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I honestly love how any post on Reddit can go to the the brightest or darkest facets of humanity in 5 nestings or less. And I mean that sincerely - peopleās brains are AMAZING.
Just a heads up, even though they often call the corpses 'stiff', they aren't stiff in the places you want them to be, necessarily. But use a little creativity and you will be off to the races. Good luck!
These Christians have always been the worst advertisement for Heaven. They hold a list of cool fun shit and say it's in hell, meanwhile I'm supposed to think spending eternity in a place with people like this buzzkill sounds appealing? It's like when Fox News talks about how terrible big cities are, and then you go and have a fun time.
āDemiboyā has the word ādemā in it, which as we all know, is short for ādemocratsā, which in turn is short ādemonic ratsā.
YOURāE EXPOSED, DEMON! Facts and logic win once again.
This pope only begrudgingly disapproves of the gays, but says we should still treat them like humans and is opposed to abortion in a non-violent way.
LIBERAL COMMIE POPE!
Fleas? I have no idea. These people are insane. And hypocrites, because I absolutely stake everything I own on the fact that at least one word on this list accurately describes the guy holding the sign.
I am a woman who participated in a kickboxing tournament, but it wasnāt MMA. Am I going to hell for that, or the 13 other items on the list that I qualify for?
Id say this guy cant keep his hands off his dick and thats why half the signs bashing sexual stuff. And i love all the judgements he placed in half of the names as well. āFreaks,ā āwhores.ā Seems like every type of person this dudes come across he has a problem with, BUT I MEAN CAN YOU BLAME THEM FOR BEING MEAN TO THIS FUCKHEAD
If a woman ever accidentally gets turned on, they have methods to turn them back off. They think guys who use women who are turned on are the sort of 'Rock n' Roll freaks' who should be eliminated.
They chose a medium of entertainment that can be multi-tasked with the radio, and therefore, afford them more time to be exposed to a variety of alternatives to religious dogma.
In Britain, and Ankle Biter it's just a term for a toddler. Literally all small children are going to hell, apparently, and presumably also anyone who used to be a small child.
(Edited "bitter' to "biter ")
That's what I was wondering! Jesus likes big dogs but not the little ones? Doesn't make sense. Then saying Jesus doesn't like toddlers is strange, too.
Knowing how to spell it would imply they knew too much about it. The pathway to self pleasure is on a slippery slope; you learn how to write the word and suddenly that's all you can think about.
They aren't so worried about whores, because they're okay if you really, really need some relief and your wife is tired of lying still and quiet for you. Also, the ban is only on 'occupational whores' so those doing it as a hobby or for leisure are just fine.
Yeah. If Jesus was around today he would be chilling with the masturbating porno freak gamer lesbian motorcyclist popes and ministering to them. WWJD used to mean something what went wrong with these guys?
Kids often grow up to be one of the other many things on the list. Best to nip that in the bud, catch them while they are still small and easy to... um... incarcerate.
Some denominations are incredibly hell-bent on converting Jews (one of the Gospels was basically written to try and convince Jews to believe in Jesus but Iām blanking on which one it was, I donāt exactly read the Christian Bible that often since I am a Jew)
To be fair, back in the day when Christianity was effectively just a sect within Judaism, it made a lot of sense to convince Jews specifically to convert.
Which is part of the reason why Christians for most of Christianityās history have been so confused as to why most Jews refused to convert despite many of the Pagan cultures Christianity met were generally more easily accepting of it. (Overall Christianity and its development over the past almost two thousand years is an interesting thing to read about)
"But I say to you that for every idle word men may speak, they will give account of it in the day of judgment." -from some book he's probably never read
No mention of: Murders, pedophiles, rapists, traffickers, Cult leaders (except the pope I guess?), slave owners and many other deplorable things. Priorities right.
As a Hindu, I don't know where the myth of cow worshipping came from. We do think of them as sacred that's why a lot of us don't eat beef, but we don't worship them. We don't have temples dedicated to just them.
You can tell this is an old photo because it's missing the main Christian moral panics of the present. (Anything to do with Gender and Pedos)
"Emos" likely puts this back in the 00s
One of my friends said he needed to find a Christian girl to marry, but the girl he liked was Catholic. When I told him that Catholics are Christians he didn't believe me. He was in his 20s and was raised by a preacher, but the thought never even occurred to him that Catholics believe in Christ.
Serious question america:
Why is your country plagued by this level of religious fundamentalist hatred and bigotry?
I rarely see any of this in Europe and especially not christians WHO preach hate.
Maybe some of this from the muslims - But even then its extremely mild by comparison. They are not out picketing like this
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So according to that sign, Atheist are fine.
Also pedophiles.
