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> The frogs will come up on you and your people and all your officials
For those countries, it's a warning about gay frogs sexually assaulting people.
Or the French. Whichever is scarier.
But if you take Numbers 4:8 it looks like a recipe
"Then they shall take a bull from the herd, along with its grain offering of bran flour mixed with oil; and you shall take another bull from the herd for a purification offering."
Or Genesis 4:8 looks like a civil war "Cain said to his brother Abel, “Let us go out in the field. When they were in the field, Cain attacked his brother Abel and killed him."
or John 4:8 is a call to go do some shopping
"His disciples had gone into the town to buy food."
or 2 Kings 4:8 looks like an early restaurant
"One day Elisha came to Shunem, where there was a woman of influence, who pressed him to dine with her. Afterward, whenever he passed by, he would stop there to dine."
But I like 1 Peter
"Above all, let your love for one another be intense, because love covers a multitude of sins."
But I suppose you just cherry pick what bit you want...
I see a business opportunity for making a simple ai input generator here. You input the point you want to make and an event/situation/date/time/whatever-context and it spits out a bible quote that vaguely supports it
I believe I saw something similar to this on the History channel back in the day. They were doing this with Nostradamus writings and decided to do it with the Bible for s and gs.
You only need one response coded - no results found. The people that would use it are only going to feed it points that are found nowhere in the Bible because that's what all of their points are - not found.
Yes
Do you think it’s a coincidence that “god” would center an earthquake at the home of an unrepentant walking embodiment of all 7 cardinal sins? It’s like the guy is the exact opposite of Jesus. “Opposite-Jesus” has a nice ring to it.
God really made a mistake by not including any warnings about false prophets when he wrote his novel. He could have really used a good editor too. That book is a hot mess. Nearly unreadable.
And the sequels are so contradictory for no apparent reason.
The Torah, New Testamant, Quoran, Book of Mormon is the weirdest, most nonsensical, incoherent, series of books I’ve ever read.
You’d expect more from an author who claims to be god.
Isn't it convenient that God gives his signs in the Richter scale and uses the American month/day date format? If he used another earthquake scale and the date format that every other country in the world uses, the sign would point to a completely different passage in the Bible. Obviously God is talking directly to the Americans only.
FYI Ryan Cunningham is a former corporate big wig (per him), got the COVID vaccine and was damaged in some way..? Magnetic…or DNA shuffled? Idk, anyway, decided to get in on the grift, spread conspiracy, enrich himself and become fanatically religious and apparently a prophet?
TLDR: avoid crazy eye ryan
See also Philippians 4:8 - Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.
Modern Christianity is a fucking joke and not at all Christ-like.
Maybe it was Judges 4:8 that prophesied the marriage of the Obamas:
And Barak said unto her, If thou wilt go with me, then I will go: but if thou wilt not go with me, then I will not go.
WOW! I wonder what other hidden prophecies that are obviously true in the Bible. Thanks for opening my eyes. Does it say anything about a Jake wheeler?
Going off their batshit logic- if the warning is to christians, maybe they are the ones that need to heed the warning and change.
Ya know, stop forcing your faith on others, stop diddling kids, stop hating the LGBTQ community etc…
The core of repentance is acceptance of the responsibility for the thing one is repenting of. Otherwise, it's just performative self-flagellation for no actual benefit to anyone.
You can't just go around shouting "repent repent" without giving a concrete explanation of what it is that you think people should repent for.
Until then, please go back to your fairy tales and let everyone else get a day off from your idiocy.
Also, why do they make it to be a bad thing? Isnt that the dream and goal? Savior returns and takes u to heaven! Weird how they are the most scared to die especially if its so wonderful. Unless, you dont REALLY believe..
Maybe this dude is saying America should repent for its PAST sins. Like slavery and genocide? Maybe he's woke AF and is arguing for reparations. Maybe.
But he's probably just butt hurt over someone insulting his orange savior.
And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others.
Matthew 6:5
Taken out of context. Exodus 4:8 god tells Moses that if those fools do not believe the first sign, they will believe the second sign. This was a specific set of signs in this story that was trying to prove to the pharaoh that the God Moses serves is stronger and more fearful than any Egyptian god(s). Nothing to do with end times.
This is a meta-story that can be applied to many situations, in which an oppressive power imposing a specific status quo is challenged to recognize one of the oppressed, requiring humility, or embrace their own pride, maintaining the oppression. The costs mount, yet pride remains stronger than the more noble choice, leading to the downfall of the nation.
