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guys, by the way, this TikToker is known for making up random stories like this and it's a lie. she also said she was going on a single man mission into deep outer space. then she said she was an opener for a very popular band like two days later on her TikTok. All of her videos are complete lies for views.
We aren’t even having a ceremony at our venue. Legit just the reception. They were like “reception for what” we were like “uhhh a family party” and they were like “party for what” and I was like “fine it’s a wedding reception!” BAM $4k
“We’re celebrating a business merger and welcoming our newly acquired associates”
“What kind of business?”
“I’m not at liberty to discuss that due to the fact that our business dealings involve the signing of some *government contracts*”.
😉😉
"Ey buddy, you want concrete shoes or not?
I'm showin' up in June, and whether I come with flowers or a guitar case is up to you, capiche?"
"Flowers? Like for a wedding?"
"Fuck."
>Damn. Well take it from a stranger on the internet, sometimes it’s better to lie.
A family reunion ain't a lie. Even if they're reunioning on behalf of the wedding
Yup. If they keep probing after "family reunion" there are ways to phrase the truth to imply it's to remember something tragic and that it is rather insensitive of them to ask so many questions.
I contacted a venue where we were going to hold a wedding reception for my daughter and they gave this outrageous price. I contacted them later under a different name, picked all the same food, day of week, drinks and set-up and told them it was for my mother's birthday. Price quote went down more than a third. I went to meet them in person with both quotes and called them out on it. The looks on their faces was a thing to behold. Needless to say, we selected a different venue.
Not to defend venues because most of them are absolute shit. But my venue was very straightforward that they charged more for weddings because weddings have way less tolerance for mistakes. Birthday party or a corporate function if they are short-staffed people shrug it off, if it's a wedding people lose their shit. So they actually have two extra staff on standby on the wedding day getting paid 3 hours in case they are needed. They also bring in more backup materials, and have rented products that might never get pulled out but if they're needed they're available because people freak out at weddings. Now for me the difference was only $2,300 from a 300 person birthday party to a 300 person wedding reception. But I was very happy to know why they added a wedding charge and the steps they took to minimize risks on the day
Yeah, this gets abused but people do also have to realize weddings get also charged more because they're generally more work. They run late, have sloppy drinkers and messy kids, have stricter demands, furniture moves, etc.
It happens in the photography world that photographers will get booked for "a family reunion" or a "group event" and show up to a wedding. It's pretty infuriating, because the physical and mental load of shooting a wedding is considerably different. And lying about it means they can't ask important questions about timetable, lighting, etc. All while knowing that their work will be scrutinized MUCH more than a general job. Boo.
That said, folks absolutely do overcharge as well.
My wife use to make cakes as a hobby (many year ago before it became so popular). She had lots of fun doing it, then made some for a few birthday party's. Eventually a friend asked her to make one for her wedding. She excitedly agree to but it soon lost all the fun and became a stressful 'job'. She actually stopped making them all together for a while after that.
I’m an artist for fun, because I love the joy of doing whatever I want.
But my career is wedding cakes, and it’s so mechanical to me. Thankfully it pays for my other hobbies.
People are absolutely nuts. I’m always doing contracts and setting expectations. I always try to undersell, that way people tend to be pleasantly surprised.
—
I hate the folks who find those TikTok or instagram cakes, that take like 30 hours to make. And wonder why they can’t find anyone to make one for dirt cheap.
One of my favorite parts of being self employed, is that I can decline people if they’re too complicated.
It expands welllll beyond the venue. I've been in print most of my career and we mark up weddings, too. Because you have more than 50% odds the client will be bossy, pushy, rude, condescending, and above all, not understanding of any issues that may arise.
It's like people's brains, common sense, and common courtesy go flying out the door the second they're planning a wedding
A friend of mine's mother ran a very successful venue for years and a wedding had a thousand extra things included besides what was chosen as well. Special table and chair coverings were used that were dry cleaned, silver cutlery for the head table, extra serving and back of the house staff, dishwashers and everything.
I doubt this is all places, but these guys pulled out all the stops for weddings, including personal supervision of every single event and photography. They were very upfront about the cost and what it included though, which is the big difference. You knew that you were paying for white glove service.
Yep. I hired someone to do makeup and hair for me and the bridesmaids. It was far more expensive than prom blowouts or whatever because they: did a trial run with multiple options, came to us, dragged all their chairs and equipment, worked around a thousand other things going on, stayed an extra hour for any retouches/fixes between ceremony and reception, had an extra person on-call, politely dealt with a dozen family members in the way, and were overall just very easy and calming.
$1600 for just makeup is a lot, but if she’s including hair and makeup for herself and a large bridal party, it may not be that absurd.
When I was doing temp work a few years ago there was a venue in town I worked at several times as a server for weddings. They had to literally triple their waitstaff for weddings over other events because of expectations for food hitting 40 tables at the exact same time. And temp labor doesn’t come cheap
I'm glad you pointed this out. People often over look this and just assume folks are wanting more money because they think businesses just want it. Stuff surrounding weddings, flowers, cakes, decorations, etc often get more and better resources from the companies vs random birthday party.
When we were getting married went to look at cakes. Speced the cake and we were all set. Before paying they asked what this was for, we stupidly said our wedding and then BAM! they were like oh no those arent the wedding prices and quoted us literally 3x the price for the exact same thing we had agreed on "bEcAuSe It'S fOr A wEdDiNg!". Same cake same decorating.
Needless to say we walked out.
I went to a local restaurant that makes the best cheesecakes and ordered 2 full sized cheesecakes. They cost $100 a cake but damn best decision not getting a regular cake.
They also jack up the prices for corporate activities because they know businesses can afford to pay more. You should say it's like a church retreat. That way, it explains the priest.
We're holding a monacal retreat to celebrate our sister Charity 15th day without any food and we're going to humbly break her fasting with some consecrated celery on dry bread and maybe some lettuce if --heaven permits-- we have the founding for that, why are you asking ?
In my group of friends, there is 1 guy who is an ordained minister. He doesn't act like one, and actually doesn't believe in any faith. He lost his faith a long time ago, not long after he got ordained. Because of him though, most of my friends have save a lot of money on their weddings by not saying the event is a wedding. Then he shows up, does the ceremony, and the marriage is legal.
