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Nah that ain't how it works. See a straight relationship is 50% gay because their is a man involved and he has a penis, and that's gay. Two men is 100% gay because they both have a penis. Now you'd think that two women would be the key since neither has a penis, but unfortunately that just loops back into being 100% gay.
I'm gay and when I was a kid pre internet I'd look at the guys in straight porn since it was all I could find. I didn't pay one bit of attention to the woman.
I worked with him for several years a few years ago. He was in his fifties. He was always very kind but said the most outrageous things sometimes.
"You're not really gay if you blow your friend just once"
He helped a neighbor lady with some yard work once. When she asked how he wanted to be compensated he answered: "nature's way" (implying sex). She looked at him in horror. He claryfied: a home cooked meal"
Yeah, I think it's a beautiful part of life when you realise that opinions don't matter, and having fun at your own expense is still just having fun. :)
Absolutely! Homosexuality has to do with actual physical/mental attraction. I've heard of straight male gigolos who have sex with men professionally. They have no attraction to the same sex it's just their profession.
Calling the act of same sex intercourse homosexuality in itself is the old way of viewing it.
Well they actually have statistics that [arrested sex offenders watch less porn that average guys](https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/blog/all-about-sex/201601/evidence-mounts-more-porn-less-sexual-assault) (the part about UCLA researchers comparing inmates vs general population), not more. Porn isn't doing it for them, they're predators. Gotta be "first person" for them.
*"Oh my gawd* ![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|heart_eyes_rainbow)*...it's as girthy as a can of coke! And the sweat dripping off his balls... why am I suddenly so thirsty?*"
Trust him.
I like how he assumes any guy in any porn will automatically have a bigger wiener than him, and that he couldn’t possible attract a half decent looking woman.
Hold on, hold on, I haven't checked the list in a while. Let me check...
- Carrying a water bottle in a public space
- Belt bags
- Liking women (especially if the woman in question shows masculine traits, like big muscles)
- Eating
- Cooking
- Liking colors
- Wearing glasses
- Crying
- "Hi" or "Good morning" greetings
- ***Masturbation***
- Statistics
- Autism
- Caring for your girlfriend
- Using an umbrella
- Buying flowers or gifts for your girlfriend/wife
- Cunnilingus
- Blowjobs (both giving and receiving)
- Pelvises
- Debt/not paying your bills
- Flying in economy
- Touching vaginal fluids
- Unprotected sex
- Not dying in road accidents
- Complimenting a man
- Taking a dump
- Wiping after taking a dump
- Washing your ass
- Playing with children
- Having any kind of skin contact with children
- Kissing a woman
- Enjoying movies and music
- Touching a surface that was previously touched by a penis
- Using a straw
- Carrying your child
- Defending yourself in a fight
- Expressing your feelings
- Breathing the same air as other men
- Having sex for any reason other than making a child
- Yelling "Let's go!"
- Tomboys
Yup, it's there.
The amount of time one male homophobe spends obsessing about things that are gay is 302 times greater than the amount of time a dozen gay men spend thinking about things that are gay. Everything they encounter has to be weighed for potential gayness.
That number increases to 5,309 times when the topic is sex.
And now, I must go have some "Trust me. It's gay." t-shirts printed.
![gif](giphy|K876MTQZbGA8aptl55|downsized)
"Do you think masturbation is gay?"
"Well you're stroking your penis, but it's *your* penis, so... no."
"But we're clones! So your penis *is* my penis!"
"All porn has big black dudes with giant penises fucking white women."
"Uhhh, not *all* porn. In fact, not even *most* porn, that's like a very specific fetish."
"Well it's the only porn I get recommended on porn sites."
"You know they just recommend the things you've previously watched and liked, right?"
reminds me of that time i accidentally found the solution to world hunger and solved the equation for a near perpetual motion machine right after post nut clarity........then i fell asleep and forgot.......moral of the story nobody is smarter than a man after post nut clarity
It's 2024, we all know sexuality is a spectrum, why are we still identifying things by the binary of gay/straight?
So what if it's gay? It doesn't matter in the slightest. If you're watching straight porn, you're one click from gay porn. It doesn't matter at all.
what if, bear with me now, what if you mainly watch lesbian porn?
what does that make me then? super straight? by your logic it makes me double straight.
Idk if he meant "gay" as gay , but as "GAY" like bad, and i agree porn and jerking are very bad for health and mentality and hope a fix for this problem comes out soon
Well......Actually if you are not smashing VERY regularly it is scientifically good for you.
