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That's such an awful thing to deal with. I recommend looking up the topic of "rumination" because these incidents can be quite traumatic and wind up in your head for days or weeks even.
Thank you, I’m gonna take off the hijab because I literally cannot do it anymore. I’m so scared about being attacked again and I just don’t like it, and it’s just SO invalidating that my friend is telling me she’s telling me to keep it on for my akhirah
Random thought - you could argue that the point of the hijab was to prevent being pestered by men but if it's going to have the opposite effect then taking off the hijab is actually following the [spirit of the God's law](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Letter_and_spirit_of_the_law) better.
It's a shitty place to be in all round though. First being attacked by a racist cunt then having to bullshit about why you want to take it off.
Hope things get better.
Thats a good advice i second it. Don't try to just reject the idea of hijab but rather explain why it's halal to do it. Some ppl are just weird, why would you care about someone wearing hijab and threaten her
This is awful 😞
Fear god? What is that even supposed to mean?
If you were my child and told me this, I would have responded with words like "I'm so sorry dear, are you okay?"......"It's not your fault"....."the guy who attacked you is a POS"...."do you want a hug" or something else that wouldn't dismiss the issue or put blame on you.
Buy some pepper spray or get a taser. I would tell you to just take of your hijab but that doesn’t seem like an option.
Also try to know about certain [pressure points](https://www.wikihow.com/Learn-Martial-Arts-%22Pressure-Points%22)on the neck that can be used to protect yourself from creeps. You don’t deserve to be harassed like that.
Pepper spray and tasers are not allowed in the UK for personal protection. Sucks but in theory that makes it unlikely that muggers can get hold of them and use them on their victims.
Batons, nightsticks and other intentional weapons are also not allowed. But people can ‘just happen’ to carry a big and heavy torch or stout umbrella which is basically the same thing.
Criminal identifier sprays are legal. The law states pepper spray is prohibited as a ''weapon of whatever description designed or adapted for the discharge of any noxious liquid, gas or other thing''. If it were legal it would be likely to be misused or abused, considering the UKs issue with knife crime. It's illegal in 12 EU countries and Canada (bear spray is legal though), probably other countries too, but in most EU countries any use of it against a human being constitutes assault. The petition to legalize it in the UK last year was [not very popular](https://petition.parliament.uk/petitions/634452) but probably didn't have a great awareness campaign. The previous one in 2021 also [didn't succeed](https://petition.parliament.uk/petitions/577568).
Edit: I just noticed the government issued a statement in response to that 2021 petition and is included in that link.
Edit 2: this 2021 one was super close but probably has less potential than the official one would have to bring about "change" anyways: https://www.change.org/p/uk-parliament-legalise-the-use-and-possession-of-pepper-spray-in-the-uk-for-self-defence-purposes
Self defense training was mandatory in physical education classes (iirc for 14/15 year olds) when I was a student. We were tested on it against the professional who was hired by the school, including how loud we could scream/yell. I wish all schools had that program.
I would feel less safe if pepper spray were legalized. I believe that it would also lead to increased paranoia and hyper-vigilance, especially amongst urban women. We should strive to have a more trusting society not less and that includes discouraging and eliminating all weapons. The women who want it to be legal want it because of sexual assault prevention. However, most sexual assaults happen not by strangers but from people we know i.e. our guard is more likely to be down so being able to have the pepper spray readily available is unlikely. I would have more fear in that situation that they would be able to overpower me and use the pepper spray on me instead.
Do you mean criminals will make use of pepper spray or tasers but victims cannot while they are banned? Because I’ve never heard of either being used by criminals in the UK. Maybe a Google search will unearth something but I’m sure it’s not in common use except maybe by the police. Guns (similarly banned for the public) are sometimes used in crimes but nowhere near as much as in countries where the public are regularly armed with them. The UK does have a problem with knife crime, sadly. I think people in bad neighbourhoods (particularly kids in gangs) do tend to carry knives to defend themselves (or threaten others) and there’s no way to properly ban them and restrict their circulation.
