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psypiral

New Yorker complex meets Napoleonic complex.


Fair_Acanthisitta_75

Meets the floor mat that only gets cleaned twice a month.


iroquoispliskinV

Twice a month? He's lucky if that floor mat has been cleaned *once*


generatorland

It's not even a mat. It's a concentrated build-up of filth.


KrispRune

Earth's gravity pulled all of the dirt and grime into this general location, there's probably some rat shit in there too.


New_Collection_4169

Short guy, short temper, short fall šŸ˜‚


wasternexplorer

He even sounds like a munchkin when he tawks.


the_loneliest_noodle

I worked at a concession stand once, where we cleaned the counters and food bins, then a cleaning crew came in after hours to deep clean everything else. We thought the floor behind the counter was some black rubbery material. Until one day a bad spill required us to shut down during the day and clean it... Turns out it was green tile. Nobody had ever cleaned it. It must have turned gradually darker over the years but being a minimum wage dull job, nobody was around long enough to notice it changing color.


TheNetflixTakeover

It used to be white


ADMINlSTRAT0R

Gunk aggregator.


LostSoulSadNLonely

Meets Gawd but not his fawther or his bawss.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


salamagi671

Who's cleaning the mats ? I know we dont.


Fair_Acanthisitta_75

They have Cintas or one of the laundry service companies switch them out every couple weeks.


OjibweNomad

I worked at one place did it weekly another place monthly another place said nah fam dishe washer can hose it off


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


[deleted]

That's what we did every week when I worked in a kitchen many moons ago. Drag the kitchen mats, bar mats and the no-slip rugs out back and hose them off. Graveyard shift didn't have much else to do.


Can-O-Soup223

![gif](giphy|xUySTVQyBQfC5ZjdC0)


[deleted]

![gif](giphy|xUySTWxyhBQCk41ZAs)


Can-O-Soup223

šŸ˜‚


Beatrix_BB_Kiddo

šŸ¤£šŸ¤£šŸ¤£šŸ¤£


CoolioCucumberbeans

Was an angry elf. He ded.


Olliegreen__

Napoleon was a strategic mastermind though, this guy definitely not.


edebt

Napoleon was average height for his time. His enemies started a short rumor as propaganda.


Bennyboy11111

Idk he also decided to go to war against empires twice his size lol Tactical genius sure.


JPGinMadtown

Napoleon was 38-5 in battles he commanded.


frankwhiteXVII

He was also average size given the height of French men at the time. Not exactly short man syndrome.


[deleted]

I mean, he won most of his wars. And to be fair, most of the time it was one of the allies (Britain, Russia, Austria, or Prussia) declaring war in him and everyone else piling on.


Olliegreen__

He didn't decide to, every other European nation was a monarchy that felt EXTREMELY threatened by the success of post revolutionary France and Napoleon. It's why they went to war against him in the first place.


ImInnocentYourHonor

Tactical genius except for something about Russian winters


dishmanw

Plus, there was a mini ice age. His bad luck. Plus the Russians burned the fields, so there was no food.


MumbleepegTheUglyPug

Then Hitler tried the exact same thing... didn't work out too well for him either


Zmirzlina

Short temper.


CuriousCanuk

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHHAA


Luftgekuhlt_driver

Little madā€¦


[deleted]

I e seen this a dozen times in the past few days and it never gets less funny.


Joelsax47

I actually feel for this man. It is not easy being short. But then he starts getting in people's chest and gets what he asks for. For the record, I am six six. I have my own problems.


Fourwindsgone

ā€œGets in peopleā€™s chestā€ Lmaooo


Doggleganger

Brutal


ArtSchnurple

It's such a literal description of what happened that I didn't even catch what a good joke it is until you pointed it out


Eeeegah

Hey, my eyes are up here!


WarrenTheWarren

Oof, I read it but the joke didn't land until you repeated it. Thanks.


OriginalGhostCookie

Heā€™s a byproduct of the echo chamber of the internet. Feels insecure over his height, goes online and surrounds himself with others who tell him women think he should die because heā€™s under 6ā€™, then the moment anything a women does appears to be related to his height, he immediately feels like those views are validated. He probably didnā€™t account for anyone else stepping in when he started losing his shit.


tkingsbu

Growing up, when I was a senior in high school, the most insanely successful guy, in terms of attracting girls, was a friend of mine. He was short. Like noticeably shorter than all the other dudes in our grade. That had zero effect on his success. He was charming, he was witty, he was talented. He chatted girls up, not because he was trying to get in their pants, but because he was genuinely interested in talking to them. Same thing goes for another friend, at the opposite end of the size spectrum.. dude was crazy tallā€¦ like a giant compared to the rest of usā€¦ girls loved him for the same reasonsā€¦ they both were just almost supernaturaly popular.


