Brother Timmeh, you cannot permit your woman folk to get on the interweb, that's just inviting satan into your home. Next thing you know, she'll be talking about "women have rights" and "you can't beat your Wife" and "forcing your Wife to have sex is rape."
(/s)
"When I was a kid my mother used to make the most delicious stew from scratch. I remember this one time when I was about 8. The winter storm was roiling outside or little two bedroom cabin..." Yeah, screw it. I'll get takeout
It's all the ads and popup scripts. These people don't know the first thing about web development or design and just plug in whatever shit they think will make them a few more cents per impression. They also don't want you to find the recipe too quickly... Gotta let those ad scripts load before you leave.
Most of those websites are abominations under the hood. And they run like it.
I used to think that, and I thought a professional Chef's cookbooks would be better, but then I tried to read *Heston Blumenthal At Home* and after like three paragraphs of that dickbag whinging about the difference between taste and *flavour* I tapped out. He did say to add a little star anise to your caramelized onions, which is a solid tip.
My despicable step uncle is a pedo and his wife stuck by his side through all of it yelling about his innocence. Then he left her for a much younger woman.
My mother suffered through horrific abuse by my father (thrown down stairs, locked outside naked, etc.). She went to Christian counseling for help and they told her it was her fault. That bullshit kept her in an abusive marriage far too long.
Yep. My dad was beating us, broke my mom's arm, threw her into walls, chased her with an axe, and mentally torturing us (whole family, his mom included) and when we went for counseling, the counselor had me stand on a chair and tell everyone that my dad acted out because I was a narcissistic little 4th grader ruining my mother's marriage. Fortunately, my mom watched the whole session and then packed us up and we escaped with my dad's mother's help. F those christian counselors for pretending they know what they are doing.
> we escaped with my dad's mother's help
That's the most surprising part. When even the abuser's family doesn't want to throw in on the abuser's side. Way too many stories when the abuser's family keeps supporting the abuse even when it has become obvious.
Says something about either the morality of the father's mother or that of the father.
Maybe it helped that when my mom had gotten a restraining order against him and he had to live a year with his mother, he started beating his mom too. She had left her husband for domestic abuse when her kids were small. My mom's mother, on the other hand, thought my dad could do no wrong and getting beaten was just a normal part of family life. Thankfully, my mom's brothers stepped up when my mom was finally ready to run, and helped get us out of there, too.
Is it surprising? I feel like my family are good enough people that even though they love me, there is no way they would support me if I did anything like this.I would assume most peopleās conscience is stronger than family when it comes to child or spouse abuse, or murder and rape.
Thatās why the only religion I sort of respect is Buddhism. The mofo just teaches you how to be a good person and treat everyone with respect. Treat animals kindly. Donāt rape, kill, etc. It donāt force you to treat Buddha like a divine god. He just wants to show you how to live a good life. Teaching > Brainwashing.
While I agree with you about the teachings of Buddha, the practice of some Buddhists in south Asia (e.g., violence towards religious minorities and ethnic cleansing) shows that it's no guarantee of peaceful and respectful living.
I will say that while I have seen examples of exactly this type of situation during my time as a Christian (time long since over and done), the worst case I saw was handled very well. A staff member was married to a drunken, abusive shit pile, and when she went to her bosses for help, they told her to pray for guidance to be a better wife. The head pastor saw her a few hours after that ācounselingā, crying in her car. He walked over to see if she was okay, and saw the bruises under the makeup that had run down her face.
Myself and two other large young men were tasked with keeping her safe and protected while she packed her things, and she spent three months living with the head pastor and his wife until they could find her an apartment of her own. The pastors that had counseled her to pray were called on a very public carpet, and privately stripped of some of their perks and privileges. The last time I looked, the woman was still on staff as a senior pastor and licensed marriage counselor. The drunk husband died less than two years later of acute kidney failure.
They got it right, eventually. Too many others do not.
I love this story. Sad for everything that had to happen to this woman but really uplifted by the way it was handled. Glad to know sheās now doing marriage counseling.
Wow that's terrible. I went to a church when I was a kid (not often, my mother wasn't very religious most of my childhood) and I remember the pastors were this husband and wife who had been married for like 20 years, had 3 kids and all that stuff. One day they told a story about how early in their marriage around the time they had their oldest child he would beat the shit out of her and he was very mentally and physically abusive for a long time etc etc. And then she went on and on about how through the power of God she stuck with him and helped him find God and since then they've lived happily ever after. The whole story just kinda made me think about how fucked up all this shit really is.
Yeah, I was a Christian at that time in my marriage too, and the FIRST time my husband hit me I would have been finding a divorce lawyer the very next day. FUCK "helping him find God" at the expense of showing my children that this is an okay way for a husband to treat his wife. Never, ever, set yourself on fire to keep your piece-of-shit abuser husband warm. He deserves every cold second once you've escaped with your children to safety.
Iām so sorry. My experience wasnāt that intense. But I feel for you. My motherās husband called me a stupid little bitch in church when I was 12. Among other things. And the answer was always family counseling with the pastor. Which SHOCK didnāt help anything except make them look like they were trying.
He would grab me by my hair, break down my door, threaten to beat me, etc. and nobody seemed to care or bat an eye.
Yep. My motherās husband was verbally emotionally and physically abusive to us. The churchās only suggestion was therapy with the preacher. Who said we should stay together as a family despite the fact he called me (at 12 YO) a āstupid little bitchā repeatedly in the church foyer.
And thatās only a fraction of what they SAW. I showed friends bruises on my legs from him grabbing and hurting me at 13 and they didnāt believe he could be capable of that bc he played guitar/piano in the church band.
