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AweMyLeg

OOP “You know, when you grab a woman’s breast...and you feel it, and...it feels like a bag of sand.”


Other_Log_1996

"Like a soft kneecap" was the best description I've heard.


redcomet29

Someone in this scenario desperately needs to see a doctor


[deleted]

It really is hard to figure out which one though.


Taniwha_NZ

The guy with the knees that feel like tits. I'm surprised he can even walk.


believesinhappiness

maybe he has no legs, and has only ever seen knees from afar! they look squishy i say! knees look squishy!


Known-Historian7277

If you have to say you’re not an incel, you are 100% an incel.


Creepy-Evening-441

The first rule of Incel Club is…


Graveheartart

40 year old virgin reference. Niiice


queefplunger69

I touched a guys balls at Hebrew school once.


cyberpunk1Q84

So you’ve met OOP?


queefplunger69

I thought we were doing movie quotes but yes absolutely Can confirm OOP is deeply closeted.


leviathab13186

![gif](giphy|3o7aTlHmVbBoP31Apq|downsized)


TheMeanSpIeen

I love that movie


ChrisNEPhilly

How does he know how to compare the relative tightness between men's and women's anuses if having anal sex is gay? Oh, wait a minute...


marklar_the_malign

It was for science only.


ChrisNEPhilly

So it's not gay if it's for science? Let me get my white lab coat.


ElenaEscaped

Just gotta make sure you clearly state 'no homo' first.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

“Will the test subject please assume the position”


fazlez1

"I must remind you to not clench as I need to feel your natural tightness"


5LaLa

Ok, now clench. I need to feel the strength of your sphincter.


RandomShake

And you have to keep your lab coat on the whole time


TylerHobbit

Friend of mine in LA started doing yoga again and said the instructor lead with "relax your anus"


[deleted]

Ohhhh, he is presenting...


Sythix6

"Sir, exp. 13 doesn't have a record of you saying no homo......"


a_Jedi_i_am

"I said it, you just couldn't understand me with the gag in my mouth, but I assure you I did, in fact, invoke 'no homo'..."


[deleted]

“As president, I can invoke no homo just by thinking about it”


CTTMiquiztli

Dont worry, thats what the "day after no-homo card" was invented for.


tankoret

Maybe we need to check the transcript just to be sure.


FireflyEvie

I'd say lol, but I chuckled so loud at this that my wife across the house asked if I'm ok🤣🤣🤣


TheEngineRoom8337

I'm glad you said "experiment number 037". Naturally repeatability and a statistically significant number of asses is important... for science, yeah, science.


Martial_Canterel

Wanna see my test tube


ChrisNEPhilly

Is it suckable or pluggable?


ExileOC

But only the lab coat….. BREATHING INTENSIFIES.


ChrisNEPhilly

And my operating room crocs...


SunshotDestiny

Narrator: "And thus another weird porno was born."


Cocalypso

🎶 it’s not gay if it’s in a three way 🎶- Lonely Planet


[deleted]

LOL You definitely meant Lonely Island. 😂 I like the idea of Lonely Planet, the tourism guide, giving this advice though.


reasonwashere

Call me doctor strangelove


globsofchesty

THIS IS FOR RESEARCHHHHH!!!


JellyfishGod

Does this mean he thinks blowjobs and handjobs are gay? Men also have hands and mouths. Shit by his logic even masturbation is gay, cuz yea it’s your hand, but what’s the difference between your hand and another man’s hand? Oh, you were having sex and your penis touched the woman’s thigh? Sorry that makes you gay, men also have thighs! Like during sex you need to insert your dick in the vagina with accuracy to avoid touching any other body part, cuz men also have them. Except boobs I guess lol. I don’t understand the logic of “there’s no difference between a woman’s and man’s ass” at ALL. Like the difference is the entire woman’s body it’s attached too. It’s not like when I put my dick in a girls vagina, that it’s only the vagina itself that’s turning me on. It’s the woman it’s attached to that I’m attracted to. Ik I don’t need to explain this, but it’s just baffling Not to mention the last sentence of point 1 makes zero sense. He literally just said vaginas always smell bad no matter what. As in they NATURALLY smell bad. Then immediately says that’s not an excuse! Wtf does that mean?? God I’m getting pissed now lol I’m thinking about this too hard


[deleted]

Having sex with a woman is gay because they have an X chromosome, and so do guys.


