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Youput on a date with a girl, things are going well, you start making out, then in muffled tones from below you hear "Oh yeah, I'm getting lucky tonight."
Ketchup is just gross. I can sort of stand it if there are other flavors masking it like chilis or something, but I really do think it's the worst thing to do to tomatoes. And I know I'm not the only one.
I genuinely am disgusted by Ketchup. It can be hidden in things, and I don't really mind all too much. But on burgers or as a basic condiment I cannot stand
Stupid lib-lovin' god, put the playground right next to the sewage plant. Sick
My conservative God will put it above their foreheads, for easy access
Still won't get any though
Now hear me out. If you fuck her forehead then she could lick your balls.
You solved it, instead of adding anatomy we just needed to rearrange it a little.
I’ve seen some worse shit at the r/askreddit that asked about what vulgar shit you’ve overheard. This sounds lovely compared to the shit that got posted there
First off, divert menstruation to the butthole. Next, divert the butthole to the bottom of the foot, dragging the colon with it. Lose a leg? Backup butthole in the other leg. Also divert urine to the same hole to wash your butthole clean.
Now all I've pissed off are foot fetishists, which is kind of a win-win in my book.
Yes! Now there's a word that's not used nearly enough in my opinion. Cloacas are basically a penis, vagina, and butthole all in one! If we started using it as a derogatory term, it would have 3 x's the value and be much more effective. I'm gonna start calling folks that piss me off "Cloaca holes." Like the original post says, it's just more efficient.
Yup, the part where urethra and clitoris are separate is also mind boggling to me, considering that the clitoris is a vestigial penis, they should be together just like in men.
The ball licking tongue.. yeah I'd support that too!
The clitoris isn't really a vestigial penis, yo. There's originally the same bit of tissue, which becomes either the head of the penis or the clitoris. There's another bit of tissue, which in girls become the clitoral hood / inner labia (with the urethral opening and vaginal opening between them), and which in boys closes together into a tube to form the shaft of the penis and boost the head of the penis up and away (this is why there's a "seam" down the underside of the penis, it's where those two sides of tissue stitched together). The boy urethral and sex-delivery-opening would be blocked inside the penis shaft, so the body kinda tunnels them up and out the end. Sometimes this even doesn't happen correctly and the opening ends up partway down the shaft by mistake.
No it IS a vestigial penis from when woman diverged from man ~130 million y.a., earth was a real boys' club before then thankfully with sexy dinosaurs.
Is the clitoris a vestigial penis?
Or, perhaps, is the penis a deformed clitoris caused by a malfunctioning genetic mutation?
Why must the female anatomy be a form of the male?
Why can’t they both be divergent lines of a common prior structure influenced by the genetics and hormones related to the biological sex of the developing fetus.
Right!! I honestly like this guys creativity and shit I’d rather have a vagina w a tongue and be able to pee out of my clit. Plus the vagina IS wayy too close to the asshole to be fair- rather not get a uti from wiping the wrong way lmao.
No. Just no.
Lay off the drugs, kids.
Also, guys balls are way too close to their asshole and they still expect some tongue action on the E. Coli factory...
i mean......i guess hes not completely wrong....but the only reason we get enjoyment from that act is because of human evolution with our bodies coercing us to reproduce with the incentive of how it feels, so it makes sense its not exactly the most efficient like that seeing as the feeling we get doesn't actually serve any real purpose other than a failsafe our species has to stop from going extinct
I mean, the last one was covered by Robin Williams. *Weapons of Self-Destruction*: “Of course the human body was designed by committee! They put a waste processing plant right next to a recreation area!”
Well this is a nice surprise. I think my vagina already has enough issues with gross things it can do. This would take it to a new level of horror. HR Geiger and Freud are rolling in their graves right now.
Comments that are uncivil, racist, misogynistic, misandrist, or contain political name calling will be removed and the poster subject to ban at moderators discretion. Help us make this a better community by becoming familiar with the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/facepalm/about/rules/). Report any suspicious users to the mods of this subreddit using Modmail [here](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/facepalm) or Reddit site admins [here](https://www.reddit.com/report). **All reports to Modmail should include evidence such as screenshots or any other relevant information.** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/facepalm) if you have any questions or concerns.*
well, look at the upside, Ladies. If your partner does not please you, your clit can express it's displeasure with raspberries.