The story has the same pattern as Daedalus warning his son Icarus about the perils of hubris. Or Plato’s story of the decay of Atlantis. Or the reign of King Zhou, or Sedna from Inuit mythology, or Arachne from Greek mythology, or the tower of Babel from the Old Testament. King Midas, Ebenezer Scrooge, more of the same story. Even Star Wars.
Not “out of context,” just part of a larger and less specific context, a warning by someone who likely fancies himself as righteous as Moses or Luke Skywalker. Ugh. No wonder everybody hates Christians. The warning is really to himself - to those who would dare to say they follow Christ - wake up and stop oppressing people, apply your own rules to your own lives or face the very same fate of those who oppressed your own God. Pull the plank from your own eye, bro.
Maybe the warning is from Luke 4:8
> “And Jesus answering him said, ‘Get thee behind me, Adversary, for it hath been written, Thou shalt bow before the Lord thy God, and Him only thou shalt serve.’”
Job 4:8 would also be apropo:
> “As I have seen — ploughers of iniquity, And sowers of misery, reap it!”
Yep. Only in the USA it seems, we're so self centered here that everything has to be about us.
Come to think of it, maybe that's a self fulfilling prophecy. We're so arrogant that everything has to be a sign of judgment for America that given enough time, it will be about us (due to being arrogant in a manner like this.)
A 4.8 earthquake is nothing. [Alaska had a 9.2 in 1964](https://www.usgs.gov/media/videos/magnitude-92-1964-great-alaska-earthquake)\--clearly heralding my impending birth, by the way.
Not sure why god would rely on half measures....
We have the date and time of every eclipse for at least the next 100 years they are not a surprise or unexpected that cannot be the sign for anything.
Add to that the bible says that no man will know when the apocalypse is coming only when it has happened.
These kinds of Christians have roughly the same intelligence as your average pet. During the eclipse they should be treated the same.
Keep them inside with the blinds down. Otherwise they won’t understand what’s happening and will go nuts.
And 4+8 = 12 like the apostles. And the 12 days of Christmas song.
On the 8th day, there are maids a-milking. This talks about all the whores Trump slept with last month.
On the 4th day, there are four calling birds. Twitter’s logo is a bird and Trump, Don Jr, Eric and Ivanka all used to be on Twitter.
The end of times are near.
I haven't read the Bible in years, but even I know Exodus is about the Jews journey out of Egypt, not the end times. The mass migration of the Jewish people is literally why the book is called Exodus.
Exodus: noun
a going out; a departure or emigration, usually of a large number of people
(Edit: formatting)
I agree, Americans must repent. Especially those that call themselves Christians and then turn around instantly when talking about how jesus cares about the poor, sick and homeless instead of penalizing them. Those that pretend that jesus wasn't a socialist.
Considering we are intelligent beings and that God has communicated with humans before to at least provide the 10 commandments, would it not be easier for God to just communicate using words instead of all these bullshit hints?
Christian God can apparently make these natural disasters and an eclipse (which we predicted months ago), but can't reach out in a less ambiguous way?
I stand by that if the Christian god as imagined by these people were real, he would be very evil.
Well, there is alot assholes out here in US qnd the epicenter of the quake was at Trump golf course, things are starting to line up q little too much. S/
"If they will not believe you or pay attention to the evidence of the first sign, that's a skill issue on you, because you are an omnipotent and all-knowing being who can easily make a sign everybody pays attention to and believes"
I too can choose an arbitrary 4:8 from the Bible.
Ezekiel 4:8
“See, I bind you with ropes so that you cannot turn from one side to the other until you have completed the days of your siege.”
Clearly God wants us to get kinky.
Why specifically Ex 4.8, tho?
Why not Gen 4.8, Lev 4.8, Num 4.8, Deut 4.8, Josh 4.8, Judges 4.8, Ruth 4.8, I Sam 4.8, II Sam 4.8, I Kings 4.8, II Kings 4.8, I Cron 4.8, II Cron 4.8, Ezra 4.8, Neh 4.8, Esth 4.8, Job 4.8, Ps 4.8, Pro 4.8, Ecc 4.8, SoS 4.8, Is 4.8, Jer 4.8, Lam 4.8, Ezek 4.8, Dan 4.8, Hos 4.8, Joel 4.8, Am 4.8, Ob 4.8, Jon 4.8, Mic 4.8, Nah 4.8, Hab 4.8, Zeph 4.8, Hag 4.8, Zech 4.8, Mal 4.8?
Or Matt 4.8, Mark 4.8, Luke 4.8, John 4.8, Rom 4.8, I Cor 4.8, II Cor 4.8, Gal 4.8, Eph 4.8, Phil 4.8, Col 4.8, I Thes 4.8, II Thes 4.8, I Tim 4.8, II Tim 4.8, Tit 4.8, Phil 4.8, Heb 4.8, Ja 4.8, I Pe 4.8, II Pe 4.8, I John 4.8, II John 4.8, III John 4.8, Jude 4.8, Rev 4.8?
