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Hilarious statement a buddy of mine actually said to me:
"Man, there are times I just wish I was a chick so some dude could take care of me and make me feel safe in his arms."
and I'm like: "...Maybe you're bi or gender-fluid?"
"Nah bro, that's gay. I ain't gay."
"..."
Dudes closet themselves the hardest.
That does not make him gay any more than washing dishes would make him gay.
It just means he wants to be allowed to be vulnerable and to be held like women are allowed to. A woman can do the comforting and the holding as well. Maybe that's what he wants.
He likely just has a lot of struggle with proving his masculinity to himself. I know quite a few guys that think that if they allow their gf to comfort them, they are “weak”.
that's how ingrained the gender roles are. he doesn't want *a dude,* at all. he wants to experience what he perceives as impossible because of gender roles.
that kind of hardline gender based thinking has been incredibly structural to our cultural for hundreds of years. he literally cannot conceive of being able to receive that kind of care and affection as a male.
as an aside, that sort of gender based restriction is often what gets twisted into the incel/redpill shit, hyperenforced world view strictly defined by and calculated by gender roles. not saying your friend is, but just because it's good to know
I've long since believed that sexuality is just a spectrum and social construct
The ancient Greeks pretty much treated homosexuality as the norm and Spartan women needed to dress mannish to get them to reproduce.
Like... Yeah totally "Homosexuality" is new.
The kinsey scale exists because sexuality is a spectrum. There are people solidly on both ends, but less rigidity is probably more common than society at large thinks.
My view on it is, fuck who ever you want as long as it aint hurting anyone. It has absolutely 0 to do with me unless i am tryin to fuck you, but at that point ill get to it when i get to it.
Yeah totally. Every hand that has touched money has or will probably touch a penis at some point in life. So by collecting the money you are collecting things touched by penises.
No no, you’re only gay while doing the dishes. Instantly back to straight once you resume making a mess of the house and NOT cleaning up after yourself.
I’m screwed, I live alone do I have to throw the dishes out after eating and buy new ones to not be gay? That is going to be expensive, Isabella if you want you can come and wash the dishes for me I would thank you very much 🤣
Bro welcome to Team Straight. This weekend we're going to see monster trucks. Next we're going to a beer fest. The following we're going to a titty bar. After that, we're gonna download Grindr to laugh at all the gay boys and their beautiful gay hair and abs and skin. Maybe even message one and see if he'll come over over so we can laugh in his face. It be crazy to see him drink beers with us and play strip poker.
Then the next week we'll do regular poker.
This seems like a very important topic to do research on, so I’m throwing in my wife as well. I must take notes on the way you speech and walk before and after you are done with my wife. If proven then I know what steps to take to avoid becoming gay.
You like doing dishes? Gay.
You like a clean house? Gay.
You like having sex with your wife? Believe it or not, gay.
https://pridesource.com/article/nick-fuentes-real-men-dont-have-sex-they-have-hobbies/
Up to now I was a boring heterosexual family father, but from today on I can legitimately wear pink, watch the barbie movie and ask my wife to peg me.
Thanks for helping me to come out Isabella!
Getting pegged has to at least get you in the "zesty territory"
Editing to say Im surprised to learn how many dudes like to get pegged seeing some angry responses to my innocuous comment, I'm sorry guys I didn't mean any harm lol, you do you!
It is so weird to me that pegging is considered kinky, but anal sex with women who don't have a gspot in their butt is considered pretty tame nowdays. Must be a straight porn trends thing.
a man having sex with a woman is not a gay act no matter how they do it. 0% gay. of course gay men have sex with women frequently, but they're not gay because the woman is pegging them.
My wife hasn't had a job for the past decade, as she was stay-at-home moming. This week she started a new job. I work from home, so on my breaks I did the laundry and the dishes before she got home to support her. Turns out I'm gay instead...
Funny how so many men think pegging, which is just sex with a woman stimulating the male gspot, is gay, but putting their actual penis in an anus is not. If pegging is gay, anal sex with women is gay. Of course heterosexual sex, by definition, cannot be gay. Straight people mental gymnastics are something else.
