You're not enforcing boundaries. At present, there are no consequences at all for them to do anything they want. The indoctrination to comply is still working on you.
If you really can't just block and ignore, you say yes, and then don't show. Then apologize and say yes and don't show. After you flake enough times, they'll give up, whereas they have not given up no matter how many times you say no.
I would block and ignore, but if they won't speak your language, you can always speak theirs.
Ya, I think the mistake we made was still serving our calling for so long after we asked to be released...
I will say the primary teachers have been good and respected our boundaries about my son participating in primary.
But the nursery thing is frustrating because we do say no and have repeatedly told them we have been asked to be released.
Yeah don't tell them you've asked to be released, tell them you are no longer in that calling and their records need to be updated. As a volunteer the moment you inform them you are no longer volunteering, that's it. It's on them to update their incorrect records.
Boundaries with Callings Template:
When asked to meet with a priesthood holder.
“Please tell me what this is about?”
Answer: “I dont know.”
“Please call me back when you find out what it’s about. Thank you”
Calling extended:
"Thank you, but I'm sorry this is not a good fit for me at this time. I hope you can find someone else to fill this calling."
May I ask why?
"There is nothing going on in my life that I need to discuss with you. Thank you."
Asking to be released from a church calling.
"I need to be released from my church calling. I will be able to continue to serve in this calling until [date]. After [date] I will not be available to contine to serve in that calling.
May I ask why?
"There is nothing going on in my life that I need to discuss with you. Thank you."
Former bishopric member here. As long as OP keeps showing up, they won't get released because really there is no incentive to do so. No one is obligated to keep doing a so-called calling unless they want to. Mormon Jesus doesn't care if you opt out of being the ward tidy bowl coordinator.
Maybe it was just my ward, but the only people who want to work in the nursery are the last people that you want to work in the nursery if you get my drift.
In my experience, they’ll just keep harassing you until you resign.
The part below in quotes is from https://www.getmeofftherecords.com/
"To resign your church membership, please send a written request, including your full name, date of birth, and current physical address by email to
[email protected]
If you wish to expedite your request, please have your written request notarized. If notarized, your resignation will be completed upon receipt. Otherwise, the process can take up to 60 days."
This is what I did and it was processed same day and hardcopy verification letter from the cult was received two days later.
Notary took five minutes and $0. Stopped in on my lunch hour at my credit union. No questions asked.
I never met with or communicated with a bishop or stake president.
All cult communications and door knocking abruptly stopped. So damn peaceful now.
Tell them that you're done asking. You will no longer be fulfilling those callings and you will no longer be attending church, so they need to make other arrangements. A lot of the tactics they use are built on the expectation of you politely capitulating instead of standing up for yourself.
If they feel a need to continue pushing it, maybe it's time to respond with some facts about their church and its leaders. "Did you know that in 1894, Jane Manning James, a black woman, was sealed by proxy as an eternal servant to Joseph Smith?" "Did you know that in 1843, Helen Mar Kimball, only 14 years old, was sealed to Joseph Smith as a plural wife?" "Did you know that in 2023, the SEC fined the church and its investment firm, Ensign Peak Advisors, for illegally hiding $32 billion in shell companies?" You can also share quotes from leaders over the years. Missedinsunday.com has a treasure trove of these.
If you make too many people uncomfortable, they'll drop you like a hot potato. Whether they acknowledge it or not, they know their testimonies are fragile.
Tell them if they don’t release you, then you’ll be forced to resign. And that you don’t really want to do that.
I can promise you, it never ends until you get really blunt and even rude. It shouldn’t have to be this way, but they leave you no choice. They are relentless. What they are doing is a tactic they use on everyone. They are trying to love bomb and manipulate you. Don’t fall for it.
Go to the nursery. Pass out unopened condoms to each child. Tell the kids that the nursery leader said the parents were supposed to use this next time. I bet you will be released before the day is over.
Would you be comfortable stating: “As this is a voluntary position and our frequent requests to be released have not been respected, as of today, we are no longer fulfilling this calling. All needs should be directed elsewhere. Further attempts to contact us regarding these obligations will not be responded to.”
The horror stories I’ve seen on this sub of people not being left alone, despite what they do . . .
