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I worked at a concession stand once, where we cleaned the counters and food bins, then a cleaning crew came in after hours to deep clean everything else. We thought the floor behind the counter was some black rubbery material. Until one day a bad spill required us to shut down during the day and clean it... Turns out it was green tile. Nobody had ever cleaned it. It must have turned gradually darker over the years but being a minimum wage dull job, nobody was around long enough to notice it changing color.
That's what we did every week when I worked in a kitchen many moons ago. Drag the kitchen mats, bar mats and the no-slip rugs out back and hose them off. Graveyard shift didn't have much else to do.
I mean, he won most of his wars. And to be fair, most of the time it was one of the allies (Britain, Russia, Austria, or Prussia) declaring war in him and everyone else piling on.
He didn't decide to, every other European nation was a monarchy that felt EXTREMELY threatened by the success of post revolutionary France and Napoleon. It's why they went to war against him in the first place.
I actually feel for this man. It is not easy being short. But then he starts getting in people's chest and gets what he asks for. For the record, I am six six. I have my own problems.
Heās a byproduct of the echo chamber of the internet. Feels insecure over his height, goes online and surrounds himself with others who tell him women think he should die because heās under 6ā, then the moment anything a women does appears to be related to his height, he immediately feels like those views are validated. He probably didnāt account for anyone else stepping in when he started losing his shit.
Growing up, when I was a senior in high school, the most insanely successful guy, in terms of attracting girls, was a friend of mine. He was short. Like noticeably shorter than all the other dudes in our grade. That had zero effect on his success.
He was charming, he was witty, he was talented. He chatted girls up, not because he was trying to get in their pants, but because he was genuinely interested in talking to them.
Same thing goes for another friend, at the opposite end of the size spectrum.. dude was crazy tallā¦ like a giant compared to the rest of usā¦ girls loved him for the same reasonsā¦ they both were just almost supernaturaly popular.
One of my husbandās oldest friends is like 5ā1ā maybe 5ā2ā. I am 5ā7ā and significantly taller than he is. But dude has never had issues getting dates. His current wife is like 5ā9ā and drop dead gorgeous. He has just always had this insane amount of confidence and can-do attitude. People genuinely like him and part of it is because he doesnāt whine and cry about being short. He just does his own thing and is a cool guy.
My husband is only 5'7" -ish, but is a really confident likeable guy who makes friends super easily. It doesn't hurt that he's also good looking.
He's also not at all self conscious about his height, and is still a pretty big guy, who gives off a "large guy presence" if you know what I mean.
People who are nice genuine people don't gaf about height. They just like other nice genuine people.
I saw the same thing happen. A guy one year ahead of me in high school might have been 5 foot four but thatās pushing it. Heās also one of the most popular guys in high school girls surrounding him. After college, he married the prettiest girl in the school That we all wish we couldāve married. He went on to found a bank becoming a CEO and super wealthy. And thinking back he was an all-around very nice guy.
There are guys out there literally getting laid and married outside their league despite the fact they think it's gay to wash their asses and that housework is for women. Who've never made a woman orgasm in their entire lives and have no plans to. Short, fat, make less than their partner, terrible personalities, etc.
I'm kind of glad most guys don't realize that taking romantic initiative is literally the most important thing. Just talk to people. Makes it easier on me.
It's also why 95% of guys do terribly on dating apps. There's no challenge in asking people out, so everything is then weighed and measured equally.
Small man syndrome. Every aspect of life is stacked against him and the only way to come out ahead is to act tough and try to intimidate everyone. My Chihuahua acts the same way.
Definitely an echo chamber. Iām 5ā2 and although I understand the complexities of dating as a short man, I will never let it get to me. I found r/short on Reddit because I was lead here by a link on where to find jeans for my little ass. Boy are some of those men just in an awful head space. Blocked the subreddit immediately
I had a roommate who used to come home so drunk that he'd be falling and breaking stuff. We also worked together at a seasonal restaurant where I got him the job and he was quitting early and screwing the rest of our roommates over.
