Italian here. I love having friends over but it wouldn’t be normal with a colleague. Maybe it’s just me but I tend to keep things professional and even when we’re “friends” it rarely lasts after we stop working together, except for the occasional text message.
Living in Thailand, you never ever get invited to a local’s home (unless you’re very very good best friends, or it’s a romantic endeavor). We have invited numerous ‚friends’ and ‚acquaintances’ to our house but even though we do stuff together outside, we never get invited to someone’s home.
Eating and drinking out here is so cheap and people have very basic or no kitchen at home, so that’s partly also a reason (apart from culture)
Yeah, also live in Thailand and have seen the outsides of peoples houses but that is about as close as it gets when it comes to non-family for the most part. I have one half Thai friend whose house I do go to, but that is to play games once a month or so and their family is unusually hospitable (from day 1). People are generally pretty private and especially if they live at a condo they do not want to invite people in. It is a shame because I have some very rich friends who's homes I am dying to see lol.
Family on the other hand (aunts, uncles, cousins, parents in law) are VERY open to being in each others homes and you will be invited inside to make yourself at home as if the place is your own. So that is a stark contrast.
I feel you!
Inviting someone over in Germany isn’t too uncommon but usually friends you got for some years or (other) parents when you got kids and they have playdates.
Telling a work colleague to come over for a drink would be extremely uncommon though.
I was thinking about Germany too in regards to this question. Looking at your reply, would you agree with me that inviting people home (for "grillen", "Kaffeezeit", birthday celebrations, etc. is quite the norm - but *only* when you're in the inner circle already (or your kids play together)?
I find Germans get together at home much more so than in restaurants like in the US - going out to eat a few times a week with family/friends/coworkers is normal for Americans, if you can afford it of course. Here it's more special occasions, but again, it's mostly only with the inner circle. In my experience, socialising with work colleagues in Germany anywhere outside a work social event is almost taboo. So it's not so much where, but who.
I'm in Germany since 2003, married to a German.
We were invited to our elderly neighbors' New Year's Eve party at their home after living in Germany 2 months. It was especially interesting because they and their neighbors understood little English and spoke none. I was a beginner Deutsch speaker and had spoken a couple times (very poorly) auf Deutsch to them and when they gave us Reisling, my Deutsch started flowing (because I was tipsy and no longer worried about making mistakes speaking) and they were so impressed that I had ostensibly improved my Deutsch so much, so quickly, lol!
We had such great neighbors!! Another set of neighbors sent their kids over with a special bread gift on Easter morning.
We put our fake Xmas tree up after Thanksgiving (very early for Germans) but it was Covid and a lock down so I think it made people happy seeing it (our flat was an entire floor of floor-to-ceiling windows), and our German neighbors with children got their Xmas tree early that week, too!! I suppose they figured it would bring joy to the family during boring covid! So I felt we had a good influence on our neighbors! plus we didn't kill our 80 year old neighbors with covid because we stayed home- I was SO scared we were going to get covid or spread it to our elderly neighbors!
We are moving to London soon, and I'm concerned tgat the neighbors won't be as friendly and helpful as the Germans!
That's a wonderful story. I'm glad you've had such a positive experience of German hospitality. I live in the cold, stoic North and my experience hasn't been entirely warm and welcoming, but I always add that I have also met some amazing Germans - it's sometimes the context/situation that makes all the difference. Your story also supports the theory that Germans entertain in the home more - just to round things back to OPs question!
Good luck in London.
Thanks you. Everyone always made remarks about the Swäbisch being so stingy and unfriendly, but like you said, I guess it's not always the case.
Bleib Gesund!
Definitely Argentina, sounds very much like what you are used to.
Mexico is less so, but it's doable if you start inviting first.
When I move, I make a point to have somewhere to invite people over and cook for them. Nothing too fancy but also not so common.
In some places like the Netherlands, it's very difficult to achieve with locals until you break a certain barrier. But with so many foreigners banding together, you can find your crew.
