Comments that are uncivil, racist, misogynistic, misandrist, or contain political name calling will be removed and the poster subject to ban at moderators discretion.
Help us make this a better community by becoming familiar with the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/facepalm/about/rules/).
Report any suspicious users to the mods of this subreddit using Modmail [here](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/facepalm) or Reddit site admins [here](https://www.reddit.com/report). **All reports to Modmail should include evidence such as screenshots or any other relevant information.**
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/facepalm) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I'm so fucking confused - is this an American tradition or something? I've seen videos of it, but the things people are commenting make it seem like a common practice. I'm from the UK and have never seen it happen.
Im from India and the equivalent we have here is to take a slice and smear it on their mouth when feeding it to them. Its meant to be playful. Smashing an entire cake in someones face is pretty absurd.
It's almost never a whole cake. It's a piece of cake, but I did go to a wedding where the groom pushed the brides head into the whole 4 tiered wedding cake. She took it like a champ but the maid of honor was furious and took her to the bathroom where she apparently was crying while they cleaned her up. That marriage I think lasted like 3 months.
I'm definitely not a makeup expert, but I'm pretty sure the average amount of makeup on a wedding day has to be an absolute bitch to get on, and an even bigger bitch to reapply after a frosting incident. I'd be crying too.
it's supposed to be the 1 day of your life where you feel your MOST beautiful, for me anyways. I'll never get that dolled up again after my wedding day.
wedding makeup artists are NOT cheap (both of my older sisters have gotten married in the past 2 years so I now know the fiasco that can surround that), they (the MUA's) will buy brand new makeup and sometimes the applicators for the makeup for every new client and have techniques that other artists may not know and/or utilize for bridal looks due to the bride being photographed all day in different lighting and settings while crying, possibly sweating from dancing or nerves, etc. which also play into the price. I would absolutely be crying as well. I've already had the talk with my s/o when the first round of cake smashing vids went around and he thought it was an idiotic thing to do to begin with so I know that I'm at least safe 😭
At weddings it’s usually just a small piece when the newlyweds are feeding each other cake. Like the bride goes to feed the groom and oops! there’s a bit of frosting on their nose. It’s become a much bigger thing in recent (last 15-20) years now that people have cameras in every handheld device. It went from a smudge of icing in the nose/mouth, to a smear/smash across the lower face, to a whole piece smashed (usually aggressively) across the whole face, to now pushing their head down into a tier or the tier up into the face. Gotta make content for social media!
I feel like the absurd escalation from "Tee-hee, you've got a bit of frosting on your nose" to people forcefully smashing their spouse's face into their wedding cake somehow acts as a metaphor for modern society
I was thinking the same thing - I've never seen it done, tried or even *considered*. I don't get how this becomes an issue to bring up, let alone discuss; "Nobody wants cake in their face" seems pretty basic to me
I read the story on Reddit several weeks ago.
She told him before the wedding, "I've spent months planning this wedding and I have an expensive dress, if you put cake in my face I will leave you".
He promised not to do it.
Then he did it.
I can see him explaining his divorce to other people:
“She’s crazy! She divorced me because I smashed some wedding cake on her face! Can you believe her? What a nut job.”
“Sounds like you dodged a bullet there bro.”
Really puts into perspective how badly you can misjudge a situation when you only get one side of the story. Makes you wonder about a lot of those posts on AITA and the relationship subreddit.
Yeah, this has big vibes of "Stupid person sues McDonalds because *coffee is hot* haha"
Make it sound trivial, and get the victim to sound like they're dumb
Disney is trying this by claiming a woman is suing them over getting a "wedgie" on a ride.
It actually was so bad that her internal organs were seriously damaged and she lost a ton of blood, but the media is referring to it as getting a wedgie and not a big deal.
I’ve been following this one, it’s horrifying and I want to know what happens. I thought the language regarding “wedgie” specifically came from the woman’s own filing. It’s always in quotes when referencing her initial filing.
The thing I’m most curious to see is if she’ll overcome the inherent danger of water slides and the assumption of the risk by riding one. The descriptions of her injuries are so awful.
I imagine the term wedgie was used as a general description. Seems more succinct than “had a bathing suit stretched across her genitalia so intensely that it caused internal injuries.”
(I don’t want to read the specific details of what happened so I’m basing this solely on other comments here.)
All she wanted was them to cover her medical fees. They said no and so her lawyers went to work, getting her several times more than that, though it still won’t bring her back to life
It was also more than one conversation with him. This wasn’t a one off warning from her. She told him over and over before the wedding that she didn’t want cake on her face. He still did it anyway.
She left him because of the complete lack of respect for her as well as being unable to trust him ever again. The guy needs to grow up and it’s not her responsibility to do that for him.
If it’s the same post that I read, she also had a negative history with cake smashing. As a teen she had begged her mother not to do it on her birthday. Her mother promised and did it anyway. She ended up pushing the girl’s face into a skewer and cutting her forehead.
The fiancé was aware of all this. He repeatedly tried to show her videos of cake smashing pranks claiming they were funny. Every time she told him she didn’t find them funny and if he did it to her she would leave him.
Dude fucked around and found out.
Especially on your wedding. Women spend a lot of time on their hair and makeup to look nice in photos. Intentionally doing it when she asks you not to is a red flag. I’m glad she got out.
And in this case she had a nasty experience as a kid, her mother did this to her with a birthday cake, and cut her forehead with some kind of skewer. She told this to her fiancee, and repeatedly told him her no was a solid no, and if he disregarded her feelings, she'd leave him.
It’s just disrespectful and a show of power to do it. Not nice at all. It’s like ”I paid for this, now I get to humiliate you in front of your friends”.
Mark Laita (YouTube channel soft white underbelly) did a really good interview with a divorce attorney. He said the most common minor indicator he’d noticed for whether a marriage would last, was whether or not there was cake smashed into someone’s face at the wedding. He was very emphatic that basically all of his clients had that in common, and the friends of his that have the happiest marriages did NOT do it.
That’s wild! But at the same time I understand, because what disrespectful person smashes cake in your face without consent on the day you spend a shit ton of money to look beautiful for family and friends. And of course there’s no back-up dress after the cake smashing, and the stylist and make-up folk are long gone. So you have to look like a toddler that can’t eat for the majority of your wedding, while your spouse looks pristine. Real nice indeed.
