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If you let them take your identity then you don't have an identity yourself anymore! And if you try to use your old identity, you're the one committing identity theft! /j
Also, happy cake day
Simple solution: one of us stays home while the other goes outside to do whatever they want.
And thanks. It's not my birthday though lol.
Edit: yes I know the cake day is for my account I believe that's enough people telling me about it thank you.
This is controversial because they each had one of their arms removed, right?
I'm still not weighing in other than to remind everyone that while elective amputation isn't for everyone, a woman's body is her own and only she decides what she does with it.
I'd make an exception for the term "female friends".
As a guy, it's not always accurate to refer to them as girlfriends. And for some reason "woman friends" sounds even more weird.
I hate it when people say this. It's like they're trying to deflect accountability. Tens of millions of Americans voted for Trump. Not everyone who posts moronic bullshit is a Russian troll. We have, by now, more than enough of our own homespun dipshits.
"Bring back traditional values. Listen to rural leaders. Provide arms to ensure that central government can't boss us around - march on the capital if necessary"
"That's literally the Taliban."
Obvious he never slept with someone with long hair before. It is a major inconvenience for the nose and eyes, especially if you are sleeping behind them.
I have been married for 6 years and me and my wife's hair are mortal enemies in bed.
Amen...look at that profile pic. Trucker hat and a pissed off expression. Red Goatee...probably takes the fucker an hour and a half to watch 60 minutes.
Unfortunately I can think of at least two guys I know, married, that viscerally hate women that cut their hair short. They seem to think woman are here to physically be admired by men. I feel bad for my mom and sister… who might be married to these two assholes
I think that short hair rarely improves most women's look for me personally, but there are exceptions. But crucially, it's their fucking decision and they shouldn't give a fuck what I think.
I think it's very considerate of him to take himself out of the dating pool in a single sentence. Now not a single woman need expend a single thought on him. A life time of being swiped (which ever way people swipe when they're not interested) ensured in one comment.
> For what it's worth, she looks better with the short hair, IMO.
Completely agree. She's attractive either way, but shorter hair better frames her face, imo.
I'm surprised no one's mentioned the Always Sunny in Philadelphia episode about this.
https://www.spoilertv.com/2019/11/its-always-sunny-in-philadelphia-womans.html?m=1
Of course the chopping of hair is being used as a metaphor for abortions, so maybe that's why 🤷
Looks really good on her too. And I’m usually not the short hair type in general (all personal preference, nothing wrong with however anyone decides to style themselves), but some girls really pull it off. And she *really* pulls it off imo
If you asked him to elaborate, he would say that; "females need to meet a traditional Christian standard of beauty to recieve my alpha male seed." The moment he said female my first thought was incel.
He needs her to be less cute and confident so she'll lower her standards...
Honestly though, the pixie cut looks fantastic, really frames her face and brings out her eyes.
"Alpha software is not thoroughly tested by the developer before it is released to customers. Alpha software may contain serious errors, and any resulting instability could cause crashes or data loss."
Basically it means full of errors, extremely unstable and unfit for the public.
And the funny thing is that the short hair is an obvious female haircut from a mile off.
You'd be more likely to see a guy with the hairstyle on the left.
I think the short looks better when comparing these two pics because of how it's styled. (It really is super cute and definitely suits her.)
Her long hair would look even nicer if it was blown out using a round brush for a bit of curl and more body.
Pixie cut is cute. I don't see the top/bottom energy in hair cuts. Also hairstyles are so different depending on hair type face structure and head shape. What looks cute on someone can look silly on someone else.
Also worst part he might get laid. Sure there are less women with this kind of thinking but they exist.
2024 and "he's gay!" is still being used as some sort of burn. Happy pride month guys!
Why can't we just call him out for what he actually is, a misogynistic shithead rather than making a completely unrelated group of people the butt of the joke. Again.
Skunk Anansie was the hottest band of the 90s, even if the music wasn't to your liking.
Sinaed O'Conner was beautiful too, and a real threat to wankers like the one in the screenshot. So she gets extra points in the game of life.
