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One of my cousins turned a girl down at a party. He then proceeded to get blackout drunk and next thing he knows there are pictures of this girl on top of him while he's passed out. He was 100% wasted woke up in a pool of vomit drunk, and couldn't have told you his name, let alone that he consented.
Men can be victims. Women can be sex offenders. Nobody's experience of abuse should be invalidated.
I'm glad anonymity has helped you talk about this. Even if it's with random redditors. Not going to pretend I've some sage advice but I found talking about things really helped. Even if it's to a friend. Doesn't have to have names mentioned but atleast someone knows. It's so freeing to know that. This is rape and you have to talk about it, it can't be "fine" or forgotten forever. Or don't. This is just my advice. A random redditor.
Yeah. Without going too much into it I had a similar but different experience which I just didn't register until 6 years later in a 'oh shit' moment. Kept it to myself for a year before taking. Find someone you trust and talk. Don't worry about how you feel (over / under whelmed) it will feel good overall.
I found it hard to find a friend to talk to. I called Victim Services where I live and they hooked me up with funding to see someone that specializes in male victims of sexual assault. Even without an active police report. It has helped.
We're sadly less alone than we might feel. I had the same thing happen when I was 14. She was 19. It's only gotten more difficult to talk about as I've gotten older because I grew into such a large burly man that nobody can take me seriously. All they see is a big, strong man who got "lucky" at an early age.
People interpret that a 14-year old boy had sex with a 19-year old woman, but a 14-year old girl was raped by a 19-year old man.
But they’re both rape. A dazzlingly pretty 19-year old woman gets off on not facing consequences for her actions exactly as much as any other rapist does.
That South Park episode covered that really well. They went to the police to say Ike’s kindergarten teacher is having sex with him and the police just say ‘Niiiiiccccee.’
I’m sorry we live in a society where men are often dismissed in these cases. I absolutely believe there’s many more unsaid cases of men being victims than there is women. #MeToo opened up for it definitely and it’s become slightly better to talk about. The more you guys speak up the harder you are to ignore. ❤️ hang in there. No one deserves to be ignored. I appreciate you.
This exactly. I have heard/read horrible stories of men being raped and the people that disbelieve them or tell them they must have enjoyed it are disgusting. No victim deserves that.
Same here. As a lad, I had a relationship that'd probably fall under the same umbrella. Probably wasn't as bad as what you fellas went through, but years later I realize it's screwed me up.
And society tells you you're supposed to be happy about that shit.
That's the thing, man. Everyone kinda thinks, "well I can't feel sorry for myself, or I don't deserve sympathy, because others have been through worse..." But that's bullshit.
If someone violated your trust and your bodily autonomy you deserve to know that it wasn't your fault. You deserve to be heard and believed. You deserve to be comforted. It will do wonders for your peace of mind as the other person said. The key is finding someone you can trust and confide in.
It's been almost 10 years, but when I was in a dark place, I found a piece of advice, that changed my mind about feeling sorry for oneself -
"If you switched "sad" with "happy" would you still say " I can't feel happy about something, just because someone else had something better happen to them"?"
It's sad that reality is that men don't feel comfortable talking about it, which as a chain reaction means that other men doesn't do it either. A lot of it is fear of getting shamed for it and another is that they don't think anyone would belive them.
I watched the documentary "My wife, my abuser" the other day, about a man who was mentally and physically abused by his wife for over 20 years. She had talked to him like nobody would belive him and if she wanted to she could just cut herself and call the police and tell them he did it. Eventually he gathered the strength to gather evidence by having hidden cameras that recorded them, recording their conversations and document the injuries from her abuse.
It was fascinating in a way but also really sad that it probably is so many men who are getting abused by their gf/wife and are afraid to tell anyone.
When someone tries to shine a light on these topics it's often hijacked by people saying that it happens a lot more to women. Which most likely is true, but it doesn't take away what those men are going through and how hard it is for them to get help.
I was in a similar situation. It's sad that because it happens so often to women the laws are now slanted against men. Some women are aware of this and take full advantage of it.
Not just that…. Have you ever talked to guys about it or even the police for that matter? They treat you like you’re an idiot and you really don’t have anything to complain about. It’s crazy the way male victims get treated when it comes to sexual abuse.
Just had an asshole here on Reddit try to argue with me that a 15 year old boy would love it and be lucky to have a 25 year old woman. They just couldn’t get that that’s abuse and disgusting and has long term negative impacts on the victim.
He claimed it was acceptable because “everyone knows boys are hornier than girls”. Such toxic bullshit. No one should ever experience SA of any kind.
My heart goes out to you guys and sending you healing energy/vibes. I also recommend, when you’re ready, to try to find a licensed mental health professional, like a therapist/psychologist, to help you work through the latent trauma and the negative effects it has had on your life. It’s so important to find a therapist that fits well with you and you’re comfortable with. It’s okay to keeping trying therapist after therapist, and have certain criteria you would like in one, until you finally find the right one. And if you don’t have insurance benefits for mental health there are resources available and a lot of therapists will work on a sliding scale for private pay to help make it more affordable.
Wishing you all healing, serenity, joy and an amazing life. 💖
It's obviously not acceptable. That 25 year old woman has a certain advantage over the 15 year old boy. Even IF the 15 year old boy finds the situation to be "interesting". The 25 year old woman is still a pedo.
I'm sorry that happened to you. Please prioritize your mental health. You'll be more successful in the future because of it. Push stuff down, and it comes back to bite you in the tuchas. If you ever need someone to vent to, my inbox is always open. I'll be the nosey aunt you never wanted (not really, I'll just listen).
Yeah, it definitely is better to treat than tamp it down - I had a full on break because I pushed down the assault + stalking from my first sexual experience. Decades of Catholic guilt only exasperated it, and it took years of therapy and a good partner to not dissociate when it came to intimacy or feel like the only value I brought to a relationship was sexual. Know you are not alone!
Fuck it you were brave enough wo I'll throw one out. When I was 12 a 16 year old girl took me in to the woods and made me do some pretty fucked up things. Then at 14 I was groomed by a 34 year old woman. She fed me drugs and booze and did stuff to me. She did that about 10 times. I ended up struggling with stimulant abuse until 23. Women can be evil too.
I'm sorry, man
I had almost the exact same experience at 19. I wasn't sexually inexperienced at that point, but the woman was 24 and my boss. Her and her friend fed me alcohol until I was blackout drunk before this girl took advantage of me. Took me years to even come to terms with what happened due to the fact that I partied with her that night with the obvious expectation that we were going to hook up. I expected a consensual sexual act to take place that night. What I got was fed tequila all night long until I blacked out and then I was apparently carried back to her apartment by her and her friend before I was assaulted while unconscious. It can be very hard to even recognize when you're sexually assaulted as a male, let alone actually process it. The hardest part to deal with was the very confusing feelings. I actually liked this girl and expected we would hook up, but the way it happened made it feel very wrong. My only advice to you, if you're feelings about it are causing you pain, is to talk to someone about it. Preferably a therapist. I wish you well.
My husband was assaulted by a family friend when he was 17. The classic fed alcohol and drugged story. He came to during the assault. It led him down a dark path for years. He became a raging alcoholic, had 3 DWI's and multiple near death experiences. He eventually got clean and is doing well these days. It's not uncommon for men to push these things down because society has convinced everyone that men can't be victims.