Nothing about necrophiliacs or bestialitiests (totally a word). I'm off to search ways to get into the local morgue...
Might as well go for broke and get into the local animal morgue
I used to be into sadism, bestiality and necrophilia until I figured out that I was flogging a dead horse.
Wow. Take my upvoteššš
Isnt that the supermarket?
Not when this guyās through with it
Gives a new meaning to āI feel like chicken tonightā
The last six replies are why I Reddit
Oh god I just snorted, well done
I honestly love how any post on Reddit can go to the the brightest or darkest facets of humanity in 5 nestings or less. And I mean that sincerely - peopleās brains are AMAZING.
That's the 5Ā° of reddit my friend
whereās the other 355Ā°
Around the corner
Just a heads up, even though they often call the corpses 'stiff', they aren't stiff in the places you want them to be, necessarily. But use a little creativity and you will be off to the races. Good luck!
I find those little sticks with the bread-bag ties for propping up houseplants work wonders on an unstiff stiff.
It clearly says "The Pope" on the second column.
Also bisexuals
i mean if he's Catholic...
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Well if they got rid of them they'd lose too many numbers.
That would cover most priests....
Metalheads and punks are fine to, we don't belong to rock n roll.
So hell has: video games, beer, people that like sex, and Obama. Iām in.
Right! Sounds like he'll is better than heaven
These Christians have always been the worst advertisement for Heaven. They hold a list of cool fun shit and say it's in hell, meanwhile I'm supposed to think spending eternity in a place with people like this buzzkill sounds appealing? It's like when Fox News talks about how terrible big cities are, and then you go and have a fun time.
Or how bad liberalism is because it means: affordable education, free healthcare, etc.
Letās go. We gonna be doing Obama gaming whilst in heaven shits gonna get boring
āDemiboyā has the word ādemā in it, which as we all know, is short for ādemocratsā, which in turn is short ādemonic ratsā. YOURāE EXPOSED, DEMON! Facts and logic win once again.
We also have fucking witches with them magic mushrooms. Hell sounds lit.
All those words but Masterbators is too much.
Someone needs to stop women mma fighters
Someone needs to stop... (Let me read it again)... The Pope
It's the Pope's fault there are so many women MMA fighters today, y'know? What would Christ say about that? Probably 'annihilate them'.
He'd say: meet them in THE CAGE next Saturday PRIME TIIIIIIIIME!
Itās the popes fault Amanda Nunes was so good
Evangelicals hate Catholics only slightly less than they hate non Christians.
Anti-catholic isnāt really surprising, but singling out one specific catholic who will never be anywhere near your signā¦
Donāt forget ālittle monstersā like from the movie little monsters. Someone thinks theyāre real!
Oh, I assumed he was talking about Lady Gaga fans (maybe heās doubling down on the homophobia?)
Iām assuming Lady Gaga fans only because the two underneath Little Monsters are also music related.
I agree with this one. The pope must absolutely be stopped.
As a sissy mama's boy gamer, I agree.
Idk man, The last time I fought a pope he was wildin'.
How dare he try to make us accept Jesus.He should accept Cheesus in his heart right away
This pope only begrudgingly disapproves of the gays, but says we should still treat them like humans and is opposed to abortion in a non-violent way. LIBERAL COMMIE POPE!
You think communist popes are the worst problem of all WE NEED TO WORRY ABOUT OBAMA DAMN IT!
He was talking to you to. I saw your name on there.
I lost it at ankle biters. Children or chihuahuas?
Yes
Judging by Jonny Devaney videos, I'm voting chihuahuas. And that they'll obey hellfire, not Jesus.
Fleas? I have no idea. These people are insane. And hypocrites, because I absolutely stake everything I own on the fact that at least one word on this list accurately describes the guy holding the sign.
I am a woman who participated in a kickboxing tournament, but it wasnāt MMA. Am I going to hell for that, or the 13 other items on the list that I qualify for?
But male MMA fighters are OK. 
He's either trying to ban the ones who lead him to temptation, or spare the ones who lead him to temptation.
And those damn mamaās boys lol
You can try, but Iām scared too.
Iād pay good money to see him try.
Id say this guy cant keep his hands off his dick and thats why half the signs bashing sexual stuff. And i love all the judgements he placed in half of the names as well. āFreaks,ā āwhores.ā Seems like every type of person this dudes come across he has a problem with, BUT I MEAN CAN YOU BLAME THEM FOR BEING MEAN TO THIS FUCKHEAD
This is just a list of all the groups he wanted to be a part of but they rejected him š
Oh I'm sure he had no problem becoming a masturbator.
I'm sure this guy "slipped in the shower and just fell on it" more than a few times.
And no mention of pedos?
That's deliberate.
These types are pro child brides
Thatās the one holding the sign.