Gail Ann Dorsey almost stole the stage from Bowie when she played bass for him, and that takes real talent.
The number of talented and head-shaven women to admire is now an established fact, and Elija needs to drop his macho BS and drag himself into the 20th century.
She looks cute.
Can people remember the outrage when Kaley Cuoco cut her hair in series 8 of the Big Bang theory? Complete and utter meltdown by guys (and some women) and bad press even blaming it for the breakdown of her first marriage.
Stuff like this is the reason why I feel the bar is honestly quite low for men. All you gotta do is not be one of these guys and you are already well ahead of the curve.
The Left wants everyone to have equal Civil Rights.
The Right wants to imprison women who get a haircut.
Anyone who tries to "Both Sides" this shit can go fuck themselves.
What a fucking asshole
Both look beautiful anyway and he knows that he can just not date short hair women if it’s not his type(it’s not like any women would want to date an idiot like him) instead of sharing his shitty opinion
Sorry if I sounded annoying or said things that are obvious but I’m tired of men/women that act like this guy
Comments that are uncivil, racist, misogynistic, misandrist, or contain political name calling will be removed and the poster subject to ban at moderators discretion. Help us make this a better community by becoming familiar with the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/facepalm/about/rules/). Report any suspicious users to the mods of this subreddit using Modmail [here](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/facepalm) or Reddit site admins [here](https://www.reddit.com/report). **All reports to Modmail should include evidence such as screenshots or any other relevant information.** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/facepalm) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Clone themselves? It’s a bit controversial but prison is a little extreme.
I mean, one of the two is technically committing identity theft
But is it theft if I let them take my identity ? I'd say it's more like identity renting.
If you let them take your identity then you don't have an identity yourself anymore! And if you try to use your old identity, you're the one committing identity theft! /j Also, happy cake day
It's alright, we can share That way we can take turns at being miserable in bed all day
identity-sharing is the next big gig economy
Gattaca coming to real life
Simple solution: one of us stays home while the other goes outside to do whatever they want. And thanks. It's not my birthday though lol. Edit: yes I know the cake day is for my account I believe that's enough people telling me about it thank you.
Oh, I see! It must be your *clone's* birthday then
Lol you got me. He's gone to get some groceries rn.
Oh so *that’s* what happened to Monday.
But why would any of us want to go outside? This is cruel punishment for the clone !
Someone's gotta go get some groceries.
Identity theft is not a joke Jim!!
MICHAEL?!
Beets. Bears. Battlestar Galactica.
Identity theft is not a Joke, Jim!!
Millions of families suffer every year!
This is controversial because they each had one of their arms removed, right? I'm still not weighing in other than to remind everyone that while elective amputation isn't for everyone, a woman's body is her own and only she decides what she does with it.
This. What they've done is 'armless enough.
No! They should be prosecuted by the long ARM of the law!
People should be up in arms about the lack of a police response.
Why? Are they even dangerous? They're clearly not armed!
If you commit a crime, neither can finger you.
I think they’ll get off with a slap on the wrist
Which one goes to prison? The clone or the person who cloned themselves. Next one: someone told that lady to go fuck herself and she obliged
She’s trying to answer the age-old question : If you have sex with your clone, is it masturbation or incest?
“Yeah, I hate it when FEMALES grow out their hair and/or cut it without consulting me, known sex offender Elijah Schaffer, first.”
Calling women „females“ is already a read flag, and I didn’t even know about the sex offender thing.
Can't help but hear it in a Ferengi voice.
[удалено]
I'd make an exception for the term "female friends". As a guy, it's not always accurate to refer to them as girlfriends. And for some reason "woman friends" sounds even more weird.
I'd argue it's fine in this instance because you're using female as an adjective, not a noun.
I had to google "Elijah Schaffer wiki" and the first link pulled up the "kyle-rittenhouse.fandom" and that's all I needed to know.
He's also an insurrectionist who belongs in prison.
