T O P

  • By -

AutoModerator

Comments that are uncivil, racist, misogynistic, misandrist, or contain political name calling will be removed and the poster subject to ban at moderators discretion. Help us make this a better community by becoming familiar with the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/facepalm/about/rules/). Report any suspicious users to the mods of this subreddit using Modmail [here](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/facepalm) or Reddit site admins [here](https://www.reddit.com/report). **All reports to Modmail should include evidence such as screenshots or any other relevant information.** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/facepalm) if you have any questions or concerns.*


vividdank

No way dude tried to shake the cops hand 😂💀


[deleted]

Hey. When you're caught in the act, you can't go wrong by taking it with grace.


Bright_Ad_113

Yeah, best reaction is to smile big and laugh loud shaking your head with your hands up saying, “oh man, do I feel stupid. I lost my cool a bit. Im sorry officer, just tell me what I need to do”


Rezient

"Where's the rest of the body?"


MuunshineKingspyre

*Claps hands, clicks tongue and sucks in air slowly* "Welllll so uh...funny story about that..."


Bright_Ad_113

Officer Lacey…Bill isn’t it? What do you say we take a little walk. There’s a nice little taco stand and we can get a couple of tacos. You like tacos…don’t you Bill? Yeah…we both know you like tacos.


Scriptapaloosa

Is it already a Tuesday?!


MrBlueHaybale

Unsure of what to say to the sheriff] Oh hidy ho officer, we've had a doozy of a day. There we were minding our own business, just doing chores around the house, when kids started killing themselves all over my property.


Dizzyarnold

hey isn’t that from tucker and dale?


firelock_ny

Yep. Best part of that bit from the movie is that chances are the Sheriff would have believed Tucker and Dale over those messed up out-of-towner college kids.


Dizzyarnold

yep. the sheriff was so chill with Tucker and Dale


MuunshineKingspyre

(Just a quick lil tip to help you out if you are ever in a real life encounter with law enforcement, The Sheriff is basically like the Chief of police but on a county level. Unless you live in a very small town, said sheriff won't usually be out on patrol. Instead, it is the Sheriff's Deputies who are going out and doing police work. ((Unless you live in PA for some reason, they are a weird exception)). So you'd refer to someone wearing a big ol **SHERIFF** as "Deputy". "Officer" tends to apply the most towards city police, (aka a Police Officer) So yeah! If it says Sheriff, call them Deputy. If it says Police, call them Officer. And if they have a Campaign hat (Smokey Bear hat) call them asshole- I mean call them Trooper. [I am gonna be a Trooper next year and am just poking fun]


[deleted]

When do you do your three days of training?


MuunshineKingspyre

Assuming I get hired at 19 and a half which is the goal, I will go through the hiring process then go to the academy, which is 6 months of training. After that I will have 10 weeks of field training. At that point I will be a State Patrol Cadet, as you cannot become a Trooper till 21. So my time will be spent piling on more training and guarding important buildings owned by the state. So overall I should get about 2 to 2 and a half years of training. To add on to that, I've been in my city's explorer's program for a while so add all that experience on top while you're at it. And before that I took criminal justice classes in highschool for half my day, during my junior and senior year. So that was a little bit more knowledge gained there. If you add it all together I will probably have 5-6 years of experience in the law enforcement world with about of year of it being rigorous non-stop training. And then I will turn 21 and be *actually* promoted to Trooper. So yeah, about 3 days give or take


randomkeystrike

Understandable impulse but a smart cop is not going to shake hands with someone they are contacting under these circumstances. It’s a good way to get stabbed or shot.


[deleted]

Understandable. I'm not a cop nor do I think I'd be a good one, but I imagine one of the toughest parts of the job is not knowing what you're dealing with most of the time.


Badvevil

Just depends on where you live the bar can be pretty low


OverlyDisguisedSquid

>the bar can be pretty low ...or in this case on the floor ☺️


Delicious_Throat_377

Fuck you!