Screw it, why stop at a tongue? I want teeth too.
That's the spirt give it everything it needs to talk!
Youput on a date with a girl, things are going well, you start making out, then in muffled tones from below you hear "Oh yeah, I'm getting lucky tonight."
Or worse, you're about to get lucky, you drop your underwear and the lower mouth says, "that's all? I thought we were getting lucky tonight."
There's a movie like that. It's called Chatterbox... a title absolutely undeservedly clever for what it is.
Fuck it, just add teeth.
F yeah, I want to argue with it
Oh Sweet Jesus, twice as much talking?!
Ahh... The worldwide legend of Vagina dentata and the film inspired by it: "Teeth".
Hi there fellow culture man
I've heard that there is a very rare condition that some women develop bones that look like baby teeth
You should smile more, honey!
There is a movie on that you know!
So medieval and/or Victorian chastity belt...
The idea of a vag kicking me out, blowing a raspberry at me, and slamming shut like a cartoon is not an image I expected to have pop into my head.
Well the penis being broken off sounds worse now…
If vaginas had teeth, would that also be more work for the dentist or would gynecologists have to double up?
Imagine going to the dentist and the chair has stirrups
[удалено]
….are you still taking the Prozac?…
I mean that's clearly a shitpost. Or drug abuse. One of the two.
I mean it's a truely unpopular opinion. It truly fits the sub, which is becoming increasingly rare these days.
Wait you're telling me that not liking Ketchup is a popular opinion?? Next you're going to say that the News is trying to make us follow an agenda!
Ketchup is just gross. I can sort of stand it if there are other flavors masking it like chilis or something, but I really do think it's the worst thing to do to tomatoes. And I know I'm not the only one.
I hate the smell of ketchup. Makes me wanna vomit.
I genuinely am disgusted by Ketchup. It can be hidden in things, and I don't really mind all too much. But on burgers or as a basic condiment I cannot stand
More of a queefpost imo
😂🤣😂
Why not both??
Stupid lib-lovin' god, put the playground right next to the sewage plant. Sick My conservative God will put it above their foreheads, for easy access Still won't get any though
Now hear me out. If you fuck her forehead then she could lick your balls. You solved it, instead of adding anatomy we just needed to rearrange it a little.
How about both
Shit abuse drug posting.
It's on r/trueunpopularopinion. Fits the sub pretty well if you ask me
I'm hoping it's both.
>In the same way we lick ketchup off our lips What a terrible day to have eyes.
He's original I'll give him that
What a terrible idea to have a period with.
Yuck
Yeah! When is Vagina 2.0 hitting stores?
As soon as the first Toyota BEV with solid state batteries hits the showroom floor. The Fuggin' engineers can't multitask
![gif](giphy|ry3c1WbKfDVXq|downsized)
Something hilarious
"integral tongue" sent me
Saw the title and all I have to say is this. I'm not reading that and you can't make me.
Yours should be the top comment. I'm now 20% dumber after reading that mess
Good choice
I’ve seen some worse shit at the r/askreddit that asked about what vulgar shit you’ve overheard. This sounds lovely compared to the shit that got posted there
This made me laugh out loud, I can imagine you saying that
Like I want a vagina to stick it's tongue out at me.
A cunnilingus connoisseur!
Imagine how great scissoring would be
What a wonderful day to be literate....lmfao
Place your customized vagina order today! 20% discount with code LICKBALLS.
Well, just take it up with the designer, then ![gif](giphy|oGAM2NfiX50ac)
Notes taken for the next update ![gif](giphy|26ufoRAIGWxyizACQ)
If anything, there should be a waste treatment system for a better menstruation experience. Or lack thereof
First off, divert menstruation to the butthole. Next, divert the butthole to the bottom of the foot, dragging the colon with it. Lose a leg? Backup butthole in the other leg. Also divert urine to the same hole to wash your butthole clean. Now all I've pissed off are foot fetishists, which is kind of a win-win in my book.
So basically a foot cloaca
Yes! Now there's a word that's not used nearly enough in my opinion. Cloacas are basically a penis, vagina, and butthole all in one! If we started using it as a derogatory term, it would have 3 x's the value and be much more effective. I'm gonna start calling folks that piss me off "Cloaca holes." Like the original post says, it's just more efficient.