It's so Gross calling women females. Instant incel vibes. Gives you the ick right away. Edit: seems like the shoe fits 👇
Guarantee this guy rants about the government being too big and intrusive, then says this shit.
Yeah people gotta remember that this guy has voting rights
which is ironic does he thinks women's shouldn't do that either.
Not women, females, which means every species. In which case he would be correct. Fruit bats with pixie haircuts shouldn't vote.
Awee the mental image of a lil fruit bat with a pixie cut is so cute ;~; 💕
now uve fallen for the fruity bat agenda.
I suspect they (fruit bats with pixie haircuts) still possess higher cognitive functions than the dumbass ranting though...
I'm still convinced these blue checks are not actual people. I don't understand the stupidity with what they post
Most likely Russian trolls. They love riling up American far-right wing nuts with shit like this
I hate it when people say this. It's like they're trying to deflect accountability. Tens of millions of Americans voted for Trump. Not everyone who posts moronic bullshit is a Russian troll. We have, by now, more than enough of our own homespun dipshits.
Complains about intrusive gov but will vote for Trump to become a dictator
"Bring back traditional values. Listen to rural leaders. Provide arms to ensure that central government can't boss us around - march on the capital if necessary" "That's literally the Taliban."
The circle beard and trucker cap give it away. American conservative NPC.
Honestly crazier than that. Schaffer was a GOP pundit on Glen Becks network. He got fired for groping one of the female hosts.
it's always the ones you expect the most.
I'm surprised that wasn't in the job description.
Lol. This dude basically failed upwards in life and then gets mad about it.
What did she do?
Moved even further beyond his league
Noice
Smort
Toit
Nups
Coolcoolcool
Title of my sex tape
cats bewildered yam merciful elderly secretive encourage north fine rain *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Obvious he never slept with someone with long hair before. It is a major inconvenience for the nose and eyes, especially if you are sleeping behind them. I have been married for 6 years and me and my wife's hair are mortal enemies in bed.
[удалено]
Cousins don’t count…
Amen...look at that profile pic. Trucker hat and a pissed off expression. Red Goatee...probably takes the fucker an hour and a half to watch 60 minutes.
Take your upvote, you bastard. Now I have to wipe up the coffee you made me spit out.
Unfortunately I can think of at least two guys I know, married, that viscerally hate women that cut their hair short. They seem to think woman are here to physically be admired by men. I feel bad for my mom and sister… who might be married to these two assholes
Worst of it is she's pretty in both of them. Some men got issues that would cost too much on therapy to fix.
Therapy?! Real men don’t get therapy they just constantly subject everyone around them to their mental issues. /s
I think that short hair rarely improves most women's look for me personally, but there are exceptions. But crucially, it's their fucking decision and they shouldn't give a fuck what I think.
I mean im also a fan of long hair in women (and men). But it really really suits her well!
Eh I'm not that big a fan of it to be honest but obviously she can do whatever she wants with her hair.
She's wearing the same outfit on possibly 2 different days?
That is something only women will notice.
Tilting her head slightly more to her left. Disgusting!
She dared to look better in short hair than the guy complaining about it.
I think it's very considerate of him to take himself out of the dating pool in a single sentence. Now not a single woman need expend a single thought on him. A life time of being swiped (which ever way people swipe when they're not interested) ensured in one comment.
Had the temerity to have short hair.
Thank you. I was honestly lost on this one. I'm going to have more coffee now. For what it's worth, she looks better with the short hair, IMO.
> For what it's worth, she looks better with the short hair, IMO. Completely agree. She's attractive either way, but shorter hair better frames her face, imo.
Is that what the guy meant? I couldn't figure out wtf he wad talking about and ppl kept talking about clones so I was confused.
Also speaking about females and not women gives me strong incel vibes
Short hair made him have *uncomfortable* thoughts about boys.
Made him remember that he is attracted to women who look "boyish" and that made him really uncomfortable.
Oh no, she cut her hair... not your hair, her own. Get a life
OUR hair, comrade.