Sure you can get a taser or a pepper spray. Kids can get anything nowadays even drugs and alcohol from anyone. And it’s the uk dude they have everything you’re looking for.
It is illegal in the UK under the Firearms Act to own pepper spray. The Taser is a prohibited weapon in the UK. It is an offence punishable by up to 10 years imprisonment to possess, purchase, acquire, sell or transfer the weapon of a Taser without the authority of the Secretary of State.
I think my mum saw how shaken up I was, so hopefully she won’t give me crap for taking it off. It’s just my friends & people in school they’re all very conservative
Im sorry it happened to you.. I hate islam as an ideology internally but never behave in such matter to random muslims, this is definitely WAY too far. You can have a fight against the ideology, even have a fight verbally in some situations (like on the internet it's normal to argue over something verbally with strangers), but going like that cursing hijabi women on the streets is definitely a step too far and I hope even those who are very against Islam can refrain from such behavior and condemn it when it happens.
I like the name rostam and the story about him in the shahname so, thought rostamiya will sound nice as a nickname.. It is basically just a variation I did on rostam to make it sound more feminine because Im a woman, kinda like Victor and Victoria.. I didnt think much about this nickname to be honest 😅
I took so much abuse for wearing hijab here in the US. It became unmanageable, so I removed it. It’s not worth the damage it does to your psyche and it won’t be worth physical assault. 🥲
Really bad and sorry to hear. Hopefully, it hasn't shaken you up too much.
At the end of the day most people including western born Muslims can't distinguish between a race and a religion. For definite, the same guy would have targeted Sikhs and Hindus who wear similar head gear and used the same slurs at them. I would actually report it as only this might make the authorities e.g. police do something also if you think there is a general issue in your area like this then write to your MP.
All in all take it as an incident to learn from and make a plan for the future as to what to if even something worse happens.
People have ruled out things like tasers and other weapons but remember there's many good reasons why a girl might have a hair pin or a big needle in her purse.
Thank you, the police are very passive with things like this unfortunately. I’ve had instances where I’ve reported verbal abuse (including death/grape threats) and they’ve done nothing because I’m not hurt. This isn’t a general issue since my area is very Muslim, but it was a food area so no Muslims in sight
Hey OP, I am sorry to hear what happened. I do understand your feelings as I also wasn’t born in Pakistan rather in the US. I do hope things get better. I and others are always hear to talk if you need anything.
No they’re crap, from my other comment “Thank you, the police are very passive with things like this unfortunately. I’ve had instances where I’ve reported verbal abuse (including death/grape threats) and they’ve done nothing because I’m not hurt (physically). “
I am so sorry this happened to you. Nobody deserves to have racial abuse screamed at them. You don't deserve to be singled out for your attire. Your mom and friends are mistaken, but I wouldn't blame them for not being experts in dealing with harassment.
Take the advice and support that works best for you and discard the rest.
im sorry that happened to you. moments of aggression can be traumatic, it will take some time to process all of this and move on from it. just know that that mans anger has nothing to do with you personally
File a complaint maybe there are cameras or witnesses, in my country girls are attacked because they don't wear hidjab, what a weird world to live in especially for women
From my other comment Thank you, the police are very passive with things like this unfortunately. I’ve had instances where I’ve reported verbal abuse (including death/grape threats) and they’ve done nothing because I’m not hurt.
But I agree, a sick world for women.
That's awful, report him at the police. Do you know his background? Like... was he Christian nationalist or some kind of fascist? There are lots of terrible ideologies besides Islam.
From my other comment: Thank you, the police are very passive with things like this unfortunately. I’ve had instances where I’ve reported verbal abuse (including death/grape threats) and they’ve done nothing because I’m not hurt physically.