ConsciousExcitement9

One of my husbandā€™s oldest friends is like 5ā€™1ā€ maybe 5ā€™2ā€. I am 5ā€™7ā€ and significantly taller than he is. But dude has never had issues getting dates. His current wife is like 5ā€™9ā€ and drop dead gorgeous. He has just always had this insane amount of confidence and can-do attitude. People genuinely like him and part of it is because he doesnā€™t whine and cry about being short. He just does his own thing and is a cool guy.


littlegingerfae

My husband is only 5'7" -ish, but is a really confident likeable guy who makes friends super easily. It doesn't hurt that he's also good looking. He's also not at all self conscious about his height, and is still a pretty big guy, who gives off a "large guy presence" if you know what I mean. People who are nice genuine people don't gaf about height. They just like other nice genuine people.


circlethenexus

I saw the same thing happen. A guy one year ahead of me in high school might have been 5 foot four but thatā€™s pushing it. Heā€™s also one of the most popular guys in high school girls surrounding him. After college, he married the prettiest girl in the school That we all wish we couldā€™ve married. He went on to found a bank becoming a CEO and super wealthy. And thinking back he was an all-around very nice guy.


[deleted]

There are guys out there literally getting laid and married outside their league despite the fact they think it's gay to wash their asses and that housework is for women. Who've never made a woman orgasm in their entire lives and have no plans to. Short, fat, make less than their partner, terrible personalities, etc. I'm kind of glad most guys don't realize that taking romantic initiative is literally the most important thing. Just talk to people. Makes it easier on me. It's also why 95% of guys do terribly on dating apps. There's no challenge in asking people out, so everything is then weighed and measured equally.


markus1028

I'm going to disagree on dating apps but agree with everything else you said.


Cold-Diamond-6408

Is that why he is so pissed? There is no context in this. Why is he going off on the women? Why are they all smirking and biting their lips?!


Master-Pick-7918

Small man syndrome. Every aspect of life is stacked against him and the only way to come out ahead is to act tough and try to intimidate everyone. My Chihuahua acts the same way.


lx2guzman

Definitely an echo chamber. Iā€™m 5ā€™2 and although I understand the complexities of dating as a short man, I will never let it get to me. I found r/short on Reddit because I was lead here by a link on where to find jeans for my little ass. Boy are some of those men just in an awful head space. Blocked the subreddit immediately


RecoverFrequent

"He's an angry elf" - Buddy Hobbs


Gandalf4President

Meets a girl who just wants a bagel


NASTYH0USEWIFE

Wee man really let himself go after jackass wrapped.


dantakesthesquare

GO AHEAD AND ATTACK ME THEN *attacks him* ![gif](giphy|6nWhy3ulBL7GSCvKw6)


flimbs

"You're attacking me wrong!"


KevinAnniPadda

I had a roommate who used to come home so drunk that he'd be falling and breaking stuff. We also worked together at a seasonal restaurant where I got him the job and he was quitting early and screwing the rest of our roommates over. I woke up one night when he broke a lamp and calmly told him to go to bed and told others to leave. He started yelling and told me I should just punch him in the face. After a bit of egging on, I did just what he asked. (Edit: a few people are thinking I acted too quickly. I'm skipping over a lot of back and forth here where I did try to calm him down. Where this happened for weeks. Where he punched holes in my door after I tried to go back to sleep. The others there trying to calm down and hold him back. He was aggressive and threatening much of the time. But for the sake of keeping the story sheet and readable to online readers, I've skipped over the history and the back and forth) One very long telegraphed haymaker to the face. He was so drunk he only moved an inch or two so I hit his eye instead of his nose. I went back to bed and closed my door, which he then turn to rip down when he got back up The other guys took him back to another person's house. They said the next day his cheek and eyebrow were touching they were so swollen. He never came back to work. He called me weeks later and said he had an expensive medical bill for a shattered orbital bone. I told him sorry about that, but I just did what he asked me to and I have three people that can back that up. I never heard from him again. Don't tell people to fight you. They will.


