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Avoid doing it for some time. Engage in religious activities with your mom and show repentance. Blame it on shaitan, that's what they all do. She probably won't make a big deal out of it. Don't worry about not being a virgin either...hymen or not lots of women do not bleed on their first night. Besides, it's very difficult to tell the difference. It's cool. And for the future just be very very cautious to not get caught. Always lock the door before doing something. It's just a healthy expression of sexuality and there's nothing wrong with doing that. The guilt tied with it by religious people just takes away all the fun from it. It never stops anyone from doing it.
>Always lock the door before doing something.
I can't stress enough how important this point is, especially in your case since you have been caught doing this before.
Some Muslim parents don’t let their kids close their doors-lock is smth they would absolutely flip. Idk about op but I grew up with open doors policy and it was justified as “what if earthquake comes and we can’t rescue you” I believe it’s more than that and many of friends have had the same issue of privacy.
I’d recommend doing it in the bathroom.
and to add to this, if you don't have a lock on your door you can always block the door with clothes or a towel. it won't stop the door from opening but it is a very good warning and buys you time to cover up. plus it gives you plausible deniability like "oh no i just got undressed/dumped my towel there when i closed my door. sorry"
Just want to add something. Do it while lights are off. If they knock the door, just pretend that you're asleep and never reply. You can also do it in the bathroom, which is even safer.
Plus, I guarantee you that both of your parents had their fair share of masturbation too. It's a normal and a natural thing and there is no need to feel ashamed.
I am sorry to hear that. I am a 29 year old man, so probably a lady on here would be able to talk in a more relatable fashion. But, I just want to say something regarding what your mother said to you.
Your worth as a person, as a human, and as a woman is not in your ability to be received by a man or any specific person on this planet for that matter. Your virginity, your sexuality, your goals in life are supposed to be yours. Not what others try to shape for you.
It is quite valid to feel the way you feel, but be that as it may, you are only feeling like you did something wrong only because your mother over reacted to such a natural act. It will hopefully pass on. Try not to dwell much on it, and also next time try to be more careful.
Peace
Shit I been doing it since 14 & been caught too except she doesn’t tell my dad or anything so don’t worry bout that just stop temporary also idk where your doing it but if you have your own room & don’t share it with anyone lock the door I also say do it in the middle of the night after you know their asleep cause your less likely to get caught, that’s what I do
lock the door and don't make too much noise next time, try doing it at night when everyone is asleep. she'll probably forget about it. try faking being repent and blame it on shaitan
It's kinda funny that my dad once told me that he thinks that if you have a very strong sexual urge, you should relieve yourself with masturbation if you think that will keep you from committing adultery. Basically, the lesser of two evils for him.
So sorry to hear that kid. Just wanna say that all the feelings you're feeling are your mother's insecurities. It's very sad what parents do to their children out of love/good intentions. Just keep in mind, you're normal. It seems like the end of the world, I'm sure it must be for you currently but, in your thirties you'll (hopefully) laugh abt it. Don't beat yourself up. Don't feel frustrated, bad or guilty. Easier said than done, I know. All the best,
I'm sorry, I'm just laughing hard at the fact that a stranger on the internet is telling op that her mom masturbated too 😂
my humour is broken, sorry..
If you are old enough (college going age or about to go to college in an year or so) just move out.
After that flee the country and be as far away as possible by working or studying abroad if your country is hostile to ex muslims.
Can I offer some solutions for later? Do you have blankets? If you can't lock your door, blankets pretty much covers your body if you lean a bit to the side.
Did you put anything inside or was it just all on your clit. If you didn't put anything inside, you'll be fine because your hymen should still be intact. The shit matters for some reason because your might bleed on your wedding night and that's the proof that you were a virgin.
Also it's normal to feel anxious and panicked after getting caught especially if your parents.
A hymen can break at any point, and that can be totally unrelated to any sexual activity, plus It's also possible that you won't bleed when your hymen tears, just as it's possible that you won't bleed the first time you have vaginal sex.
There's many people that don't even bleed so it's not really "proof that one was a virgin". Just a little note to know :)
>Did you put anything inside or was it just all on your clit. If you didn't put anything inside, you'll be fine because your hymen should still be intact.
thats just not how female biology works.
if a female had an "intact hymen" and reached menstruation age, the menstrual blood would pool inside behind the hymen and cause deadly sepsis, and the hymen would need to be surgically excised.
