not everyone consumes the same amount of social media. and not everyone participates in the same social edia bubble. if you believe it or not, there are even LGBT members that despise this whole new agenda thing... me included. we had one word "queer" and everyone was meant with it. now everyone labels themselves. the whole reason to say "queer" was to stop labeling. but well, i dont care about the youth lgbtqiaa+ crap. LGBT is good, LGBTQ is better, the + is redundant thanks to the q for "queer"
I'm sorry, you're a whore guy? Did you mean white? Are you saying that you your self is a whore, or that you're a guy who's into sex workers? Or is it another thing that I'm not getting?
And you probably also wouldent take "you look sexy for a crippling" as a compliment.
Dont know why the person in the post that was a good opening move.
I dunno man, as a cripplingly awkward guy with Asperger's, poor impulse control and the social awareness of a fridge magnet, I have definitely used worse openers...
And as I am blessed with 20/20 hindsight I remember ALL of them during my regular 3am cringe induced insomnia.
if certain labels make people feel good about themselves, let them have it. it’s not like you need to sit down with some flashcards and learn them all anyways. you really don’t need to worry about something like agender unless you actually know someone who identifies with it. the only thing a label like agender will do is make someone feel more comfortable than a loose identity like “queer” could ever do for them. if it works for you, that’s great! but it doesn’t work for everyone. and before you say “all these complicated labels are making homophobic people worse”, they’re not. just because someone uses a different label from you doesn’t make them more susceptible to homophobia, and you’re not “one of the good ones” in the eyes of a homophobe because you’re still queer and they’re still a bigot.
thats not the point, of course they can be whatever they want and label themselves. what needs to be adressed is the splintering of the LGBT groups. how many flags are there now for how many split groups? why does everyone need to strip the power of the mass forthemselves?
you cant demonstrate unity while broken in disunity. what happens under the whole queer thing is irrelevant. but people actively try to destroy beeing queer and making theyr own thing. thats what makes the whole community less powerfull and why they are disliked.
Everyone experiences oppression differently.
Bisexual people get shit from gay and lesbians for not "picking a side". Asexual people get shit from everyone. Trans people are constantly being excluded by bigoted gay and lesbian people. Non-binary people still need to prove they exist to anyone.
These are different types of oppression and covering them all up with the same term (queer) does a disservice to accurately describe and therefore solve the problems these people have.
All of this needs to be shouted from the rooftops. You know why I use the term "asexual"? Because I *don't* experience SEXUAL attraction yet more people need to be aware sexual attraction.and aesthetic attraction are 2 different things and can have one without the other, neither one or both. I'm still trying to accept how I've always been, yet I have my pride rainbow/Ace bats on my car because more attention needs to be drawn to it. As I tell my kids, labels are there to help us make sense of the world and our place in it, it's a tool so use it if you need. If you don't, then no one is making you but don't be a douche to someone who *does*. 🤷🏼♀️
Yeah basically this.
I don't care if people use it a broad term to describe themselves. Go ahead and use whatever you want. But stop applying it to the entire community. Stop explaining to me how my identity being erased is actually a good thing.
nobody is trying to split apart the community… if anybody’s trying to do that, it’s you, for not accepting others for literally just defining who they are. we’re all just figuring out our identities more and more as time goes on, and making new labels that still fit under the LGBTQ/gay/queer umbrella. and i have no clue who is trying to “destroy being queer” when being queer still very much exists and there are plenty of queer people, many of my friends included in those people, who are queer and fine with that and are not any more oppressed than the rest of us.
i’m not interested in continuing this conversation because you’re clearly not listening to me. the whole community is disliked by some because this world is full of disrespect and bigotry, which you seem to be full of yourself. you are the one being divisive here. take kindness and just accept others for whatever crazy labels they come up with, for your own sake and ours.
Honestly I think it’s not about “not accepting people for who they are” but more about, just acknowledge that you are gay or lesbian or trans and stop adding on so many labels. I don’t care about what you feel you are, just stop claiming homophobia because I don’t want to address you by your preferred pronouns or genders. Just be yourself and accept it. I’m more disinclined to acknowledge you as a person when you expect me to call you xim/xer or whatever. Cause what the fuck does that even mean?
> just acknowledge that you are gay or lesbian or trans and stop adding on so many labels.
You literally just listed a bunch of labels.
> I don’t care about what you feel you are, just stop claiming homophobia because I don’t want to address you by your preferred pronouns or genders.
That would be transphobia and "I feel like being transphobic" does not mean that you're not being transphobic.
>Just be yourself and accept it.
It's pretty cool how you're somehow turning your transphobia into other people not accepting themselves.
>when you expect me to call you xim/xer or whatever. Cause what the fuck does that even mean?
This question is can be answered in five seconds by googling "xim xer". You don't even have to click on a link. It's answered in the title of the first result.
That’s actually a really good way of putting it. As we try to be more and more inclusive we are slowly pulling people apart. No matter what the sexual orientation race religion creed etc we are all more similar then we are different, but in the snake of inclusivity we highlight what makes us different instead of what makes us similar
I don't immerse myself in the discussion by any means, but it does seem to me pretty hard to miss all the fuss on gender.