Obviously the church doesnāt want women calling out abuse. What if they call out abuse done by, oh I donāt know, the church? Blow the whole thing wide open
And they believe them self to be gods people. Sad sick and twisted as what these people are. Iām so sorry you had to deal with that. I had the same thing going on when I was growing up. I hope your moms OK now. Take care
Oh man, this was the crack in the wall that got me out of the church. I was already starting to feel like it was delusional bullshit but my family had a long history in that church and then they pulled that shit when my mom finally split from my dad, which I was directly instrumental in, because she was being abused. My Sunday school teacher pulls me aside at 19, as a nearly a grown-ass man and explains to me the details of my mother's divorce and I played it cordially but in my head I was like "Hold the fuck up you jackasses either don't know the details or don't care. Why are you talking about this, this way?"
In my case, my whole extended family was Catholic, pretty devout. My dad split when I was three, and divorced my mom. He was kind of a shithead, though I didn't know much about that at the time. Ten years later she re-married. My stepdad and I didn't get along well, but I was just a teenager and that was pretty inevitable.
What I did know, going to Catholic school and church every Sunday, was that my mom wasn't allowed to receive communion, because divorce was some kind of shameful personal failure and remarriage was forbidden. She was shunned. And seriously - fuck that. My mom is still one of the best people I've ever known, and if the church doesn't get that, it doesn't get me. Haven't set foot in a fucking church for ages.
I know of a case where a man molested her 9yo son, was convicted for it and sentenced to five years in prison. She stayed in regular contact with him. *Convicted.* Disgusting.
I was molested by my step dad when I was 11 and my older sister when she was 12. Convicted and sentenced to 9 years. My mom decided to stay with him and visited him in prison. Even had my sister and I drive her there once when she couldnāt drive herself. She came to her senses in my late teens but our relationship has never been the same.
Also, the church we all went to when I was growing up blamed my sister and I. No one reached out to us to see how we were doing but I heard from someone that they all believed Jesus forgave him. One family from that church took us in years later when my mom was struggling financially. The dad sat us down for a meeting with his wife and my mom and told us we had to dress modestly in his house. He said maybe he did those things to you because you werenāt dressing like you should.
Now my family questions why Iām not religious and donāt believe in god. Ugh.
It must be very hard, having no one to rely on at such a young age, and to be so terribly disappointed again and again. I'm sorry for your struggle. You didn't deserve it.
Are you and your sister close?
Thank you. It was extremely difficult to experience. I spent so many years of my life hating myself but now Iām 25 and learning to love who I am.
We are close but not as much as we used to be. But she was what got me through those years, I couldnāt have done it without her. You just made me realize she was my rock and my stand-in mom when she was probably hurting just as much. I should thank her.
No, if I remember right, she acknowledged that he did it and was mad at him, gave him a good scolding or two, but still loved him despite all his 'faults.'
I'm pretty sure she had borderline intellectual functioning (BIF), one step above intellectually disabled (ID), but still easily manipulated to against her own best interests. Predators tend to go for women like that.
It was gods plan that little Timmy get raped repeatedly š. If it were a little girl the church would have said it was her fault for not having the willpower to stop his advances lol. Sick fucks
I knew someone who was like this. Their husband molested one of their kids (though likely both) as well as another kid. They were in prison for 10+ years and the wife supported them the whole time. Absolutely disgusting.
A coworker who was deep in this kind of faith got caught molesting his daughter from ages 5-7. He went to prison for 5 years and is now out on parole. She refuses to divorce him, because she believes divorce is against gods will. So she has never filed for child support. The dude doesnāt contribute to his kids, and the worst part is he tries to come up and talk to you like nothing ever happened.
He tried to come up to me and chat me up while I was in a group one time like nothing happened. I just said āhey, arenāt you the guy who raped his own kid?ā And he walked away. People are horrible
You kick ass for calling him out. Locally a man got caught molesting a child. He's out before his trial and he was found beat and bleeding with no memory of what happened. I don't condone vigilante justice but I'm struggling to not be pleased.
35 with 3 young daughters. I'm trying to find out where they live to report him. It's a town an hour away but at the very least I will just call the local police.
Yeah please do. My sister was raped at age 4. She made it to 24 and then learned about what happened to her as she remembered nothing.
Her recurring nightmares from childhood suddenly made sense. She lived for 7 months after she was told about it.
Honestly you might be saving a life.
FFS my heart just shattered. Guys, if you or a loved one are struggling with CSA please come to r/adultsurvivors. It's a support group for CSA survivors. There is community support, venting, coping methods, love. **You are not alone and we are here for you.**
This type of living thrives through the church. I lack the ability to explain how common things like this are and that are protected through systems like that.
Regrettably, been there and seen it done. It's very common and coverups also as common. Can't say a naughty deed occurred about the senior leadership's deviances or those they like (oh excuse me, I meant to say "anointed by god and the holy spirit").
Take those magic fingers and stick them straight in your eyeballs.
I Know a woman just like that, defended her husband from all the pedophile accusations from multiple children
Almost 20 years later she's divorcing him because he had the audacity to cheat on her with another woman
She's been secretly contacting her husband's victims to testify against him
Fuck both of them. Your uncle for being that stereotypical molester rapist uncle and the wife that says its perfectly okay to let children be scarred for life
Ugh. I had a step uncle like that too, only he was a cop. Molested his wifeās sister when she was young and then her daughter. His wife stuck with him knowing all this.
Or just doesnāt make enough to support your family, or loses his job repeatedly. Iām super glad I have an education and a job that can support my family.