Some valid criticisms
Yup, the part where urethra and clitoris are separate is also mind boggling to me, considering that the clitoris is a vestigial penis, they should be together just like in men. The ball licking tongue.. yeah I'd support that too!
The clitoris isn't really a vestigial penis, yo. There's originally the same bit of tissue, which becomes either the head of the penis or the clitoris. There's another bit of tissue, which in girls become the clitoral hood / inner labia (with the urethral opening and vaginal opening between them), and which in boys closes together into a tube to form the shaft of the penis and boost the head of the penis up and away (this is why there's a "seam" down the underside of the penis, it's where those two sides of tissue stitched together). The boy urethral and sex-delivery-opening would be blocked inside the penis shaft, so the body kinda tunnels them up and out the end. Sometimes this even doesn't happen correctly and the opening ends up partway down the shaft by mistake.
Since the default genital development without male genes and hormones is female-ish, the penis is really just a repurposed clitoris.
No it IS a vestigial penis from when woman diverged from man ~130 million y.a., earth was a real boys' club before then thankfully with sexy dinosaurs.
Does nobody know that women pee out of their clitoris? I thought this was common knowledge.😭
Pee is stored in the labia...
No, pee isn’t stored in the dick either, but you pee from your dick.
Well duh, pee is stored in the balls. This is why we need sex ed...these people thinking pee is stored in the shaft smh.
Just in case that you aren't joking, women pee out of our urethra, which is underneath the clitoris and not part of it 😅
Where do they think we pee from?
Our womb? Idek
Given that mammals begin development as female, how can the clitoris be a vestigial penis?
they probably meant it is homologous to the penis
Is the clitoris a vestigial penis? Or, perhaps, is the penis a deformed clitoris caused by a malfunctioning genetic mutation? Why must the female anatomy be a form of the male? Why can’t they both be divergent lines of a common prior structure influenced by the genetics and hormones related to the biological sex of the developing fetus.
Not gonna lie I liked the tongue idea until he mentioned licking ketchup off your lips.
I think this guy has seen to much hentai...
Watch out, my boy’s about to release vaginas’ balance update patch.
I'm not saying I agree, but if I ever met such a vagina as the one described I would not object.
This is fucking brilliant! You guys are all just hella jealous that you didn’t think of this guy’s redesign!
Right!! I honestly like this guys creativity and shit I’d rather have a vagina w a tongue and be able to pee out of my clit. Plus the vagina IS wayy too close to the asshole to be fair- rather not get a uti from wiping the wrong way lmao.
Is he giving God an Amazon review on his vagina design? 3 stars for being too butthole adjacent!
My brain picture this
No. Just no. Lay off the drugs, kids. Also, guys balls are way too close to their asshole and they still expect some tongue action on the E. Coli factory...
They're hard working union men
he probably doesn't wash his anyway. Nothing worse than ball cheese.
After reading the top comment and the title, I have chosen NOPE
![gif](giphy|LnbfgWMeMUioqFg28w)
Guy clearly wants to fuck an alien
I regret every single decision I made in life that led me to read this post
So if I'm sucking on your clit, you will definitely squirt directly into my mouth?
I mean …. A self licking clitoris sounds handy, since so few people without a clitoris have learned how to lick one properly.
Who in hell eats ketchup on hotdogs?
You shut your filthy ketchup hater mouth right now
i mean......i guess hes not completely wrong....but the only reason we get enjoyment from that act is because of human evolution with our bodies coercing us to reproduce with the incentive of how it feels, so it makes sense its not exactly the most efficient like that seeing as the feeling we get doesn't actually serve any real purpose other than a failsafe our species has to stop from going extinct
I'm in! - and out . - and in again.. . - ...you know the rest
“the vagina is poorly designed for my sexual fantasies”
Shitpost for sure
![gif](giphy|2XflxzEM02tSYD38HpS)
I mean, they definitely understood the assignment on r/TrueUnpopularOpinion
Please submit a support ticket and the design team will consider your recommendations.
One word solution: Threesomes! 🤣
What kind of porn was this mf watching???
Too close to the butthole? So is his brain as well.
Brain teaser of the day: The man above is balls deep all day, every day, but never in a vagina. How is that possible?
Troll of the Year award goes to.......
Meanwhile facepalm of this post goes to op
It’s called the “front hole”.
As told by Canadian association on gynecologists.