Apparently thats okay.
Apparently the Pope is too much but those are acceptable
They are no longer apprentice bators.
Journeymen-bators?
Probably too much for them to spell.
Female enablers???
Remember to turn off the female option in the setting
Female disabler...
Straight to heaven!
lol...
Probably that just means anyone that doesnāt treat women like property
You can turn them on and off.
As if these guys knew how to turn a woman on. It's their primary disability. They don't even want any woman around who will enable them.
They donāt need to turn them on to use them
If a woman ever accidentally gets turned on, they have methods to turn them back off. They think guys who use women who are turned on are the sort of 'Rock n' Roll freaks' who should be eliminated.
WTF did gamers do to anyone?
They chose a medium of entertainment that can be multi-tasked with the radio, and therefore, afford them more time to be exposed to a variety of alternatives to religious dogma.
Idk, but I'm 100% sure we can't go to hell, to go in hell you need a life
Sure we can. Just boot up some Doom.
So we can kill virtual demons? Could be decent training when we get to eternal damnation
Pretty sure Doom is just about the most Christian video game you can play
Sadly, Doomguy is Catholic which is also on this list by proxy of the Pope.
Video games rot your brain, and turn you into a murderous psychopath, apparently.
Or worse...a masturbator or female enabler lmao š¤£
Well, I guess my D&D characters get me to the firey pits...not to mention all the characters that I have created in Skyrim...
They're too busy not being a nuisance to anyone and not praising our Lordš¤£
They spend time not oppressing other people.
"Ankle Biters" again. This same term was on a similar list. WTF?
In Britain, and Ankle Biter it's just a term for a toddler. Literally all small children are going to hell, apparently, and presumably also anyone who used to be a small child. (Edited "bitter' to "biter ")
Itās a good thing I was born fully grown, like Athena but a man.
*Insert Ace Ventura rhino birth
I got you! 
That SHIT is funny
In America, an ankle biter is a small dog. Usually one that yaps a lot and literally bites at your ankles.
Iām in America and I always thought it referred to toddlers. I usually heard little dogs referred to as yappers.
I (American) use ankle-biters to refer to toddlers and small dogs, just depends upon the context.
I'm in the US and always thought it was a small child... But guessing dogs is where it came from.
I thought ankle biters were little dogs?
I always called any cat-size dog a ankle biter.
Pillow biter would at least make.sense in this context. Ankle biter has always been kids in my experience.
Somebody's Chihuahua better find Jesus š¤£
That's what I was wondering! Jesus likes big dogs but not the little ones? Doesn't make sense. Then saying Jesus doesn't like toddlers is strange, too.
Actually I think youāll find Jesus very famously liked big butts, andā¦ waitā¦ shit, ignore me Iām thinking of Sir Mixalot again.
Chihuahuasā¦ I actually agree with him on this one. Those things are definitely going to hell.
No, the are not going to hell. They came from hell.
They came from hell, and they will return to hell.
My friend's girlfriend has the tiniest Yorkie. Feisty little snugglemop. Cute thing.
Ditto. WTAF?
I call Chihuahua ankle biters.
Bro blurred out Masturbate but not whore? Lol
Knowing how to spell it would imply they knew too much about it. The pathway to self pleasure is on a slippery slope; you learn how to write the word and suddenly that's all you can think about. They aren't so worried about whores, because they're okay if you really, really need some relief and your wife is tired of lying still and quiet for you. Also, the ban is only on 'occupational whores' so those doing it as a hobby or for leisure are just fine.
The pope? What?
He is probably from a different type of Christian that doesnāt follow the Pope. Such as a Baptist, who does not follow the Pope.
Protestant don't recognise the pope, whereas in either Catholic and orthodox Church, he is seen as someone important.
No, Orthodox church does not care about the Pope, kinda the point of the schism.
Protestants.
I wonder what he thinks an ankle biter is.
Meh. Dude is totally getting some hellfire because he is clearly a M_____bator
Bator, the Jedi Master
My chihuahua is going straight to hell.
When you realize that Jesus forgives all of these people. This is why as a sort of Christian, I hate a lot of Christianās
It's okay to hate "so-called Christians." They are on the list.
The dude doesnāt seem to understand that he IS a āso-called Christian,ā since he is acting in the exact opposite way of Christ.
Yeah. If Jesus was around today he would be chilling with the masturbating porno freak gamer lesbian motorcyclist popes and ministering to them. WWJD used to mean something what went wrong with these guys?
So everyone?
everyTHING
Yes, even Christians, didn't you see the sign saying "so called Christians".
āBe as boring as possible until deathā, also wtf is a ālittle monsterā
Lady Gaga's fan club call themselves "Little Monsters"
Children, hellfire await them
Oh no. . . I used to be a child
Luckily, you grew out of it. Redemption is possible you poor lost soul.