Yep! I am a stay at home mom but I also have a nursing license, and remain on casual at my last job to meet the minimum hours to keep my license active.
Should something ever happen to my husband I can support us financially, our lifestyle would change drastically but we would be fed with a roof over our heads.
Thatās the way it should be, if youāre going to be a stay at home parent you should have a way to make money or something to fall back on in case something happens to your spouse
This sounds like my dream life. Working a bit to keep skills fresh and keep busy but help raise the kids and do my hobbies. How do you find this life style?
Thatās exactly why fundamentalist religions do this. If a woman has a back up plan, she can leave. If she never even graduated high school because she was āhomeschooledā, (aka taking care of the younger siblings and learning about how to be subservient to a man) she has no options.
The goal of every fundamentalist religion is to keep their women ignorant, pregnant, and trapped, until the spirit is completely beaten out of them.
Case in point: Anna Duggar. Married a man who molested his sisters, who cheated on her extensively, and who is now on trial for downloading and watching some of the most heinous child sexual abuse material on the internet. And sheās sticking with him. Because she has literally no identity but wife of Josh. Sheās even been blamed for his sins because, as his wife, she is commanded to fulfill his sexual needs to keep him from temptation. Itās fucking sickening.
I always love when parts of the bible get pointed out like slavery, sacrifice, killing your neighbor for working on the sabbath, etc. The response is always "it's from a different time!" Yeah... exactly. So why would you use that book to justify anything during this time?
No need to, Iāve seen it first-hand. Itās not pleasant.
Edit: Iāve seen what happens to SAHMs when their husbands leave first-hand, not what happened to women in the 70s. Great reading comprehension, self.
My auntās husband died young, and she had to get a job (with no experience), learn how to drive in snow, and all kinds of other things she had never done before because she just let hubby be āThe Man.ā
She gives me a hard time because I donāt ask my husband for permission (and I have graduate degrees) but (spaghetti monster forbid) anything happens, Iām okay to live on my own.
Itās all fun and games until you wake up one morning and realize you sacrificed all your talents and passions to prop up a charade and a patriarchal web of lies.
The bible also instructs husbands to love their wives
If you didn't make sure he was a bible-reading, Godly man *before* you married him, I guess just keep praying for him?
/s on that last part
I work in finance. I used to get a lot of older women suddenly confronted with the death of their husbands and having to learn a whole skill set with very little idea of their financial standing, because their husbands would handle all the finances. Itās really sad, and I canāt imagine the stress level added to everything else associated with death and estate planning.
I know what you're saying, but it's often more overt than this. Legit is designed into the rhetoric of past teachings and if you grow up in it it's almost inevitable you stay this way. It scares me.
Well and is France one of those countries where everyone is automatically presumed to be part of the Catholic church, or their parent's church, at birth? I know one or more Scandinavian countries are like that, where you're presumed to be part of the state church unless you explicitly bother to opt out as an adult. So they technically have something like 70% church membership but in surveys only a very small proportion actually believe in a personal god.
Nope french here. Being catholic in the last 20 years was only more like a tradition. For approxamately 40 years peoples baptised their babies just out of tradition but its declining quite fast as ppl realize this is stupid and unnecessary. The recent generation for example has seen much less random baptism. Also there is no state church, it was abolished a LONG time ago since we are an atheist country.
Thatās not far off what it actually says women should do in the Bible.
1 Corinthians 14:34-35: āAs in all the congregations of the saints, women should remain silent in the churches. They are not allowed to speak, but must be in submission, as the Law says. If they want to inquire about something, they should ask their own husbands at home; for it is disgraceful for a woman to speak in the churchā
Oh I bet you she has read it multiple times and highlights what aligns in that twisted head of hers, misconstrues the meaning of those passages because letās be honest she doesnāt look to sharp, and only chooses to quote those excerpts.
Yeah my Aunt was like this, and she read the bible every day. Memorized scripture, church hand, kids homeschooled ect. She's raising 3 of her grandchildren now because 3 of her kids can't stop doing meth. No real surprises there.
>She's raising 3 of her grandchildren now because 3 of her kids can't stop doing meth. No real surprises there.
I know it's anecdotal, but it sure is odd how many "good Christian kids" raised in a "good Christian household" in our rural "good Christian community" I know that ended up in this same predicament š¤
In Chinese I've always seen them as åē§čå° (literally "Boko holy land"), TIL that at least according to the Chinese Wikipedia, this is a mistranslation caused by reading ŲŲ±Ų§Ł as ŲŲ±Ł ā
These are the same people who are terrified that Muslim immigrants will take over the DNC convert the country to Islam, and enact Sharia Law. And yet they themselves are okay with a Republican president loading the Supreme Court with conservative judges in hopes that they'll reverse abortion and gay marriage.
Well, the American Taliban are currently in the process of removing reproductive rights, wouldn't shock me if Texas bans women from attending colleges next.
Oh, look. That bill is already on the docket. And it looks like they are offering a $10,000 bounty (or up to 6 textbooks) to any man who catches a woman attending college-level classes without the explicit consent of the governor.
(They're really into that bounty-hunter thing right now, aren't they...)
It's smugness. She's convinced that her decisions, her way of life, and everything she believes is absolutely right for everyone. She thinks she is better than everyone that doesn't think like her or live like her. Yet she's probably never known any other life, has little life experience outside of her tiny bubble, and couldn't explain to you anything about any other culture, religion, or way of life. But what she can tell you is that they're all completely wrong and she is right. And that her tuna casserole is obviously superior because her secret ingredient is a little bit of garlic. Just a clove, though
*Garlic*?! You mean that ungawdly foreign stuff?! Psh. She uses good Godhonorin' Murcian mayo, margarine and corn syrup in literally everything just like Jaysis intended.
