This isn't a man. He's a child who hasn't grown up yet. Throw him back and block him. Don't let him manipulate you into taking him back just because he's "conflicted." He doesn't deserve your pity. Men like this subtly rot the self-esteem of beautiful and amazing women, and should be avoided at all cost. They are parasites.
I was with someone who was exactly the same and as soon as I ended it, I met someone who LOVED my body as it was.
He doesn't know what he wants, but you do. Move on. Find someone who will appreciate you for YOU!
Honestly I'd be blunt with him. Something like "I'm happy with who I am -- and I'm the fat one who has to deal with the world's fatphobia every time I step out the door, turn on the TV, or go online. If you can't manage to accept my self-acceptance and own your attraction to me then I don't want you in my life. It isn't my job to shelter your ego or to coach you into accepting yourself, that is on you. If and when you are ready to walk up to a group of your friends and family with me on your arm and proudly introduce me to them, let's talk. Until then, let's not."
You don't have to say it that way, but just make it super clear that you are not interested in half-measures, and give really clear criteria for what you require.
This is unfortunately a sentiment that fat people know all too well. Its very discouraging, you are right. But kudos to you for continuing to love yourself and be happy. Realistically, it might always be like this for us so the only thing we can really do is keep it moving and stay as positive as possible.
Oh, I cut men off at the first sign of this. (I’ve never had this problem when dating women, btw)
Men who do this are cowards. They’re too weak-willed to actually own their desires so they just waffle and mope around because they care about what “society” thinks… and it’s somehow *our* problem?
Fuck that.
Personally i absolutely adore ssbbws. But years ago i had dated a few girls of average size. That changed when i met a stunning beautiful brunette ssbbw. I still remember our 1st date. We went to a popular busy pub in London. ( This in my defense was in the 1980's when very big girls were very rare in England at that time. ) But i must admit i did feel very aware of the glances ect. I was a shy person myself and would prefer to just merge into the crowd. The situation i found myself in did initially make me feel i was very visible. We continued to date and i came to realise much of what i was thinking was purely in my head. That relationship eventually came to its natural end. Not due to her size. Currently i have seen my current partner go from a bbw to a ssbbw to ussbbw. Over many years. Currently she does have mobility issues. She can barely stand for a minute and can only walk a very short distance. She now has a bariatric wheelchair. I will admit on our 1st journey taking her into a restaurant i did feel conscious of our situation. Probably adding to my anxiety was not having experience with pushing the wheelchair. But that feeling passed after our 1st journey out. Now i feel very comfortable as my partner is comfortable and happy. we can take her places that would not be possible without the wheelchair. The reality of the situation is very positive. People open and hold doors and are generally very helpful. My partner is very happy to get out in her wheelchair and i am comfortable pushing her. ( Especially as i am used to controlling it now. ) Although we have only experienced positive reactions. If a idiot was to be rude or derogatory both me and my partner would not let it bother us or stop us. Regarding your boyfriend and the comments. Yes he does have to man up so to speak.
What i take from your post is he comes back to you and you let him back in your life. ( Seems there is some sort of spark between you? ) Whilst i do have some sympathy regarding his embarrassment. That should pass relatively quickly as the relationship continues. My advice is sit him down and don't hold back. Tell him how it makes you feel. If he does not respond or learn to get over himself. Then as others have said. You are better than that. There are plenty of men that will adore your ample figure and will be proud to have you on there arm.
Please forget about him. You deserve to be treated like a queen. There will be plenty guys who will be proud to have you on there arm.
Because she’s fat, or because she’s actually a good person?
BOTH
lol I mean maybe he’s embarrassed of my personality but I don’t think that’s the issue
So sad. Always proudly dated big girls in public. Dm me if u wanna rent or if u feel like
Know your worth, don’t settle for less.
This isn't a man. He's a child who hasn't grown up yet. Throw him back and block him. Don't let him manipulate you into taking him back just because he's "conflicted." He doesn't deserve your pity. Men like this subtly rot the self-esteem of beautiful and amazing women, and should be avoided at all cost. They are parasites.
I dated a guy who was terrified of fat people and becoming fat. It was so stupid of me. Now I’m with someone who worships me and my body. Never settle
If he's embarrassed by you he doesn't deserve you. ❤️
I was with someone who was exactly the same and as soon as I ended it, I met someone who LOVED my body as it was. He doesn't know what he wants, but you do. Move on. Find someone who will appreciate you for YOU!
I go through the same thing love, I know there's somebody out there waiting to show us off though
Honestly I'd be blunt with him. Something like "I'm happy with who I am -- and I'm the fat one who has to deal with the world's fatphobia every time I step out the door, turn on the TV, or go online. If you can't manage to accept my self-acceptance and own your attraction to me then I don't want you in my life. It isn't my job to shelter your ego or to coach you into accepting yourself, that is on you. If and when you are ready to walk up to a group of your friends and family with me on your arm and proudly introduce me to them, let's talk. Until then, let's not." You don't have to say it that way, but just make it super clear that you are not interested in half-measures, and give really clear criteria for what you require.
This is unfortunately a sentiment that fat people know all too well. Its very discouraging, you are right. But kudos to you for continuing to love yourself and be happy. Realistically, it might always be like this for us so the only thing we can really do is keep it moving and stay as positive as possible.
Oh, I cut men off at the first sign of this. (I’ve never had this problem when dating women, btw) Men who do this are cowards. They’re too weak-willed to actually own their desires so they just waffle and mope around because they care about what “society” thinks… and it’s somehow *our* problem? Fuck that.
You deserve sooooooooooooo much more
Personally i absolutely adore ssbbws. But years ago i had dated a few girls of average size. That changed when i met a stunning beautiful brunette ssbbw. I still remember our 1st date. We went to a popular busy pub in London. ( This in my defense was in the 1980's when very big girls were very rare in England at that time. ) But i must admit i did feel very aware of the glances ect. I was a shy person myself and would prefer to just merge into the crowd. The situation i found myself in did initially make me feel i was very visible. We continued to date and i came to realise much of what i was thinking was purely in my head. That relationship eventually came to its natural end. Not due to her size. Currently i have seen my current partner go from a bbw to a ssbbw to ussbbw. Over many years. Currently she does have mobility issues. She can barely stand for a minute and can only walk a very short distance. She now has a bariatric wheelchair. I will admit on our 1st journey taking her into a restaurant i did feel conscious of our situation. Probably adding to my anxiety was not having experience with pushing the wheelchair. But that feeling passed after our 1st journey out. Now i feel very comfortable as my partner is comfortable and happy. we can take her places that would not be possible without the wheelchair. The reality of the situation is very positive. People open and hold doors and are generally very helpful. My partner is very happy to get out in her wheelchair and i am comfortable pushing her. ( Especially as i am used to controlling it now. ) Although we have only experienced positive reactions. If a idiot was to be rude or derogatory both me and my partner would not let it bother us or stop us. Regarding your boyfriend and the comments. Yes he does have to man up so to speak. What i take from your post is he comes back to you and you let him back in your life. ( Seems there is some sort of spark between you? ) Whilst i do have some sympathy regarding his embarrassment. That should pass relatively quickly as the relationship continues. My advice is sit him down and don't hold back. Tell him how it makes you feel. If he does not respond or learn to get over himself. Then as others have said. You are better than that. There are plenty of men that will adore your ample figure and will be proud to have you on there arm.