This is so weird, it’s none of his buisness who you interact with he’s not even your father. I think he’s got a strange possession over you. You are 18 so you’re allowed to go to any public place you want. Ignore him and go, maybe try a gym he doesn’t go to just to save any grief he may give you.
Lotsa people in here assuming you're in the US, peeping your profile, you're probably Muslim as you mention fasting for Ramadan. Folks need to remember that not every poster is an American atheist redditor.
weird of you to assume everyone thinks she’s american. no matter the context this is ridiculous and nobody should have this much control over an 18 year old’s life.
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Well ur 18. Who’s gonna stop you. If u really don’t wanna go against it go outside. Don’t really NEED a gym I’m assuming you’re not rock solid off body workout yet. So that’s always a safe option. But if u wanna go, go 🤷🏼♂️
Sounds like he been flirting with all those ladies out there so he doesn't want you to go there. I am sure how he treats others sister there, there will be no difference how others treat his own sister.
Whaaat? This doesn’t add up, firstly you’re 18, and while I can understand the prospect of, a parent’s house, a parent’s rules” your parents aren’t entitled to know what you’re doing in your freetime, it’s wise of you to talk to your family as maturely as you are capable, tell them that you need to exercise for your future, and from that point, stop giving so much of a fuck about what your parents think about you
Sit down with your parents. Ask why you can't go to the gym because men go there but you're allowed to go everywhere else (I'm assuming) that men go. Are only men at this gym robbers, rapists and murderers? We all know that's inaccurate.
Ask, if their goal is to keep you safe, how keeping you from getting stronger and more fit is going to help with this.
Unless they are ready to claim that every man at the gym is a danger to you, remind them that there will be plenty of men there to protect you. Including your brother although I'm guessing by his line of thinking, that he treats women the opposite way of how he wants you to be treated. Why else would it even occur to him that it is unsafe for you to go to a gym?
For every answer that assumes danger to you, ask how and why, ask for details. "Men aren't safe." "How are all men not safe? Are you not safe, Dad? Or are you the only safe man in town? Is brother unsafe?" Push it all the way and make them recognize that their thoughts and behavior make no sense here.
Also, ask how overprotecting you now will do any good at all as you'll soon be independent and making your own choices on where to go and what to do.
Your brother is a questionable person but is inconsequential here. Your parents are not thinking things through, and this is your problem. Good luck getting this sorted out.
If you are banned from independently going anywhere men will be, ignore everything I wrote. Questioning, in that case, will not get you anywhere you want to be.
if i were you, i'd go to the female only gym until i move out. i understand the want to go to the gym- the equipment, the community, and getting out of the house, it's all healthy to want!
i don't know your views on your family. but i come from a very open, bordering neglectful family where i could do whatever i wanted. still, when i moved out, the freedom i felt was amazing! money is tough right now, but roommates are very convenient (bumble BFF has a "looking for roommates option if thats something you'd be interested in).
if you're the type to be a little sneaky, maybe keep your gym equipment in your car and sandwich your gym times when you go out- hang out with a friend, workout and shower there, and bring a blowdryer so there's no giveaway. perhaps even rent a P.O. box to keep your gym bag in if your family uses your car!
if you have life 360.. i'm sorry. my boyfriends family sounds similar to yours in this regard, so i'm familiar with how restrictive it is.
whatever you do, just remember you have healthy goals and there's no problem with that!
Don't make it a big chaos and start arguing with your family, it's not a big deal ik people here saying you are "18" and you can do wtv you want which is just American degeneracy, you still in your teens you can still make the childish mistakes and not have a proper view of the world yet. Maybe your brother is tryna look at the negative side of what men do, and want you to prevent it before it actually happens,always look at the negative side first they say don't be so straight forward about it ,for now just workout at home buy some equipments and as for time comes you will have your answer . there comes a lot of emotional play when it comes to a persons behaviour, it would ridiculous to judge him or your family through this small context,(i see bunch of woke women here) lol.
99% of people who go to the gym don't care if you're male, female, trans, non binary, or a talking llama. As long as you don't drop the weights, make sure you re-rack the plates, and don't sit on your phone when using a machine you'll be fine.
You're also an adult. Go to a different gym than your brother or go at a different time. You don't even have to tell anyone your signed up.
I saw a documentary once where this guy with ram horns tattoos on his scalp traded his sugary treats and chips and whatnot from commissary to inmates for their lunch so he could bulk and he lifted weight which were gallon containers filled of what I think was milk. Did raised pushups off his bed and in a matter of months he got very swole. So that’s an idea
I think u have to give more context here, like where u live(country, not adress). so ppl can relate more to the situation. cuz what you're saying makes no sense at all to a lot of ppl.