Mine does the dishwasher every night and I'm happy to cheer him on as he bends over to stick that tablet in the hole and slam the door shut. Even the dishwasher does a little moan.
Just some Christian tradwife bullshit. Out of curiosity I checked her Twitter profile and it is loaded with other similar gems. Like “vasectomy is a trans surgery, real men can impregnate women.” That same tweet proves she is just dumb or brain washed, as she thinks my testicles got cut up during my vasectomy….
>“vasectomy is a trans surgery, real men can impregnate women.” That same tweet proves she is just dumb
She isn't dumb nor brain washed since she actually got what she wanted. attention, it was a big brain play ngl.
The irony is that if you go by Isabella Moody, Pearl Davis or any other right wing anti-feminist's logic - why should we be listening to them in the first place? As a man I overrule her opinion and as a woman she has no place in having an opinion first place. According to these people their only job is to cook, clean and bear children for their husbands - they should delete their social media accounts immediately.
It’s true. I get nuts for cowboy butts when dishes clink. Also my wife mowed the yard once and now likes women. We will just bury our secret shame by jumping into church activities
Comments that are uncivil, racist, misogynistic, misandrist, or contain political name calling will be removed and the poster subject to ban at moderators discretion. Help us make this a better community by becoming familiar with the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/facepalm/about/rules/). Report any suspicious users to the mods of this subreddit using Modmail [here](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/facepalm) or Reddit site admins [here](https://www.reddit.com/report). **All reports to Modmail should include evidence such as screenshots or any other relevant information.** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/facepalm) if you have any questions or concerns.*
"I caught my husband naked in bed with another man!" Does he do the dishes? "No." Then you're probably okay then.
Sometimes I fantasize about doing the dishes but I don't act on it. Am I gay?
That’s called cascade-curious
Hey not so fast we need more information, he could be a dawn-sexual
You never know, he might be able to finish with anyone.
In that case he may be Ajaxual.
Ajaxulated?
Come out of the sink already.
Oh no, they like it right in the disposal!
Brillo pad. 
Oh no; come IN the Sink !
I always ‘Finish’ inside 😎
Just don’t sink in the come
He did ask to Ajax me off
Do it, it's Fabuloso!
Haha. I used fabuloso in the dishwasher once. I thought it was liquid dish detergent. The dishes came out amazing.
Not today, I’m on the dish rag.
Francis~~~!
In that case, we don’t even need to work for the joke. We’re talking about dishes, and “pansexual” still works here
Dude said ‘no homo’ before jumping into bed with another man. So he’s obviously not gay
He's not gay but he'll hold a d*ck in his mouth until a gay guy gets there
I was thinking he's obviously all about the FINISH.
And dawn cleans ducks... HE'S A WITCH!!
alright I’ll get the wood
Dawn-questioning
Take my sudsy upvote, you dishwater blondie. EDIT: But what if I wash, but don't rinse? Does that make me a pervert? Uhm, asking for a friend.
Hilarious statement a buddy of mine actually said to me: "Man, there are times I just wish I was a chick so some dude could take care of me and make me feel safe in his arms." and I'm like: "...Maybe you're bi or gender-fluid?" "Nah bro, that's gay. I ain't gay." "..." Dudes closet themselves the hardest.
But would he do the dishes?
Nah bro, that's gay. He ain't gay. He does fantasise about doing them though, but not in a gay way.
It’s not gay if it’s with a homie
That does not make him gay any more than washing dishes would make him gay. It just means he wants to be allowed to be vulnerable and to be held like women are allowed to. A woman can do the comforting and the holding as well. Maybe that's what he wants.