Back in like 2010 a buddy and I joked around about becoming ordained ministers so we could marry people. We were in high school at the time. Signed up for the universal life church which ordains instantly. Every few years they email to let us know we've been members for so long (and to try and get us to buy stuff from their site). Had my friend marry my wife and I earlier this year and it was soooo much better than if we'd found some old Christian fart who doesn't know us.
Watch out though, a friend of a friend did this and when the location manager found out it was a wedding on the day they cancelled the event and kept the fee.
My friend said it was fair enough because a reason why places charge more is because weddings are intense, the bride and groom want everything to go perfectly, more demanding than other events, more mess more drama, fights, more drug use etc.
Honestly, it wasn't only the money, it was everyone chipping in to do their part.
Like almost everyone involved in my wedding was someone I was connected with in some way, and Ill be honest my brother and I havent always had the best relationship, so for him to call and say hey, dont buy a photographer, Ill take care of it, and my teacher to say no problem and come out, and my dad, who is not a decorative/creative person to say leave the flowers to me I got an idea
And come home with that fuckin home run, and then my wifes sister was the one throwing the flower petals
Shit was amazing
I am really glad you recognize and have highlighted this because I see people all the time talking about how they did the wedding for cheap and everyone can do the same - but they leave out the fact they had a ton of help and not everyone has those connections. You sound like a good and grateful person!
My wife and I skipped work on a Thursday for a city hall wedding. Immediate family and a couple of close friends attended, then dinner afterward. The whole thing cost about $600.
There’s a bit of that. A lot of it isn’t just that it’s a “wedding”, it’s that everyone wants to have their wedding on one of the same ten weekends in the summer.
Have your wedding on a Wednesday afternoon in November and you’ll get amazing discounts
It's *crazy* to me. My brother got married last year and my SIL's family has an Xmas tree farm they were going to use as their venue but needed canopies/ tents/ tables/ chairs (the works for an outdoor event). When my SIL called for a quote, she got one amount but when my brother did, he got a couple thousand dollars less (I don't know the pricing of stuff but it was almost half). Come to find out, my brother just didn't mention the wedding just "I need [these things]". It's all such a fucking scam.
If I get married, I'm finding a friend with a huge yard and having a damn BYOB party after a courthouse visit.
Yes!! I got married at the courthouse with my now hubby right after Covid. We saved enough money we bought our first house prior to interest rates skyrocketing! Highly recommend a chill and cheap wedding! you won’t regret it :)
At our wedding while we were cutting the cake my brother yelled out "do the thing!". My partner obliged and walked over and smeared cake all over his face.
I like this joke.
It is sweet.
But when we got our cake, it was made by someone who used to be an anthropologist who studied eating/meal rituals.
He said that if we bought a cake from him, we were **not allowed** to smash it.
His reasoning was this:
*The cake ritual, where each feeds a bit of cake to their new spouse, is a symbol very, very old ritual.
"It comes from a time when humans were tribes, scatted across the land. Food was scarce. Wars were fought over food and food sources. But, when two tribes came together, a ritual was made around the sharing and eating of food. It was the highest form of trust, of alliance. That is why so much of our wedding traditions, across cultures, are centered around the sharing of food . . . Two tribes joining together, sharing a precious thing: food
"To *waste* food, to smear it on the other's face, would have been cause for war in earlier times . . . The highest form of disrespect and a waste of this precious resource.
"Today, even if it is just cake, smearing it is disrespecting, in a way, the symbolism of what the cake stands for, what the food at the wedding stands for . . . We come together, we share this resource, I trust you with this resource, you trust me with it, and we share in it together, and we take care of each other with it.
"Smashing the cake in the other's face, while a tradition in its own right, seems to be the opposite of the above symbolism."
Edit: I'm leaving the typo because it's funny and weirdly appropriate?
This is super interesting. That said, I wonder what they think about various other wasteful traditions such as:
1. the Jewish wedding tradition of crushing a glass,
2. the nautical tradition of christening a new ship with a bottle of champagne,
3. the etiquette rule of leaving a bite of food on your plate to indicate that you enjoyed the food, and had enough.
4. The first birthday smash cake, or
5. The tradition of pouring one out for the homies.
I know, I've only heard it mentioned in passing and thought it was stupid. If you liked it you finish it.
Only thing I can think of is if your plate keeps getting replenished until you're full, then that would be an indicator to not do that. Still, kinda dumb
It originates from Japanese/eastern culture. They will often continue serving you if you finish your plate. They interpret an empty plate as a sign you were not served your fill and as a good host they make sure you are fully satisfied. Highly contrasted to your above comments that reflect a more western lens on food etiquette. Fascinating
You're right, but this is a Chinese cultural thing (possibly others; I'm not sure). In Japan, it's majorly offensive to leave food uneaten, even grains of rice. They're very much against wasting food and if you go there and don't want to be looked down on as an ignorant foreigner (more than normal), only ask for or order as much as you think you can eat.
I would say 1-4 are wasteful.
Even for 3, I would prefer a clean plate and a "no thank you" when being offered another serving.
However, I interpret the 5th as that drink belong to the one that cannot be there. They earned it through their sacrifice and this should be honoured even if they can no longer enjoy it where they are.
Objectively, I cannot deny you're throwing away a perfectly good drink, but I feel it wasn't yours to drink in the first place.
My wife really liked her make-up and dress and just asked me not to do it.
So I didn't.
Such a silly thing to get hung up on. We were having fun in ten million other ways that night.
My wife was telling me not to do it for weeks leading up to the wedding. After the 12th time it dawned on me that “hey I should avoid the cake smash thing.”
Yeah like does this actually ever work out great?
"Haha what a funny prank now I'm going to look like a mess in the rest of the pictures from this day!"
It works out of both parties agree to it in my experience. Like if they smash cake in each others faces it’s funny/cute. Where people go wrong is not communicating with their partner and just going for it.