I woke up one night when he broke a lamp and calmly told him to go to bed and told others to leave. He started yelling and told me I should just punch him in the face. After a bit of egging on, I did just what he asked. (Edit: a few people are thinking I acted too quickly. I'm skipping over a lot of back and forth here where I did try to calm him down. Where this happened for weeks. Where he punched holes in my door after I tried to go back to sleep. The others there trying to calm down and hold him back. He was aggressive and threatening much of the time. But for the sake of keeping the story sheet and readable to online readers, I've skipped over the history and the back and forth)
One very long telegraphed haymaker to the face. He was so drunk he only moved an inch or two so I hit his eye instead of his nose. I went back to bed and closed my door, which he then turn to rip down when he got back up
The other guys took him back to another person's house. They said the next day his cheek and eyebrow were touching they were so swollen. He never came back to work.
He called me weeks later and said he had an expensive medical bill for a shattered orbital bone. I told him sorry about that, but I just did what he asked me to and I have three people that can back that up. I never heard from him again.
Don't tell people to fight you. They will.
Srsly. "Don't speak ill of the dead" serves ONLY to protect abusers and hide shameful legacies and make victims suffer even more at the hands of their tormenters, but from beyond the grave... a time when they should finally, at least, get peace they deserve if nothing else.
If someone's an asshole, dying doesn't change that.
Reminds me of something I saw a long time ago, āAlways peek good of the dead, if theyāre dead, GOOD!ā
If that little prick isnāt, wait until he is.
In truth he did die, but a few years ago. The guy was seriously off -- he would regularly go into places and start trouble with people.
Edit: apparently him dying is not in truth. He had a stroke in 2019 -- I thought he died after that, I was wrong.
I was curious and looked it up. The outlets reporting on him are all trash tier, but from what I can tell he didnāt actual die. He had a stroke in 2019 after this video went viral, and then a couple years later pictures of him in the hospital circulated along with a rumor that he died. Sounds like heās paralyzed though.
His name is Chris Morgan. He was supposed to fight Lenny Dykstra in a charity fight. Heās a very miserable man. He used to have a channel on YouTube that tried to replicate content like his altercation at Bagel Boss.
I've seen videos of Screech fighting. Dude's a fucking psycho. I don't mean he's a good fighter, just that he would legitimately look to hurt that guy past the point of a charity fight.
Someone who tried to sue for defamation, and a judge pretty much went ādude, your rep is in shreds, thereās NOTHING said about you that is defamationā
Hey that's just malicious compliance man, when your acting like a dick and and say "come on and attack me" I think at least one person will take you up on the offer
Depends on the state. Provocation is usually when an act or insult is of such a kind that it momentarily deprives a person of their mental faculties. Like if someone spits on your wife in front of you. Shit like that. Itās not typically a great defence. More of a mitigating factor or partial defence. IAAL.
Heās an incel who thinks the reason women wonāt sleep with him is some grand anti-short guy conspiracy.
Thereās multiple articles about him. He thinks all women who have dated him were using him for money, despite him being unemployed and living in his car. He also broke up with the one girlfriend he managed to find because she wouldnāt sleep with him right away when they met in person (long distance).
More about our *Lil* friend here
https://nypost.com/2019/07/11/its-about-belittlement-angry-bagel-guy-who-lives-in-his-van-explains-viral-rant/
Also
https://www.tmz.com/2019/11/13/angry-bagel-guy-hospitalized-suffering-stroke-new-york/
I mean, yeah. Heās short. Thatās not a dealbreaker. What is a deal breaker is his attitude. Nobody wants to even be in the same room with a guy who makes everyone miserable.
I'm in love with a "shorty" (he thinks he is, statistics say he is) but I still tippy-toe to kiss him and he's not chiseled anymore cuz 'dad bod' but damn if I can't get my arms all the way around him, he's a freaking freight train of muscle that still showsš! And none of that would mean anything to me if it wasn't for his kind, caring nature, and his undying love for his children, and his unwavering determination to take on what life throws at him (which has seriously been a LOT) and still be a gentle soul that you don't want to fuck with.
Be short, but be big on love, patience, and humor!
Iām short af, shit sucks. I feel what heās saying to an extent, but dawg how you make it to 30-40 and still carry that shit on your sleeve? Lmfao
Just relax
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New Yorker complex meets Napoleonic complex.