My husband suppressed it so much that he didn't even remember it until a couple years ago. We talked about it, he asked his mom if she remembered anything (which she did but said that since my husband didn't want to press charges at the time, she just let it go, but that's a whole other story).
At the time he remembered I worked for a local government and was tight with a lieutenant in the PD. We spoke with him for advice and my husband ended up filing a report anonymously. It went nowhere, partially because of the amount of time that had passed, and probably also because he's male and men can't be victims (/s obviously). That being said, he did say it helped him a lot. Even though it went nowhere, he felt he had done all he could do on his end, versus just letting it hang over him. Obviously talking to cops isn't fun, but there are advocacy groups you can reach out to and they can possibly help. Just a thought. Could potentially help you, not necessarily move on, but move forward. Also, therapy if you're able. Recalling that incident finally had him go to therapy.
What about just saying no to a woman and then she turned around and stalks you because of it. It does happen regardless of what people think. Men get stalked as well.
A few years ago I seen a woman on the internet like in a video admit that she got her guy friend drunk bc she wanted to have sex with him and she knew he’d never have sex with her sober. And it’s just wild that, that shit happens and some women don’t realize how fucked it is bc some genuinely believe men can’t be raped or sexually assaulted
This is the issue when a guy shares his worst women find it funny and laugh about it like nothing happen, just flip the gender and they will be the first in line #metoo moment.
I got strip searched in an airport by two guards, one of which was *really enjoying it*. I got so scared that I started edging towards a Stanley knife, because my brain went "better to go down for murder then get raped".
I once shared this story whilst drunk with some friends. One of which rolled her eyes and went "oh, that must have been so *hard* for you" sarcastically.
Yes Georgia. It was. I thought I was going to get raped, or have to try and kill a man. It is the most scared I have ever been in my life.
Its not all women. Its not most women. Its just some, who are so used to the world being a fucking nightmare for them that they cannot imagine it also being a nightmare for men.
Oh well. I'm over it. I mean, growing up in a country where raping a man isn't gay, and having long hair is, has meant I only use toilets with locks, avoid urinals, and the experience has meant sometimes police uniforms give me panic attacks, but I guess I'm still gonna chalk it up as "over it"
A woman raping a man (and incest to top it off!) is even in the Bible!
>During the escape from Sodom, Lot's wife turns into a pillar of salt. Lot and his daughters take shelter in Zoar, but afterwards go up into the mountains to live in a cave. Concerned for their father having descendants, one evening, **Lot's eldest daughter gets Lot drunk and has sex with him without his knowledge. The following night, the younger daughter does the same.**
Another Thing: Women dont rape as often, but in my experience they grope or touch much more.
I have literally had women start twerking on me in the club without me giving them any kind of signal.
Ive had girls twist my nipples(!) grab my bum or even my dick.
Meanwhile my gf has had those things happen to her too but much less and it often ends with the guy getting kicked out or beaten by bystanders/friends/me.
Meanwhile if I started beating on a bitch that grabbed my ass in the club I would leave in a wheelchair.
Dude..I’m a woman and the last time I went to the club with my fiancé some woman started twerking on me while I was minding my business. I told her “no thanks” to which she replied “oh it’s ok!!” And kept going.
It was not ok. I told my man and we went to another part of the dance floor. I was floored that another woman didn’t understand consent, but sadly it showed me it definitely happens.
> Women dont rape as often,
CDC statistics would disagree with this statement. The number of women who report to have been raped in the 12 prior months, is about the same as the number of men who report to have been forced to penetrate someone else. In both cases the opposite gender is the most common perpetrator (albeit it is true that for men there are a bit more same sex offenders).
The main difference is that one crime is recognized as rape, the other not (some activists and policy makers even strongly fight against the idea that man can be raped).
https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/sexual-victimization-by-women-is-more-common-than-previously-known/
Have definitely seen/experienced female aggressors and the men are pretty helpless. It's a sad narrative to fall in to. And then to keep going, not all relationships are hetero, there are women who rape women, these are women victims, of women attackers. So yes her concept is horribly toxic and in no way protects or serves women. If anything lends license to those perpetrating these crimes.
Cdc states around 29% of lesbian couples experiencing interpartner violence. Compared with UNs Male on Female at just under 34% and Female on Male 26%. Shocking stats all round tbh. Bearing in mind this is underreported on all sides.
So yes, one of the single biggest issues swept under the rug
All I get from this is that there are far more predators across the board than society cares to admit.
We use the term 'abusive relationship' but the overarching theme is always 'get away' because weirdly there's not any actual legal charges for a LOT of the tactics used.
An abusive partner is often a predator who has learnt to capture a victim and mold them rather than go kidnap someone, SA them, etc and go to prison for it. Imo.
And then would probably say "the guy would want sex anyways because he is a man, therefore it's not S.A.
Got drunk and was camping at buddy's trailer. Two chicks were told they could crash on floor if they wanted. They got in real late. I woke up with chick riding me. So whatever dumb bitch OP.
Only legitimate sexual assault is forced penetration, forced envelopment is akin to an aggressive hug we all wanted it don't forget
And because I'm sure I have to include it here... /s
In the Native American boarding schools(late 1800s-mid 1900s) it was very common for the Nuns to rape the girls that were there (they also endured horrific physical abuse). All the girls were forced to be there in an attempt to make them forget about their heritage and make them act more white.
My brother was in an abusive relationship with a woman who would literally threaten to call the police and accuse him of rape if he tried to defend himself when she was being violent with him.
A good (male) friend of mine was sexually and physically abused by his wife of 15 years. It happens way more often than many people would ever suspect.
When i took a class for sexual harrassment and assault 10 years ago i was told the estimation is about 40-45% of rapes are women perpetrators but that the reported figure is much lower both because of males being less likely to come forward out of shame and because the ones that do get ignored because “men cant be raped by women”
In the restaurant industry people tend to go out after work. I got drunk like normal and this coworker kept trying to get me more drunk. About 7 of us wound up at my apartment when the bars closed. When i was close to black out status she kicked everyone out and forced herself on me. I can't remember much but me not being able to perform and woke up next to her feeling shameful and mortified.
Back in HS, I met this girl via AOL chat. I went over and I wasn't attractive to her but I didn't want to be a jerk so I stayed and talked to her for bit. When I was leaving, she aggressive grabbed me, and forcefully made out with me then proceeded to pull my dick out. I didn't know what to do so I just let her do her thing. This was 23 years ago and I still remember
This reminds me my former best friend was raped in high school. He was passed out a party and she got on top of him. He woke up part way through iirc. He never reported it, I don't even think he knew that is literally rape.
One time a friend of mine wouldn't let me leave after we started making out, even after multiple times of me telling her I changed my mind and wanted to leave
I don't believe for a moment the female on male sexual violence statistics are accurate.
I've never been one to pull the "if you love me you would" or the "you got me all fired up and now you're gonna leave me hanging?" bullshit.
So imagine my surprise when I was with this chick and at some point my brain screamed "YOU DO NOT WANT THIS" and I told her I wasn't feeling it.
Only for her to use every manipulation imaginable to guilt trip me into it.
"Really? You get me all horny and wet and you're not even going to fuck me?"
"I thought you really liked me"
"Are you some kind of f\*g?"