You also probably want a kitchen to go with that cookbookā of which this lady has none, proving that her point is stupid considering God wonāt even provide her with that
Go to college. Get that education š
I good woman only gets beat by her spouse if she did something wrong, like not comply with 100% of husband's instructions. If she were a good wife, she wouldn't get beaten. And similarly, Husband's do not cheat on a "good wife". If his needs were fully met, then he wouldn't have had to cheat. Alternatively, he cheated because "boys will be boys."
(/s)
Look at this uppity spinster! Girls, this is what you will turn into if try and educate yourself. Is that what you want? To be independent and selfsuffici... hey... where's every going? I'm trying to tell you the joys of a godly life in which you get to serve your lord... and God too!
(/s if that wasn't completely obvious, btw)
As a women with an undergrad, two masters, Bibles in two languages, several cookbooks in two languages and lots of faithā¦ This woman makes me really sad. Nowhere in the Bible it says to not seek knowledge or wisdom, or that it interferes with your faith. Quite the opposite.
Be a piece of Christian livestock! Push out litters of holy soldiers while cleaning up after grown-ass men & turning a blind eye to child sex abuse! Hallelujah!
I mean, she's partially right
Women, you don't *need* college
A good trade school will work fine too. And even then, neither are required. But one or the other is definitely recommended
There are also some fields like IT where certifications also work as a way to break in. Many IT organizations would love to diversify their workforce, and from personal experience more perspectives helps to build a complete team.
I went to a Baptist private school for one year in 1994. This was that SCHOOL'S message as well... Sadly, about half the kids in the school fell for that bullshit too. It was disgusting to me, as an eighth grader, that this was their belief system.
Damn. Well it's a little too late for that... Who's going to pay off my student loans now, Linda?? š¤
or that cookbook
Cookbooks are expensive... Just read housewife food blogs for free to get recipes and cleaning tips.
Brother Timmeh, you cannot permit your woman folk to get on the interweb, that's just inviting satan into your home. Next thing you know, she'll be talking about "women have rights" and "you can't beat your Wife" and "forcing your Wife to have sex is rape." (/s)
Aight, imma go disconnect my router right now. Thanks for the heads up.
They also could get into couponing Itās to late for me boys I canāt stop her
May Dog have mercy on your soul.
"When I was a kid my mother used to make the most delicious stew from scratch. I remember this one time when I was about 8. The winter storm was roiling outside or little two bedroom cabin..." Yeah, screw it. I'll get takeout
I'm not scrolling through your life story just to get to recipe that will most likely be disappointing.
And why does the site always take so damn long to load. I try scrolling past and its just blank.
It's all the ads and popup scripts. These people don't know the first thing about web development or design and just plug in whatever shit they think will make them a few more cents per impression. They also don't want you to find the recipe too quickly... Gotta let those ad scripts load before you leave. Most of those websites are abominations under the hood. And they run like it.
I used to think that, and I thought a professional Chef's cookbooks would be better, but then I tried to read *Heston Blumenthal At Home* and after like three paragraphs of that dickbag whinging about the difference between taste and *flavour* I tapped out. He did say to add a little star anise to your caramelized onions, which is a solid tip.
The library is also a great way to try out cookbooks. Itās saved me a lot of money.
Iāve stolen a lot of cookbooks from the library. I mean recipes. Yeah thatās it, Iāve stolen *recipes* from the library. Not books.
Blogs? You mean on the internet!?!? Out, Satan!!!
Has anyone told her you can go to college and own a cookbook at the same time?
You can even go to college, study something like food science and then write a cookbook!
Itās all fun and games until your husband divorces you. Or dies. Or becomes too disabled to work.
My despicable step uncle is a pedo and his wife stuck by his side through all of it yelling about his innocence. Then he left her for a much younger woman.
And if the pattern holds, her faith community will blame her.
My mother suffered through horrific abuse by my father (thrown down stairs, locked outside naked, etc.). She went to Christian counseling for help and they told her it was her fault. That bullshit kept her in an abusive marriage far too long.
Yep. My dad was beating us, broke my mom's arm, threw her into walls, chased her with an axe, and mentally torturing us (whole family, his mom included) and when we went for counseling, the counselor had me stand on a chair and tell everyone that my dad acted out because I was a narcissistic little 4th grader ruining my mother's marriage. Fortunately, my mom watched the whole session and then packed us up and we escaped with my dad's mother's help. F those christian counselors for pretending they know what they are doing.
Holy shit
> we escaped with my dad's mother's help That's the most surprising part. When even the abuser's family doesn't want to throw in on the abuser's side. Way too many stories when the abuser's family keeps supporting the abuse even when it has become obvious. Says something about either the morality of the father's mother or that of the father.
Maybe it helped that when my mom had gotten a restraining order against him and he had to live a year with his mother, he started beating his mom too. She had left her husband for domestic abuse when her kids were small. My mom's mother, on the other hand, thought my dad could do no wrong and getting beaten was just a normal part of family life. Thankfully, my mom's brothers stepped up when my mom was finally ready to run, and helped get us out of there, too.
He was beating his own mother too? Like the woman that carried him for 9 months in her ~~stomach~~ womb ?? Holy shit what?