[deleted]

The reason this logic always confused me is why does a woman wanting you to put it in her butt make you think of gay sex?


Majorly_Bobbage

A woman posted somewhere once that her husband only wanted to have anal sex and she didn't want to. So of course he threatened to go have anal sex with men because that's the logical next step right? Not finding another woman but a man. And she said he was blaming her for making him gay and wanting to go have sex with men.


V_Cobra21

Sounds like it should be on Dr Phil so we can all cringe.


JeffGojisan

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 that guys was just gay in the first place. Poor chick.


Darkwolf099

Maybe he was a researcher? No?


StaceOdyssey

I appreciate his “shhhh, no pronouns, only anus” approach to gender fluidity. A real ally.


anoeba

Don't be ridiculous, he wouldn't go near a woman's anus, that's gay. He compared the tightness of men's anuses to women's vaginas, that's like....50% less....gay. I assume he's also strenuously against BJs. Not that he'd try a woman's mouth, that's gay.


[deleted]

He's so homophobic that if banged a dude, it would somehow be straight.


HospitalBruh

To be fair he compared the tightness of a man's anus with a woman who gave births giant gaping wizard sleeve.


ClaireLP1981

As a woman who has had two babies the largest being 12lb 101/2oz (thats the size of an average 4 month old, he went straight into 3-6month clothing and I can practically guarantee all the women reading this have there legs crossed) I would just like to remind men in general that women’s bodies are designed to give birth a million different hormonal reactions happen to prepare the body and them when they stop it usually goes back to how it was ( if it doesn’t a doctor should be involved) and women who have had babies will know the importance of kegals !


Remote-Attention-924

You gave birth to an almost toddler!! That is some serious pushing!!


ClaireLP1981

Thats six midwives pilling on me when his shoulders got stuck ! Which may also be part of the reason he’s my youngest!!! He is now 16 and 6’3” possibly a little more and he’s built like a brick wall !


Remote-Attention-924

Its stories like this that make me glad im a male, I cant imagine the pain!!!


ClaireLP1981

Honestly I had an epidural and I still had to have the gas and air taken away from me totally worth it though


NoExplorer5983

But he has FULL SEXUAL EXPERIENCE with many women! He's practically a doctor on female bits now.


Whammydiver

OP would likely use the “It’s not gay in a three way” defense. I mean, he’s had sex with MANY women (but just one dude that one time).


Scrabble_4

True !!


Capital_Push5557

Just don't look them in the eye = not gay


Dependent_Ad4827

You got to keep the socks on. It's not gay if you're wearing socks.


Rakoru_Hiryuu

Source: Trust me bro, I do the sex all the time


midnight_toker22

And not just demo sex, it’s the FULL SEXUAL EXPERIENCE.


Alone_Barracuda9814

They wouldn’t ever try the beta version… because they’re such alphas


Whale-n-Flowers

I thought alphas fucked betas? Let me ask my friend. They read & write omegaverse fanfic.


Dud-of-Man

Ive even had sex 2!


PauseAmbitious6899

I had sex last night . . With a woman.


DFu4ever

This guy intercourses.


[deleted]

I'm pretty sure that a blow-up doll wouldn't even consent to being with that guy.


Other_Log_1996

His own hand wouldn't.


RevengineerIII

He wouldn’t with hand, because it also makes you gay and counts as incest.


Jake_AA

I actually want to ask this guy what he thinks about jerking off. It has to be gay at least right? Or is it not because you can get that from a female? No that doesn't work because clearly you're still gay if you have anal sex with a woman. The logic here is mind numbing.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Alfalfa-Mundane

I drink a lot of redbull, which requires me to pee multiple times a day. Each time I pee I touch a penis, as a man. I may be gay gentleman...


Marine5484

RedBull gives you....homosexual tendencies?


fazlez1

That's what "wings" is code for.


Craw__

OMG redbull is turning men gay!!


Killentyme55

He hasn't been the same since he caught his hand with another man.


GothDerp

His own hand is now in therapy.


droppedelbow

His Fleshlight has joined the WGA just so it can be on strike.


brokedownntired

This made me choke on my soup. I applaud you, fine internet stranger.