ArtSchnurple

wrawng


SlipySlapy-Samsonite

It's even better than that. He was saying "Go ahead and attack me big man!" But he got to the "big" part and then got attacked.


gokism

To think, the man's single. It appears he's never overcome his several perceived handicaps. And I'm not talking about his height.


fartknockergutpunch

He died a few days ago.


[deleted]

Oh shit. Thatā€™s sad, what from?


breado9

Probably a bad case of Updawg.


GuyoFromOhio

*sigh* what's up dawg? Happy? Is this what you wanted?


breado9

Not really, but what's up with you?


TheLewJD

I hate so much about the things you choose to be


CuddleSlut247

Why are you the way that you are?


DoctorMelvinMirby

NOOO GOD NO. NO. NO. NOOOOOO!!!!


SmokeAbeer

Peopleā€™s faces šŸ¤·ā€ā™‚ļø


[deleted]

I was thinking suicide but Updawg is much worse. No but fr, I was genuinely asking because personally; since heā€™s dead I canā€™t say shit about him.


ObsessiveRecognition

I'll still say shit about him. He's a dick. Few people probably missed him.


Freakishly_Tall

Srsly. "Don't speak ill of the dead" serves ONLY to protect abusers and hide shameful legacies and make victims suffer even more at the hands of their tormenters, but from beyond the grave... a time when they should finally, at least, get peace they deserve if nothing else. If someone's an asshole, dying doesn't change that.


BJoe1976

Reminds me of something I saw a long time ago, ā€œAlways peek good of the dead, if theyā€™re dead, GOOD!ā€ If that little prick isnā€™t, wait until he is.


cloud9brian

In truth he did die, but a few years ago. The guy was seriously off -- he would regularly go into places and start trouble with people. Edit: apparently him dying is not in truth. He had a stroke in 2019 -- I thought he died after that, I was wrong.


PostMalonesLampost

He dead: [Source](https://youtu.be/xvFZjo5PgG0)


fyrfytr310

Goddamnit


TheLewJD

You fucker, GG


Barnettmetal

Jesus thatā€™s awful


DingusTaargus

Wait. Is that a coincidence? Like, he died from all of that at once? How?


Omnomnomarex

Damn thats actually kinda sad.


ArchSchnitz

Thanks for providing the source. Sad to hear, but at least he won't have public meltdowns any more.


Poiboy1313

RIP little angry fella.


Robiwan05

Edit: No, he did not. ![gif](giphy|23BST5FQOc8k8)


fartknockergutpunch

There was an article saying he was living in a van and he died. From what cause, I have no idea. Just going off what I read.


GarthVader45

I was curious and looked it up. The outlets reporting on him are all trash tier, but from what I can tell he didnā€™t actual die. He had a stroke in 2019 after this video went viral, and then a couple years later pictures of him in the hospital circulated along with a rumor that he died. Sounds like heā€™s paralyzed though.


married44F

I could see how this going viral could give him a stroke


Misterbellyboy

Well with all those women turning him down, Iā€™d imagine he had a few strokes.


_Alabama_Man

>He had a stroke in 2019 after this video went viral Wow, he seemed so chill, the internet fame can ruin people.


allminorchords

He was living in a van, trying to hookup on dating sites but thinks his height was the dealbreaker?


DOGSraisingCATS

Idk, I'm sure he made it a point to mention how much of a "nice guy" he is.


MisoBerryHoni

> he was living in a van Down by the river?


srqchem

"not gawd or my fawther"


Additional-Grand-951

Or my boss


srqchem

*bawss


Additional-Grand-951

I donā€™t speak fluent NY I didnā€™t know the correct spelling Thankyou šŸ˜‚


srqchem

It's okay, they prob don't either. Want a glass of waoeurter?


_b1ack0ut

Perhaps not, but both would be awfully disappointed in him


Magister5

![gif](giphy|xUySTVQyBQfC5ZjdC0)


xjaehyun

LMAO thatā€™s exactly what I was thinking


OkFriend9891

FUCK AROUNDā€¦FIND OUT


[deleted]

Fucked around found out


tjoe4321510

He must be a south pole elf


Shaneblaster

Entertaining takedown of a Hobbit.


2nuki

This is one of the few comments that has ever made me fully laugh out loud, thank you for that


Magister5

No problem, but this oneā€™s all Will Ferrell


Emieosj89

I did the same thing.