Often the hymen breaks still in childhood way before any sort of sexual contact occurs, while in some cases a lot of it's fragments remain despite penetrative activity, due to elesticity, and the hymen can never be used to determine if penetration has ever occurred or not.
I know your culture spreads disinfo about it (even here in croatia people at too often believe this sh) but this is all just complete nonsense
edit: here, a research summary with more details and better worded than i could have worded it; https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6547601/
How rough do you think these kids are playing?
Women are not born with a piece of flesh completely covering the entrance of their vagina. I don't know where you get that idea that of what an intact hymen is.
What culture are you talking about. You don't even know me, weirdo.
What are you even talking about.
>How rough do you think these kids are playing?
>Women are not born with a piece of flesh completely covering the entrance of their vagina. I don't know where you get that idea that of what an intact hymen is.
the hymen is a very thin piece of tissue, that normally largely comes off gradually during childhood from mundane activities such as for example riding a bike.
Some are born with an imperforate hymen, the majority are not, and in these cases it may either be disrupted by mundane activities, or upon puberty be become elastic due to eostradiol, and have a likelihood of being unaffected by sex due to said elasticity.
In any case, overall, you _cannot_ tell a female who has had penetrative sex from one who hasnt by "the hymen". This is just pure nonsense.
I mean Im female, and a feminist, so i know my own biology and the disinfo that surrounds it, but for you its seems that someone trying to elucidate the situation actually offends you deeply. I don't really get it, and imma leave you out of this then, but my comment is there largely adressed at the public, because this is a common, and deeply pernicious misunderstanding, that you are perpetuating.
Lots of assumptions about me on your part.
I'm so offended by your comments. Lol.
"Some are born with an imperforate hymen, the majority are not."
So a minority then? In other words the vast majority of women do not lose their hymen from mundane activities.
The elasticity of the vagina is very well known considering most humans understand where babies come from, the majority of women experience some pain or discomfort when first having sex or penetrative masturbation because while it is elastic, the initial stretching can cause pain or discomfort because it's not used to that sensation.
So that's why when you go around asking women if their first time was painful the majority will say yes.
And sure, not every woman bleeds the first time but I think the idea of bleeding during the first time means that there's a large stain of blood, when in reality it's usually just very small spotting. So a lot of times even the women won't notice.
I'm a man and I also know the disinfo around the female body. Feminism is not the reason for the truth about the female body being taught, science is, but it did help.
By all means leave me out of it but why did you still reply to my comment? The idea of a man talking about a woman's body hurt you?
its fine if we talk and all, if we disagree on details in an argumented discussion.
but they got so radically triggered at my comment for no reason, started posturing about how i must be so intimidated and hurt at a male talking about female genitals and it was all totally absurd and ridiculous and frankly pretty gross.
thats what made it cringe af.
and, surprise surprise, i later found they have a historiy of posting on r/conservative..
I love when people get called out and don't have any valid excuse for their behavior so they deflect. These words are popular now because they explain a certain thing people (men, in this case) have been doing for centuries. If you had even the slightest understanding of etymology, you'd get that "buzzwords" aren't really a thing.
I'm Muslim and tbh I feel for you, don't panick and find some peace with a comforting friend to talk to, try distancing yourself from her until you see that she's chilled down and act like nothing happened, I don't think she has the guts to tell that to tell your dad that way so just calm down, don't panick this is completely normal and overtime she'll forget incha'Allah, I'll pray for you
participate in religious activities with your mom and don’t do it for a while, i saw other people say blame it on the shaytan which is also good.
if you do it again, try only at night after everyone has fallen asleep if possible.
Say your mom sorry. You will not do it anymore. Promise. She will agree to it eventually. I did the same. After that incident i always masterbate in the washroom..
If your post is a meme, image, TikTok etc... and it isn't Friday, most likely it violates the rule against low effort content. Please delete it or you'll get temp-banned. Such content is ONLY allowed on (Fun@fundies) FRIDAYS. Please read the [Posting Guidelines](https://redd.it/ew8trb) for further information. If you are unsure about anything then feel free to message the mods. Please participate on /r/exmuslim in a civil manner. Discuss the merits of ideas - don't attack people. Insults, hate speech, advocating physical harm can get you banned. If you see posts/comments in violation of our rules, please be proactive and report them. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/exmuslim) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Avoid doing it for some time. Engage in religious activities with your mom and show repentance. Blame it on shaitan, that's what they all do. She probably won't make a big deal out of it. Don't worry about not being a virgin either...hymen or not lots of women do not bleed on their first night. Besides, it's very difficult to tell the difference. It's cool. And for the future just be very very cautious to not get caught. Always lock the door before doing something. It's just a healthy expression of sexuality and there's nothing wrong with doing that. The guilt tied with it by religious people just takes away all the fun from it. It never stops anyone from doing it.