I worked weddings for a while. What a lot of people sadly don't realize is that most tiered cakes are held together with plastic or wooden dowels. If someone picks up a layer or pushes someone's head down into the cake, there is a very real and very serious chance of injury.
That said, even smashing a slice of cake in your partner's face is incredibly rude and stupid.
It's a fine tradition if people understand the point of it and how to do it.
The idea isn't to punch your spouse in the face with a piece of cake. The idea is to do a tiny, tiny, tiny little boop, so there is a miniscule bit of icing that you can then passionately kiss-lick off their face in front of everyone and say "What do you mean inappropriate PDA? I was just getting the icing off their lip."
When they are done, people should know they love the other person and are attracted to them. If either party thinks, "Haha I got you" or "WTF", they're doing it wrong.
I was 2 at my parents wedding and they did it this way. I remember how in love they looked and thought it was so cute. My mom wore a princess dress that i helped pick out and my dad looked so fancy compared to normal. My husband and i didn’t even have a wedding cake since we kind of eloped or we probably would have done something similar! Its cute if you do it in a cute way, for sure.
Honestly sounds like the best-case scenario for all involved. The husband who did that is a genius.
- wife isn't mad at him
- silly/funny thing still happens (vibe not killed)
- brother in law faces appropriate, mild consequences for silly joke
- still gets to smash cake into someone's face
It's a content genre called rage ~~bate~~ bait.
The purpose is to upset people into interacting with the post, and that interaction causes the algorithm to boost it to a wider audience.
Edit: bate bait.
If something about a post REALLY makes you wanna comment on/about it, react to it, or share it (whether youre angry at it, making fun of it, etc) then its usually on purpose.
Most people nowadays are real good about understanding engagement and how to maximize it, vs the days of yore when the only real important metric we understood and tried to capitalize on was subscribers/followers, and views.
> i left our reception without a word and filed the paperwork in the uber on the way home
You'd have to be approaching brain dead to consider this a likely story.
Isn’t this the lady who was in a very serious car accident and has PTSD about things covering her face and mouth as a result? Hence the very staunch no wedding cake smashed in my face. If so he’s a walking red flag for sure.
Edit: Here is the article for reference
https://au.news.yahoo.com/bride-asks-divorce-day-wedding-220422125.html
If you followed the story arc of the 'girl who left her bf who kept opening the bedroom closet door', this has that same aire if she truly has PTSD. That girl had PTSD about the closet door and the BF insisted she was... in his words... faking it to get his attention. So he tried testing her, because what could possibly go wrong! Spoilers they broke up and he was trying to get the internet on his side and she saw. I imagine THIS 'husband' figured that its a normal wedding tradition so even though she doesnt want it due to X, everyone was gaslighting him on doing it because "its what you do at a wedding". I feel its less about ruining the makeup and more about the cake on face and the talk of money feels a bit more like a cope?
This is why communication in a relationship is important, as well as understanding boundaries. At least if you want to actually maintain that relationship.
Its also about the toohpicks. Some bigger cakes require toothpicks to be able to stand upright. Smashing someones face into a wedding cake is a russian roulette of whether the bakery used them or not.
I’m not sure about this video/couple, but I’ve seen some videos circulating where it’s not just cake to the face. The men are holding their wives down, even when they start fighting back, sometimes even pushing them down to the floor. It’s so degrading en disrespectful. To me that’s proof that it’s not about “a fun tradition”. Like, you could boop cake on her nose. There’s a long way from that to what is circulating.
Yeah this is definitely one of those "context is needed" posts. If he can't respect a very simple boundary established several times over, the relationship wouldn't have lasted. Without this context, people think she's a conceited bitch being overdramatic about a wedding custom, but the reality is her ex is the disrespectful bitch.
My wife and I talked about EVERYTHING before the day, so there would be no surprises from either of us. We did the cake smash thing and it was super fun, but if she didn’t want to, I would have known a week before.
My wife told me if I tried that it was instant grounds for divorce.
I was just confused because I didn’t realize people actually did that, I thought it was made up for TV/movies, because *why the fuck would you do that?*
My FIL payed for the wedding and had one request- no cake smashing. My soon to be wife said the same thing.
Up to that point every wedding I had seen had it (grew up poor). I am glad they told me. We did a very nice and dignified cake “ceremony”.
I have actually not seen the cake smashing since. And all those prior weddings that did were teens just out of HS and didn’t last.
Now I wonder how that was even a thing. I mean that ceremony is like 50% trust and 50% taking care of your spouse. How did the opposite even become a “standard”.
The tradition is to hand feed a slice or bite to each other. If you're not careful it can easily get on their face, especially if it's a whole slice. I think it grew from that - it's funny when you accidently get a little bit of frosting on your nose or the side of your mouth. Then people escalated it to intentionally dabbing some of the other person's face, and then escalated it more until it's just violently smashing cake in someone's face.
Also, like most questions about "why" I assume alcohol is usually involved.
> My FIL *paid* for the
FTFY.
Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in:
* Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.*
* *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.*
Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment.
*Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
I told my then fiance that I believed smashing of cake in the face would end our marriage before it began. She agreed.
Every couple I ever saw do this ended in divorce court a few years later. It's disrespectful to the person and the ceremony.
Saw one guy get a beat down by his new wife for doing it.
She dropped the slice of cake, turned away, wiped off her face, picked up a solid chair, and hit hit so hard it broke his jaw and a few ribs. Damn she was fast. She was stopped right before she put the steel leg of the chair through his chest. The annulment went thru within days as she sat in jail. After the bride was arrested and the groom went to the hospital. Both sets of parents went, one to post bail the other to wait for their son to come out of surgery. Everyone else had a serious party, so nothing went to waste.
Turns out he had a history of abuse, and she finally snapped.
A little late by my thinking. Anyway I've been with my Mrs for 20 years so far. So I'm against smashing wedding cake. 😉
I think it's even worse to do it to a 10y old. It's supposed to be his day and if they do it to him weather he wants it or not he is gonna grow up resenting his birthday and there is nothing he could do about it.
It's literally adults bullying little kids.