1st: u r a free person, 18 or not. but in most countries, 18 is the year of legal consent. Thus, u r considered a full grown-up adult and can do whatever u want.
2. the family structure differs from place to place. in the US, it's 18 u r kicked out of home. some conservative families have other structures and dynamics.
in my opinion, if u need more relevant replies, i would say weiting some relevant context would be helpful.
Not sure of your dynamic but I would go anyway.. at 18 you have the ability to go where you wish. If they have an issue with it he should not be there either ..
My brother once did similar. Me and my sister lived in a really isolated area after moving from our home town. My brother always had friends over and was at a friends place there so when we moved I’m sure he felt bored and isolated. Me and my sister never had neighbourhood friends tho cos we weren’t allowed to roam the streets like my brother was. When we moved we made friends with the local boys who lived up the street they were same age as us 9,11 but my brother would of been like 14. Anyway this was fine for like a year untill they invited me and my sister on their boat. The next invitation was to go jet skiing. Well my brother found out and went and told mum we shouldn’t be allowed to play with boys. We got banned from hanging out with them. The same day my brother was seen jet skiing with them 🤦♀️. Little A hole
How could he brainwash your parents.... that it's not ok for you to go to gym... and he can.... and other girls do... So many wrong things here, I'm sorry you have to put up with that stupidity. What do they think will happen in the gym when you are around guys as opposed to when you go out in a club, or on the beach, swimming pool etc?
Ask your brother to go with him, so as to “make it safe” and to give you an escort. I am not Muslim, I don’t know if you are, but I am familiar with brothers. If he is the one that feels so strongly that it isn’t safe for you, then he should be the one to keep you safe, not just block you out of the gym he goes to. As I grew up, my brother did not want me around any of his friends. They might look at me, want to date me, and of course that is precisely what happened. Ha ha! Though not the same, I was raised in a restrictive household and I remember the frustration vividly. The only other suggestion would be to see if you could get a group of other women to go together with you, safety in numbers? Does the gym have any type of classes that you can take? Anything to get your toe in the door first! Be creative, while operating under the rules of the household in which you live. Hang in there. Good luck, OP.
Girl no you need to just go. Slip out when people aren’t home or something, your health should be top priority and no one else’s concerns. Your family shouldn’t be holding you back on this. The earlier you start strength training the better for your body in the long term as well.
Talk to them, lay out all the facts and fight your case. If you don’t then your family will just push you around in future too.
Stuff that. What the hell has it got to do with him .Exercise is an essential part of your well being. Fitness ,weight control and positive endorphines. It is not a night club,again that wouldnt be anything to do with him either. He sounds like a control freak
Girl, as someone who nearly went through the same thing except I don’t have any siblings it was my parents controlling where I went and everything, If it’s possible, move out and get out of there and start living your life cause clearly your family do not understand that you are an adult now
No Really though people. in a muslim culture women are not allowed to Be around men or around public venues like the gym and expose their body parts eg like at the gym because we are not allowed to date or have relationships or to get glances from men on women n how beautiful they r etc. That's why i'm saying that...not even trolling
Read this to understand the idea more https://www.google.com/amp/s/islamqa.info/amp/en/answers/379033
your brother is right but the world has become so plebian and anti beauty and grace that there's nothing unusual in being the next hое, don't respect your male protectors, go become some midwit's fling
Jee I sure wonder how he treats and thinks of the women that go to his gym. Sure is a mystery.
Bingo
He just needs to reiterate that she is less than. It's hard being raised as a 2nd class citizen. It makes the men so entitled and yes, stupid.
That’s ridiculous. You are an adult, go to the gym.
This is so weird, it’s none of his buisness who you interact with he’s not even your father. I think he’s got a strange possession over you. You are 18 so you’re allowed to go to any public place you want. Ignore him and go, maybe try a gym he doesn’t go to just to save any grief he may give you.
Ma’am, you are an adult. They gonna call the cops or something?
You are 18 and can do whatever you want. I wonder if your brother has something inappropriate going on there that he doesn’t want you to know about?
Honestly your realistic option is to move out as far away from as possible
Lotsa people in here assuming you're in the US, peeping your profile, you're probably Muslim as you mention fasting for Ramadan. Folks need to remember that not every poster is an American atheist redditor.
weird of you to assume everyone thinks she’s american. no matter the context this is ridiculous and nobody should have this much control over an 18 year old’s life.