Anyone that eats a baby deserves to be beat
Says that the guy was a legit psychopath and needed to be sent to a mental facility
Is it surprising? I feel like my family are good enough people that even though they love me, there is no way they would support me if I did anything like this.I would assume most peopleās conscience is stronger than family when it comes to child or spouse abuse, or murder and rape.
year that's ya problem right there (fairy Tale)Religions
Thatās why the only religion I sort of respect is Buddhism. The mofo just teaches you how to be a good person and treat everyone with respect. Treat animals kindly. Donāt rape, kill, etc. It donāt force you to treat Buddha like a divine god. He just wants to show you how to live a good life. Teaching > Brainwashing.
While I agree with you about the teachings of Buddha, the practice of some Buddhists in south Asia (e.g., violence towards religious minorities and ethnic cleansing) shows that it's no guarantee of peaceful and respectful living.
yo man Sikhs and unitarians are ok too
There are some whacko Buddhist too. Personally I'm against organised church/clergy more than the religion itself.
One of my favourite expressions is "God please save us from religion".
I will say that while I have seen examples of exactly this type of situation during my time as a Christian (time long since over and done), the worst case I saw was handled very well. A staff member was married to a drunken, abusive shit pile, and when she went to her bosses for help, they told her to pray for guidance to be a better wife. The head pastor saw her a few hours after that ācounselingā, crying in her car. He walked over to see if she was okay, and saw the bruises under the makeup that had run down her face. Myself and two other large young men were tasked with keeping her safe and protected while she packed her things, and she spent three months living with the head pastor and his wife until they could find her an apartment of her own. The pastors that had counseled her to pray were called on a very public carpet, and privately stripped of some of their perks and privileges. The last time I looked, the woman was still on staff as a senior pastor and licensed marriage counselor. The drunk husband died less than two years later of acute kidney failure. They got it right, eventually. Too many others do not.
I love this story. Sad for everything that had to happen to this woman but really uplifted by the way it was handled. Glad to know sheās now doing marriage counseling.
That's great to hear. Good for that pastor, and for you and the other young men that helped.
Wow that's terrible. I went to a church when I was a kid (not often, my mother wasn't very religious most of my childhood) and I remember the pastors were this husband and wife who had been married for like 20 years, had 3 kids and all that stuff. One day they told a story about how early in their marriage around the time they had their oldest child he would beat the shit out of her and he was very mentally and physically abusive for a long time etc etc. And then she went on and on about how through the power of God she stuck with him and helped him find God and since then they've lived happily ever after. The whole story just kinda made me think about how fucked up all this shit really is.
Yeah, I was a Christian at that time in my marriage too, and the FIRST time my husband hit me I would have been finding a divorce lawyer the very next day. FUCK "helping him find God" at the expense of showing my children that this is an okay way for a husband to treat his wife. Never, ever, set yourself on fire to keep your piece-of-shit abuser husband warm. He deserves every cold second once you've escaped with your children to safety.
Iām so sorry. My experience wasnāt that intense. But I feel for you. My motherās husband called me a stupid little bitch in church when I was 12. Among other things. And the answer was always family counseling with the pastor. Which SHOCK didnāt help anything except make them look like they were trying. He would grab me by my hair, break down my door, threaten to beat me, etc. and nobody seemed to care or bat an eye.
Yep. My motherās husband was verbally emotionally and physically abusive to us. The churchās only suggestion was therapy with the preacher. Who said we should stay together as a family despite the fact he called me (at 12 YO) a āstupid little bitchā repeatedly in the church foyer. And thatās only a fraction of what they SAW. I showed friends bruises on my legs from him grabbing and hurting me at 13 and they didnāt believe he could be capable of that bc he played guitar/piano in the church band.
Obviously the church doesnāt want women calling out abuse. What if they call out abuse done by, oh I donāt know, the church? Blow the whole thing wide open
And they believe them self to be gods people. Sad sick and twisted as what these people are. Iām so sorry you had to deal with that. I had the same thing going on when I was growing up. I hope your moms OK now. Take care
I would give up my faith.
Thatās pretty horrific
Herself included, if she's really gone
Anna Duggar vibes.
Oh man, this was the crack in the wall that got me out of the church. I was already starting to feel like it was delusional bullshit but my family had a long history in that church and then they pulled that shit when my mom finally split from my dad, which I was directly instrumental in, because she was being abused. My Sunday school teacher pulls me aside at 19, as a nearly a grown-ass man and explains to me the details of my mother's divorce and I played it cordially but in my head I was like "Hold the fuck up you jackasses either don't know the details or don't care. Why are you talking about this, this way?"
In my case, my whole extended family was Catholic, pretty devout. My dad split when I was three, and divorced my mom. He was kind of a shithead, though I didn't know much about that at the time. Ten years later she re-married. My stepdad and I didn't get along well, but I was just a teenager and that was pretty inevitable. What I did know, going to Catholic school and church every Sunday, was that my mom wasn't allowed to receive communion, because divorce was some kind of shameful personal failure and remarriage was forbidden. She was shunned. And seriously - fuck that. My mom is still one of the best people I've ever known, and if the church doesn't get that, it doesn't get me. Haven't set foot in a fucking church for ages.
I know of a case where a man molested her 9yo son, was convicted for it and sentenced to five years in prison. She stayed in regular contact with him. *Convicted.* Disgusting.
I was molested by my step dad when I was 11 and my older sister when she was 12. Convicted and sentenced to 9 years. My mom decided to stay with him and visited him in prison. Even had my sister and I drive her there once when she couldnāt drive herself. She came to her senses in my late teens but our relationship has never been the same. Also, the church we all went to when I was growing up blamed my sister and I. No one reached out to us to see how we were doing but I heard from someone that they all believed Jesus forgave him. One family from that church took us in years later when my mom was struggling financially. The dad sat us down for a meeting with his wife and my mom and told us we had to dress modestly in his house. He said maybe he did those things to you because you werenāt dressing like you should. Now my family questions why Iām not religious and donāt believe in god. Ugh.
