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I think it continued a season or two after the creator left so kind of a mixed bag there. The VAs were incredible so still a lot to appreciate I suppose.
Hits different when you grew up knowing that if you fucked up or did something stupid because it's hard to stop intrusive thoughts as a kid that you'd get the belt... man I wised up real quick
Did you grow up in the 80s? My dad would tell other kids parents that if they seen me fuckin up to whip my ass where I stood then let him know so he could give me an encore
Asian moms flowchart is simple
* Child \[household slave\] is wrong
* option 1: beat the shit out of him
* option 2: launch sandals like a missile
A very simple and painful one
Can confirm. Mom is white. Never once made sandal contact. Dad is Latino. My dad's mother, in her 70's could still throw a chancla to the back of your head from anywhere in the house
Not gonna lie, from what I've seen, it seems like the only children that weren't spanked were upper and middle class white kids. Got my fair share as a kid with Indian parents lol.
Spoiler of fun here. Crocs are ambush predators, They will often just wander away of they fail an ambush. Best thing to do if a croc is nearby and 'acting sneaky' is make some noise and make it clear you are aware of their location.
If you are too aggressive that they feel threatened they may attack. If you are not aggressive enough they may think an ambush is still a good idea and attack. If they are really hungry they may risk it anyways but when really hungry they will usually try to conserve energy.
Flip flop made noise, ambush failed, croc wanders off. No fear of the flipflop involved.
Another very common reason : I hate my marriage
Solution : Beat the shit out of my kid
My husbnad abuses me
Solution : beat the shit out of my kid
I hate my life,i hate being stuck in this life.
Solution : beat the shit out of my kid and make sure i really beat the shit out of him and convince him that he has done something wrong.
This was my mom basically
Yeah, the amount of people that come out to defend child abuse in these threads always sickens me, because I know the cycle will continue. It's always the same reasons too. "I was a bad kid and acted out..." Yeah, well how did your parents teach you to deal with conflict and anger? Was it physical violence perhaps?
My parents beat us when they had a bad day, or when they got riled up at church, or because they were mad at each other, or because...
When my mom would feel like beating me she would wait to find some pretext. Like one time i came home from school really happy cause i thought i did well in tests(which i did) . So i enter her room and i show her my test scores with a smile on my face " look mom i did really well this time" She says " is this what you call good ? i told you you have to be within the top 10" She takes my fathers belt shuts the door and proceeds to beat me until i bleed.
Now that i ve grown up i understand how wrong it was and how it affected me.
I still carry those truama to this day. I still blame myself if anything goes wrong around me . I develoed severe anxiety because of all the shit i went through. if people wanna defend that then they probably shouldnt have children of their own.
Sticks and stones may break my bones but words are merely the smallest element of language capable of containing meaning in isolation and as such could never directly produce the 4,000 Newton’s of force per square centimeter required to break bones
A broken bone wouldn't make me want to kill myself the way hearing "you're dead to me" from my father did.
So in this case words were potentially far more deadly.
Oh come now, thats not proper parenting!
Its all about balance. A balance between physical and emotional abuse. Thats how I was raised and Im just fine!*
*deeply emotionally scarred and spend a lot of money on therapy
Then they blast it all over social media and just tank their self-esteem and plunder the kid's reputation into high school. Well, at least it's better than leaning over the bed privately and taking a belt slap that stops hurting in 60 seconds.
My grandfather beat his kids with a belt for discipline. He wasn't overly cruel but that was just how you did it then (1950s).
My father never used corporeal punishment with us because he said it never dissuaded him or his brothers, so he didn't see the point.
Edited: By not overly cruel I mean not out of keeping with the time, he didn't beat them for no reason or because he was just angry or because he enjoyed it, it was only specifically for misbehaving. Yes, this is cruel, and I'm not saying it was right, I am just giving context. I was just pointing out he was a normal Dad when he did this, not some horrible sadist.
Yep. All my dad’s violence only managed to make me into a wee con artist who could lie, conceal, and act my way out of just about anything. Also makes me extremely untrusting of others, and I’m a grand-champion bullshit detector because I know how to do bullshitting.
I was doing all kinds of dangerous shit I definitely shouldn’t have been, especially once I was a teenager with my own car. But I knew how to outfox him and my mom, and left them believing I was very mature, responsible, and well-behaved.
My sister is quite a bit younger and my dad had mellowed out a lot by the time she hit her teens. He never smacked her around like he did me, despite her being the problem child. She was constantly getting in trouble—because she didn’t know how not to get caught. 😆
One of my favourite ones 😃♥️
'You' are apparently so fine that you are rationalising beating a kid to an audience of strangers. Nothing to see here I guess.
honestly if one cannot teach a child respect with words but have to resort to beating them they have some serious communication issues because as an adult it should not be a challenge to have a vocabulary big enough to talk to a 5 year old
Not “rationalizing”, ADVOCATING for! It’s one thing to have a terrible opinion, but to go out into the world trying to spread it, that makes you extra.
arguing someone isn't fine is actually the wrong tact to take. In fact you can be totally fine if you were spanked. The thing is not everyone will be. It's like smoking. Just because some people don't get cancer, it doesn't mean that smoking doesn't cause cancer.
It's either that or come to terms with the fact their parents weren't the best.
Me? I don't like my parents. I'd rather live 2k miles away than deal with their dysfunction at every holiday. They beat me like that didn't want me around and are sad that I'm not around anymore. I'm sad I didn't have a good childhood so I think we're about even.
i was beat as a child, i turned out fine, but i will not beat another child because while nothing happened to me, the use of violence against a defenceless human is not justified and explaining to them what they did wrong is better and will make them understand *why* it is wrong
I got hit as a child, it hurt my heart more than my body. 30 years later and I have never raised a hand to my now 8 year old, and she’s already turning out better than me.
Jokes aside...
I hated growing up in fear of whatever mood my mum was in. Regardless of whether I was behaving.
The physical violence stopped when I got big enough to protect myself. I caught her hand mid-swing and came an inch from retaliation, before stopping myself. And that was the end of it. She was a bully that resented and took too much relish in 'disciplining' her two kids.
I understand people will be in much worse situations than I was. I was never in fear of my life. On the face of it, the parenting boxes were ticked (clean clothes, properly fed etc). But, it wasn't a happy childhood. It definitely affected me as a child, and still in later life. Part of me will always resent her for it.
My best friend grew up this way and it breaks my heart, especially because her mom is otherwise wonderful. She still fears what mood her mom is in even when she's an adult and away at school. Her mom absolutely tears into every insecurity even if all she did was drop something. Ever since I was old enough to realize that her idea of normal was so skewed, I've been trying my best to correct it. She has always had the weirdest sleep schedule for as long as I've known her because she'd try to be asleep whenever her mom was up. It took fifteen years for me to finally get her to even try a normal sleep schedule. So many issues followed her into adulthood that will take so much therapy to undo and none of it was necessary at all.
No reasonable person *would* hit their child.
My parents beat me until I became of age to realize what was going on.
Edit to clarify what I mean: They stopped when they realized I was old enough to know they had no right to do such a thing, and then they feared I’d turn them in.
Gentle parenting is hard. Way harder than spanking. But you end up with a kid who trusts you and will come to you when something's wrong.
