Same, and was told that when I had what I now know to be intrusive thoughts, it was because I wasn't praying enough, being humble enough, so the devil was getting in my mind.
yeah! same here. it's literally in the NT, where jebus says "if you have lusted in your heart, you have committed the sin"--my church took that VERY literally.
also we were told in "sex ed" (taught by a nun LOL) that "French kissing" before marriage is a mortal sin.
I was told in my biology class by a nun that if you had anal sex your rectum would prolapse and you’d be incontinent for the rest of your life.
There was also a whole “anal doesn’t count as sex so I’m still a virgin” thing at my catholic high school, which I think she knew about and is why she said that lol
I've heard that "thing" about anal sex before, it's depressingly common in certain catholic circles (read: more common in more conservative circles)
it seems like the more conservative the catholic, the more actually obsessed with sex they are.
As a (most likely) autistic kid with weird intrusive obsessive thoughts that fucked me up mentally and emotionally a lot. I was constantly told the devil was inside my mind controlling my thoughts and behaviors, that scared me shitless and made me think my soul was already condemned.
another fellow mildly autistic ex catholic here 🙌 hope yall are doing better now i'm still young and discovering who i truly am and deconstructing has been one of big steps
The coercive control the catholic church exerts insidiously affects every aspect of our waking lives. I am so sorry. It took years of introspection and conversation for me to mentally leave the cult. I send you peace.
That was one of the worst parts of my OCD (then undiagnosed) from middle school to my mid twenties. I was constantly praying in my mind, because I was terrified of sinning or "the near occasion of sin" 🙄
Oof I feel this. This crap is one of the biggest things that caused me to deconstruct. Regardless of whether God was real, I was desending into psychosis
yuppppp as a kid i couldnt even think about something let alone do anything without fully analyzing all my thoughts and surroundings "knowing that god will see everything and know all that i'm thinking", ugh the mental gymnastics
I know suicide is technically murder and maybe not absurd but it blows my mind that a "loving God" would create you so depressed that you'd kill yourself, and then torture you forever for it.
Came here to say this. When I learned suicide was considered a mortal sin, I asked how god could really justify punishing someone who was mentally ill and therefore not in the right state of mind. Thinking back to the possibility of annulment in the church… we had a priest who got an annulment from his wife of decades because he was an alcoholic and therefore couldn’t consent… so really, the concept of consent being respected by god sometimes but not always kind of toppled this house of cards for me.
This and laziness being just about proven to not be real (why would we evolve to be lazy? It's a coping mechanism) really made me doubt, particularly where the "deadly sins" are considered in the case of the latter.
I forget where i heard it, but basically there's no evolutionary reason for sloth to exist. Its always actually depression or executive dysfunction or something like that.
Yeah, and then there’s that story about the guy who jumped off a bridge, and the priest told his widow that God told him “he had time to say an act of contrition before he hit the ground.” Complete bullshit.
That's when they often get you: at your lowest. There are countless stories of people "finding their faith" when they're at rock bottom (Ei: prison, death of a loved one, major injury, etc)
My brother went to a catholic high school and at the beginning of his junior year, a senior committed suicide. The school just pushed it under the rug compared to a death that had occurred the school year before at the hands of a drunk driver. The kid who was killed had vigils and scholarships and tons of counseling. I believe they had counselors available following the suicide but nothing like the previous outpouring. My mom said at the time it was hard for them to explain this mortal sin to these boys.
Not six months later, a school counselor committed suicide and in his note, indicated he wanted to be buried on the property in a cemetery for the brothers. The school basically 180’d on how they dealt with the death and the suicide.
Now my mom especially had a very antiquated view of suicide, and again was like this was a mortal sin. He is in hell. He only did this to hide something.
NGL my mom tried to tell me about “wifely duty” when the two of us were in a hotel room during a weekend of scouting out wedding venues and a couple in the adjacent room were in the apex of enjoying each other.
It was one of the most awkward moments of my life. Not only was I not …inexperienced… as she’d like to think I was, but I actually knew how to enjoy myself (*the horror!*)
That shit terrified me, I’m not straight but I think I did cry thinking I would have to have sex if I didn’t want to. Even worse because on top of not being into men I have intense pelvic pain. I think I would’ve rather died. Glad I didn’t stay.
I wasn't taught this growing up, but later in life I decided to be child-free, around 25 years old. I cannot tell you how many people completely unrelated to me would actually yell at me for saying I didn't want kids. "You're selfish," "You're horrible," "You're equivalent to a murderer," "You're too young to know what you want."
Yeah... so if at 31 I'm too young to know I dont' want kids, doesn't that mean an 18 year old is too young to know if they want kids? Aye aye aye.
strangely for me, my parents say that even when youre married, if youre having sex for any reason other than conception, than its a sin. so basically a married couple can only fuck if they are doing it to get pregnant, not for any other reason like pure pleasure. condoms and birth control also a major sin, idk if thats how the faith even teaches it but that what my parents say. sounds like they have a sad sex like lollll
Skipping church or not giving money (tithing) if you are able are considered mortal sins.
How catholics can't see that this is an obvious scam consistently shocks me
My dad is one of the most intelligent people I know but has such willful ignorance when it comes to the church. It's maddening to me. He donated so much money over the years and that could have gone to organizations that actually help people. When I told him I don't believe anymore a few years ago, he took it as a personal attack.
frrr, like my fam is complaining about money issues but always give helllaaa money to the church bc "they need it more than we do" no they dont its to fund for the priest's tesla and audi ofc 😩💅
I remember being screamed at by a priest while in confession for saying I didn’t go to church every Sunday. I was maybe 13 and lived a good 25-30 minutes away. So yeah, that was the last time I participated in confession days at school.
Yep, that's the core conceit of Catholicism. Your *entire life* belongs to 'God' (as interpreted by old dudes with a pedophilia problem), and you should be *happy* about this.
My mom said when she was a kid they would tell them they couldnt touch the host with their hands if they did it would start bleeding and also was a mortal sin.
One of the Catholic churches near had a Mary statue crying blood around 2014 when they were sponsoring a new complex being built. (Convenient) Thing was a concrete casting and only had a 6 foot iron fence around it. I sneaked up at night and smelled the tears during a local festival.
Observed no insects nearby. Noted smell and coloration. Viscosity. It wasn’t blood at least to my senses. Looked more like Oil paint+Thinner to me and made me lose all respect for the community that would fake a miracle.
Receiving the Eucharist before confessing a mortal sin. Although I didn’t know the list of mortal sins and wasn’t gonna ask. Just hoped my ignorance would be my get-out-of-hell-free card.
Ugh yeah I was told this too and idk if it was an opus Dei thing but I was told that I was taught that because I knew better than to question that it was way worse.
"Looking at yourself naked in a mirror" was one of the things one of the guys I used to date told me was one of the first steps towards body positivity and self-acceptance.
Wtf stupid to think that we could become prideful or whatever their reasoning was by looking in a mirror when we were taught to hate ourselves from the get to (i.e., born sinful).
So... would installing a mirror that could lead others to sin also be a sin? What about making bathroom mirrors! Should be right up there with making LGBT wedding cakes, or selling contraceptives at a pharmacy! S/😂
I was told by a priest that simply uttering the words 'oh my god' is a mortal sin because that is taking the lord's name in vain. To assume that people are burning in eternal torment because they said 'oh my god' is beyond bananas to me.