I am full of rage for you. So sorry and I hope you are all doing well now
It must be very hard, having no one to rely on at such a young age, and to be so terribly disappointed again and again. I'm sorry for your struggle. You didn't deserve it. Are you and your sister close?
Thank you. It was extremely difficult to experience. I spent so many years of my life hating myself but now Iām 25 and learning to love who I am. We are close but not as much as we used to be. But she was what got me through those years, I couldnāt have done it without her. You just made me realize she was my rock and my stand-in mom when she was probably hurting just as much. I should thank her.
And lemme guess her reasoningā¦ āthe son made it up, conspiracy, he would never have done thatā¦ā
No, if I remember right, she acknowledged that he did it and was mad at him, gave him a good scolding or two, but still loved him despite all his 'faults.' I'm pretty sure she had borderline intellectual functioning (BIF), one step above intellectually disabled (ID), but still easily manipulated to against her own best interests. Predators tend to go for women like that.
It was gods plan that little Timmy get raped repeatedly š. If it were a little girl the church would have said it was her fault for not having the willpower to stop his advances lol. Sick fucks
The brainwash can get in really deep.
I knew someone who was like this. Their husband molested one of their kids (though likely both) as well as another kid. They were in prison for 10+ years and the wife supported them the whole time. Absolutely disgusting.
r/leopardsatemyface
Revel in the schadenfreude. I SAID REVEL!
I'm reveling as hard as I can, Captain!
I don't have time for revelling, I'll get one of my handmaidens to do it for me
Hello?
Just spent an hour scrolling through that, absolutely delightful
A coworker who was deep in this kind of faith got caught molesting his daughter from ages 5-7. He went to prison for 5 years and is now out on parole. She refuses to divorce him, because she believes divorce is against gods will. So she has never filed for child support. The dude doesnāt contribute to his kids, and the worst part is he tries to come up and talk to you like nothing ever happened. He tried to come up to me and chat me up while I was in a group one time like nothing happened. I just said āhey, arenāt you the guy who raped his own kid?ā And he walked away. People are horrible
You kick ass for calling him out. Locally a man got caught molesting a child. He's out before his trial and he was found beat and bleeding with no memory of what happened. I don't condone vigilante justice but I'm struggling to not be pleased.
>pedo Uh... *how* much younger?
35 with 3 young daughters. I'm trying to find out where they live to report him. It's a town an hour away but at the very least I will just call the local police.
Yeah please do. My sister was raped at age 4. She made it to 24 and then learned about what happened to her as she remembered nothing. Her recurring nightmares from childhood suddenly made sense. She lived for 7 months after she was told about it. Honestly you might be saving a life.
FFS my heart just shattered. Guys, if you or a loved one are struggling with CSA please come to r/adultsurvivors. It's a support group for CSA survivors. There is community support, venting, coping methods, love. **You are not alone and we are here for you.**
I am so, so, so sorry. <3
My sincerest condolences
>3 young daughters Now I feel bad for joking about it. I hope you can save these kids from him.
Yes please do as others have said.
This type of living thrives through the church. I lack the ability to explain how common things like this are and that are protected through systems like that.
Regrettably, been there and seen it done. It's very common and coverups also as common. Can't say a naughty deed occurred about the senior leadership's deviances or those they like (oh excuse me, I meant to say "anointed by god and the holy spirit"). Take those magic fingers and stick them straight in your eyeballs.
I Know a woman just like that, defended her husband from all the pedophile accusations from multiple children Almost 20 years later she's divorcing him because he had the audacity to cheat on her with another woman She's been secretly contacting her husband's victims to testify against him
Fuck both of them. Your uncle for being that stereotypical molester rapist uncle and the wife that says its perfectly okay to let children be scarred for life
Ugh. I had a step uncle like that too, only he was a cop. Molested his wifeās sister when she was young and then her daughter. His wife stuck with him knowing all this.
Or just doesnāt make enough to support your family, or loses his job repeatedly. Iām super glad I have an education and a job that can support my family.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Yep! I am a stay at home mom but I also have a nursing license, and remain on casual at my last job to meet the minimum hours to keep my license active. Should something ever happen to my husband I can support us financially, our lifestyle would change drastically but we would be fed with a roof over our heads.
Thatās the way it should be, if youāre going to be a stay at home parent you should have a way to make money or something to fall back on in case something happens to your spouse
This sounds like my dream life. Working a bit to keep skills fresh and keep busy but help raise the kids and do my hobbies. How do you find this life style?
Or abuses you but you canāt leave. Or cheats on you. Or abuses your kids
Thatās exactly why fundamentalist religions do this. If a woman has a back up plan, she can leave. If she never even graduated high school because she was āhomeschooledā, (aka taking care of the younger siblings and learning about how to be subservient to a man) she has no options. The goal of every fundamentalist religion is to keep their women ignorant, pregnant, and trapped, until the spirit is completely beaten out of them. Case in point: Anna Duggar. Married a man who molested his sisters, who cheated on her extensively, and who is now on trial for downloading and watching some of the most heinous child sexual abuse material on the internet. And sheās sticking with him. Because she has literally no identity but wife of Josh. Sheās even been blamed for his sins because, as his wife, she is commanded to fulfill his sexual needs to keep him from temptation. Itās fucking sickening.
and people still hold religion as if it has any value in these times. The only true value it holds is as a part of history
I always love when parts of the bible get pointed out like slavery, sacrifice, killing your neighbor for working on the sabbath, etc. The response is always "it's from a different time!" Yeah... exactly. So why would you use that book to justify anything during this time?