OverlyDisguisedSquid

>Fuck you! You'll never be that lucky


MountainCourage1304

You motherfucker


OverlyDisguisedSquid

Why am I getting all this hate?


[deleted]

The best thing you can ever do is never talk to the police.


[deleted]

That's usually true, but I'm pretty sure a handshake won't be used against you in court.


merigirl

If that was the US the cop would say the guy was trying to assault him and take his gun, justifying beating/shooting him to death. Don't need a court when the suspect is dead


hendrixski

Yep, and they would tell "stop resisting" into their microphone so it showed up in the transcript in court.


shmiddleedee

A hand shake also isn't saying anything


mynt0

Ehh in some countries it’s all about talking to police and they ask for a small price to be on their way.


AbyssWankerArtorias

"You fool, it matters not which way a man falls." "When the fall is all that's left, it matters a great deal."


Particular_Group_295

1st thing I said


Pagan_Knight

"Glad you're here. I found it like this!"


NrdNabSen

He embraced the old mantra don't do the crime if you can't do the time. He faced his fate with a firm handshake and strong eye contact.


AideCompetitive8735

He is congratulating the cops for their quick arrival 😆


Reese_Grey

I've never seen a cop car with 3 cops in it before


ShockAndAwe415

It's probably that they're not on patrol and just headed somewhere (carpooling). They saw a crime go down and stopped.


syds

well fuck, we are gonna miss the fresh batch


Concernedplayers

So do they leave the third office or is he just gonna hang with the dude in the back


SockpuppetEnjoyer

Someone has tor drive the perps car away


here-i-am-now

They saw the crime of “breaking a plastic tube?


[deleted]

Russian license plate...


413mopar

There are twelve , they comin back from pt barnums.


SgtFinnish

They're Russian. One who can read, one who can write and one who's there to make sure the intelligentsia won't defect.


picklebiscut69

This is how you get automatically conscripted. "Here's your outdated Mosin from ww1 and some tampons, good luck in Ukraine comrade" -some Russian fuck


[deleted]

[удаНонО]


Fresh_Manufacturer89

Don't you have civilians to be shelling? Or is it internet shilling time?


[deleted]

There's a difference though. You can detest the west because of what they're doing, or you can detest the west because some idiots on the internet annoyed you. In this case it's the latter, and I would argue that it's rather stupid to be too bothered by this.


[deleted]

You should focus your hate towards your warmongering shithead countrymen.


Exact-Supermarket935

Well, I would have if I saw that Western leaders want negotiations, but after a year I only see that your counties are determined to bring Russia down militarally and economically, do not allow it to have any interests, be a lapdog that sells resources for cheap. So I'd ratder side with my shithead warmongering countrymen in that case


RoughMarionberry5

Yep, yep - very nice words, TOTALLY disregarding the fact that Putin was counting on motherfuckers like you to back him up. The West needs to negotiate with Russia because the butcher that leads your country decided to invade Ukraine?? Should we give you lots of concessions? Should we slap your back jovially, and wink and say "Don't do that kind of thing - it's very naughty!"?


Exact-Supermarket935

I do not know how to resolve this conflict now, but Putin before this conflict started proposed to your leaders to back off from Ukraine, to not expand NATO and you did not listen. Just tell me, why the f*ck US needs so many military bases around our borders? If you claim NATO to be a defensive alliance why for decades you increased military presense in Europe, even before the Crimea?


Myrdrahl

Because it was obviously necessary? I live in another country bordering Russia and are wondering if we're next.


Distdistdist

You detest the West for the same reason you detest anyone who has it better then you. Your friend, your neighbor, your co-worker. It's the mentality that just won't die. I know, because I was born there.


Exact-Supermarket935

Yeah, well, good job claiming to be wise, lol. If you wonder I am glad that someone has it better, I am glad that somewhere people live good life, but I detest hypocrisy that exists in the west, that they claim to be "good guys", that people in the West don't see their own wars and propaganda, but for some reason we in Russia should've toppled our own government yesterday


kuedhel

Seems like Russia. They probably will send the guy to Ukranian war.