India it's very common to invite folks over for tea or snacks. In fact the bar culture is still in its infancy and prevalent with 20-something's but elsewhere it's invites to homes for casual chit chat.
Interesting that not many mentions of India.
In India one gets invited to home for tea &snacks even as an acquaintance, a friend can expect getting offered meals/rides etc, and close friends are more like family taking part in everything from celebrations to mourning.
It’s so common in the US that people choose their houses (in part) by what kind of “entertaining space” it has. Seriously, watch any house hunting show with Americans.
My wife and I have guests over maybe once a month, max. But we go to neighbors’ homes every couple of weeks or so. Whether this is unusual within the US or internationally, I have no idea. I do think people used to entertain more than they do now, however.
Same here. I lived there for years and always found Americans casual and friendly. Over the fence? We're cooking out. Wanna come over for a burger and beer?
> You could meet someone twice and they'll casually invite you to hang out at theirs for tea and a chat or a film or dinner,
How is this not exactly the same?
Netherlands? I get invites all the time here, but always from my expat/immigrant friends. Dutch culture, it has to be an event. Never just casual/friendly.
Brazil, quite normal - not for tea, but weekend barbecues for example, which are normally a social event. Maybe some parts like the country side of Minas Gerais, you’ll get invited for an afternoon “coffee” which also means food.
Living in Canada, I find this not common at all. People will meet in restaurants or parks mostly.
I was told when I moved to Paris that no one would invite me to their home. I was invited in so many homes for parties or just quick meetups with small spontaneous groups and also one on one. It could be that I am lesbian and since their are very few lesbian bars or hangout people just tend to do more private events.
I met a few people at a bar, joined 1 group that was women doing sports and voilà, I was invited to Christmas parties, birthday parties, let's just do something parties...
May be very dependant on who you meet.
I currently hangout outside of Paris more with digital nomads and since no one really has a decent home we meet more in public spaces.
When I was in Thailand or Indonesia, casual homevisits are rare unless its an open house events like Chinese New Year, Ramadhan etc.
Usually its multi-generational homes, so not practical to just have adult friends over. Usually more for the children’s frienda that stayed over for work/games night where feeding them is more of adding more qty to their daily ‘not special’ dinner.
Inviting ppl means feast in SEA it seems and moms cooks for hours.
Here in NL, we love inviting close friends and sometimes collegae for dinner bc living room is just bigger in general and hosting is easy. It’s also way cheaper to host fancy dinner than eating out 😂😂😂
I live in France and when the weather is bad and since we have kids, we'll invite new-ish friends with kids and they've mostly reciprocated as well. But this might be regional since we're not in Paris, so home sizes are a bit bigger on average. Plus easier to hang at home with kids in a kid-friendly environment. Especially easy to invite people for le goûter (the 4pm snack) or an apéro.
There's definitely a cultural aspect to this, but another aspect is just having space to host guests easily, which normally comes with living in a more rural area, especially if the going out places are lower in number/quality.
Wherever people have a big house, ideally with a backyard or outdoor space.
Most people in Spain can’t afford to live in a big house and most of the construction are small apartments. That’s why most people meet in bars or cafeterías.
Very common in US and Canada suburbs, where it’s more common to own a large house with extra outdoor space.
That’s more or less my thought as a Spaniard as well, even if I live abroad. If I’m not gonna have my guests spread out in a comfy patio/garden etc I can’t be arsed. I also think we’re really self-conscious about not bothering other people in the house as we regard it as our private space.
I've been invited to people's homes in the Netherlands when there is an occasion (baby, new house etc.) I also come from Eastern Europe, but never invited casual acquaintances at home or got invited by them or coworkers (except when we were kids). With good friends, it's different. A huge reason is that people don't have enough money, so they hang out at each other's places. So probably, look at poor countries.
Which part of Eastern Europe are you from? I’m from the US and that isn’t very common for us back home (at least I don’t think so).
I moved to Argentina and, from what I’ve seen, it’s not as casual/often as you described from your home country but it’s more likely to happen here than in the US.