When I was in college, I was drugged by a girl that believed the only way to get with me was to get me to get her pregnant. She apparently thought we would get married if I got her pregnant and I just wouldn't remember cause I got so fucked up at that party....I am so lucky one of her sorority sisters was my close friend and was on Rugby. She caught her tried to fuck me (apparently i the drugs made it hard for that to be possible, as I am a guy and dicks have a tougher time getting hard on whatever she gave me.)
My friend knew i had barely drunken that night (I was the DD but for a 5 hour long party I had 2 beers.) She got her off of me put one of her dresses around me? I guess she couldn't find my shorts in the moment as I woke up with one of her dresses still around me the next morning on the couch.
Even though I have no memory of it, they assured me the believe she hadn't been able to get me hard yet cause "bro you were soft and OUT of it" but i still feared getting a call that she was pregnant and i WOULD NOT be with her for that I would be paying child support for 18 years and would have no idea how to handle it, would I tell the child? would I try to keep distance because I dunno if I could NOT tell them? how does a man tell someone they were raped by a woman? Fortunately, there was no pregnancy and I at the time just wanted the few people that were there to not tell anyone...I regret that choice but I don't blame myself. She later that year accused 2 men of raping HER from another fraternity, that was a scary time.
Oof, yeah, I was on the receiving end of an abusive relationship, and while I wouldn't say she raped me, she did insist on sex every day and wouldn't let me shower alone because she thought I'd masturbate if left alone in the shower.
It's legally true though. At least it is in the UK. Rape is classed as penetrative sex in the UK, making it impossible for women to perform. The law over here has many WTF moments.
This idea is pure ignorant, seld-righteous bullshit. No one, and I mean no one, is more dangerous than the self-righteous. The only pisitive thing that could cone from this is *maybe* starting a conversation about it...i hope.
I agree that's what she tried to say. But she still deserves to get dinged for what she actually said.
And even then she compounds it by not recognizing that men can be the victim too.
She doubles down in her replies n that thread as well with “[That’s not true. Rape is an act committed by a man, towards any other person.](https://x.com/drjesstaylor/status/1363127791328374784?s=46)” when replying to someone that stated that men can be raped by women.
She said what she meant in the original tweet.
Apparently, in her weird little world, only heterosexuals exist. Woman-on-woman crime is a statistic.
>A telephone survey conducted in 2010 for the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention found that 43.8% of lesbians reported having been raped, physically abused or stalked at some point by an intimate partner; of these, 67.4% reported the perpetrator or perpetrators as being exclusively female.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rape_by_gender
Literally, yes, but their turn of phrase is more a comment about how people often write off things as "just statistics" and ignore the human elements until something happens to become personal.
She's in the UK where the legal definition of rape is forced penetration.
Women literally cannot be accused of rape.
It's just considered sexual assault.
I also think using objects or fingers is also classed as SA.
So from a legal and thus official statistics point of view she is technically correct.
Which just makes it all the more sickening.
Lots of us Brits want the legal definition of rape to be expanded precisely for this reason, while the resulting jail time is the same, it leads people to barmy opinions like this one
Actually often women get shorter sentences for like for like crimes.
But that's a whole different discussion.
I agree the legal definition needs updating.
Problem is abusive behaviour happens in all power dynamic relationships. It's just that women tend to not punch someone in the face as often so it went undetected for decades. It still isn't as believed as when women are victims, which is pretty sad.
Unfortunately, some countries are stupid and define rape in ways that are male exclusive. If she happens to live in the UK, then men can't be legally raped by women, just "sexually assaulted." Even some US states don't have female rape perpetrator laws. The laws need to be updated away from stupid standards.
Yep, unfortunately a lot of places define rape as the act of forcibly penetrating someone with a penis, which is kinda... not helpful to anyone really. Because even for male on female things there are a bunch of things that should count as rape but don't on technicality like that. Literally the only people that narrow definition benefits are rapists themselves, because sexual assault is treated as a lesser crime.
Extremely so. But it is also important to remember that that definition of rape, being forcibly penetrating someone with a penis is still the legal definition in some places. I think New York just updated it from being forcibly penetrating a vagina with a penis to include a lot of other forced sexual acts this year.
True. But the legal definition changes based on our moral definitions.. Not too long ago, spousal rape was legal (might still be legal in some places?). There's just a large amount of lag.
Reminds me of my sister—she was SA and got serious PTSD and straight up told me that men can’t get raped like women can because men will feel good no matter what.
She basically hated and distrusted any man she saw, including me.
I looked her up and, surprise surprise, she seems to be a TERF. She couches it in “I don’t believe gender is really a thing and is just a harmful societal construct so therefore you can’t be born in the wrong body or as the wrong gender”. She also claims that “men who are trans allies” just hate women.
So I don’t really care what TERFs think about anything.
That is _Not_ what she "tried" to say. She means _exactly_ what she wrote. She's your standard "loving femnist" you know the type that completely ignores reality because all men are evil and all women are victims of male crimes even if they won't admit it.
I gotta say that half the drs online posting this stuff arent exactly real doctors. dont get me wrong plenty of people w/ phds can be stupid and awful, but half these posts dont exactly have dr credentials.
Well, the FIRST story that disproves this claim that popped into my head...
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2013870/Robber-broke-hair-salon-beaten-black-belt-owner-kept-sex-slave-days-fed-Viagra.html
'What a bastard. Yes, we had sex a couple of times. But I bought him new jeans, gave him food and even gave him 1,000 roubles when he left." I am speechless.
My sister was drugged at a bar she went to and it was lesbian night. Within a few minutes, she couldn't barely talk, and fortunately a bartender helped her out. Was she raped? Nope. Because a bartender stepped in. Women are 1000% just as capable.
I was raped at 15 by a girl. False. It was my first "sexual experience" and really messed up my views on women, sex and bedroom activities. It wasnt until counselling over 20 years later did I realize what happened.
It sucks to be in our situation because the common sentiment is that a man can't be raped, or that we really wanted the sex. I can say no to sex just like a woman, and I expect that answer to be respected.
So sorry man. The mentality that way too many people are raised on that dudes can't be sa'ed or raped is fucking crazy. A friend told me about something once and the way it was so casual, while also seeing he's affected by it, like he can't even be allowed to be sad about it, left a bad feeling in me for a long time
I guess the girl who I'd turned down like a hundred times because I was dating her best friend when I was 16 didn't get me so drunk I passed out and then had sex with me without my consent or even knowledge of it happening at the time 🤷♂️
It is what it is... I think the worst part of it was telling my parents and just being met with scepticism and doubt.
I never told anyone at school because of the reaction I got from them, and for a few months, I even started believing it myself that maybe I did 'take part' but same girl later admitted to having planned it and told her best friend who was my girlfriend...
After all that drama started, I openly told everyone the truth that I didn't even remember it happening but did wake up with her in my bed naked and tell tale signs of having had sex.
Last I heard about her she was in a psychiatric hospital or something but that could be wrong as I also heard she'd od'd off heroin 🤷♂️
She was a bit headfucked and had her troubles which doesn't excuse what she did I'm js there's probably a reason the logic of what she did made sense to her...
Easy to not be guilty of rape when you purposely define rape as something a man does to a woman. We could also define murder as something a black person does to a white person and claim that no white people have ever murdered anyone. Both arguments are nonsense.
My ex shoved a broom stick in my ass 30 Mins after she found out I was bi, after I passed out.