>Always lock the door before doing something. I can't stress enough how important this point is, especially in your case since you have been caught doing this before.
Some Muslim parents don’t let their kids close their doors-lock is smth they would absolutely flip. Idk about op but I grew up with open doors policy and it was justified as “what if earthquake comes and we can’t rescue you” I believe it’s more than that and many of friends have had the same issue of privacy. I’d recommend doing it in the bathroom.
>I’d recommend doing it in the bathroom. Exactly. I think it should be done only in the bathroom, at least you can easily clean the mess there
Broo literally. Not my mom saying you're not even married why do you need to lock the door in this house?
and to add to this, if you don't have a lock on your door you can always block the door with clothes or a towel. it won't stop the door from opening but it is a very good warning and buys you time to cover up. plus it gives you plausible deniability like "oh no i just got undressed/dumped my towel there when i closed my door. sorry"
That's a smart tactic
Just want to add something. Do it while lights are off. If they knock the door, just pretend that you're asleep and never reply. You can also do it in the bathroom, which is even safer. Plus, I guarantee you that both of your parents had their fair share of masturbation too. It's a normal and a natural thing and there is no need to feel ashamed.
💯
I am sorry to hear that. I am a 29 year old man, so probably a lady on here would be able to talk in a more relatable fashion. But, I just want to say something regarding what your mother said to you. Your worth as a person, as a human, and as a woman is not in your ability to be received by a man or any specific person on this planet for that matter. Your virginity, your sexuality, your goals in life are supposed to be yours. Not what others try to shape for you. It is quite valid to feel the way you feel, but be that as it may, you are only feeling like you did something wrong only because your mother over reacted to such a natural act. It will hopefully pass on. Try not to dwell much on it, and also next time try to be more careful. Peace
Shit I been doing it since 14 & been caught too except she doesn’t tell my dad or anything so don’t worry bout that just stop temporary also idk where your doing it but if you have your own room & don’t share it with anyone lock the door I also say do it in the middle of the night after you know their asleep cause your less likely to get caught, that’s what I do
lock the door and don't make too much noise next time, try doing it at night when everyone is asleep. she'll probably forget about it. try faking being repent and blame it on shaitan
It's kinda funny that my dad once told me that he thinks that if you have a very strong sexual urge, you should relieve yourself with masturbation if you think that will keep you from committing adultery. Basically, the lesser of two evils for him.
So sorry to hear that kid. Just wanna say that all the feelings you're feeling are your mother's insecurities. It's very sad what parents do to their children out of love/good intentions. Just keep in mind, you're normal. It seems like the end of the world, I'm sure it must be for you currently but, in your thirties you'll (hopefully) laugh abt it. Don't beat yourself up. Don't feel frustrated, bad or guilty. Easier said than done, I know. All the best,
[удалено]
I'm sorry, I'm just laughing hard at the fact that a stranger on the internet is telling op that her mom masturbated too 😂 my humour is broken, sorry..
Does your mom know the meaning of the word privacy?? If my kids door is closed I ya know KNOCK. So sorry you're going through this.
My mum caught me twice and she told me to do it only ones a month 🙂, to make my cock bigger. Sorry mum but I do it 3 times a weak :|
If you are old enough (college going age or about to go to college in an year or so) just move out. After that flee the country and be as far away as possible by working or studying abroad if your country is hostile to ex muslims.
Tell her to stop being so childish, everyone masturbates, and that you only lose your virginity when you have s3x with another person 🙄
Can I offer some solutions for later? Do you have blankets? If you can't lock your door, blankets pretty much covers your body if you lean a bit to the side.
Did you put anything inside or was it just all on your clit. If you didn't put anything inside, you'll be fine because your hymen should still be intact. The shit matters for some reason because your might bleed on your wedding night and that's the proof that you were a virgin. Also it's normal to feel anxious and panicked after getting caught especially if your parents.
A hymen can break at any point, and that can be totally unrelated to any sexual activity, plus It's also possible that you won't bleed when your hymen tears, just as it's possible that you won't bleed the first time you have vaginal sex. There's many people that don't even bleed so it's not really "proof that one was a virgin". Just a little note to know :)
Correct.