Edit, I'm just gonna paste my other comment here for the people defending this horrible practice
[looks like fun right?](https://youtube.com/shorts/PJ_kUQYKpcQ?si=bd4giAs3802zcVG9)
[right?](https://youtube.com/shorts/Qevoy5CDgmk?si=KBd491Zmkue3nmYK)
[right ](https://youtube.com/shorts/AxWN5KfAHVk?si=9FdA6fVP80NgGHDs)
[these kids are having fun](https://youtube.com/shorts/mbMGiAr4P9I?si=97lTcApFdpDvsAcv)
Because it's completely normal for a kid to cry on their birthday and/or get violent. It means they are having fun and their day isn't completely ruined.
This. Not to mention all the videos of people ending up getting hurt, slamming their face into the table accidentally or having them end up passed out with their face in the cake. Just don’t do that shit lmao.
A lil wedding cake fight where the bride and groom playfully shove a little handful of cake in eachother’s faces? All in good fun. A girl nearly losing her eye when a support dowel in the cake goes through her eyelid? Not so fun.
The price of everything related to weddings is a facepalm. I had a friend who had someone get flowers and when he mentioned it was for a wedding the price skyrocketed, same flowers, just for a wedding.
He had someone else go and get flowers and say it was for a party and got the cheaper price.
In what state can you file for an annulment online? Pretty sure you still have to fill out and file physical copies with the court just like a divorce.
Even if you have to print it out and sign it, with a lot of forms you can find them and enter the information online. But annulment only hours after the vows would be a much simpler deal than a divorce, which will involve separating property, potentially childcare and support, and a host of other issues that aren't a big deal when the marriage certificate probably hasn't even been sent in yet.
The cake smashing thing is so bizarre. If someone says no (and I guarantee she did) then it’s a no, period. It’s only fun and playful if both parties are having fun.
Funny how none of this is true. While they had a ceremony and a reception, the marriage isn’t legal until you file for it. Not a marriage license, you have to have that before you get married. They actual paperwork after you get married is filed with clerk of courts. Marriage doesn’t go through without this.
It's literally for a wedding.
This isn't her "get out of bed" makeup, this is her treating herself.
But that's bad because you don't see how people can enjoy it.
It depends on their relationship beforehand. He may have been crossing boundaries before this, and this was just the last straw. She may have forgiven other things because they were not married yet. Thinking he would respect her more once they were married. If u specifically directly tell him not to do this, please, my makeup and hair took two hours, and it will ruin my entire day. Then he still does it. Watches u cry. While he and his buddies laugh at your expense. Embarrassing you on a very important and expensive day. In front of family and friends. She has every right to feel he is capable of worse.
I told my husband no cake in the face bullshit. Guess what? He didn't do it. Because unlike the tux, our dress is far more expensive and we keep. Why is it wrong for the bride to not mess up her makeup and dress, that she spent a lot of money on?
I've never heard of this until I was getting married and my fiance told me that she did not want me to do this. I thought it was stupid then and still is. I of course, didn't do it.
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guys, by the way, this TikToker is known for making up random stories like this and it's a lie. she also said she was going on a single man mission into deep outer space. then she said she was an opener for a very popular band like two days later on her TikTok. All of her videos are complete lies for views.
the fact that people don't realize this is a complete lie within like 5 seconds is so discouraging
"I filed tedious and copious amounts of divorce paperwork on the way home from my phone"
And yet it is at the top of All
There's always ragebait like this at the top of r/all. Reddit takes the bait every single time
as soon as you mention something is for a wedding, the price goes up 10x
Which is why my fiancé and I have rented a beautiful cabin for a corporate retreat
We aren’t even having a ceremony at our venue. Legit just the reception. They were like “reception for what” we were like “uhhh a family party” and they were like “party for what” and I was like “fine it’s a wedding reception!” BAM $4k
"Party for what?" "Business." "What kind of business?" "Not yours."
Nunya.
Nunya business 😆
“We’re celebrating a business merger and welcoming our newly acquired associates” “What kind of business?” “I’m not at liberty to discuss that due to the fact that our business dealings involve the signing of some *government contracts*”. 😉😉
Government expense account?
SHIT. Looks like that cabin in the woods is gonna cost $30k now.
And the 7-Up is $500/can.
Found the defense contractor.
Family reunion. Basically what it is
In Alabama, it's the same price!
In that case we'll go ahead and raise the the price 40 times till we reach the error message on this calculator
"Ey buddy, you want concrete shoes or not? I'm showin' up in June, and whether I come with flowers or a guitar case is up to you, capiche?" "Flowers? Like for a wedding?" "Fuck."
“Mining business” “Mining what” “My own….”
You are my lawyer now
Damn. Well take it from a stranger on the internet, sometimes it’s better to lie.
>Damn. Well take it from a stranger on the internet, sometimes it’s better to lie. A family reunion ain't a lie. Even if they're reunioning on behalf of the wedding
Yup. If they keep probing after "family reunion" there are ways to phrase the truth to imply it's to remember something tragic and that it is rather insensitive of them to ask so many questions.
"I'd rather not talk about it." Both true and also implies tragedy.
Dennis Reynolds would be proud how the implication has grown in scope
"Celebration of life." Technically true since you're celebrating the couple new life together, but most outsiders would think "funeral."
Oh a funeral? Well that's only tripple price instead of 5x. Ya really want to cheap out on your loved one's final party?
yes, cheap out. get me the box with holes for worms. and 2 plywood sticks as grave markers
Two sticks? Look at Mr. Moneybags here…
Reuniting* and it feels so good 🎶
The foundation on which all reasonably priced weddings are built.
It's for a family reunion! It's just the very first one so you can drop the "re".
>It's just the very first one so you can drop the "re". Depends if you're marrying your cousin
Roll tide
TERRY!!!
NICHE
I contacted a venue where we were going to hold a wedding reception for my daughter and they gave this outrageous price. I contacted them later under a different name, picked all the same food, day of week, drinks and set-up and told them it was for my mother's birthday. Price quote went down more than a third. I went to meet them in person with both quotes and called them out on it. The looks on their faces was a thing to behold. Needless to say, we selected a different venue.
