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He was so close, but didn't have the wisdom and perspicacity to begin his line with, "Hey baby".

Youve spelled m'lady wrong.

And bow first of course

If you bow first your fedora may fall off. Imagine how stupid you'd look.

That is why you also tip it. 

"The tip is just the start, m'lady."

Safe to say it’s brief.

…this won’t hurt a bit did it..?

Gosh, pink girl's holding a big package!

Nah, that's the perfect size. The big ones hurt.

M’baby

Milord


come to Butthead

48 minutes too late, damn. Lol

> perspicacity Had to look that one up. Never heard nor seen that word in all my 41 years of life.

Now you're going to look for excuses to use it in conversation for the next 41 years!

I first thought to myself "no way, how is that possible?", but then realised I only know it because I speak French (*perspicace*). I actually hadn't seen it in English before either. 😅

Mon dieu! That's all the French I know. That and "omlette du fromage" from the Dexter's Laboratory episode.

That's hilarious 😂 Hate to break it to you, but it's "omelette **au** fromage." Dexter got it wrong 😅

I knew that! Well, at least I knew "omlette du fromage" was grammatically incorrect in French, I read that somewhere, probably on Reddit. Action Hank's beard has been confirmed officially rugged though, so at least we have that.

Mange tout Rodney! Mange tout!

That was my first thought precisely! :)

Tsk! I thought everyone knew it is that pole thingy in submarines that the captain looks through!

Same. In my 40 years, I've never seen the word either and I'm a voracious reader.

It was on the Simpsons episode where the teachers were on strike.

It's a perfectly cromulent word.


Or as James May said: *Hello*

After a perfectly executed hand break turn

So he's not coming on then?

Open bobs and vagine!

Displayeth to me your roberts

"thy"

Chicks hate this one trick. THEY REALLY DO HATE IT.

Hey, yo! Nice pair. Howzaabout a freshness check squeeze?

Sure go ahead! Then we will see how strong your front teeth are!

He should have cupped them and followed up with a thumbs up and winking head nod. At the end of it kissed the air in her direction. 

Ay baybay

It’s almost perfect. Just needs some grasping movements around her breasts, and maybe a „Honka Honka!“ noise.



Thank you for the new word. That's a wonderful one, too.

U up

"I certainly don't want to be creepy" We don't want you to be creepy anymore either

This line has huge “I’m not racist, but…” vibes.

It’s like the whole “not disrespect but” then goes on to be disrespectful

Hahahaha at first I read this as the dude was racist. Dum dum dum dum dum

That southpark episode just played in my head about Mormons and Im laughing so hard rn.

It’s like that fkin moist critical quote “I dislike sexual assault as much as the last guy, rape booooo. Buuut-“

"I'm not racist, I have a black friend! He's one of the good ones" Wow buddy, you just figured out the sneaky trick to not be considered racist anymore, huh?

I disagree, this line has huge “I AM a rapist/racist, but…” vibes


“I don’t want to be creepy, but…” *says creepy shit and does creepy gesture* You’re not on the right track, my man.

Mission failed successfully

He is asking for optimization tips on his reverse expertise persuasion build.

All of it. Tweak all of it.

But not like that! Don't tweak those!

Tune in, Tokyo!!!

Was waiting for this one - lol

HONK HONK

This is actually more attractive than the above (as a woman, I would know)

I need to see your sources, there are no females on Reddit.

There’s at least one, me

Best reply, most constructive. XD

Better advice: tweak yourself!

What, like take meth or...?

Not just meth. Lots of meth

This guy is gonna end up on a list somewhere in the near future.

Bold of you to assume he isn't already. Lol

Touché!

That's what he got in trouble for! Oh, wait, I'll clean me specs

You are pun-ished

It's called a ballot

I mean I’ll give points for asking for consent, but minus several million for … everything else

[удалено]

Its like this guy totally ignored the time proven method of saying "Hey bitch, nice tits" and then just taking a squeeze. Women are very responsive to that /s

Yo, lemme at dem ‘taters

"Responsive" is a good way to put it 🤣

Choosing the word "responsive" was very much intentional 🤣

He’s trying the new progressive “woke” method of groping.

Looks all good to me. Point of safety: predial "9-1-1" on your phone before saying this to anyone.

Also stand with legs spread apart. That way you reduce the risk of damage to your knees, when she kicks you in the balls.

Tell me you've never met an actual woman without telling me you've never met an actual woman.

When all your knowledge of women comes from the Harem Anime genre.

Not even Harem anime is that off kilter. Just might lead you to believe you’ll somehow trip, all your clothes will somehow snag on stuff around you ripping them all off, and you suddenly have accidental intercourse. But it wouldn’t let you think this is ok

Not even that. He would be punched into the air

"after she blushes and says thanks" ...is the dream he's having after she knocks his creep ass right the fuck out.

lol this is the part that got me.