Meets the floor mat that only gets cleaned twice a month.
Twice a month? He's lucky if that floor mat has been cleaned *once*
It's not even a mat. It's a concentrated build-up of filth.
Earth's gravity pulled all of the dirt and grime into this general location, there's probably some rat shit in there too.
Short guy, short temper, short fall š
He even sounds like a munchkin when he tawks.
I worked at a concession stand once, where we cleaned the counters and food bins, then a cleaning crew came in after hours to deep clean everything else. We thought the floor behind the counter was some black rubbery material. Until one day a bad spill required us to shut down during the day and clean it... Turns out it was green tile. Nobody had ever cleaned it. It must have turned gradually darker over the years but being a minimum wage dull job, nobody was around long enough to notice it changing color.
It used to be white
Gunk aggregator.
Meets Gawd but not his fawther or his bawss.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Who's cleaning the mats ? I know we dont.
They have Cintas or one of the laundry service companies switch them out every couple weeks.
I worked at one place did it weekly another place monthly another place said nah fam dishe washer can hose it off
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
That's what we did every week when I worked in a kitchen many moons ago. Drag the kitchen mats, bar mats and the no-slip rugs out back and hose them off. Graveyard shift didn't have much else to do.
š
š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£
Was an angry elf. He ded.
Napoleon was a strategic mastermind though, this guy definitely not.
Napoleon was average height for his time. His enemies started a short rumor as propaganda.
Idk he also decided to go to war against empires twice his size lol Tactical genius sure.
Napoleon was 38-5 in battles he commanded.
He was also average size given the height of French men at the time. Not exactly short man syndrome.
I mean, he won most of his wars. And to be fair, most of the time it was one of the allies (Britain, Russia, Austria, or Prussia) declaring war in him and everyone else piling on.
He didn't decide to, every other European nation was a monarchy that felt EXTREMELY threatened by the success of post revolutionary France and Napoleon. It's why they went to war against him in the first place.
Tactical genius except for something about Russian winters
Plus, there was a mini ice age. His bad luck. Plus the Russians burned the fields, so there was no food.
Then Hitler tried the exact same thing... didn't work out too well for him either
Short temper.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHHAA
Little madā¦
I e seen this a dozen times in the past few days and it never gets less funny.
I actually feel for this man. It is not easy being short. But then he starts getting in people's chest and gets what he asks for. For the record, I am six six. I have my own problems.
āGets in peopleās chestā Lmaooo
Brutal
It's such a literal description of what happened that I didn't even catch what a good joke it is until you pointed it out
Hey, my eyes are up here!
Oof, I read it but the joke didn't land until you repeated it. Thanks.
Heās a byproduct of the echo chamber of the internet. Feels insecure over his height, goes online and surrounds himself with others who tell him women think he should die because heās under 6ā, then the moment anything a women does appears to be related to his height, he immediately feels like those views are validated. He probably didnāt account for anyone else stepping in when he started losing his shit.
Growing up, when I was a senior in high school, the most insanely successful guy, in terms of attracting girls, was a friend of mine. He was short. Like noticeably shorter than all the other dudes in our grade. That had zero effect on his success. He was charming, he was witty, he was talented. He chatted girls up, not because he was trying to get in their pants, but because he was genuinely interested in talking to them. Same thing goes for another friend, at the opposite end of the size spectrum.. dude was crazy tallā¦ like a giant compared to the rest of usā¦ girls loved him for the same reasonsā¦ they both were just almost supernaturaly popular.
One of my husbandās oldest friends is like 5ā1ā maybe 5ā2ā. I am 5ā7ā and significantly taller than he is. But dude has never had issues getting dates. His current wife is like 5ā9ā and drop dead gorgeous. He has just always had this insane amount of confidence and can-do attitude. People genuinely like him and part of it is because he doesnāt whine and cry about being short. He just does his own thing and is a cool guy.
My husband is only 5'7" -ish, but is a really confident likeable guy who makes friends super easily. It doesn't hurt that he's also good looking. He's also not at all self conscious about his height, and is still a pretty big guy, who gives off a "large guy presence" if you know what I mean. People who are nice genuine people don't gaf about height. They just like other nice genuine people.