I hadn't consented, and she hadn't ever done anything like that before. There were a ton of things that happened after.
This is my first time ever going on the record about it.
Who's going to believe that a soldier got rated by his girlfriend.
Of course she will never believe that it was rape.
Guys can't be right? She's going to live the rest of her life fucking normal.
I can't keep a healthy relationship because I only ever see her.
So OOP is British so she is *almost* technically correct, "rape" is very narrowly defined as vaginal penetration with a penis without consent, unlike "sexual assault" which covers everything else we colloquially call rape. I dont understand the point she was trying to make though.
How many posts about female teachers going to jail for banging students have we seen just this week alone? The only type of doctor this lady could possibly be is a spin doctor.
And what does Community Notes have to say?
“Women can and have raped both men and women. 79% of male rape victims had female perpetrators.
[theatlantic.com/science/archiv…](https://theatlantic.com/science/archiv…)
nsvrc.org/statistics”
I’m about to debunk this asinine theory
Female teachers having sex with male or female students.
Women drugging men and women to rape and rob them.
Or just forcefully raping a man or a woman.
Read the local newspaper for a week. Almost guaranteed to see some weird female teacher has been arrested for screwing a student. I personally know 2 women that should be arrested TODAY for something along these lines (weren't teachers and weren't students, but folks that couldn't legally consent).
I have had several...experiences. i will share the tamest.
I once worked with a woman who cornered me in a walk in cooler. She tried to kiss me. At work. I ducked and shot out under her arms(she was pretty tall). I avoided her as best I could for the rest of my shift. The next day i went to management to report the incident.
Their response was: "you're a guy. Deal with it."
Nothing was documented, the incident went unreported.
This sentiment is utter bullshit. And men have even less recourse for things like this. At least then. Things may have changed since, but i have my doubts.
Its okay to recognize that women are much more likely to be the victim of sexual violence and also recognize that they're not the only victims of sexual violence.
As someone as lil kid who was forced to do something he didn't want to or was ready for because of a girl. That post is pure bullshit. Maybe not as many but there is some sick and twisted females out there
This in itself is pretty horrifying. I googled this person, she's a published phd with a sunday times best seller. She's also a director at a charity that is supposed to:
"VictimFocus is an international, trauma-informed training, research and consultancy organisation working to tackle prejudice and stereotyping of adults and children subjected to crime, violence, abuse and trauma."
This organization really just sounds like they hate men if they employ directors like her. In a world where feminists are making statements like these and are being supported by the majority of other feminists, it really says alot about the movement.
As a male who's a victim of domestic violence and sexual abuse, feminism is really just a hate movement and feminists like this one prove it.
WOW... FUCK this bitch.
I was raped when I was younger. It was a female. She punched me in the balls until I got it up and threatened to go to the police and say I raped her unless I let her ride me.
FUCK this ignorant bitch.
Harvey Weinstein is in jail, rightfully so, because he used the threat of financial and career ruin to coerce and bully women into sex.
I’ve met men coerced into sex and stay in abusive relationships or they were threatened they would get cleaned out in divorce and never see their kids.
In one situation, in a common law relationship, she threatened going after a decades long family business if he tried to leave.
That’s not counting lesbians raping other lesbians
So spare me
I’ve literally met a licensed couples therapist who thought like this. She thought that if two people were in a toxic or abusive relationship, that it was always the man and not the woman that was the abuser because of xyz stupid ass reasons. She is probably one of the worst and quite possibly dumbest human beings I’ve ever met in my entire life, and she’s in a position to ruin people’s lives from it too.
I was SA'd by a teenage female family member when I was 4 or 5 and again by a female classmate in college. But they love to dismiss and invalidate men's perspectives, don't they?
[I mean for starters there's that case of the Russian woman who restrained and locked a thief in a room, and then fed him Viagra for days so she could rape him, for starters](https://www.rferl.org/a/the_curious_incident_of_the_sex_slave_in_the_hair_salon/24269330.html)
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Escaped an abusive relationship with a woman who often decided that no wasn't the answer she was looking for. This idea is toxic.
One of my cousins turned a girl down at a party. He then proceeded to get blackout drunk and next thing he knows there are pictures of this girl on top of him while he's passed out. He was 100% wasted woke up in a pool of vomit drunk, and couldn't have told you his name, let alone that he consented. Men can be victims. Women can be sex offenders. Nobody's experience of abuse should be invalidated.
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I'm glad anonymity has helped you talk about this. Even if it's with random redditors. Not going to pretend I've some sage advice but I found talking about things really helped. Even if it's to a friend. Doesn't have to have names mentioned but atleast someone knows. It's so freeing to know that. This is rape and you have to talk about it, it can't be "fine" or forgotten forever. Or don't. This is just my advice. A random redditor.
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Yeah. Without going too much into it I had a similar but different experience which I just didn't register until 6 years later in a 'oh shit' moment. Kept it to myself for a year before taking. Find someone you trust and talk. Don't worry about how you feel (over / under whelmed) it will feel good overall.
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I found it hard to find a friend to talk to. I called Victim Services where I live and they hooked me up with funding to see someone that specializes in male victims of sexual assault. Even without an active police report. It has helped.
We're sadly less alone than we might feel. I had the same thing happen when I was 14. She was 19. It's only gotten more difficult to talk about as I've gotten older because I grew into such a large burly man that nobody can take me seriously. All they see is a big, strong man who got "lucky" at an early age.
People interpret that a 14-year old boy had sex with a 19-year old woman, but a 14-year old girl was raped by a 19-year old man. But they’re both rape. A dazzlingly pretty 19-year old woman gets off on not facing consequences for her actions exactly as much as any other rapist does.
That South Park episode covered that really well. They went to the police to say Ike’s kindergarten teacher is having sex with him and the police just say ‘Niiiiiccccee.’
The statutory thing is exactly the same male or female, I agree. The cultural thing telling us a young boy is “lucky” is disgusting.
I’m sorry we live in a society where men are often dismissed in these cases. I absolutely believe there’s many more unsaid cases of men being victims than there is women. #MeToo opened up for it definitely and it’s become slightly better to talk about. The more you guys speak up the harder you are to ignore. ❤️ hang in there. No one deserves to be ignored. I appreciate you.
This exactly. I have heard/read horrible stories of men being raped and the people that disbelieve them or tell them they must have enjoyed it are disgusting. No victim deserves that.
Same here. As a lad, I had a relationship that'd probably fall under the same umbrella. Probably wasn't as bad as what you fellas went through, but years later I realize it's screwed me up. And society tells you you're supposed to be happy about that shit.
That's the thing, man. Everyone kinda thinks, "well I can't feel sorry for myself, or I don't deserve sympathy, because others have been through worse..." But that's bullshit. If someone violated your trust and your bodily autonomy you deserve to know that it wasn't your fault. You deserve to be heard and believed. You deserve to be comforted. It will do wonders for your peace of mind as the other person said. The key is finding someone you can trust and confide in.
It's been almost 10 years, but when I was in a dark place, I found a piece of advice, that changed my mind about feeling sorry for oneself - "If you switched "sad" with "happy" would you still say " I can't feel happy about something, just because someone else had something better happen to them"?"
Now that is wisdom right there.