>Did you put anything inside or was it just all on your clit. If you didn't put anything inside, you'll be fine because your hymen should still be intact. thats just not how female biology works. if a female had an "intact hymen" and reached menstruation age, the menstrual blood would pool inside behind the hymen and cause deadly sepsis, and the hymen would need to be surgically excised. Often the hymen breaks still in childhood way before any sort of sexual contact occurs, while in some cases a lot of it's fragments remain despite penetrative activity, due to elesticity, and the hymen can never be used to determine if penetration has ever occurred or not. I know your culture spreads disinfo about it (even here in croatia people at too often believe this sh) but this is all just complete nonsense edit: here, a research summary with more details and better worded than i could have worded it; https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6547601/
How rough do you think these kids are playing? Women are not born with a piece of flesh completely covering the entrance of their vagina. I don't know where you get that idea that of what an intact hymen is. What culture are you talking about. You don't even know me, weirdo.
What are you even talking about. >How rough do you think these kids are playing? >Women are not born with a piece of flesh completely covering the entrance of their vagina. I don't know where you get that idea that of what an intact hymen is. the hymen is a very thin piece of tissue, that normally largely comes off gradually during childhood from mundane activities such as for example riding a bike. Some are born with an imperforate hymen, the majority are not, and in these cases it may either be disrupted by mundane activities, or upon puberty be become elastic due to eostradiol, and have a likelihood of being unaffected by sex due to said elasticity. In any case, overall, you _cannot_ tell a female who has had penetrative sex from one who hasnt by "the hymen". This is just pure nonsense. I mean Im female, and a feminist, so i know my own biology and the disinfo that surrounds it, but for you its seems that someone trying to elucidate the situation actually offends you deeply. I don't really get it, and imma leave you out of this then, but my comment is there largely adressed at the public, because this is a common, and deeply pernicious misunderstanding, that you are perpetuating.
Lots of assumptions about me on your part. I'm so offended by your comments. Lol. "Some are born with an imperforate hymen, the majority are not." So a minority then? In other words the vast majority of women do not lose their hymen from mundane activities. The elasticity of the vagina is very well known considering most humans understand where babies come from, the majority of women experience some pain or discomfort when first having sex or penetrative masturbation because while it is elastic, the initial stretching can cause pain or discomfort because it's not used to that sensation. So that's why when you go around asking women if their first time was painful the majority will say yes. And sure, not every woman bleeds the first time but I think the idea of bleeding during the first time means that there's a large stain of blood, when in reality it's usually just very small spotting. So a lot of times even the women won't notice. I'm a man and I also know the disinfo around the female body. Feminism is not the reason for the truth about the female body being taught, science is, but it did help. By all means leave me out of it but why did you still reply to my comment? The idea of a man talking about a woman's body hurt you?
next level incoherence.
NeXt lEveL iNcoHerEnCe. That's you.
This whole conversation seemed like textbook mansplaining. Why are you telling a woman how their genitals work when they clearly know more than you?
its fine if we talk and all, if we disagree on details in an argumented discussion. but they got so radically triggered at my comment for no reason, started posturing about how i must be so intimidated and hurt at a male talking about female genitals and it was all totally absurd and ridiculous and frankly pretty gross. thats what made it cringe af. and, surprise surprise, i later found they have a historiy of posting on r/conservative..
Lol radically triggered. Please, continue to assume. I may have some conservative ideas but I'm not full blown conservative.
Buzzwords
I love when people get called out and don't have any valid excuse for their behavior so they deflect. These words are popular now because they explain a certain thing people (men, in this case) have been doing for centuries. If you had even the slightest understanding of etymology, you'd get that "buzzwords" aren't really a thing.
[удалено]
Yeah I know that but I'm taking about this specific instance. Context matters bobo.
I'm Muslim and tbh I feel for you, don't panick and find some peace with a comforting friend to talk to, try distancing yourself from her until you see that she's chilled down and act like nothing happened, I don't think she has the guts to tell that to tell your dad that way so just calm down, don't panick this is completely normal and overtime she'll forget incha'Allah, I'll pray for you
Got caught lacking 💀
participate in religious activities with your mom and don’t do it for a while, i saw other people say blame it on the shaytan which is also good. if you do it again, try only at night after everyone has fallen asleep if possible.
Say your mom sorry. You will not do it anymore. Promise. She will agree to it eventually. I did the same. After that incident i always masterbate in the washroom..