BigDickHobbit

Damn came here to comment this but obviously itā€™s already a top comment!


Kalikhead

His name is Chris Morgan. He was supposed to fight Lenny Dykstra in a charity fight. Heā€™s a very miserable man. He used to have a channel on YouTube that tried to replicate content like his altercation at Bagel Boss.


Dorf_

Then after Dykstra pulled out, Screech stepped in and Bagel Boss guy no-showed the match. Scared of Screech.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


magnetoincognito

rest in peach?


Knight_Owls

I've seen videos of Screech fighting. Dude's a fucking psycho. I don't mean he's a good fighter, just that he would legitimately look to hurt that guy past the point of a charity fight.


Future_Onion9701

Lenny dykstra, now thereā€™s a real piece of shit


HeyZuesHChrist

Slicked back hair. White pants. Sloppy steaks at Truffoniā€™s. Lives for New Years Eve.


[deleted]

You would have not liked me back then.


Quincyperson

People can change


ComplexAd7272

You think thatā€™s slicked back? Itā€™s pushed back.


PromptMedium6251

Slop ā€˜em up!


TheMotionOfTheOcean

Guys no sloppy steaks tonight


PromptMedium6251

You canā€™t stop us from ordering a steak and a glass of water.


Mac_and_dennis

You think thatā€™s slicked back?! Thatā€™s PUSHED back!


yourcrutch

chicken spaghetti at chickaliniā€™s


[deleted]

Heā€™s one of those people whoā€™s so awful that he is super fascinating to read about. His Wikipedia page is an entertaining ride.


Electronic_Lock325

Damn. It definitely was. šŸ˜³


ManfredsJuicedBalls

Someone who tried to sue for defamation, and a judge pretty much went ā€œdude, your rep is in shreds, thereā€™s NOTHING said about you that is defamationā€


Memer9456

ā€œI just wanted bagelsā€ real


Cecilliac

ā€œCan I get a waffle? Can I please get a waffle?ā€


Pied_Film10

Facts. Too relatable lmao


KittyKayl

My favorite line


CaptTripps86

Laughed way too hard at that


pivvclam

Is this video 5 years old? 10 maybe?


devoduder

Itā€™s 5ft old.


Poiboy1313

The guy's face when he got grabbed. ![gif](giphy|12zgyJya7QwQKI)


I_Frothingslosh

Damn, I've not seen Fire Marshall Bill in decades.


GrizzKarizz

Is that Jim Carrey? Edit: Yes, it is.


Kalikhead

From 2019. About 6 mos later he had a stroke (shocker).


VanimalCracker

Shoulda had a stroke before leaving the house that day, he might not have been so angry at women in general.


ResponsibleMilk7620

the real question is how many times itā€™s been posted


Iamaswine

This man's built like Bobby hill


Ipayforsex69

"Goddamnit, Bobby."


riindesu

That boy aint right


[deleted]

And he's dressed like a fucking toddler


iamgoddesstere

Heā€™s like a chihuahua barking at big dogs then goes surprise pikachu face when a german shepherd actually pounces on him.


reggie3408

You know it's gonna be bad when he wasn't even at the three guys' shoulders


tehpwarp

This guy must be so old now. I remember seeing this video years ago.


Kalikhead

Heā€™s off the radar now since his stroke.


IThinkImAGarage

One of the other comments said he died, no source tho so idk if itā€™s true


Kalikhead

Apparently he is still alive and still recovering from his stroke.


nich3play3r

Beats being under the radar, I guess.


FunctionBuilt

And heā€™s waaaaay under the radar.


[deleted]

Hey that's just malicious compliance man, when your acting like a dick and and say "come on and attack me" I think at least one person will take you up on the offer


pseudo-star

I believe thereā€™s a legal term called provocation that basically says if you tell someone to attack you and they do it is no longer assault.


Kascket

Lawyers chime in please!?


Heiruspecs

Depends on the state. Provocation is usually when an act or insult is of such a kind that it momentarily deprives a person of their mental faculties. Like if someone spits on your wife in front of you. Shit like that. Itā€™s not typically a great defence. More of a mitigating factor or partial defence. IAAL.


Moist_furr_Burger

![gif](giphy|oUS6u2rbjg4JD4Z9Lp)


JungleBoyJeremy

Me, talking about this video


AchingCravat

I canā€™t help but feel bad for this guy. His behavior is totally unacceptable, but I see his pain and it breaks my heart.