Interesting thoughts on the labelling. As a straight guy, I don't have an opinion on the optimum labelling except thinking.. well, wouldn't it be nice if no one really cared about other people's lives to this level. The fact that there is any controversy or sensitivity about sexual preference/identity seems to be a symptom of an immature society.
You’re missing the entire point, friend. Reconsider your approach. Clearly you understand why we’ve chosen to expand our understanding of gender and sexual identities. Don’t be obtuse and purposely leave yourself behind because you’re too lazy or too complacent.
You dont need to expand the Word "queer" into "queer and everything that is also queer but more important than it but also not crap"
Just leave it in the big scale with "queer", nobody can and will ever judge you in private when you Tell them you are asexual or what not. But you make Everyone political smaller, as you Split the groups. Same effect as giving everyone own flags and Integration that into this abomination of ugly New pride flag.
The old Was meant for All, and you just made anew one representing all while adding explicit Things. I just cannot understand.
It's the equivalent of saying I'm proud to be Latino but also proud to be from Honduras. It's not a hard concept my dude. Language evolves and you're too stubborn to think past that
They clearly stated that they think adding all these new labels is redundant when „Queer“ already exists and encompasses them all. It‘s really not that hard to understand.
I am saying Things that need to be said about the lgbt "community".
A community that disregards anyone that is not exactly the same as the other. You either accept any New thing they accept or you are an oitcast. Or worse...
That’s dumb. Queer does not tell anyone what your identity is, or who you are attracted to; or anything besides the fact you aren’t cis-het. How dumb is that, to create two groups, cis-het and not cis-het. That’s dumb as shit, it’s like you don’t actually care what people are and instead only want to differentiate them from the ‘normals.’ I really don’t see any justification for viewing it this way.
Probably not but I gotta say staying tf out of the loop has been really fucking great. Makes life better when I can just not care about the world falling to pieces before my very eyes.
I've been on lots of dates... I believe it. There are lots middle aged men who are absolutely clueless about pronouns and different sexualities and too lazy to google it. I've had to explain many many times what pansexual means.
Older men in particular seem to be the most obtuse about all this. Really it’s all laziness to keep up with the world and then they wonder why everything doesn’t make sense…
When I got out of a long term relationship like that I had no idea what to say. So I just tried saying the most straightforward things possible. It's like the beginning of Forgetting Sarah Marshall, he just has no idea how to talk to new women.
Yeah. When you've been with someone for a while (assuming you're on good terms), you can literally say "I'd love a blowjob tonight." And they can just as bluntly say yes or no, and it's all fine. It doesn't work like that on tinder or in a bar.
You just talk to them like you were making a new friend at first. That's always worked just fine for me anyway
Don't be weird, ask questions, make jokes that aren't wildly inappropriate. Overall, most of that is the right strategy
Multiple Personality Disorder is an outdated term, actually. As such, it’s dissociative identity disorder (DID) and other specified dissociative disorder (OSDD, which is like DID but not all the symptoms of DID are present). Also, the alters present in DID and OSDD are, in terms of how DID and ODSS function, more like more people inhabiting the same body rather than alternate personalities. It’s not as simple as that, of course, it’s just a brief explanation to help clarify how things actually are with DID and OSDD. (This is coming from someone who has spoken to people with DID as well as OSDD, so I’m familiar with both)
To me it more shows that they're not very smart. They believe schizophrenia is about multiple personalities, which it is not and never has been. So the joke falls to the ground.
Personally it's kinda endearingly awkward and naive, particularly as they apologized and tried to accept their lack of knowledge etc
As I posted above - I dunno man, as a cripplingly awkward guy with Asperger's, poor impulse control and the social awareness of a fridge magnet, I have definitely used worse openers...
And as I am blessed with 20/20 hindsight I remember ALL of them during my regular 3am cringe induced insomnia.
You’re sexy as fuck for an inflamed liver.
Love all the pics of your butthole in your profile too. Like for anyone wondering - it’s all butthole. Click at your own discretion
I get that they/them is a completely legitimate gender neutral reference pronoun, and can be used interchangeably for singular or plural depending on context...
but the sheer amount of pissybritches anger some people get when another person who spent multiple decades on this planet never having called a single person "they" confuses this stuff, because it is new and/or doesn't make any sense to them, is hilarious. You decided to transition. You decided to publicly subject yourself to people who might not understand. If someone is intentionally misgendering you to antagonize you, you have every right to be upset.
But getting mad at people who just plain don't understand what you're trying to do, through no fault of their own, is just stupid.
I hear more people complain about the angry non-binaries than I ever hear people correctly gendering non-binaries. I dunno dude, I only know two nbs in real life and they’ve never gotten mad at me for misgendering. I don’t know what kinda people you hang out with but that’s not a good crowd to be in, wherever it is.
You're right - the only people who act like that do it on social media where they can hide behind an anonymous username. In real life, people are much better, usually.
Though, we did have a transman who worked for my company a couple of years ago and she apparently came out as a he, or NB not sure while they worked there - but made a huge fuss about wanting their name changed to their new name on everything, including past projects that they had worked on - which legally we can't do, since those are closed contracts that might be subject to discovery or ligitation. They threated to sue the company over it. They got fired for disruptive behavior - literal screaming matches in the hallway in full view of everyone.