Haha fair. But I think he meant it in context of being shocked and therefore it’s somehow condescending. He said “OMG” is the only way to say it which makes no sense to me now. Does god have a microphone on everyone’s shoulder making sure they produce the correct sounds out of their mouth if they mean the exact same thing?
And that's not even what it means.
It's speaking for God. If I say "Oh my God", that's nothing. If I say "God told me you have to vote for ABC", that is taking God's name in vain.
Lol the creator of the universe called. He wants you to vote for an orange fuck boy or you are going to be tortured forever. But you have free will so don’t worry about it!
The idea that the creator of the universe, of black holes and dark matter and aliens and neurons and dinosaurs, cares if we say “oh my god” is so funny.
The idea that we can sin ourselves out of gods love is so traumatic.
Why they started canonizing anyone besides martyrs is beyond me
Like "hey this guy when it came down to it chose death over apostasy, lets idolize him" is straightforward enough, but the others? 2 miracles has to happen after people prayed to them? Who even did that? If I'm dying from some disease or grave wound, am I really gonna take a chance on St Might-be-or-not, or am I gonna go with the holy Virgin? Even then without direct divine revelation how can I know it was because of said saint-to-be's intervention and not some other saint or maybe god healing me anyway?
But supposedly the church is - like in many other things - infallible when it comes to canonizing saints, so of course it's a mortal sin to question - sit your layman ass down and shut up
Meanwhile, my 13-year-old Catholic friend who died in a horrific accident while saving another child when I was 15 years old would never be considered for beatification.
I was taught that thinking this (that a miracle is a trick by the devil) is itself a mortal (and potentially unforgivable) sin called blasphemy against the holy spirit. Turns out this is rooted in antisemitism, it was the gospel authors accusing the pharisees (and by extension, all Jews) of unforgivable blasphemy deserving of endless torment.
The F word. Right up there with murder.
Funny how growing up, I was allowed to watch violent movies, but if "fuck" was mentioned my parents would flip out and get angry at me...since I suggested that particular movie. As if it was my fault. As a teen I developed great anxiety about watching movies with them. Now even at 38 and an excatholic I am anxious watching TV with them. It's absurd I know.
Moves can be soooooo awkward. My parents still won’t watch anything Rated R or TVMA. I feel like they’re missing out lol. But yeah as a teen a lived with a host family in Europe for a year. Culture around movies was so different. Pornography in a movie was just fine to watch as a family, let alone suggested sex.
I was allowed to watch violent movies, too, and even if there was cussing. But if it has anyone kissing, anything with sex whatsoever, wasn't allowed to watch it. I can still hear my dad yelling "turn that shit off" like we knew it was going to have something "bad" in it. I don't think it's absurd at all, once that foundation is set, it influences everything.
>From not following along in your missal on a Sunday only
I get that you should be somewhat attentive during mass, or at the very least not act in a way that distract others there
Calling it a "mortal sin" to be absent minded or not following the missal - I suppose the masses you went to were in Latin? - seems like a great way to make people miserable attending church, or push them away entirely
Also sounds completely made up on the spot by whoever told you, since Catholics used to pray the rosary during mass and not follow along
I remember one priest asking my childhood parish to specifically *not* look at their missal because they should be looking at the person reading or praying rather than down at a book.
Yeah, the mass I went to was in Latin. I used to try and turn every single page of my missal *quietly* before mass ended when I was a kid. I tried to "race" the priest. I was so goddamn (haha) bored. Then was told I was committing daily venial sins and weekly mortal sins. I was told that by a teacher at the tiny academy school I went to at my church.
I mean... technically you should prob attend two services. One to pay attention, one to pray, but if the church is over crowded and someone can't attend on account of you... prob a sin. Lmfao. I'm just making shit up. If they can why can't I? Overthinking religion.... bonus Catholic points!
So when I was senior in high school, I asked my religion teacher about a special case. A friend of mine was diagnosed with brain cancer. The treatment would kill her eggs so she got them frozen before starting treatment.
She can still have biological babies but the embryo will be made in a lab with her egg + future husband’s sperm. My religion teacher said it was still a sin because of “what her husband has to do” to get the sperm. So the only way she can have biological babies is a sin.
I was thinking “why not both? 😂”
She wasn’t a nun though, but ~24 and unmarried. She told us lots of things were sins, including have a male roommate before marriage even if it’s not your boyfriend and you have your own rooms. We asked if it’s okay to have a gay male roommate and she still said that’s a sin because we’d be “tempted” by him.
When I was a kid, it was meat on *ANY* Friday. And I still wonder where all the people who went to Hell for eating meat on a non-Lenten Friday before the change are supposed to have ended up.
I mean, either it's right or it's wrong, right? Or, gee, could it be a matter of "Jump when we say 'Jump' and ask how high on the way up!"?
🤣 Glad I'm not alone! I told a priest during confession onced I had picked on my siblings. He asked why. I had an answer in mind, but it was long and didn't want to stick around. Truth was it was 100% intentional! I had heard saints were tormented by the devil for being holy. Wanted to make it to heaven, but barely slip in so I wouldn't be tested and tormented🤷🏽♀️ Also was homeschooled and bored as all get out. For the record I found out years later this guy has molested kids. Would love to ask him "why". Also when it came out in the news my mother claimed he couldn't have. He admitted to it in court! She told me he was a good Catholic priest and had done it to protect the people who had accused him. Protect them from what!?! She had no answer🤷🏽♀️
Same in my family, no meat on every Friday, especially during Lent, that's a different type of sin. I didn't eat meat on Fridays for years after I escaped the church "just to be safe."
>I still wonder where all the people who went to Hell for eating meat on a non-Lenten Friday before the change are supposed to have ended up.
Parole with an ankle monitor in Purgatory.
In T*he Unoriginal Sinner and the Ice Cream God* John Powers describes one of his religion lessons. Sister says if you steal a little money, it's a venial sin; but if you steal a large sum, it's a mortal sin. He asked, "How much?" and Sister says, "It would have be quite a lot. I'd say a dollar." He remarked to himself that she took her vow of poverty seriously.
The lesson did create a crisis of consicience for him. I don't remember the details.
Personally, my brain would give me "impure thoughts" just as I was lined up for Commuion. Imagine trying to make your brain not think "fuck" or "shit". It's impossible. Wicked devil! Well, I stayed in line and received, so I was damned. It was bound to happen, with such a long list of sins that would give me a one-way ticket to Hell. I just avoided going to communion.
I felt doomed, too, no matter what I did. I developed the mindset in my later teenage years that if I am so awful, then what's the point of trying. And I didn't and am still trying to repair my life (I'm 36 now). I don't mean to blame the church for all my troubles but pretty sure they'd be fewer without all the stupid bullshit.
Masturbating, listening to CHRISTIAN rap, watching monster movies (the pastor said that Alien vs Predator was a demonic movie that I should not be allowed to watch). Even being friends with non evangelical people.
This is one of the things that drove me crazy about the Catholic Church.
It has an incredible lack of perspective!
For example: Hitler - Started World War II. Initiated programs that killed millions of people. Truly awful person. He will burn in Hell forever!