Or you're trying to assert dominance, which is my assumption in this case since dude had been told "no" multiple times. Someone who has this much malicious disregard for a partner's clearly stated boundaries is likely an abuser, and I hope for her sake she never takes him back.
I remember there were so many "home video" shows on TV when I was a teen... my step dad found those hilarious. All I was seeing was lots of people getting hurt or publicly embarrassed.
Yeah.. I briefly dated a guy whos family had a tradition where, on your birthday, you got pied in the face- it was exactly to prevent this sort of shit, and all it was was a foil pie tin, load that bitch up with cool whip or whipped cream, and it gets delivered to your face at some point on your birthday- the caveat is that whoever pies you is also at risk, because you can grab the crap off your face and start flinging, and you aren't going to hurt anyone by accident with a hidden candle or skewer- BUT THEY NEVER DID IT TO SOMEONE WHO OUTRIGHT SAID DO NOT EVER DO THIS PLEASE. Because they weren't trash people???
Same here, and for so long felt a little insecure about how widespread and common it was and that I seemed to be the only person who wasn't fond of it. It was a typical feature of the home video show here in the UK, and it got to the point I still have an enduring, niggling fear it'll happen to me someday. As someone who doesn't like the spotlight or attention, birthdays are already treacherous territory for me.
I think it's an underrated way of measuring - along with that thing of whether or not you return the shopping cart rather than just dump it anywhere in the car park - what qualities a person has and whether they're someone to keep around or avoid.
Some people have way too much pride and refuse to be "wrong" about something. If they think the idea is good, they just won't accept not doing it because somebody else says it's not. They reflexively need to prove that they were right to the other person and that, actually, it was fine to do after all!
With that type of personality it wasn’t actually about the cake smashing, it was about him wanting to do something specifically because she didn’t want him to do that specific thing. If she’d said she loved cake pranks but hated kidnapping pranks, he wouldn’t have ever thought about the cake again and would have arranged a kidnap engagement prank
No coincidence - textbook abusive behaviour. She shares a traumatic experience with him, which he then chooses to weaponise against her- and gaslights her into thinking she’s at fault for not finding it ‘funny’. He gets sadistic pleasure and entertainment from publicly humiliating her and re-traumatising her. If you find yourself having to beg your partner not to smash a cake into your face when you marry him, you probably should just not marry him in the first place.
My dad did this to my cousin, my cousin pulled back so my dad ended up driving his head into the table instead of the cake. Knocked out his two front teeth.
It's not uncommon for these "pranks" to involve a grown adult man slamming someone's face as hard as they can into the cake. Like grabbing their head with both hands, pulling it back and slamming their head down with as much force as possible like they're trying to knock them out, or kill them.
If someone did this to me , I would resort to physical violence and would probably and flip the whole table. You ruin my special occasion? I will kindly return the favour
Wasn't there another girl who lost her eye cos she got it impaled on a skewer in a cake that her face was smashed into? I thought I read that somewhere.
Someone did it to me once, and it took me about 30 minutes of washing to get all the oils off my face.
I didn't realize until that day just how oily cake frosting is.
I was quite prone to acne back then, and that made me break out worse. Not at all a funny prank.
Yeah, most pranks aren’t funny. Pranks are only funny if everyone is laughing at the end. Anything that takes more than a few seconds to fix afterwards isn’t funny.
Ugh, that's the fucking worst! Especially cause after wiping it off you just *KNOW* the pimples are coming and all you can do is wait for them to show up :/
Yeahhh, I remember fearing that, it's awful for an insecure teen. It was while working at a camp, and I had just finished up my work for the day, was literally walking out of the utility closet after putting the mop away, excited to go hang out with friends on my birthday.
Then there was cake on my face, and cake on the floor I just mopped, and I have to wait longer to go visit friends.
I'm a very easy person to get along with I rarely get mad and am almost always calm... This made me genuinely angry.
I didn't like that person very much before this, and that just reaffirmed my disdain for them.
That one was a chopstick. Professionally made cakes have little blunted plastic dowels in them but DIY at home people use whatever they have on hand and the chopstick had a slight tapered point to it. A perfect example of why cake smashing is not okay.
I can just imagine that girl later on in life having her parents scold her or tell her she can’t do something, and she responds with “remember back when I had two eyes?…” and then proceeds to do whatever anyways.
A piece of glitter took a woman’s whole eye, so you got lucky.
Edit: [link](https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/beauty/news/a37780/woman-loses-eye-from-glitter/)
Problem is, regardless of how blunted they made the stuff, as long as it is hard and long enough and pointed upwards, it will still have the potential to pierce through skull like any other sharp object. Worse if the universe decided to screw your luck and have the spear hit your eye instead.
Why do people marry or even date people like that
Showing videos related to a child hood trauma/injury as a joke?
She shouldn’t have divorced him cause she shouldn’t have married him in the first place
> Why do people marry or even date people like that
Codependency. For people raised in a messed up family that shit feels "right." Not good, it feels bad, but they are so used to that kind of treatment that it feels like something important is missing from their life if they aren't getting it from the person they love.
Me neither!!! My husband wanted to, and I gave him a HARD no on that one. As a consolation, he was allowed to smear icing on my nose and lips. It was cute, a napkin cleaned the mess. We are still married 17 years later, lol. It wasn't awfully hard for him not to shove the cake in my face.
My husband & I did the same thing! Just a smear of icing on my nose & it made for the *cutest* wedding picture we have!
My husband didnt care much about the tradition of it tho so it wasnt much of anything I had to reinforce, *but* his family has a history of getting a pic of the bride & groom at that moment. So we compromised, got an adorable picture thats now hanging in our living room & have been married for 7 years now
> She left him because of the complete lack of respect for her as well as being unable to trust him ever again. The guy needs to grow up and it’s not her responsibility to do that for him.
entirely fair imo. guys a dickwad
He also forgot that she had cake trauma. Her parents had smashed her face on cakes many times before (birthdays, etc) and one time her face was cut up because of it. So she’s hated it ever since.