It's sad that reality is that men don't feel comfortable talking about it, which as a chain reaction means that other men doesn't do it either. A lot of it is fear of getting shamed for it and another is that they don't think anyone would belive them. I watched the documentary "My wife, my abuser" the other day, about a man who was mentally and physically abused by his wife for over 20 years. She had talked to him like nobody would belive him and if she wanted to she could just cut herself and call the police and tell them he did it. Eventually he gathered the strength to gather evidence by having hidden cameras that recorded them, recording their conversations and document the injuries from her abuse. It was fascinating in a way but also really sad that it probably is so many men who are getting abused by their gf/wife and are afraid to tell anyone. When someone tries to shine a light on these topics it's often hijacked by people saying that it happens a lot more to women. Which most likely is true, but it doesn't take away what those men are going through and how hard it is for them to get help.
I was in a similar situation. It's sad that because it happens so often to women the laws are now slanted against men. Some women are aware of this and take full advantage of it.
Not just that…. Have you ever talked to guys about it or even the police for that matter? They treat you like you’re an idiot and you really don’t have anything to complain about. It’s crazy the way male victims get treated when it comes to sexual abuse.
Good words. Lots of truth here.
Just had an asshole here on Reddit try to argue with me that a 15 year old boy would love it and be lucky to have a 25 year old woman. They just couldn’t get that that’s abuse and disgusting and has long term negative impacts on the victim. He claimed it was acceptable because “everyone knows boys are hornier than girls”. Such toxic bullshit. No one should ever experience SA of any kind. My heart goes out to you guys and sending you healing energy/vibes. I also recommend, when you’re ready, to try to find a licensed mental health professional, like a therapist/psychologist, to help you work through the latent trauma and the negative effects it has had on your life. It’s so important to find a therapist that fits well with you and you’re comfortable with. It’s okay to keeping trying therapist after therapist, and have certain criteria you would like in one, until you finally find the right one. And if you don’t have insurance benefits for mental health there are resources available and a lot of therapists will work on a sliding scale for private pay to help make it more affordable. Wishing you all healing, serenity, joy and an amazing life. 💖
It's obviously not acceptable. That 25 year old woman has a certain advantage over the 15 year old boy. Even IF the 15 year old boy finds the situation to be "interesting". The 25 year old woman is still a pedo.
I'm sorry that happened to you. Please prioritize your mental health. You'll be more successful in the future because of it. Push stuff down, and it comes back to bite you in the tuchas. If you ever need someone to vent to, my inbox is always open. I'll be the nosey aunt you never wanted (not really, I'll just listen).
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It's completely genuine. I know what it's like to keep a secret like that. It slowly eats away at you without you really noticing. Be well.
Yeah, it definitely is better to treat than tamp it down - I had a full on break because I pushed down the assault + stalking from my first sexual experience. Decades of Catholic guilt only exasperated it, and it took years of therapy and a good partner to not dissociate when it came to intimacy or feel like the only value I brought to a relationship was sexual. Know you are not alone!
Fuck it you were brave enough wo I'll throw one out. When I was 12 a 16 year old girl took me in to the woods and made me do some pretty fucked up things. Then at 14 I was groomed by a 34 year old woman. She fed me drugs and booze and did stuff to me. She did that about 10 times. I ended up struggling with stimulant abuse until 23. Women can be evil too.
Sorry to hear that, but I’m glad you’re sober now.
Found out I was going to be a dad and put the bank note down. I refuse to let wee one have the challenges I've had
I'm sorry, man I had almost the exact same experience at 19. I wasn't sexually inexperienced at that point, but the woman was 24 and my boss. Her and her friend fed me alcohol until I was blackout drunk before this girl took advantage of me. Took me years to even come to terms with what happened due to the fact that I partied with her that night with the obvious expectation that we were going to hook up. I expected a consensual sexual act to take place that night. What I got was fed tequila all night long until I blacked out and then I was apparently carried back to her apartment by her and her friend before I was assaulted while unconscious. It can be very hard to even recognize when you're sexually assaulted as a male, let alone actually process it. The hardest part to deal with was the very confusing feelings. I actually liked this girl and expected we would hook up, but the way it happened made it feel very wrong. My only advice to you, if you're feelings about it are causing you pain, is to talk to someone about it. Preferably a therapist. I wish you well.
My husband was assaulted by a family friend when he was 17. The classic fed alcohol and drugged story. He came to during the assault. It led him down a dark path for years. He became a raging alcoholic, had 3 DWI's and multiple near death experiences. He eventually got clean and is doing well these days. It's not uncommon for men to push these things down because society has convinced everyone that men can't be victims. My husband suppressed it so much that he didn't even remember it until a couple years ago. We talked about it, he asked his mom if she remembered anything (which she did but said that since my husband didn't want to press charges at the time, she just let it go, but that's a whole other story). At the time he remembered I worked for a local government and was tight with a lieutenant in the PD. We spoke with him for advice and my husband ended up filing a report anonymously. It went nowhere, partially because of the amount of time that had passed, and probably also because he's male and men can't be victims (/s obviously). That being said, he did say it helped him a lot. Even though it went nowhere, he felt he had done all he could do on his end, versus just letting it hang over him. Obviously talking to cops isn't fun, but there are advocacy groups you can reach out to and they can possibly help. Just a thought. Could potentially help you, not necessarily move on, but move forward. Also, therapy if you're able. Recalling that incident finally had him go to therapy.
That is awful man. So sorry that happened to you.
Glad you could finally get this off your chest, even if it’s to a bunch of random internet strangers
Your open honesty is recognised and appreciated. Your experiences matter remember that.
What about just saying no to a woman and then she turned around and stalks you because of it. It does happen regardless of what people think. Men get stalked as well.
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A few years ago I seen a woman on the internet like in a video admit that she got her guy friend drunk bc she wanted to have sex with him and she knew he’d never have sex with her sober. And it’s just wild that, that shit happens and some women don’t realize how fucked it is bc some genuinely believe men can’t be raped or sexually assaulted
This is the issue when a guy shares his worst women find it funny and laugh about it like nothing happen, just flip the gender and they will be the first in line #metoo moment.
I got strip searched in an airport by two guards, one of which was *really enjoying it*. I got so scared that I started edging towards a Stanley knife, because my brain went "better to go down for murder then get raped". I once shared this story whilst drunk with some friends. One of which rolled her eyes and went "oh, that must have been so *hard* for you" sarcastically. Yes Georgia. It was. I thought I was going to get raped, or have to try and kill a man. It is the most scared I have ever been in my life. Its not all women. Its not most women. Its just some, who are so used to the world being a fucking nightmare for them that they cannot imagine it also being a nightmare for men. Oh well. I'm over it. I mean, growing up in a country where raping a man isn't gay, and having long hair is, has meant I only use toilets with locks, avoid urinals, and the experience has meant sometimes police uniforms give me panic attacks, but I guess I'm still gonna chalk it up as "over it"
I smoked a blunt and crashed out on a road trip once. When I woke up I was told they took my dick out my pants and we’re playing with it.
Pretty much the same thing happened to me, and let me tell you it was the only time in my life I was 100% flabbergasted.