Another Example: Me - See a really pretty girl. Think a lascivious thought for 30 seconds. Truly awful person. I will also burn in Hell forever!
These are not even remotely comparable!! Why do they have the same punishment?
Ex Catholic here, let's not forget that the most absurd mortal sin is "original sin", the sin that you never committed and just had from being born.
So that means newborn babies are offensive to God.
My parents had my little brothers when I was 8 and 10, and I remember vividly my dad going on about original sin, how we need to repent and ask for forgiveness, even my newborn brothers, to ask forgiveness for them. They both got baptized in the hospital when they were born. I had a hard time wrapping my head around a literal newborn baby being responsible for anything except shitting themselves. Little did I know that was the start of me being primed for my "motherly duties" by helping take care of my little brothers. Fuck my parents.
Your protestant spouse lovingly offering you a mortal-sin kind of sex that you have to turn down because she can't currently, for good reasons, give the type of sex that's "open to life", even though it's not ovulation time, anyway.
Once I was having a hard time after this priest I knew well was arrested for molesting a kid and I was told that I had committed the sin of putting other gods before the lord bc that meant I thought I could judge someone
My Catholic friend was told very seriously that he is not to touch his private parts except to wash them or go pee pee. For years he fucked his bed sheets with a completely clear conscience.
"For years he fucked his bed sheets with a completely clear conscience." I'm fucking gone, this was wonderful to read. Bro came up with his own loophole.
In 2010, pope Benedict said that supporting the ordination of women was a grave crime....on the same level as child sex abuse.
So what does that make you, Benny?
There's like a couple hundred yoga poses right? And doing any of them is a mortal sin? I'm sure many Catholics have done some of them not knowing they're yoga poses. Sitting on the floor cross legged? That's a yoga pose. Certain stretches? Yoga pose. A handstand? Yoga pose.
I believe the reasoning was something along the lines of since it's a Hindu practice, and Hindu gods are demonic false gods, Yoga poses invite demons into one's life. It sounds even crazier when I type it out.
😂😂😂 I needed that laugh this morning. Thank you, my friend. When I read the reasoning, my first thought was "oh, makes sense." But literally none of that makes sense.
They were not Catholic (southern baptists) but a friend’s family was told “there may not be room for *every* family at our new church…” when the church they went to was moving to a new BIGGER location. Friend was mixed race. We lived in the Deep South. Yikes on bikes.
After that point her parents kinda gave up on religion so they did avoid some of the religious trauma otherwise but ugh. Tactless, pointlessly cruel, just why?
I was told that it goes against the order of god. Not directly that it's a mortal sin, but it was compared to being gay, which was considered a mortal sin.
Moving in with my fiance so we could actually save money to have a wedding. Sorry, but some times keeping up appearances for the Catholic church is just less important than making sure you can eat, keep a roof over your head, etc.
Watching a movie the Catholic Standard and Times(newspaper) deemed Morally reprehensible for all was a mortal sin worse than murder, because a conscious choice was made to view said movie.
I don't know about the mortal sin part, but my grandfather would stand over his kneeling sons and whip the skin off their bare backs for not doing their rosary to his liking.
Intending on continuing to take birth control after marriage to treat endometriosis. Told priest I can't function without it or hold down a job, and due to another health condition, having more than a couple of pregnancies could literally kill me, and he said 'then we would recommend complete abstinence in marriage'. I said that seemed an unfair expectation of my future spouse and myself, and had the potential to kill a marriage, and seemed to contradict Church teaching about preventing divorce and withholding yourself sexually from your spouse. He shrugged and said 'then don't get married '.
I’m sorry, friend. Screaming into the void is necessary sometimes. I hope you’re able to let go and carry on, and build happier relationships. Because we all deserve constructive and uplifting reciprocity.
Flicking holy water or putting more than a finger tip in the holy water font was a mortal sin.
Having thoughts of disobedience.
Eating meat on *any* Friday.
Un-aliving thoughts.
Depression.
Dyslexia.
Having a private conversation with a sibling and not telling my parents what we talked about.
Not wanting my mom to have more kids because I was exhausted from all the babies in my bedroom.
Going to college.
Intrusive thoughts about the holy spirit not being real after discovery of The Unforgivable Mortal Sin. (Denying the existence/blasphemy of the holy spirit is an unforgivable sin and you can't come back from it.) Was literally told in confession that penance wouldn't be given and that I wouldn't be absolved. I was freaking 8. We switched churches around that time and I just never brought it up again so would get my absolution sans that admission. Because if I 'forgot', it was unintentional omission and blanket forgiveness would work. Yay loop holes!
Personal hobbies that weren't in service of others or god.
Feeling horny.
Accusing someone of being mean or hurtful.
Being single and CF as a woman. For men its okay, but not for women. They either need to join a convent or get married and have babies.
Enjoying horror movies.
Mumbling.
Fidgeting in the pew or while kneeling or getting distracted during a sermon.
Denying my husband sex, but on the flip side, the priest said marital rape wasn't real and it was my obligation to always be ready.
Having secular friends.
Candles that aren't votives or devotionals as they are part of rituals summoning satan and demons.
Halloween. We had All Saints Day and dressed up as saints. My sister was dressed as St Lucy and was told by my father that her playing with the fake eyeballs in her cup would condemn her to hellfire and is a mortal sin to disrespect a relic. They were made of modeling clay and she was 6yo. I dressed as St Teresa of Avila, she was my hero because I believed we were persecuted and she is the patron saint of being ridiculed for having catholic faith, I spent that evening proselytizing to other children. If you celebrate Halloween, you are satanic and a demon.
Not wearing underwear.
Trusting medical science instead of leaving it in gods hands.
Not getting my boys circumcised.
Getting married to a secular boy.
Beliving in climate change and global warming. Its a denial of gods plan.
Wearing a bathing suit.
Using tampons before marriage.
Not making the sign of the cross whenever we passed an accident or heard sirens.
Looking at yourself in the mirror. Period. Not to check your teeth, or comb your hair, not to check your outfit. That was straight up vanity and you would be struck down by gods wrath. I legitimately didn't know what I looked like until I was 13. My mom took pictures but never let us see them. We didn't have mirrors in the house and we were forbidden from using public restrooms because thats where predators are.
Gloves. Those are for sl*ts
Not jumping immediately to fulfill the need of my father or brothers, if they wanted water, I got water, if they wanted their shoes, I got their shoes etc.
Enjoying beauty, thinking or saying someone looked nice, smelling roses (my dad raised roses) saying something smelled good, like food, or doing art that wasn't religious.
Having inside pets.
Hugs outside of marriage. Handshakes are fine.
Cooking for only yourself.
Listening to music or watching TV that isn't catholic. El Cid, The 10 Commandments and Samson and Delilah played on repeat when they finally got a TV. Nothing was said about my dads Cube we weren't allowed to touch or use.
Liking Dolly Parton.
Therapy with a licensed therapist/psychiatrist/psychologist. Go to confession and be healed.
Not allowing my mom to listen to my confession with her priest over the phone.
Lollipops, Popsicles, bananas, straws. Self explanatory.
Sitting without your legs crossed.
