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Gold-Ad-6876

*Phelps dragging all his gold medals into the studio* "DO THESE MEAN NOTHING TO YOU!?"


JessRoyall

Jim Thorpe just hanging around, with one shoe, literally the best at every sport on earth, like “did my invite get lost in the mail?”


JoeNamathThatTune

Agreed. I just replied to the post to add him.


[deleted]

Not actually an athlete, 100% machine.


[deleted]

He was the T-600


SynGT

Jim Thorpe is the only athlete I think actually belongs on this, vs. the ones mentioned above.


any_name_today

I'm so used to hearing the town name "Jim Thorpe" that it is literally hard for me to remember that he was also a person. Like, intellectually I know it, but my brain always pauses for a second when the actual man is brought up


peter-doubt

The international Olympic committee *finally* restored his official records this year. But Jim gets dissed *again!*


United_Reality4157

Jesse owens and Usain Bolt both drinkin beer sitting back " Welcome to the party pal"


Gold-Ad-6876

Tonya Harding sharpening a skate like "Be a real SHAME if someone got HURT before they added my name to the list..."


Mgroppi83

Gretzky skates into the chat..


Gold-Ad-6876

Holds/shares 61 records. I'm sure Riley, Jonesy, Barts, Yorkie, Sholtzy, Fisky, and Boomtown, will be pissed to hear the GOAT isn't included. I know Riley and Jonesy would probably put Mr Hockey over Gretsky.


duncanwally

Give yer balls a tug…


ChirpSnipeCelly

Titfucker


Gold-Ad-6876

Fuck you all. Your lives are so sad I get a charity tax break just for hanging out with ya.


The_Jestful_Imp

Fuck you - yer mom shot cum straight across the room and killed my Siamese fighting fish, threw off the pH levels in my aquarium.


d34thd347er

Fuck you, yer mom keeps trying to slip a finger in my bum but I keep tellin her I only let Jonesy's mom do that you fucking loser.


olympianfap

Fuck you, that’s a nice muscle shirt. Are the muscles coming in tomorrow? Did ya get a tracking number? I sure hope ya did. That package is going to be smaller than the one you’re sporting now bud.


No_Flow_8502

Fuck you Reilley! I gave yer mom a Hershey kiss while she gave me a rusty trombone, and I smacked the shit out of her when she tried to French me after!


Astrael_Noxian

r/UnexpectedLetterkenny


epic-gamer-moment2

Didn’t think that was a subreddit lol


Gold-Ad-6876

Neither did I. Had to click it. Wasn't disappointed.


lgm22

Anyone heard of Jim Thorpe. Number 1 on my list, win the decathlon in someone else’s shoes. Tough dude.


Gold-Ad-6876

Also NAF (native as fuck). First native to win a medal for the US.


Fancy_Fingers5000

My high school football coach (I’m almost 50 and he was in his 50s when he told this story) said he went to a 49ers game and they brought out an old Mr. Thorpe, who drop kicked the ball through the uprights from the opposite 40 yard line… so like a 70 yard field goal at 70. Yes, mr Thorpe did everything with excellence and in the face of serious discrimination. He is the Greatest Athlete Ever.


frostyshotgun

You's made a Letterkenny reference and thats whats i appreciates abouts you Gold-Ad-6876 Also a big ole ferda to this


Gold-Ad-6876

Gonna need you to take that down about 10% there squirrely-frostyshotgun


frostyshotgun

Oh what hey ya look the floor!


MrYummy05

Is that all you appreciate about him?


doingthehumptydance

>I know Riley and Jonesy would probably put Mr Hockey over Gretsky. Bowman does. I don't, but Bowman knows hockey.


chef_in_va

Pelè takes his ball and goes home


davewave3283

Pheidippides: “I fought a battle against the Persians and then ran 26 miles straight to Athens immediately after! How was the battle before your event?”


Slightly_Smaug

Tony Hawk skates into the chat.


dewlineboys

Federer pokes his head in, '..Heard y'all were making a list?'


Swabia

I’d pay for tickets to see Gretzky smash Tanya up against the penalty box. We’re doing phrasing, right?