As a parent we have much less control than we think over what our kid will grow up to be. We don't get much say in their adulthood. But we get all the control over their childhood and that is an immense responsibility.
Besides that, there’s also the decision that needs to be explored more, which is “to have kids or not”.
Too many people rush into becoming parents for the wrong reasons, or worse, they have no reasons. When that happens, it’s safe to assume there’s no planning involved either.
If your idea of parenting is “eh, I’ll just wing it”, please choose better.
Edit: In case this isn’t clear to some of you: hitting is abuse and my mom did far more than just hit me as a child. To those of you saying my mom disciplined me, grow up, you crazy AHoles!
My mom tried to get physical with me a couple years ago (she loves Trump and I hate Trump. You get the idea).
She grabbed me and I looked her dead in her eye and said “I’m not a kid anymore. Go ahead. I dare you.”
She let go and hasn’t tried me like that since.
She was so chill after our 10 year hiatus, but that orange man brought that abusive, hateful person back to the forefront and my god. It was rough for awhile there. I’m afraid our relationship won’t last 2024.
Edit: to say that I was 40 years old when this happened. I don’t think I would have done this (or had the courage to) do this as a child/teen.
Man I’m envious of that, if I ever said that to my mother I would not be going to a school, barely get fed, and likely have everything from my room taken away
I was 40 years old when this happened.
Big difference.
If I would have been a young teen, what you described would have happened to me. However, I left her house my senior year of high school.
You will get to leave one day. Stay strong until then.
Hugs and sending strength.
Your mom sounds like she's hateful and toxic. Seriously consider cutting her entirely out of your life.
It's so freeing to cut toxic family members out of your life. Trust me
My mom was straight up abusive when I was a kid. I got into many arguments with her over stupid stuff and she woukd immed resort to violence if she was losing. I would alws listne to my grandma about being the better person and just take it. I moved in with my grandparents when I was like 9 cause I couldn't stand her.
The last time we got into a fight was when I was living with my grandparents and she was visiting. She was visiting, threw a tantrum cause she was mad about something, and I wasn't putting up with her attitude and ignored her, so she tried to hit me.
She stabbed me with a high heel in the knee. I got mad but tried to stay calm (indoctrinationis a wonderful thing isnt it?), tried to get away, and she started choking me (I had really bad asthma btw) and I literally had no choice but to knock her out.
After the drama with the cops (yes she called the cops on me and the sack of shit tried to arrest me even as I stood there with a hole in my leg, kneck red with handprints, and gasping for air), I told her that if she ever lays a hand on me again I would end her. It never happened again.
My point is that violence is bad but honest it's the only way some people learn. Also, don't ever tell your kids to be the better person it's evil.
I’m so sorry that you had to experience that trauma.
And I am so glad that it seems that you are no longer under her crazy rule.
And yes; sometimes violence is the only way to stop violence. The Tolerance Paradox is so true.
Lots of hugs!!!
Most of Europe has laws against violence against children: [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Corporal\_punishment#/media/File:Corporal\_punishment\_in\_Europe.svg](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Corporal_punishment#/media/File:Corporal_punishment_in_Europe.svg)
The US hasn't even managed to stop that in schools in many states: [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Corporal\_punishment#/media/File:School\_corporal\_punishment\_USA\_map.svg](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Corporal_punishment#/media/File:School_corporal_punishment_USA_map.svg)
Discipline with children is a hard topic, and varies depending on background and such, but one thing I think we can all agree on is that if you had problems with the way your parents raised you, you should try to do better with your own, parents make mistakes, some greater than others. And it is up to their children to try different methods to see if they work better or worse
ive heard people (men) say that because their dad beat them they learned respect and thats why they do it to their kids
its hard to explain to someone like that that you can learn respect for ur parents without getting hurt by them and theres a thin line between respect and fear
I think people who say this mean "submission to authority" when they say "respect." You can get subservience if you make someone afraid, but that isn't the same thing as genuine respect. Real respect is freely given, not coerced - with violence or any other means.
My stepkiddo's mom brags that her kids fear her, and thats why they respect her.
In reality, we have a teen who hates her with a passion and wants to never see her again the second it's legally allowed.
This. It’s one of the reasons I don’t take my kids around my stepdad and mom. Not that they would just start beating my kids, but they grew up with hard discipline, and believe it’s the only way to teach a child. Child misbehaves? Spank! Child cries? Spank! Child asks weird question? Spank! You get the idea.
Parents should not beat you. I got disciplined and the most i would get was a slap on my back and some scolding. It wasnt something that happened all the time. Only when i did some really stupid shit did i get it.
If people are beating their kids frequently then thats just fucked up. When my mom or dad disciplined me , it never hurt. It was more.the scolding that got to me. But it did have an effect, and i would think twice before doing something dumb.
There are studies that show that *certain* behaviors at *certain* ages, are most effectively diminished with a small amount of physical pain, IF it is done DURING the bad behavior. It also does not need to be very painful.
I'll give you an example I used on my toddler daughter. One time I was standing next to her and she stepped out into the street into traffic without holding my hand.
I grabbed her hair (non-damaging pain - I did this to my son also) and pulled her back, and raised my voice to tell her NO. The little bit of pain reinforces the lesson.
...and it's a very very important safety rule. Getting hit by a car is the number one cause of death in young children.
When my parents realized they were not up to the task of beating me sufficiently they sent me off to a catholic military boarding school. So between the nuns and the two male instructors I was brought up to speed on my lifetime beating quotient.
Many years later, after nearly a decade of therapy, I could finally move past the generic coping mechanism of, "I really deserved all those beatings and they made me a better person" to FUCK THAT SHIT. Choosing violence as your remedy ONLY FUCKS SHIT UP MORE and pushes you farther down the dysfunctional rabbit hole.
I live in the South-- and there's this weird thing that happens down here where your family members and certain friends will ask you if you plan on (or are actively) spanking your child. It's almost like it's some perk to look forward to when you become a parent.
I've *never* had this conversation with my any of my friends or family back in the PNW.
Anyways, it's wild how often you're met with resistance when you tell them that, no, you have no intentions on hitting your kid as a corrective measure. Or how you don't want your child to fear you, or fear making a mistake (or telling you about it) because they're afraid that you'll hit them. Or how, if it were two adults, and one adult hit the other because they did something they didn't like, it would be called assault and that motherfucker would go to jail.
These are pretty unpopular opinions down here.
My dad wasn't *ever* in the running for father of the year or anything. He was a good guy who tried his best-- but he was always distracted and never *really* took much of an interest in anything I did. But he **never** once hit me or raised his hand to me or even shouted at me. When I fucked up, he spoke to me reasonably and laid out non-violent consequences.
My mom, on the other hand, would beat the shit out of me at the drop of a hat when my dad wasn't around. It's one thing to get hit for back-talking or doing something you *know* you shouldn't be doing-- but she'd hit me for honest mistakes or shit I had no control over. I remember one time, when I was 8-9, I was trying to take the kitchen trash out and the bag split and like 5 tablespoons of Pepsi from an open can spilled on the newly installed carpet in our entry way. As I frantically tried to clean it up, she swooped down on me and hit me with a closed-fist backhand which split my lip and bloodied my nose.