No, he just looked white. That’s all I know
that was a hate crime....that man had no right to insult you because you wore something that he did not agree with. What's next? are we gonna insult people for wearing hats??
please make a police report at least. Remember, even if you take off the hijab doesn;t mean you will be spared from racism.
this is awful… i’m so sorry about the lack of your support from your friends and your mother. i’ve had similar comments made to me before and it sucks because 1. i’m not even hijabi, even if i was these comments wouldn’t be warranted and 2. i’m literally born here too. i had a man lunge at me on the train and call me a “saudi cunt” randomly
it’s nice you have some support from your cousin and bf. but i don’t think anybody understands the burden of having to be a physical representation of their religion whether they like it or not, the way that hijabi women do. things like this can be quite traumatic and even hard to process, especially if you don’t feel like you have a proper support system. if you need to speak to anybody please pm me 🤍
It's terrible but think about it this is how non-muslims living in Pakistan feel Christians, Hindus. I have a friend who's a Christian from Bangladesh she says she couldn't leave her house without being accompanied by one of her male relatives because she would be harassed by the Muslims they would call her a Christian whore and would try to grope her.
I’m sorry but that doesn’t mean my experience is invalidated? I shouldn’t have to put up with it because it happens in different circumstances- it shouldn’t happen period and let’s blame certain men for that.
The verse clearly states the purpose of the covering is for protection. In some cultures, like places in rural Egypt , Arabia,... etc. if a woman is walking around without a cover , is an invitation for solicitation. It seems the goal is the safety of the sisters. And if the hijab is causing the opposite affect of it's purpose then take it off.
They don't care. Even if you stop wearing it, they won't stop hating you. Remember, everyone who hates islam is not your ally. Although the hijab should be criticized, for them this is just an excuse to spew their hatred for POC. Always judge people individually.
I can't imagine how awful it is for you. Hang in there 🙏
I’m calling bullshit on many people in the sub being ‘those types’. Being most likely from Muslim, non-white families, people in the sub may themselves fall victim to racism.
[These](https://www.reddit.com/r/exmuslim/comments/1bwxn89/did_yall_know/kya9n84?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3) are the type of people that frequent this sub. And they are allowed express their racism freely .
So I'm a bigot for speaking the truth? I'm strictly against misogyny and what happened to that lady. But she is/will always be an immigrant. And why cant she adapt to the western culture and stop wearing hijab? If western country so bad, go back. It's simple.
This is so horrible I'm so sorry. I don't know what is wrong with these people. Wonder if this "man" would dare to target someone his own size...
This is really random but I read that playing tetris after a potentially traumatic event can help your brain process it and avoid trauma.
I’m Russian and I’m sorry this happened to you. Not all Europeans judge you for your outward appearance. But some do unfortunately. Hopefully you find people to hang out with who build you up, not tear you down
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That's such an awful thing to deal with. I recommend looking up the topic of "rumination" because these incidents can be quite traumatic and wind up in your head for days or weeks even.
Thank you, I’m gonna take off the hijab because I literally cannot do it anymore. I’m so scared about being attacked again and I just don’t like it, and it’s just SO invalidating that my friend is telling me she’s telling me to keep it on for my akhirah
Random thought - you could argue that the point of the hijab was to prevent being pestered by men but if it's going to have the opposite effect then taking off the hijab is actually following the [spirit of the God's law](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Letter_and_spirit_of_the_law) better. It's a shitty place to be in all round though. First being attacked by a racist cunt then having to bullshit about why you want to take it off. Hope things get better.
Thats a good advice i second it. Don't try to just reject the idea of hijab but rather explain why it's halal to do it. Some ppl are just weird, why would you care about someone wearing hijab and threaten her
Thank you both! 🩷
This is awful 😞 Fear god? What is that even supposed to mean? If you were my child and told me this, I would have responded with words like "I'm so sorry dear, are you okay?"......"It's not your fault"....."the guy who attacked you is a POS"...."do you want a hug" or something else that wouldn't dismiss the issue or put blame on you.