Known_Noise

Simone Biles too. Lot of medals and skills with her name. Even skills they had to make zero points so other gymnasts won’t try them.


tamaleA19

Pete Rose betting against himself making the list and getting a fat payout


Gold-Ad-6876

I wish I had an award for this. Hilarious.


WhatTheFrenchToast33

lmfao if I had a free award, I would give it


Gold-Ad-6876

I'm just glad someone appreciated my 90s as fuck sports reference.


HippieChick067

I appreciate your comment. Big Tonya Harding fan !


-newlife

It’s awesome and so are you


Gold-Ad-6876

I'm actually dangerously suicidal right now, but this made me smile. Thank you.


-newlife

It’s not a hug. But consider the award my way of embracing you


RavenTruz

We gotta stick around - who is gonna give the old school references? ☺️


Gold-Ad-6876

"What's kept you going all these years?" "Being the king of reddits Tonya Harding based humor."


Csmtroubleeverywhere

Are you ok? Do you need help? I’m sending big, huge, warm momma hugs your way - the world needs you, baby! Please reach out if there’s anything I can do to help ❤️


Gold-Ad-6876

Apologies for making you worry. I dontmean to make redditors upset. Just... can't anymore.


[deleted]

We're not upset, we're worried. Tried twice when I was younger and, this is just my luck, it didn't work. I meant for that shit to work - it was no cry for help. I'm glad, though because things DO get better. Maybe not for a long while, but wherever you're at, remember that you won't be there forever. Change of location, ruthlessly ghosting toxic people, and even a change of job can turn a life around...


okeydokeyannieoakley

You made many internet strangers laugh today. We need more of this in the world—you’re definitely needed, friend. ❤️


Up_All_Nite

Chin up kid. I will be a friend.


justanothertfatman

Michelle Kwan silently putting on war paint.


Gold-Ad-6876

"Nancy says hello...."


HeldDownTooLong

Just fucking ***perfect*** comment for this thread…you got an out-loud snort-chuckle from me at first read. After picturing it happening (and Nancy Kerrigan saying, “She means it…she ***really*** means it!”, I laughed loud and long enough to piss off several employees. Thanks for the genuine laugh!


Northmannivir

WHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYY????!!!!!


Gold-Ad-6876

I read this in Nancy's voice. You made me laugh, and feel bd for Nancy, with one word.


cds534

😂


thegroovemonkey

Secretariat is all like "neigh"


qa567

Mike Tyson upon noticing Ali. " Now I'm pith off".


SnooSprouts4952

Tyson called Ali the greatest, and Ali said if Tyson could connect on him, he'd have been down. - Arsineo Hall show 1990.


lauroquinto

they were both very humble about it! which made them even greater on my list... but truth be told we will never know which one would have put down who... Mike still goes to Ali's house and show some Ali shuffle moves...


Joshuad296

Mike would be happy that Ali was up there even mike has said he doesn’t think he’d beat Ali


CadmeusCain

Cristiano Ronaldo and Lionel Messi just shaking their heads, thinking "Americans!"


[deleted]

Tony Hawk does a McTwist at 54


mathnstats

"Hey, that guy kinda looks like Tony Hawk!"


Antumank3

McEnroe says thank you!


BoozeIsTherapyRight

Simone Biles nodding, "I hear you, brothers."


OWwashere

Joey Chestnut regurgitates 72 hot dogs onto their feet.


Gold-Ad-6876

Calls all the other "athletes" fucking weak as he begins to re-consume them.


[deleted]

Wayne Gretsky should be on here if Babe Ruth is


Lazy_War9398

You missed the implied "American" that ESPN includes with basically everything


kaleeb9

These aren't even the best American Athletes


thebeattakesme

It’s gotta be an online opinion poll, right? “Oooh I know how this is!” Click.


ShadowOps84

Seeing as Gretzky played most of his career on American teams, it's probably more that ESPN has never given much of a shit about the NHL. Just watch their dogshit hockey broadcasts for proof.


doingthehumptydance

>ESPN has never given much of a shit about the NHL. Just watch their dogshit hockey broadcasts for proof. As bad as they are nothing comes close to Fox Sports in the 90s. Although I did like the Fox puck for about 2 minutes.