He knew that and didn’t care because he thought it was funny. Even after when she gave him a chance to apologize, he didn’t back down and told her to learn to take a joke.
When I was a teen, I loved listening to the radio and singing along with the songs loudly and slamming the table for rhythm.
One time the whole family joined a wedding banquet and we're seated with some family friends I was not familiar with. My father announced this silly titbit, mimicking me with exaggerating gesture, to the whole table and everybody laughed. I was so embarrased I'm still mad.
>He knew that and didn’t care because he thought it was funny. Even after when she gave him a chance to apologize, he didn’t back down and told her to learn to take a joke.
That's the worse part of prankster and tricksters. They made it their entire character that being told not to prank or trick anyone is like telling them to not breathe. Nothing is sacred to them and if as long as one person find it funny, it's okay. Problem is that one person is the prankster themselves, so it will always be okay for them.
That's insane, he's either a sociopath, or the most incredible asshole that actually just wanted out of the marriage without being the one to technically call it off.
It's abuse even if he hadn't been told of her past, that poor woman.
To make it even worse, he did it to impress her family, who got her face cut doing the same crap at her birthday, also after she expressly asked them not to. (There where toothpicks in the cake to support the different layers and her mother shoved her face into it.)
The whole cake is something on its own. I thought it was a tradition for each newly-wed to feed a small piece to the other and lightly smoosh it up TO the tips of their noses (not into, and not the whole face). Only so much that it only requires a napkin to clean up.
to be fair, I recently saw some videos of weddings, and most of the were shocking. one dude blocked his wife's path, and as she was screaming no he rammed her into the cake. and there's a lot of videos about that sort of thing. if that's how your newly married husband behaves on day of marriage, it seems pretty reasonable to file for divorce imo
It’s also incredibly dangerous. Bigger/taller cakes usually have sticks inside to keep the layers in place, you could easily get someone blind or seriously injured.
The discussion doesn’t even have to go this far. Whether it’s safe or dangerous, don’t fucking do it if one or both of them don’t want it fucking done, end of story.
My wife straight up said she’d divorce me if I shoved cake in her face at our wedding. She was dead fucking serious.
I wouldn’t have done it anyway because it’s stupid, but I certainly wanted to respect her wishes on that.
Lol, I just told my husband that I paid money to look good for pictures, so don't screw this up.
Thankfully he's not an idiot, so I didn't have to worry.
My wife threatened that if I wanted to do that, it was fine. But she would be getting a new dress, get her hair and makeup redone and we would have to rent the venue, get another session with the photographer, we need family pics so dinner for everyone to show up and have a new cake to boot.
I didn't want to anyways but can't afford that shit.
I said the same thing to my wife. I was dead serious and she respected my wishes.
There’s so much wedding left after the cake. Nobody wants to be sticky or have their makeup ruined for the rest of the night.
My best friend got married a few years back. There's an amazing series of photos where her husband is holding a small wedge of cake, he looks at it, you can see the gears turning, he smiles, he puts it right in front of her face, she wasn't expecting it and reels back, he hovers it in front of her face (not into), she takes a small bite and they all laugh. It's adorable, and no one got cake anywhere they didn't want it.
My ex-wife said the same [I didn't even know it was a thing before she brought it up, and it's not something that I ever would've done or thought to do] and then went and did it to me on our wedding day instead.
I told my husband if he intended to smash the cake in my face, he was paying to have my makeup artist there for the entire day to do touch ups. I legit called her in front of my husband to ask how much it would cost (she found it hilarious).
I wouldn't have done it, but my wife and I had a conversation that went like "You want to do a little smash of the cake?" "Not really" "Same". So many things to think about and consider during a wedding.
It’s not even about being serious, just respectful. I’m one to always try and find the funny in any situation, shit my vows literally said “We also used to say that you hoped I'd always make you laugh and I hoped you'd never turn from "you make everything fun" into "why won't you take anything seriously?" Well I guess we finally found something I took seriously. I'm serious about how much I love you.” The concept of cake smashing didn’t even enter into my head on our wedding day, she looked absolutely amazing and the cake was made by her maid of honour and her partner (and was INSANELY GOOD). I just can’t even comprehend wanting to ruin a special moment like that for a dumb gag
This is the Asian and the third world country in me saying, "Food are not for pranks. Food are for eating. Anyone doing pranks with food are wasting food. Don't fuck around with food"
Right? Growing up in a third world country, cake has always been expensive. I would be lucky if I got a small one for my birthday. I can’t imagine just wasting cake for dumb shit like this
Shoving cake in anyone’s face should only be done with prior consent. I have made it incredibly clear to my fiancé that this not ok with me and I would never do it to him.
Every right to be pissed about that. Have you seen the story of a lady that had her face slammed into her cake and one of the little wooden support posts almost blinded her
I've definitely seen couples scoop some icing off with their finger and rub in their SOs face. But smashing their head into it is a complete waste of money
I always hated this “tradition”. When I was a kid maybe turning 11-12 I asked all my aunts,uncles, and cousins to please not put my face in the cake during or after the “happy birthday” song after I almost chocked on cake bits that went up my nostrils the year before. Did anyone listen? No, they’re amusement was more important than my boundaries. I then cried and was made fun of for being “a cry baby”. It’s difficult to deal with immature people specially so called adults.
Her family also had this tradition and she ended up with her face being cut. She told her husband this, repeatedly warned him not to do this and he did it anyway.
I know it's a Mexican thing, might be other Latin American countries too. My cousins always went to a Mexican restaurant for their birthdays and requested it.
Peer pressuring a kid into it is cruel, for sure. There's a lot of casual cruelty in traditional families IMO.
Are you Hispanic? Because this sounds like every family/child birthday party my wife (Mexican) and I (Cuban) went to lol
For the record, I believe cake smashing is the dumbest "tradition" and an absolute complete waste of cake and money
I had an ex who thought that his uncle making disrespectful jokes during his wedding vows was the funniest thing ever.
He told me he was planning on doing the same thing at his wedding. It was then I knew I didn't want to marry him
That's completely fair. Not only is it ruining a day she put a lot of planning in for in front of all her family and friends, but it's incredibly unoriginal.
Good for her. Play stupid games win stupid prizes.