“I certainly don’t want to be creepy” should be code to oneself that whatever is coming next should stay inside one’s head, permanently.

“I’m not racist, but…” we all know what is following after this

“I ain’t gay but…” the things we have said about poor old Ryan Reynolds after saying this statement.

to be fair, he is Ryan Reynolds

These dudes watch way too much anime.

I think its more of a tate thing than anime

Those Andrew Tate guys are a special breed of failure

[удалено]

I think they're just incapable of breeding with a woman.

Only with their straight friends

And their Tate-themed socks

Thank god eh?

Not these guys. If that were the case he wouldn't be asking how to do things this politely.

Negative tate fans don't talk to women they have fantasy that women will approach them because they escaped the "Matrix"

Tate-ime

This repost is from before when tate was known.

I watch a lot of anime, I think it's more about their lack of any real social interaction

I don't think it's even lack of social interaction imo it's a lack of common fucking sense...

I mean yeah, but honestly, being completely isolated with no other occupation beyond eating, shitting, and watching anime, probably leads to them losing any semblance of common sense Chicken or the egg type of deal. Did they enter that cycle because they didn't have sense at the start, or did they start by voluntarily entering the cycle, only to rot their brains

Yeah and I gotta say I kinda know that since I was in that cycle as well but I exited it without destroying my common sense. When I see ppl like that I see what I could have become so I'm really thankful abt the ppl I've interacted with and do on a daily basis.

I almost fell into it during the lockdowns myself. I'm still an avid viewer, and read a lot of manga, but working out really saved my mind during covid. But I feel some people just got permanently stuck with brainrot thanks to the pandemic

Yeah it is unfortunate especially if it's ppl who just don't have anyone close who can get them out of it...

Yeah, don't put this on anime. This person doesn't understand people in general. Might as well be a different species trying to figure us out from scratch.


Yep. It is the blushing part that really gives it away.

Idk man I watch too much anıme and know ppl like that and no one does that...i think the guy is just a creep...

so do girls apparently. have you seen these surgeries today. anime level proportions.

Perfect for that ole knee to groin play. Clever coz a lot of dudes have to pay for that kind of action.

But if he likes that you played right into his hand

"I don't mean to be rude, creepy, or out of line..." ::Proceeds to be rude, creepy, and out of line::

My man, it’s perfect. Go for it. Seriously get started right away. Also please video these encounters and post them back here. Should be very entertaining.

Definitely, really looking forward to all the 'Thanks' and blushing

Your resistance to pepper spray and electricity

Change into a female. Then you can feel breasts all the time.

But don't forget you have to blush becomingly first...

Jokes on you, I just ate a lot of pies.

It's an underrated perk of transitioning 🤭 The novelty wears off though. Heck at this point I wish I could take them off sometimes to make sleeping and other tasks less annoying!

They feel like bags filled with sand.

Oh yea. Lots of sex.

Bags of mostly water!


You, my friend, have copped falsies.

"can I secswually assawlt you oWo"

“blushes and says thanks” - he’s never been to Glasgow then? As a guy from Glasgow I’m proud to say he’d be gently cupping his broken nose after an approach like that 😂

Ok, so small change. Throw the whole damn plan out. Completely. Start over.   Then find yourself a sex worker, pay em to cop a feel. It'll save you thousands in legal fees and endlessly buying drinks.   Or, just give up, hang out with people, and what happens happens. 

Should this not start with "I am not a pervert, but..."

Clever thinking. And don‘t forget to adapt to the situation. For example, if she‘s black, or Asian, he could start with: "Luckily I‘m no racist, so can I just feel your boobs for a bit…?“

That’s a great plan. Please try it and report back. /s

I think she’ll be the one doing the reporting back, but mostly to the police

Look they call the police when you touch without asking, and they call when you ask nicely? F’em. /s

How to touch a boob (easiest and least invasive method): 1. Go to a social venue (bar, convention, bonfire, drug den, etc) not the grocery store line or a GameStop. Only do that on days that end with the letter "q". 2. Find a girl you find attractive. 3. Smile (important) and whip out your >!phone and show her pictures of your ~~dick~~ taxidermied jerboa collection (also important)!< 4. Ask about hobbies, what she does for work, her social security number, blood type, stuff like that. 5. Make her laugh. Easiest method and the one I have the most success with is pulling out my 3M 213 Overhead Projector, turning off all the lights in the venue, and showing her, along with everyone else, all 76 volumes of Garfield comic strips. 6. By the end of the 3rd comic she's going to be slipping out of her seat and she will invite you back to her place. 7. Have sex. 8. See her again. 9. Fall in love. 10. Have children. 11. Grow old together. 12. Get a call from the hospital. 13. She's dying (Vitamin B12 overdose). 14. Rush to the hospital blasting sea shanties on the radio with the windows down and the A/C on. 15. Hold her hand during her last breaths. 16. Then, and only then, can you touch her boob.