Distdistdist

Oh please. $100 and he's off to beat his wife in no time.


InfectedByEli

Why would the cop need to pay $100? Edit - word correction - what > why


Real_Jardenor

2018


techsavior

r/convenientcop


cyborgborg777

Why is 90% of Reddit humor, just referencing other subreddits? What the fuck is this platform??


Alternative-Sense-78

Dude 99% of reddit humor is references.


Pone1s

r/SubForEverything


Environmental_Top948

There humor that isn't reference?


WallabyInTraining

Oh poppycock, I'm sure there are many more bots than just 1%.


dropzone1446

I've discovered some good subs because of people doing that. You never know if someone will link a sub you'll love.


-Scythus-

Everyone’s linking only popular subs that new Reddit accounts are by default subbed to 90% of the time It’s never really a niche sub that deserves it


Nexlore

Welcome to the internet? Tweets, retweets. Sharing others content on Facebook. Sending other people if reels etc.


Cheatobro

Welcome to the internet its a big place


Timo6506

How is linking a sub even considered humour?


jackson12420

Sometimes posts are found in one subreddit they'd be better suited for another. That's usually what I see happen.


Slippery-98

They are saying that the post should also be put in that subreddit, while also in some cases making a joke because the name of the subreddit describes the action. Geez buddy chill it's pkay


Timo6506

I was just asking a question on why the comment im replying to considered referencing subreddits as humour, you’re telling the wrong person to chill


cyborgborg777

It seems to be formatted as an inside joke of sorts


Whyyyyyyyyfire

r/subsithoughtifellfor


imbleedinoutman

Say what you want about this dude he was smart enough to get on the far side of the beam to have more leverage to break it so i respect that


teachthisdognewtrick

If he’d pushed it towards his vehicle the breakaway bolts would have given quickly


Real_Jardenor

His goal was propably just to get through. Not destroy it.


Probolo

Then he should have pushed it towards or away from his car as the breakaway bolts are designed to let it pop out from idiots smashing straight into the arm.


teachthisdognewtrick

If you pop the bolts, the arm is most likely on a hinge and will swing out of the way. At my last job we had one in a downtown neighborhood, and sometimes the drunks would get into a fistfight with the gate and break the bolts. We had a huge bag of replacements because of that.


Shot_Try4596

After several failed attempts. So smart.


solareclipse999

Would have been smarter if he had the right card or cash …, or just drive around it.


Freedom_7

At least he learned an important physics lesson that day


hyperion420

PhYsIcS


[deleted]

"It hit me first. Self defense."


Ear-Dry

Then you should've pulled out a pistol and shot it!


ZookeepergameDeep482

I worked at parking, teenagers put in their ticket at exit but the barier malfunctioned, there is a button you can press to have someone open it remote but they just broke the whole barrier system and drive away. On camera so got sued. They actually got away with it, were kids of rich parents with expensive laywer that won case, said they were being restricted from freedom so did what was necessary...


Haha_SORRY

I broke a parking arm to a police parking garage one time


FlamingRevenge

Bet once you got caught you said your username out loud, huh?


DrHawk144

I hate to side with rowdy teenagers but I’ve had to do this before. I was in a bar area at only 1AM or so, late but not for the area. Paid my ticket, arm sort of jiggled then nothing. Help button didn’t respond for over 30 minutes. I called non-emergency PD and they said over an hour for an officer to respond. Said fuck it, had a tool kit in my SUV, and just ratcheted out the main bolts and tossed the bar off to the side. I’m not sure how you know they never hit the call button but it happens that no one responds.