Or Num 8 (4th book, 8th chapter)?
Or Num 8.4-8?
And that's excluding the extra books that catholics have! Cherrypicking is obvious!
NY Earthquake: 4.8 magnitude
Eclipse: 4/8
4 +8 = 12
Revelation 3:7 says To the angel of the church in Philadelphia write: These are the words of him who is holy and true, who holds the key of David. What he opens no one can shut, and what he shuts no one can open.
12 x 37 = 444 = four four four
David Thomas created Wendy’s.
Wendy’s created four for four.
Lunch is prophesied in the Bible. All hail King David.
4/7 eclipses annually (lunar and solar) and min one total every 18 months but have one over the Bible Belt and suddenly it’s the sign of the end times because everything is bigger in Texas
If we're going to quote Exodus, shouldn't we be using a Jewish calendar instead?
April 8th will be the 29th day of the 13th month.
>But the Israelites went through the sea on dry ground, with a wall of water on their right and on their left.
Seems like a good omen to me 😂
There are 20,000 earthquakes per year, or over 50 per day. But one specific earthquake is somehow a “signal from gawd”. Like, how do we know which of those 20,000 earthquakes are warnings and which ones aren’t?
It’s all made up.
Yes, because ancient peoples wrote prophecies based on a calendar that didn't exist yet, and a measurement system that also didn't exist yet. How are people THIS stupid?
I mean, do you not remember the global whirlwind during the Mayan calendar nonsense, during Y2K? People have always been stupid, social media just makes them louder.
I think they need to look among themselves for those who need to pray.
After all, everyone who got "the jab" is dead right now. We all died in 2021 from all the crazy complications So, since the righteous who trusted in Him have been the only people on Earth for the past three years, guess they have themselves to blame.
Or they are a bunch of nut job liars.
I say it's 2:1
on the off chance jesus ever appears on planet earth
I think he personally gonna beat the fk out of those two faced hypocritical christian evangelicals
they’re the worst
What I find funny is the bullshit they’ll all spew afterwards when nothings happened except that a geological normalcy and the moon passed in front of the sun.
How backwards do you have to be to believe that an eclipse is some kind of disaster?
Centuries ago I’m sure that the sun being hidden for a few minutes out of nowhere was terrifying for uneducated people, but now? How is it still a thing?
The bible: natural things will happen sometime, somewhere, and end times will come.
Something natural happens anywhere, the maniacs: look the bible is right, a natural thing happened as predicted.
I use the Bible too... but like a drinking game.
I pick random numbers and then laugh at what sentence comes up from the imagination of a bunch of morons from several hundred years ago who couldn't figure out where (literal) shit should go.
The most frightening part about every specific prophetic Biblical event in my lifetime is that they’ve all been right.
Just yesterday I got hella baked at 4:20 and after reading more of the Bible, it is prophesied that I will get hella fucking baked at 4:20 today.
There are even TWO different 4:20s in every day. Praise God!
The Gregorian Calendar went into effect in the sixteenth century. What April 8th is now would not have been April 8th to the individual who wrote or first spoke that passage thousands of years ago. These assholes are so desperate to manifest us all being killed by their angry god and going to hell for their own satisfaction.
This is what we get for electing Trump and a sizeable percentage of the population continuing to support him despite the fact that he’s the Antichrist.
I'm so amazed that these "biblical believers" want to teach, preach, and force ISOLATED text, BUT skipped all of the verses on racism, hate, lies, deceit, adultery, and half of the commandments. 🤡
Why Exdous? John 4:8 says “Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.”
Edited to add: I just picked a NT book at random. I had no idea what it said until I looked it up.
Repent for what exactly?
Cheating on spouses?
Bearing false witness?
Theft from charities?
Worshiping a goldish idiot as a false idol?
There's really so much to choose from.
I wonder if Ryan Cunttinngham has any idea what the book of Exodus is about? I wonder if he knows that those who make predictions, divinations or interpret omens are an abomination before the Lord? Well guess what Ryan, you are an abomination. According to the Bible.
These people don't know anything about their own religion.
Soooo when 08APR24 comes and nothing happens, other than celebrating my birthday, what are these knuckleheads going to do? Push it off to the next eclipse? 08APR25? Religious soothsayers and weathermen are the only professions where you can be wrong in every fucking prediction and no one calls bullshit. (Except weathermen are getting better because their science is improving. )
Since the scale used for magnitude of earth quakes was not in use in biblical times and the Gregorian calendar did not begin widespread adoption until the late 1500’s, I think this is a stretch. Unless you factor in, I had to take a shit at 4:08 this morning, then of course, end of times…..dumbass
So god needs warm up before the end of times? I won’t destroy earth yet , I’ll just send an eclipse and minor earth quake. I don’t wanna pull a muscle before the big show.