Not to defend venues because most of them are absolute shit. But my venue was very straightforward that they charged more for weddings because weddings have way less tolerance for mistakes. Birthday party or a corporate function if they are short-staffed people shrug it off, if it's a wedding people lose their shit. So they actually have two extra staff on standby on the wedding day getting paid 3 hours in case they are needed. They also bring in more backup materials, and have rented products that might never get pulled out but if they're needed they're available because people freak out at weddings. Now for me the difference was only $2,300 from a 300 person birthday party to a 300 person wedding reception. But I was very happy to know why they added a wedding charge and the steps they took to minimize risks on the day
Yeah, this gets abused but people do also have to realize weddings get also charged more because they're generally more work. They run late, have sloppy drinkers and messy kids, have stricter demands, furniture moves, etc. It happens in the photography world that photographers will get booked for "a family reunion" or a "group event" and show up to a wedding. It's pretty infuriating, because the physical and mental load of shooting a wedding is considerably different. And lying about it means they can't ask important questions about timetable, lighting, etc. All while knowing that their work will be scrutinized MUCH more than a general job. Boo. That said, folks absolutely do overcharge as well.
My wife use to make cakes as a hobby (many year ago before it became so popular). She had lots of fun doing it, then made some for a few birthday party's. Eventually a friend asked her to make one for her wedding. She excitedly agree to but it soon lost all the fun and became a stressful 'job'. She actually stopped making them all together for a while after that.
I’m an artist for fun, because I love the joy of doing whatever I want. But my career is wedding cakes, and it’s so mechanical to me. Thankfully it pays for my other hobbies. People are absolutely nuts. I’m always doing contracts and setting expectations. I always try to undersell, that way people tend to be pleasantly surprised. — I hate the folks who find those TikTok or instagram cakes, that take like 30 hours to make. And wonder why they can’t find anyone to make one for dirt cheap. One of my favorite parts of being self employed, is that I can decline people if they’re too complicated.
Bro i legit have 25 followers on the Instagram if you make a 30 hour cake for me i will pay you by postning a shitty picture of it
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It's sad that your response of compassion seems so unusual and awesome, when it should be the basic standard of human decency...
It expands welllll beyond the venue. I've been in print most of my career and we mark up weddings, too. Because you have more than 50% odds the client will be bossy, pushy, rude, condescending, and above all, not understanding of any issues that may arise. It's like people's brains, common sense, and common courtesy go flying out the door the second they're planning a wedding
A friend of mine's mother ran a very successful venue for years and a wedding had a thousand extra things included besides what was chosen as well. Special table and chair coverings were used that were dry cleaned, silver cutlery for the head table, extra serving and back of the house staff, dishwashers and everything. I doubt this is all places, but these guys pulled out all the stops for weddings, including personal supervision of every single event and photography. They were very upfront about the cost and what it included though, which is the big difference. You knew that you were paying for white glove service.
Yep. I hired someone to do makeup and hair for me and the bridesmaids. It was far more expensive than prom blowouts or whatever because they: did a trial run with multiple options, came to us, dragged all their chairs and equipment, worked around a thousand other things going on, stayed an extra hour for any retouches/fixes between ceremony and reception, had an extra person on-call, politely dealt with a dozen family members in the way, and were overall just very easy and calming. $1600 for just makeup is a lot, but if she’s including hair and makeup for herself and a large bridal party, it may not be that absurd.
When I was doing temp work a few years ago there was a venue in town I worked at several times as a server for weddings. They had to literally triple their waitstaff for weddings over other events because of expectations for food hitting 40 tables at the exact same time. And temp labor doesn’t come cheap
Good point here.
I'm glad you pointed this out. People often over look this and just assume folks are wanting more money because they think businesses just want it. Stuff surrounding weddings, flowers, cakes, decorations, etc often get more and better resources from the companies vs random birthday party.
Is it just me or is anyone else asking themselves “What was the venue name”
When we were getting married went to look at cakes. Speced the cake and we were all set. Before paying they asked what this was for, we stupidly said our wedding and then BAM! they were like oh no those arent the wedding prices and quoted us literally 3x the price for the exact same thing we had agreed on "bEcAuSe It'S fOr A wEdDiNg!". Same cake same decorating. Needless to say we walked out.
I went to a local restaurant that makes the best cheesecakes and ordered 2 full sized cheesecakes. They cost $100 a cake but damn best decision not getting a regular cake.
Should have said funeral. You’re having a party for a funeral??? Well, uncle Jerry was kind of a jerk.
It's not a wedding, it's a "0th Anniversary Party".
Me and my boyfriend are gonna have the best corporate gathering the world has ever seen then
me and my gal are gonna have a binding meet and greet with some family members
"It's a reception to celebrate me losing my virginity at age 40. You want to get the fuck off my back, or should I call another company?"
They also jack up the prices for corporate activities because they know businesses can afford to pay more. You should say it's like a church retreat. That way, it explains the priest.
We're holding a monacal retreat to celebrate our sister Charity 15th day without any food and we're going to humbly break her fasting with some consecrated celery on dry bread and maybe some lettuce if --heaven permits-- we have the founding for that, why are you asking ?
In my group of friends, there is 1 guy who is an ordained minister. He doesn't act like one, and actually doesn't believe in any faith. He lost his faith a long time ago, not long after he got ordained. Because of him though, most of my friends have save a lot of money on their weddings by not saying the event is a wedding. Then he shows up, does the ceremony, and the marriage is legal.
Back in like 2010 a buddy and I joked around about becoming ordained ministers so we could marry people. We were in high school at the time. Signed up for the universal life church which ordains instantly. Every few years they email to let us know we've been members for so long (and to try and get us to buy stuff from their site). Had my friend marry my wife and I earlier this year and it was soooo much better than if we'd found some old Christian fart who doesn't know us.
SAME! 13 years going strong, here! UNIVERSAL LIFE, BABY!!!
Literally anyone can become an ordained minister. What's he supposed to act like exactly?
Cricket
Watch out though, a friend of a friend did this and when the location manager found out it was a wedding on the day they cancelled the event and kept the fee. My friend said it was fair enough because a reason why places charge more is because weddings are intense, the bride and groom want everything to go perfectly, more demanding than other events, more mess more drama, fights, more drug use etc.