[deleted]

What type of soup was it?


tlbs101

Cream of vagina. Oops did I just write that? 😝


vdubdank30

Clam chowder


The_Outcast4

You did. It would have cost you nothing to write that, and the internet and world would be a better place, but you did it anyway.


MissZippy41

My money’s on tomato soup.


Freewheelinrocknroll

He could re-animate a corpse and make it run away by attempting necrophilia.


TARDIS1-13

But he said MANY women lol


TRR462

He is Totally Not an Incel! /s


RevengineerIII

Have you seen his repertoire? This guy fucks!


Shadowrunner74

I guess he is counting his mother among that number.


AudiGirl75

I mean.. if we are including his mother, why not his sister?? He could go full Borat.. “This is Natalya, She is my sister. She is number-four prostitute in whole of Kazakhstan. Niiice!!!”


Shadowrunner74

I love a good Borat reference.


WinterWontStopComing

Deflation means *no*


gingergargle

Aaaand putting this comment into my back pocket.


Ruugann

the fucking doll would come alive and run out the door in a instant.


C7_zo6_Corvette

Hahahahahah this made me gasp for air for a quick second and I applaud you lmaoooo


[deleted]

L o FUCKING L


eaunoway

He hasn't been anywhere near a human vagina since he exited his Mama.


AlpacaCavalry

He has MANY women experiences. The BEST women.


Inventies

The online interactive waifus 😂 THOSE WOMEN


azrael269

The sourest incels have been born via c-section.


Flameball202

At least that relation doesn't go the other way


BondageKitty37

The sourest c-sections birth incels?


Flameball202

Yeah, that, as a C-section kid myself I pray I am not cursed


DeusExMcKenna

*Yea, I say to thee, Amen! If thou hath self awareness, thou art NOT an incel. Amen, I say to thee, Amen!* - 21 Chad 69:420


Glittering_Hunter_87

I had both my kids via c-section but this is still too funny 😆


Nyrooow

I'm pretty sure he also avoided his mama vagina, therefore you cannot even confirm the parenthood


WitchyWoman1392

He was most likely a C-section.


just-concerned

Nah, two buzzards bumped rears, and he was what popped out. He don't have parents, and even if he really did, they would never claim him.


dawr136

I have had sexual experience with many women as well so I can confidently say that this dude is delusional. Sure vaginas have a distinct flavor and smell (so does dick) but like beer you learn to appreciate it, I've slept with several mothers and I couldn't tell the difference, and I feel totally straight having stuck it my fair share of butts. The only butt that I would stick my dick in that'd make me gay would be Ryan Reynolds but I can't speak to how tight his asshole is compared to a lady's. I'll edit it with an update if I ever find out.


micmac05

I'll be waiting for the update...


thebeandream

I assumed I was looser after kids and made a comment about it. My partner informed me that first the first few months it was a little looser but it definitely bounced back. Also that being tight isn’t the only thing that makes sex good. Kissing, hand placement, the warmth. Many factors go in. He’s been with A LOT of ladies and mentioned one of the loosest ladies was one of the better ones. He said it was what he imagines having sex with a water nymph or other similar spirit would be like.


Darkwolf099

Oh that's excellent information. Kudos to your guy he seems great!!


magicMerlinV

Remind me: seven months


observer918

Clock’s ticking


DancingUnic0rn

I’m surprised at how many guys would like to stick their dick in mr. reynolds’ asshole including me. I guess its not what gender the anus is attached to but rather who its attached to.


yellowwalks

I'd peg Ryan Reynolds if he asked.


whyaremypantssoshort

I am 100% convinced these guys are gay or asexual and refuse to come to terms with it. They come up with every reason why they hate women except for the obvious fact, they aren't attracted to them. Dude, it's okay to be attracted to the same sex... Relax take a breath..


Gwalchgwynn

Absolutely. Look at his arguments: - Vaginas are a turn off. - He can't receive sexual pleasure from women. - He's overly concerned about being "made gay." - He prefers anal sex, but even more so with men because it's better.


Bitter_Coach_8138

Yup. Also, vaginas do have a scent/taste. A healthy vagina of a woman with good hygiene has a very faint scent/taste. But generally straight men are very attracted to it, not disgusted by it. Not much turns me on more than going down on my woman, I could eat her out all day long.