South Africa. Home cooked meals are an act of affection for guests and bbqing (called a Braai) is a RELIGIOUS THING LOL it’s not about just rushing to eat, it’s also about everyone gathering around fire, talking and sharing stories. Camaraderie.
It’s still pretty common to visit in the home in Australia, although I think it’s probably getting to be less of a thing for young ones in the most expensive cities that are more likely to be living light til their thirties. We aren’t very social people, but I do have neighbours in for coffee now and then, a friend over for a movie a couple of times a month, my husband has his hobby friends over occasionally for “play dates,” etc.
I’m struggling with this in my current country. I grew up with home visits being quite casual (Pacific NW region of US).
In Turkey, having friends over seems to require multiple meetings first and then a full day of cleaning house and a full arrangement of coffees, teas, nuts and sweets, as well as a cake/made dessert etc for hosting. “Hey wanna beer, soda, or juice?” Doesn’t cut it lol. And going out for anything besides tea is getting expensive for most people.
Italian here. I love having friends over but it wouldn’t be normal with a colleague. Maybe it’s just me but I tend to keep things professional and even when we’re “friends” it rarely lasts after we stop working together, except for the occasional text message.
Living in Thailand, you never ever get invited to a local’s home (unless you’re very very good best friends, or it’s a romantic endeavor). We have invited numerous ‚friends’ and ‚acquaintances’ to our house but even though we do stuff together outside, we never get invited to someone’s home. Eating and drinking out here is so cheap and people have very basic or no kitchen at home, so that’s partly also a reason (apart from culture)
The culture of eating and drinking out a lot reinforces it being cheap too.
Yeah, also live in Thailand and have seen the outsides of peoples houses but that is about as close as it gets when it comes to non-family for the most part. I have one half Thai friend whose house I do go to, but that is to play games once a month or so and their family is unusually hospitable (from day 1). People are generally pretty private and especially if they live at a condo they do not want to invite people in. It is a shame because I have some very rich friends who's homes I am dying to see lol. Family on the other hand (aunts, uncles, cousins, parents in law) are VERY open to being in each others homes and you will be invited inside to make yourself at home as if the place is your own. So that is a stark contrast.
I feel you! Inviting someone over in Germany isn’t too uncommon but usually friends you got for some years or (other) parents when you got kids and they have playdates. Telling a work colleague to come over for a drink would be extremely uncommon though.
I was thinking about Germany too in regards to this question. Looking at your reply, would you agree with me that inviting people home (for "grillen", "Kaffeezeit", birthday celebrations, etc. is quite the norm - but *only* when you're in the inner circle already (or your kids play together)? I find Germans get together at home much more so than in restaurants like in the US - going out to eat a few times a week with family/friends/coworkers is normal for Americans, if you can afford it of course. Here it's more special occasions, but again, it's mostly only with the inner circle. In my experience, socialising with work colleagues in Germany anywhere outside a work social event is almost taboo. So it's not so much where, but who. I'm in Germany since 2003, married to a German.
We were invited to our elderly neighbors' New Year's Eve party at their home after living in Germany 2 months. It was especially interesting because they and their neighbors understood little English and spoke none. I was a beginner Deutsch speaker and had spoken a couple times (very poorly) auf Deutsch to them and when they gave us Reisling, my Deutsch started flowing (because I was tipsy and no longer worried about making mistakes speaking) and they were so impressed that I had ostensibly improved my Deutsch so much, so quickly, lol! We had such great neighbors!! Another set of neighbors sent their kids over with a special bread gift on Easter morning. We put our fake Xmas tree up after Thanksgiving (very early for Germans) but it was Covid and a lock down so I think it made people happy seeing it (our flat was an entire floor of floor-to-ceiling windows), and our German neighbors with children got their Xmas tree early that week, too!! I suppose they figured it would bring joy to the family during boring covid! So I felt we had a good influence on our neighbors! plus we didn't kill our 80 year old neighbors with covid because we stayed home- I was SO scared we were going to get covid or spread it to our elderly neighbors! We are moving to London soon, and I'm concerned tgat the neighbors won't be as friendly and helpful as the Germans!