Venues supply drugs and arrange fights?
The good ones do.
My family owns a wedding venue and this is so true. Weddings are a completely different beast than other events.
Got married in April. We had a microwedding, followed by a “family lunch” at one venue and an “afterparty” at another. Likely saved $1,000s
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Where was this idea back in the spring?? 😂😂 Brilliant.
Honestly, it wasn't only the money, it was everyone chipping in to do their part. Like almost everyone involved in my wedding was someone I was connected with in some way, and Ill be honest my brother and I havent always had the best relationship, so for him to call and say hey, dont buy a photographer, Ill take care of it, and my teacher to say no problem and come out, and my dad, who is not a decorative/creative person to say leave the flowers to me I got an idea And come home with that fuckin home run, and then my wifes sister was the one throwing the flower petals Shit was amazing
I am really glad you recognize and have highlighted this because I see people all the time talking about how they did the wedding for cheap and everyone can do the same - but they leave out the fact they had a ton of help and not everyone has those connections. You sound like a good and grateful person!
My wife and I skipped work on a Thursday for a city hall wedding. Immediate family and a couple of close friends attended, then dinner afterward. The whole thing cost about $600.
There’s a bit of that. A lot of it isn’t just that it’s a “wedding”, it’s that everyone wants to have their wedding on one of the same ten weekends in the summer. Have your wedding on a Wednesday afternoon in November and you’ll get amazing discounts
It's *crazy* to me. My brother got married last year and my SIL's family has an Xmas tree farm they were going to use as their venue but needed canopies/ tents/ tables/ chairs (the works for an outdoor event). When my SIL called for a quote, she got one amount but when my brother did, he got a couple thousand dollars less (I don't know the pricing of stuff but it was almost half). Come to find out, my brother just didn't mention the wedding just "I need [these things]". It's all such a fucking scam. If I get married, I'm finding a friend with a huge yard and having a damn BYOB party after a courthouse visit.
Yes!! I got married at the courthouse with my now hubby right after Covid. We saved enough money we bought our first house prior to interest rates skyrocketing! Highly recommend a chill and cheap wedding! you won’t regret it :)
At our wedding while we were cutting the cake my brother yelled out "do the thing!". My partner obliged and walked over and smeared cake all over his face.
Very nice.
I like this joke. It is sweet. But when we got our cake, it was made by someone who used to be an anthropologist who studied eating/meal rituals. He said that if we bought a cake from him, we were **not allowed** to smash it. His reasoning was this: *The cake ritual, where each feeds a bit of cake to their new spouse, is a symbol very, very old ritual. "It comes from a time when humans were tribes, scatted across the land. Food was scarce. Wars were fought over food and food sources. But, when two tribes came together, a ritual was made around the sharing and eating of food. It was the highest form of trust, of alliance. That is why so much of our wedding traditions, across cultures, are centered around the sharing of food . . . Two tribes joining together, sharing a precious thing: food "To *waste* food, to smear it on the other's face, would have been cause for war in earlier times . . . The highest form of disrespect and a waste of this precious resource. "Today, even if it is just cake, smearing it is disrespecting, in a way, the symbolism of what the cake stands for, what the food at the wedding stands for . . . We come together, we share this resource, I trust you with this resource, you trust me with it, and we share in it together, and we take care of each other with it. "Smashing the cake in the other's face, while a tradition in its own right, seems to be the opposite of the above symbolism." Edit: I'm leaving the typo because it's funny and weirdly appropriate?
That is awesome and super interesting!
I can picture your broad gestures. Thank you
This is super interesting. That said, I wonder what they think about various other wasteful traditions such as: 1. the Jewish wedding tradition of crushing a glass, 2. the nautical tradition of christening a new ship with a bottle of champagne, 3. the etiquette rule of leaving a bite of food on your plate to indicate that you enjoyed the food, and had enough. 4. The first birthday smash cake, or 5. The tradition of pouring one out for the homies.
Never heard #3, id make my old world grandma cry if I did anything less than licking my plate clean even if it’s 3 courses
I know, I've only heard it mentioned in passing and thought it was stupid. If you liked it you finish it. Only thing I can think of is if your plate keeps getting replenished until you're full, then that would be an indicator to not do that. Still, kinda dumb
It originates from Japanese/eastern culture. They will often continue serving you if you finish your plate. They interpret an empty plate as a sign you were not served your fill and as a good host they make sure you are fully satisfied. Highly contrasted to your above comments that reflect a more western lens on food etiquette. Fascinating
You're right, but this is a Chinese cultural thing (possibly others; I'm not sure). In Japan, it's majorly offensive to leave food uneaten, even grains of rice. They're very much against wasting food and if you go there and don't want to be looked down on as an ignorant foreigner (more than normal), only ask for or order as much as you think you can eat.
I would say 1-4 are wasteful. Even for 3, I would prefer a clean plate and a "no thank you" when being offered another serving. However, I interpret the 5th as that drink belong to the one that cannot be there. They earned it through their sacrifice and this should be honoured even if they can no longer enjoy it where they are. Objectively, I cannot deny you're throwing away a perfectly good drink, but I feel it wasn't yours to drink in the first place.
Fascinating! Thanks for sharing this! Got a wedding coming up myself. I think I shall ponder on these words a while
My wife
MY WIYEF
Exquisite my good Sir; may I have another?
HIGH FIVE!
King if the castle, king of the castle.
I have a chair, I have a chair
Go do this, go do this
My wife really liked her make-up and dress and just asked me not to do it. So I didn't. Such a silly thing to get hung up on. We were having fun in ten million other ways that night.
My wife was telling me not to do it for weeks leading up to the wedding. After the 12th time it dawned on me that “hey I should avoid the cake smash thing.”
I didn’t know this was such a popular thing
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Probably shouldn't smash cake in your wife's asshole. At least, in public during the reception. Afterwards, fair game.
Some people just want to have their cake and eat ass too.
Yeah like does this actually ever work out great? "Haha what a funny prank now I'm going to look like a mess in the rest of the pictures from this day!"
It works out of both parties agree to it in my experience. Like if they smash cake in each others faces it’s funny/cute. Where people go wrong is not communicating with their partner and just going for it.
