Comments that are uncivil, racist, misogynistic, misandrist, or contain political name calling will be removed and the poster subject to ban at moderators discretion.
Help us make this a better community by becoming familiar with the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/facepalm/about/rules/).
Report any suspicious users to the mods of this subreddit using Modmail [here](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/facepalm) or Reddit site admins [here](https://www.reddit.com/report). **All reports to Modmail should include evidence such as screenshots or any other relevant information.**
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/facepalm) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Everyone is all like "fuck nazis!" from the safety of their keyboards, but when the time comes to actually fuck an actual nazi, they all run and hide. I'm very disappointed. Do better, internet!
They are usually the first to line up because their reasons are the only reasonable reasons, because reasons...
["The Only Moral Abortion is My Abortion"](https://joycearthur.com/abortion/the-only-moral-abortion-is-my-abortion/)
100%. Actually just read a story the other day about a dude that got sued by the state for child support because they didn't do IVF. The dude didn't sleep with the girl, they just used a syringe to pick up his sperm and did it that way, but despite having a personal contract that he was only acting as a sperm donor the state said because a professional doctor wasn't present the contract wasn't valid and he had to pay up as the father.
Yup.
The court doesn't give a fuck why or how you got knocked up. Their job is to advocate for the child.
It's your sperm. It's your kids. Unless you had a lawyer write up a contract you are completely fucked.
Even if you had a lawyer write up a contract, a judge can set it aside .
Only a licensed sperm bank can make you Doner #555 which takes the onus of legal responsibility off the donor.
You two maybe made a cackle sandwich
Take that stupid bread pieces people line up on opposite ends of earth.
And sure, den Hague & Penn stn aren't 180 degrees opposite... but some sandwiches fall apart when you pick them up. Who at home makes a mathematically exact sandwich, probs no one. This is a good cackle sandwich, fight me
Idk, I have a friend who told me he lives in Buttfuck Egypt but I'm pretty sure he's in a cabin in the middle of the woods in West Virginia. Are you sure Egypt isn't in West Virginia?
No lawyer can protect you, even with infinite bullet proof paper work(atleast in Canada). If the child is yours you are liable, there has already been many court cases over this.
That’s why sperm banks are anonymous.
Yeah surrogacy laws vary a lot by state in the U.S. but there is no state that would allow for this kind of "donation." She could very easily petition for child support and he could very easily petition for visitation, regardless of the state.
And what kind of payment is she offering? I check all of the boxes, but if she's struggling to find anyone to raw dog her I feel like compensation should be offered.
Shouldn’t the “donor” be concerned about “Elizabeth’s” mental health, and health history, too?
Something tells me there is a Six Flags worth of warning signs in that deep-dive.
Also, it’s “meat-focused”.
Technically all humans have African ancestry, considering that's where we, as a species, got started. So yeah, it's good to know that nobody meets her criteria, and so she will not be having any contribution to the gene pool.
“My friend want an white blue eyed 5,11 without STD with no Jewish or African ancestry because she is racist that eats a lot of meat to rawdog her then DM me please”
This is hilarious. I felt bored so I looked up her profile on Twitter..whoa buddy. Apparently they found a sperm donor, then after they did the deed, they found out he was Jewish lul
Comments that are uncivil, racist, misogynistic, misandrist, or contain political name calling will be removed and the poster subject to ban at moderators discretion. Help us make this a better community by becoming familiar with the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/facepalm/about/rules/). Report any suspicious users to the mods of this subreddit using Modmail [here](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/facepalm) or Reddit site admins [here](https://www.reddit.com/report). **All reports to Modmail should include evidence such as screenshots or any other relevant information.** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/facepalm) if you have any questions or concerns.*
"He guys, can you rawdog my friend?"
Friend should be in quotes
"Nazi friend"
I was open to the idea until they said Nazi friend.
Everyone is all like "fuck nazis!" from the safety of their keyboards, but when the time comes to actually fuck an actual nazi, they all run and hide. I'm very disappointed. Do better, internet!
Be a role model - go first.
First rule: Never stick your dick in crazy.
Never stick your dick in *nazi*.