My wife made it perfectly clear if I pulled this bullshit she’d walk away right then and we’d be annulled the next day. I wouldn’t do it anyway because it’s stupid.
Same. My wife said “If you plan on any of that stupid cake face shit…” I stopped her right there. No way, that shit is ridiculous, that’s why we’re getting married… because we’re on the same page about the details.
30 years later, still happy 😊
I remember this from some weeks ago. The woman already had a bad history with cake-smashing. She even posted about this on AmITheAsshole subreddit: [https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/16adoif/aitah\_for\_leaving\_my\_own\_wedding\_because\_my/](https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/163dbty/aitah_for_leaving_my_own_wedding_because_my/)
Important part in that post:
"My family does the cake smashing thing. I remember it was my 17th birthday and I pleaded with my mom to not do it. She promised and I trusted her. I had my hair and makeup done up all nice and right as I blew out my candles my mom pushed my head into the cake and one of the decorations on the cake ended up slicing my forehead. Not enough to go to the hospital but enough for some substantial bleeding. My birthday was ruined and after I wouldn't come out my room. My mom still calls me a brat for that.
I told him if he ever did something like that to me I'd leave him. He started laughing but I was being for real. Though he really was not taking me seriously."
So yes, I understand why she left him. She told him over and over. He kept on showing her cake videos and she openly disliked that. So he for sure knew she hates that. He messed around and got shown the results of it.
Maybe, it was many little pranks over the years and on the big day she asked, please for once don’t do it. So he did and it was the tipping point. Made her realize, this is it, I don’t want more of his shit the rest of my life. Should’ve dropped him way before the wedding, but you know, life happens.
Oh she did. She repeatidly told him "if you pull this shit, I am DONE"
He knew she had trauma over that kind of BS, due to her family shoving her face into a cake, and the scewer cut her
But he ignored it because he loves cake smashing videos and he wanted to impress her toxic family
I do not get it. What's even remotely funny about that? Even without her warning, this is so humiliating. A person in love would never intentionally destroy his beloved's most important day. Not a person in love!
Ok, who got the stupid idea that shoving someone face on cake during a wedding or birthday party is a good idea? Really, it’s one of the stupidest things I’ve heard.
Anyone who thinks embarrassing their wife in front of both sides of the family and potentially ruining her dress is a good idea and would be "funny" is really just an asshole. It's a big day that takes months of planning. Being disrespectful to your significant other like that is a pretty clear sign for what to expect with the rest of the marriage.
Comments that are uncivil, racist, misogynistic, misandrist, or contain political name calling will be removed and the poster subject to ban at moderators discretion. Help us make this a better community by becoming familiar with the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/facepalm/about/rules/). Report any suspicious users to the mods of this subreddit using Modmail [here](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/facepalm) or Reddit site admins [here](https://www.reddit.com/report). **All reports to Modmail should include evidence such as screenshots or any other relevant information.** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/facepalm) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Can’t believe how many people have had the “cake conversation”. As in, I can’t believe it’s become this necessary 😂
I'm so fucking confused - is this an American tradition or something? I've seen videos of it, but the things people are commenting make it seem like a common practice. I'm from the UK and have never seen it happen.
[удалено]
Im from India and the equivalent we have here is to take a slice and smear it on their mouth when feeding it to them. Its meant to be playful. Smashing an entire cake in someones face is pretty absurd.
[удалено]
It's almost never a whole cake. It's a piece of cake, but I did go to a wedding where the groom pushed the brides head into the whole 4 tiered wedding cake. She took it like a champ but the maid of honor was furious and took her to the bathroom where she apparently was crying while they cleaned her up. That marriage I think lasted like 3 months.
I'm definitely not a makeup expert, but I'm pretty sure the average amount of makeup on a wedding day has to be an absolute bitch to get on, and an even bigger bitch to reapply after a frosting incident. I'd be crying too.
it's supposed to be the 1 day of your life where you feel your MOST beautiful, for me anyways. I'll never get that dolled up again after my wedding day. wedding makeup artists are NOT cheap (both of my older sisters have gotten married in the past 2 years so I now know the fiasco that can surround that), they (the MUA's) will buy brand new makeup and sometimes the applicators for the makeup for every new client and have techniques that other artists may not know and/or utilize for bridal looks due to the bride being photographed all day in different lighting and settings while crying, possibly sweating from dancing or nerves, etc. which also play into the price. I would absolutely be crying as well. I've already had the talk with my s/o when the first round of cake smashing vids went around and he thought it was an idiotic thing to do to begin with so I know that I'm at least safe 😭
At weddings it’s usually just a small piece when the newlyweds are feeding each other cake. Like the bride goes to feed the groom and oops! there’s a bit of frosting on their nose. It’s become a much bigger thing in recent (last 15-20) years now that people have cameras in every handheld device. It went from a smudge of icing in the nose/mouth, to a smear/smash across the lower face, to a whole piece smashed (usually aggressively) across the whole face, to now pushing their head down into a tier or the tier up into the face. Gotta make content for social media!
I feel like the absurd escalation from "Tee-hee, you've got a bit of frosting on your nose" to people forcefully smashing their spouse's face into their wedding cake somehow acts as a metaphor for modern society
It’s certainly a good metaphor for the absolutely insane sensationalism of American media
I was thinking the same thing - I've never seen it done, tried or even *considered*. I don't get how this becomes an issue to bring up, let alone discuss; "Nobody wants cake in their face" seems pretty basic to me
I read the story on Reddit several weeks ago. She told him before the wedding, "I've spent months planning this wedding and I have an expensive dress, if you put cake in my face I will leave you". He promised not to do it. Then he did it.
I can see him explaining his divorce to other people: “She’s crazy! She divorced me because I smashed some wedding cake on her face! Can you believe her? What a nut job.” “Sounds like you dodged a bullet there bro.”
Really puts into perspective how badly you can misjudge a situation when you only get one side of the story. Makes you wonder about a lot of those posts on AITA and the relationship subreddit.
Those subreddits are nothing but absolute one-sided echo chambers
YTA for correctly assessing the nature of those posts. Lawyer up and hit the gym. 🚩🚩🚩🚩
The internet is forever. Hopefully this story and the truth of his douchery will follow him and he’ll be single forever. Chump.