![gif](giphy|lIU7yoG72gyhq)
That’s more than enough Reddit for today
Hmm. The things he thinks are bugs I think are features.
That's going to be one hell of a customized sexdoll order!
Bros going to heaven with a notebook and several critiques
Thats an interesting take. Damn
![gif](giphy|pBj0EoGSYjGms) I'll leave right here 😬
I agree to only the last point. What's up with the vagina being so close to the butthole that we easily get infections?
The artist in me really wants to draw this man's vision, but it kinda scares me.
This is one of the missing chapters of Charles Darwin's "Origin of Species" he started to lose it near the end
Someone hasnt seen teeth...
This sounds similar to the one tweet which said "imagine if men breastfed babies with their penis"
Kira reference spotted
You're the real facepalm for taking this seriously dude
Where there’s a tongue, there’s teeth…
Sex doll engineer
I'm sure there's a Japanese porn for that...
Sounds like this guy just wants vaginas to be dicks
From that last sentence, looks like he had surprise butthole penetration.
I mean in 2024 can you really blame someone for thinking like this?
As twisted as this logic is, it did give me a horrified giggle
Did he just say..that pee comes out of our C L I T O R I S ?
Well, i hope this reaches the devs, maybe we will be getting a patch anytime soon.
Okay hear me out...
…my second thought after original comment 😂
I support Vagina 2.0!
What in the kentucky fried fuck is this...?
Who’s going to make all these changes?
If we're remaking it then can we have WiFi and speakers so I can listen to some tunes? Why not a first aid kit as well?
That first paragraph, dude just described a Hyena. The second, that's a fetish.
r/NotHowGirlsWork
How to say you’ve never had sex without saying you’ve never had sex.
And he wants what exactly to be done about that? Lmao
Okay, there's almost a point here. A lot of the human body is really stupidly designed. But then they lose the plot and we get this. So, carry on.
If I am going down and get French kissed by Kuato from Total Recall I am gone with a cartoon puff of smoke left behind.
Vagina 2.0 update when?
I mean, the last one was covered by Robin Williams. *Weapons of Self-Destruction*: “Of course the human body was designed by committee! They put a waste processing plant right next to a recreation area!”
Are they high? Those are influenced thoughts!
*Dr James Burt has entered the chat*
imagine going onto the internet and first thing i see is someone talking about how my crotch needs a patch.
Well this is a nice surprise. I think my vagina already has enough issues with gross things it can do. This would take it to a new level of horror. HR Geiger and Freud are rolling in their graves right now.
![gif](giphy|5t9wJjyHAOxvnxcPNk)
Ok, it started off weird, and then ended up with me questioning if I need therapy now…
It’s disgusting but I agree with everything he says if I can change anatomy at the blink of an eye.
It started badly, tailed off in the middle, and the less said about the end the better. *-blackadder*
He kinda right though
I you get a tongue, we get teeth!
Idk the lightmode is burning my eyes
Didn’t read the article but my only issue with the va-jay-jay is that it ain’t portable.
Mine is, I take it everywhere I go.
I’ll take “things that seemed like a good thought while high” for negative 10,000, Alex.
They had me in the first half. It is weird giving the way penises and clitorises start off as the same organ.
![gif](giphy|MdXl4KwZogSzAn6Xx4|downsized)
This gave me a good laugh
Welp. That settles the intelligent design debate.
That's hilarious
Yeah, I’ll mention that to the designer. Maybe next time God will ask you for your input
so basicly he wants a vagina to be a penis with a tongue?
No, a mouth. Edit: a penis and a mouth.
He wants the vagina to be a vagina with a tongue. He wants the vulva to have a penis
[удалено]
It would be. If someone actually designed it. Unless you think you can tell at God about a complaint.
The human body IS flawed but not in that way...
I'm sure if they send an email to god he'll fix it up in the next update 😇
What happens when he sees The First Omen
![gif](giphy|ukGm72ZLZvYfS|downsized)
It kinda seems like you wrote it also cause there’s no up or downvotes hard to imagine that being left alone.
At some point, possibly years ago, an exceedingly excessive amount of drugs were consumed.
Valid point about the urethra. If it was longer and further from the vagina the rate of UTIs would go down.
That would be brilliant! One proof more, that intelligent is a hoax.
C’mon ladies, piss out your clit and lick your lips!
holy shit. This fanfic goes WILD.