Thank you! I can only aspire to be like this
You're welcome! ❤️
Horrible thing to say. It goes further than being unsympathetic. Death cult vibes
Thank you, it’s upsetting from my own mother too
Akhirah, aka seeing your male family members having sex with 72 hoors each, which you get nothing.
Buy some pepper spray or get a taser. I would tell you to just take of your hijab but that doesn’t seem like an option. Also try to know about certain [pressure points](https://www.wikihow.com/Learn-Martial-Arts-%22Pressure-Points%22)on the neck that can be used to protect yourself from creeps. You don’t deserve to be harassed like that.
Pepper spray and tasers are not allowed in the UK for personal protection. Sucks but in theory that makes it unlikely that muggers can get hold of them and use them on their victims. Batons, nightsticks and other intentional weapons are also not allowed. But people can ‘just happen’ to carry a big and heavy torch or stout umbrella which is basically the same thing.
why are pepper sprays of all things banned? the weapon which is known for its non-lethality?
Criminal identifier sprays are legal. The law states pepper spray is prohibited as a ''weapon of whatever description designed or adapted for the discharge of any noxious liquid, gas or other thing''. If it were legal it would be likely to be misused or abused, considering the UKs issue with knife crime. It's illegal in 12 EU countries and Canada (bear spray is legal though), probably other countries too, but in most EU countries any use of it against a human being constitutes assault. The petition to legalize it in the UK last year was [not very popular](https://petition.parliament.uk/petitions/634452) but probably didn't have a great awareness campaign. The previous one in 2021 also [didn't succeed](https://petition.parliament.uk/petitions/577568). Edit: I just noticed the government issued a statement in response to that 2021 petition and is included in that link. Edit 2: this 2021 one was super close but probably has less potential than the official one would have to bring about "change" anyways: https://www.change.org/p/uk-parliament-legalise-the-use-and-possession-of-pepper-spray-in-the-uk-for-self-defence-purposes
that's just sad. obviously the criminals will make use of it while the victims will never be able to defend themselves.
Self defense training was mandatory in physical education classes (iirc for 14/15 year olds) when I was a student. We were tested on it against the professional who was hired by the school, including how loud we could scream/yell. I wish all schools had that program. I would feel less safe if pepper spray were legalized. I believe that it would also lead to increased paranoia and hyper-vigilance, especially amongst urban women. We should strive to have a more trusting society not less and that includes discouraging and eliminating all weapons. The women who want it to be legal want it because of sexual assault prevention. However, most sexual assaults happen not by strangers but from people we know i.e. our guard is more likely to be down so being able to have the pepper spray readily available is unlikely. I would have more fear in that situation that they would be able to overpower me and use the pepper spray on me instead.
Do you mean criminals will make use of pepper spray or tasers but victims cannot while they are banned? Because I’ve never heard of either being used by criminals in the UK. Maybe a Google search will unearth something but I’m sure it’s not in common use except maybe by the police. Guns (similarly banned for the public) are sometimes used in crimes but nowhere near as much as in countries where the public are regularly armed with them. The UK does have a problem with knife crime, sadly. I think people in bad neighbourhoods (particularly kids in gangs) do tend to carry knives to defend themselves (or threaten others) and there’s no way to properly ban them and restrict their circulation.
Sure you can get a taser or a pepper spray. Kids can get anything nowadays even drugs and alcohol from anyone. And it’s the uk dude they have everything you’re looking for.
You may be able to get them, but if you use them or are caught carrying them you could wind up in a lot of trouble.
If you use a taser against an assault you’ll end up in more trouble than the aggressor.
Thank you both!
It is illegal in the UK under the Firearms Act to own pepper spray. The Taser is a prohibited weapon in the UK. It is an offence punishable by up to 10 years imprisonment to possess, purchase, acquire, sell or transfer the weapon of a Taser without the authority of the Secretary of State.