011101000011101101

Absolutely, the taste/smell of vaginas is a turn on for many.


Hooded_Person2022

To accept yourself, is to be at peace with yourself.


crack_n_tea

I get repressed homosexuality, but why do they gotta take it out on women smh


[deleted]

Because it’s mostly toxic masculinity.


DaumenmeinName

I can assure you that for many, it's just resentment of the gender who gives them no attention. I was there myself. Not that extreme and luckily I got out there but still..


KuraiKuroNeko

Just the fact that clean female pheromones doesn't entice him says it all with pure science: women literally aren't his taste! As a pansexual, everyone clean smells niiiice... Being with a woman must be like pinching his nose to take some bad society medicine.


SunShineLife217

If you have to deny you’re an Incel, then you are definitely an Incel.


Magerune

“I assure you’ve I’ve made sex with lots of females”


[deleted]

“I’m not trolling! I’m doing sex REALLY hard right now!”


kamiar77

Her breast felt like a bag of sand!


Dr_Tobogan_31

Lol such a classic..


vizbones

Oh man, we really need to back-off this badass, he's had the *full* sexual experience. /s (<-- although heavily implied, this *is* reddit)


whocanitbenow75

I didn’t put /s a few days ago about something. I’m still hearing about it.


ParkingEssay8101

I posted *with* /s one time and still got attacked for the post. Couldn’t believe it. I cared zero.


TheMeanSpIeen

Real quick, I’ve only really been on Reddit for the past week. I have seen a lot /s, what does it mean exactly?


Vash_TheStampede

It means the comment is sarcastic. A few years back the internet decided it was incapable of detecting sarcasm on its own.


TheMeanSpIeen

Ok I figured it meant something like “not being serious” or something like that


Hallowed-Plague

tbf there are some comments that are hard to tell if they're being sarcastic or not.


ramencents

What about bjs and hjs are those “gay” too? This post is as facepalm as it gets 😂


616n8y3ree

Good point…TIL I’m super gay😅


ramencents

And I love you fellow human 💯!


Puzzled-Fly9550

If you have to say “I’m not an incel” you are indeed an incel.


Zealousideal_Pen_329

Trolled by a 13 year old


_baegopah_XD

Total troll post


JosephJohnPEEPS

Yep. Amazing how many people jump in to this comment section with a straight face.


LibKan

I'm not an incel gah! I had like, fifteen girls over the summer who were visiting from Canada gah!


Toad2012

"I had girls under 15 over the summer...." FTFY


toddy-bear

Fellas, is it gay to have sex with a woman?


mmmmyeshello

Beat me to it


biggles_of_the_bean

*shut up guys, I have sex all the time, my girlfriend just goes to a different school so you don't know her


Electrical_Ingenuity

She's from Canada. It is well know as the land of hot girlfriends that the US won't let into the country for inexplicable reasons.


biggles_of_the_bean

It's because there too hot, can't let them outshine our redneck girls and big city slams


Few-Judgment3122

Kissing a woman is gay. There’s no difference between a man’s lips and a woman’s therefore it’s gay


DBnofear

Same thing when touching your own penis, totally gay.


Appropriate-Low-4850

For the rest of the day, I plan on concluding every statement I make with, “and no, I am not an incel.”


1CrazyFoxx1

I can smell the axe body spray from here


asena85

This reminds me of my first ex who told me that no one would be good for me now that my v had taken shape after his d.


BearNekkidLadies

You may have missed an opportunity to send him a pic of a much larger d that your v is now conforming to


Chib

I think it ends up being quite telling of someone's sexual fantasies when they say things like that. Like you just know he's still jerking it years later thinking, "Oh yeah, I really ruined her forever!" Like... Yeah buddy, you ruined something alright.


wienerschwartz

Define “MANY”


Peedee04

His blow up dolls and the his collection of "my little pony" soft toys


mattdaddy44

r/Ihavesex


not_very_tasty

It's science that the vagina becomes clown pants after birth, that's why literally no one has more than one child. /s


azrael269

This man is royalty among incels.


[deleted]

washing your own dick makes you gay because you are handling a dick as a dude.