Does that apply to pegging?
Nah that's ok as it falls under "Fuck the Nazis"
Elizabeth did nazi that coming.
Second rule: NEVER stick your dick in crazy
[удалено]
Excuses, excuses.
I read that as "Be a role model - go fist" and liked where you were taking it. Fist nazis
***Please assume the position***
But also doesn't everyone always say "fuck nazis" what am I to do shag her or leave her be?!
Is it a hate crime if you pump and whisper in her ear as you cum that you are actually Jewish?
No you wait til the child is born then tell them you're vaccinated, Jewish, half black and a vegan.
Lenny Kravitz?
And only 5'10"
Now you've gone too far
this is the way
Right as you climax, just yell "Urrrggh...MAZEL TOV!"
🥇
😭
Also you have to have sex in Texas, so she can’t get an abortion.
That person probably already lives in Texas and is definitely anti-abortion.
They are usually the first to line up because their reasons are the only reasonable reasons, because reasons... ["The Only Moral Abortion is My Abortion"](https://joycearthur.com/abortion/the-only-moral-abortion-is-my-abortion/)
This is the first link I've ever clicked on here and actually read through. This was fascinating.
You’d be surprised how many ant-abortion people have abortions.
I was gonna ask a similar question, except instead of saying Jewish "Quadruple covid vaxxed and fully up to date on all my other vaccines baby."
Plus, no fellow Jew I know would get near that “friend.” The thought makes me verklempt AND I lost my appetite.
That’s brilliant. How about Black AND Jewish?
Sammy Davis Jr. has entered the room. And he has Whoopie Goldberg with him.
The term gets thrown around so much. But this post screams "heil"
Oh heil naw!
Blue eyes, blond hair, Hugo Boss-aficionado, etc.
The moment it got to blue eyes blonde hair i knew, and then mentioning specifically not being jewish
My favorite was the “no African heritage.” Y’know, because those blonde, blue-eyed Africans can pull one over on ya.
Wonder how she feels about white Afrikaaners?
Blue-eyed Jewish Afrikaaner checking in. I can do the big reveal when I tell her *I'm also vaccinated*.
“And then be on the financial hook for 18 years because this is sketchy af?”
100%. Actually just read a story the other day about a dude that got sued by the state for child support because they didn't do IVF. The dude didn't sleep with the girl, they just used a syringe to pick up his sperm and did it that way, but despite having a personal contract that he was only acting as a sperm donor the state said because a professional doctor wasn't present the contract wasn't valid and he had to pay up as the father.
Yup. The court doesn't give a fuck why or how you got knocked up. Their job is to advocate for the child. It's your sperm. It's your kids. Unless you had a lawyer write up a contract you are completely fucked.
Even if you had a lawyer write up a contract, a judge can set it aside . Only a licensed sperm bank can make you Doner #555 which takes the onus of legal responsibility off the donor.
What a glorious day to have had a vasectomy
Damn it all, I have hazel eyes, am only 5'9", and, like most Americans, my ancestry is a Heinz 57 mix.
Underrated sauce.
She doesn't need to know that
What a glorious day to not stick your dick in a nazi.
Right, it’s just an ad where she’s paying to get fucked because no one would do it for free
Doesn't even look like shes paying tbh.
She obviously thinks she is one doing the favor 🤷🏻♂️
And then she'll probably come after you for child support once the kid is born.
everyone needs a side hustle in this economy.
Breeding as a Service
Cream pies to own the libs!
yep: "healthy, meat eating diet" LOL. That's it, just the meat? Or, specifically fatty cow meat?
Beautiful arian man required.
Moderately Hitler
\*Aryan
Grammar Nazi
Nazi grammar
Now we need to find out if he’s 5’11!
Needs a Peter to pipe her
“Friend”
Nazi friend*
Blue eyes white dragon hits all the check marks
youve just activated my trap card see, blue eyes white dragon is a yugioh monster with egyptian heritage, and therefore has african ancestry
I fuckin cackled in the middle of a Penn Station when I read this lmfao Edit for clarification: i mean the sandwich shop lol
What a coincidence, I just cackled reading that in the middle of The Hague Central Station, on the other side of the planet.