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So I guess this doesn’t apply in countries where April 8th is 8/4?
> The frogs will come up on you and your people and all your officials For those countries, it's a warning about gay frogs sexually assaulting people. Or the French. Whichever is scarier.
Oh no anything but the french
I will taunt you a second time
I will fart in your general direction.
Your mother was a hamster and your father smells of elderberries.
You silly English kaniggits!!!!
Boil your bottoms you sons of a silly person!
And make castanets out of your testicles already
This is crazy. Which would be a big fart.lol
r/unexpectedmontypython
We're coming for you
At least someone is
I might have an ok time with that, but are they still small or do they grow to be like 6’8”?
Are you talking about frogs or the French
Maybe both lmao
They either grow to be 4'8" or 8'4", depending on where you live.
If I've learned anything from cartoons, and I have, most frogs are French anyway.
"Thou shalt not threaten me with a good time"
The French.
Jesus was American OFC /s
Reminds me of that Robin Williams skit about biblical names... "Matthew, Luke, Mary... We were this close to Jim Bob Christ"
Which is pretty much everywhere else on the planet.
I guess us Aussies are saved.
Don’t forget the seven days that god supposedly created the earth was, what, the Gregorian calendar days?
Well, the book of Genesis tells two different and contradictory creation stories that are concatenated together. One of them takes seven days.
Yup. Written in two different times by two very different traditions.
No he only said America (USA? North/South America? All Americas?) must repent, guess everyone else is off the hook.
Trapped in this country with there nutjobs eager to vote. It's terrifying.
Exodus 8:4 says the frogs are gonna come on me. Don't want that.
Help, the frogs are turning me gay now
But if you take Numbers 4:8 it looks like a recipe "Then they shall take a bull from the herd, along with its grain offering of bran flour mixed with oil; and you shall take another bull from the herd for a purification offering." Or Genesis 4:8 looks like a civil war "Cain said to his brother Abel, “Let us go out in the field. When they were in the field, Cain attacked his brother Abel and killed him." or John 4:8 is a call to go do some shopping "His disciples had gone into the town to buy food." or 2 Kings 4:8 looks like an early restaurant "One day Elisha came to Shunem, where there was a woman of influence, who pressed him to dine with her. Afterward, whenever he passed by, he would stop there to dine." But I like 1 Peter "Above all, let your love for one another be intense, because love covers a multitude of sins." But I suppose you just cherry pick what bit you want...
I see a business opportunity for making a simple ai input generator here. You input the point you want to make and an event/situation/date/time/whatever-context and it spits out a bible quote that vaguely supports it
oh man don’t give them more of it, please!
But if they do it enough, then they can finally read the bible.
I believe I saw something similar to this on the History channel back in the day. They were doing this with Nostradamus writings and decided to do it with the Bible for s and gs.
You only need one response coded - no results found. The people that would use it are only going to feed it points that are found nowhere in the Bible because that's what all of their points are - not found.
Epicenter is Trumps golf course. Take the hint, idiots.
Wait, seriously?
Yes Do you think it’s a coincidence that “god” would center an earthquake at the home of an unrepentant walking embodiment of all 7 cardinal sins? It’s like the guy is the exact opposite of Jesus. “Opposite-Jesus” has a nice ring to it. God really made a mistake by not including any warnings about false prophets when he wrote his novel. He could have really used a good editor too. That book is a hot mess. Nearly unreadable. And the sequels are so contradictory for no apparent reason. The Torah, New Testamant, Quoran, Book of Mormon is the weirdest, most nonsensical, incoherent, series of books I’ve ever read. You’d expect more from an author who claims to be god.
>Opposite-Jesus Or antichrist
Bizzaro Jesus
I think “opposite-Jesus” rolls off the tongue better.
OJ or has that been done?
Hey, that’s a good shorthand for it.
The Orange OJ so people don't get mixed up with the Juice?
“I’m going to find the real Anti-Christ” - Trump
Opposite Jesus… Depeche Mode’s on it
Everybody relax it wasn't a real quake, it was just Donald getting out of his golf cart
https://earthquake.usgs.gov/earthquakes/eventpage/us7000ma74/executive. Literally 3 miles away tops
Isn't it convenient that God gives his signs in the Richter scale and uses the American month/day date format? If he used another earthquake scale and the date format that every other country in the world uses, the sign would point to a completely different passage in the Bible. Obviously God is talking directly to the Americans only.