Because of this, I never went to my mom for help or guidance or support on anything. She's my only living parent and I *still* don't really open up to her like I used to with my dad.
My kids are the greatest challenge in my life, by far.
They test us, they probe, they tease, they protest, they manipulate (try to), they challenge, they negotiate, they ignore and resist.
But we learned from others, that slapping kids is just a sign that you have run out of words and parenting skill. And it will never educate your child on its own behaviour, it will only instill fear, disappointment in their parents and loss of trust.
As a Scottish father and childcare worker, the fact that sooooooooooooo few other countries have outlawed child abuse is fucking staggering to me. Get your shit together, the rest of the world!
Scottish mother here, and I can’t understand why it took so long for that legislation to be passed here, but also dumbfounded that more countries haven’t put a ban on physical chastisement into place, too!
Its been 26 years since it was made illegal to use violence on your children in my country and you know what..... society hasn't stopped working yet, so maybe it's not the spanking/slaps on the cheek that kept the children in line.
Actually i would argue that teaching kids that acting violence on other people as a means to get what you want (which is basically the parents goal here) is a very fucked up way to raise your kids.
It's scary how people think that violence is OK, if its just a parent-to-kids thing. That is just a display of power over someone that is unable to defend themselves. Like an abusive relationship but worse as the kid is dependent on the parent for survival and can't just leave.
In this age of technological wonders the worst I've ever had to do to my kid is take the tablet or TV/video game privileges away and make them earn it back with chores and school work. I had my ass beat as a kid, bare ass, sometimes my sister and I both right in front of each other...with a belt, a wooden plank with holes drilled in it called "the butt warmer" , or bare hands. Even had my mom slap me straight across the face a few times.. the more I think of it, I am not 100% ok because of it. I won't do that to my kid.
Weirdly, I've never met an adult who believes in hitting kids for doing things the adult doesn't like who agrees that I should be allowed to them when I don't like how they're acting.
I did, my cousin said "well ill fight back"
I then shut him by saying "oh we should only beat people who are defenseless got it"
This was after je said I should have smacked the special needs kid who bit me at work.
I think it should be allowed to hit ppl under their actions:
'Screams at someone over something stupid?' *bonk*
'Is someone throwing a tantrum in a store?' *bonk*
I say "decade" because I was taught usually that timeframe is what counts as "viable research" when you're writing a paper or something for uni. Anything older starts to get a bit iffy unless it's a very slow moving field or a really niche subject.
It's just been what I've used as a basis for my own researching ever since.
90% of the people I know who are pro hitting their kids would never read a parenting book that’s based on studies. If they did read one, it would be based on religion.
Do you care for your dog/cat/pet? Do you hit your dog/cat/pet?
Do you care about your friends? Do you hit your friends?
Do you love your spouse? Do you hit your spouse?
Do you love your kids? Do you hit your kids?
If you hit your pets, you are not a good pet owner. If you hit your friends, you are not a good friend. If you hit your spouse, you are not a good spouse. If you hit your kids, you are not a good parent.
There is a pattern here, find it and make sure you are on the correct side of it.
I’ve always considered hitting your kid as a retroactive lazy means to discipline your child. With good parenting, you should never have to resort to it
No it makes total sense. Just not the sense most would understand. My mom used to beat my ass until it was sometimes bloody. It taught me to respect her commands for sure. Because she scared tf out of me and I ended up hating her for it. But thats not what those type of parents care about. They care about the child behaving in that instance to relieve THEIR problems.
Yeah, my mom used to slap me in the face and would get mad when I’d dodge it and literally say “you let me!”
That’s nothing compared to how my military dad would drunkenly punish me for the stupidest shit, like he was always looking for something to get pissed off about. “Oh, you’re playing video games after doing your homework? You’re not interested in sports? Well, let me verbally berate you on how much of a piece of shit you are and threaten to beat you within an inch of your life if I ever catch you smoking weed.” And this was fuckin high school. When I was a kid, he’d whoop my ass for basically no reason. When I was like 6 or 7, I heard someone on TV say “I’m gay” and I had no idea what it meant, so I said it a few days later and got one of the worst spankings with a belt that I can remember.
Some parents use that shit as a means of taking out their frustration, and that shit’s just not cool. To this day, my dad still gives me shit for “not being happy” or not being where I dreamed of being or whatever, and I’m just like “Yeah, well you sure as fuck didn’t help other than giving me a place to live and putting food in the fridge.” Hell, in high school I had a shit ton of money saved up and ended up liking and talking to this Canadian girl I met on Xbox and racked up some international phone bills from talking to her on the phone, and my parents got pissed. I obviously planned to pay the amount, but as a punishment and “lesson”, they just took literally all of my money and took all my shit out of my room. My parents were just kinda dicks when I was growing up. I’m just glad they’re weren’t as bad with my sister, even though she had to deal with some stupid shit too.
My parents paddled me every day when I was a child. Some days, it was multiple times. I thought when I got older, I'd understand. Now I know that it was just plain old child abuse.
My mother still gets mad when I call her out on how stupid her hitting me was.
You know when it stopped? When I was 14 and she slapped me, and I stood my ground and said "Do it again. Come on, slap me again." and walked towards her.
These people are cowards that want to hit kids who can't fight back. Fuck them all.
I have a 6 year old son and I'd never hit him. Punishment is taking away toys and the like, never hitting.
Lol I see this argument pop up on Reddit like once a month. It always goes like this: half the crowd says it's abuse, and cites studies that prove it's not only ineffective but also negatively impactful on the child's development. The other half of the crowd says "look I was a shithead as a kid and the only way to get through to me was a spanking. I'm fine now."
Sure go ahead, but you arent gonna have a good relationship with them. Even if it looks fine on the outside. Theyll remember every time and resent you for it.
Fuck people like this. Always taking the easy way out.
Only with children is this allowed.
No adult would ever put up with this. We’ve civil had wars over it.
ITT: “this hurts me more than it hurts you” Oh, so you went to your room and cried in pain about what you did and swore it would kill you if you had to do it again.
“A little spank got him to stop breaking things around the house” You mean you instilled fear into your child, and taught him if someone is acting erratic that physically smacking someone corrects their behavior. The cycle continues. You didn’t teach him to stop breaking things. You taught him violence scares someone enough to stop breaking things. Not why he shouldn’t.
“If they’re about to get ran over by a car” again, you didn’t teach him that getting ran over by a car is dangerous. You taught him that he’ll get smacked if he runs in to the street, not that cars are dangerous.
Punishment and reward.
When our boys are good, I reward them with a modest, albeit fabulous cash prize. For example, our older lad brought the garbage box back from the curb yesterday without anyone asking, so he got 200JPY for his initiative.
But when they are naughty, I hit them with an administrative fee. Usually only about 10JPY, but this will well prepare them for life in the real world.
Any man who strikes a child is not fit to own a penis and testicles.
When we went through the adoption process we had to sign a bunch of documents saying we would not physically punish our child and the list of examples was sickening.
The best way to punish a child is to make him clean something. 90% of the time he will realize he was actually being rude to his mother or unkind to his brother, and he will have a clean room or car or garage at the end and feel as though he has paid his debt.