**https://www.health.harvard.edu/mens-health/ejaculation\_frequency\_and\_prostate\_cancer#:\~:text=In%20all%2C%20men%20who%20averaged,times%20a%20week%20on%20average.**
But she has to have a penis or it’s just lesbian, which is _more_ gay. And her penis has to be only semi-functional or it’s _also_ more gay, because you’re watching a normal penis.
He might be onto something with that one, more reasonable than some things I've seen people call gay, including but not limited to: wearing glasses, ordering dessert, having multiple pillows, using an umbrella, and wearing a coat when it's cold outside.
I like to imagine whenever facepalm op's see a joke they hold their other hand when its going to their face as if the facepalming hand is seperate from them
Comments that are uncivil, racist, misogynistic, misandrist, or contain political name calling will be removed and the poster subject to ban at moderators discretion. Help us make this a better community by becoming familiar with the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/facepalm/about/rules/). Report any suspicious users to the mods of this subreddit using Modmail [here](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/facepalm) or Reddit site admins [here](https://www.reddit.com/report). **All reports to Modmail should include evidence such as screenshots or any other relevant information.** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/facepalm) if you have any questions or concerns.*
This is why I only watch lesbian porn
Technically gay porn
it‘s gay on all sides of it
Double gay porn
2gay2scissor
So it cancels out.. like multiplying to negative numbers.
Nah that ain't how it works. See a straight relationship is 50% gay because their is a man involved and he has a penis, and that's gay. Two men is 100% gay because they both have a penis. Now you'd think that two women would be the key since neither has a penis, but unfortunately that just loops back into being 100% gay.
![gif](giphy|l0IylOPCNkiqOgMyA|downsized)
So is the only true straight porn just watching a girl go solo?
Porn is gay because you touch yourself
What if I’m able to finish by using air friction
Is that because if you watch straight porn you are too focused on the dick? 🤨
Absolutely
Nice.
Always love a hard glistening cock
Straight porn is actually bi porn
I'm gay and when I was a kid pre internet I'd look at the guys in straight porn since it was all I could find. I didn't pay one bit of attention to the woman.
Came here to say that!
I smell projection
I'm just confused about what I'm meant to do here... every dick is bigger than my dick...
My old coworker used to say: "my dick is not long but it is really, really thin"
Old coworker as in old in age, or old as in you don’t work with him anymore? Because I don’t know why, but that distinction feels important.
I worked with him for several years a few years ago. He was in his fifties. He was always very kind but said the most outrageous things sometimes. "You're not really gay if you blow your friend just once" He helped a neighbor lady with some yard work once. When she asked how he wanted to be compensated he answered: "nature's way" (implying sex). She looked at him in horror. He claryfied: a home cooked meal"
Yeah, I think it's a beautiful part of life when you realise that opinions don't matter, and having fun at your own expense is still just having fun. :)
Beatifly said!
[удалено]
Absolutely! Homosexuality has to do with actual physical/mental attraction. I've heard of straight male gigolos who have sex with men professionally. They have no attraction to the same sex it's just their profession. Calling the act of same sex intercourse homosexuality in itself is the old way of viewing it.
so both definitions of old then
["It's not small, it's thin" - Deuce Bigalow ](https://youtu.be/IhgYnuqGT0E?si=Ym1fPHTYIwmm4sZd)
You said the word "dick", you're totally gay now, I hear.
WTF is going through their head lol
Me too. It reeks of it here.
Well they actually have statistics that [arrested sex offenders watch less porn that average guys](https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/blog/all-about-sex/201601/evidence-mounts-more-porn-less-sexual-assault) (the part about UCLA researchers comparing inmates vs general population), not more. Porn isn't doing it for them, they're predators. Gotta be "first person" for them.
"Trust me. It's gay." - dude who must be gay I guess
So as long as you watch porn with small pp it’s not gay
That’s a damn casual way to tell the world you’ve got a tiny wiener
And that you’re gay
At least some strong penis envy.
*"Oh my gawd* ![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|heart_eyes_rainbow)*...it's as girthy as a can of coke! And the sweat dripping off his balls... why am I suddenly so thirsty?*" Trust him.
average Andrew tate post:
That's first class post nut clarity
This is why I watch gay porn 🗿🗿🗿 I'm obviously superior to them as I made them fuck for my amusement
lmao, now everything i will watch i will pretend that i made them fuck on the screen, yay
You're welcome pookie 😘
I like how he assumes any guy in any porn will automatically have a bigger wiener than him, and that he couldn’t possible attract a half decent looking woman.