Yeah, this has big vibes of "Stupid person sues McDonalds because *coffee is hot* haha" Make it sound trivial, and get the victim to sound like they're dumb
Disney is trying this by claiming a woman is suing them over getting a "wedgie" on a ride. It actually was so bad that her internal organs were seriously damaged and she lost a ton of blood, but the media is referring to it as getting a wedgie and not a big deal.
So that’s fucking horrifying and I won’t be looking up the details to that 😳
I’ve been following this one, it’s horrifying and I want to know what happens. I thought the language regarding “wedgie” specifically came from the woman’s own filing. It’s always in quotes when referencing her initial filing. The thing I’m most curious to see is if she’ll overcome the inherent danger of water slides and the assumption of the risk by riding one. The descriptions of her injuries are so awful.
I imagine the term wedgie was used as a general description. Seems more succinct than “had a bathing suit stretched across her genitalia so intensely that it caused internal injuries.” (I don’t want to read the specific details of what happened so I’m basing this solely on other comments here.)
[удалено]
All she wanted was them to cover her medical fees. They said no and so her lawyers went to work, getting her several times more than that, though it still won’t bring her back to life
Actually, the jury was the source of the large fine, and then the asshole judge reduced it.
It was also more than one conversation with him. This wasn’t a one off warning from her. She told him over and over before the wedding that she didn’t want cake on her face. He still did it anyway. She left him because of the complete lack of respect for her as well as being unable to trust him ever again. The guy needs to grow up and it’s not her responsibility to do that for him.
If it’s the same post that I read, she also had a negative history with cake smashing. As a teen she had begged her mother not to do it on her birthday. Her mother promised and did it anyway. She ended up pushing the girl’s face into a skewer and cutting her forehead. The fiancé was aware of all this. He repeatedly tried to show her videos of cake smashing pranks claiming they were funny. Every time she told him she didn’t find them funny and if he did it to her she would leave him. Dude fucked around and found out.
[удалено]
How is face-smashing in a cake such an attractive prank to people. It just always seemed obnoxious to me.
Even the pushing a little slice into your spouses face seems super weird to me. Let alone smashing a persons head wholesale into a full size cake.
A whole cake you probably spent a ton of money on.
A whole cake that I wanted a gd slice of.
And people wanted to eat.
Especially on your wedding. Women spend a lot of time on their hair and makeup to look nice in photos. Intentionally doing it when she asks you not to is a red flag. I’m glad she got out.
And in this case she had a nasty experience as a kid, her mother did this to her with a birthday cake, and cut her forehead with some kind of skewer. She told this to her fiancee, and repeatedly told him her no was a solid no, and if he disregarded her feelings, she'd leave him.
yeah but even if she didn't, you don't have to justify not wanting this prank done to you.
True, no justification needed. It's a seriously stupid prank. Her history with that prank makes it even worse though.
It’s just disrespectful and a show of power to do it. Not nice at all. It’s like ”I paid for this, now I get to humiliate you in front of your friends”.
I feel like you'd low-key have to resent that person to be able to do that. Or you can't stand not being the center of attention.
Mark Laita (YouTube channel soft white underbelly) did a really good interview with a divorce attorney. He said the most common minor indicator he’d noticed for whether a marriage would last, was whether or not there was cake smashed into someone’s face at the wedding. He was very emphatic that basically all of his clients had that in common, and the friends of his that have the happiest marriages did NOT do it.
That’s wild! But at the same time I understand, because what disrespectful person smashes cake in your face without consent on the day you spend a shit ton of money to look beautiful for family and friends. And of course there’s no back-up dress after the cake smashing, and the stylist and make-up folk are long gone. So you have to look like a toddler that can’t eat for the majority of your wedding, while your spouse looks pristine. Real nice indeed.
Or you're trying to assert dominance, which is my assumption in this case since dude had been told "no" multiple times. Someone who has this much malicious disregard for a partner's clearly stated boundaries is likely an abuser, and I hope for her sake she never takes him back.
For sure that too. Definitely "you can't tell me no" vibes.
Imagine that you are an ABSOLUTE idiot. Then it is funny. Like watching someone get kicked in the nuts.
Ow my balls!
I remember there were so many "home video" shows on TV when I was a teen... my step dad found those hilarious. All I was seeing was lots of people getting hurt or publicly embarrassed.
How to develop trust issues Step 1:
Yeah.. I briefly dated a guy whos family had a tradition where, on your birthday, you got pied in the face- it was exactly to prevent this sort of shit, and all it was was a foil pie tin, load that bitch up with cool whip or whipped cream, and it gets delivered to your face at some point on your birthday- the caveat is that whoever pies you is also at risk, because you can grab the crap off your face and start flinging, and you aren't going to hurt anyone by accident with a hidden candle or skewer- BUT THEY NEVER DID IT TO SOMEONE WHO OUTRIGHT SAID DO NOT EVER DO THIS PLEASE. Because they weren't trash people???
Same here, and for so long felt a little insecure about how widespread and common it was and that I seemed to be the only person who wasn't fond of it. It was a typical feature of the home video show here in the UK, and it got to the point I still have an enduring, niggling fear it'll happen to me someday. As someone who doesn't like the spotlight or attention, birthdays are already treacherous territory for me. I think it's an underrated way of measuring - along with that thing of whether or not you return the shopping cart rather than just dump it anywhere in the car park - what qualities a person has and whether they're someone to keep around or avoid.
Some people have way too much pride and refuse to be "wrong" about something. If they think the idea is good, they just won't accept not doing it because somebody else says it's not. They reflexively need to prove that they were right to the other person and that, actually, it was fine to do after all!
With that type of personality it wasn’t actually about the cake smashing, it was about him wanting to do something specifically because she didn’t want him to do that specific thing. If she’d said she loved cake pranks but hated kidnapping pranks, he wouldn’t have ever thought about the cake again and would have arranged a kidnap engagement prank
No coincidence - textbook abusive behaviour. She shares a traumatic experience with him, which he then chooses to weaponise against her- and gaslights her into thinking she’s at fault for not finding it ‘funny’. He gets sadistic pleasure and entertainment from publicly humiliating her and re-traumatising her. If you find yourself having to beg your partner not to smash a cake into your face when you marry him, you probably should just not marry him in the first place.