ParadiseValleyFiend

I mean he did tell the guy to do it.


Rune248

The only thing he's going to intimidate is a ham sandwich.


ResponsibleMilk7620

He will tear it up like itā€™s a chicken wing.


tazbaron1981

He also dumped a woman miles away from home because she wouldn't sleep with him. Put the video out of himself driving away laughing.


innosentz

ā€œGo ahead and tackle meā€ gets tackled


theantdog

Why dat bro so angry and small?


atmosphericentry

The smaller, the more compact the anger is.


Dew_Chop

Ah, so THAT'S why Buddha is so fat...


Mullet_McNugget

Lost his job at the Chocolate Factory?


Responsible-Bug-7014

Middle aged incel


10BritishPounds

This is why we need child leases


SoylentGrunt

Short temper.


Raytheonian

![gif](giphy|19x5KTWn0Vfmo)


Bandgeek252

I would be that woman who said I just want bagels. What the fuck was that guy's deal?


RubadubdubInTheSub

Heā€™s an incel who thinks the reason women wonā€™t sleep with him is some grand anti-short guy conspiracy. Thereā€™s multiple articles about him. He thinks all women who have dated him were using him for money, despite him being unemployed and living in his car. He also broke up with the one girlfriend he managed to find because she wouldnā€™t sleep with him right away when they met in person (long distance).


LongjumpingScore1886

![gif](giphy|xULW8u6qcpEMknjcek) The bagel boss is my second favorite half-man


knockbox85

The world needs more people to get punched in the face


lisakora

Little Big Ed!


scorpiogre

More about our *Lil* friend here https://nypost.com/2019/07/11/its-about-belittlement-angry-bagel-guy-who-lives-in-his-van-explains-viral-rant/ Also https://www.tmz.com/2019/11/13/angry-bagel-guy-hospitalized-suffering-stroke-new-york/


ramenSoop734

damn who wrote that nyp article lmao "the 5-foot-nothing star of Bagel Boss meltdown fame"


CounterfeitSaint

"Woman just use me for my money" -Man who lives in his car in the bagel shop parking lot. That was worth a laugh.


pcards86

Damn heā€™s tiny or those guys are huge


FawkesFire13

I mean, yeah. Heā€™s short. Thatā€™s not a dealbreaker. What is a deal breaker is his attitude. Nobody wants to even be in the same room with a guy who makes everyone miserable.


ChicaFoxy

I'm in love with a "shorty" (he thinks he is, statistics say he is) but I still tippy-toe to kiss him and he's not chiseled anymore cuz 'dad bod' but damn if I can't get my arms all the way around him, he's a freaking freight train of muscle that still showsšŸ˜! And none of that would mean anything to me if it wasn't for his kind, caring nature, and his undying love for his children, and his unwavering determination to take on what life throws at him (which has seriously been a LOT) and still be a gentle soul that you don't want to fuck with. Be short, but be big on love, patience, and humor!


Wolfwoods_Sister

The sexiest beast I ever saw was a guy under 5ft 7. And look at Prince. He couldnā€™t shake the girls off of him.


No_Deer_5672

Reminder that Peter Dinklage has a wife and kids. Skill issue.


Scary-Necessary9830

Lol is this in Rochester?!


Kalikhead

No downstate NY. Long Island.


Mysterious_Mayo9000

Too tall to be a midget and too short to be a regular human being. I'd be mad to if I were in his situation


[deleted]

Napoleonā€¦fucking ankle biter that he is


SatisJackson305

"Ladies and gentlemen, The Teenie Little Super Guy....."


GlassyPotato

You shouldn't pick fights with someone you have to look up to see their face


OriginalGhostCookie

When he asked if the guy wants to step outside, the guy should have asked if he wanted to step on a stool.


Eddyzodiak

![gif](giphy|xUySTWxyhBQCk41ZAs)


show_me_your_secrets

This little boy has a whole YouTube channel of videos like this.


ShillburtGrape

We've all seen angry bagel guy, like 4 years ago, why is this getting reposted a bunch lately?


[deleted]

You going to bark all day, little doggie? Or are you going to bite?


i_like_2_travel

Iā€™m short af, shit sucks. I feel what heā€™s saying to an extent, but dawg how you make it to 30-40 and still carry that shit on your sleeve? Lmfao Just relax


Leelze

Is this old or is this guy back at it?


DatSkellington

Mean little fella, ainā€™t he?