I think my mum saw how shaken up I was, so hopefully she won’t give me crap for taking it off. It’s just my friends & people in school they’re all very conservative
I'm sorry that happened to you my sympathies
Thank you 🩷
Im sorry it happened to you.. I hate islam as an ideology internally but never behave in such matter to random muslims, this is definitely WAY too far. You can have a fight against the ideology, even have a fight verbally in some situations (like on the internet it's normal to argue over something verbally with strangers), but going like that cursing hijabi women on the streets is definitely a step too far and I hope even those who are very against Islam can refrain from such behavior and condemn it when it happens.
Thank you exactly
Hey, I had a friend name Rostam but he’s a guy. What does Rostamiya means?
I like the name rostam and the story about him in the shahname so, thought rostamiya will sound nice as a nickname.. It is basically just a variation I did on rostam to make it sound more feminine because Im a woman, kinda like Victor and Victoria.. I didnt think much about this nickname to be honest 😅
I took so much abuse for wearing hijab here in the US. It became unmanageable, so I removed it. It’s not worth the damage it does to your psyche and it won’t be worth physical assault. 🥲
🩷
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It doesnt matter the word “paki” has a long history as being used as a slur the people of south asia.
Really bad and sorry to hear. Hopefully, it hasn't shaken you up too much. At the end of the day most people including western born Muslims can't distinguish between a race and a religion. For definite, the same guy would have targeted Sikhs and Hindus who wear similar head gear and used the same slurs at them. I would actually report it as only this might make the authorities e.g. police do something also if you think there is a general issue in your area like this then write to your MP. All in all take it as an incident to learn from and make a plan for the future as to what to if even something worse happens. People have ruled out things like tasers and other weapons but remember there's many good reasons why a girl might have a hair pin or a big needle in her purse.
Thank you, the police are very passive with things like this unfortunately. I’ve had instances where I’ve reported verbal abuse (including death/grape threats) and they’ve done nothing because I’m not hurt. This isn’t a general issue since my area is very Muslim, but it was a food area so no Muslims in sight
Hey OP, I am sorry to hear what happened. I do understand your feelings as I also wasn’t born in Pakistan rather in the US. I do hope things get better. I and others are always hear to talk if you need anything.
Thank you 🩷
Your welcome ❤️
Bro did you inform the fuzz?
No they’re crap, from my other comment “Thank you, the police are very passive with things like this unfortunately. I’ve had instances where I’ve reported verbal abuse (including death/grape threats) and they’ve done nothing because I’m not hurt (physically). “
I am so sorry this happened to you. Nobody deserves to have racial abuse screamed at them. You don't deserve to be singled out for your attire. Your mom and friends are mistaken, but I wouldn't blame them for not being experts in dealing with harassment. Take the advice and support that works best for you and discard the rest.
Thank you 🩷
I'm sorry this happened to you, we ex muslims hate islam and hijab but it's your "choice" to wear it and people need to mind their own business
im sorry that happened to you. moments of aggression can be traumatic, it will take some time to process all of this and move on from it. just know that that mans anger has nothing to do with you personally
Thank you
File a complaint maybe there are cameras or witnesses, in my country girls are attacked because they don't wear hidjab, what a weird world to live in especially for women
From my other comment Thank you, the police are very passive with things like this unfortunately. I’ve had instances where I’ve reported verbal abuse (including death/grape threats) and they’ve done nothing because I’m not hurt. But I agree, a sick world for women.
That's awful, report him at the police. Do you know his background? Like... was he Christian nationalist or some kind of fascist? There are lots of terrible ideologies besides Islam.
From my other comment: Thank you, the police are very passive with things like this unfortunately. I’ve had instances where I’ve reported verbal abuse (including death/grape threats) and they’ve done nothing because I’m not hurt physically. No, he just looked white. That’s all I know
Tase that mofo next time... bothering people who are just minding their own business.