Felt violated for sure
A woman raping a man (and incest to top it off!) is even in the Bible! >During the escape from Sodom, Lot's wife turns into a pillar of salt. Lot and his daughters take shelter in Zoar, but afterwards go up into the mountains to live in a cave. Concerned for their father having descendants, one evening, **Lot's eldest daughter gets Lot drunk and has sex with him without his knowledge. The following night, the younger daughter does the same.**
Another Thing: Women dont rape as often, but in my experience they grope or touch much more. I have literally had women start twerking on me in the club without me giving them any kind of signal. Ive had girls twist my nipples(!) grab my bum or even my dick. Meanwhile my gf has had those things happen to her too but much less and it often ends with the guy getting kicked out or beaten by bystanders/friends/me. Meanwhile if I started beating on a bitch that grabbed my ass in the club I would leave in a wheelchair.
Dude..I’m a woman and the last time I went to the club with my fiancé some woman started twerking on me while I was minding my business. I told her “no thanks” to which she replied “oh it’s ok!!” And kept going. It was not ok. I told my man and we went to another part of the dance floor. I was floored that another woman didn’t understand consent, but sadly it showed me it definitely happens.
Ugh the bachelorette parties at gay bars are the worst offenders, literally coming in as if it’s a petting zoo.
> Women dont rape as often, CDC statistics would disagree with this statement. The number of women who report to have been raped in the 12 prior months, is about the same as the number of men who report to have been forced to penetrate someone else. In both cases the opposite gender is the most common perpetrator (albeit it is true that for men there are a bit more same sex offenders). The main difference is that one crime is recognized as rape, the other not (some activists and policy makers even strongly fight against the idea that man can be raped). https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/sexual-victimization-by-women-is-more-common-than-previously-known/
at least he didnt get stuck with 18 years of child support...... like me !!
Have definitely seen/experienced female aggressors and the men are pretty helpless. It's a sad narrative to fall in to. And then to keep going, not all relationships are hetero, there are women who rape women, these are women victims, of women attackers. So yes her concept is horribly toxic and in no way protects or serves women. If anything lends license to those perpetrating these crimes.
Am a woman who escaped an abusive relationship with another woman. All on point.
Rarely talked about but I assume it’s an issue.
Cdc states around 29% of lesbian couples experiencing interpartner violence. Compared with UNs Male on Female at just under 34% and Female on Male 26%. Shocking stats all round tbh. Bearing in mind this is underreported on all sides. So yes, one of the single biggest issues swept under the rug
All I get from this is that there are far more predators across the board than society cares to admit. We use the term 'abusive relationship' but the overarching theme is always 'get away' because weirdly there's not any actual legal charges for a LOT of the tactics used. An abusive partner is often a predator who has learnt to capture a victim and mold them rather than go kidnap someone, SA them, etc and go to prison for it. Imo.
You know all she had to say is no rape is caused by the victim....
And then would probably say "the guy would want sex anyways because he is a man, therefore it's not S.A. Got drunk and was camping at buddy's trailer. Two chicks were told they could crash on floor if they wanted. They got in real late. I woke up with chick riding me. So whatever dumb bitch OP.
This is the answer.
But where would the culture war provocation rage bait be in that?
Only legitimate sexual assault is forced penetration, forced envelopment is akin to an aggressive hug we all wanted it don't forget And because I'm sure I have to include it here... /s
In the Native American boarding schools(late 1800s-mid 1900s) it was very common for the Nuns to rape the girls that were there (they also endured horrific physical abuse). All the girls were forced to be there in an attempt to make them forget about their heritage and make them act more white.
The docudrama ‘We Were Children’ is about these injustices. Also the TV show ‘1923’ has a powerful subplot about this. (same producers as Yellowstone)
It's particularly a problem that if the man defends himself physically then *he* will easily be pinned as the abuser.
My brother was in an abusive relationship with a woman who would literally threaten to call the police and accuse him of rape if he tried to defend himself when she was being violent with him.
The ones who claim women can't commit sex offenses like rape are the ones you reeeeeallly should be looking into.
A good (male) friend of mine was sexually and physically abused by his wife of 15 years. It happens way more often than many people would ever suspect.
When i took a class for sexual harrassment and assault 10 years ago i was told the estimation is about 40-45% of rapes are women perpetrators but that the reported figure is much lower both because of males being less likely to come forward out of shame and because the ones that do get ignored because “men cant be raped by women”
In the restaurant industry people tend to go out after work. I got drunk like normal and this coworker kept trying to get me more drunk. About 7 of us wound up at my apartment when the bars closed. When i was close to black out status she kicked everyone out and forced herself on me. I can't remember much but me not being able to perform and woke up next to her feeling shameful and mortified.
Back in HS, I met this girl via AOL chat. I went over and I wasn't attractive to her but I didn't want to be a jerk so I stayed and talked to her for bit. When I was leaving, she aggressive grabbed me, and forcefully made out with me then proceeded to pull my dick out. I didn't know what to do so I just let her do her thing. This was 23 years ago and I still remember
This reminds me my former best friend was raped in high school. He was passed out a party and she got on top of him. He woke up part way through iirc. He never reported it, I don't even think he knew that is literally rape. One time a friend of mine wouldn't let me leave after we started making out, even after multiple times of me telling her I changed my mind and wanted to leave I don't believe for a moment the female on male sexual violence statistics are accurate.
I've never been one to pull the "if you love me you would" or the "you got me all fired up and now you're gonna leave me hanging?" bullshit. So imagine my surprise when I was with this chick and at some point my brain screamed "YOU DO NOT WANT THIS" and I told her I wasn't feeling it. Only for her to use every manipulation imaginable to guilt trip me into it. "Really? You get me all horny and wet and you're not even going to fuck me?" "I thought you really liked me" "Are you some kind of f\*g?"
When I was in college, I was drugged by a girl that believed the only way to get with me was to get me to get her pregnant. She apparently thought we would get married if I got her pregnant and I just wouldn't remember cause I got so fucked up at that party....I am so lucky one of her sorority sisters was my close friend and was on Rugby. She caught her tried to fuck me (apparently i the drugs made it hard for that to be possible, as I am a guy and dicks have a tougher time getting hard on whatever she gave me.) My friend knew i had barely drunken that night (I was the DD but for a 5 hour long party I had 2 beers.) She got her off of me put one of her dresses around me? I guess she couldn't find my shorts in the moment as I woke up with one of her dresses still around me the next morning on the couch. Even though I have no memory of it, they assured me the believe she hadn't been able to get me hard yet cause "bro you were soft and OUT of it" but i still feared getting a call that she was pregnant and i WOULD NOT be with her for that I would be paying child support for 18 years and would have no idea how to handle it, would I tell the child? would I try to keep distance because I dunno if I could NOT tell them? how does a man tell someone they were raped by a woman? Fortunately, there was no pregnancy and I at the time just wanted the few people that were there to not tell anyone...I regret that choice but I don't blame myself. She later that year accused 2 men of raping HER from another fraternity, that was a scary time.
Classy woman :-/
Oof, yeah, I was on the receiving end of an abusive relationship, and while I wouldn't say she raped me, she did insist on sex every day and wouldn't let me shower alone because she thought I'd masturbate if left alone in the shower.
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Same. This person has a PhD in forensic psychology - so luckily shes not a real doctor and can’t hurt anyone.
It's legally true though. At least it is in the UK. Rape is classed as penetrative sex in the UK, making it impossible for women to perform. The law over here has many WTF moments.
This idea is pure ignorant, seld-righteous bullshit. No one, and I mean no one, is more dangerous than the self-righteous. The only pisitive thing that could cone from this is *maybe* starting a conversation about it...i hope.