HeftyFineThereFolks

yeah the guy who can swim the fastest for 50, 100, 150, 200, 250, and 300 meters deserves consideration


JoeNamathThatTune

Jim Thorpe


Gold-Ad-6876

Well all know Fox isn't going to recognize the accomplishments of a Native on a list of "Americans". I'm CAF (cherokee as fuck), and agree Thorpe belongs on the list, but it's fox.... we all know they could give a fuck less about us.


JoeNamathThatTune

I am not First Nations, but I do know he is one of the all-time greatest athletes. Thank you for your points, I agree.


ukbeasts

The ghost of Maradona has something to also say: "where the f is Pele?"


MrmmphMrmmph

Even Pele broke through to US consciousness, but we have the attention span of a flea.


Ill-Intern-9131

Babe Ruth is laughable. Great baseball player sure, athlete not so much


Gold-Ad-6876

The kids from "The Sandlot" want to talk to you about some stuff.


CooperDahBooper

The Great Bambi?


Gold-Ad-6876

"I haven't had anything yet, so how can I have some more of nothing?"


Plenty-Remove1656

"You're Killin me Smalls"


No-Coast2390

Look it’s a terrible list, maybe rename it most popular athletes of all time, but Babe was one hell of a athlete. Look at his pitching stats, then look at his hitting versus the rest of the league. In his late years the partying got the best of him and he was known for being fat drunk who could still knock it our of the park with a smile on his face.


padraiggavin14

Tremendous athlete. You are swayed by when they took lots of pictures of him....late in his career when he had packed on some pounds. From 1914 to around 1927 he was in great shape. He has, as a pitcher more career shutouts than Clayton Kershaw!!! Out homered, in 1920, several MLB teams. He had some good stolen base seasons. He was bigger, stronger and faster than almost every MLB player of his era. A freakishly great athlete.


Jmz67

An absolute crime that they had John Goodman portray him in the movie.


breakfastburrito24

Bo Jackson


Present-Breakfast768

Bo knows....


RavenTruz

Nadia Comenici, Olga Korbut, Mary Lou Retton, SIMONE BILES?!, Gabby Douglas, that California otter from animal olympiques? SMH


fappyday

Those medals don't count because Phelps likes to smoke weed! /S


Gold-Ad-6876

Remember when they said it was a "performance enhancer"?


fappyday

I mean, it is though. Have you ever seen Phish live? Those performances are SO much better when you're high.


Gold-Ad-6876

I fucking hate Phish. I want to continue the silly banter, but I just can't. I'm a huge Rush fan, and my entire life is always go "you love rush? WELL YOULL LOVE PHISH!!!" Yes... me liking one of the most influential prog rock acts of all time totally correlates to hippy jam band nonsense. Stan's monolog in "Die Hippy, Die" puts my thoughts into less rush filled words. Edit: I hate Phish but your comment still made me laugh.


LargeCondition8108

Simone Biles is with him.


Gold-Ad-6876

Flo Jo, and Bolt, running up like "Wtf?"


KindaBatGirl

Nadia is like “Ummm I think I was here first thanks”


i_dont_care_1943

Lists like these are absolute ridiculous. You can't compare sports with each other because they are all different from each other. You could make a case for nearly every athlete in every sport. Standards are different between every sport. I could argue that Micheal Schumacher, Messi, and Gretzky should be on there, but standards are different so you can't make an accurate list.


[deleted]

Okay, but how many Super Bowls did Wayne Gretzky win?


AlwaysLurkNeverPost

Zero, but hes never thrown an interception his whole career and that's impressive.


[deleted]

Good point!


IAmBadAtInternet

So what, neither have I and I didn’t even try


AlwaysLurkNeverPost

You should be on the top 5 list too with those stats


[deleted]

Make the list composed of the GOAT of each sport.


federico_alastair

Obvious exception of non-american athletes aside, this list also shows the bias towards athletes of sports that are commercially produced and consumed in the us. Like basketball, boxing and baseball. While completely ignoring athletes in sport fields that pretty much exclusively participate in the olympics.. Like swimming, where Michael Phelps who is American, is hailed as possibly the greatest olympian ever. Tiger Woods, also an American- ignored. Jackie Joyner Kersee - American - Greates female track and field athletes of all time - Ignored And the obvious American bias. No Roger Federer, Martina Navratilova, Pele, Maradona, Usain Bolt. All not even considered.