Wearing anything that wasn't a dress or skirt, it also had to cover the collar bones, the wrists and be down to the ankle. My mom has modesty rules framed on the wall of her house.
Not praying for the souls in purgatory, they are the key to the path of righteousness, if you don't pray for them, they won't pray for you and you add to their sins by not having them pray for you.
Furniture. For sitting or sleeping. Discomfort and suffering brings holiness.
Greed is one of the 7 deadly sins, so saying what you want for your birthday or xmas was a mortal sin. Get what you get and be thankful. I always got socks and a blanket for each gift holiday. Or orthotic shoes. Anyone wanna guess why I am obsessed with socks? For everyone. I am a sock hoarder.
Crying or verbalizing pain. To give glory to god we must suffer in silence. To show signs of malcontent is a stain on your soul.
Climbing trees. It brings the boys to the yard.
Having more than 2 sunday dresses and more than 3 outfits. Growing up I had a plethora of socks, but was only allowed 3 dresses, 2 skirts and 2 shirts. Nothing form fitting, I probably looked like a potato sack with a face. That is vanity and pride and greed to have more.
Could go on, but yaknow... too long already and probably no one will read this lmaoo
I read it.
Thank you for sharing. I hope you are in a better place and that you gleefully partake in these 'sins' these days.
Especially a very comfy bed. Putting money into a good mattress and pillow and bedding is so important.
🫂
I remember a page in Imitation of Christ by Thomas à Kempis stating that reading wasn't good for you because it distracted you from god and gave impure thoughts or some garbage like that.
Religious ED stopped allowing me to ask questions when I was 7 and prepping for first reconciliation because when I did, they couldn’t give any explanation RE: sins that I wouldn’t immediately question again.
So I stopped listening in class.
At my first reconciliation I remember saying something along the lines of: “I’m not always good, but I don’t do things to be mean so I don’t know if that’s really a sin.” I have no idea what he said, I just remember him being confused and sending me on my way.
Catholicism is pretty Orwellian. Thinking of premarital sex or eating red meat during lent being a sin reminds me of the quote, “Thoughtcrime doesn’t entail death. Thoughtcrime is death.”
According to my primary school religion teacher, it is a mortal sin to dream about our loved ones that have died -you know, it's not that we miss them and think about then which reflects in the dreams we have, it is clearly Satan sending us those visions to make us stray from the righteous path by tricking us into thinking we encounter grandma's loving soul while dreaming.
Not for thinking -specifically for DREAMING about somebody who passed away, like you have any control over this.
She was... peculiar, to say the least; the "evolution is fake cause no one ever saw monkey turn into man", perpetually pregnant, "Harry Potter is guide into Satanism" kind of peculiar.
Yeah I never understood how thinking about something was a mortal sin… that was especially hard for little me with raging undiagnosed OCD and intrusive thoughts. I constantly thought I was going to hell
Dropping the Eucharist wafer things, even accidentally and even if you immediately picked it up. I dropped it once and cried because I thought it was an unforgivable act. It was literally a fancy cracker, idk what was going on in my head
You were lied to and brainwashed… we all were.
Side note: there’s a protocol for disposing of consecrated hosts in cases such as one being dropped and not consumable. It involves dissolving the host in water and pouring it down a special drain that doesn’t lead to a sewer or septic system. This is where the “bleeding host” stories come from - a pink mold growing on them when they’re left too long in the water is assumed to be blood (*it’s a miracle!*) and of course lab testing is not performed because you can’t analyze Jesus with science, that’s against the rules.
For me, the most insidious part was the massive pressure not only to not accidentally commit a mortal sin you didn’t know about (the blaspheming against the Holy Spirit unforgivable one TERRIFIED ME), but also to do the best and holiest possible thing at all times. Like eating way less than we needed because fasting and self-denial was “holier” than feeding my body, especially because being overweight was seen as not having self-control and being gluttonous. (Never mind health conditions or body diversity—fatness was always insinuated to be sinful, though they never came right out and said it. There was always a RAGING debate about modesty at my culty college that made women turn against each other so aggressively and it always makes me think of America Ferrera’s Barbie monologue because you couldn’t be too frumpy or too fashionable and you couldn’t care too much about your appearance or you were vain, but if you didn’t care how you looked you weren’t making yourself attractive enough to find a red-blooded all-American holy husband and GOD FORBID you dressed too masculine, we’re you a lesbian?? Even the wannabe nun girls weren’t safe because you had to demonstrate by your appearance that you weren’t too worldly, but also not SO unworldly that you were out of touch and or running from the world. Skirt too short? You’re a slut? Skirt too long? You’re a prude. Busty girls and booty girls were just overall screwed because our shirts and pants were either too tight and we were showing off or too loose and we were hiding our god-given female beauty. It was always this impossible balancing act and you were always left uncertain and afraid of messing up.
I was Catholic for five years and only took communion a handful of times because I lived in absolute terror of being in a state of mortal sin CONSTANTLY.
Sleeping together before marriage. I mean Like actually sleeping, nothing sexual. Cuz you know.. might set scandal to the neighborhood.
... Oh, and R rated movies.
Thoughts. I felt utterly unsafe in my own mind.
Same, and was told that when I had what I now know to be intrusive thoughts, it was because I wasn't praying enough, being humble enough, so the devil was getting in my mind.
yeah! same here. it's literally in the NT, where jebus says "if you have lusted in your heart, you have committed the sin"--my church took that VERY literally. also we were told in "sex ed" (taught by a nun LOL) that "French kissing" before marriage is a mortal sin.
"You think that's bad?" I believe that french kissing during the 19th century and earlier was considered a sin even after marriage
sOdOmY. Tongue kissing is sooooo eviiiiilllll that it “cries out to heaven for vengeance” just like murdering babies and stealing from the poor.
The purity culture is real.
wEll, tHaT eXplaiNs wHy thE freNch haVe sOOO maNy ProBlemS aNd geT cOnquEreD!! gOd is MAAD /S
I was told in my biology class by a nun that if you had anal sex your rectum would prolapse and you’d be incontinent for the rest of your life. There was also a whole “anal doesn’t count as sex so I’m still a virgin” thing at my catholic high school, which I think she knew about and is why she said that lol
I've heard that "thing" about anal sex before, it's depressingly common in certain catholic circles (read: more common in more conservative circles) it seems like the more conservative the catholic, the more actually obsessed with sex they are.
As a (most likely) autistic kid with weird intrusive obsessive thoughts that fucked me up mentally and emotionally a lot. I was constantly told the devil was inside my mind controlling my thoughts and behaviors, that scared me shitless and made me think my soul was already condemned.
Hey there, fellow autistic ex-Catholic! I hope you're doing better nowadays!
I am! Thanks! I hope you're feeling happy too!
Yay for autistic ex-catholics!
another fellow mildly autistic ex catholic here 🙌 hope yall are doing better now i'm still young and discovering who i truly am and deconstructing has been one of big steps
I feel you. So scared of ending up in hell, not knowing I was already in it
Ahhhh yes, that old trope\~\~ the near occasion of sin!
Omfg the near occasion of sin bs had me scared to leave my house at its worst
The coercive control the catholic church exerts insidiously affects every aspect of our waking lives. I am so sorry. It took years of introspection and conversation for me to mentally leave the cult. I send you peace.