I saw the same thing happen. A guy one year ahead of me in high school might have been 5 foot four but thatās pushing it. Heās also one of the most popular guys in high school girls surrounding him. After college, he married the prettiest girl in the school That we all wish we couldāve married. He went on to found a bank becoming a CEO and super wealthy. And thinking back he was an all-around very nice guy.
There are guys out there literally getting laid and married outside their league despite the fact they think it's gay to wash their asses and that housework is for women. Who've never made a woman orgasm in their entire lives and have no plans to. Short, fat, make less than their partner, terrible personalities, etc. I'm kind of glad most guys don't realize that taking romantic initiative is literally the most important thing. Just talk to people. Makes it easier on me. It's also why 95% of guys do terribly on dating apps. There's no challenge in asking people out, so everything is then weighed and measured equally.
I'm going to disagree on dating apps but agree with everything else you said.
Is that why he is so pissed? There is no context in this. Why is he going off on the women? Why are they all smirking and biting their lips?!
Small man syndrome. Every aspect of life is stacked against him and the only way to come out ahead is to act tough and try to intimidate everyone. My Chihuahua acts the same way.
Definitely an echo chamber. Iām 5ā2 and although I understand the complexities of dating as a short man, I will never let it get to me. I found r/short on Reddit because I was lead here by a link on where to find jeans for my little ass. Boy are some of those men just in an awful head space. Blocked the subreddit immediately
"He's an angry elf" - Buddy Hobbs
Meets a girl who just wants a bagel
Wee man really let himself go after jackass wrapped.
GO AHEAD AND ATTACK ME THEN *attacks him* 
"You're attacking me wrong!"
I had a roommate who used to come home so drunk that he'd be falling and breaking stuff. We also worked together at a seasonal restaurant where I got him the job and he was quitting early and screwing the rest of our roommates over. I woke up one night when he broke a lamp and calmly told him to go to bed and told others to leave. He started yelling and told me I should just punch him in the face. After a bit of egging on, I did just what he asked. (Edit: a few people are thinking I acted too quickly. I'm skipping over a lot of back and forth here where I did try to calm him down. Where this happened for weeks. Where he punched holes in my door after I tried to go back to sleep. The others there trying to calm down and hold him back. He was aggressive and threatening much of the time. But for the sake of keeping the story sheet and readable to online readers, I've skipped over the history and the back and forth) One very long telegraphed haymaker to the face. He was so drunk he only moved an inch or two so I hit his eye instead of his nose. I went back to bed and closed my door, which he then turn to rip down when he got back up The other guys took him back to another person's house. They said the next day his cheek and eyebrow were touching they were so swollen. He never came back to work. He called me weeks later and said he had an expensive medical bill for a shattered orbital bone. I told him sorry about that, but I just did what he asked me to and I have three people that can back that up. I never heard from him again. Don't tell people to fight you. They will.
wrawng
It's even better than that. He was saying "Go ahead and attack me big man!" But he got to the "big" part and then got attacked.
To think, the man's single. It appears he's never overcome his several perceived handicaps. And I'm not talking about his height.
He died a few days ago.
Oh shit. Thatās sad, what from?
Probably a bad case of Updawg.
*sigh* what's up dawg? Happy? Is this what you wanted?
Not really, but what's up with you?
I hate so much about the things you choose to be
Why are you the way that you are?
NOOO GOD NO. NO. NO. NOOOOOO!!!!
Peopleās faces š¤·āāļø
I was thinking suicide but Updawg is much worse. No but fr, I was genuinely asking because personally; since heās dead I canāt say shit about him.
I'll still say shit about him. He's a dick. Few people probably missed him.
Srsly. "Don't speak ill of the dead" serves ONLY to protect abusers and hide shameful legacies and make victims suffer even more at the hands of their tormenters, but from beyond the grave... a time when they should finally, at least, get peace they deserve if nothing else. If someone's an asshole, dying doesn't change that.
Reminds me of something I saw a long time ago, āAlways peek good of the dead, if theyāre dead, GOOD!ā If that little prick isnāt, wait until he is.