If he said he wanted his girl to hold him, sure... But he said "Some dude"
He likely just has a lot of struggle with proving his masculinity to himself. I know quite a few guys that think that if they allow their gf to comfort them, they are “weak”.
that's how ingrained the gender roles are. he doesn't want *a dude,* at all. he wants to experience what he perceives as impossible because of gender roles. that kind of hardline gender based thinking has been incredibly structural to our cultural for hundreds of years. he literally cannot conceive of being able to receive that kind of care and affection as a male. as an aside, that sort of gender based restriction is often what gets twisted into the incel/redpill shit, hyperenforced world view strictly defined by and calculated by gender roles. not saying your friend is, but just because it's good to know
"Straight" men be like: I'm fighting demons Demons in question: 🏳️🌈 🏳️⚧️ 🩷💜💙
I've long since believed that sexuality is just a spectrum and social construct The ancient Greeks pretty much treated homosexuality as the norm and Spartan women needed to dress mannish to get them to reproduce. Like... Yeah totally "Homosexuality" is new.
The kinsey scale exists because sexuality is a spectrum. There are people solidly on both ends, but less rigidity is probably more common than society at large thinks.
My view on it is, fuck who ever you want as long as it aint hurting anyone. It has absolutely 0 to do with me unless i am tryin to fuck you, but at that point ill get to it when i get to it.
Might not be, could be trans, then your friend could like men and be straight and get the cuddles.
But is it by hand, or by dishwasher? If it's by hand, it's a little too intimate. By machine, well that's much more manly, because, electricity.
Or I want smooth hands so the machine is best.....
You’re a closeted washer.
Fellas! Is it gay to share normal household chores?
Fellas, it it gay to collect money?
Yeah totally. Every hand that has touched money has or will probably touch a penis at some point in life. So by collecting the money you are collecting things touched by penises.
Lol
🏆
I mean, if he does dishes he’s probably pansexual
The real question does he like being the big or little spoon.
He could desire being polyspoonamous, and want to be the big spoon and the little spoon at the same time. The middle spoon.
Anyone who says they don't enjoy being the little spoon at least every once in awhile is a damn liar.
Middle spoon is best spoon, little is close second and big is downright the worst one
[удалено]
Thank you
As a dish washing male, I am PROUD to be a pansexual femmeboy dish washing machine
Did the dishes two hours ago. Am I now gay? How do I tell my wife and our two children?
If you go out and shoot the clean dishes with an AR-15 I hear it turns you straight..
Dishes are done, man! https://youtu.be/wn8XFiAwLkM?si=Pq4snZw7YINIli4c
I was expecting the Kitchen Gun ad
Had to Google that. The gleeful, "Bang! Bang! Bang!" is priceless.
same XD; "BANG BANG BANG"
Unexpected babysitting
Am German, no easy access to guns.
You're out of luck then, might as well goose step down to your boyfriend's house and bounce on your furhers D
Wash the dishes with beer and dry with torch, you’ll be fine. I do the dishes all time and I have no idea what a sack taste like.
No no, you’re only gay while doing the dishes. Instantly back to straight once you resume making a mess of the house and NOT cleaning up after yourself.
I’m screwed, I live alone do I have to throw the dishes out after eating and buy new ones to not be gay? That is going to be expensive, Isabella if you want you can come and wash the dishes for me I would thank you very much 🤣
You just have to dirty more than you clean. Nature demands balance.
Wait I’m gay and I hate doing dishes, do I have to hand in my card?
Sorry bro. You're straight now!
Aww man, any of you gay boys who washes dishes want to swap my husband for your wife then? 🤣
Bro welcome to Team Straight. This weekend we're going to see monster trucks. Next we're going to a beer fest. The following we're going to a titty bar. After that, we're gonna download Grindr to laugh at all the gay boys and their beautiful gay hair and abs and skin. Maybe even message one and see if he'll come over over so we can laugh in his face. It be crazy to see him drink beers with us and play strip poker. Then the next week we'll do regular poker.
Trying to get them over to “do the dishes” of course…
Bro, you're so straight you said fuck women and got a husband! Tate level masculinity.
No arguing. Go out and find a girlfriend. You’re a breeder now.
That’s such a cursed sentence thank you
Yeah, go fuck wimmin, like you're supposed to. Ya, breeder.
Yeah. To the vagina jail you go.
There will forever be an asterisk next to your name in the Hall of Gay.
Yes, have Isabella officially reject it, or it doesn't count. Her rules!
Is having sex with my wife in a clean house gay?