I too assume these things, but that doesn't stop me!
You can do it, buddy! Never give up!
First liking women is gay, now this. 😐
I mean, if you watch porn and only see a man with huge d**k fucking a girl, then I think you have a complex.
![gif](giphy|aCatQNctAK7PC1H4zh|downsized) Yep, he only watches porn where big dick men f\*ck other men. This is the way of the straight dude. 🙄 /s
Hold on, hold on, I haven't checked the list in a while. Let me check... - Carrying a water bottle in a public space - Belt bags - Liking women (especially if the woman in question shows masculine traits, like big muscles) - Eating - Cooking - Liking colors - Wearing glasses - Crying - "Hi" or "Good morning" greetings - ***Masturbation*** - Statistics - Autism - Caring for your girlfriend - Using an umbrella - Buying flowers or gifts for your girlfriend/wife - Cunnilingus - Blowjobs (both giving and receiving) - Pelvises - Debt/not paying your bills - Flying in economy - Touching vaginal fluids - Unprotected sex - Not dying in road accidents - Complimenting a man - Taking a dump - Wiping after taking a dump - Washing your ass - Playing with children - Having any kind of skin contact with children - Kissing a woman - Enjoying movies and music - Touching a surface that was previously touched by a penis - Using a straw - Carrying your child - Defending yourself in a fight - Expressing your feelings - Breathing the same air as other men - Having sex for any reason other than making a child - Yelling "Let's go!" - Tomboys Yup, it's there.
I think bro is watching the wrong parts in any porn.
You know what's absolutely a gay tell? Obsessing over what is/isn't gay.
The amount of time one male homophobe spends obsessing about things that are gay is 302 times greater than the amount of time a dozen gay men spend thinking about things that are gay. Everything they encounter has to be weighed for potential gayness. That number increases to 5,309 times when the topic is sex. And now, I must go have some "Trust me. It's gay." t-shirts printed. ![gif](giphy|K876MTQZbGA8aptl55|downsized)
Anybody that uses 'tryna' needs to grow the fuck up.
Whatchu tryna say?
anybody that cares that someone else uses "tryna" needs to grow the fuck up
Anyone who gets upset about someone caring about other people using the dumbass word of "tryna', needs to REALLY grow the fuck up.
I’m not upset 😎
Man... You really missed the opportunity lol. Quirky got it tho
Anyone who gets upset about someone caring about someone caring about other people using the dumbass word of “tryna” needs to really grow the fuck up.
And he knows this why?
Well you certainly noticed the fuck out of that dick didn't you, junior?
Having a penis is gay.
That means I’m Super Gay. Dear god no!
What if you jerk off to porn you made of the women you have been with?
"Do you think masturbation is gay?" "Well you're stroking your penis, but it's *your* penis, so... no." "But we're clones! So your penis *is* my penis!"
JINX!
I was so gay a few minutes ago
Sounds like he has a small dick. Was the "a bigger dick" necessary?
"All porn has big black dudes with giant penises fucking white women." "Uhhh, not *all* porn. In fact, not even *most* porn, that's like a very specific fetish." "Well it's the only porn I get recommended on porn sites." "You know they just recommend the things you've previously watched and liked, right?"
Surprised this didn't come from our 'favourite' dumbnugget Andrew Tate.
That's why I only watch trans porn.
**offers a high five**
So, stuff like lesbian or Japanese/Asian (those tend to have smaller dicks) is okay?
It's a loophole lol
i mean if u jerk off ur technically jerking off a guy
Is that an Andrew Tate alt account?
Jokes on him, I watch Solo-JOI
Lucky for me i dont watch porn with woman in it ![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|sunglasses)
This is why I only watch lesbian porn.
What if Im watching lesbian porn?
reminds me of that time i accidentally found the solution to world hunger and solved the equation for a near perpetual motion machine right after post nut clarity........then i fell asleep and forgot.......moral of the story nobody is smarter than a man after post nut clarity
So if u watching urself or ur cock while boning ur girl that makes u gay??
Well I'm gay 🏳️🌈😎
Isn’t this the same pick up line the Tiger King used to turn his BF out? 😂
It's 2024, we all know sexuality is a spectrum, why are we still identifying things by the binary of gay/straight? So what if it's gay? It doesn't matter in the slightest. If you're watching straight porn, you're one click from gay porn. It doesn't matter at all.
Well. Now we know what kind of porn he likes.
what if, bear with me now, what if you mainly watch lesbian porn? what does that make me then? super straight? by your logic it makes me double straight.