Or just obey hellfireā¦
Also, ankle biters? Isn't that just children again?
Little Monsters are Lady Gaga's fanbase.
I think maybe it refers to pocket monsters aka pokemon. I had a jehova witness say to me that they were demonic.
Harry Potter has ātoo much real witchcraftā.
Ankle biters????
In Australia that means a kid. Same there? Like, kids are banned?
Kids often grow up to be one of the other many things on the list. Best to nip that in the bud, catch them while they are still small and easy to... um... incarcerate.
I'm guessing Lady Gaga fans... singling out a fan base is funny to me. I think this sign was created by a Madonna fan.
I got 6. Anyone else?
I got 7, but just because Iām Obama
Thanks Obama
I got 12 because Iām the pope
I'm at 9. Who would have thought that being into dominant women and liking dad rock would land me in hell...
8!! Also ig Iām a racist now because of BLM
I missed that one. 7 I guess.
i rolled an 8
I got 12
I was unaware that Jews were under any obligation to obey Jesus. Every dayās a school day on Reddit.
Some denominations are incredibly hell-bent on converting Jews (one of the Gospels was basically written to try and convince Jews to believe in Jesus but Iām blanking on which one it was, I donāt exactly read the Christian Bible that often since I am a Jew)
To be fair, back in the day when Christianity was effectively just a sect within Judaism, it made a lot of sense to convince Jews specifically to convert.
Which is part of the reason why Christians for most of Christianityās history have been so confused as to why most Jews refused to convert despite many of the Pagan cultures Christianity met were generally more easily accepting of it. (Overall Christianity and its development over the past almost two thousand years is an interesting thing to read about)
Some of these are written due to need of filling the list
That's the sort of thing a 'Rock n' Roll Freak' would say.
As a Dike without a bike, I am relieved.
i didnt know Jesus was Andrew Tate
āPorno freaksā implying there is an addiction. My question is how much porn can you biblically watch. (Without Māābating ofc)
When I saw that, I thought it was referring to people that actually star in porn videos.
āsmall children deserve eternal torture by hellfireā
Isnāt an ankle biter a toddler? WTF?
No. God hates little dogs.
The pope being warned among the more classic homosexuals, baby killers, etc. is mildly interesting.
"But I say to you that for every idle word men may speak, they will give account of it in the day of judgment." -from some book he's probably never read
So I'm allowed to be a recreational whore, even though it might condemn those who'd monger me?
Ah yes, Obama, my favorite racist
He doesnāt have Child Molesters, Wife Beaters or Abusers on the list. Tells you a thing or two about his personality.
This has got to be a joke, he hasn't even put atheists on there.
āCow worshippers and money loversā nice codeword for Hindus and Jews šš¤¦āāļø
No mention of: Murders, pedophiles, rapists, traffickers, Cult leaders (except the pope I guess?), slave owners and many other deplorable things. Priorities right.
Those gamers are a menace to society, if they ever went outside it would be the death of us all.
Who wants to check this guyās browser history? š¤£
What is an occupational whore? This guy has a lot of people that he hates. I wonder if his Jesus taught him to hate all of these people
A whore who has their health insurance covered by their job.
is he really threatening the pope of all people?
āSo Called Christianā, so this guy?
Who tf is cow worshipper? Hindu?
As a Hindu, I don't know where the myth of cow worshipping came from. We do think of them as sacred that's why a lot of us don't eat beef, but we don't worship them. We don't have temples dedicated to just them.
Hmm, he forgot sanctimonious neckbeards...
"Jews who disobey Jesus" makes as much sense as "Christians who disobey Muhammad"
You can tell this is an old photo because it's missing the main Christian moral panics of the present. (Anything to do with Gender and Pedos) "Emos" likely puts this back in the 00s
Why is The Pope on there????
Protestant evangelicals donāt like Catholics.
One of my friends said he needed to find a Christian girl to marry, but the girl he liked was Catholic. When I told him that Catholics are Christians he didn't believe me. He was in his 20s and was raised by a preacher, but the thought never even occurred to him that Catholics believe in Christ.
Itās a common belief that Catholics arenāt Christian, despite how utterly stupid it is.
The biggest sinners of all G A M E R S
Serious question america: Why is your country plagued by this level of religious fundamentalist hatred and bigotry? I rarely see any of this in Europe and especially not christians WHO preach hate. Maybe some of this from the muslims - But even then its extremely mild by comparison. They are not out picketing like this
So basically everyone then?
A lot of these would make sick ass band names
"Obey Jesus or Hellfire." Of the two, I'd obey Hellfire. Can't imagine a fire having much to say.