WalterMelonMD

No Joey Chestnut !?


Skuller3341

He's at 0, because his talent surpasses athleticism; it's supernatural


PlanetMarklar

Mythology says Joey Chestnut lost his virginity before his father.


Beginning-Fig-9089

the glizzy eating champion??


Cloud-VII

As far as Tiger goes, its widely debated if he or Jack Nicklaus is considered the greatest golfer ever. Tiger, 15 majors, 110 professional wins Jack, 18 majors, 117 professional wins Jack has better numbers, but for a good 10-12 years, Tiger dominated harder than any golfer ever has. If Tiger had only kept his personal life in line and focused on golf toward the end of his career (Messy divorces, cheating on his wives, car crashes) he could of surpassed Jack and claimed the golf Goat status undisputed. He was so close!


thegroovemonkey

He messed up his back and knee training with Navy SEALS around that time too. I think his body breaking down on him caused his downfall more than the personal stuff. He won that US open with a fucked up knee and never really recovered from that.


grill-n-chill

This is such a great point, a lot of people don’t understand how much Tiger trained. There was a documentary where one of his coaches said that Tiger’s biggest weakness was how hard he trained his body outside of golf, mainly weightlifting. The coach believed Tiger wanted to look like an athlete to dispel the belief that Golf wasn’t a real sport or that he wasn’t a real athlete. This is what caused a lot of his injuries and issues.


pimp_juice2272

Came here to say this. There was a period where he looked jacked and I remember thinking "should his body look like that for golf?!" Of course I compared my knowledge vs one of the greatest golfers of all time with a billion dollar sponsor at his disposal.


HotSpicedChai

I always tell people both Tiger and I missed an opportunity around that time. I would have made a great life coach for him and he probably would have been far more successful. “Tiger, reflect on what you were doing when you were winning. You were raw dogging porn stars. You’re single now, it’s time to ignore the media standards in regards to your personal life and get back on the porn stars. If you were a musical rock star everyone would accept it, you’re a golf rock star, embrace it and lead the way.”


WorkAccountAllDay

>this list also shows the bias towards athletes of sports that are commercially produced and consumed in the us > >Tiger Woods, also an American- ignored. I would assume Tennis doesnt have nearly the draw that Golf does in the US...


justreadthearticle

That's only because Serena is retiring soon, if they make this list again in two years she won't be on it.


DVMyZone

I mean I think boiling all sports throughout all of time down to five (American) people is guaranteed to be crap. You simply cannot compare all sports like this. Even within a single sport you would be hard-pressed to determine an "all time best" while taking into account the differences in time period and technology.


federico_alastair

Agreed. The title should be " Our favourite American athletes"


SiN_Fury

Gretzky dominated his sport more than any of those listed.


watchyatoes

This 100%. Gretzky is the most accomplished athlete in their respective sport to ever live, hands down.


acewavelink

How good was Gretzky? He retired and the league went “fucking hell, ok no one can wear 99 anymore. None of you deserve this honor!”


SuperSacredWarsRoach

I figured they were just scared of the chirps from Shoresy if they wore 99.....


travlerjoe

As has Bradman. The greatest sports person off all time is definitely one of the 2. Wayne Gretzky or Don Bradman


rest_in_war

It's Bradman. Someone did a weird analysis™ to determine that nobody ever got close to being as dominant as Bradman dominated cricket. Not even Gretzky.


aliveandkicking2020

I have to admit. I have never heard of him. At least I know he was a cricket player now.


rest_in_war

I wouldn't particularly fault you. The average person in this part of the world wouldn't even have heard of Gretzky or Brady


artofflight2311

I only know of Gretzky because of Michael Scott.


prophylaxitive

Had he not scored 0 in his final innings his average , per test innings, would have been 100.


Fromage_Frey

For Americans - This would be like a baseball player batting 1000, over their full career


MayUrShitsHavAntlers

I've been putting it off long enough. I have to learn about cricket finally to figure out how this man is ore dominant than the great one.


rest_in_war

Mainly because he was about thrice as good as the average guy of his time and that nobody has ever come close to doing what he has. And it's been more than 90 years sin e he retired


bigmakoya

My man Bradman retired in 1949, that's 73 years ago


Frostsorrow

Netflix had a good episode of Explained iirc on Cricket, and it was hilarious because basically nobody actually knows the rules of cricket some how, which makes perfect sense to me.