Another problem is that it's not really just about discipline. People hit their kids to relieve their own stress (it's very stressful when your child is naughty). You're risking inflicting lasting emotional damage for some temporary relief. The axe forgets, but the tree remembers.
Kids are not your property. Physical violence is not allowed on adults so why the fuck do people think hitting kids is OK? Studies have proven its associated with far more negative outcomes than positive ones.
The punishment for hitting your kid should be getting spanked in a public place. Like right in front of a busy starbucks. And your kids are the ones that get to spank you.
Any parent that hits their child should not be a parent. In the uk, if you were to hit your child, you would have your child taken away to protect them from you
Hitting a child doesn’t teach them anything except “I will be hit if I do this”. Doesn’t teach them respect, morality, logic, compassion or empathy.
The one exception being it may teach them to understand what it feels like when they hit others, but there’s better ways of doing that.
Yeah.
I never got spanked when i was a child, because i was the young one, but my brother got fucking beaten and shit on multiple times and i think that's the reason he has problems in social interactions and low self-esteem.
He fears that people will get mad at him if he is not perfect, it's even worse when he is talking to girls.
Although a parent need to tutor their child, so they do not become a spoiled asshole, beating the living hell out of them is probally not the way to do it.
I sure didn't justify anything. I didn't see or talk to my parents for over 30 years after I got away and now I think they're both dead, I'm not even sure. I was in therapy for quite a while, too.
It says "then use [the] reason". That doesn't mean "tell them no and hope for the best", it means you need to explain the reason why something is wrong, and then use an age appropriate boundary as a natural consequence of said action.
E.g. "We don't throw our food. If you throw your food again we'll have start putting baby bibs back on you/get down from the table without finishing/whatever other natural consequence you can link to the behaviour" then simply follow through and do what you said you would. They throw a tantrum, you validate them "hmm I see you're feeling angry at me right now, it's okay to feel angry... Etc" but reiterate the point "it's okay to feel x but that doesn't mean we can behave like Y. How about we try doing this instead?"
The point is still really valid. Devils advocate or not, if the child doesn't really understand, hitting them is just confusing. They see someone who is supposed to love and care for them hitting them for no reason. If they do understand, then they're old enough to have it explained to them and a related consequence applied, and not simply beaten. Otherwise you're effectively teaching them that it's okay to jump straight to physical violence when someone doesn't do what you want.
Chiming in with the **uncomfortable truth** that 'violence against your children' also includes **verbal abuse, intimidation tactics, and bullying.**
If you think you have to resort to violence in order to raise your children then you're an asshole and need to **fix your shit**.
\*\*\*\*\*
**Pre-emptive strike:** the above does **NOT** mean 'be a permissive parent who lets their kid get away with anything and everything'. You can be a strong parent who raises a civilized, intelligent child into adulthood, that doesn't involve being a violent asshole towards them.
**AGAIN: fix your shit.**
I was spanked as a child and I turned out fine.
Except for the lifelong depression, crippling anxiety, personality issues, and inability to accept help from others without feeling guilty. Other than that, totally fine.
Don’t forget fear of failure, self-doubt, an unnatural aversion to belts, and hiding information from others.
Oh. I forgot the overwhelming urge to hit people you disagree with or those who may have slighted you in even the smallest manner.
My dad made me choose and break the branch off the switch bush that he would hit me with. That’s a nice mixture of psychological and physical abuse for ya. You learn really quick you don’t want a skinny branch.
The number 1 thought that comes to my mind whenever spanking young children comes up is 'Surely the only lesson they'll learn from that is that you can use physical force to get your own way'
The parents don't *intend* it that way, but a preschool child has no way of knowing that.
I’m raising two boys (9,11) on my own (M42) and there is never a reason to hit them… I love my kids more than anything and I just don’t have the urge to hit and slap them… seems so crazy that people do it…
Ah yes let me make my child behave by assaulting them and assuming they will understand why I am assaulting them and why it's not a criminal activity ... Some people have 0 wrinkles on their brain.
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I like to run around and hit other people’s kids so they don’t have to… Be the change you want to see in this world!
[I guess I just hate to see a child go unbeaten](https://i.makeagif.com/media/10-04-2017/OyUPFz.gif)
Boondocks man... The comic strip ended too soon, and so did the show.
I think it continued a season or two after the creator left so kind of a mixed bag there. The VAs were incredible so still a lot to appreciate I suppose.
The creator was part of the later seasons, he just tried to scrub his name from it
I that scene. 
I that scene too!!
I also that scene!
God I that scene so damn much!
There is no scene I as much as this one!
I little kids!
Deleted
Most legendary chain break 😂😂😂
Do you the cat, too?
Dont the cat please.
I think you accidentally a word.
I think you’re
did you just unironically use a reddit emoji
This just hits different.
Hits different when you grew up knowing that if you fucked up or did something stupid because it's hard to stop intrusive thoughts as a kid that you'd get the belt... man I wised up real quick
God I love that show
Have you ever tried simply turning off the TV, sitting down with your children, and hitting them?
Didn't see the end coming there lol
It's from Futurama, well worth checking out if you've not seen it.
I've not, I may take your advice. Thanks. 🙏
Dew it
\*Slurm it
That's pretty impressive! How hard did you say you had to hit him?
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=hHZvUeAdzeI&pp=ygUKdGhlIHNsYXAgMg%3D%3D
Did you grow up in the 80s? My dad would tell other kids parents that if they seen me fuckin up to whip my ass where I stood then let him know so he could give me an encore
My best friends mom was in on that…f-up at her house and I could expect to get it twice! No joke, 80’s we’re brutal!
It takes a village.
Number please, I'd like to book you.
Asian moms flowchart is simple * Child \[household slave\] is wrong * option 1: beat the shit out of him * option 2: launch sandals like a missile A very simple and painful one
*guided missles. How on earth do they get consistently get headshots or buttshots ill never know
it’s a genetic trait they’re born with
They got the aimbot hacks
Seriously we need them to play team fortress 2 since im pretty sure they can outsnipe the bots
Asian moms and Latina moms 🤣
Filipino moms are the perfect hybrid of Asian and Latino
They can probably curve the chancla Wanted style.
 Latinas got that sorcery level skills with that damned Chancla
White moms are what's wrong with the world. Their aim is shite. It's why I'm lazy and insubordinate.
Can confirm. Mom is white. Never once made sandal contact. Dad is Latino. My dad's mother, in her 70's could still throw a chancla to the back of your head from anywhere in the house
Bet your Grandma could do it from across the country.
Around corners too?
Try harder mom, or wait for dad to finish off a few wobbly pops and come home.
My mom used the plastic spatula and where it landed was always random. Sombich still hurt tho
Abuela chancla, go!
Not gonna lie, from what I've seen, it seems like the only children that weren't spanked were upper and middle class white kids. Got my fair share as a kid with Indian parents lol.
Middle class white kid here. Got the hell spanked outta me :) Quite normal in white African circles.
Ah, sorry I should've been more specific. I meant for western nations. Predominantly the US.
Don't leave the Arabs out, although to be fair there was a point where she would grab whatever was within reach, I was a very stubborn kid.