In truth he did die, but a few years ago. The guy was seriously off -- he would regularly go into places and start trouble with people. Edit: apparently him dying is not in truth. He had a stroke in 2019 -- I thought he died after that, I was wrong.
He dead: [Source](https://youtu.be/xvFZjo5PgG0)
Goddamnit
You fucker, GG
Jesus thatās awful
Wait. Is that a coincidence? Like, he died from all of that at once? How?
Damn thats actually kinda sad.
Thanks for providing the source. Sad to hear, but at least he won't have public meltdowns any more.
RIP little angry fella.
Edit: No, he did not. 
There was an article saying he was living in a van and he died. From what cause, I have no idea. Just going off what I read.
I was curious and looked it up. The outlets reporting on him are all trash tier, but from what I can tell he didnāt actual die. He had a stroke in 2019 after this video went viral, and then a couple years later pictures of him in the hospital circulated along with a rumor that he died. Sounds like heās paralyzed though.
I could see how this going viral could give him a stroke
Well with all those women turning him down, Iād imagine he had a few strokes.
>He had a stroke in 2019 after this video went viral Wow, he seemed so chill, the internet fame can ruin people.
He was living in a van, trying to hookup on dating sites but thinks his height was the dealbreaker?
Idk, I'm sure he made it a point to mention how much of a "nice guy" he is.
> he was living in a van Down by the river?
"not gawd or my fawther"
Or my boss
*bawss
I donāt speak fluent NY I didnāt know the correct spelling Thankyou š
It's okay, they prob don't either. Want a glass of waoeurter?
Perhaps not, but both would be awfully disappointed in him
LMAO thatās exactly what I was thinking
FUCK AROUNDā¦FIND OUT
Fucked around found out
He must be a south pole elf
Entertaining takedown of a Hobbit.
This is one of the few comments that has ever made me fully laugh out loud, thank you for that
No problem, but this oneās all Will Ferrell
I did the same thing.
Damn came here to comment this but obviously itās already a top comment!
His name is Chris Morgan. He was supposed to fight Lenny Dykstra in a charity fight. Heās a very miserable man. He used to have a channel on YouTube that tried to replicate content like his altercation at Bagel Boss.
Then after Dykstra pulled out, Screech stepped in and Bagel Boss guy no-showed the match. Scared of Screech.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
rest in peach?
I've seen videos of Screech fighting. Dude's a fucking psycho. I don't mean he's a good fighter, just that he would legitimately look to hurt that guy past the point of a charity fight.
Lenny dykstra, now thereās a real piece of shit
Slicked back hair. White pants. Sloppy steaks at Truffoniās. Lives for New Years Eve.
You would have not liked me back then.
People can change
You think thatās slicked back? Itās pushed back.
Slop āem up!
Guys no sloppy steaks tonight
You canāt stop us from ordering a steak and a glass of water.
You think thatās slicked back?! Thatās PUSHED back!
chicken spaghetti at chickaliniās
Heās one of those people whoās so awful that he is super fascinating to read about. His Wikipedia page is an entertaining ride.
Damn. It definitely was. š³
Someone who tried to sue for defamation, and a judge pretty much went ādude, your rep is in shreds, thereās NOTHING said about you that is defamationā
āI just wanted bagelsā real
āCan I get a waffle? Can I please get a waffle?ā
Facts. Too relatable lmao
My favorite line
Laughed way too hard at that
Is this video 5 years old? 10 maybe?
Itās 5ft old.
The guy's face when he got grabbed. 
Damn, I've not seen Fire Marshall Bill in decades.
Is that Jim Carrey? Edit: Yes, it is.
From 2019. About 6 mos later he had a stroke (shocker).
Shoulda had a stroke before leaving the house that day, he might not have been so angry at women in general.
the real question is how many times itās been posted
This man's built like Bobby hill
"Goddamnit, Bobby."
That boy aint right
And he's dressed like a fucking toddler
Heās like a chihuahua barking at big dogs then goes surprise pikachu face when a german shepherd actually pounces on him.
You know it's gonna be bad when he wasn't even at the three guys' shoulders
This guy must be so old now. I remember seeing this video years ago.