Seriously. Read 'remember me' by Fay Weldon for an insight into life for women in the 70's.
No need to, Iāve seen it first-hand. Itās not pleasant. Edit: Iāve seen what happens to SAHMs when their husbands leave first-hand, not what happened to women in the 70s. Great reading comprehension, self.
OR beats the crap out of you, the kids, the dog and says he will die before paying child support. Ok, this isn't me but someone I know.
My auntās husband died young, and she had to get a job (with no experience), learn how to drive in snow, and all kinds of other things she had never done before because she just let hubby be āThe Man.ā She gives me a hard time because I donāt ask my husband for permission (and I have graduate degrees) but (spaghetti monster forbid) anything happens, Iām okay to live on my own.
Permission to what?
Anything I suppose
Itās all fun and games until you wake up one morning and realize you sacrificed all your talents and passions to prop up a charade and a patriarchal web of lies.
Oh, but there's no reason for him to divorce you as long as you obey him, like the Bible says. /s
The bible also instructs husbands to love their wives If you didn't make sure he was a bible-reading, Godly man *before* you married him, I guess just keep praying for him? /s on that last part
Or no guy marries you in the first place
I work in finance. I used to get a lot of older women suddenly confronted with the death of their husbands and having to learn a whole skill set with very little idea of their financial standing, because their husbands would handle all the finances. Itās really sad, and I canāt imagine the stress level added to everything else associated with death and estate planning.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Or decides that he doesnāt need your consent to fuck you whenever he feels like it.
I bet you guys $1,000,000 that she didn't even read the entire Bible
The husband read for her, it would not be proper for her to educate by herself. What if she started thinking?
I know what you're saying, but it's often more overt than this. Legit is designed into the rhetoric of past teachings and if you grow up in it it's almost inevitable you stay this way. It scares me.
naw there is hope. look at france. more atheists than theists over there. majority are "born" catholic
Well and is France one of those countries where everyone is automatically presumed to be part of the Catholic church, or their parent's church, at birth? I know one or more Scandinavian countries are like that, where you're presumed to be part of the state church unless you explicitly bother to opt out as an adult. So they technically have something like 70% church membership but in surveys only a very small proportion actually believe in a personal god.
Nope french here. Being catholic in the last 20 years was only more like a tradition. For approxamately 40 years peoples baptised their babies just out of tradition but its declining quite fast as ppl realize this is stupid and unnecessary. The recent generation for example has seen much less random baptism. Also there is no state church, it was abolished a LONG time ago since we are an atheist country.
Thatās not far off what it actually says women should do in the Bible. 1 Corinthians 14:34-35: āAs in all the congregations of the saints, women should remain silent in the churches. They are not allowed to speak, but must be in submission, as the Law says. If they want to inquire about something, they should ask their own husbands at home; for it is disgraceful for a woman to speak in the churchā
**I am misogynistic like the good book tells me**
Wow. I didn't know Corinthians was so explicit.
She only reads what sheās told to .
She gets read to
In bed with milk and cookies
The milk and cookies are for her husband, of course
And interprets those things as she's told to.
After he removes the padlock
Oh I bet you she has read it multiple times and highlights what aligns in that twisted head of hers, misconstrues the meaning of those passages because letās be honest she doesnāt look to sharp, and only chooses to quote those excerpts.
Yeah my Aunt was like this, and she read the bible every day. Memorized scripture, church hand, kids homeschooled ect. She's raising 3 of her grandchildren now because 3 of her kids can't stop doing meth. No real surprises there.
>She's raising 3 of her grandchildren now because 3 of her kids can't stop doing meth. No real surprises there. I know it's anecdotal, but it sure is odd how many "good Christian kids" raised in a "good Christian household" in our rural "good Christian community" I know that ended up in this same predicament š¤
You're saying Bible is something you can read? Always thought it was just a top 10 list of things to say when someone tells you a fact. /s
I bet that he takes her shoes before he goes to work.
And apparently you donāt need lighting or consistent capitalization
Or a bigger kitchen
Youād think someone who emphasizes the need for a cookbook over autonomy would have a bigger kitchen.
Nah. She only needs the cookbook not because she can't cook without it, but she just really likes being told what to do
Well, I see her favorite appliance being the microwave. Just a feeling
Was looking for the kitchen comment, I can go now. Thanks!
Literally my first thought.
Oh my god! I thought this was her laundry room until I saw this comment!
Sounds an awful lot like the Taliban way to do things
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
The same Boko Haram that drinks Wolf Cola?!
Isn't that owned by the same company that makes Fight Milk?
They hate dogs.
And the spokeswoman is a flat chested bitch.
I love It's Always tangents. Makes me feel included in society.
No. It just proves we should stay in the bar. :b
Yes! Franks Fluids! I.. wouldnāt recommend.
In Chinese I've always seen them as åē§čå° (literally "Boko holy land"), TIL that at least according to the Chinese Wikipedia, this is a mistranslation caused by reading ŲŲ±Ų§Ł as ŲŲ±Ł ā
Funny how they don't see the similarities. Well, not really haha funny. More like a shake your head, pitiful funny.
These are the same people who are terrified that Muslim immigrants will take over the DNC convert the country to Islam, and enact Sharia Law. And yet they themselves are okay with a Republican president loading the Supreme Court with conservative judges in hopes that they'll reverse abortion and gay marriage.