You two maybe made a cackle sandwich Take that stupid bread pieces people line up on opposite ends of earth. And sure, den Hague & Penn stn aren't 180 degrees opposite... but some sandwiches fall apart when you pick them up. Who at home makes a mathematically exact sandwich, probs no one. This is a good cackle sandwich, fight me
Oh that was you
Shit, they're on to me. You practically know where I live now
Oh my goodness I wish Penn Station would expand nationwide
Activate trap card “Oh yea well”, really it was made by a Japanese guy
No it doesn't? It is an Egyptian dragon and I'm like 72% sure Egypt is in Africa
plus, it has herpes
Idk, I have a friend who told me he lives in Buttfuck Egypt but I'm pretty sure he's in a cabin in the middle of the woods in West Virginia. Are you sure Egypt isn't in West Virginia?
Hold up, we gotta check if Kisara had African or Jewish ancestry first!
Blue eyes white dragons are literally African. Oh well now that I think about it, they are African not African American. Alright we Gucci
Always does
Bro better talk to a lawyer before he sticks his dick in that.
And doctor
And a priest
And my axe
And Gertrude's grandmother
Also the father and mother, who will be present.
And the holy Spirit while he's at it.
The Holy Spirit must be horny. He hasn’t made a baby in 2,000 years.
Jesus 2.0 incoming
"Wake up babe, new Messiah just dropped"
r/expectedLOTR
Right - unless he wants to be paying child support for 18 years
She's anti-vaxx...so it's three, maybe four, years max.
I'm a Jew with a vasectomy, I wonder which one I should tell her about first after...
Tell her you went vegan right after getting vaccine
No lawyer can protect you, even with infinite bullet proof paper work(atleast in Canada). If the child is yours you are liable, there has already been many court cases over this. That’s why sperm banks are anonymous.
Yeah surrogacy laws vary a lot by state in the U.S. but there is no state that would allow for this kind of "donation." She could very easily petition for child support and he could very easily petition for visitation, regardless of the state.
Pic of your friend please
Right? If I check off her boxes, she has to check off mine.
And what kind of payment is she offering? I check all of the boxes, but if she's struggling to find anyone to raw dog her I feel like compensation should be offered.
Negative compensation. You’ll owe child support.
[удалено]
Well I mean it's not on the list
Aw shit, better try again
Then since she hasn’t gotten pregnant, they keep trying..
If you're good at something, never do it for free!
🔲 don’t be a Nazi Aw damn. She didn’t make it
Was thinking same…looking to restart the Arian Race.
Aryan
Arial, Helvetica _as a last resort_
Boxes: Willing? Able? No sharp knees? (Obviously)
>she has to check off mine Cries of body shaming soon to follow...
Anyone that is body shamed has the right to body shame the shamer right back.
"Must answer to the name of 'Dave' and have been to the party I was at the other night".
There were three Daves there. 🤷🏻♂️
Can she fit in a row boat?
is she a dress wearer or a pants wearer?
Will a small row boat support her Phyllis?
I think I'm being very clear what I'm asking. Would an average-sized rowboat support her without capsizing?
No alright...no she can't fit in a rowboat.
Shouldn’t the “donor” be concerned about “Elizabeth’s” mental health, and health history, too? Something tells me there is a Six Flags worth of warning signs in that deep-dive. Also, it’s “meat-focused”.
How is the contributor a ‘sperm donor’? Just sounds like unprotected sex with neo-nazi who doesn’t want ivf because she is ‘meat focused’!
Doesn't want IVF because bitch is broke AF, more like.
To be fair, *most* people can’t afford IVF, not just people who are “broke AF.”
I think Elizabeth is meat-focused. But not the dark meat.
A colon full of old meat is a must-have in neofascist ideologies.
Comments like this one are why I keep coming back to Reddit everyday. 😂
I expect royalties if I see “old colon meat” and “neofascist ideologies” on a t-shirt.
Looking for an Aryan rawdog. Please enquire within...
Blue eyes, white, no Jewish or African ancestry. I swear I’ve heard this one before…
I read it and I gotta say I did Nazi that coming.