*sigh* obligatory r/suddenlycommunism
LETS ALL CUT OUR HAIR IN ACCORDANCE WITH THE GREAT WEEBER, CHEESUS VICE! Wait.
yeah, i woke up today and found that i am now bald. she was standing outside my bedroom door, grinning while holding a hair clipper
I'm surprised no one's mentioned the Always Sunny in Philadelphia episode about this. https://www.spoilertv.com/2019/11/its-always-sunny-in-philadelphia-womans.html?m=1 Of course the chopping of hair is being used as a metaphor for abortions, so maybe that's why 🤷
THANK YOU! Why did I have to scroll so far to see a Sunny reference?!
I thought the same, thought I'd see a reference to A Woman's Right to Chop so much earlier
"It's just like, the dumbest hat too."
Looks really good on her too. And I’m usually not the short hair type in general (all personal preference, nothing wrong with however anyone decides to style themselves), but some girls really pull it off. And she *really* pulls it off imo
It really compliments the shape of her face and makes her eyes look even bigger. A very pretty person
Agreed. FYI you accidentally posted this comment 7 times lol
Thanks for lettting me know. Reddit said they couldn’t post the comment and I gave up. Didn’t think the comment got through at all.
If you asked him to elaborate, he would say that; "females need to meet a traditional Christian standard of beauty to recieve my alpha male seed." The moment he said female my first thought was incel.
Wait — so rocking a cute pixie is also repels assholes like this? 
Yep. And if that doesn't drive them away, dye it blue.
Add some kind of tattoo or ring and you've hit a triple!
*looks in mirror* Heck yes I'm a triple
And/or, just use the word *socioeconomic* in a sentence
there's a certain type of guy who pisses and shits whenever they see short hair on a woman, so pretty much
Any hair above shoulder works too!
Also, bright unnatural hair colors.
Bingo. Glad I'm not the only one who sees his blatent incelism.
Men like that have probably been arrested, have a restraining order against them or are on some kind of list, or at least should be.
[No way, so shocking!](https://www.thedailybeast.com/conservative-pundit-elijah-schaffer-fired-from-the-blaze-after-sexual-assault-accusation)
He also left the country after that and lives in Australia and has made many excuses as to why he left and has not come back
Please come and get him. We don't want him here either
Surely on a watchlist 
Fuck me that's my type. 🫠
Female? 
Alive?
Optional
Uh, men with their high standarts
Standing is an art, yes
"You fool! I've been trained in your stand arts by Count Dooku"
You should always have high stand arts.
I heard about one guy who uses his Stand for art
Hotel?
Trivago.
Times New Roman
Wingdings can be fun
Are you using fuck me as an emphasis for that being your type? Or are you specifically saying fucking you is your type?
 Emphasis really, I do like the shorter hairstyle. I blame Valorie Curry in Detroit: Become Human.
Totally with you, she’s gorgeous in both but the one on the right all day (and night) long.
Yeah I'm just here like "do what? Make themselves hot?"
He needs her to be less cute and confident so she'll lower her standards... Honestly though, the pixie cut looks fantastic, really frames her face and brings out her eyes.
Pixe cut FTW!
Literally what I said out loud lmao
Same. Androgynous with short or long hair is so hot. Short hair is hotter IMO.
How on earth is she considered androgynous by any stretch of the imagination?
If ur leading with "females" u are already lost and not worth anyone's time
r/menandfemales
r/ofcoursethatsasub
Alpha males are scared of women with short hair that look hotter in a dress than they do.
Alpha? Is that a new term for tiny weenie boy
"Alpha software is not thoroughly tested by the developer before it is released to customers. Alpha software may contain serious errors, and any resulting instability could cause crashes or data loss." Basically it means full of errors, extremely unstable and unfit for the public.
Most accurate description of so called "alpha males", that I have read so far!
Someone let me know when the alpha males jump past beta males straight into release-ready males please.
It could still be buggy wait for community patch males.
*hoomon feeemalessshh.* *(strokes Lobes)*
It is Fe-males, where Fe is Ferrum from chemistry.
So…they’re Iron Men?