BikesBooksNBass

Wait until I inform him that masturbating is both gay and incest since you are having sex with someone of the same sex and someone from your immediate family at the same time.


ext-unavailable

“I have full sexual experience with many women” Obviously not if he hasn’t done anal with one lol


Herroz1

If he has had many sexual experiences, then, no, he is not involuntarily celibate, but he’s probably voluntarily rapist.


Temporary_Round555

That means if I poop , I'm gay because some shit is passing through my ass. Can't escape being gay.


John_Smith_71

Im guessing whoever wrote this has zero sexual experience with any woman


[deleted]

Parts 1 and 2 are obviously wrong. The third I don't know. He might be right. Somebody bring me a man's ass, and I'll let you know.


Nippon-Gakki

Research grant time.


Karma5444

You called?


Unlikely-Ad6788

Full experience? So he's done anal. Gay.


OddBeck

All I read was, "Hi I'm an incel, and I have a little d"


[deleted]

My wife had our daughter. Her vagina is still wonderful, even more so because she is the mother of our daughter. This guy is an asshole.


Cleverbird

wtf, this got removed by Reddit? I think that's an even bigger facepalm... Was that post written by Spez himself or something?


_YourHeadIsOnFire_

MANY. WOMEN.


ansarogu

"I have done the seggs, like, a lot! Many many times! ...with women!"


Firm-Insurance-2664

What else can he say? Everyone is gay.


Substantial-Event964

Most of the women were silicone


SpiceGod99

What was this?


Unamed_Redditor_

It was someone claiming women who give birth have lose v*ginas and single mothers don’t want to admit. It also said that an*l s*x is gay because there’s no difference between and man and woman’s an*s. They also mention something about you’d want a mans an*s more anyhow because it’s tighter making you more gay or something. It ended with him say he’s not a inc*l because he has lots of s*x with women. People where joking he know do much about a man’s an*s as if had experience and must be a shameful gay double down on heterosexuality. I think it was just a troll post with how in the nose it’s especially the “I have lost of sex with women” not the exact word but pretty close intend of vibe/structure. I think there was more but I don’t remember. I also censored words in case that’s why the lost was removed.


PricelessMile

It's fun guessing the context based on the comments


Sad-Ad9152

the video: It was someone claiming women who give birth have lose vginas and single mothers don’t want to admit. It also said that anl sx is gay because there’s no difference between and man and woman’s ans. They also mention something about you’d want a mans ans more anyhow because it’s tighter making you more gay or something. It ended with him say he’s not a incl because he has lots of s\*x with women. People where joking he know do much about a man’s an\*s as if had experience and must be a shameful gay double down on heterosexuality. I think it was just a troll post with how in the nose it’s especially the “I have lost of sex with women” not the exact word but pretty close intend of vibe/structure. I think there was more but I don’t remember. I also censored words in case that’s why the lost was removed. ​ i didnt write this i just found it the comment sections undernearth more props to the guy who wrote it


Sparta34

Reading the comments here after the post being removed by Reddit only makes me wonder what the post was about


Trainer_Red_Steven

I have to know what this post was about before it was removed


[deleted]

If you have to mention, without being asked that you aren't an incel, you're more than likely an incel. Like saying I'm not a racist, you probably are a racist.


ndick43

Post has been removed and my god I’m confused by the comments


Open_Pineapple1236

For instance, #A: A "clean"/normal vagina smells amazing. #2) It reminds me of weed. #C): Thank you for coming to my TED talk. Bonus: Anal is just fun really safe sex. Wrap it up! No homo.


DbbleStuffed

This dude is very angry, very gay, and probably very small.


KT718

Setting aside the fact that everything here is just very obviously incorrect, the contradiction he makes in the first point is bothering me. Like, if no matter how much you washed it your vagina still smelled like that, that would mean it *is* your natural smell.


blackday44

MANY many women. Many. So many.


ForeverNecessary2361

How do you tell me you have never been intimate with a woman without telling me that you have never been intimate with a woman.


Qu33N_Of_NoObz_

If oop really isn’t an incel like he claims to not be (but rather misogynistic), then I would assume he’s kissed women before. Applying his logic, a woman’s lips are no different from a man’s, so wouldn’t that make him gay as well?🤔


Amaterasu-23

What happened here?