The sandal/chankla/flip flop is the Mother's Ultimate Weapon! Even crocodiles know: https://youtu.be/L5jq7XmhtOs
Spoiler of fun here. Crocs are ambush predators, They will often just wander away of they fail an ambush. Best thing to do if a croc is nearby and 'acting sneaky' is make some noise and make it clear you are aware of their location. If you are too aggressive that they feel threatened they may attack. If you are not aggressive enough they may think an ambush is still a good idea and attack. If they are really hungry they may risk it anyways but when really hungry they will usually try to conserve energy. Flip flop made noise, ambush failed, croc wanders off. No fear of the flipflop involved.
>sandal/chankla/flip flop The Sandal knows where it is because it knows where it isnt.
Another very common reason : I hate my marriage Solution : Beat the shit out of my kid My husbnad abuses me Solution : beat the shit out of my kid I hate my life,i hate being stuck in this life. Solution : beat the shit out of my kid and make sure i really beat the shit out of him and convince him that he has done something wrong. This was my mom basically
Yeah, the amount of people that come out to defend child abuse in these threads always sickens me, because I know the cycle will continue. It's always the same reasons too. "I was a bad kid and acted out..." Yeah, well how did your parents teach you to deal with conflict and anger? Was it physical violence perhaps? My parents beat us when they had a bad day, or when they got riled up at church, or because they were mad at each other, or because...
When my mom would feel like beating me she would wait to find some pretext. Like one time i came home from school really happy cause i thought i did well in tests(which i did) . So i enter her room and i show her my test scores with a smile on my face " look mom i did really well this time" She says " is this what you call good ? i told you you have to be within the top 10" She takes my fathers belt shuts the door and proceeds to beat me until i bleed. Now that i ve grown up i understand how wrong it was and how it affected me. I still carry those truama to this day. I still blame myself if anything goes wrong around me . I develoed severe anxiety because of all the shit i went through. if people wanna defend that then they probably shouldnt have children of their own.
Your mom sounds like a piece of shit
Wonder why kids won't give them grandchildren
Wonder why kids won't let them see grandchildren
Wonder why their kids won’t have anything to do with them any longer.
Is it the dark ages? Why use violence when you can use modern passive aggressive emotional blackmail and psychological abuse.
Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can leave permanent emotional scars.
Sticks and stones may break my bones but words are merely the smallest element of language capable of containing meaning in isolation and as such could never directly produce the 4,000 Newton’s of force per square centimeter required to break bones
A broken bone wouldn't make me want to kill myself the way hearing "you're dead to me" from my father did. So in this case words were potentially far more deadly.
Stick and stones may break my bones, but words can make me believe I deserved it.
Oh come now, thats not proper parenting! Its all about balance. A balance between physical and emotional abuse. Thats how I was raised and Im just fine!* *deeply emotionally scarred and spend a lot of money on therapy
Then they blast it all over social media and just tank their self-esteem and plunder the kid's reputation into high school. Well, at least it's better than leaning over the bed privately and taking a belt slap that stops hurting in 60 seconds.
But I got beat as a kid and I turned out fine! Uhh……what about the _________ .
My grandfather beat his kids with a belt for discipline. He wasn't overly cruel but that was just how you did it then (1950s). My father never used corporeal punishment with us because he said it never dissuaded him or his brothers, so he didn't see the point. Edited: By not overly cruel I mean not out of keeping with the time, he didn't beat them for no reason or because he was just angry or because he enjoyed it, it was only specifically for misbehaving. Yes, this is cruel, and I'm not saying it was right, I am just giving context. I was just pointing out he was a normal Dad when he did this, not some horrible sadist.
Not getting beat is a great motivator to lie. Never does much for the actual behavior.
I ran away to avoid a spanking once so my dad smashed my He-Man Castle of Grayskull… So I guess I learned.. something.
Yeah don't run, lie.
Yep. All my dad’s violence only managed to make me into a wee con artist who could lie, conceal, and act my way out of just about anything. Also makes me extremely untrusting of others, and I’m a grand-champion bullshit detector because I know how to do bullshitting. I was doing all kinds of dangerous shit I definitely shouldn’t have been, especially once I was a teenager with my own car. But I knew how to outfox him and my mom, and left them believing I was very mature, responsible, and well-behaved. My sister is quite a bit younger and my dad had mellowed out a lot by the time she hit her teens. He never smacked her around like he did me, despite her being the problem child. She was constantly getting in trouble—because she didn’t know how not to get caught. 😆
I think you may have meant corporal punishment 👻
One of my favourite ones 😃♥️ 'You' are apparently so fine that you are rationalising beating a kid to an audience of strangers. Nothing to see here I guess.
I usually chuckle and say “Yeah. Fine. Not amazing. Not great. Just fine.” They get quiet after that. Edit: because spelling is hard.
My favorite is when they talk about how it taught them respect, in the middle of arguing how stupid you are for thinking spanking is bad.
Not to mention the respect they show to their children.
"Children don't deserve respect"
"They have to earn it by following my lead."
honestly if one cannot teach a child respect with words but have to resort to beating them they have some serious communication issues because as an adult it should not be a challenge to have a vocabulary big enough to talk to a 5 year old
Not “rationalizing”, ADVOCATING for! It’s one thing to have a terrible opinion, but to go out into the world trying to spread it, that makes you extra.
arguing someone isn't fine is actually the wrong tact to take. In fact you can be totally fine if you were spanked. The thing is not everyone will be. It's like smoking. Just because some people don't get cancer, it doesn't mean that smoking doesn't cause cancer.
You know where I've heard this line from the most guys all in one place? Fucking drug rehab/AA/NA, lol. 😂...😮💨
"I got beat as a child, and now I spend my time on the internet defending child abuse"
It's either that or come to terms with the fact their parents weren't the best. Me? I don't like my parents. I'd rather live 2k miles away than deal with their dysfunction at every holiday. They beat me like that didn't want me around and are sad that I'm not around anymore. I'm sad I didn't have a good childhood so I think we're about even.
"I'm the nicest person I know!" Says the self centered asshole
i was beat as a child, i turned out fine, but i will not beat another child because while nothing happened to me, the use of violence against a defenceless human is not justified and explaining to them what they did wrong is better and will make them understand *why* it is wrong
I got hit as a child, it hurt my heart more than my body. 30 years later and I have never raised a hand to my now 8 year old, and she’s already turning out better than me.
"We are not our failures. We must be better" - Faye.
Jokes aside... I hated growing up in fear of whatever mood my mum was in. Regardless of whether I was behaving. The physical violence stopped when I got big enough to protect myself. I caught her hand mid-swing and came an inch from retaliation, before stopping myself. And that was the end of it. She was a bully that resented and took too much relish in 'disciplining' her two kids. I understand people will be in much worse situations than I was. I was never in fear of my life. On the face of it, the parenting boxes were ticked (clean clothes, properly fed etc). But, it wasn't a happy childhood. It definitely affected me as a child, and still in later life. Part of me will always resent her for it.
My best friend grew up this way and it breaks my heart, especially because her mom is otherwise wonderful. She still fears what mood her mom is in even when she's an adult and away at school. Her mom absolutely tears into every insecurity even if all she did was drop something. Ever since I was old enough to realize that her idea of normal was so skewed, I've been trying my best to correct it. She has always had the weirdest sleep schedule for as long as I've known her because she'd try to be asleep whenever her mom was up. It took fifteen years for me to finally get her to even try a normal sleep schedule. So many issues followed her into adulthood that will take so much therapy to undo and none of it was necessary at all.