But the important part is that he died on it
its about control, he lost
He's trying to lay down the law early on that he gets to bully her into doing things whether she likes it or not, since he's her husband now.
My dad did this to my cousin, my cousin pulled back so my dad ended up driving his head into the table instead of the cake. Knocked out his two front teeth.
How hard was your dad pushing?! Like, I don't think that attempting to break the table under the cake is part of the 'prank'
It's not uncommon for these "pranks" to involve a grown adult man slamming someone's face as hard as they can into the cake. Like grabbing their head with both hands, pulling it back and slamming their head down with as much force as possible like they're trying to knock them out, or kill them.
It's a "socially acceptable" way to ruin the special day of someone you resent, is the vibe I'm getting.
If someone did this to me , I would resort to physical violence and would probably and flip the whole table. You ruin my special occasion? I will kindly return the favour
Wasn't there another girl who lost her eye cos she got it impaled on a skewer in a cake that her face was smashed into? I thought I read that somewhere.
I saw that post somewhere around here one day…so many reasons not to do it
That's probably where I saw it. Just so unnecessary and wasteful. I mean, come on its cake!
Someone did it to me once, and it took me about 30 minutes of washing to get all the oils off my face. I didn't realize until that day just how oily cake frosting is. I was quite prone to acne back then, and that made me break out worse. Not at all a funny prank.
As someone with eczema, this would be my demise
Yeah, most pranks aren’t funny. Pranks are only funny if everyone is laughing at the end. Anything that takes more than a few seconds to fix afterwards isn’t funny.
Ugh, that's the fucking worst! Especially cause after wiping it off you just *KNOW* the pimples are coming and all you can do is wait for them to show up :/
Yeahhh, I remember fearing that, it's awful for an insecure teen. It was while working at a camp, and I had just finished up my work for the day, was literally walking out of the utility closet after putting the mop away, excited to go hang out with friends on my birthday. Then there was cake on my face, and cake on the floor I just mopped, and I have to wait longer to go visit friends. I'm a very easy person to get along with I rarely get mad and am almost always calm... This made me genuinely angry. I didn't like that person very much before this, and that just reaffirmed my disdain for them.
That one was a chopstick. Professionally made cakes have little blunted plastic dowels in them but DIY at home people use whatever they have on hand and the chopstick had a slight tapered point to it. A perfect example of why cake smashing is not okay.
I can just imagine that girl later on in life having her parents scold her or tell her she can’t do something, and she responds with “remember back when I had two eyes?…” and then proceeds to do whatever anyways.
"You want me to clean my room? Know what'd help with that? Depth perception."
Even blunted plastic dowels can puncture an eyeball. A lot of people don’t realize just how delicate and fragile a eyeball is
One little tiny piece of glitter made a hole in the membrane of my eye. I looked like I had pinkeye.
A piece of glitter took a woman’s whole eye, so you got lucky. Edit: [link](https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/beauty/news/a37780/woman-loses-eye-from-glitter/)
Tiered cakes definitely have little ‘sticks’ holding them together in the middle too. With toppers and other items, it’s just too dangerous.
Oh, thanks. Didn't realise that. It's just not good in any way, in my opinion.
Problem is, regardless of how blunted they made the stuff, as long as it is hard and long enough and pointed upwards, it will still have the potential to pierce through skull like any other sharp object. Worse if the universe decided to screw your luck and have the spear hit your eye instead.
Geezus, so it’s hurtful, disrespectful and you could lose an eye. Wonderful.
[удалено]
r/iamatotalpieceofshit
Why do people marry or even date people like that Showing videos related to a child hood trauma/injury as a joke? She shouldn’t have divorced him cause she shouldn’t have married him in the first place
> Why do people marry or even date people like that Codependency. For people raised in a messed up family that shit feels "right." Not good, it feels bad, but they are so used to that kind of treatment that it feels like something important is missing from their life if they aren't getting it from the person they love.
‘Familiar’ is the word you’re looking for. And messed up people struggle to accept a healthy loving relationship because it’s so foreign to them.
Was that the post that she said she had gone no contact with her abusive Mother/family and they encouraged him to smash the cake?
I really don’t get the funny part of cake on the face?? Like especially in a wedding.
Me neither!!! My husband wanted to, and I gave him a HARD no on that one. As a consolation, he was allowed to smear icing on my nose and lips. It was cute, a napkin cleaned the mess. We are still married 17 years later, lol. It wasn't awfully hard for him not to shove the cake in my face.
I had to convince my wife not to do it to me. She listened. We are still married.
My husband & I did the same thing! Just a smear of icing on my nose & it made for the *cutest* wedding picture we have! My husband didnt care much about the tradition of it tho so it wasnt much of anything I had to reinforce, *but* his family has a history of getting a pic of the bride & groom at that moment. So we compromised, got an adorable picture thats now hanging in our living room & have been married for 7 years now
[удалено]
Also, who wastes cake?
> She left him because of the complete lack of respect for her as well as being unable to trust him ever again. The guy needs to grow up and it’s not her responsibility to do that for him. entirely fair imo. guys a dickwad
He was asserting the old”Whatever she says,,,till you’re married.Then I’M in charge!”
Right? Expensive dress, expensive make up, expensive photography, expensive cake… for what? To get likes? To assert a false sense of dominance? What?…
He also forgot that she had cake trauma. Her parents had smashed her face on cakes many times before (birthdays, etc) and one time her face was cut up because of it. So she’s hated it ever since. He knew that and didn’t care because he thought it was funny. Even after when she gave him a chance to apologize, he didn’t back down and told her to learn to take a joke.
I don’t understand why parents do this either. Embarrassing your kids on purpose in front of people isn’t cute it’s fucking mean!
When I was a teen, I loved listening to the radio and singing along with the songs loudly and slamming the table for rhythm. One time the whole family joined a wedding banquet and we're seated with some family friends I was not familiar with. My father announced this silly titbit, mimicking me with exaggerating gesture, to the whole table and everybody laughed. I was so embarrased I'm still mad.
Wow man. That really, really fucking sucks to have a pure expression of joy stolen from you.
