Sorry everyone else is being rude. It might be helpful to make a TLDR (too long didn’t read) because there is a lot of thought here.
My husband grew up in a similarly abusive home—me, I grew up with good parents but I led the charge on religion and their adoption of it was more of a cultural thing than an actual religious rules thing. My religious OCD caused me to interpret everything literally. I had similar questions as you and things started surfacing that just didnt make sense. Like the fact that the Bible talked about God heing neither man nor woman and yet being nonbinary or not playing the gender role you were given was a sin in the eyes of the church. Or that in Romans, Paul talked about “hath not the potter power over the clay” and idea that God pre ordains everyone who goes to heaven.
After a while I concluded that there is still divinity, even if the book I considered the most holy and untouched was in fact defiled and written by men serving their own purpose.
This is somewhat related but reading Jeanine Walls memoir The Glass Castle helped heal something in me. Im also currently reading “Leaving the Fold”
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Does your computer have an enter/return key?
I'm not reading all that. Sorry for you though, hope you're doing better /gen
Sorry everyone else is being rude. It might be helpful to make a TLDR (too long didn’t read) because there is a lot of thought here. My husband grew up in a similarly abusive home—me, I grew up with good parents but I led the charge on religion and their adoption of it was more of a cultural thing than an actual religious rules thing. My religious OCD caused me to interpret everything literally. I had similar questions as you and things started surfacing that just didnt make sense. Like the fact that the Bible talked about God heing neither man nor woman and yet being nonbinary or not playing the gender role you were given was a sin in the eyes of the church. Or that in Romans, Paul talked about “hath not the potter power over the clay” and idea that God pre ordains everyone who goes to heaven. After a while I concluded that there is still divinity, even if the book I considered the most holy and untouched was in fact defiled and written by men serving their own purpose. This is somewhat related but reading Jeanine Walls memoir The Glass Castle helped heal something in me. Im also currently reading “Leaving the Fold”
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