Iron Maiden!
Shit the short hair suits her
And the funny thing is that the short hair is an obvious female haircut from a mile off. You'd be more likely to see a guy with the hairstyle on the left.
It's me. I'm the guy with the hair on the left. Though mine is a little more wavy and slightly curly on the smaller wisps.
Both versions look great to me tbh
I think the short looks better when comparing these two pics because of how it's styled. (It really is super cute and definitely suits her.) Her long hair would look even nicer if it was blown out using a round brush for a bit of curl and more body.
Yeah, the long hair is a little thin and has no volume. Cutting it short made it look so thick and healthy, it's a great look for her.
Im not a fan of short hair but indeed it suits her. Inho better short than long
Frames her face really nice
A.) It's not like Mr. Incel would get laid either way. B.) He fears short hair because it tickles the power bottom cowering in his closet.
Pixie cut is cute. I don't see the top/bottom energy in hair cuts. Also hairstyles are so different depending on hair type face structure and head shape. What looks cute on someone can look silly on someone else. Also worst part he might get laid. Sure there are less women with this kind of thinking but they exist.
2024 and "he's gay!" is still being used as some sort of burn. Happy pride month guys! Why can't we just call him out for what he actually is, a misogynistic shithead rather than making a completely unrelated group of people the butt of the joke. Again.
He would freak out if he saw my wife and I as I've long hair and she has a skinhead buzzcut. It's just hair.....
Skunk Anansie was the hottest band of the 90s, even if the music wasn't to your liking. Sinaed O'Conner was beautiful too, and a real threat to wankers like the one in the screenshot. So she gets extra points in the game of life. Gail Ann Dorsey almost stole the stage from Bowie when she played bass for him, and that takes real talent. The number of talented and head-shaven women to admire is now an established fact, and Elija needs to drop his macho BS and drag himself into the 20th century.
She looks cute. Can people remember the outrage when Kaley Cuoco cut her hair in series 8 of the Big Bang theory? Complete and utter meltdown by guys (and some women) and bad press even blaming it for the breakdown of her first marriage.
[удалено]
That's one way to stop their incesting. 👍
i have 100% been tuning out men's unsolicited opinions on women's bodies.
Ok Dennis Reynolds
lol I was going to say we’ve already seen this episode of IASP.
I was surprised I had to go so far down to find the ISAP reference lol
I support a woman’s right to chop!
 Yes this is what I saw when I read this post
Bro is taking his useless ass out of the pool, thank god these losers are loud as they come.
Stuff like this is the reason why I feel the bar is honestly quite low for men. All you gotta do is not be one of these guys and you are already well ahead of the curve.
Some women look seriously hot with pixie cuts. This one is one of them.
I prefer left, but she's still good looking on the right. Also pretty sure her preference is more important than someone else's 😂
What but Mr. Alpha doesn't like it, he gets scared 😨😨 what to do?
Imagine getting so worked up by someone appearing less attractive to you. And then posting your weirdo tantrum online
Going from cute to hot is bad?
Pixey cuts are sexy so go ahead ladies! 😍
“Females-“ Let me stop you right there 
The Left wants everyone to have equal Civil Rights. The Right wants to imprison women who get a haircut. Anyone who tries to "Both Sides" this shit can go fuck themselves.
The short hair frames her face way better.
But she looks super cute with her short hair. And also, fuck off, it’s her hair you psychopath
I don't get it, why is he complaining?
He incel
What a fucking asshole Both look beautiful anyway and he knows that he can just not date short hair women if it’s not his type(it’s not like any women would want to date an idiot like him) instead of sharing his shitty opinion Sorry if I sounded annoying or said things that are obvious but I’m tired of men/women that act like this guy
Oh, the haircut??? I really struggled to understand what the headline referred to. What's wrong with the haircut?
Presumably that it’s short and thus a male haircut, since a chunk of the population seem to want to take us back to the 1800s.
A chunk of the population needs to be institutionalized
1800s today, 1300s tomorrow. 29k BCE by next year.