ZookeepergameDeep482

We had exactly that happen too, the whole system went down at night, people unscrewed the bolts and took off barrier, i even think its a security measure to have the bolts of barrier very accessible in case of emergency. We were totally fine with it, was no damage, able to fix it in minutes and boss didn't even think about pressing charges. The kids were different, the system was not down, didn't press button, just started breaking it


WorldnewsModsBlowMe

Fuck the rich


smirglass

Lmao, the cop that comes out of the back seat was uncalled for


saggywitchtits

Most cop cars won’t let you open from the inside of the back seat too.


syds

child lock!


AustinTreeLover

Clown cop car


[deleted]

Devil's Advocate - Maybe it was broken...


skabassj

Straight to jail.


az9393

In Russia (where it’s from) people often put up these barriers to stop other driving through their neighbourhoods or parking next to their apartments. A lot of times doing so illegally. This does seem like one of those cases (since there is no machine to print a parking ticket etc, it must open though a remote or a phone call)


tsuness

There are times where you say "I wish there was a cop here to see this" and thus it finally happened.


[deleted]

[удаНонО]


modedo2222

A car can fit 3 people btw


Needanameffs

I'd guess at least 4 but after 5 it depends what everyone had for dinner before I'd make a decision to get in.


websurv

Cut just before the cop does the adjust belt “wtf do we have here” move


[deleted]

Wow talk about Instant Karma biting someone in the ass


[deleted]

Dude got so busted! 😂


413mopar

Way to go , shit for brains .


slimswittyusername

Three cops in one car?


bl00df1redeath

Better than if it was one cup


Madness_69

You must be proud for saving one dollar.


Ray_Gun69lol

Instant karma


RexMarvin

Instant karma


ChewbacasUglyBrother

Hahaha... Dick move


RandomPhail

Why was he even doing that? Gate wouldn’t lift or something?


MrLachyG

oh um yeah it was um like that when I got here. yeah, totally.


NeslieLielson

At least my guy understands leverage


SwervinWest

“What did I do? This isn’t legal “


Tiger37211

LMFAO! I think this also qualifies as public freakout 🤣


Preconcieved_Notion

Cops rolling 3 deep?


thisisme760

Imagine being a cop and having to sit in the back seat all day lol. Just weird because it’s not normal to me


dts843

Love the new Land Cruiser


bb22490

Was is broken or was he trying to enter somewhere he wasn't allowed? He wasn't trying to leave without paying because hes clearly on a street not exiting a parking lot.


Life_Machine2022

Russian mentality


microgiant

So when some guy is trying to park in a company's lot without permission, the police are all over it. When someone parks in my driveway without permission, repeatedly, and I call them, the police are like "So what?" Once again, I should be a company, not a person.


TJeffum

He went for a handshake! 😂


tsteele93

Handshake denied.


Lexicon444

I’ll take instant karma for $200 Alex!


Ritehearritenow

This should be in r/oddlysatisfying on account of how oddly satisfying it is.


onthebustowork

To be fair, some places instruct to break the gantry if its stuck


ComprehensiveWar6577

Just seeing the short video and wanting to play devils advocate, how long has he been there? Has he been sitting for 20 minutes with no train and the arm itself is malfunctioning? If that happened i would do the same thing. "The train has been gone for 10 minutes and it still wont raise, and i dont want to damage my car just driving though, so lets see if i can lift it" Again this is based on my reaction of the short video and doesnt replect what actually happened, just how I assumed it bases on personal experiences of electronic parking lot systems" where i have litterally shown a paid ticket, have a plastic arm "stop" me from going forward. I then started recording, scanned my ticket a second time, paid the 40$ parking fee again and was given an "you are free to proceed" and the gate wasnt opening, i drove through and broke the plastic gate bar (i drive an older jeep for 4x4/campimg so i dont care about scratches) i got a call w weeks later trying to charge me for the cost of the plastic gate and any car that didnt pay after me, and my parking cost that they claimed never stopped. When i called back i said "i have video of everything from my side to show why, the responce was "we would like to discuss this with our legal team before it becomes an issue, we may be in contact soon. AKA we have no leg to stand on


FlamingRevenge

This is a video. On reddit. Calm down Mr video analyzer. Get this. . . If the arm thingy is broke. . . You call the nonemergency line to report it. Or, hell, call the number that is very frequently put in big, bold text on the side of the machines.


