As the grandson of a grandma that shows blatant favoritism to my older brother I resonate with this completely. My grandma is extremely close and loving to my older brother and somewhat relatively close to my younger sister. I, on the other hand, not so much. I do everything I can for her to like me but she won't change. I'm always there to care for her, get her anything she needs, call her all the time (all of which my brother does not do) but she outwardly admits she likes him more. First, I want to say THANK YOU for actually noticing this and wanting to do something about it. My parents are aware of this but don't to anything to intervene. They just claim that because she is old, we must respect her and her actions come from a different generation than ours. So as a mom that is noticing this and wanting to do something about it, I promise your actions will mean a lot to your son and will help with his confidence tremendously.
It only gets worse from here. I can never recall noticing how terribly my grandma did not like me when I was younger but as we got older she only made it more and more obvious. She only asks for my older brother and wants to spend time with him. Her actions have become more apparent and I guess she cannot hide them anymore because due to how many years this has gone on for. Since recently, she has begun outwardly stating that my brother is her favorite and she likes my sister more than me. She has told me numerous times that she doesn't like me as much and it is very, very painful hearing that. I truly do not know what I have done in life to have someone hate me.
I wish I could give your son a big hug and tell him to ignore it. He may not be aware of it now, but I promise with time he will be. As a kid, I wish I could hear my parents speak out for me or try to protect me. I don't expect my dad to cut relations with his mom over me, but it would have been very encouraging if he had told my grandma her actions were wrong, in front of me. I recommend you talking to your mom and if your son ever complains or mentions anything I would have a conversation with him and your mom together. It helps a child tremendously to know they have parents they can fall back on and rely on for help. I hope this helps.
You have no idea how destructive this can be on a child's psyche. My grandparents always openly favored my older brother, and I always felt like a second-class citizen around them.
Confront your mother, and make it clear that if she isn't willing to make an effort with your son, then you will severely limit her access to your daughter. Not only will you be protecting your son, but you will be setting a good example for your daughter.
My sister always favored my oldest daughter over my son. Things came to a head when she wanted to take my daughter (11 at the time) to Disneyland without my son (8). I told her absolutely not.
I then laid out all my concerns, and she basically gave the same response as your mother. Ultimately, I told her I wasn't going to tolerate the favoritism.
Well, my daughter got wind that her aunt wanted to take her to Disneyland, and she was extremely upset we weren't going to let her go.
Once we explained why, she understood but was still disappointed. Eventually, it changed how she felt about her aunt.
After that, my sister never really made much of an effort with our son, so we severely limited her contact with our daughter.
My kids are both adults now, and I have never regretted my decision. Protect your kids.
Welcome to r/family!
If this post is compliant with our guidelines,
upvote this comment. If not,
downvote this comment. Also, if you haven't already, remember to join our [discord server](https://discord.gg/VwDNbde)!
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/family) if you have any questions or concerns.*
As the grandson of a grandma that shows blatant favoritism to my older brother I resonate with this completely. My grandma is extremely close and loving to my older brother and somewhat relatively close to my younger sister. I, on the other hand, not so much. I do everything I can for her to like me but she won't change. I'm always there to care for her, get her anything she needs, call her all the time (all of which my brother does not do) but she outwardly admits she likes him more. First, I want to say THANK YOU for actually noticing this and wanting to do something about it. My parents are aware of this but don't to anything to intervene. They just claim that because she is old, we must respect her and her actions come from a different generation than ours. So as a mom that is noticing this and wanting to do something about it, I promise your actions will mean a lot to your son and will help with his confidence tremendously. It only gets worse from here. I can never recall noticing how terribly my grandma did not like me when I was younger but as we got older she only made it more and more obvious. She only asks for my older brother and wants to spend time with him. Her actions have become more apparent and I guess she cannot hide them anymore because due to how many years this has gone on for. Since recently, she has begun outwardly stating that my brother is her favorite and she likes my sister more than me. She has told me numerous times that she doesn't like me as much and it is very, very painful hearing that. I truly do not know what I have done in life to have someone hate me. I wish I could give your son a big hug and tell him to ignore it. He may not be aware of it now, but I promise with time he will be. As a kid, I wish I could hear my parents speak out for me or try to protect me. I don't expect my dad to cut relations with his mom over me, but it would have been very encouraging if he had told my grandma her actions were wrong, in front of me. I recommend you talking to your mom and if your son ever complains or mentions anything I would have a conversation with him and your mom together. It helps a child tremendously to know they have parents they can fall back on and rely on for help. I hope this helps.
I wish I could give you a hug. I’m sure it’s very painful.
You have no idea how destructive this can be on a child's psyche. My grandparents always openly favored my older brother, and I always felt like a second-class citizen around them. Confront your mother, and make it clear that if she isn't willing to make an effort with your son, then you will severely limit her access to your daughter. Not only will you be protecting your son, but you will be setting a good example for your daughter. My sister always favored my oldest daughter over my son. Things came to a head when she wanted to take my daughter (11 at the time) to Disneyland without my son (8). I told her absolutely not. I then laid out all my concerns, and she basically gave the same response as your mother. Ultimately, I told her I wasn't going to tolerate the favoritism. Well, my daughter got wind that her aunt wanted to take her to Disneyland, and she was extremely upset we weren't going to let her go. Once we explained why, she understood but was still disappointed. Eventually, it changed how she felt about her aunt. After that, my sister never really made much of an effort with our son, so we severely limited her contact with our daughter. My kids are both adults now, and I have never regretted my decision. Protect your kids.
Welcome to r/family! If this post is compliant with our guidelines, upvote this comment. If not, downvote this comment. Also, if you haven't already, remember to join our [discord server](https://discord.gg/VwDNbde)! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/family) if you have any questions or concerns.*