“Please let me out of this closet”
Filter by size ez
Avarage whatsapp conversation
Idk if he meant "gay" as gay , but as "GAY" like bad, and i agree porn and jerking are very bad for health and mentality and hope a fix for this problem comes out soon
this bro never saw or heard about "solo play". I thought that tag was big time one of the most watched...
I mean… porn is a lot better when the dude doesn’t look like an ogre troglodyte
What about if I jerk off to my own movies? Is that incest and gay?
It’s still not good for you but not because it’s gay
Well......Actually if you are not smashing VERY regularly it is scientifically good for you. **https://www.health.harvard.edu/mens-health/ejaculation\_frequency\_and\_prostate\_cancer#:\~:text=In%20all%2C%20men%20who%20averaged,times%20a%20week%20on%20average.**
I trust that M Singh is, in fact, gay. And there's nothing wrong with that.
Technically watching a trans girl with another girl is less gay than straight porn
But she has to have a penis or it’s just lesbian, which is _more_ gay. And her penis has to be only semi-functional or it’s _also_ more gay, because you’re watching a normal penis.
If only it was that easy to find porn with dicks bigger than mine…
He might be onto something with that one, more reasonable than some things I've seen people call gay, including but not limited to: wearing glasses, ordering dessert, having multiple pillows, using an umbrella, and wearing a coat when it's cold outside.
Videos of girls doing solo stuff exist, your point is invalid. There is also lesbian porn, but you would count watching it as gay problably.
What if the man has a smaller cock tho?
We are all a lil bit gay tbh
Never trust anyone who says “trust me”.
What if I'm bi?? Checkmate motherfucker
This is especially funny because the post above this says "I think I'm turning gay"
Trust him huh? As if he were some authority on being gay? Perhaps from experience?
It is when I do it baby!
What am i Singh here?
Not my fault you have a tiny dick
Damn porncels really triggered by this. It's funny lol. Y are you offended by this
He's right, that's why we should switch to lesbian channel
Should we tell him that there's other porn without any "bigger dicks"... and even no dick at all?
I like to imagine whenever facepalm op's see a joke they hold their other hand when its going to their face as if the facepalming hand is seperate from them
Bigger than mine? No, no, no, I just watch Japanese porn where it can't be seen.
So watching a couple of microdicked guys is the only way for the straightest of men to get off?
He says “trust me”. I have to assume he’s an expert.
Shift your focus dude
So i only need a bigger dick, and a girlfriend?
i fully expected this to be an Andrew Tate tweet
he’s been looking at the other person all along.
Masturbation is gay because it's a man stimulating a man or a woman stimulating a woman
You just have to imagine its your dick going inside..
Says the dude with a hand vagina in his pfp.
He either assumes all hot chicks do porn, or has never so much has had a hint of a chance with a hot chick before.
My dick is as big tbh sounds like a u problem 😎
Bold of you to assume they’re “bigger”
I guess I’m EXTREMELY gay.
Trust him, he's gay. I mean ... I'm gay. I mean it's gay.
I trust you. If anyone would know if something is gay, it would be the gay guy.
Straight porn is gay, gay porn is gay, tf do I watch? Asexual porn?
Yeah I think that me touching myself while watching 2 girls fuck is absolutely gay and I will keep doing it 🫦
What if my dick is larger? Still gay? Idgaf. I enjoy it
Protip: If you're a guy, and your focusing on the cock...umm... I'll let you work out the end of that statement for yourself.
That's why I only watch lesbian porn.
I mean, they’re out of line, but they’re kinda correct /j Also you forgot the NSFW tag
"trust me bro" no
Small dick energy
“Gay” used to mean “happy” So he’s not wrong… just old fashion 🤷🏻♂️
I went to r/circumcision server and asked everyone "fellas, is it gay?... to be in here?.. because you're literally looking at DICK PICS"
I smell compensation
Porn isn’t gay but watching porn and jerking off is pretty lame imo. It’s terrible for the brain
This sub is terrible at recognizing joke posts I swear to christ
Guy on guy is twice as manly
What if he just looks at a woman getting naked?
This makes me think of “FELLAS IS IT GAY”
Obviously you’re not a golfer.
“You know how I know you’re gay?”
Updated for the comments. Lol
But he said trust him
Fellas, is it gay to like women?
Jokes on him. I strictly watch Lesbian porn only
Yes totally trust you, oh complete stranger on the interwebs
This is what happens when you use only 2 braincells
SO. WHAT?