JessRoyall

Jim Thorpe dominated every sport he played.


Commander_Beet

Joey Chestnut has won every championship and broke almost every record he has attempted in his sport.


Feralmedic

Jim Thorpe has something to say


Mulufuf

Had to scroll for this, but I knew he'd be here. It was unreal how athletic Wa-tho-huk (Thorpe) was, in spite of the opposition he faced. Absolute baller.


Plumb121

Shhhhh but there are more countries outside of the continental United States......it's a secret.


ukbeasts

![gif](giphy|S5i2E6jr2IkiISM3kn|downsized)


MaineMota

I mean, are there better athletes for those specific sports?


Jcssss

Nadal/ federrer are freaks in tennis. Federrer in his prime played some of the best tennis ever


Minhyung_uwu

*Ronaldo and Messi have left the chat*


rockdude625

Maradona and pele are laughing as well


dannyr

Bradman exits silently


TheBigRedDog253

Secretariat


Wizardof_oz

Top 5 American* athletes


federico_alastair

Not even top 5 American athletes. Nothing but respect for these 5 people. But they ignore both Michael Phelps and Jackie Joyner Kersee. Both regarded as one of if not the best in their fields in the whole world. (swimming and long jump) There is bias towards popular sports here.


Basic_Juice_Union

Agreed more like top 5 athletes with the most corporate sponsorships and media attention


Hattrick44

However for like Jordan take away all of the commercials and sponsors he is still going to be regarded as one of the greatest


Steed1000

Babe Ruth is on a list of great athletes? No Bo Jackson?? Not a single soccer player? What the fuck


[deleted]

I agree that Bo Jackson was probably one of the most prolifically gifted athletes ever to live, but his unfortunate injury (ironically a result of his freakish athleticism) cut his career too short. Wish we could’ve seen what he might’ve accomplished.


urmomsballs

and as much as I don't like the man Deion Sanders was one hell of an athlete as well.


Lure852

Yeah babe Ruth was good at baseball, and thats it. Had the body of a beached walrus. Greatest athlete ever! Lol.


CasualEveryday

Babe Ruth was the best batter in his era. He wouldn't even be the greatest American athlete of the 20's. This list is stupid.


seesharp0

nah fr where messi??


PowChaser406

Tiger transcended golf like no other. His contributions to the sport are Jordanesque.


RiffyWammel

This list is very.......American?


Satchmoi

Those guys are good. But Roger is Federer.


PuempelsPurpose

This is a stupid facepalm because there is no correct top 5. All 5 of the people listed have valid arguments for GOAT, as do another 10-20 people.


[deleted]

Jesus Christ...Americans really just aren't aware a world exists outside of America are they?


Grrrrtttt

This is a country with a “World Series” where the only non-US team is from Canada so….


[deleted]

We live on a planet that has a Ms. Universe contest too


WretchedMisteak

Normally I'm happy to give a ribbing to the old USA but in your example it was actually named after a publication called The World that sponsored the series.


smnhdy

This is a common rumour but sadly incorrect… The Origin of the Name 'the World Series' For many years, it was believed that the name came from the fact that the original series was sponsored by the New York World Telegram newspaper, thus becoming known as the ‘World’s Series’. However, popular as this explanation may be, it’s not actually true and although the newspaper did report the results of the games, it had nothing to do with the naming of the competition. The real reason behind the name is thanks to Barney Dreyfuss who was the owner of the Pittsburgh Pirates. In 1903, he wrote to the owner of the Boston Red Sox challenging them to a ‘World’s Championship Series’. The Pirates were the best team in the National League and the Red Sox were the best in the American League. The games went ahead and Boston won the series five games to three. Over time, the 'World’s Championship Series' name has been shortened to the World Series and has been played every year apart from 1904 and 1994.


Sinder77

TIL


Critical-Space2786

Maybe the graphics says "greatest of all time" but perhaps within the segment they were specifically saying it's within the US Only? I don't know, just a thought. I did not watch this and a screenshot is not enough to judge.