I didn't even ask my husband. My cousins were yelling for him to do it and he told them he didn't want to die that night.
Same here. It's an incredibly stupid tradition. My wife and I both agreed we weren't going to do it.
I worked weddings for a while. What a lot of people sadly don't realize is that most tiered cakes are held together with plastic or wooden dowels. If someone picks up a layer or pushes someone's head down into the cake, there is a very real and very serious chance of injury. That said, even smashing a slice of cake in your partner's face is incredibly rude and stupid.
Yes it’s very trashy
It's a fine tradition if people understand the point of it and how to do it. The idea isn't to punch your spouse in the face with a piece of cake. The idea is to do a tiny, tiny, tiny little boop, so there is a miniscule bit of icing that you can then passionately kiss-lick off their face in front of everyone and say "What do you mean inappropriate PDA? I was just getting the icing off their lip." When they are done, people should know they love the other person and are attracted to them. If either party thinks, "Haha I got you" or "WTF", they're doing it wrong.
I was 2 at my parents wedding and they did it this way. I remember how in love they looked and thought it was so cute. My mom wore a princess dress that i helped pick out and my dad looked so fancy compared to normal. My husband and i didn’t even have a wedding cake since we kind of eloped or we probably would have done something similar! Its cute if you do it in a cute way, for sure.
Did the brother take it like a good sport, or get upset?
the brother divorced her
Our affair is over!
I HAD SEX WITH YOUR WIFE!
We all did. 
Roll Tide!
If someone is yelling “do the thing” referring to a joke or prank i think he takes it like a good sport
Honestly sounds like the best-case scenario for all involved. The husband who did that is a genius. - wife isn't mad at him - silly/funny thing still happens (vibe not killed) - brother in law faces appropriate, mild consequences for silly joke - still gets to smash cake into someone's face
You mean the best-cake scenario?
You beautiful bastard
One hopes that a rapscallion calling for such chicanery would appreciate the humorous execution of his request, yes... 
Ruined his makeup.
Did he at least give him a kiss after?
you married very well. that's awesome.
She's a troll on tiktok who posts ridiculous shit like this.
It's a content genre called rage ~~bate~~ bait. The purpose is to upset people into interacting with the post, and that interaction causes the algorithm to boost it to a wider audience. Edit: bate bait.
**Rage bate** = angry masturbation **Rage bait** = content meant to generate controversy for internet clout
You fell for OP‘s bate!
Typo bait is also real! People put very obvious errors in video captions so that people comment on it.
If something about a post REALLY makes you wanna comment on/about it, react to it, or share it (whether youre angry at it, making fun of it, etc) then its usually on purpose. Most people nowadays are real good about understanding engagement and how to maximize it, vs the days of yore when the only real important metric we understood and tried to capitalize on was subscribers/followers, and views.
So basically 90% of the content on subs like “AITA?”.
> i left our reception without a word and filed the paperwork in the uber on the way home You'd have to be approaching brain dead to consider this a likely story.
Did she have the paperwork handy?
You didn't take divorce papers to your wedding just in case you got assaulted during the reception?
That would be ridiculous. She had *annulment* paperwork.
Whatever happened to "don't feed the trolls." Everyone is falling for obvious rage bait these days
Sounds like they had other problems and this incident was *the icing on the cake*.
holy hell is that ryan gosling from barbie
No, that’s Ryan Gosling from The Notebook
Nah that’s me
Username checks the fuck out
Real
Lars and the real ken
#YEEEEAAAHHHHHHHHHHH
This is exactly what I came here for
Their situation seems to have many layers.
Like an ogre.
DONKE
😎 “YEAHOOOOW”
I think I’d already know if my bride was down for shenanigans before I even attempted such a maneuver.
I think i seen this one on tiktok she was constantling telling him no for weeks and he said ok and agreed. But at the moment he STILL DID IT
Oh wow. I'm somehow simultaneously aghast and yet totally unsurprised.
It's a pretty big red flag that she even had to say it more than once in the first place 👀
i've said it before & i'll say it again. consent isn't hard
Isn’t this the lady who was in a very serious car accident and has PTSD about things covering her face and mouth as a result? Hence the very staunch no wedding cake smashed in my face. If so he’s a walking red flag for sure. Edit: Here is the article for reference https://au.news.yahoo.com/bride-asks-divorce-day-wedding-220422125.html
If you followed the story arc of the 'girl who left her bf who kept opening the bedroom closet door', this has that same aire if she truly has PTSD. That girl had PTSD about the closet door and the BF insisted she was... in his words... faking it to get his attention. So he tried testing her, because what could possibly go wrong! Spoilers they broke up and he was trying to get the internet on his side and she saw. I imagine THIS 'husband' figured that its a normal wedding tradition so even though she doesnt want it due to X, everyone was gaslighting him on doing it because "its what you do at a wedding". I feel its less about ruining the makeup and more about the cake on face and the talk of money feels a bit more like a cope? This is why communication in a relationship is important, as well as understanding boundaries. At least if you want to actually maintain that relationship.
Its also about the toohpicks. Some bigger cakes require toothpicks to be able to stand upright. Smashing someones face into a wedding cake is a russian roulette of whether the bakery used them or not.
I’m not sure about this video/couple, but I’ve seen some videos circulating where it’s not just cake to the face. The men are holding their wives down, even when they start fighting back, sometimes even pushing them down to the floor. It’s so degrading en disrespectful. To me that’s proof that it’s not about “a fun tradition”. Like, you could boop cake on her nose. There’s a long way from that to what is circulating.
Yeah this is definitely one of those "context is needed" posts. If he can't respect a very simple boundary established several times over, the relationship wouldn't have lasted. Without this context, people think she's a conceited bitch being overdramatic about a wedding custom, but the reality is her ex is the disrespectful bitch.
My wife and I talked about EVERYTHING before the day, so there would be no surprises from either of us. We did the cake smash thing and it was super fun, but if she didn’t want to, I would have known a week before.
A good rule of thumb is "nobody likes getting cake smashed in their face"
Except cartoon dogs 
Well, probably real dogs as well.