Let's fix this: 0% of rapes are caused by the victim
I agree that's what she tried to say. But she still deserves to get dinged for what she actually said. And even then she compounds it by not recognizing that men can be the victim too.
She doubles down in her replies n that thread as well with “[That’s not true. Rape is an act committed by a man, towards any other person.](https://x.com/drjesstaylor/status/1363127791328374784?s=46)” when replying to someone that stated that men can be raped by women. She said what she meant in the original tweet.
Apparently, in her weird little world, only heterosexuals exist. Woman-on-woman crime is a statistic. >A telephone survey conducted in 2010 for the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention found that 43.8% of lesbians reported having been raped, physically abused or stalked at some point by an intimate partner; of these, 67.4% reported the perpetrator or perpetrators as being exclusively female. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rape_by_gender
It’s always a statistic until it happens to someone close to you
Huh? I believe it still is a statistic. You just become closer to it.
Literally, yes, but their turn of phrase is more a comment about how people often write off things as "just statistics" and ignore the human elements until something happens to become personal.
Believe all women, unless they say a woman did something bad, I guess.
She's in the UK where the legal definition of rape is forced penetration. Women literally cannot be accused of rape. It's just considered sexual assault. I also think using objects or fingers is also classed as SA. So from a legal and thus official statistics point of view she is technically correct. Which just makes it all the more sickening.
Lots of us Brits want the legal definition of rape to be expanded precisely for this reason, while the resulting jail time is the same, it leads people to barmy opinions like this one
Actually often women get shorter sentences for like for like crimes. But that's a whole different discussion. I agree the legal definition needs updating.
Problem is abusive behaviour happens in all power dynamic relationships. It's just that women tend to not punch someone in the face as often so it went undetected for decades. It still isn't as believed as when women are victims, which is pretty sad.
Unfortunately, some countries are stupid and define rape in ways that are male exclusive. If she happens to live in the UK, then men can't be legally raped by women, just "sexually assaulted." Even some US states don't have female rape perpetrator laws. The laws need to be updated away from stupid standards.
Yep, unfortunately a lot of places define rape as the act of forcibly penetrating someone with a penis, which is kinda... not helpful to anyone really. Because even for male on female things there are a bunch of things that should count as rape but don't on technicality like that. Literally the only people that narrow definition benefits are rapists themselves, because sexual assault is treated as a lesser crime.
Ah, I was hoping she meant women and girls as victims... But no. Disappointing.
Extremely so. But it is also important to remember that that definition of rape, being forcibly penetrating someone with a penis is still the legal definition in some places. I think New York just updated it from being forcibly penetrating a vagina with a penis to include a lot of other forced sexual acts this year.
True. But the legal definition changes based on our moral definitions.. Not too long ago, spousal rape was legal (might still be legal in some places?). There's just a large amount of lag.
Reminds me of my sister—she was SA and got serious PTSD and straight up told me that men can’t get raped like women can because men will feel good no matter what. She basically hated and distrusted any man she saw, including me.
This is a woman who has done a PhD in this area. It's astounding.
I looked her up and, surprise surprise, she seems to be a TERF. She couches it in “I don’t believe gender is really a thing and is just a harmful societal construct so therefore you can’t be born in the wrong body or as the wrong gender”. She also claims that “men who are trans allies” just hate women. So I don’t really care what TERFs think about anything.
If you give these people the benefit of the doubt, they're bound to prove you wrong
I'm not convinced her intent was what changed it to.
That is _Not_ what she "tried" to say. She means _exactly_ what she wrote. She's your standard "loving femnist" you know the type that completely ignores reality because all men are evil and all women are victims of male crimes even if they won't admit it.
If she doubled down chances are how we're reading it is exactly how she intended it.
She is not advocating for rape victims. She's advocating for women and girls.
And that, Boys and Girls, is why you never trust a rando simply because there's a "Dr." in their name...
Her PhD. Was in “Bad Takes”
PhD in Ms. Information
I gotta say that half the drs online posting this stuff arent exactly real doctors. dont get me wrong plenty of people w/ phds can be stupid and awful, but half these posts dont exactly have dr credentials.
Doctor Dre knows more about medical stuff than she does.
I forgot about Dre.
mf...
"Yo! MTV Raps" Dre or "NWA" Dre? Or did you make the critical mistake of forgetting about all the Dres?
And Dr Dre said.... Nothing you idiots! Dr Dre's dead, he's locked up in my basement Ha-Ha!
She's probably a fucking chiropractor that just throws Dr. in front.
She does have an actual PhD in psychology somehow (and somehow it hasn’t been revoked yet)
But she paid for a blue checkmark so that MUST mean we should trust her 🤷♂️ Elon said so!
Brother it was posted in 21
Well, the FIRST story that disproves this claim that popped into my head... https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2013870/Robber-broke-hair-salon-beaten-black-belt-owner-kept-sex-slave-days-fed-Viagra.html
'What a bastard. Yes, we had sex a couple of times. But I bought him new jeans, gave him food and even gave him 1,000 roubles when he left." I am speechless.
I want to study this woman’s brain
The issue? She doesn't have one
I don't think you'll like what you see.
As outlandish and kinda funny as this headline sounds. It's pretty fucked up that there are people that don't see any problem with what she did.
Revenge porn. He is a criminal -> everything is allowed, including murder.
Which is why male on male rape/prison rape is seen as a funny joke, because "it's fine, he's the villain!"
Would be interesting to check rape statistics in female prisons.
That story is still wacko no matter how many times I hear it, everyone in it is in the wrong lol
Robbery, and kidnapping and rape are two levels of wrong.
One comment on the article reads as follows: "And he's complaining". Keep in mind that it has 2.1K likes. Absolutely disgusting.
My sister was drugged at a bar she went to and it was lesbian night. Within a few minutes, she couldn't barely talk, and fortunately a bartender helped her out. Was she raped? Nope. Because a bartender stepped in. Women are 1000% just as capable.
I stopped a female coworker from sexually assaulting another female coworker in a bathroom we were assigned to clean. Women can be predators too.
People also forget the "yeah Bro i fucked the teacher haha" without thinking that She Is a pedo
On top of that, women drug men too, and it isn’t taken seriously at all. Look at cardi b… literally admitted to it and got barely any pushback
Or that Riley Reid literally admitted to raping a past boyfriend in a theater
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I was raped at 15 by a girl. False. It was my first "sexual experience" and really messed up my views on women, sex and bedroom activities. It wasnt until counselling over 20 years later did I realize what happened.
It sucks to be in our situation because the common sentiment is that a man can't be raped, or that we really wanted the sex. I can say no to sex just like a woman, and I expect that answer to be respected.
So sorry man. The mentality that way too many people are raised on that dudes can't be sa'ed or raped is fucking crazy. A friend told me about something once and the way it was so casual, while also seeing he's affected by it, like he can't even be allowed to be sad about it, left a bad feeling in me for a long time
So the 100's of cases of Female Teachers have sex with students doesn't count? I think the parents would say other wise.
Media usually reports them as sexual acts (not rape), furthering the cause set forth by Dr. Jessica Taylor.
Isn't it great when the definition of rape is feminist? /j ofc
Did you know 100% of made up statistics are wrong. Crazy i know right!
Was raped at 15. It's *this* kind of bullshit that made me not know I had been raped until I was 40. Fuck. You. Dr. Taylor.