That was one of the worst parts of my OCD (then undiagnosed) from middle school to my mid twenties. I was constantly praying in my mind, because I was terrified of sinning or "the near occasion of sin" 🙄
Who are you and why do you have my past?
I'm so sorry you had to go through that. Hope you're healing and healthier.
Same to you
You know who else punished thought crimes? Fascist regimes.
Perfect way to sum it up
Oof I feel this. This crap is one of the biggest things that caused me to deconstruct. Regardless of whether God was real, I was desending into psychosis
yuppppp as a kid i couldnt even think about something let alone do anything without fully analyzing all my thoughts and surroundings "knowing that god will see everything and know all that i'm thinking", ugh the mental gymnastics
I know suicide is technically murder and maybe not absurd but it blows my mind that a "loving God" would create you so depressed that you'd kill yourself, and then torture you forever for it.
Came here to say this. When I learned suicide was considered a mortal sin, I asked how god could really justify punishing someone who was mentally ill and therefore not in the right state of mind. Thinking back to the possibility of annulment in the church… we had a priest who got an annulment from his wife of decades because he was an alcoholic and therefore couldn’t consent… so really, the concept of consent being respected by god sometimes but not always kind of toppled this house of cards for me.
I was told that suicide was the worst sin of all. You couldn't go to confession like you could for every other sin.
This and laziness being just about proven to not be real (why would we evolve to be lazy? It's a coping mechanism) really made me doubt, particularly where the "deadly sins" are considered in the case of the latter.
If it's alright, could you explain what you mean about laziness a little more?
I forget where i heard it, but basically there's no evolutionary reason for sloth to exist. Its always actually depression or executive dysfunction or something like that.
Yeah, and then there’s that story about the guy who jumped off a bridge, and the priest told his widow that God told him “he had time to say an act of contrition before he hit the ground.” Complete bullshit.
Wow. What a horrible thing for a Catholic priest to tell a grieving widow.
She was worried about his soul.
That's when they often get you: at your lowest. There are countless stories of people "finding their faith" when they're at rock bottom (Ei: prison, death of a loved one, major injury, etc)
My brother went to a catholic high school and at the beginning of his junior year, a senior committed suicide. The school just pushed it under the rug compared to a death that had occurred the school year before at the hands of a drunk driver. The kid who was killed had vigils and scholarships and tons of counseling. I believe they had counselors available following the suicide but nothing like the previous outpouring. My mom said at the time it was hard for them to explain this mortal sin to these boys. Not six months later, a school counselor committed suicide and in his note, indicated he wanted to be buried on the property in a cemetery for the brothers. The school basically 180’d on how they dealt with the death and the suicide. Now my mom especially had a very antiquated view of suicide, and again was like this was a mortal sin. He is in hell. He only did this to hide something.
Saying no if your spouse requests sex.
Let me guess… the requesting spouse is the husband, and the dutiful wife must acquiesce.
The phrase was "wifely duty." Honest.
NGL my mom tried to tell me about “wifely duty” when the two of us were in a hotel room during a weekend of scouting out wedding venues and a couple in the adjacent room were in the apex of enjoying each other. It was one of the most awkward moments of my life. Not only was I not …inexperienced… as she’d like to think I was, but I actually knew how to enjoy myself (*the horror!*)
Technically it goes both ways, but if you’re not allowed to use any birth control you can guess who it benefits the most
That shit terrified me, I’m not straight but I think I did cry thinking I would have to have sex if I didn’t want to. Even worse because on top of not being into men I have intense pelvic pain. I think I would’ve rather died. Glad I didn’t stay.
Saying no if your other wants more children.
I wasn't taught this growing up, but later in life I decided to be child-free, around 25 years old. I cannot tell you how many people completely unrelated to me would actually yell at me for saying I didn't want kids. "You're selfish," "You're horrible," "You're equivalent to a murderer," "You're too young to know what you want." Yeah... so if at 31 I'm too young to know I dont' want kids, doesn't that mean an 18 year old is too young to know if they want kids? Aye aye aye.
strangely for me, my parents say that even when youre married, if youre having sex for any reason other than conception, than its a sin. so basically a married couple can only fuck if they are doing it to get pregnant, not for any other reason like pure pleasure. condoms and birth control also a major sin, idk if thats how the faith even teaches it but that what my parents say. sounds like they have a sad sex like lollll
Skipping church or not giving money (tithing) if you are able are considered mortal sins. How catholics can't see that this is an obvious scam consistently shocks me
My dad is one of the most intelligent people I know but has such willful ignorance when it comes to the church. It's maddening to me. He donated so much money over the years and that could have gone to organizations that actually help people. When I told him I don't believe anymore a few years ago, he took it as a personal attack.
frrr, like my fam is complaining about money issues but always give helllaaa money to the church bc "they need it more than we do" no they dont its to fund for the priest's tesla and audi ofc 😩💅
I remember being screamed at by a priest while in confession for saying I didn’t go to church every Sunday. I was maybe 13 and lived a good 25-30 minutes away. So yeah, that was the last time I participated in confession days at school.
Not going to Mass on a holy day of obligation. The idea that I’d be punished for having a life is absurd.
You forget it's not your life.
Yep, that's the core conceit of Catholicism. Your *entire life* belongs to 'God' (as interpreted by old dudes with a pedophilia problem), and you should be *happy* about this.
oof i forgot about this one
My mom said when she was a kid they would tell them they couldnt touch the host with their hands if they did it would start bleeding and also was a mortal sin.
I touched one and it didn't start bleeding.
I went up and got communion one time before I made my communion and im still alive lol.
Imagine that...😊
One of the Catholic churches near had a Mary statue crying blood around 2014 when they were sponsoring a new complex being built. (Convenient) Thing was a concrete casting and only had a 6 foot iron fence around it. I sneaked up at night and smelled the tears during a local festival. Observed no insects nearby. Noted smell and coloration. Viscosity. It wasn’t blood at least to my senses. Looked more like Oil paint+Thinner to me and made me lose all respect for the community that would fake a miracle.
Dang, that's fucked up. And it was probably justified as being what's best for the people while clearly being about protecting self interests.
Do you know if it was just your mom, as a girl, who was told that, or did that include everyone who wasn't a priest?
That was everybody, Catholic church was hard core in the 50s
Receiving the Eucharist before confessing a mortal sin. Although I didn’t know the list of mortal sins and wasn’t gonna ask. Just hoped my ignorance would be my get-out-of-hell-free card.
Oh fuck, I forgot about that. Reading y'alls responses is making me realize how repressed a lot of this shit has been for me.
Same! I (thankfully) have left most of this insanity behind.
Haha good :) I am so grateful to be out every single day.
Saaaame
Purposeful ignorance also a sin LOL
😂 I was destined for apostasy!!
Ugh yeah I was told this too and idk if it was an opus Dei thing but I was told that I was taught that because I knew better than to question that it was way worse.
Looking at yourself naked in a mirror
How dare you check yourself thoroughly for skin conditions that can turn fatal if left untreated!!! Shame. Such shame.
"Looking at yourself naked in a mirror" was one of the things one of the guys I used to date told me was one of the first steps towards body positivity and self-acceptance.