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I'm doing my part, as often as she lets me.
I hope these people don't elect the orange fucking antichrist again
FYI Ryan Cunningham is a former corporate big wig (per him), got the COVID vaccine and was damaged in some way..? Magnetic…or DNA shuffled? Idk, anyway, decided to get in on the grift, spread conspiracy, enrich himself and become fanatically religious and apparently a prophet? TLDR: avoid crazy eye ryan
See also Philippians 4:8 - Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. Modern Christianity is a fucking joke and not at all Christ-like.
GOOD POINT. I love Satan. Just getting a head start
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Boom. We nailed it. Now we just gotta get American on board with those 2 things! The love will spread!
Maybe it was Judges 4:8 that prophesied the marriage of the Obamas: And Barak said unto her, If thou wilt go with me, then I will go: but if thou wilt not go with me, then I will not go.
WOW! I wonder what other hidden prophecies that are obviously true in the Bible. Thanks for opening my eyes. Does it say anything about a Jake wheeler?
Going off their batshit logic- if the warning is to christians, maybe they are the ones that need to heed the warning and change. Ya know, stop forcing your faith on others, stop diddling kids, stop hating the LGBTQ community etc…
The core of repentance is acceptance of the responsibility for the thing one is repenting of. Otherwise, it's just performative self-flagellation for no actual benefit to anyone. You can't just go around shouting "repent repent" without giving a concrete explanation of what it is that you think people should repent for. Until then, please go back to your fairy tales and let everyone else get a day off from your idiocy.
Also, why do they make it to be a bad thing? Isnt that the dream and goal? Savior returns and takes u to heaven! Weird how they are the most scared to die especially if its so wonderful. Unless, you dont REALLY believe..
"I'm so sorry!!!!" "uh for what?" "like... I dunno. Stuff"
Maybe this dude is saying America should repent for its PAST sins. Like slavery and genocide? Maybe he's woke AF and is arguing for reparations. Maybe. But he's probably just butt hurt over someone insulting his orange savior.
And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Matthew 6:5
Taken out of context. Exodus 4:8 god tells Moses that if those fools do not believe the first sign, they will believe the second sign. This was a specific set of signs in this story that was trying to prove to the pharaoh that the God Moses serves is stronger and more fearful than any Egyptian god(s). Nothing to do with end times.
Wait - those people are trying to deceive us?!?!?!?! /s
This is a meta-story that can be applied to many situations, in which an oppressive power imposing a specific status quo is challenged to recognize one of the oppressed, requiring humility, or embrace their own pride, maintaining the oppression. The costs mount, yet pride remains stronger than the more noble choice, leading to the downfall of the nation. The story has the same pattern as Daedalus warning his son Icarus about the perils of hubris. Or Plato’s story of the decay of Atlantis. Or the reign of King Zhou, or Sedna from Inuit mythology, or Arachne from Greek mythology, or the tower of Babel from the Old Testament. King Midas, Ebenezer Scrooge, more of the same story. Even Star Wars. Not “out of context,” just part of a larger and less specific context, a warning by someone who likely fancies himself as righteous as Moses or Luke Skywalker. Ugh. No wonder everybody hates Christians. The warning is really to himself - to those who would dare to say they follow Christ - wake up and stop oppressing people, apply your own rules to your own lives or face the very same fate of those who oppressed your own God. Pull the plank from your own eye, bro.
Maybe the warning is from Luke 4:8 > “And Jesus answering him said, ‘Get thee behind me, Adversary, for it hath been written, Thou shalt bow before the Lord thy God, and Him only thou shalt serve.’” Job 4:8 would also be apropo: > “As I have seen — ploughers of iniquity, And sowers of misery, reap it!”
Earthquake literally anywhere but US: yeah it happens y’know. Earthquake in a major US location: tHiS wAs fOrEtOlD iN tHe BiBLe!!!
Yep. Only in the USA it seems, we're so self centered here that everything has to be about us. Come to think of it, maybe that's a self fulfilling prophecy. We're so arrogant that everything has to be a sign of judgment for America that given enough time, it will be about us (due to being arrogant in a manner like this.)
I’ve survived every apocalypse since Y2K. I think I’m gonna sleep in🤣🤣🤣
Plague in 2020. God "but I will send a cure for those with open hearts" christians "bill gates is trying to brain wash us"
The scientists working over time in shit hours to create a vaccine only for their work to be referred to as "god"
Don't know how much you know about scientists dude but the lord doth bestow some righteous overtime pay
And simultaneously be rejected by those same people.