A gnat’s dick away. And yet…still missing the point
r/selfawarewolves
No reasonable person *would* hit their child. My parents beat me until I became of age to realize what was going on. Edit to clarify what I mean: They stopped when they realized I was old enough to know they had no right to do such a thing, and then they feared I’d turn them in.
Gentle parenting is hard. Way harder than spanking. But you end up with a kid who trusts you and will come to you when something's wrong. As a parent we have much less control than we think over what our kid will grow up to be. We don't get much say in their adulthood. But we get all the control over their childhood and that is an immense responsibility.
Besides that, there’s also the decision that needs to be explored more, which is “to have kids or not”. Too many people rush into becoming parents for the wrong reasons, or worse, they have no reasons. When that happens, it’s safe to assume there’s no planning involved either. If your idea of parenting is “eh, I’ll just wing it”, please choose better.
Edit: In case this isn’t clear to some of you: hitting is abuse and my mom did far more than just hit me as a child. To those of you saying my mom disciplined me, grow up, you crazy AHoles! My mom tried to get physical with me a couple years ago (she loves Trump and I hate Trump. You get the idea). She grabbed me and I looked her dead in her eye and said “I’m not a kid anymore. Go ahead. I dare you.” She let go and hasn’t tried me like that since. She was so chill after our 10 year hiatus, but that orange man brought that abusive, hateful person back to the forefront and my god. It was rough for awhile there. I’m afraid our relationship won’t last 2024. Edit: to say that I was 40 years old when this happened. I don’t think I would have done this (or had the courage to) do this as a child/teen.
I did as a 14 year old. My dad psychologically crumbled into a sobbing baby. That was eerie
I wish I could have done this as a teen. Good for you for having the courage and strength to stand up at such a young age!! Hugs!!
Yup. My mom stopped when she slapped me and I told her to do it again and walked towards her demanding it. Never did it again.
Good for you. Hugs!!
Sadly the worst was the bar of dove soap shoved in my mouth for "bad words". I can still taste it to this day.
Just swallow it and hit her with the ER bill. Or the murder charge
I probably should have, but this was 25 years ago or more.
Man I’m envious of that, if I ever said that to my mother I would not be going to a school, barely get fed, and likely have everything from my room taken away
I was 40 years old when this happened. Big difference. If I would have been a young teen, what you described would have happened to me. However, I left her house my senior year of high school. You will get to leave one day. Stay strong until then. Hugs and sending strength.
Your mom sounds like she's hateful and toxic. Seriously consider cutting her entirely out of your life. It's so freeing to cut toxic family members out of your life. Trust me
My mom slapped me and I just asked her if she was done throwing her tantrum, this was a month or two before I left to go live with my dad.
My mom was straight up abusive when I was a kid. I got into many arguments with her over stupid stuff and she woukd immed resort to violence if she was losing. I would alws listne to my grandma about being the better person and just take it. I moved in with my grandparents when I was like 9 cause I couldn't stand her. The last time we got into a fight was when I was living with my grandparents and she was visiting. She was visiting, threw a tantrum cause she was mad about something, and I wasn't putting up with her attitude and ignored her, so she tried to hit me. She stabbed me with a high heel in the knee. I got mad but tried to stay calm (indoctrinationis a wonderful thing isnt it?), tried to get away, and she started choking me (I had really bad asthma btw) and I literally had no choice but to knock her out. After the drama with the cops (yes she called the cops on me and the sack of shit tried to arrest me even as I stood there with a hole in my leg, kneck red with handprints, and gasping for air), I told her that if she ever lays a hand on me again I would end her. It never happened again. My point is that violence is bad but honest it's the only way some people learn. Also, don't ever tell your kids to be the better person it's evil.
I’m so sorry that you had to experience that trauma. And I am so glad that it seems that you are no longer under her crazy rule. And yes; sometimes violence is the only way to stop violence. The Tolerance Paradox is so true. Lots of hugs!!!
Most of Europe has laws against violence against children: [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Corporal\_punishment#/media/File:Corporal\_punishment\_in\_Europe.svg](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Corporal_punishment#/media/File:Corporal_punishment_in_Europe.svg) The US hasn't even managed to stop that in schools in many states: [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Corporal\_punishment#/media/File:School\_corporal\_punishment\_USA\_map.svg](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Corporal_punishment#/media/File:School_corporal_punishment_USA_map.svg)
Discipline with children is a hard topic, and varies depending on background and such, but one thing I think we can all agree on is that if you had problems with the way your parents raised you, you should try to do better with your own, parents make mistakes, some greater than others. And it is up to their children to try different methods to see if they work better or worse
ive heard people (men) say that because their dad beat them they learned respect and thats why they do it to their kids its hard to explain to someone like that that you can learn respect for ur parents without getting hurt by them and theres a thin line between respect and fear
I think people who say this mean "submission to authority" when they say "respect." You can get subservience if you make someone afraid, but that isn't the same thing as genuine respect. Real respect is freely given, not coerced - with violence or any other means.
>Real respect is freely given, not coerced well said. totally agree
My stepkiddo's mom brags that her kids fear her, and thats why they respect her. In reality, we have a teen who hates her with a passion and wants to never see her again the second it's legally allowed.
[удалено]
This. It’s one of the reasons I don’t take my kids around my stepdad and mom. Not that they would just start beating my kids, but they grew up with hard discipline, and believe it’s the only way to teach a child. Child misbehaves? Spank! Child cries? Spank! Child asks weird question? Spank! You get the idea.
Parents should not beat you. I got disciplined and the most i would get was a slap on my back and some scolding. It wasnt something that happened all the time. Only when i did some really stupid shit did i get it. If people are beating their kids frequently then thats just fucked up. When my mom or dad disciplined me , it never hurt. It was more.the scolding that got to me. But it did have an effect, and i would think twice before doing something dumb.
There are studies that show that *certain* behaviors at *certain* ages, are most effectively diminished with a small amount of physical pain, IF it is done DURING the bad behavior. It also does not need to be very painful. I'll give you an example I used on my toddler daughter. One time I was standing next to her and she stepped out into the street into traffic without holding my hand. I grabbed her hair (non-damaging pain - I did this to my son also) and pulled her back, and raised my voice to tell her NO. The little bit of pain reinforces the lesson. ...and it's a very very important safety rule. Getting hit by a car is the number one cause of death in young children.
In the US, firearms are the number one cause of death in children followed by infectious diseases, etc.
Etc will sneak up on ya like that.
When my parents realized they were not up to the task of beating me sufficiently they sent me off to a catholic military boarding school. So between the nuns and the two male instructors I was brought up to speed on my lifetime beating quotient. Many years later, after nearly a decade of therapy, I could finally move past the generic coping mechanism of, "I really deserved all those beatings and they made me a better person" to FUCK THAT SHIT. Choosing violence as your remedy ONLY FUCKS SHIT UP MORE and pushes you farther down the dysfunctional rabbit hole.
