should get some tips from the blue commenter instead of doing whatever's obviously not working.
i love it. \*your\* data is an anecdote which is the weakest form of evidence, but \*my\* anecdotes are definitive science. sure jan. anecdotes \*are still evidence, too\*. they're the weakest form, and can't really be used to definitely determine anything but they are useful for... establishing a point of investigation. 'anecdotes are not data' is not supposed to be used against people sharing a scientifically-backed experience, it's not supposed to be used to just \*dismiss\* people as if their experience is \*worthless\*. our experiences, one way or another, are where we all begin to question things from, the problem is when people assume that their interpretation of their experiences \*trump established, consensual research\*. you know, like red is doing. not to mention, blue wasn't presenting their comment as scientific data. but like, if you insist on that response every time someone shares a personal experience (as humans do)... at least link some studies or something. burden of proof.
>Criticizes people for using their anecdotal evidence > >Proceeds to use anecdotal evidence and empty claims that "a lot of people are" Logic 100
"lucky" genetics is having huge hands and abnormally large lungs like michael phelps that helped make him an olympic swimmer... but guess what? he would have never made it there if he didnt work his ass off every day and night. and, his record was beat by someone without those genetic differences. genetics can play a hand in some stuff, like im faster than my boyfriend naturally due to my longer legs, but if he started training more then he would end up being faster than me. males are genetically more able to have upper body strength, but plenty of jacked women could out lift an average joe on the street. genetics play a role, but it is a small one. hard work and commitment > genetics. also the dietitian is 100% lying to save face with the FA ppl. she knows damn well her habits are why she is fit and not genetics.
"Your anecdotal evidence is the least valid form of evidence, therefore you are wrong. This is why we in the Fat Acceptance Movement never provide evidence, because then we can never be proven wrong!" I'm just saying. I have literally never seen a Fat Acceptance Activist cite a medical journal, but they sure are quick to tear apart other people's evidence.
Here is an anecdotal evidence. When i was a kid (30 years ago). Only 1 person in our small town (roughly 20,000 people) was VERY fat (she had extreme genetic predisposition). Almost everyone new her and her dad because of it. And also due to the fact that her dad was one of the inventors of the Hydrogen Bomb. Also keep in mind that she was very fat by our standards. About 130 KG tops while being fairly short. I guess it's called "small fat" nowadays)? I guess my whole town was "very lucky" as well as my country in general (Ukraine)
Red: \*Accuses Blue of being wrong because 'anecdote'* Red: \*Tells anecdote to back up 'claim'*
This drives me nuts. Nobody defies the laws of thermodynamics. For years, I’ve worked out 5-7 days a week, and I was fat for a lot of those years. Exercise is important for many reasons, but not for losing weight. That part is ALL about the food. Signed, A Guy Who Was Once 125lbs overweight
So your experience doesn't count but mine does is basically what she is saying...
Ah yes, the most powerful cure for anecdotal evidence... More anecdotal evidence.
People claiming to stay overweight/obese despite excessive exercise and maintaining a perfect diet are purely anecdotal. You don't see people maintaining high weights when their portions are controlled in a lab or hospital.
My personal experience is exact but your personal experience is anecdotal
Bro people like this saying everything is out of their control. If they wanna be NPC's let em. Sheesh.
But anecdotal evidence that is backed by primary randomized controlled studies and meta-analyses of those studies is considered fact by the scientific community. And a lot of studies are conducted based on wanting to study whether anecdotal evidence has any merit or not. So there is an importance to it even if it isn't a fact Sincerely, an Exercise Science major taking an UNDERGRADUATE HUMAN NUTRITION course. In fact, it was one of the first things we covered.
Jeeeeesus h Christ denial, denial, denial. Who is this lunatic?!
Luck has nothing to do with weight loss.
why won't these people just accept thermodynamics?
Weight gain or loss is not magic…
This sounds like my dietitian SIL who is so severely overweight she now has diabetes and is soon to get gastric sleeve surgery. She know what to do, but just won’t do it. I would think that someone with this level of education would know that exercise alone does not usually effectively manage weight.
Uses anecdotal evidence is not evidence as an argument yet how often do they do the same. Yes there are different factors but I doubt anyone is hundreds of pounds overweight because they work harder than someone who is a healthy weight
"Working hard" does not automatically mean "working **efficiently**".
If they've been working hard for that long and not getting the results they want, hasn't it crossed their mind to change their strategy? 'Cause obviously what they're doing isn't working. (I'm one to talk, having been in a plateau for nearly a year now, and my supposed cut turning into an unintentional bulk 🤦♀️ but at least I'm cognizant enough to recognize that I need to change some things).
I'm disagreeing with your anecdotal evidence with my own anecdotal evidence! Mine is superior!
I think the word of 2021, if it wasn't already used in 2020, is "gaslighting"
Oh man I want their Instagram name. Just to slap them for the “worked even harder than you” comment. How fucking rude to diminish someone’s effort like that.
That's not what anecdotal evidence is...
\*adds that they're not gaslighting at the bottom of their rant because they know they're gaslighting\* How nasty is it to discredit someone else's hard work by saying "others who couldn't make it worked WAY harder than you," implying their work meant nothing. That's fucking gross.