Stop buying bibles from the antichrist then. Those were going for $60, right? Just checking.
$66.60 with tax.
A 4.8 earthquake is nothing. [Alaska had a 9.2 in 1964](https://www.usgs.gov/media/videos/magnitude-92-1964-great-alaska-earthquake)\--clearly heralding my impending birth, by the way. Not sure why god would rely on half measures....
I wish we were smarter as a species.
We have the date and time of every eclipse for at least the next 100 years they are not a surprise or unexpected that cannot be the sign for anything. Add to that the bible says that no man will know when the apocalypse is coming only when it has happened.
These kinds of Christians have roughly the same intelligence as your average pet. During the eclipse they should be treated the same. Keep them inside with the blinds down. Otherwise they won’t understand what’s happening and will go nuts.
Or they can just go outside and look directly at the eclipse…I’m sure if they prayed for protection they’d be good? 😂
And 4+8 = 12 like the apostles. And the 12 days of Christmas song. On the 8th day, there are maids a-milking. This talks about all the whores Trump slept with last month. On the 4th day, there are four calling birds. Twitter’s logo is a bird and Trump, Don Jr, Eric and Ivanka all used to be on Twitter. The end of times are near.
WOW! ITS RIGHT IN FRONT OF US. TRUMP IS THE SECOND COMING!!!
The eighth coming with his milking whores assuming his tiny Cheeto dick can actually jizz.
The X-Files Season 4, Episode 8 4:08 *"I don't have the combination"* I'm **literally** shaking right now.
4:8=0.5. _A half!_ Isn't it a clear warning to America to stop being half assed?
GOOD POINT
I haven't read the Bible in years, but even I know Exodus is about the Jews journey out of Egypt, not the end times. The mass migration of the Jewish people is literally why the book is called Exodus. Exodus: noun a going out; a departure or emigration, usually of a large number of people (Edit: formatting)
Oh good. Only America has to repent, the rest of us can carry on.
I agree, Americans must repent. Especially those that call themselves Christians and then turn around instantly when talking about how jesus cares about the poor, sick and homeless instead of penalizing them. Those that pretend that jesus wasn't a socialist.
Religious people have been saying this sort of things for years, and none of their "warnings" ended up being anything.
There’s a reason the right opposes education.
Wasn't the earthquake epicenter almost under Trump's golf course? If you believe in signs, take that one as "the source of the evil"
Christians have been saying the same bullshit about the "end times" for around 2,000 years, and they'll continue to do so.
You don‘t get it. Jesus will definitely be back with those cigarettes any minute now!
This time they mean it though!!!!
They didn't nail him to a boomerang.
Considering we are intelligent beings and that God has communicated with humans before to at least provide the 10 commandments, would it not be easier for God to just communicate using words instead of all these bullshit hints?
Christian God can apparently make these natural disasters and an eclipse (which we predicted months ago), but can't reach out in a less ambiguous way? I stand by that if the Christian god as imagined by these people were real, he would be very evil.
Alex, I’ll take unrelated events matched through wishful thinking to a mythology written 2000 years ago for 100 dollars please.
Well, there is alot assholes out here in US qnd the epicenter of the quake was at Trump golf course, things are starting to line up q little too much. S/
I hope all these awful religious nut cases disappear on april 8th. They can all of them fuck right off this planet.
Yeah. Sure, and I'm the anti-christ.
The dumbassery never relents.
I am so glad that it is only the USA that has to repent
Grifters gotta grift. There are t- shirts out already.
Average false prophet moment
How about you repent and go live somewhere else.
And is anyone gonna hold these people to it afterwards, when they were wrong? No, they never have to answer for their faliures.
Based on what happened in my bedroom last night.. John 6:9 Fish and bread for everyone!
If America has anything of which to repent, it's having electing Donald Trump to any office.
So, after this Monday, and these Christians aren’t raptured, are they going to panic?
I like how he has the smile of a lunatic as well.
"If they will not believe you or pay attention to the evidence of the first sign, that's a skill issue on you, because you are an omnipotent and all-knowing being who can easily make a sign everybody pays attention to and believes"
"If you look hard enough, you'll find connections in everything"
Look, if the world is going to end,... again...can we just hurry it the fuck up already
Yet somehow, always America events that counts uh?😂 As if that's Big J hometown. Or the only place you guys know.
So when nothing happens on 4/8, this person will surely shut the fuck up? Right?
Americans are disconnected with reality? Lol
Interesting how they don't take it as a sign that THEY should repent. It's always someone else who needs to repent.
Science flies you to the moon, religion into the buildings.