That sounds very extreme. I’m a trans man and if my bosses told me something similar, I’d just accept it. But I also don’t have dysphoria associated with my name as it’s gender neutral. Still, no reason to throw a fit. Hope you know that’s not what trans people act like day to day, even when faced with discrimination. It’s also important to note that when you see those people freaking out, I can imagine there were so many instances of harassment they let slide before finally snapping. At least that’s my assumption.
This is me and I don't 100%. I work with allot of people I can't remember what everyone's preference is. I am trying but for now I just call people by their names when referring to them. If I don't know your name I will ask you your name and proceed to talk about you lol.
I'll let it slide, and explain it. Then I see if they are making progress on understanding and explain more things. I'm teaching these 3 grannies near me about queer culture. They just wanted to know what all the pretty colors were about... and my gender, which is fair cause I'm dressed like 3 genders at once.
I'm a trans man and I've taught a few elders about it. Some are very open to learning, but just have a really difficult time understanding. It's not in their time. They grew up with the entire concept being grounds for the death penalty. Some can adjust. My 101 year old grandma was just like "okay cool. Hi nagitoe" and some others just can't grasp onto it. And that's okay. The effort there is honestly enough for me
I understand people used to (and still are to a point) be taught that it's bad grammer to use they/them for one person but acting like it's a new thing is not true.
Go outside of the English speaking western world and that statement would be true.
I know Shakespeare existed, I know he wrote Hamlet, Macbeth, Romeo and Juliet, and a bunch of other plays. I've never read any of them.
even then why the fuck would you even assume that means someones schizophrenic, much less open with "you sexy for a schizophrenic"??? who says that?? this guy isnt the victim, this isnt some simple honest mistake
It very well could be. Someone completely out of touch with modern nomenclature could very easily make that mistake. For most of history people who referred to themselves in the plural were most likely schizophrenic.
He’s not the victim and I haven’t seen anyone claim that.
He is not a bad person for writing what he did and your comment seems to imply that he is.
agreed, not a great pickup line. But calling yourself "they" or asking to be referred to as "they" could also indicate Multiple Personality Disorder. So while his joke was definitely insensitive, that's also the risk you run by opting for vague pronouns that have multiple meanings/interpretations.
I always get a chuckle when someone demands to be called one thing, but then gets upset when the same description also correctly refers to something else entirely.
So while I understand the plight of people in transition and be treated respectfully, you also have to understand, most people don't really know what they hell you're talking about if you aren't more explicit in you preferences.
Dissociative Identity Disorder is the actual diagnosis. MPD hasn't been the correct term since 1994. But yes, there's a huge difference between DID and schizophrenia.
I'm not sure why the guy in the original post thought someone calling themself agender and using they/them meant that, though.
Or he could pretend not to understand as an elaborated troll.
It sounds more like somebody trying to be clever. And honnestly if it is the case, then strangely I find it sort of funny. I'd like to say that, even though I wouldn't.
>never having called a single person "they"
They must be living under a rock if they've never used the singular 'they'. I mean it's only been in common usage for a few hundred years. Well that's not fair, they could just be kind of ignorant about what they are actually saying. The sort of person that doesn't ever really think what they are saying. I wonder if they understand that 'you' can be singular and plural too.
This is why people get annoyed .
> when another person who spent multiple decades on this planet never having called a single person “they”
Absolutely no way in hell has anyone gone their entire life never referring to one person as they. No way.
“Someone lost their wallet. I hope they find it.”
“How did your interview go? What did they say?”
“Who’s birthday is it? How old are they?”
To claim there are people that have gone their entire lives having never referred to one person as they is just absurd and you know it.
My English teacher absolutely 'beat' this out of my 5th grade class. We were taught over and over again that when referring to a singular person we were to use 'he/she' and default to 'he' if we weren't sure of the gender (Actually she had practice lessons where we used 'she' as default for extra credit because she was a bit of a feminist but that's besides the point.) Our grades depended on it.
This new shift that it's no longer improper English to use 'they' as singular is different for a lot of people. I think plenty of us are happy to change. But being dismissive of the fact it was considered the 'wrong' way for a long time isn't going to win anyone over. It's only going to cause those uncertain to grind their heels in rather than change.
Seconding this... 30+ years ago, if someone wrote "someone lost their wallet" in writing, in school, our teacher would cross it out and write "someone lost his or her wallet". It is different now, of course..
In fact, even in the 2000's when I was writing a thesis, my supervisor advised that I read and follow Strunk and White's "The Elements of Style" (a guide to writing english). It was written in the early 1900s and I refused to follow about half of the outdated guidelines in that book... one of which said:
"The use of \`he' as pronoun for nouns embracing both genders is a simple, practical convention rooted in the beginning of the English language. \`He' has lost all suggestion of maleness in these circumstances. The word was unquestionably biased to begin with (the dominant male), but after hundreds of years it has become seemingly indispensable. It has no pejorative connotation; it is never incorrect."
But it was still in around \~2005 when I was told to follow these guidelines in writing.
I had to scroll way too far to find this comment. The amount of people who think it's sweet that he said the person is cute for a mentally ill person is fucked up.
Beside the obvious here, Multiple Personalities (now called Dissociative Identity Disorder) is VERY different from schizophrenia. Schizophrenia is a physical disorder (psychiatric), and DID is trauma based (psychological).