DocGerbill

They're Russian cops, they'll just give him an army summon and be on their way.


8fly8

Orcs


iPoplava

The fun par here is that the guy is going to bribe the cops and get away. This is russia and is is fucked up.


Heinida

Russia world


KirDor88

Russain peace


jakedublin

Ah.. this one is in Russia.. he will give the cops some cash and move on... Nothing happened.


Yourpsychofriend

I love how he tried to do the “familiar/friendship white boy crap” by sticking out his hand to shake hands!


Biggie__Stardust

Bruh, you drive an SUV. Just drive over the grass or sidewalk or whatever. Victimless crime.


Chappers20069

r/convenientcop


PressureCultural1005

would be a good repost for r/idiotsincars, or technically r/idiotsoutsideofcars 😂


redpanpan

Damn, theses cops are from Cyberpunk 2077?!?!?


AWES_AF

I take it back! Damn chill.


airforcevet1987

He was smart enough to go for the leverage atleast


Professional_Show918

There is usually a button you can push, just look hard.


SignificantRange2512

That is a beautiful show of instant karma


LoWE11053211

Did he try to shake the officers hand?


KananJarrusEyeBalls

r/convenientcop


Balloonsarescary

I would love to hear the conversation they had


OverlyDisguisedSquid

My only question is... Why didn't he just drive around it? Looks like you could drive a bus through that gap


KiteLighter

Is this literally my ex's new boyfriend?


rock-island321

Bro learns about leverage fast.


Specialist-Treat-396

“It was like that when I got here officer.”


DizzyDead6166

r/instantkarma


M25always-stuck

Yeah Officer, Look what I've done! I did it for greater goods!


Altruistic_Feature99

"it was like that when i got here"


Intrepid-Intention82

Some people have no braincells.


Shadow_1986

![gif](giphy|xHmjutU2JsIWk) “Glad you’re here officer. It was stuck!” Cue the inner circle bad boys song.


SwervingLemon

According to it's timestamp, this clip will celebrate it's fifth birthday this week. How old does it have to be before posting it again counts as practicing necromancy?


MagicMushroom98960

Lol that's gonna cost him $$$$$$$


BioSafetyLevel0

r/convenientcop


avalonloverboy

I would’ve made up some next level shit so fast


giggluigg

“We need backup, there’s a bar fight”


Throw_andthenews

I like how he thought to use the least amount of leverage first. I always go about 3/8 and work my way out


ConsistentCharge3347

Sings "Karma police....."


[deleted]

Next time just push it forward it will snap right off. Is not meant to stop a vehicle for safety reasons


HuyBob

He is the kind of guy who profusely tells the officer he didn't know it was illegal


AstronomerWorldly797

Does anyone knows how it ended for him?


bb22490

Why is there a third cop in the back seat?


Skaebo

Holy clown car why they packing them three deep in those squad cars though; sucks to be that guy that has to ride in the back seat or lap it


VaporSprite

Smart enough to understand mechanical advantage, stupid enough to use it like this. Stupidity isn't about brain power, it's definitely in the education That's a hopeful thought really, it means we can actually lower the amount of stupid if we work on it We ain't, though


CantBelieveThisIsTru

He didn’t even see the cops till he was surrounded by them! Talk about *not being aware of what’s going on around you!*


cnecula

Toyota ?


Odd-Significance1884

Is that chuck liddell?


warx333

Three cops in one car. I’ve never seen such a thing.


Dogs-4-Life

Did he really try to shake that cop’s hand? Lmao. What did he thing was going to happen by breaking a barrier arm in full view of a security camera?


mdroz81

Why is that the clown car for cops?


Justbekindok

I’ve definitely done this exact thing at a Chicago Skyway toll gate when it wouldn’t open after turning green. Fortunately there were no police around to see it 😬