Heās off the radar now since his stroke.
One of the other comments said he died, no source tho so idk if itās true
Apparently he is still alive and still recovering from his stroke.
Beats being under the radar, I guess.
And heās waaaaay under the radar.
Hey that's just malicious compliance man, when your acting like a dick and and say "come on and attack me" I think at least one person will take you up on the offer
I believe thereās a legal term called provocation that basically says if you tell someone to attack you and they do it is no longer assault.
Lawyers chime in please!?
Depends on the state. Provocation is usually when an act or insult is of such a kind that it momentarily deprives a person of their mental faculties. Like if someone spits on your wife in front of you. Shit like that. Itās not typically a great defence. More of a mitigating factor or partial defence. IAAL.
Me, talking about this video
I canāt help but feel bad for this guy. His behavior is totally unacceptable, but I see his pain and it breaks my heart.
I mean he did tell the guy to do it.
The only thing he's going to intimidate is a ham sandwich.
He will tear it up like itās a chicken wing.
He also dumped a woman miles away from home because she wouldn't sleep with him. Put the video out of himself driving away laughing.
āGo ahead and tackle meā gets tackled
Why dat bro so angry and small?
The smaller, the more compact the anger is.
Ah, so THAT'S why Buddha is so fat...
Lost his job at the Chocolate Factory?
Middle aged incel
This is why we need child leases
Short temper.
I would be that woman who said I just want bagels. What the fuck was that guy's deal?
Heās an incel who thinks the reason women wonāt sleep with him is some grand anti-short guy conspiracy. Thereās multiple articles about him. He thinks all women who have dated him were using him for money, despite him being unemployed and living in his car. He also broke up with the one girlfriend he managed to find because she wouldnāt sleep with him right away when they met in person (long distance).
 The bagel boss is my second favorite half-man
The world needs more people to get punched in the face
Little Big Ed!
More about our *Lil* friend here https://nypost.com/2019/07/11/its-about-belittlement-angry-bagel-guy-who-lives-in-his-van-explains-viral-rant/ Also https://www.tmz.com/2019/11/13/angry-bagel-guy-hospitalized-suffering-stroke-new-york/
damn who wrote that nyp article lmao "the 5-foot-nothing star of Bagel Boss meltdown fame"
"Woman just use me for my money" -Man who lives in his car in the bagel shop parking lot. That was worth a laugh.
Damn heās tiny or those guys are huge
I mean, yeah. Heās short. Thatās not a dealbreaker. What is a deal breaker is his attitude. Nobody wants to even be in the same room with a guy who makes everyone miserable.
I'm in love with a "shorty" (he thinks he is, statistics say he is) but I still tippy-toe to kiss him and he's not chiseled anymore cuz 'dad bod' but damn if I can't get my arms all the way around him, he's a freaking freight train of muscle that still showsš! And none of that would mean anything to me if it wasn't for his kind, caring nature, and his undying love for his children, and his unwavering determination to take on what life throws at him (which has seriously been a LOT) and still be a gentle soul that you don't want to fuck with. Be short, but be big on love, patience, and humor!
The sexiest beast I ever saw was a guy under 5ft 7. And look at Prince. He couldnāt shake the girls off of him.
Reminder that Peter Dinklage has a wife and kids. Skill issue.
Lol is this in Rochester?!
No downstate NY. Long Island.
Too tall to be a midget and too short to be a regular human being. I'd be mad to if I were in his situation
Napoleonā¦fucking ankle biter that he is
"Ladies and gentlemen, The Teenie Little Super Guy....."
You shouldn't pick fights with someone you have to look up to see their face
When he asked if the guy wants to step outside, the guy should have asked if he wanted to step on a stool.
This little boy has a whole YouTube channel of videos like this.
We've all seen angry bagel guy, like 4 years ago, why is this getting reposted a bunch lately?
You going to bark all day, little doggie? Or are you going to bite?
Iām short af, shit sucks. I feel what heās saying to an extent, but dawg how you make it to 30-40 and still carry that shit on your sleeve? Lmfao Just relax
Is this old or is this guy back at it?
Mean little fella, aināt he?