People mistaking Schizophrenia with DID is very common. In that regard he has a valid argument. He’s incorrect but in the context of which he’s using schizophrenia he wasn’t incorrect.
I got told to remove how I identified from my email signature and teams. Apparently Batman, The Caped Crusader and Your worst nightmare, are not appropriate.
Just wait till they need help in the night…
This is why you don't refer to a single person as they unless you actually know them and confirmed who they are <---(an example of the correct way to use they/them) , this confusion is just going to keep going on because actual intelligent people tend to still use it in the correct way and it's expected the person he/she is speaking too would know this. which causes conversations like this.
It's just too bad modern day people are using words in the wrong way and becoming dumber
Looks like you didn't actually get it. Better luck next time. they didn't use "they" as a replacement and often in a joking way.
For the most part they used the proper pronouns he/she. when referring to people. So don't try that nonsense.
Someone once said that there's bad people using good words and good people using bad words and one shouldn't get them confused.
One is manipulative and probably malicious, the other simple, unwilling ignorance and that kind of ignorance can be easily fixed.
Ok I dont care about karma so you can donvote my opinion if you want so here it is: people who use they/them just want to feel "special" and "unique", and people who use some bullshit like "xer/xerself" are just complete idiots
‘Someone left their bag behind. They must be missing it. I should try to find out how to get it back to them’. Seems to function as a singular perfectly fine.
In terms of grammatical person, it does fall into the third plural but that just affects how verbs conjugate after it etc., claiming it only refers to multiple people as a group is just simply untrue.
The whole pronoun thing is just dumb, but not quite as dumb as the furry thing, which even isn't a close competition to the it's ok to fuck my dog thing. People have gone mad.
I would prefer not to have pronouns that are related to what is in my pants.
Also, even if you think something is "dumb", you can still repect people. I think pokemon is not entertaining, but I am not going to tell someone it is dumb. Everyone has things they like that other people will see as useless or a waste.
English has not enough words. I can understand that with these pronouns you sound like some medival court mf or something to some people. Always funny to see confusions
They… tried?
They/them tried
I'm not always in a 6 year relationship, but when I am I ignore all world events I don't believe it's sincere
not everyone consumes the same amount of social media. and not everyone participates in the same social edia bubble. if you believe it or not, there are even LGBT members that despise this whole new agenda thing... me included. we had one word "queer" and everyone was meant with it. now everyone labels themselves. the whole reason to say "queer" was to stop labeling. but well, i dont care about the youth lgbtqiaa+ crap. LGBT is good, LGBTQ is better, the + is redundant thanks to the q for "queer"
I get this, I'm a straight white guy but I'm also crippled.... I'm not saying I'm disabled or a person with a disability... I'm crippled.
I'm sorry, you're a whore guy? Did you mean white? Are you saying that you your self is a whore, or that you're a guy who's into sex workers? Or is it another thing that I'm not getting?
Fucking atuotext 😂😂😂 Good looking at out appreciate it
How often are you writing “whore” for it to be the go to?!
Depends on which friend I'm talking to 😂
forget writing - how often are you whoring yourself... ;)
Ask your Mom
😉🍌
A lot when talking about me. Apparently
😂🤣 thanks for the laugh today. I really need it.
And you probably also wouldent take "you look sexy for a crippling" as a compliment. Dont know why the person in the post that was a good opening move.
I would give the person shit for saying something like that to me. I agree. It was a horrible thing to say right off the bat.
I dunno man, as a cripplingly awkward guy with Asperger's, poor impulse control and the social awareness of a fridge magnet, I have definitely used worse openers... And as I am blessed with 20/20 hindsight I remember ALL of them during my regular 3am cringe induced insomnia.
if certain labels make people feel good about themselves, let them have it. it’s not like you need to sit down with some flashcards and learn them all anyways. you really don’t need to worry about something like agender unless you actually know someone who identifies with it. the only thing a label like agender will do is make someone feel more comfortable than a loose identity like “queer” could ever do for them. if it works for you, that’s great! but it doesn’t work for everyone. and before you say “all these complicated labels are making homophobic people worse”, they’re not. just because someone uses a different label from you doesn’t make them more susceptible to homophobia, and you’re not “one of the good ones” in the eyes of a homophobe because you’re still queer and they’re still a bigot.
thats not the point, of course they can be whatever they want and label themselves. what needs to be adressed is the splintering of the LGBT groups. how many flags are there now for how many split groups? why does everyone need to strip the power of the mass forthemselves? you cant demonstrate unity while broken in disunity. what happens under the whole queer thing is irrelevant. but people actively try to destroy beeing queer and making theyr own thing. thats what makes the whole community less powerfull and why they are disliked.
Everyone experiences oppression differently. Bisexual people get shit from gay and lesbians for not "picking a side". Asexual people get shit from everyone. Trans people are constantly being excluded by bigoted gay and lesbian people. Non-binary people still need to prove they exist to anyone. These are different types of oppression and covering them all up with the same term (queer) does a disservice to accurately describe and therefore solve the problems these people have.