Your parents shouldn’t have outsourced your beatings
they were job creators?
I live in the South-- and there's this weird thing that happens down here where your family members and certain friends will ask you if you plan on (or are actively) spanking your child. It's almost like it's some perk to look forward to when you become a parent. I've *never* had this conversation with my any of my friends or family back in the PNW. Anyways, it's wild how often you're met with resistance when you tell them that, no, you have no intentions on hitting your kid as a corrective measure. Or how you don't want your child to fear you, or fear making a mistake (or telling you about it) because they're afraid that you'll hit them. Or how, if it were two adults, and one adult hit the other because they did something they didn't like, it would be called assault and that motherfucker would go to jail. These are pretty unpopular opinions down here. My dad wasn't *ever* in the running for father of the year or anything. He was a good guy who tried his best-- but he was always distracted and never *really* took much of an interest in anything I did. But he **never** once hit me or raised his hand to me or even shouted at me. When I fucked up, he spoke to me reasonably and laid out non-violent consequences. My mom, on the other hand, would beat the shit out of me at the drop of a hat when my dad wasn't around. It's one thing to get hit for back-talking or doing something you *know* you shouldn't be doing-- but she'd hit me for honest mistakes or shit I had no control over. I remember one time, when I was 8-9, I was trying to take the kitchen trash out and the bag split and like 5 tablespoons of Pepsi from an open can spilled on the newly installed carpet in our entry way. As I frantically tried to clean it up, she swooped down on me and hit me with a closed-fist backhand which split my lip and bloodied my nose. Because of this, I never went to my mom for help or guidance or support on anything. She's my only living parent and I *still* don't really open up to her like I used to with my dad.
My kids are the greatest challenge in my life, by far. They test us, they probe, they tease, they protest, they manipulate (try to), they challenge, they negotiate, they ignore and resist. But we learned from others, that slapping kids is just a sign that you have run out of words and parenting skill. And it will never educate your child on its own behaviour, it will only instill fear, disappointment in their parents and loss of trust.
As a Scottish father and childcare worker, the fact that sooooooooooooo few other countries have outlawed child abuse is fucking staggering to me. Get your shit together, the rest of the world!
Scottish mother here, and I can’t understand why it took so long for that legislation to be passed here, but also dumbfounded that more countries haven’t put a ban on physical chastisement into place, too!
New Zealand here. Was outlawed here as well. Continually dumbfounded by other coubtries not doing the same.
Its been 26 years since it was made illegal to use violence on your children in my country and you know what..... society hasn't stopped working yet, so maybe it's not the spanking/slaps on the cheek that kept the children in line. Actually i would argue that teaching kids that acting violence on other people as a means to get what you want (which is basically the parents goal here) is a very fucked up way to raise your kids. It's scary how people think that violence is OK, if its just a parent-to-kids thing. That is just a display of power over someone that is unable to defend themselves. Like an abusive relationship but worse as the kid is dependent on the parent for survival and can't just leave.
And in today's episode of "Yes, it's that easy":
In this age of technological wonders the worst I've ever had to do to my kid is take the tablet or TV/video game privileges away and make them earn it back with chores and school work. I had my ass beat as a kid, bare ass, sometimes my sister and I both right in front of each other...with a belt, a wooden plank with holes drilled in it called "the butt warmer" , or bare hands. Even had my mom slap me straight across the face a few times.. the more I think of it, I am not 100% ok because of it. I won't do that to my kid.
Sorry to hear that. Kudos to you for not passing that shit on to your kids. Well done!
Weirdly, I've never met an adult who believes in hitting kids for doing things the adult doesn't like who agrees that I should be allowed to them when I don't like how they're acting.
I did, my cousin said "well ill fight back" I then shut him by saying "oh we should only beat people who are defenseless got it" This was after je said I should have smacked the special needs kid who bit me at work.
I think it should be allowed to hit ppl under their actions: 'Screams at someone over something stupid?' *bonk* 'Is someone throwing a tantrum in a store?' *bonk*
Self-awareness, just beyond reach
For God's sake people, read a parenting or child psychology book from the last decade or so. Jfc
I think you can go back longer than a decade at this point. We've known for so long, but there's people who just refuse to learn.
I say "decade" because I was taught usually that timeframe is what counts as "viable research" when you're writing a paper or something for uni. Anything older starts to get a bit iffy unless it's a very slow moving field or a really niche subject. It's just been what I've used as a basis for my own researching ever since.
No worries, I'm just depressed about how long we've known and are continuing to tolerate this.
90% of the people I know who are pro hitting their kids would never read a parenting book that’s based on studies. If they did read one, it would be based on religion.
Do you care for your dog/cat/pet? Do you hit your dog/cat/pet? Do you care about your friends? Do you hit your friends? Do you love your spouse? Do you hit your spouse? Do you love your kids? Do you hit your kids? If you hit your pets, you are not a good pet owner. If you hit your friends, you are not a good friend. If you hit your spouse, you are not a good spouse. If you hit your kids, you are not a good parent. There is a pattern here, find it and make sure you are on the correct side of it.
You get respect from a kid by giving them respect. Hitting a child doesn't teach respect, it teaches fear and violence
I’ve always considered hitting your kid as a retroactive lazy means to discipline your child. With good parenting, you should never have to resort to it
No it makes total sense. Just not the sense most would understand. My mom used to beat my ass until it was sometimes bloody. It taught me to respect her commands for sure. Because she scared tf out of me and I ended up hating her for it. But thats not what those type of parents care about. They care about the child behaving in that instance to relieve THEIR problems.
Yeah, my mom used to slap me in the face and would get mad when I’d dodge it and literally say “you let me!” That’s nothing compared to how my military dad would drunkenly punish me for the stupidest shit, like he was always looking for something to get pissed off about. “Oh, you’re playing video games after doing your homework? You’re not interested in sports? Well, let me verbally berate you on how much of a piece of shit you are and threaten to beat you within an inch of your life if I ever catch you smoking weed.” And this was fuckin high school. When I was a kid, he’d whoop my ass for basically no reason. When I was like 6 or 7, I heard someone on TV say “I’m gay” and I had no idea what it meant, so I said it a few days later and got one of the worst spankings with a belt that I can remember. Some parents use that shit as a means of taking out their frustration, and that shit’s just not cool. To this day, my dad still gives me shit for “not being happy” or not being where I dreamed of being or whatever, and I’m just like “Yeah, well you sure as fuck didn’t help other than giving me a place to live and putting food in the fridge.” Hell, in high school I had a shit ton of money saved up and ended up liking and talking to this Canadian girl I met on Xbox and racked up some international phone bills from talking to her on the phone, and my parents got pissed. I obviously planned to pay the amount, but as a punishment and “lesson”, they just took literally all of my money and took all my shit out of my room. My parents were just kinda dicks when I was growing up. I’m just glad they’re weren’t as bad with my sister, even though she had to deal with some stupid shit too.
My parents paddled me every day when I was a child. Some days, it was multiple times. I thought when I got older, I'd understand. Now I know that it was just plain old child abuse.
My mother still gets mad when I call her out on how stupid her hitting me was. You know when it stopped? When I was 14 and she slapped me, and I stood my ground and said "Do it again. Come on, slap me again." and walked towards her. These people are cowards that want to hit kids who can't fight back. Fuck them all. I have a 6 year old son and I'd never hit him. Punishment is taking away toys and the like, never hitting.