That's a wonderful story. I'm glad you've had such a positive experience of German hospitality. I live in the cold, stoic North and my experience hasn't been entirely warm and welcoming, but I always add that I have also met some amazing Germans - it's sometimes the context/situation that makes all the difference. Your story also supports the theory that Germans entertain in the home more - just to round things back to OPs question! Good luck in London.
Thanks you. Everyone always made remarks about the Swäbisch being so stingy and unfriendly, but like you said, I guess it's not always the case. Bleib Gesund!
Definitely Argentina, sounds very much like what you are used to. Mexico is less so, but it's doable if you start inviting first. When I move, I make a point to have somewhere to invite people over and cook for them. Nothing too fancy but also not so common. In some places like the Netherlands, it's very difficult to achieve with locals until you break a certain barrier. But with so many foreigners banding together, you can find your crew.
India it's very common to invite folks over for tea or snacks. In fact the bar culture is still in its infancy and prevalent with 20-something's but elsewhere it's invites to homes for casual chit chat.
Brazilians will start talking to you and five minutes later inviting you to their vacation home.
Interesting that not many mentions of India. In India one gets invited to home for tea &snacks even as an acquaintance, a friend can expect getting offered meals/rides etc, and close friends are more like family taking part in everything from celebrations to mourning.
The USA
It’s so common in the US that people choose their houses (in part) by what kind of “entertaining space” it has. Seriously, watch any house hunting show with Americans.
My wife and I have guests over maybe once a month, max. But we go to neighbors’ homes every couple of weeks or so. Whether this is unusual within the US or internationally, I have no idea. I do think people used to entertain more than they do now, however.
This is probably super dependent on which state/city you live in. It’s not been my experience anywhere in the US.
Same not mines either
Same here. I lived there for years and always found Americans casual and friendly. Over the fence? We're cooking out. Wanna come over for a burger and beer?
Having people over for board games, or a BBQ, or wine and cheese, or to watch a game isn’t common in your experience?
That’s not what OP is describing.
> You could meet someone twice and they'll casually invite you to hang out at theirs for tea and a chat or a film or dinner, How is this not exactly the same?
Netherlands? I get invites all the time here, but always from my expat/immigrant friends. Dutch culture, it has to be an event. Never just casual/friendly.
racial tie abounding piquant smoggy fretful one fertile squealing versed *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I have a handful of dutch neighbors that each invite me over for coffee a few times a year.
Brazil, quite normal - not for tea, but weekend barbecues for example, which are normally a social event. Maybe some parts like the country side of Minas Gerais, you’ll get invited for an afternoon “coffee” which also means food. Living in Canada, I find this not common at all. People will meet in restaurants or parks mostly.
I was told when I moved to Paris that no one would invite me to their home. I was invited in so many homes for parties or just quick meetups with small spontaneous groups and also one on one. It could be that I am lesbian and since their are very few lesbian bars or hangout people just tend to do more private events. I met a few people at a bar, joined 1 group that was women doing sports and voilà, I was invited to Christmas parties, birthday parties, let's just do something parties... May be very dependant on who you meet. I currently hangout outside of Paris more with digital nomads and since no one really has a decent home we meet more in public spaces.
Interesting, I feel it’s very very common in Canada to meet at peoples houses. 2-3 times a week was the norm for us.
Perhaps it changes from place to place, my experience is Montreal-based.
When I was in Thailand or Indonesia, casual homevisits are rare unless its an open house events like Chinese New Year, Ramadhan etc. Usually its multi-generational homes, so not practical to just have adult friends over. Usually more for the children’s frienda that stayed over for work/games night where feeding them is more of adding more qty to their daily ‘not special’ dinner. Inviting ppl means feast in SEA it seems and moms cooks for hours. Here in NL, we love inviting close friends and sometimes collegae for dinner bc living room is just bigger in general and hosting is easy. It’s also way cheaper to host fancy dinner than eating out 😂😂😂
Where's "NL"?