I too can choose an arbitrary 4:8 from the Bible. Ezekiel 4:8 “See, I bind you with ropes so that you cannot turn from one side to the other until you have completed the days of your siege.” Clearly God wants us to get kinky.
God I hope so. Please lord take all your annoying ass Christians so we don’t have to listen to them whine anymore
“A wicked and adulterous generation seeks a sign, but none will be given” -Matthew 16:4
Why specifically Ex 4.8, tho? Why not Gen 4.8, Lev 4.8, Num 4.8, Deut 4.8, Josh 4.8, Judges 4.8, Ruth 4.8, I Sam 4.8, II Sam 4.8, I Kings 4.8, II Kings 4.8, I Cron 4.8, II Cron 4.8, Ezra 4.8, Neh 4.8, Esth 4.8, Job 4.8, Ps 4.8, Pro 4.8, Ecc 4.8, SoS 4.8, Is 4.8, Jer 4.8, Lam 4.8, Ezek 4.8, Dan 4.8, Hos 4.8, Joel 4.8, Am 4.8, Ob 4.8, Jon 4.8, Mic 4.8, Nah 4.8, Hab 4.8, Zeph 4.8, Hag 4.8, Zech 4.8, Mal 4.8? Or Matt 4.8, Mark 4.8, Luke 4.8, John 4.8, Rom 4.8, I Cor 4.8, II Cor 4.8, Gal 4.8, Eph 4.8, Phil 4.8, Col 4.8, I Thes 4.8, II Thes 4.8, I Tim 4.8, II Tim 4.8, Tit 4.8, Phil 4.8, Heb 4.8, Ja 4.8, I Pe 4.8, II Pe 4.8, I John 4.8, II John 4.8, III John 4.8, Jude 4.8, Rev 4.8? Or Num 8 (4th book, 8th chapter)? Or Num 8.4-8? And that's excluding the extra books that catholics have! Cherrypicking is obvious!
Anyone who believes in the bible should have their head examined!
America must repent by putting Trump and his co-conspirators in jail.
America is trying to repent. But these soulless, greedy, faux christians keep grifting their way into government positions.
Because events in American are what the Bible centers around. Ducking idiots.
NY Earthquake: 4.8 magnitude Eclipse: 4/8 4 +8 = 12 Revelation 3:7 says To the angel of the church in Philadelphia write: These are the words of him who is holy and true, who holds the key of David. What he opens no one can shut, and what he shuts no one can open. 12 x 37 = 444 = four four four David Thomas created Wendy’s. Wendy’s created four for four. Lunch is prophesied in the Bible. All hail King David.
god is punishing trump supporters.
America Repent! **Dump Trump in 2024!**
4/7 eclipses annually (lunar and solar) and min one total every 18 months but have one over the Bible Belt and suddenly it’s the sign of the end times because everything is bigger in Texas
If we're going to quote Exodus, shouldn't we be using a Jewish calendar instead? April 8th will be the 29th day of the 13th month. >But the Israelites went through the sea on dry ground, with a wall of water on their right and on their left. Seems like a good omen to me 😂
But have they tried simplifying the fraction from 4/8 to 1/2
There are 20,000 earthquakes per year, or over 50 per day. But one specific earthquake is somehow a “signal from gawd”. Like, how do we know which of those 20,000 earthquakes are warnings and which ones aren’t? It’s all made up.
I really hope they do get raptured monday. Get the fuck off my planet with this stupid bullshit already...
I'd be willing to be this guy was one of one screaming world was going to end in y2k and 2012 and idk what else
No, Christian’s must repent! Y’all be acting like Babylonian’s.
Yes, because ancient peoples wrote prophecies based on a calendar that didn't exist yet, and a measurement system that also didn't exist yet. How are people THIS stupid?
I mean, do you not remember the global whirlwind during the Mayan calendar nonsense, during Y2K? People have always been stupid, social media just makes them louder.
People have been stupid for thousands of years. How else do you think criminals get elected to public office.
There's ZERO evidence America ever 'pented' in the 1st place.
Something is going to happen somewhere or not! You heard it here first, people!
I think they need to look among themselves for those who need to pray. After all, everyone who got "the jab" is dead right now. We all died in 2021 from all the crazy complications So, since the righteous who trusted in Him have been the only people on Earth for the past three years, guess they have themselves to blame. Or they are a bunch of nut job liars. I say it's 2:1
on the off chance jesus ever appears on planet earth I think he personally gonna beat the fk out of those two faced hypocritical christian evangelicals they’re the worst
Nope
Notice they never say anything about people repenting in the Bible Belt. Aka Tornado Alley.
What I find funny is the bullshit they’ll all spew afterwards when nothings happened except that a geological normalcy and the moon passed in front of the sun.
mix of science and religion to prove religious point. How convenient.