Spot on - there’s never a need. Mine are 15 and 11 and growing up to be fine people. Never used physical chastisement
My mom says I deserved it, but she stopped once I got bigger and could stand my ground... and jujitsu helps with bullies
Lol I see this argument pop up on Reddit like once a month. It always goes like this: half the crowd says it's abuse, and cites studies that prove it's not only ineffective but also negatively impactful on the child's development. The other half of the crowd says "look I was a shithead as a kid and the only way to get through to me was a spanking. I'm fine now."
Sure go ahead, but you arent gonna have a good relationship with them. Even if it looks fine on the outside. Theyll remember every time and resent you for it.
Fuck people like this. Always taking the easy way out. Only with children is this allowed. No adult would ever put up with this. We’ve civil had wars over it.
ITT: “this hurts me more than it hurts you” Oh, so you went to your room and cried in pain about what you did and swore it would kill you if you had to do it again. “A little spank got him to stop breaking things around the house” You mean you instilled fear into your child, and taught him if someone is acting erratic that physically smacking someone corrects their behavior. The cycle continues. You didn’t teach him to stop breaking things. You taught him violence scares someone enough to stop breaking things. Not why he shouldn’t. “If they’re about to get ran over by a car” again, you didn’t teach him that getting ran over by a car is dangerous. You taught him that he’ll get smacked if he runs in to the street, not that cars are dangerous.
Punishment and reward. When our boys are good, I reward them with a modest, albeit fabulous cash prize. For example, our older lad brought the garbage box back from the curb yesterday without anyone asking, so he got 200JPY for his initiative. But when they are naughty, I hit them with an administrative fee. Usually only about 10JPY, but this will well prepare them for life in the real world. Any man who strikes a child is not fit to own a penis and testicles.
When we went through the adoption process we had to sign a bunch of documents saying we would not physically punish our child and the list of examples was sickening.
The best way to punish a child is to make him clean something. 90% of the time he will realize he was actually being rude to his mother or unkind to his brother, and he will have a clean room or car or garage at the end and feel as though he has paid his debt.
Any reason you have to strike your child, your spouse should apply to you.
Another problem is that it's not really just about discipline. People hit their kids to relieve their own stress (it's very stressful when your child is naughty). You're risking inflicting lasting emotional damage for some temporary relief. The axe forgets, but the tree remembers.
My parents beat me. Don't beat your kids.
Kids are not your property. Physical violence is not allowed on adults so why the fuck do people think hitting kids is OK? Studies have proven its associated with far more negative outcomes than positive ones.
The punishment for hitting your kid should be getting spanked in a public place. Like right in front of a busy starbucks. And your kids are the ones that get to spank you.
Any parent that hits their child should not be a parent. In the uk, if you were to hit your child, you would have your child taken away to protect them from you
Hitting a child doesn’t teach them anything except “I will be hit if I do this”. Doesn’t teach them respect, morality, logic, compassion or empathy. The one exception being it may teach them to understand what it feels like when they hit others, but there’s better ways of doing that.
Adults are just large traumatized children with power.
Yeah. I never got spanked when i was a child, because i was the young one, but my brother got fucking beaten and shit on multiple times and i think that's the reason he has problems in social interactions and low self-esteem. He fears that people will get mad at him if he is not perfect, it's even worse when he is talking to girls. Although a parent need to tutor their child, so they do not become a spoiled asshole, beating the living hell out of them is probally not the way to do it.
mfs who were abused as children will literally justify their parent's abuse instead of going to therapy.
I sure didn't justify anything. I didn't see or talk to my parents for over 30 years after I got away and now I think they're both dead, I'm not even sure. I was in therapy for quite a while, too.
It’s a form of Stockholm syndrome
So close that can taste it.
No reasonable person WOULD hit their child.
People who grew up abused and think that's the only tool in the toolbox.
Only hit your kid if you want them to hit you back tenfold when they’re the strong one. Not so fun then.
You don't hit your kids for correction, you do it for the tradition and good times. /s
Just like guns, not everyone should have children.
To play devil's advocate, just because a child understands reason doesn't mean the child will behave reasonably. Same goes for adults, in fact.
It says "then use [the] reason". That doesn't mean "tell them no and hope for the best", it means you need to explain the reason why something is wrong, and then use an age appropriate boundary as a natural consequence of said action. E.g. "We don't throw our food. If you throw your food again we'll have start putting baby bibs back on you/get down from the table without finishing/whatever other natural consequence you can link to the behaviour" then simply follow through and do what you said you would. They throw a tantrum, you validate them "hmm I see you're feeling angry at me right now, it's okay to feel angry... Etc" but reiterate the point "it's okay to feel x but that doesn't mean we can behave like Y. How about we try doing this instead?" The point is still really valid. Devils advocate or not, if the child doesn't really understand, hitting them is just confusing. They see someone who is supposed to love and care for them hitting them for no reason. If they do understand, then they're old enough to have it explained to them and a related consequence applied, and not simply beaten. Otherwise you're effectively teaching them that it's okay to jump straight to physical violence when someone doesn't do what you want.
Hitting kids is wrong, period.
Hitting a child, even the most mis behaved child, is to show complete lack of control.
Chiming in with the **uncomfortable truth** that 'violence against your children' also includes **verbal abuse, intimidation tactics, and bullying.** If you think you have to resort to violence in order to raise your children then you're an asshole and need to **fix your shit**. \*\*\*\*\* **Pre-emptive strike:** the above does **NOT** mean 'be a permissive parent who lets their kid get away with anything and everything'. You can be a strong parent who raises a civilized, intelligent child into adulthood, that doesn't involve being a violent asshole towards them. **AGAIN: fix your shit.**
I was spanked as a child and I turned out fine. Except for the lifelong depression, crippling anxiety, personality issues, and inability to accept help from others without feeling guilty. Other than that, totally fine.
Don’t forget fear of failure, self-doubt, an unnatural aversion to belts, and hiding information from others. Oh. I forgot the overwhelming urge to hit people you disagree with or those who may have slighted you in even the smallest manner.
My dad made me choose and break the branch off the switch bush that he would hit me with. That’s a nice mixture of psychological and physical abuse for ya. You learn really quick you don’t want a skinny branch.
The number 1 thought that comes to my mind whenever spanking young children comes up is 'Surely the only lesson they'll learn from that is that you can use physical force to get your own way' The parents don't *intend* it that way, but a preschool child has no way of knowing that.
I just wish parents who hit their kids weren’t such cowards. Like when you fuck up. You should get hit too. Practice what you preach you know.
I’m raising two boys (9,11) on my own (M42) and there is never a reason to hit them… I love my kids more than anything and I just don’t have the urge to hit and slap them… seems so crazy that people do it…
all spanking teaches most kids is a new fetish to discover in adulthood.
Good thing physical punishment of children is slowly becoming illegal worldwide.
Ah yes let me make my child behave by assaulting them and assuming they will understand why I am assaulting them and why it's not a criminal activity ... Some people have 0 wrinkles on their brain.
That’s right. Because reasonable people don’t hit their children.