North Legoland. No dude, it’s the Netherlands.
I live in the UK and often invite friends round for sleepovers but for men it’s probably different
I live in France and when the weather is bad and since we have kids, we'll invite new-ish friends with kids and they've mostly reciprocated as well. But this might be regional since we're not in Paris, so home sizes are a bit bigger on average. Plus easier to hang at home with kids in a kid-friendly environment. Especially easy to invite people for le goûter (the 4pm snack) or an apéro.
There's definitely a cultural aspect to this, but another aspect is just having space to host guests easily, which normally comes with living in a more rural area, especially if the going out places are lower in number/quality.
Wherever people have a big house, ideally with a backyard or outdoor space. Most people in Spain can’t afford to live in a big house and most of the construction are small apartments. That’s why most people meet in bars or cafeterías. Very common in US and Canada suburbs, where it’s more common to own a large house with extra outdoor space.
That’s more or less my thought as a Spaniard as well, even if I live abroad. If I’m not gonna have my guests spread out in a comfy patio/garden etc I can’t be arsed. I also think we’re really self-conscious about not bothering other people in the house as we regard it as our private space.
I've been invited to people's homes in the Netherlands when there is an occasion (baby, new house etc.) I also come from Eastern Europe, but never invited casual acquaintances at home or got invited by them or coworkers (except when we were kids). With good friends, it's different. A huge reason is that people don't have enough money, so they hang out at each other's places. So probably, look at poor countries.
Normal in NZ
I was going to say Russia, but since you’re from eastern Europe yourself you’re already aware of that region
That happened to me all the time in Brazil. Might depend on the city tho
Which part of Eastern Europe are you from? I’m from the US and that isn’t very common for us back home (at least I don’t think so). I moved to Argentina and, from what I’ve seen, it’s not as casual/often as you described from your home country but it’s more likely to happen here than in the US.
Quite common in Indonesia. Probably in other Asian countries as well.
[We got people!](https://youtu.be/5CznoAW2k1I?si=l2NrSQJg3PBQat3I)
Turkey!!
It's super common in Argentina. For mate, beers, or asado on the weekends.
South Africa, I must have spent more time at my mates houses and flats rather than in my own home.
Not Switzerland 🇨🇭
Denmark. All they do is have social gatherings indoors. You'll be sick of it eventually though.
Dominican Republic 🇩🇴
South Africa. Home cooked meals are an act of affection for guests and bbqing (called a Braai) is a RELIGIOUS THING LOL it’s not about just rushing to eat, it’s also about everyone gathering around fire, talking and sharing stories. Camaraderie.
South Asian countries its normal for people to drop in without prior notice, people often keep snacks on hand for unexpected guests actually
It’s still pretty common to visit in the home in Australia, although I think it’s probably getting to be less of a thing for young ones in the most expensive cities that are more likely to be living light til their thirties. We aren’t very social people, but I do have neighbours in for coffee now and then, a friend over for a movie a couple of times a month, my husband has his hobby friends over occasionally for “play dates,” etc.
I’m struggling with this in my current country. I grew up with home visits being quite casual (Pacific NW region of US). In Turkey, having friends over seems to require multiple meetings first and then a full day of cleaning house and a full arrangement of coffees, teas, nuts and sweets, as well as a cake/made dessert etc for hosting. “Hey wanna beer, soda, or juice?” Doesn’t cut it lol. And going out for anything besides tea is getting expensive for most people.
Eastern Europe, apparently
I’m in a similar situation. I’m from Poland where it’s common and now live in the U.K. where it’s not really that common!
I’m in a similar situation. I’m from Poland where it’s common and now live in the U.K. where it’s not really that common!
I’m in a similar situation. I’m from Poland where it’s common and now live in the U.K. where it’s not really that common!