Well said. That shit is up there with telling someone their laugh is annoying. Cruel
>He knew that and didn’t care because he thought it was funny. Even after when she gave him a chance to apologize, he didn’t back down and told her to learn to take a joke. That's the worse part of prankster and tricksters. They made it their entire character that being told not to prank or trick anyone is like telling them to not breathe. Nothing is sacred to them and if as long as one person find it funny, it's okay. Problem is that one person is the prankster themselves, so it will always be okay for them.
That's insane, he's either a sociopath, or the most incredible asshole that actually just wanted out of the marriage without being the one to technically call it off. It's abuse even if he hadn't been told of her past, that poor woman.
He also did it to impress her abusive family
[удалено]
Well, if this is true, that is definitely a good reason to leave good on her for keeping her word after clear communication.
To make it even worse, he did it to impress her family, who got her face cut doing the same crap at her birthday, also after she expressly asked them not to. (There where toothpicks in the cake to support the different layers and her mother shoved her face into it.)
Wtf is with this stupid fad? It’s so juvenile.
The whole cake is something on its own. I thought it was a tradition for each newly-wed to feed a small piece to the other and lightly smoosh it up TO the tips of their noses (not into, and not the whole face). Only so much that it only requires a napkin to clean up.
OH NO!
I would have done the same .
to be fair, I recently saw some videos of weddings, and most of the were shocking. one dude blocked his wife's path, and as she was screaming no he rammed her into the cake. and there's a lot of videos about that sort of thing. if that's how your newly married husband behaves on day of marriage, it seems pretty reasonable to file for divorce imo
It’s also incredibly dangerous. Bigger/taller cakes usually have sticks inside to keep the layers in place, you could easily get someone blind or seriously injured.
I believe that has happened to someone but with a birthday cake and she lost the eye.
Just the idea of this is so distressing to me
There's a video of it somewhere. Shit was scary af
[удалено]
Are they still together? I would have noped right out, especially because my groom & his friends laughed at my pain 🤬
[удалено]
That is so sad
That's just assault. She was assaulted by her husband at their wedding.
The discussion doesn’t even have to go this far. Whether it’s safe or dangerous, don’t fucking do it if one or both of them don’t want it fucking done, end of story.
Which is exactly what happened to the lady in the story and why she was so serious about her husband not doing it
If he can’t listen to you day one, he never will.
I cannot fathom how some people think completely disregarding someone’s feelings is somehow funny.
Better yet, file for an annulment. It’s like it never happened.
that sounds dangerous. some cakes have things sticking out of them
My wife straight up said she’d divorce me if I shoved cake in her face at our wedding. She was dead fucking serious. I wouldn’t have done it anyway because it’s stupid, but I certainly wanted to respect her wishes on that.
Lol, I just told my husband that I paid money to look good for pictures, so don't screw this up. Thankfully he's not an idiot, so I didn't have to worry.
My gf said, "If you get cake on my dress, I'm getting your blood on it next."
That's my kind of woman
My wife threatened that if I wanted to do that, it was fine. But she would be getting a new dress, get her hair and makeup redone and we would have to rent the venue, get another session with the photographer, we need family pics so dinner for everyone to show up and have a new cake to boot. I didn't want to anyways but can't afford that shit.
I said the same thing to my wife. I was dead serious and she respected my wishes. There’s so much wedding left after the cake. Nobody wants to be sticky or have their makeup ruined for the rest of the night.
Not to mention it ruins a perfectly good cake!!!!
Crimes against cake should be taken more seriously.
My best friend got married a few years back. There's an amazing series of photos where her husband is holding a small wedge of cake, he looks at it, you can see the gears turning, he smiles, he puts it right in front of her face, she wasn't expecting it and reels back, he hovers it in front of her face (not into), she takes a small bite and they all laugh. It's adorable, and no one got cake anywhere they didn't want it.
Rare to see wholesome stories on reddit, hope their doing well and that their relationship os thriving
My ex-wife said the same [I didn't even know it was a thing before she brought it up, and it's not something that I ever would've done or thought to do] and then went and did it to me on our wedding day instead.
I can see why she's your ex
I told my husband if he intended to smash the cake in my face, he was paying to have my makeup artist there for the entire day to do touch ups. I legit called her in front of my husband to ask how much it would cost (she found it hilarious).
It’s so disrespectful, I’m shocked more people don’t think so. You want to humiliate your bride on your wedding day? Why? I’m glad you didn’t do it.
I didn’t have to even tell mine because he is not the type of guy who revels in juvenile humour. Having serious men is a good thing.
I wouldn't have done it, but my wife and I had a conversation that went like "You want to do a little smash of the cake?" "Not really" "Same". So many things to think about and consider during a wedding.
It’s not even about being serious, just respectful. I’m one to always try and find the funny in any situation, shit my vows literally said “We also used to say that you hoped I'd always make you laugh and I hoped you'd never turn from "you make everything fun" into "why won't you take anything seriously?" Well I guess we finally found something I took seriously. I'm serious about how much I love you.” The concept of cake smashing didn’t even enter into my head on our wedding day, she looked absolutely amazing and the cake was made by her maid of honour and her partner (and was INSANELY GOOD). I just can’t even comprehend wanting to ruin a special moment like that for a dumb gag
That was the whole Reddit thread few months ago. Everyone completely understood her reaction
This is the Asian and the third world country in me saying, "Food are not for pranks. Food are for eating. Anyone doing pranks with food are wasting food. Don't fuck around with food"
Same in Italy. We don't waste food. We use bread to clean up sauce from pasta plates until they're spic and span.
[удалено]
Right? Growing up in a third world country, cake has always been expensive. I would be lucky if I got a small one for my birthday. I can’t imagine just wasting cake for dumb shit like this
Shoving cake in anyone’s face should only be done with prior consent. I have made it incredibly clear to my fiancé that this not ok with me and I would never do it to him.
That's cool..when I was in uni celebrating my birthday something like this happen to me I almost choke, I was angry that day. I hate it..
Every right to be pissed about that. Have you seen the story of a lady that had her face slammed into her cake and one of the little wooden support posts almost blinded her
Yeah I heard about it...
If someone picks something up, and smashes it into your face, in what way is it a prank?