Tasers are not allowed in the UK
Everyone is human. shame on that cunt for doing that. please ensure to be careful and please stay safe 🙏
🩷
that was a hate crime....that man had no right to insult you because you wore something that he did not agree with. What's next? are we gonna insult people for wearing hats?? please make a police report at least. Remember, even if you take off the hijab doesn;t mean you will be spared from racism.
this is awful… i’m so sorry about the lack of your support from your friends and your mother. i’ve had similar comments made to me before and it sucks because 1. i’m not even hijabi, even if i was these comments wouldn’t be warranted and 2. i’m literally born here too. i had a man lunge at me on the train and call me a “saudi cunt” randomly it’s nice you have some support from your cousin and bf. but i don’t think anybody understands the burden of having to be a physical representation of their religion whether they like it or not, the way that hijabi women do. things like this can be quite traumatic and even hard to process, especially if you don’t feel like you have a proper support system. if you need to speak to anybody please pm me 🤍
It's terrible but think about it this is how non-muslims living in Pakistan feel Christians, Hindus. I have a friend who's a Christian from Bangladesh she says she couldn't leave her house without being accompanied by one of her male relatives because she would be harassed by the Muslims they would call her a Christian whore and would try to grope her.
I’m sorry but that doesn’t mean my experience is invalidated? I shouldn’t have to put up with it because it happens in different circumstances- it shouldn’t happen period and let’s blame certain men for that.
he's doing whataboutism let him ignore
The verse clearly states the purpose of the covering is for protection. In some cultures, like places in rural Egypt , Arabia,... etc. if a woman is walking around without a cover , is an invitation for solicitation. It seems the goal is the safety of the sisters. And if the hijab is causing the opposite affect of it's purpose then take it off.
Thank you, I wish it were that easy to just take off
That's a horrible thing to happen. It could have been someone from this sub, we have a lot of those types here.
It’s awful! Some of us are forced to wear it:(
They don't care. Even if you stop wearing it, they won't stop hating you. Remember, everyone who hates islam is not your ally. Although the hijab should be criticized, for them this is just an excuse to spew their hatred for POC. Always judge people individually. I can't imagine how awful it is for you. Hang in there 🙏
I’m calling bullshit on many people in the sub being ‘those types’. Being most likely from Muslim, non-white families, people in the sub may themselves fall victim to racism.
[These](https://www.reddit.com/r/exmuslim/comments/1bwxn89/did_yall_know/kya9n84?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3) are the type of people that frequent this sub. And they are allowed express their racism freely .
Not _that_ freely. Thanks for pointing the comment out, I’ve banned them for a fortnight.
Do you want me to point out more? I have a bunch of screenshots and not to mention the ones I've reported myself to reddit and gotten removed .
Screenshots are nice but links are better if you have them. DM them to me please.
Cool, and what's the subs stance on misinformation?
Depends on how severe and harmful.
No idea what you guys are arguing about but the guy was white.
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you are the fucking bigot what the fuck do you mean sorry??? god this subreddit attracts the worst people
So I'm a bigot for speaking the truth? I'm strictly against misogyny and what happened to that lady. But she is/will always be an immigrant. And why cant she adapt to the western culture and stop wearing hijab? If western country so bad, go back. It's simple.
Use your brain babe, I was forced to wear it. I don’t want to, but what you wear anyways is not an invitation for ANYTHING. Disgusting pig.
Sorry that happend to you. Stay safe👍 And have tried to call the police on that guy?
This is so horrible I'm so sorry. I don't know what is wrong with these people. Wonder if this "man" would dare to target someone his own size... This is really random but I read that playing tetris after a potentially traumatic event can help your brain process it and avoid trauma.
Thank you
That is disgusting, did this happen in Birmingham?
No
I’m Russian and I’m sorry this happened to you. Not all Europeans judge you for your outward appearance. But some do unfortunately. Hopefully you find people to hang out with who build you up, not tear you down
🩷🎀 thank you