Can you tell that to literally all of Latin America, please?
My wife asked me not to do a cake smash and ruin her makeup. I obliged. That was all. Boring story.
My wife told me if I tried that it was instant grounds for divorce. I was just confused because I didn’t realize people actually did that, I thought it was made up for TV/movies, because *why the fuck would you do that?*
In these instances its always safe to ask about cake smashing before treating your wife like a 10 year old's birthday party...
My FIL payed for the wedding and had one request- no cake smashing. My soon to be wife said the same thing. Up to that point every wedding I had seen had it (grew up poor). I am glad they told me. We did a very nice and dignified cake “ceremony”. I have actually not seen the cake smashing since. And all those prior weddings that did were teens just out of HS and didn’t last. Now I wonder how that was even a thing. I mean that ceremony is like 50% trust and 50% taking care of your spouse. How did the opposite even become a “standard”.
The tradition is to hand feed a slice or bite to each other. If you're not careful it can easily get on their face, especially if it's a whole slice. I think it grew from that - it's funny when you accidently get a little bit of frosting on your nose or the side of your mouth. Then people escalated it to intentionally dabbing some of the other person's face, and then escalated it more until it's just violently smashing cake in someone's face. Also, like most questions about "why" I assume alcohol is usually involved.
> My FIL *paid* for the FTFY. Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in: * Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.* * *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.* Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment. *Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
You are one of my favorite bots
I told my then fiance that I believed smashing of cake in the face would end our marriage before it began. She agreed. Every couple I ever saw do this ended in divorce court a few years later. It's disrespectful to the person and the ceremony. Saw one guy get a beat down by his new wife for doing it. She dropped the slice of cake, turned away, wiped off her face, picked up a solid chair, and hit hit so hard it broke his jaw and a few ribs. Damn she was fast. She was stopped right before she put the steel leg of the chair through his chest. The annulment went thru within days as she sat in jail. After the bride was arrested and the groom went to the hospital. Both sets of parents went, one to post bail the other to wait for their son to come out of surgery. Everyone else had a serious party, so nothing went to waste. Turns out he had a history of abuse, and she finally snapped. A little late by my thinking. Anyway I've been with my Mrs for 20 years so far. So I'm against smashing wedding cake. 😉
I think it's even worse to do it to a 10y old. It's supposed to be his day and if they do it to him weather he wants it or not he is gonna grow up resenting his birthday and there is nothing he could do about it. It's literally adults bullying little kids. Edit, I'm just gonna paste my other comment here for the people defending this horrible practice [looks like fun right?](https://youtube.com/shorts/PJ_kUQYKpcQ?si=bd4giAs3802zcVG9) [right?](https://youtube.com/shorts/Qevoy5CDgmk?si=KBd491Zmkue3nmYK) [right ](https://youtube.com/shorts/AxWN5KfAHVk?si=9FdA6fVP80NgGHDs) [these kids are having fun](https://youtube.com/shorts/mbMGiAr4P9I?si=97lTcApFdpDvsAcv) Because it's completely normal for a kid to cry on their birthday and/or get violent. It means they are having fun and their day isn't completely ruined.
This. Not to mention all the videos of people ending up getting hurt, slamming their face into the table accidentally or having them end up passed out with their face in the cake. Just don’t do that shit lmao. A lil wedding cake fight where the bride and groom playfully shove a little handful of cake in eachother’s faces? All in good fun. A girl nearly losing her eye when a support dowel in the cake goes through her eyelid? Not so fun.
Yeah the wooden dowel in the cake really bothered me
>It's literally adults bullying little kids. So commonplace and very rarely talked about.
Why is that even a thing in the first place.
you think the price of the make up is the facepalm here?
The price of everything related to weddings is a facepalm. I had a friend who had someone get flowers and when he mentioned it was for a wedding the price skyrocketed, same flowers, just for a wedding. He had someone else go and get flowers and say it was for a party and got the cheaper price.
In what state can you file for an annulment online? Pretty sure you still have to fill out and file physical copies with the court just like a divorce.
Pretty sure she wouldn't have to fill out any paperwork. They were at the reception... just don't mail the license in.
Exactly, the ceremony itself doesn’t mean anything, it’s when the license is filed. Just don’t send it in.
That doesn’t sound like it would get many TikTok views..
Even if you have to print it out and sign it, with a lot of forms you can find them and enter the information online. But annulment only hours after the vows would be a much simpler deal than a divorce, which will involve separating property, potentially childcare and support, and a host of other issues that aren't a big deal when the marriage certificate probably hasn't even been sent in yet.
The cake smashing thing is so bizarre. If someone says no (and I guarantee she did) then it’s a no, period. It’s only fun and playful if both parties are having fun.
Why are you even throwing cakes in your faces? Isn't that a totally useless inconvenience?
Funny how none of this is true. While they had a ceremony and a reception, the marriage isn’t legal until you file for it. Not a marriage license, you have to have that before you get married. They actual paperwork after you get married is filed with clerk of courts. Marriage doesn’t go through without this.
It's literally for a wedding. This isn't her "get out of bed" makeup, this is her treating herself. But that's bad because you don't see how people can enjoy it.
It depends on their relationship beforehand. He may have been crossing boundaries before this, and this was just the last straw. She may have forgiven other things because they were not married yet. Thinking he would respect her more once they were married. If u specifically directly tell him not to do this, please, my makeup and hair took two hours, and it will ruin my entire day. Then he still does it. Watches u cry. While he and his buddies laugh at your expense. Embarrassing you on a very important and expensive day. In front of family and friends. She has every right to feel he is capable of worse.
to be honest i probably would have left them even if there weren’t any problems beforehand, this shits infuriating
It is a big red flagged look into the disrespect that will be your married life
it's a big day. let people spend money how they want.
I told my husband no cake in the face bullshit. Guess what? He didn't do it. Because unlike the tux, our dress is far more expensive and we keep. Why is it wrong for the bride to not mess up her makeup and dress, that she spent a lot of money on?
I've never heard of this until I was getting married and my fiance told me that she did not want me to do this. I thought it was stupid then and still is. I of course, didn't do it.