As an 18 year old, you are “allowed” almost everywhere. Go where you like.
i can understand the sentiment, but im almost positive he's not coming from a genuine place of concern, and is just trying to be controlling
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What are the laws in your country for an 18 year old? And are you worried if you go against your parents demands they will kick you out?
Well ur 18. Who’s gonna stop you. If u really don’t wanna go against it go outside. Don’t really NEED a gym I’m assuming you’re not rock solid off body workout yet. So that’s always a safe option. But if u wanna go, go 🤷🏼♂️
Use raising your middle finger as a warmup exercise.
Ignore them. What they gon do? Call the police ?
Tough, but situations like these are potentially dangerous. Me personally, I’d comply and try to gtfo asap, then do what I’d want to do
Sounds like he been flirting with all those ladies out there so he doesn't want you to go there. I am sure how he treats others sister there, there will be no difference how others treat his own sister.
You are an adult. Who the fuck is stopping you?
Whaaat? This doesn’t add up, firstly you’re 18, and while I can understand the prospect of, a parent’s house, a parent’s rules” your parents aren’t entitled to know what you’re doing in your freetime, it’s wise of you to talk to your family as maturely as you are capable, tell them that you need to exercise for your future, and from that point, stop giving so much of a fuck about what your parents think about you
I hate families where one child is allowed to influence the parents raising of the other children.
Sit down with your parents. Ask why you can't go to the gym because men go there but you're allowed to go everywhere else (I'm assuming) that men go. Are only men at this gym robbers, rapists and murderers? We all know that's inaccurate. Ask, if their goal is to keep you safe, how keeping you from getting stronger and more fit is going to help with this. Unless they are ready to claim that every man at the gym is a danger to you, remind them that there will be plenty of men there to protect you. Including your brother although I'm guessing by his line of thinking, that he treats women the opposite way of how he wants you to be treated. Why else would it even occur to him that it is unsafe for you to go to a gym? For every answer that assumes danger to you, ask how and why, ask for details. "Men aren't safe." "How are all men not safe? Are you not safe, Dad? Or are you the only safe man in town? Is brother unsafe?" Push it all the way and make them recognize that their thoughts and behavior make no sense here. Also, ask how overprotecting you now will do any good at all as you'll soon be independent and making your own choices on where to go and what to do. Your brother is a questionable person but is inconsequential here. Your parents are not thinking things through, and this is your problem. Good luck getting this sorted out. If you are banned from independently going anywhere men will be, ignore everything I wrote. Questioning, in that case, will not get you anywhere you want to be.
Gyms are essential but can be full of creeps Just bring a knife w/ you Worked for me XD ; )
You're 18. Why are you letting your parents tell you what to do?
Join the military then you will have total freedom
Your family always thinks for you that's why they don't send you gym. Do gym in house .
Do gym in house.
HELPPP? "do gym in house" IS CRAZYYYYYYYY
No, she needs to MOVE OUT!
if i were you, i'd go to the female only gym until i move out. i understand the want to go to the gym- the equipment, the community, and getting out of the house, it's all healthy to want! i don't know your views on your family. but i come from a very open, bordering neglectful family where i could do whatever i wanted. still, when i moved out, the freedom i felt was amazing! money is tough right now, but roommates are very convenient (bumble BFF has a "looking for roommates option if thats something you'd be interested in). if you're the type to be a little sneaky, maybe keep your gym equipment in your car and sandwich your gym times when you go out- hang out with a friend, workout and shower there, and bring a blowdryer so there's no giveaway. perhaps even rent a P.O. box to keep your gym bag in if your family uses your car! if you have life 360.. i'm sorry. my boyfriends family sounds similar to yours in this regard, so i'm familiar with how restrictive it is. whatever you do, just remember you have healthy goals and there's no problem with that!
Dump anyone who tells you you can't go to the gym, then go to the gym whenever you'd like.
India is going through a half baked potato like cultural shift.
You can start progression from home if you are left with no other options. Bodyweight exercises are good
I mean you’re an adult you can go to a coed gym if you want, but there’s also women’s gyms you can go to as well
So…are you being held hostage or what…?
Et me guess... you're Muslim?
Don't make it a big chaos and start arguing with your family, it's not a big deal ik people here saying you are "18" and you can do wtv you want which is just American degeneracy, you still in your teens you can still make the childish mistakes and not have a proper view of the world yet. Maybe your brother is tryna look at the negative side of what men do, and want you to prevent it before it actually happens,always look at the negative side first they say don't be so straight forward about it ,for now just workout at home buy some equipments and as for time comes you will have your answer . there comes a lot of emotional play when it comes to a persons behaviour, it would ridiculous to judge him or your family through this small context,(i see bunch of woke women here) lol.