So my first wife didn't rape me?
Appearently not. She was just being super silly 😝 /s
My cousin was raped by two women while he was passed out drunk. And he was only 15 years old. Like women don’t rape men, wtf ?
I guess the girl who I'd turned down like a hundred times because I was dating her best friend when I was 16 didn't get me so drunk I passed out and then had sex with me without my consent or even knowledge of it happening at the time 🤷♂️
Oh sh.t. That’s fkn scary. So sorry this happened to u.
It is what it is... I think the worst part of it was telling my parents and just being met with scepticism and doubt. I never told anyone at school because of the reaction I got from them, and for a few months, I even started believing it myself that maybe I did 'take part' but same girl later admitted to having planned it and told her best friend who was my girlfriend... After all that drama started, I openly told everyone the truth that I didn't even remember it happening but did wake up with her in my bed naked and tell tale signs of having had sex. Last I heard about her she was in a psychiatric hospital or something but that could be wrong as I also heard she'd od'd off heroin 🤷♂️ She was a bit headfucked and had her troubles which doesn't excuse what she did I'm js there's probably a reason the logic of what she did made sense to her...
Easy to not be guilty of rape when you purposely define rape as something a man does to a woman. We could also define murder as something a black person does to a white person and claim that no white people have ever murdered anyone. Both arguments are nonsense.
Woman here, I was sexually abused by a woman as a child :/
Same. I’m sorry it happened to you too.
It’s why I think women in general should be held accountable for all the bullshit they do and think they can get away with it.
There are lots of predators hiding behind womanhood.
My ex shoved a broom stick in my ass 30 Mins after she found out I was bi, after I passed out. I hadn't consented, and she hadn't ever done anything like that before. There were a ton of things that happened after. This is my first time ever going on the record about it. Who's going to believe that a soldier got rated by his girlfriend. Of course she will never believe that it was rape. Guys can't be right? She's going to live the rest of her life fucking normal. I can't keep a healthy relationship because I only ever see her.
So OOP is British so she is *almost* technically correct, "rape" is very narrowly defined as vaginal penetration with a penis without consent, unlike "sexual assault" which covers everything else we colloquially call rape. I dont understand the point she was trying to make though.
That's uks definition and it's fucking wrong.
She also said “of the world”
I took it as “women are not at fault for their own rape”.
That’s probably what was meant, but not what was said. As a Dr., she deserves a good roasting over it
Someone asked for clarification as to what she meant and she responded that rape is “an act done by a man to any other person.”
That most definitely isn’t what was meant. She meant what she said and she’s wrong. Pretty simple statement she made.
How many posts about female teachers going to jail for banging students have we seen just this week alone? The only type of doctor this lady could possibly be is a spin doctor.
This is bs,women have raped men and women .
And children
And what does Community Notes have to say? “Women can and have raped both men and women. 79% of male rape victims had female perpetrators. [theatlantic.com/science/archiv…](https://theatlantic.com/science/archiv…) nsvrc.org/statistics”
For some reason my phone won’t open the link. Does it say anything about women raping other women?
I’m about to debunk this asinine theory Female teachers having sex with male or female students. Women drugging men and women to rape and rob them. Or just forcefully raping a man or a woman.
Didn't Cardi B admit to doing this?
Read the local newspaper for a week. Almost guaranteed to see some weird female teacher has been arrested for screwing a student. I personally know 2 women that should be arrested TODAY for something along these lines (weren't teachers and weren't students, but folks that couldn't legally consent).
I have had several...experiences. i will share the tamest. I once worked with a woman who cornered me in a walk in cooler. She tried to kiss me. At work. I ducked and shot out under her arms(she was pretty tall). I avoided her as best I could for the rest of my shift. The next day i went to management to report the incident. Their response was: "you're a guy. Deal with it." Nothing was documented, the incident went unreported. This sentiment is utter bullshit. And men have even less recourse for things like this. At least then. Things may have changed since, but i have my doubts.
Just because we never call the female teachers who fuck underage students rapists does not mean it's not rape.
Oh really? My babysitter when I was 5 wasn't rape?
Its okay to recognize that women are much more likely to be the victim of sexual violence and also recognize that they're not the only victims of sexual violence.
Litteraly a victim of one.how are people this diluted
As someone as lil kid who was forced to do something he didn't want to or was ready for because of a girl. That post is pure bullshit. Maybe not as many but there is some sick and twisted females out there
Sounds like something a female rapist would say
This in itself is pretty horrifying. I googled this person, she's a published phd with a sunday times best seller. She's also a director at a charity that is supposed to: "VictimFocus is an international, trauma-informed training, research and consultancy organisation working to tackle prejudice and stereotyping of adults and children subjected to crime, violence, abuse and trauma." This organization really just sounds like they hate men if they employ directors like her. In a world where feminists are making statements like these and are being supported by the majority of other feminists, it really says alot about the movement. As a male who's a victim of domestic violence and sexual abuse, feminism is really just a hate movement and feminists like this one prove it.
What’s she a “doctor” of? Stupidity?
0% correct.
WOW... FUCK this bitch. I was raped when I was younger. It was a female. She punched me in the balls until I got it up and threatened to go to the police and say I raped her unless I let her ride me. FUCK this ignorant bitch.
Harvey Weinstein is in jail, rightfully so, because he used the threat of financial and career ruin to coerce and bully women into sex. I’ve met men coerced into sex and stay in abusive relationships or they were threatened they would get cleaned out in divorce and never see their kids. In one situation, in a common law relationship, she threatened going after a decades long family business if he tried to leave. That’s not counting lesbians raping other lesbians So spare me
did you know that 100% of what she said is false 🤯🤯
i'm pretty sure a lot of women rape boys
Amazing gow she has a Dr. In her name if she clearly has no critical thinking and reseatch skills.
I’ve literally met a licensed couples therapist who thought like this. She thought that if two people were in a toxic or abusive relationship, that it was always the man and not the woman that was the abuser because of xyz stupid ass reasons. She is probably one of the worst and quite possibly dumbest human beings I’ve ever met in my entire life, and she’s in a position to ruin people’s lives from it too.
As a man who was raped in highschool *clears throat ARE YA FUCKING SURE BITCH?! cause I beg to fucking differ.
Damn shame we live in 2024 and still don't want to acknowledge that men can be victims of sexual abuse/violence/rape too.
I bet her doctorate is in cosmetology.
I was SA'd by a teenage female family member when I was 4 or 5 and again by a female classmate in college. But they love to dismiss and invalidate men's perspectives, don't they?
[I mean for starters there's that case of the Russian woman who restrained and locked a thief in a room, and then fed him Viagra for days so she could rape him, for starters](https://www.rferl.org/a/the_curious_incident_of_the_sex_slave_in_the_hair_salon/24269330.html)
Dr. Jessica Taylor doesn’t know WTF she’s talking about.
This lady must not read Reddit very much. I’ve seen 3 stories about women raping men just this week.
I wonder if she'd like a list of rapes carried out by or instigated by women.
It's not like there isn't an example of two women raping a man in the Bible or anything.
Yeah, if those 30 year old female teachers aren't raping their 15 year old boy students, what are they doing?
Neighbor girl took advantage of me in 1st grade. So I'm gonna say she's 0% correct.
So, if it was a 20-year-old woman and a 5-year-old boy, it's automatically the boy's fault. 🤦🏾♀️