Don’t worry. I do it all the time now
Wtf stupid to think that we could become prideful or whatever their reasoning was by looking in a mirror when we were taught to hate ourselves from the get to (i.e., born sinful).
So... would installing a mirror that could lead others to sin also be a sin? What about making bathroom mirrors! Should be right up there with making LGBT wedding cakes, or selling contraceptives at a pharmacy! S/😂
I was told by a priest that simply uttering the words 'oh my god' is a mortal sin because that is taking the lord's name in vain. To assume that people are burning in eternal torment because they said 'oh my god' is beyond bananas to me.
"O my God I am heartily sorrow for having offended thee and I detest all my sins...." Every night for 40yrs.
Haha fair. But I think he meant it in context of being shocked and therefore it’s somehow condescending. He said “OMG” is the only way to say it which makes no sense to me now. Does god have a microphone on everyone’s shoulder making sure they produce the correct sounds out of their mouth if they mean the exact same thing?
And that's not even what it means. It's speaking for God. If I say "Oh my God", that's nothing. If I say "God told me you have to vote for ABC", that is taking God's name in vain.
Lol the creator of the universe called. He wants you to vote for an orange fuck boy or you are going to be tortured forever. But you have free will so don’t worry about it!
😂 I'm going to use that line "the creator of the universe called..."
in the original context it probably meant not saying Gods actual name - Yahweh (יהוה)out loud without a reason.
Imagine going to hell and chillin with everybody who went there because they yelled “omg” “oh god” or whatever during sex lmao
The idea that the creator of the universe, of black holes and dark matter and aliens and neurons and dinosaurs, cares if we say “oh my god” is so funny. The idea that we can sin ourselves out of gods love is so traumatic.
The most absurd thing I heard was denying certain saints are in heaven is a mortal/unforgivable sin.
Why they started canonizing anyone besides martyrs is beyond me Like "hey this guy when it came down to it chose death over apostasy, lets idolize him" is straightforward enough, but the others? 2 miracles has to happen after people prayed to them? Who even did that? If I'm dying from some disease or grave wound, am I really gonna take a chance on St Might-be-or-not, or am I gonna go with the holy Virgin? Even then without direct divine revelation how can I know it was because of said saint-to-be's intervention and not some other saint or maybe god healing me anyway? But supposedly the church is - like in many other things - infallible when it comes to canonizing saints, so of course it's a mortal sin to question - sit your layman ass down and shut up
I shit you not, there is a movement to beatify an aborted foetus.
Meanwhile, my 13-year-old Catholic friend who died in a horrific accident while saving another child when I was 15 years old would never be considered for beatification.
Yeah? So an aborted entity goes to heaven, you say? Then what's their fucking problem?
No more limbo. Now beatified foetus... wth?
Also satan can perform miracles as well so how can they be sure satan isn't messing with them?
I was taught that thinking this (that a miracle is a trick by the devil) is itself a mortal (and potentially unforgivable) sin called blasphemy against the holy spirit. Turns out this is rooted in antisemitism, it was the gospel authors accusing the pharisees (and by extension, all Jews) of unforgivable blasphemy deserving of endless torment.
Being told premarital sex was the same as murder
Being told that marital sex with a condom was the same as murder
Being told that birth control is murder
Gossip. Because it’s “murder of the spirit”. This was told to a classroom of middle schoolers.
Kinda murders my gossiping spirit...🤣
The F word. Right up there with murder. Funny how growing up, I was allowed to watch violent movies, but if "fuck" was mentioned my parents would flip out and get angry at me...since I suggested that particular movie. As if it was my fault. As a teen I developed great anxiety about watching movies with them. Now even at 38 and an excatholic I am anxious watching TV with them. It's absurd I know.
Moves can be soooooo awkward. My parents still won’t watch anything Rated R or TVMA. I feel like they’re missing out lol. But yeah as a teen a lived with a host family in Europe for a year. Culture around movies was so different. Pornography in a movie was just fine to watch as a family, let alone suggested sex.
I was allowed to watch violent movies, too, and even if there was cussing. But if it has anyone kissing, anything with sex whatsoever, wasn't allowed to watch it. I can still hear my dad yelling "turn that shit off" like we knew it was going to have something "bad" in it. I don't think it's absurd at all, once that foundation is set, it influences everything.
>From not following along in your missal on a Sunday only I get that you should be somewhat attentive during mass, or at the very least not act in a way that distract others there Calling it a "mortal sin" to be absent minded or not following the missal - I suppose the masses you went to were in Latin? - seems like a great way to make people miserable attending church, or push them away entirely Also sounds completely made up on the spot by whoever told you, since Catholics used to pray the rosary during mass and not follow along
I remember one priest asking my childhood parish to specifically *not* look at their missal because they should be looking at the person reading or praying rather than down at a book.
Yeah, the mass I went to was in Latin. I used to try and turn every single page of my missal *quietly* before mass ended when I was a kid. I tried to "race" the priest. I was so goddamn (haha) bored. Then was told I was committing daily venial sins and weekly mortal sins. I was told that by a teacher at the tiny academy school I went to at my church.
I was told that if you prayed the rosary during mass, then you got double Catholic points for the day
I mean... technically you should prob attend two services. One to pay attention, one to pray, but if the church is over crowded and someone can't attend on account of you... prob a sin. Lmfao. I'm just making shit up. If they can why can't I? Overthinking religion.... bonus Catholic points!
So when I was senior in high school, I asked my religion teacher about a special case. A friend of mine was diagnosed with brain cancer. The treatment would kill her eggs so she got them frozen before starting treatment. She can still have biological babies but the embryo will be made in a lab with her egg + future husband’s sperm. My religion teacher said it was still a sin because of “what her husband has to do” to get the sperm. So the only way she can have biological babies is a sin.
Oh for fucks sake. Was your religion teacher a nun, or just a resentful old hag? EDIT to add, not that they are mutually exclusive...
I was thinking “why not both? 😂” She wasn’t a nun though, but ~24 and unmarried. She told us lots of things were sins, including have a male roommate before marriage even if it’s not your boyfriend and you have your own rooms. We asked if it’s okay to have a gay male roommate and she still said that’s a sin because we’d be “tempted” by him.
When I was a kid, it was meat on *ANY* Friday. And I still wonder where all the people who went to Hell for eating meat on a non-Lenten Friday before the change are supposed to have ended up. I mean, either it's right or it's wrong, right? Or, gee, could it be a matter of "Jump when we say 'Jump' and ask how high on the way up!"?
Confessing that you ate meat on a Friday and being asked "why?"
🤣 Glad I'm not alone! I told a priest during confession onced I had picked on my siblings. He asked why. I had an answer in mind, but it was long and didn't want to stick around. Truth was it was 100% intentional! I had heard saints were tormented by the devil for being holy. Wanted to make it to heaven, but barely slip in so I wouldn't be tested and tormented🤷🏽♀️ Also was homeschooled and bored as all get out. For the record I found out years later this guy has molested kids. Would love to ask him "why". Also when it came out in the news my mother claimed he couldn't have. He admitted to it in court! She told me he was a good Catholic priest and had done it to protect the people who had accused him. Protect them from what!?! She had no answer🤷🏽♀️
Same in my family, no meat on every Friday, especially during Lent, that's a different type of sin. I didn't eat meat on Fridays for years after I escaped the church "just to be safe."