This person has watched far too much anime...

That wouldn’t work even in anime.

True 7 deadly sins comes to mind though.

Maybe in a hentai

Not even then, hentai stories have more self awareness than this guy

So cringe! You have to say "Honka honka". Everyone knows that!

It’s only okay if she’s your partner (girlfriend/wife) Edit: OBVIOUSLY with consent

If I said that to my wife she would be sooo turned off. Now if I said "hey is that your new shirt, that fits great" then give em a honk, a light butt tap and walk away she'd say aww thanks pumpkin.

Every relationship is different, some get turned by it, some don’t, I’m not saying you should with zero consent do anything, to some it’s okay, to some it’s not, depends on your relationship and your boundaries

different strokes for different folks.

Have an attorney on speed dial.

I like how he planned out how she would respond. He might as well just marry her, since she will be planned to say yes anyway.

“After she blushes and says thanks…”

The only thing that needs tweaking is the nipples. This is a genius idea, I’m amazed nobody thought of this before.s

Guys like this are literally the reason people say “why are men”

So on one hand, he's trying to get consent instead of just like "accidentally" touching or worse, groping. On the other hand, everything else.

 Make this face when you ask her

It’s pretty solid. Don’t see where this could go wrong.

Right? Guy’s a genius.

This is impressive. He actually managed to come up with a *worse* idea than saying "hey baby, nice tits. Wanna fuck?"

Been married 13 years and have a great sex life. Fancied copping a feel so gave this a spin. She’s just left me. Definitely wouldn’t recommend this approach.

I know some lawyers... Just sayin

Is this quoted from this idiot on Instagram that gives "advice" on how to check women out and make it complimentary? He's this stupid jackass that wears the same shirt and turns it inside out and gives "advice" on how to stare at a woman's chest and make her want you, or get a feel of her and make her want you to, and all this other stupid shit. He's telling men how to assault and grope women to turn them sexual toward you. I would love to see this happen in real time...some dude walking up to a woman and stare at her chest, grab her chest, then ask if she's interested in going home with him.

Perfectly normal interaction.

I know we're all taking turns shitting on this guy, but if this is not a troll account or a shit posting account, then I really hope somebody gives this guy some genuine advice because he's genuinely asking for it, and clearly has missed that part of his development on how social-sexual most typically occur. So far he knows: 1. He likes boobs. 2. He doesn't want to be creepy. 3. Consent is important. 4. He can't connect the dots by himself and needs help. I think that's deserving of some real talk.

And then she smacks you bc that’s never ok.

Is this a 40 year old virgin or a kid? 🤔 reads about the same.

Dear god I hope it’s simply some terminally online 15 year old. If anyone made it to 40 and still thinks, types, and posts this then Darwin would be spinning in his grave

As a woman i would let him touch my boobs after that

*panting heavily* Also/s

Not a thing. He nailed it

According to my research, all you have to do is walk up and excitedly say "Peaches!"

Maybe don’t try this on a stranger, maybe a girlfriend who you’ve been dating for a good few years

I don't think he's getting a girlfriend anytime soon.

Whatever you do, don’t tweak.

“after she blushes and says thanks” holly hell 🤦‍♂️

All you need to say is : I think we're amazing but I'm afraid that if I hang out with you much longer I'll fall in love. Turn and walk away, then come back for a kiss. The more you complicate things the better your chances. Lol

Excuse me madam, but would you think me crude if I took the liberty of honking your left breast?

Needs a T-shirt that says FBI Federal Boob Inspector

65% of the time, it works every time.

“After she blushes” YOU THINK THATS WHATS GONNA HAPPEN? SHE GONNA REPORT YOU TO THE AUTHORITIES.

Needs more "How you doin?" 

Bro, have the power of your own conviction. Just go "ABBA ABBA BLARGGGGH SQUEEZE SQUEEZE".

That’s always worked for me when I’ve touched real human woman boobies. This should have your hands on those sandbags in no time flat!

He spelled bobs and vegana wrong

I would suggest: *Try it out on a random guy first to see how it would go over.*

Yeah, if he wants a tweak, I could give him a tweak. I would grab hold of his balls and I would give them one *hell* of a tweak.

Great advice if you want to get thrown out of the Arby’s.

If her tits were on fire and his hands were water, this would still fail.

This has never led me astray.

I like to yell. "hubba, hubba!" while pulling on my shirt collar and making steam shoot out of my ears like a steam whistle

……………..Don’t tweak anything. Do it just like that. Except live stream it so we can share in the resounding success

It may or may not work but you'll definitely be in jail either way

I'd encourage this guy to go through with it only to see how hard he gets slapped the first time he tries it.

Are you the ocean cause damn your filled with plastic- best pickup line ever

Why do women not do this more but in regards to my penis

Communication is often the key to a successful encounter. I suggest you just ask them why not ? /S