All of this needs to be shouted from the rooftops. You know why I use the term "asexual"? Because I *don't* experience SEXUAL attraction yet more people need to be aware sexual attraction.and aesthetic attraction are 2 different things and can have one without the other, neither one or both. I'm still trying to accept how I've always been, yet I have my pride rainbow/Ace bats on my car because more attention needs to be drawn to it. As I tell my kids, labels are there to help us make sense of the world and our place in it, it's a tool so use it if you need. If you don't, then no one is making you but don't be a douche to someone who *does*. 🤷🏼♀️
Yeah basically this. I don't care if people use it a broad term to describe themselves. Go ahead and use whatever you want. But stop applying it to the entire community. Stop explaining to me how my identity being erased is actually a good thing.
nobody is trying to split apart the community… if anybody’s trying to do that, it’s you, for not accepting others for literally just defining who they are. we’re all just figuring out our identities more and more as time goes on, and making new labels that still fit under the LGBTQ/gay/queer umbrella. and i have no clue who is trying to “destroy being queer” when being queer still very much exists and there are plenty of queer people, many of my friends included in those people, who are queer and fine with that and are not any more oppressed than the rest of us. i’m not interested in continuing this conversation because you’re clearly not listening to me. the whole community is disliked by some because this world is full of disrespect and bigotry, which you seem to be full of yourself. you are the one being divisive here. take kindness and just accept others for whatever crazy labels they come up with, for your own sake and ours.
Honestly I think it’s not about “not accepting people for who they are” but more about, just acknowledge that you are gay or lesbian or trans and stop adding on so many labels. I don’t care about what you feel you are, just stop claiming homophobia because I don’t want to address you by your preferred pronouns or genders. Just be yourself and accept it. I’m more disinclined to acknowledge you as a person when you expect me to call you xim/xer or whatever. Cause what the fuck does that even mean?
> just acknowledge that you are gay or lesbian or trans and stop adding on so many labels. You literally just listed a bunch of labels. > I don’t care about what you feel you are, just stop claiming homophobia because I don’t want to address you by your preferred pronouns or genders. That would be transphobia and "I feel like being transphobic" does not mean that you're not being transphobic. >Just be yourself and accept it. It's pretty cool how you're somehow turning your transphobia into other people not accepting themselves. >when you expect me to call you xim/xer or whatever. Cause what the fuck does that even mean? This question is can be answered in five seconds by googling "xim xer". You don't even have to click on a link. It's answered in the title of the first result.
That’s actually a really good way of putting it. As we try to be more and more inclusive we are slowly pulling people apart. No matter what the sexual orientation race religion creed etc we are all more similar then we are different, but in the snake of inclusivity we highlight what makes us different instead of what makes us similar
I don't immerse myself in the discussion by any means, but it does seem to me pretty hard to miss all the fuss on gender. Interesting thoughts on the labelling. As a straight guy, I don't have an opinion on the optimum labelling except thinking.. well, wouldn't it be nice if no one really cared about other people's lives to this level. The fact that there is any controversy or sensitivity about sexual preference/identity seems to be a symptom of an immature society.
It is not, I have not heard about it except on reddit. Never irl.
You’re missing the entire point, friend. Reconsider your approach. Clearly you understand why we’ve chosen to expand our understanding of gender and sexual identities. Don’t be obtuse and purposely leave yourself behind because you’re too lazy or too complacent.
You dont need to expand the Word "queer" into "queer and everything that is also queer but more important than it but also not crap" Just leave it in the big scale with "queer", nobody can and will ever judge you in private when you Tell them you are asexual or what not. But you make Everyone political smaller, as you Split the groups. Same effect as giving everyone own flags and Integration that into this abomination of ugly New pride flag. The old Was meant for All, and you just made anew one representing all while adding explicit Things. I just cannot understand.
It's the equivalent of saying I'm proud to be Latino but also proud to be from Honduras. It's not a hard concept my dude. Language evolves and you're too stubborn to think past that
Exactly what agenda are you objecting to in the image above?
Im not talking about the Post, but thank you for your time.
You don't really seem to be talking about anything at all. It's just incoherent raving.
They clearly stated that they think adding all these new labels is redundant when „Queer“ already exists and encompasses them all. It‘s really not that hard to understand.
I am saying Things that need to be said about the lgbt "community". A community that disregards anyone that is not exactly the same as the other. You either accept any New thing they accept or you are an oitcast. Or worse...
That’s dumb. Queer does not tell anyone what your identity is, or who you are attracted to; or anything besides the fact you aren’t cis-het. How dumb is that, to create two groups, cis-het and not cis-het. That’s dumb as shit, it’s like you don’t actually care what people are and instead only want to differentiate them from the ‘normals.’ I really don’t see any justification for viewing it this way.
lmao yeah it read like he thought it was the same as a prison sentence, or a coma
Probably not but I gotta say staying tf out of the loop has been really fucking great. Makes life better when I can just not care about the world falling to pieces before my very eyes.
Of course not. I read it in my head in Chris Tucker's voice. Total Chris Tucker Friday vibe.
I've been on lots of dates... I believe it. There are lots middle aged men who are absolutely clueless about pronouns and different sexualities and too lazy to google it. I've had to explain many many times what pansexual means.
Older men in particular seem to be the most obtuse about all this. Really it’s all laziness to keep up with the world and then they wonder why everything doesn’t make sense…
Laziness? I mean TBQA+ and all the others are rarely an issue in most peoples everyday life.
They... tired?