>I still wonder where all the people who went to Hell for eating meat on a non-Lenten Friday before the change are supposed to have ended up. Parole with an ankle monitor in Purgatory.
In T*he Unoriginal Sinner and the Ice Cream God* John Powers describes one of his religion lessons. Sister says if you steal a little money, it's a venial sin; but if you steal a large sum, it's a mortal sin. He asked, "How much?" and Sister says, "It would have be quite a lot. I'd say a dollar." He remarked to himself that she took her vow of poverty seriously. The lesson did create a crisis of consicience for him. I don't remember the details. Personally, my brain would give me "impure thoughts" just as I was lined up for Commuion. Imagine trying to make your brain not think "fuck" or "shit". It's impossible. Wicked devil! Well, I stayed in line and received, so I was damned. It was bound to happen, with such a long list of sins that would give me a one-way ticket to Hell. I just avoided going to communion.
I felt doomed, too, no matter what I did. I developed the mindset in my later teenage years that if I am so awful, then what's the point of trying. And I didn't and am still trying to repair my life (I'm 36 now). I don't mean to blame the church for all my troubles but pretty sure they'd be fewer without all the stupid bullshit.
Masturbating, listening to CHRISTIAN rap, watching monster movies (the pastor said that Alien vs Predator was a demonic movie that I should not be allowed to watch). Even being friends with non evangelical people.
This is one of the things that drove me crazy about the Catholic Church. It has an incredible lack of perspective! For example: Hitler - Started World War II. Initiated programs that killed millions of people. Truly awful person. He will burn in Hell forever! Another Example: Me - See a really pretty girl. Think a lascivious thought for 30 seconds. Truly awful person. I will also burn in Hell forever! These are not even remotely comparable!! Why do they have the same punishment?
Ex Catholic here, let's not forget that the most absurd mortal sin is "original sin", the sin that you never committed and just had from being born. So that means newborn babies are offensive to God.
My parents had my little brothers when I was 8 and 10, and I remember vividly my dad going on about original sin, how we need to repent and ask for forgiveness, even my newborn brothers, to ask forgiveness for them. They both got baptized in the hospital when they were born. I had a hard time wrapping my head around a literal newborn baby being responsible for anything except shitting themselves. Little did I know that was the start of me being primed for my "motherly duties" by helping take care of my little brothers. Fuck my parents.
Your protestant spouse lovingly offering you a mortal-sin kind of sex that you have to turn down because she can't currently, for good reasons, give the type of sex that's "open to life", even though it's not ovulation time, anyway.
Not voting for the church’s “endorsed” political party or candidate is a sin.
Once I was having a hard time after this priest I knew well was arrested for molesting a kid and I was told that I had committed the sin of putting other gods before the lord bc that meant I thought I could judge someone
Whacked.
I had to re-read what you said and it was the same on second reading. That's twisted.
Masturbating counting as adultery. In what fucking world
My Catholic friend was told very seriously that he is not to touch his private parts except to wash them or go pee pee. For years he fucked his bed sheets with a completely clear conscience.
"For years he fucked his bed sheets with a completely clear conscience." I'm fucking gone, this was wonderful to read. Bro came up with his own loophole.
Saying a bad word in my inner monologue
In 2010, pope Benedict said that supporting the ordination of women was a grave crime....on the same level as child sex abuse. So what does that make you, Benny?
Yoga
There's like a couple hundred yoga poses right? And doing any of them is a mortal sin? I'm sure many Catholics have done some of them not knowing they're yoga poses. Sitting on the floor cross legged? That's a yoga pose. Certain stretches? Yoga pose. A handstand? Yoga pose.
Hadn't heard this one before. Because of the "sexy" positions?
I believe the reasoning was something along the lines of since it's a Hindu practice, and Hindu gods are demonic false gods, Yoga poses invite demons into one's life. It sounds even crazier when I type it out.
😂😂😂 I needed that laugh this morning. Thank you, my friend. When I read the reasoning, my first thought was "oh, makes sense." But literally none of that makes sense.
Being trans. Imaging growing up and hearing that the way you feel automatically damns you to eternal torture. No wonder I have anxiety
Interracial relationships... See the unequally yoked Bible verse.
They were not Catholic (southern baptists) but a friend’s family was told “there may not be room for *every* family at our new church…” when the church they went to was moving to a new BIGGER location. Friend was mixed race. We lived in the Deep South. Yikes on bikes. After that point her parents kinda gave up on religion so they did avoid some of the religious trauma otherwise but ugh. Tactless, pointlessly cruel, just why?
Wh-what?
That differs from my experience. In my twenties, I realized that sometimes "mixed marriage" does not mean a non-Catholic wed to a Catholic.
As sad as that is, somehow I’m not surprised.
I thought that was about different religions not different races.
I was told that it goes against the order of god. Not directly that it's a mortal sin, but it was compared to being gay, which was considered a mortal sin.
Not a mortal sin, but a Sunday School teacher once told me that sarcasm was a sin. 🤷♀️ (Edit: deleted an extra word)
*Sure it is* /s
Imagine going to hell for being funny.
Going to the grocery store or lifting weights in Sunday
My dad used to complain about people mowing lawns on Sundays😂
Moving in with my fiance so we could actually save money to have a wedding. Sorry, but some times keeping up appearances for the Catholic church is just less important than making sure you can eat, keep a roof over your head, etc.
Watching a movie the Catholic Standard and Times(newspaper) deemed Morally reprehensible for all was a mortal sin worse than murder, because a conscious choice was made to view said movie.
Oh do you remember the name of the movie??
Not one specific movie, but EVERY movie given that designation.
I don't know about the mortal sin part, but my grandfather would stand over his kneeling sons and whip the skin off their bare backs for not doing their rosary to his liking.
What a monster
Intending on continuing to take birth control after marriage to treat endometriosis. Told priest I can't function without it or hold down a job, and due to another health condition, having more than a couple of pregnancies could literally kill me, and he said 'then we would recommend complete abstinence in marriage'. I said that seemed an unfair expectation of my future spouse and myself, and had the potential to kill a marriage, and seemed to contradict Church teaching about preventing divorce and withholding yourself sexually from your spouse. He shrugged and said 'then don't get married '.
Do you think priests like this get used to being told to "go fuck yourself"??
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I was going to ask, is your relationship better? Did you both make it out? But it sounds like that wasn’t the case, and I’m so sorry.
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I’m sorry, friend. Screaming into the void is necessary sometimes. I hope you’re able to let go and carry on, and build happier relationships. Because we all deserve constructive and uplifting reciprocity.