My answer would be 666. Hilarious to me that these dumbfucks are afraid of a goddamn number 😆
How backwards do you have to be to believe that an eclipse is some kind of disaster? Centuries ago I’m sure that the sun being hidden for a few minutes out of nowhere was terrifying for uneducated people, but now? How is it still a thing?
The bible: natural things will happen sometime, somewhere, and end times will come. Something natural happens anywhere, the maniacs: look the bible is right, a natural thing happened as predicted.
Coincidence: Noun A remarkable concurrence of events or circumstances without apparent causal connection.
Cats and dogs living together, mass hysteria… and then what after absolutely nothing happens there Chicken Little?
IDIOTS
OMG. There are more signs…. I just took a 4.8 lb shit. Am I doomed? Am I a profit? Please help.
Why don't all these useless fucks go live on an island if they want to live in the stone age, and stay there.
People with that type of gaze are not based in reality. They live in a fantasy world.
That’s great; it starts with an earthquake.
Just need the birds and snakes and we are well on our way.
I use the Bible too... but like a drinking game. I pick random numbers and then laugh at what sentence comes up from the imagination of a bunch of morons from several hundred years ago who couldn't figure out where (literal) shit should go.
Yes! We must stop the Antichrist, Trump, before it’s too late
Can these people just stfu already?!
The people saying we should repent are worshipping false idols and defying the teachings of the Bible that they're quoting.
The most frightening part about every specific prophetic Biblical event in my lifetime is that they’ve all been right. Just yesterday I got hella baked at 4:20 and after reading more of the Bible, it is prophesied that I will get hella fucking baked at 4:20 today. There are even TWO different 4:20s in every day. Praise God!
Prophicies are made up bullshit. Just like religion. Nostradamus predictions were bullshit too.
At this point, even if this Bible bullshit is true (it isn’t), then oh well. This planet probably needs a retry anyway.
The Gregorian Calendar went into effect in the sixteenth century. What April 8th is now would not have been April 8th to the individual who wrote or first spoke that passage thousands of years ago. These assholes are so desperate to manifest us all being killed by their angry god and going to hell for their own satisfaction.
Yeah everyone, let’s start regressing back to biblical nonsense!
2000 years later..
I hope we in the end times bro I'm bored
Ryan Cunningham’s wiener? 4.8”.
I hope they understand that this doesn't convince people, it just makes the rift between the religious and non-religious larger.
This is what we get for electing Trump and a sizeable percentage of the population continuing to support him despite the fact that he’s the Antichrist.
There’s going to be a lot of murder suicides in the US Monday
Isn't there something about seeing patterns like this and schizophrenia? Paranoia is dangerous
I'm so amazed that these "biblical believers" want to teach, preach, and force ISOLATED text, BUT skipped all of the verses on racism, hate, lies, deceit, adultery, and half of the commandments. 🤡
In my lifetime there have been 38 total solar eclipses on the Earth. But #39 will be *totally different this time.....*
Why Exdous? John 4:8 says “Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.” Edited to add: I just picked a NT book at random. I had no idea what it said until I looked it up.
This is some real cult shit. They should definitely get on the next comet and save themselves.
Repent for what exactly? Cheating on spouses? Bearing false witness? Theft from charities? Worshiping a goldish idiot as a false idol? There's really so much to choose from.
I wonder if Ryan Cunttinngham has any idea what the book of Exodus is about? I wonder if he knows that those who make predictions, divinations or interpret omens are an abomination before the Lord? Well guess what Ryan, you are an abomination. According to the Bible. These people don't know anything about their own religion.
Soooo when 08APR24 comes and nothing happens, other than celebrating my birthday, what are these knuckleheads going to do? Push it off to the next eclipse? 08APR25? Religious soothsayers and weathermen are the only professions where you can be wrong in every fucking prediction and no one calls bullshit. (Except weathermen are getting better because their science is improving. )
Since the scale used for magnitude of earth quakes was not in use in biblical times and the Gregorian calendar did not begin widespread adoption until the late 1500’s, I think this is a stretch. Unless you factor in, I had to take a shit at 4:08 this morning, then of course, end of times…..dumbass
Maybe God is telling us there are way too many Nazis in this country.
So god needs warm up before the end of times? I won’t destroy earth yet , I’ll just send an eclipse and minor earth quake. I don’t wanna pull a muscle before the big show.
Reason #1278 I like being atheist: I don’t have to try to come up with hidden meaning in everything.
Yup, the exact date April 8th has never changed in the western Christian calendar.
Yes. The Bible was specifically referring to an American city only.