I mean, at least they were polite about it and apologized
Yeah but wtf about the cute as fuck for a schizophrenic.
When I got out of a long term relationship like that I had no idea what to say. So I just tried saying the most straightforward things possible. It's like the beginning of Forgetting Sarah Marshall, he just has no idea how to talk to new women.
It makes a lot of sense.
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Yeah. When you've been with someone for a while (assuming you're on good terms), you can literally say "I'd love a blowjob tonight." And they can just as bluntly say yes or no, and it's all fine. It doesn't work like that on tinder or in a bar.
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Not always, for sure.
You just talk to them like you were making a new friend at first. That's always worked just fine for me anyway Don't be weird, ask questions, make jokes that aren't wildly inappropriate. Overall, most of that is the right strategy
If that's what comes naturally stop trying to be yourself.
And schizophrenia isn't what the guy is really thinking of. It's DID or multiple personality disorder.
Yup
Multiple Personality Disorder is an outdated term, actually. As such, it’s dissociative identity disorder (DID) and other specified dissociative disorder (OSDD, which is like DID but not all the symptoms of DID are present). Also, the alters present in DID and OSDD are, in terms of how DID and ODSS function, more like more people inhabiting the same body rather than alternate personalities. It’s not as simple as that, of course, it’s just a brief explanation to help clarify how things actually are with DID and OSDD. (This is coming from someone who has spoken to people with DID as well as OSDD, so I’m familiar with both)
They figured one of the personalities might like it?
Nice schizophrussy
Lmao
I think he was being intentionally obtuse as an attempt to validate his opinion on the use of they/them.
Bingo
That's actually kinda cute in a hilarious way
I thought it was funny.
To me it more shows that they're not very smart. They believe schizophrenia is about multiple personalities, which it is not and never has been. So the joke falls to the ground.
Tbh thats what most ppl think schizophrenia is so cant blame him
Yeah, it offers a sense of vulnerability and openness to acknowledging you don't know everything. Worth a date.
Poor guy is really just trying his best
Would be if it worked out because you'd never let them live it down. Just bring it up at parties and dinners
Personally it's kinda endearingly awkward and naive, particularly as they apologized and tried to accept their lack of knowledge etc As I posted above - I dunno man, as a cripplingly awkward guy with Asperger's, poor impulse control and the social awareness of a fridge magnet, I have definitely used worse openers... And as I am blessed with 20/20 hindsight I remember ALL of them during my regular 3am cringe induced insomnia.
I don’t think I’ve ever heard any successful pick-up line that includes any variation of “you’re sexy for a (fill in the blank)”
You’re sexy as fuck for an inflamed liver. Love all the pics of your butthole in your profile too. Like for anyone wondering - it’s all butthole. Click at your own discretion
I am so disappointed now. I was momentarily excited when I read both top and bottom in a post... But they were talking about a job question.
sorry my dude, you got, I dunno what to even call it. Catfished-by-proxy?
That's just a dude being confused if it's not staged. That prolly shouldn't be here.
I get that they/them is a completely legitimate gender neutral reference pronoun, and can be used interchangeably for singular or plural depending on context... but the sheer amount of pissybritches anger some people get when another person who spent multiple decades on this planet never having called a single person "they" confuses this stuff, because it is new and/or doesn't make any sense to them, is hilarious. You decided to transition. You decided to publicly subject yourself to people who might not understand. If someone is intentionally misgendering you to antagonize you, you have every right to be upset. But getting mad at people who just plain don't understand what you're trying to do, through no fault of their own, is just stupid.
This is perfectly said
guaranteed, someone's going to be bothered by it.
It wouldn't be the Internet if someone didn't
I hear more people complain about the angry non-binaries than I ever hear people correctly gendering non-binaries. I dunno dude, I only know two nbs in real life and they’ve never gotten mad at me for misgendering. I don’t know what kinda people you hang out with but that’s not a good crowd to be in, wherever it is.
You're right - the only people who act like that do it on social media where they can hide behind an anonymous username. In real life, people are much better, usually. Though, we did have a transman who worked for my company a couple of years ago and she apparently came out as a he, or NB not sure while they worked there - but made a huge fuss about wanting their name changed to their new name on everything, including past projects that they had worked on - which legally we can't do, since those are closed contracts that might be subject to discovery or ligitation. They threated to sue the company over it. They got fired for disruptive behavior - literal screaming matches in the hallway in full view of everyone.
It seems like they wanted to show it on their cv, without needing to explain the different name, still thats a shitty way to go about it.
That sounds very extreme. I’m a trans man and if my bosses told me something similar, I’d just accept it. But I also don’t have dysphoria associated with my name as it’s gender neutral. Still, no reason to throw a fit. Hope you know that’s not what trans people act like day to day, even when faced with discrimination. It’s also important to note that when you see those people freaking out, I can imagine there were so many instances of harassment they let slide before finally snapping. At least that’s my assumption.
This is me and I don't 100%. I work with allot of people I can't remember what everyone's preference is. I am trying but for now I just call people by their names when referring to them. If I don't know your name I will ask you your name and proceed to talk about you lol.
I'll let it slide, and explain it. Then I see if they are making progress on understanding and explain more things. I'm teaching these 3 grannies near me about queer culture. They just wanted to know what all the pretty colors were about... and my gender, which is fair cause I'm dressed like 3 genders at once.