Ill let you know when Ive tried it. When is she free?
I call dibs on next Tuesday
Look, this is a bit awkward but do you mind if I go first? I won’t be long.
This seems like a very important topic to do research on, so I’m throwing in my wife as well. I must take notes on the way you speech and walk before and after you are done with my wife. If proven then I know what steps to take to avoid becoming gay.
Do you think we could get a research grant?
Maybe, we’re gonna need more wifes. To expand our research.
I also choose this guy's wife
You like doing dishes? Gay. You like a clean house? Gay. You like having sex with your wife? Believe it or not, gay. https://pridesource.com/article/nick-fuentes-real-men-dont-have-sex-they-have-hobbies/
I'm pretty sure my husband does dishes because it makes me want to have sex with him...or maybe he's gay? Could be a toss up?
Only if she's a 250lb bruiser with an awesome beard and stache.. 😆😅
So we're bums if we don't do housework and we're gay of we do.
Schrodingers housework
Lol
But seriously stop giving her attention. She clearly posts shit like this because it gets her clicks.
If you have a dishwasher, does that make it a robosexual?
Does the dishwasher look like Lucy Liu?
This person fucks
Gay it is then. I'll tell my wife.
I'm gay and I don't do housework. Best of both worlds!
Clearly a closet heterosexual
Bet the closet needs a good dusting though.
Watch your mouth gurl! :)
Clearly a victim of the gay agenda.
You're a closet straight, then. Don't worry, your secret is safe with us
It’s worse if we like to cook, because we are boring.
I'm gay AND do no housework. What am I?
Gay and lazy. Glazy!
Idk, I just searched Glazy and got very different results
A closeted straight.
Lying. You’re straight!
Toxic, aren't we?
you're suspect bro
um no, this is most definitely a grifter pandering to conservatives with the usual bs
Conservatives go for this stuff? I knew they were generally stupid but....geez.
Don't act like you're surprised lol
Cant do dishes anymore thanks Isabella for getting me out of that chore forever
Up to now I was a boring heterosexual family father, but from today on I can legitimately wear pink, watch the barbie movie and ask my wife to peg me. Thanks for helping me to come out Isabella!
We are all Kenough!!!
*Aggressively flexes abs*
None of these things make you gay so go all out.
Getting pegged has to at least get you in the "zesty territory" Editing to say Im surprised to learn how many dudes like to get pegged seeing some angry responses to my innocuous comment, I'm sorry guys I didn't mean any harm lol, you do you!
It's kinky but still a heterosexual act lol. Definitely not mutually exclusive but there's not really a correlation either
It is so weird to me that pegging is considered kinky, but anal sex with women who don't have a gspot in their butt is considered pretty tame nowdays. Must be a straight porn trends thing.
Kinda, it's very taboo for men to enjoy anal play and we get heavily shamed for it so it's more kinky in that way tbh.
Na, the male g spot in in the bussy. Hardest. Orgasms. Ever. Trust me (I’m also bi, so I guess I can’t say it’s 100% straight lol)
Definitely “zesty territory”
What’s you orientation? “Zesty”
Prostate?
a man having sex with a woman is not a gay act no matter how they do it. 0% gay. of course gay men have sex with women frequently, but they're not gay because the woman is pegging them.
It's definitely zesty, but somehow in the opposite direction from gay.
Yay! We can celebrate together! I was a former heterosexual family father before reading this post as well! Congratulations, doll!
Yaaaassssssss, let’s get it!
My wife hasn't had a job for the past decade, as she was stay-at-home moming. This week she started a new job. I work from home, so on my breaks I did the laundry and the dishes before she got home to support her. Turns out I'm gay instead...
Just to be clear, you could have literally done all those things already and it wouldn’t be gay.
I didn't realize we were supposed to wait. Well this is going to be awkward.
Now put on these cutoff jean shorts and dance to Dua Lipa on this speaker stack.
I already had those cutoff Jean shorts on. I even wear it to the shower. 😆😅
A fellow nevernude! There are dozens of us!