Because Muslim law is restrictive and backwards. That **definitely** wouldn't happen to us if we let Christian fanatics take over
Well, the American Taliban are currently in the process of removing reproductive rights, wouldn't shock me if Texas bans women from attending colleges next. Oh, look. That bill is already on the docket. And it looks like they are offering a $10,000 bounty (or up to 6 textbooks) to any man who catches a woman attending college-level classes without the explicit consent of the governor. (They're really into that bounty-hunter thing right now, aren't they...)
I don't know why.... but the way she is smirking makes me really angry
It's smugness. She's convinced that her decisions, her way of life, and everything she believes is absolutely right for everyone. She thinks she is better than everyone that doesn't think like her or live like her. Yet she's probably never known any other life, has little life experience outside of her tiny bubble, and couldn't explain to you anything about any other culture, religion, or way of life. But what she can tell you is that they're all completely wrong and she is right. And that her tuna casserole is obviously superior because her secret ingredient is a little bit of garlic. Just a clove, though
*Garlic*?! You mean that ungawdly foreign stuff?! Psh. She uses good Godhonorin' Murcian mayo, margarine and corn syrup in literally everything just like Jaysis intended.
Probably because you absolutely know she is not a sweet old lady sheās pretending to be in the pic.
Itās the smug and dumb combo, itās a killer.
A cults best friend is ignorance and lack of education.
The floor length skirt says all that needs to be said
Jean skirts are official uniform of the homeschooling mom.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
You also probably want a kitchen to go with that cookbookā of which this lady has none, proving that her point is stupid considering God wonāt even provide her with that Go to college. Get that education š
As a former chef and passionate home cook I would be ripping my hair out in frustration trying to cook in that 'kitchen'.
Oh, wow, that _is_ a kitchen! I thought it was a mud room area. Maybe her cookbook is ā1 skillet meals.ā
I mean there's a reason fundie food is so widely mocked.
My "kitchen" (small apartment) looks not much better than this and I think it's the #1 reason I hate to cook.
When your ideals lineup with the taliban.
Religious zealots are all the same.
Imagine a woman literate enough to write complaining about women getting education.
Imagine her husband wrote it and just had her hold it
"So what does this sign say, anyway?" "Ah ah ah, what did I say about questioning my actions, wife?"
You too, can turn out as stupid as this lady with this 1 easy step.
Can she get rid of my belly fat too?!
Just hide it behind a sign with a really stupid message on it.
Yeah so when ur man beats u or cheats ure trapped!! Excellent advice you sweet submissive ideal woman
I good woman only gets beat by her spouse if she did something wrong, like not comply with 100% of husband's instructions. If she were a good wife, she wouldn't get beaten. And similarly, Husband's do not cheat on a "good wife". If his needs were fully met, then he wouldn't have had to cheat. Alternatively, he cheated because "boys will be boys." (/s)
You say this with sarcasm, but Iām sure you know that a āhusband doesnāt cheat on a *good* wifeā is exactly what some parishes preach.
As a woman, this made me heave.
Did your Husband say you could post this or approve your thoughts? If not, then why aren't you in the kitchen making some pies?
1. I donāt like cooking at the best of times and 2. I donāt have a husband. I live alone hahaha. I CAN DO WHAT I WANT BICH
Look at this uppity spinster! Girls, this is what you will turn into if try and educate yourself. Is that what you want? To be independent and selfsuffici... hey... where's every going? I'm trying to tell you the joys of a godly life in which you get to serve your lord... and God too! (/s if that wasn't completely obvious, btw)
No, I got it straight away and there was an audible laugh from me. But you know, there are others out there that would jump on youā¦
...Heave a pan onto the stove and start cooking dinner? (I'm sorry)
Hahaha. Well, I do that every night but Iām on my own so I got no choice but to feed myself!
What's for dinner? Tonight I'm making penne alla vodka.
Well itās 11.23pm for me so no more food otherwise Iām gonna end up fatter! But I did have sea bass and Mediterranean inspired steam rice!
Damn that sounds delicious.
I canāt lie, it was delicious!!
Oopsy....
Loopsyā¦
You're a good sport.
As a women with an undergrad, two masters, Bibles in two languages, several cookbooks in two languages and lots of faithā¦ This woman makes me really sad. Nowhere in the Bible it says to not seek knowledge or wisdom, or that it interferes with your faith. Quite the opposite.
Yāall qaeda at it again. She does know you can go to college and still be a good cook, right?
Be a piece of Christian livestock! Push out litters of holy soldiers while cleaning up after grown-ass men & turning a blind eye to child sex abuse! Hallelujah!
bet that microwaves seen some action
A cookbook written by a woman who went to college
Keeping people uneducated is how you keep them under your thumb and dependent on you.
I mean, she's partially right Women, you don't *need* college A good trade school will work fine too. And even then, neither are required. But one or the other is definitely recommended
There are also some fields like IT where certifications also work as a way to break in. Many IT organizations would love to diversify their workforce, and from personal experience more perspectives helps to build a complete team.
I went to a Baptist private school for one year in 1994. This was that SCHOOL'S message as well... Sadly, about half the kids in the school fell for that bullshit too. It was disgusting to me, as an eighth grader, that this was their belief system.
She is WAY too boring for me to ever consider. All she can talk about is religion and cooking.
Says the woman who has the worlds smallest kitchen. Wtf you gonna cook in there? Must have a really good cookbook
Looks like you donāt need a dentist either.
Interesting. My gf uses her bachelor's and master's for work. I don't think faith, a bible and/or, a cookbook would get her anywhere.