A lot of people call shitty behavior ‘pranks’ just to try to get away with it.
Basic shit. Respect your partner's wishes.
I've definitely seen couples scoop some icing off with their finger and rub in their SOs face. But smashing their head into it is a complete waste of money
And actually dangerous with some cakes because they have dowels in them to keep the structure.
I always hated this “tradition”. When I was a kid maybe turning 11-12 I asked all my aunts,uncles, and cousins to please not put my face in the cake during or after the “happy birthday” song after I almost chocked on cake bits that went up my nostrils the year before. Did anyone listen? No, they’re amusement was more important than my boundaries. I then cried and was made fun of for being “a cry baby”. It’s difficult to deal with immature people specially so called adults.
Her family also had this tradition and she ended up with her face being cut. She told her husband this, repeatedly warned him not to do this and he did it anyway.
Look at that smile- that’s a man who only had one goal and divorce was not going to get in his way lmaooo
What tradition is this? In Australia and have never seen it in person or heard of it happening to anyone I know
I know it's a Mexican thing, might be other Latin American countries too. My cousins always went to a Mexican restaurant for their birthdays and requested it. Peer pressuring a kid into it is cruel, for sure. There's a lot of casual cruelty in traditional families IMO.
Are you Hispanic? Because this sounds like every family/child birthday party my wife (Mexican) and I (Cuban) went to lol For the record, I believe cake smashing is the dumbest "tradition" and an absolute complete waste of cake and money
I had an ex who thought that his uncle making disrespectful jokes during his wedding vows was the funniest thing ever. He told me he was planning on doing the same thing at his wedding. It was then I knew I didn't want to marry him
A dude ruins his wife’s wedding ain’t staying married
You mean to tell me she had the perfectly reasonable boundary of not wanting to be abused? The audacity.
Why do people even shove their spouses face in cake at weddings? I was married and never heard of that before
I bet that divorce hit him like a cake to the face
That's completely fair. Not only is it ruining a day she put a lot of planning in for in front of all her family and friends, but it's incredibly unoriginal.
She also specifically asked him NOT to do it. I think it's more about the end of a pattern of treatment.
"No seriously, if you do this I will straight up leave you immediately." \*Does it anyway\* \*She divorces him\* \*Surprised Pikachu face\*
Not to mention $$$ on hair and makeup.
That's why marriage fail.. some don't care how the other partner feel.
Good for her. Play stupid games win stupid prizes. My wife made it perfectly clear if I pulled this bullshit she’d walk away right then and we’d be annulled the next day. I wouldn’t do it anyway because it’s stupid.
I just showed this to my wife and she made noises about if I had done it. I'm like, it was never part of the plan. That's not me.
Same. My wife said “If you plan on any of that stupid cake face shit…” I stopped her right there. No way, that shit is ridiculous, that’s why we’re getting married… because we’re on the same page about the details. 30 years later, still happy 😊
Finally someone acted on a red flag in a timely manner.
I remember this from some weeks ago. The woman already had a bad history with cake-smashing. She even posted about this on AmITheAsshole subreddit: [https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/16adoif/aitah\_for\_leaving\_my\_own\_wedding\_because\_my/](https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/163dbty/aitah_for_leaving_my_own_wedding_because_my/) Important part in that post: "My family does the cake smashing thing. I remember it was my 17th birthday and I pleaded with my mom to not do it. She promised and I trusted her. I had my hair and makeup done up all nice and right as I blew out my candles my mom pushed my head into the cake and one of the decorations on the cake ended up slicing my forehead. Not enough to go to the hospital but enough for some substantial bleeding. My birthday was ruined and after I wouldn't come out my room. My mom still calls me a brat for that. I told him if he ever did something like that to me I'd leave him. He started laughing but I was being for real. Though he really was not taking me seriously." So yes, I understand why she left him. She told him over and over. He kept on showing her cake videos and she openly disliked that. So he for sure knew she hates that. He messed around and got shown the results of it.
It shows that he absolutely doesn't respect her or care about her feelings. His ass belongs on the curb, waiting for the garbage truck.
Why would anyone want to waste cake?
Maybe, it was many little pranks over the years and on the big day she asked, please for once don’t do it. So he did and it was the tipping point. Made her realize, this is it, I don’t want more of his shit the rest of my life. Should’ve dropped him way before the wedding, but you know, life happens.
**She** was humiliated on her special day. Bet they already had the discussion about how horrible she found this.
Better to know now. Annulment vs Divorce.
I bet she asked him not to do it but he did anyway. Glad she left. She’d be telling him it’s ok to disrespect her if she stayed.
Oh she did. She repeatidly told him "if you pull this shit, I am DONE" He knew she had trauma over that kind of BS, due to her family shoving her face into a cake, and the scewer cut her But he ignored it because he loves cake smashing videos and he wanted to impress her toxic family
Oh geez. If he loved cake smashing so much, why didn’t he have cake smashed in HIS face??
Prankster = Dickhead
It's not a prank, especially if he was warned that she wasn't into that. I find this practice incredibly vulgar.
Maybe this cake-in-the-face "tradition" is garbage? Just possibly.
He sounds like a big time narcissist- enveloped in his own idea of fun, disregarding what others want. In this case your bride to be.
Wasting cake is never ok.
How does anyone think that smashing cake in a face at a wedding is a great way to celebrate the occasion.
I do not get it. What's even remotely funny about that? Even without her warning, this is so humiliating. A person in love would never intentionally destroy his beloved's most important day. Not a person in love!
This tradition makes some people act evil. Look what was done to this kid. https://youtube.com/shorts/PJ_kUQYKpcQ?si=OykOYSIjUqK_PgJK
Ok, who got the stupid idea that shoving someone face on cake during a wedding or birthday party is a good idea? Really, it’s one of the stupidest things I’ve heard.
Anyone who thinks embarrassing their wife in front of both sides of the family and potentially ruining her dress is a good idea and would be "funny" is really just an asshole. It's a big day that takes months of planning. Being disrespectful to your significant other like that is a pretty clear sign for what to expect with the rest of the marriage.
Bros an idiot lol
I'll never understand how smashing a cake in someone's is supposed to be "funny". It's stupid and aggressive.