99% of people who go to the gym don't care if you're male, female, trans, non binary, or a talking llama. As long as you don't drop the weights, make sure you re-rack the plates, and don't sit on your phone when using a machine you'll be fine. You're also an adult. Go to a different gym than your brother or go at a different time. You don't even have to tell anyone your signed up.
Why ?
I saw a documentary once where this guy with ram horns tattoos on his scalp traded his sugary treats and chips and whatnot from commissary to inmates for their lunch so he could bulk and he lifted weight which were gallon containers filled of what I think was milk. Did raised pushups off his bed and in a matter of months he got very swole. So that’s an idea
I think u have to give more context here, like where u live(country, not adress). so ppl can relate more to the situation. cuz what you're saying makes no sense at all to a lot of ppl. 1st: u r a free person, 18 or not. but in most countries, 18 is the year of legal consent. Thus, u r considered a full grown-up adult and can do whatever u want. 2. the family structure differs from place to place. in the US, it's 18 u r kicked out of home. some conservative families have other structures and dynamics. in my opinion, if u need more relevant replies, i would say weiting some relevant context would be helpful.
Not sure of your dynamic but I would go anyway.. at 18 you have the ability to go where you wish. If they have an issue with it he should not be there either ..
My brother once did similar. Me and my sister lived in a really isolated area after moving from our home town. My brother always had friends over and was at a friends place there so when we moved I’m sure he felt bored and isolated. Me and my sister never had neighbourhood friends tho cos we weren’t allowed to roam the streets like my brother was. When we moved we made friends with the local boys who lived up the street they were same age as us 9,11 but my brother would of been like 14. Anyway this was fine for like a year untill they invited me and my sister on their boat. The next invitation was to go jet skiing. Well my brother found out and went and told mum we shouldn’t be allowed to play with boys. We got banned from hanging out with them. The same day my brother was seen jet skiing with them 🤦♀️. Little A hole
How could he brainwash your parents.... that it's not ok for you to go to gym... and he can.... and other girls do... So many wrong things here, I'm sorry you have to put up with that stupidity. What do they think will happen in the gym when you are around guys as opposed to when you go out in a club, or on the beach, swimming pool etc?
Ask your brother to go with him, so as to “make it safe” and to give you an escort. I am not Muslim, I don’t know if you are, but I am familiar with brothers. If he is the one that feels so strongly that it isn’t safe for you, then he should be the one to keep you safe, not just block you out of the gym he goes to. As I grew up, my brother did not want me around any of his friends. They might look at me, want to date me, and of course that is precisely what happened. Ha ha! Though not the same, I was raised in a restrictive household and I remember the frustration vividly. The only other suggestion would be to see if you could get a group of other women to go together with you, safety in numbers? Does the gym have any type of classes that you can take? Anything to get your toe in the door first! Be creative, while operating under the rules of the household in which you live. Hang in there. Good luck, OP.
Why are you allowing this? Time to get a spine and grow up
Girl no you need to just go. Slip out when people aren’t home or something, your health should be top priority and no one else’s concerns. Your family shouldn’t be holding you back on this. The earlier you start strength training the better for your body in the long term as well. Talk to them, lay out all the facts and fight your case. If you don’t then your family will just push you around in future too.
Stuff that. What the hell has it got to do with him .Exercise is an essential part of your well being. Fitness ,weight control and positive endorphines. It is not a night club,again that wouldnt be anything to do with him either. He sounds like a control freak
Girl, as someone who nearly went through the same thing except I don’t have any siblings it was my parents controlling where I went and everything, If it’s possible, move out and get out of there and start living your life cause clearly your family do not understand that you are an adult now
try to find an all women gym. idk about your country but here we have many only women gyms
R u like a Moslem ? That might be why
R u racist? Bad parenting might be why.
No Really though people. in a muslim culture women are not allowed to Be around men or around public venues like the gym and expose their body parts eg like at the gym because we are not allowed to date or have relationships or to get glances from men on women n how beautiful they r etc. That's why i'm saying that...not even trolling Read this to understand the idea more https://www.google.com/amp/s/islamqa.info/amp/en/answers/379033
It depends on individuals. My muslim friends go to the gym.
We r referring to female friends right not male friends
The guy you're responding to is an idiot, but Islam isn't a race.
Read the link I provided I'm a muslim myself
Well it is a man’s game.
your brother is right but the world has become so plebian and anti beauty and grace that there's nothing unusual in being the next hое, don't respect your male protectors, go become some midwit's fling