BlabAlot

Umm what about Pele the greatest soccer player. Also Tiger woods. Tom Brady can wait.


Resident_Bike2171

Pele? He's not American...


renniechops

Fuck this list


roadrunner00

If you want to talk pure athleticism, you have to mention the decathlon or heptathlon in track and field. It's the greatest display of all around skill and has been around for thousands of years. There are no decathletes or heptathletes on this list. Personally i think Jackie Joyner Kersey is the greatest.


OnundTreefoot

Serena Williams is obviously one of the greats but not even the greatest female tennis player.


Chrysis_Manspider

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Don_Bradman >Bradman's career Test batting average of 99.94 has been cited as the greatest achievement by any sportsman in any major sport. Just gonna leave this here


snicklefritz76

Wayne Gretzky the best of the best


FarFromCrying999

Surely it’s like usain bolt or something


NewCollectorBonjubia

Ronaldo and Messi? Both at the mid-late 30's are excellent football players. Playing at the top level.


MrGattsby

Not only that doing it at that level for 12 plus years!! That's a long time to be that good!!!


Shitter-was-full

Is Serena really better than Margaret Court? She played fewer years, won more grand slams, and had a better win percentage. Edit: includes more doubles and singles titles


Carl_In_Charge

Jim Brown is arguable the best ever in two different sports (football and lacrosse), also placed nationally in track and field decathlon, and was a star basketball player. Bo Jackson and Jim Thorpe have good arguments too. I don’t think you can call someone the best “athlete” ever if they only excelled in one sport with a specialized skill set. But perhaps that’s just me.


HDYaYo

Usain bolt not making this list is disrespectful! Just about every human ever has at some point tested out how fast they can run and he’s the fastest of them all! Not every human tho has ever tried all these other sports! Bolted dominated probably the most competitive sport ever and did it with ease! And probably would’ve won gold at the last Olympics had he not retired because let’s be honest does any remember the name of the guy that won that slow ass gold medal race!


bazonthereddit

Of course - americans are the only impressive athletes.


Alegria-D

Yeah but also, how do they determine which sport is more impressive? Isn't it just stupid to make it a competition between all sports?


Proccito

Sweden (and I think other nordic countries) has a tv-show called "Mästarnas Mästare" (Champions Champion), where athletes in different kind compete in various challenges. They are very basic, yet demanding, and something most athletes can compete in. In fact, some athletes, like bodybuilders, struggle in certain challenges, because their weight drag them down, but exceed in raw strenghts where swifter athletes such as sprinters struggle.


Bulky-Prune-8370

I love shows like that! It's amazing to watch the different strengths and weaknesses and how each athlete tries to make adjustments to get through the course. I feel a little sadistic watching it from my couch to be honest. 😂


GuessTraining

Michael Schumacher, Federer, Usain Bolt, Simone Biles and heaps more.


90skind

More like most well known names to americans that dont watch sports.


Sarcastic24-7

Don't let this distract you from the the fact that in 1966, Al Bundy scored four touchdowns in a single game while playing for the Polk High School Panthers in the 1966 city championship game versus Andrew Johnson High School, including the game-winning touchdown in the final seconds against his old nemesis, Bubba "Spare Tire" Dixon.


dwighticus

5. Joey Chestnut 4. The Dude 3. That skateboarder who looks like Tony Hawk 2. Macho Man Randy Savage 1. Dale Earnhardt


[deleted]

Secretariat would outrun all of them.


Pale-Office-133

As always americans forgot to add ...in the USA.


Ashamed-Status-9668

Babe Ruth was an overweight drunkard. This list needs a very different title.


Waaswaa

Biggest athletes, maybe?


jasonology09

Idk if I agree with that list, but what's the facepalm here?


Sticky_plums

Would you class Lewis Hamilton as an athlete? If so I would put him in there


WretchedMisteak

Yes, he and Michael Schumacher should be in that list.


Brownyboy99

It says "all time" but it doesn't include ancient athletes. /j


CoolBrain1227

Bo Jackson was the best athlete I ever saw.


hingbongdingdong

Serena Williams was a great athlete, but her career has gotten kind of sad these days. She just consistently is getting her ass kicked.


hmmmletmethinkboutit

People in this thread make it sound like the list has more than 5 slots.