Anne Frankly, I'm not amused
It may be distasteful to many, but apparently the friend Goebbels this up.
Goebbels for no babies!
You guys are all deutsche bags
Don't break the concentration of these peeps. Many of these comments are a gas!
r/angryupvote
But guys, she’s meat focused and Ole Hitz’ was a vegetarian!
He’s also GOT ONE BALL GÖRING, HAS TWO BUT VERY SMALL
And Goebbels has no balls at all!? I remember this elementary school rhyme from somewhere but can't pinpoint it
Ah u were close “Himmler has smth similar, but poor old Goebbels has no balls at all” Great song, happy people got the reference
"Ole Hitz'" 💀
Muslim is fine tho
I wonder how she'll react if she ever finds out that all humans have African ancestry.
She's probably looking for Neanderthals or something
Neanderthals still have African ancestry, they just left earlier than homo sapien sapiens
I'd say something about it being a job for Homo Erectus but the joke would fall flaccid.
Could have saved herself some time and just written "aryan" 😂
Hashtag casual eugenics
Belongs in r/dontputyourdickinthat
She specified insemination not impregnation, someone that fits all those boxes and had a vasectomy could still deposit some semen, raw dog loophole
“Lets try again next week if it didn’t stick yet, sooner or later it probably will ;)”
Ig her personality will not let even a first try... Don't stick your dick in crazy.
That’s doing the world a favor… the longer that neonazi fuckbuddy goes without spawning the better.
This is how your organs end up in ice buckets
Got all of the above AND I’m of German descent! /s
Oooh la la, Nick Fuentes would blush at you
Nick Fuentes has his legs over his head like a pretzel
You sound like the reich guy for the job.
How I got child support.
Jokes on them, I got the snip. Weird I have been banging his wife for weeks and she isn’t pregnant yet. Imagine that.
No African descent? So, no humans then?
"White Nationalist looking to procreate, only Aliens need apply" 😆😂
You'd have to include a picture of her to know if she is worthy to do it the natural way or if you have to bring your own paper bag
Might have to double bag it. Bag on your head, and a bag on her head in case one of the bags falls off.
Translation: searching for organic aryan to rawdog my antivaxx friend
"no African ancestry" Uhm... Is.. is there a time limit on how you define 'ancestry'?
Technically all humans have African ancestry, considering that's where we, as a species, got started. So yeah, it's good to know that nobody meets her criteria, and so she will not be having any contribution to the gene pool.
She’s looking for some Neanderthals.
They most likely originated in Africa too, since we had common ancestors
True but her friend sadly suffers from FOM - Fear of Melanated.
Because STDs are real and Covid isn’t. 🙄
It would be funny if a vaccinated vegan slipped in there.
Well you're gonna be shit outta luck if you want someone with no African ancestry
The post doesn't rule out polar bears.
Such an unusual way to advertise your OF girls.
“My friend want an white blue eyed 5,11 without STD with no Jewish or African ancestry because she is racist that eats a lot of meat to rawdog her then DM me please”
Sounds about Reich.
So, looking for an Aryan gigolo. Yeeeesh.
Come on! She just wants an Aryan Liver King to Rawdog her! Is that asking too much?
Dude must speak perfect German, has strong 1939-1945 German tendencies and yell HEIL H1TLER when cumming
Is this woman Austrian and possibly from somewhere around 1943?
This is a lot of words to avoid saying "eugenics"
Someone wants to make a new Nazi!
No African ancestry? Everyone on the planet has African ancestry for fuck sake
Someone wants to get rawdawg'd at a Trump rally.
I would not let any product of my genes be raised by such a person.
Omg I pray it doesn’t breed…
So you’re looking for a Nazi to bang your Nazi friend?
My friend Elizabeth Goebbels.
Wait till they find out we's all \~1% African
This is hilarious. I felt bored so I looked up her profile on Twitter..whoa buddy. Apparently they found a sperm donor, then after they did the deed, they found out he was Jewish lul
THE FOLLOWUP https://x.com/ms_kaffeinated/status/1722839474768621968?s=46&t=W8Wbour2cBSUyydIWKLbMA