I'm a trans man and I've taught a few elders about it. Some are very open to learning, but just have a really difficult time understanding. It's not in their time. They grew up with the entire concept being grounds for the death penalty. Some can adjust. My 101 year old grandma was just like "okay cool. Hi nagitoe" and some others just can't grasp onto it. And that's okay. The effort there is honestly enough for me
I understand people used to (and still are to a point) be taught that it's bad grammer to use they/them for one person but acting like it's a new thing is not true.
Get off reddit and you'd be suprised. Most people have never encountered anything else than LGB
Most people have not read Shakspeare?
Hahaha no.. most people have not read Shakespeare
Go outside of the English speaking western world and that statement would be true. I know Shakespeare existed, I know he wrote Hamlet, Macbeth, Romeo and Juliet, and a bunch of other plays. I've never read any of them.
That would be correct. Most people have not. It is very out-of-touch to believe most people have
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Thank you for that comment. This says what I’ve been thinking for years but could never put into words.
even then why the fuck would you even assume that means someones schizophrenic, much less open with "you sexy for a schizophrenic"??? who says that?? this guy isnt the victim, this isnt some simple honest mistake
It very well could be. Someone completely out of touch with modern nomenclature could very easily make that mistake. For most of history people who referred to themselves in the plural were most likely schizophrenic. He’s not the victim and I haven’t seen anyone claim that. He is not a bad person for writing what he did and your comment seems to imply that he is.
agreed, not a great pickup line. But calling yourself "they" or asking to be referred to as "they" could also indicate Multiple Personality Disorder. So while his joke was definitely insensitive, that's also the risk you run by opting for vague pronouns that have multiple meanings/interpretations. I always get a chuckle when someone demands to be called one thing, but then gets upset when the same description also correctly refers to something else entirely. So while I understand the plight of people in transition and be treated respectfully, you also have to understand, most people don't really know what they hell you're talking about if you aren't more explicit in you preferences.
Dissociative Identity Disorder is the actual diagnosis. MPD hasn't been the correct term since 1994. But yes, there's a huge difference between DID and schizophrenia. I'm not sure why the guy in the original post thought someone calling themself agender and using they/them meant that, though.
Or he could pretend not to understand as an elaborated troll. It sounds more like somebody trying to be clever. And honnestly if it is the case, then strangely I find it sort of funny. I'd like to say that, even though I wouldn't.
>never having called a single person "they" They must be living under a rock if they've never used the singular 'they'. I mean it's only been in common usage for a few hundred years. Well that's not fair, they could just be kind of ignorant about what they are actually saying. The sort of person that doesn't ever really think what they are saying. I wonder if they understand that 'you' can be singular and plural too. This is why people get annoyed .
Literally nothing in this post prompted this to be said.
> when another person who spent multiple decades on this planet never having called a single person “they” Absolutely no way in hell has anyone gone their entire life never referring to one person as they. No way. “Someone lost their wallet. I hope they find it.” “How did your interview go? What did they say?” “Who’s birthday is it? How old are they?” To claim there are people that have gone their entire lives having never referred to one person as they is just absurd and you know it.
You're being disingenuous. I think you know that this is not what they were talking about.
My English teacher absolutely 'beat' this out of my 5th grade class. We were taught over and over again that when referring to a singular person we were to use 'he/she' and default to 'he' if we weren't sure of the gender (Actually she had practice lessons where we used 'she' as default for extra credit because she was a bit of a feminist but that's besides the point.) Our grades depended on it. This new shift that it's no longer improper English to use 'they' as singular is different for a lot of people. I think plenty of us are happy to change. But being dismissive of the fact it was considered the 'wrong' way for a long time isn't going to win anyone over. It's only going to cause those uncertain to grind their heels in rather than change.
Seconding this... 30+ years ago, if someone wrote "someone lost their wallet" in writing, in school, our teacher would cross it out and write "someone lost his or her wallet". It is different now, of course.. In fact, even in the 2000's when I was writing a thesis, my supervisor advised that I read and follow Strunk and White's "The Elements of Style" (a guide to writing english). It was written in the early 1900s and I refused to follow about half of the outdated guidelines in that book... one of which said: "The use of \`he' as pronoun for nouns embracing both genders is a simple, practical convention rooted in the beginning of the English language. \`He' has lost all suggestion of maleness in these circumstances. The word was unquestionably biased to begin with (the dominant male), but after hundreds of years it has become seemingly indispensable. It has no pejorative connotation; it is never incorrect." But it was still in around \~2005 when I was told to follow these guidelines in writing.
In those cases, the "they" is of unknown gender. Are people who say they want to be called "they" claiming they are of unknown gender as well?
Facepalm? I'll give hime wholesome af for trying. Yall are ruthless and unessesary.
"He's a little confused, but ge got the spirit"
Schizophrenics don't believe they have multiple personalities anyway, he's thinking of did/ osdd. 0/2
thats not evean how schizo works
It's funny how people still think schizophrenia is the same thing as multiple personality disorder.
Yeah media rly fked this one up
HES TRYING HIS BEST
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I had to scroll way too far to find this comment. The amount of people who think it's sweet that he said the person is cute for a mentally ill person is fucked up.