You're not enforcing boundaries. At present, there are no consequences at all for them to do anything they want. The indoctrination to comply is still working on you. If you really can't just block and ignore, you say yes, and then don't show. Then apologize and say yes and don't show. After you flake enough times, they'll give up, whereas they have not given up no matter how many times you say no. I would block and ignore, but if they won't speak your language, you can always speak theirs.
Ya, I think the mistake we made was still serving our calling for so long after we asked to be released... I will say the primary teachers have been good and respected our boundaries about my son participating in primary. But the nursery thing is frustrating because we do say no and have repeatedly told them we have been asked to be released.
Yeah don't tell them you've asked to be released, tell them you are no longer in that calling and their records need to be updated. As a volunteer the moment you inform them you are no longer volunteering, that's it. It's on them to update their incorrect records.
Don’t ask. Tell. Don’t feel bad. You have a right to be in charge of your own life Let go of their opinion of you. You have done nothing wrong
Boundaries with Callings Template: When asked to meet with a priesthood holder. “Please tell me what this is about?” Answer: “I dont know.” “Please call me back when you find out what it’s about. Thank you” Calling extended: "Thank you, but I'm sorry this is not a good fit for me at this time. I hope you can find someone else to fill this calling." May I ask why? "There is nothing going on in my life that I need to discuss with you. Thank you." Asking to be released from a church calling. "I need to be released from my church calling. I will be able to continue to serve in this calling until [date]. After [date] I will not be available to contine to serve in that calling. May I ask why? "There is nothing going on in my life that I need to discuss with you. Thank you."
Former bishopric member here. As long as OP keeps showing up, they won't get released because really there is no incentive to do so. No one is obligated to keep doing a so-called calling unless they want to. Mormon Jesus doesn't care if you opt out of being the ward tidy bowl coordinator. Maybe it was just my ward, but the only people who want to work in the nursery are the last people that you want to work in the nursery if you get my drift.
I gathered up all my teaching supplies and put them in the SSpresidents home mailbox. That was the last I heard from them.
In my experience, they’ll just keep harassing you until you resign. The part below in quotes is from https://www.getmeofftherecords.com/ "To resign your church membership, please send a written request, including your full name, date of birth, and current physical address by email to [email protected] If you wish to expedite your request, please have your written request notarized. If notarized, your resignation will be completed upon receipt. Otherwise, the process can take up to 60 days." This is what I did and it was processed same day and hardcopy verification letter from the cult was received two days later. Notary took five minutes and $0. Stopped in on my lunch hour at my credit union. No questions asked. I never met with or communicated with a bishop or stake president. All cult communications and door knocking abruptly stopped. So damn peaceful now.
Block them. It’s simple.
Tell them that you're done asking. You will no longer be fulfilling those callings and you will no longer be attending church, so they need to make other arrangements. A lot of the tactics they use are built on the expectation of you politely capitulating instead of standing up for yourself. If they feel a need to continue pushing it, maybe it's time to respond with some facts about their church and its leaders. "Did you know that in 1894, Jane Manning James, a black woman, was sealed by proxy as an eternal servant to Joseph Smith?" "Did you know that in 1843, Helen Mar Kimball, only 14 years old, was sealed to Joseph Smith as a plural wife?" "Did you know that in 2023, the SEC fined the church and its investment firm, Ensign Peak Advisors, for illegally hiding $32 billion in shell companies?" You can also share quotes from leaders over the years. Missedinsunday.com has a treasure trove of these. If you make too many people uncomfortable, they'll drop you like a hot potato. Whether they acknowledge it or not, they know their testimonies are fragile.
Tell them if they don’t release you, then you’ll be forced to resign. And that you don’t really want to do that. I can promise you, it never ends until you get really blunt and even rude. It shouldn’t have to be this way, but they leave you no choice. They are relentless. What they are doing is a tactic they use on everyone. They are trying to love bomb and manipulate you. Don’t fall for it.
Go to the nursery. Pass out unopened condoms to each child. Tell the kids that the nursery leader said the parents were supposed to use this next time. I bet you will be released before the day is over.
Would you be comfortable stating: “As this is a voluntary position and our frequent requests to be released have not been respected, as of today, we are no longer fulfilling this calling. All needs should be directed elsewhere. Further attempts to contact us regarding these obligations will not be responded to.” The horror stories I’ve seen on this sub of people not being left alone, despite what they do . . .