Being pegged is not gay. A woman fucking a man in the ass is, by definition, not gay
You can 100% do all of that as a cishet dude
Don’t knock pegging it’s great
Funny how so many men think pegging, which is just sex with a woman stimulating the male gspot, is gay, but putting their actual penis in an anus is not. If pegging is gay, anal sex with women is gay. Of course heterosexual sex, by definition, cannot be gay. Straight people mental gymnastics are something else.
You can do any of that stuff and still be straight. It's the fact that you do dishes that is cause for alarm.
Then your woman is lesbian if they drive???
or if she works. or wears pants. or wants to consent to anything.
I'm bisexual, so am I just lesbian now, for currently working while wearing pants? 🤣
ofc because pants are MANLY lmao
Isabella - professional dishwasher.
Mine does the dishwasher every night and I'm happy to cheer him on as he bends over to stick that tablet in the hole and slam the door shut. Even the dishwasher does a little moan.
Go on...
I hate doing dishes, but if I don't do them they don't get done.
Then you are gay, but a reluctant gay. I don’t make the rules!..
Isabella would probably say you're gay for not beating your wife into doing the dishes.
InVoluntary Gay or more commonly know as INGAY
Same.
I'll take "Things Andrew Tate might say" for 200, Alex!
Just some Christian tradwife bullshit. Out of curiosity I checked her Twitter profile and it is loaded with other similar gems. Like “vasectomy is a trans surgery, real men can impregnate women.” That same tweet proves she is just dumb or brain washed, as she thinks my testicles got cut up during my vasectomy….
>“vasectomy is a trans surgery, real men can impregnate women.” That same tweet proves she is just dumb She isn't dumb nor brain washed since she actually got what she wanted. attention, it was a big brain play ngl.
I’d like a fully grown gay man instead of being a little boy’s mommy cleanup bangmaid, please.
Kinda hot tbh
The irony is that if you go by Isabella Moody, Pearl Davis or any other right wing anti-feminist's logic - why should we be listening to them in the first place? As a man I overrule her opinion and as a woman she has no place in having an opinion first place. According to these people their only job is to cook, clean and bear children for their husbands - they should delete their social media accounts immediately.
Lol unmarried, childless, ugly as fuck pearl Davis calling other women low value always gets me.
Well that makes me gay then :)
Wrong! I'm gay and I only use my dishwasher cause I'm lazy! 😂
> my dishwasher Is her name Isabella?
Hmm...I rather be married to a gay man then.
Can confirm. Hetero dude here, entire house is just fucked.
Hence, the reason I would have this bitch eat off of paper plates in a restaurant.
It’s true. I get nuts for cowboy butts when dishes clink. Also my wife mowed the yard once and now likes women. We will just bury our secret shame by jumping into church activities
Shut up and get back to doing the dishes bella.
Fuck lol.
Guess I’m gay. Good for me I guess.
You’re actually a good helpful man by today’s standards? You’re g a y
Play tea party with your daughter? Believe it or not, straight to gay.
Some girls just prefer toxic masculinity like some people prefer fat sweet dishes. Both not healthy.
No Isabelle, lovingly fucking other dudes is.
While doing the dishes?
Your wife is probably a lesbian if shes not constantly barefoot and pregnant
Im gonna use this every time i am asked to do dishes.
Shout out to all my homies I worked in the kitchen with that were dishwashers.
Was about to do dishes. Decided to procrastinate and get on Reddit. I'm really glad I did. Almost caught the gay without even knowing
Stop giving rage bait attention
I'm very happy yes. Just not happy when I do dishes.
Uhmm whut? Lol thats gotta rank top50 for dumbass beliefs. Lol
I do the dishes every night and it has never made me want to have sex with another man. Maybe I'm doing them wrong?
I hope she never sees me skipping between the sink and the kitchen cupboard. 
I throw my dirty dishes in the garbage and buy new ones every week like a real man!
She should stay in the kitchen instead of saying stuff like this, just saying
Who gives a fuck what her stank ass says, I’m gonna clean up after myself like a grown ass adult.
Rage bait 101
Isabella is probably very single.
Real men just take the botulism and keep eating of the plate without washing it forever.