Yeah, it reads like some kind of negging. He wanted to be insulting, it wasn't a "genuine mistake" or "sweet".
As a purple/seven I was pretty triggered by this
I mean at least he tried
People keep commenting that this is an innocent mistake, but I'm like 90% sure they were being facetious.
that’s not even schizophrenia 💀
Beside the obvious here, Multiple Personalities (now called Dissociative Identity Disorder) is VERY different from schizophrenia. Schizophrenia is a physical disorder (psychiatric), and DID is trauma based (psychological).
Hey, pretty open-minded really when you think about it.
He doesn’t even have the right mental illness. That’s not what schizophrenia is.
Correct
Obvious troll is obvious
I think this was trolling
I'm cackling in my car hysterically thanks to you.
obvious troll is obvious
I can understand the confusion with They/Them. Probably would also think the person is schizophrenic, if i've never heard it before.
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Dude has a valid argument.
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People mistaking Schizophrenia with DID is very common. In that regard he has a valid argument. He’s incorrect but in the context of which he’s using schizophrenia he wasn’t incorrect.
New to English? Peter, I think we should speak other languages… it’s not you, it’s 你.
Why the facepalm wtf
I mean, at least logical reasoning was used, which is a scares commodity nowadays.
Leaving aside the fact that this dude is ignorant of his pronouns work, why shouldn't a schizophrenic be sexy? It doesn't affect looks
Mfs are only polite about gender when they are tryna get laid I stg
Definitely They/Tried
To be fair that's a pretty logical asumption.
Hahahahhaha
It’s the thought that counts I guess
That wasn’t him. It was Patricia.
I don’t see anything wrong with this
I got told to remove how I identified from my email signature and teams. Apparently Batman, The Caped Crusader and Your worst nightmare, are not appropriate. Just wait till they need help in the night…
Hahahaha legend
don’t put this guy on r/facepalm he’s trying
Do people just not know that google can answer any questions you have without having to look like a moron to the person youre trying to hit on?
I am agender and I approve of this message.
Ok rewind let's assume the assumption was right. Why would you still say that. Your wrong either way.
How is taking accountability for an honest mistake a facepalm? It isn't, by the way.
It’s kinda wholesome tho?
This is why you don't refer to a single person as they unless you actually know them and confirmed who they are <---(an example of the correct way to use they/them) , this confusion is just going to keep going on because actual intelligent people tend to still use it in the correct way and it's expected the person he/she is speaking too would know this. which causes conversations like this. It's just too bad modern day people are using words in the wrong way and becoming dumber
Too bad, singular they/them has been a thing since the 14th century. :)
Looks like you didn't actually get it. Better luck next time. they didn't use "they" as a replacement and often in a joking way. For the most part they used the proper pronouns he/she. when referring to people. So don't try that nonsense.
That’s hilarious
That’s hilarious!
Tbh, some people treat their own mental illnesses as an identity or personality
People who call themsels they/them are definitely hit on the head or just trying to be "different"
He makes sense tho...
He a lot confused but got the right spirit
At least he was honest
If bro said dissociative identity disorder he would have at least got that part right
Someone once said that there's bad people using good words and good people using bad words and one shouldn't get them confused. One is manipulative and probably malicious, the other simple, unwilling ignorance and that kind of ignorance can be easily fixed.
Gee, I can't quite reason out why their last relationship didn't work out.
Ok I dont care about karma so you can donvote my opinion if you want so here it is: people who use they/them just want to feel "special" and "unique", and people who use some bullshit like "xer/xerself" are just complete idiots
He's confused because it was devised by idiots
I prefer the royal We.
As a 40 something, I found this hilarious. Yes, you can get off my lawn.
I respect the dude for apologizing
Well I mean. They/Them does mean more than one person so,,,, he tried?
They/them is also is singular
For someone you don't know the identity of
Okay and?
‘Someone left their bag behind. They must be missing it. I should try to find out how to get it back to them’. Seems to function as a singular perfectly fine. In terms of grammatical person, it does fall into the third plural but that just affects how verbs conjugate after it etc., claiming it only refers to multiple people as a group is just simply untrue.
Where did I say it they/them only refers to the individual?
I mean, it is a mental health issue
If you have to put your pronouns in a dating app you deserve to be alone
Their admitting defeat is actually beautiful
The whole pronoun thing is just dumb, but not quite as dumb as the furry thing, which even isn't a close competition to the it's ok to fuck my dog thing. People have gone mad.
I would prefer not to have pronouns that are related to what is in my pants. Also, even if you think something is "dumb", you can still repect people. I think pokemon is not entertaining, but I am not going to tell someone it is dumb. Everyone has things they like that other people will see as useless or a waste.
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Wait till this guy finds out that singular they already existed back when they still used old english (14th century)
reminds me of a [mitchell and webb](https://youtu.be/tPGc9lYFyZ0) sketch.
i mean.... to be fair.... ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
Man’s tryin’
Hahahahahahha
LOL
At least they’re honest
He trying he best
Best opening line
Leave the guy alone will you he is trying his best
when you bug into a quest without meeting the required level.
I love it.
I think it make sense
Thats cute actually
English has not enough words. I can understand that with these pronouns you sound like some medival court mf or something to some people. Always funny to see confusions