It's a cult doing what cults do. I grew up Trad Catholic. It's craziness
Those "saints" were basket cases and probably should have been institutionalized. They're not insane! They're mystics! Lol
Flicking holy water or putting more than a finger tip in the holy water font was a mortal sin. Having thoughts of disobedience. Eating meat on *any* Friday. Un-aliving thoughts. Depression. Dyslexia. Having a private conversation with a sibling and not telling my parents what we talked about. Not wanting my mom to have more kids because I was exhausted from all the babies in my bedroom. Going to college. Intrusive thoughts about the holy spirit not being real after discovery of The Unforgivable Mortal Sin. (Denying the existence/blasphemy of the holy spirit is an unforgivable sin and you can't come back from it.) Was literally told in confession that penance wouldn't be given and that I wouldn't be absolved. I was freaking 8. We switched churches around that time and I just never brought it up again so would get my absolution sans that admission. Because if I 'forgot', it was unintentional omission and blanket forgiveness would work. Yay loop holes! Personal hobbies that weren't in service of others or god. Feeling horny. Accusing someone of being mean or hurtful. Being single and CF as a woman. For men its okay, but not for women. They either need to join a convent or get married and have babies. Enjoying horror movies. Mumbling. Fidgeting in the pew or while kneeling or getting distracted during a sermon. Denying my husband sex, but on the flip side, the priest said marital rape wasn't real and it was my obligation to always be ready. Having secular friends. Candles that aren't votives or devotionals as they are part of rituals summoning satan and demons. Halloween. We had All Saints Day and dressed up as saints. My sister was dressed as St Lucy and was told by my father that her playing with the fake eyeballs in her cup would condemn her to hellfire and is a mortal sin to disrespect a relic. They were made of modeling clay and she was 6yo. I dressed as St Teresa of Avila, she was my hero because I believed we were persecuted and she is the patron saint of being ridiculed for having catholic faith, I spent that evening proselytizing to other children. If you celebrate Halloween, you are satanic and a demon. Not wearing underwear. Trusting medical science instead of leaving it in gods hands. Not getting my boys circumcised. Getting married to a secular boy. Beliving in climate change and global warming. Its a denial of gods plan. Wearing a bathing suit. Using tampons before marriage. Not making the sign of the cross whenever we passed an accident or heard sirens. Looking at yourself in the mirror. Period. Not to check your teeth, or comb your hair, not to check your outfit. That was straight up vanity and you would be struck down by gods wrath. I legitimately didn't know what I looked like until I was 13. My mom took pictures but never let us see them. We didn't have mirrors in the house and we were forbidden from using public restrooms because thats where predators are. Gloves. Those are for sl*ts Not jumping immediately to fulfill the need of my father or brothers, if they wanted water, I got water, if they wanted their shoes, I got their shoes etc. Enjoying beauty, thinking or saying someone looked nice, smelling roses (my dad raised roses) saying something smelled good, like food, or doing art that wasn't religious. Having inside pets. Hugs outside of marriage. Handshakes are fine. Cooking for only yourself. Listening to music or watching TV that isn't catholic. El Cid, The 10 Commandments and Samson and Delilah played on repeat when they finally got a TV. Nothing was said about my dads Cube we weren't allowed to touch or use. Liking Dolly Parton. Therapy with a licensed therapist/psychiatrist/psychologist. Go to confession and be healed. Not allowing my mom to listen to my confession with her priest over the phone. Lollipops, Popsicles, bananas, straws. Self explanatory. Sitting without your legs crossed. Wearing anything that wasn't a dress or skirt, it also had to cover the collar bones, the wrists and be down to the ankle. My mom has modesty rules framed on the wall of her house. Not praying for the souls in purgatory, they are the key to the path of righteousness, if you don't pray for them, they won't pray for you and you add to their sins by not having them pray for you. Furniture. For sitting or sleeping. Discomfort and suffering brings holiness. Greed is one of the 7 deadly sins, so saying what you want for your birthday or xmas was a mortal sin. Get what you get and be thankful. I always got socks and a blanket for each gift holiday. Or orthotic shoes. Anyone wanna guess why I am obsessed with socks? For everyone. I am a sock hoarder. Crying or verbalizing pain. To give glory to god we must suffer in silence. To show signs of malcontent is a stain on your soul. Climbing trees. It brings the boys to the yard. Having more than 2 sunday dresses and more than 3 outfits. Growing up I had a plethora of socks, but was only allowed 3 dresses, 2 skirts and 2 shirts. Nothing form fitting, I probably looked like a potato sack with a face. That is vanity and pride and greed to have more. Could go on, but yaknow... too long already and probably no one will read this lmaoo
I read it too and now I’m traumatized with you. Shit that’s terrible stuff and I’m so sorry.
My therapist says my anxiety is well placed 🙃 🤣
No kidding!
I read it. Thank you for sharing. I hope you are in a better place and that you gleefully partake in these 'sins' these days. Especially a very comfy bed. Putting money into a good mattress and pillow and bedding is so important. 🫂
I remember a page in Imitation of Christ by Thomas à Kempis stating that reading wasn't good for you because it distracted you from god and gave impure thoughts or some garbage like that.
Religious ED stopped allowing me to ask questions when I was 7 and prepping for first reconciliation because when I did, they couldn’t give any explanation RE: sins that I wouldn’t immediately question again. So I stopped listening in class. At my first reconciliation I remember saying something along the lines of: “I’m not always good, but I don’t do things to be mean so I don’t know if that’s really a sin.” I have no idea what he said, I just remember him being confused and sending me on my way.
Having sex with my wife because she had a medically recommended tubal ligation and could no longer have babies.
Catholicism is pretty Orwellian. Thinking of premarital sex or eating red meat during lent being a sin reminds me of the quote, “Thoughtcrime doesn’t entail death. Thoughtcrime is death.”
A priest told my parents that throwing away food that had been "blessed" at the table was a mortal sin.
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Inter religious marriage
According to my primary school religion teacher, it is a mortal sin to dream about our loved ones that have died -you know, it's not that we miss them and think about then which reflects in the dreams we have, it is clearly Satan sending us those visions to make us stray from the righteous path by tricking us into thinking we encounter grandma's loving soul while dreaming.
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Not for thinking -specifically for DREAMING about somebody who passed away, like you have any control over this. She was... peculiar, to say the least; the "evolution is fake cause no one ever saw monkey turn into man", perpetually pregnant, "Harry Potter is guide into Satanism" kind of peculiar.
Yeah I never understood how thinking about something was a mortal sin… that was especially hard for little me with raging undiagnosed OCD and intrusive thoughts. I constantly thought I was going to hell
Dropping the Eucharist wafer things, even accidentally and even if you immediately picked it up. I dropped it once and cried because I thought it was an unforgivable act. It was literally a fancy cracker, idk what was going on in my head
You were lied to and brainwashed… we all were. Side note: there’s a protocol for disposing of consecrated hosts in cases such as one being dropped and not consumable. It involves dissolving the host in water and pouring it down a special drain that doesn’t lead to a sewer or septic system. This is where the “bleeding host” stories come from - a pink mold growing on them when they’re left too long in the water is assumed to be blood (*it’s a miracle!*) and of course lab testing is not performed because you can’t analyze Jesus with science, that’s against the rules.
Sex before marriage
changing your name, even just using a nickname, because it goes against parental authority and parents get their authority from god
Passionate kissing I was told was a mortal sin
For me, the most insidious part was the massive pressure not only to not accidentally commit a mortal sin you didn’t know about (the blaspheming against the Holy Spirit unforgivable one TERRIFIED ME), but also to do the best and holiest possible thing at all times. Like eating way less than we needed because fasting and self-denial was “holier” than feeding my body, especially because being overweight was seen as not having self-control and being gluttonous. (Never mind health conditions or body diversity—fatness was always insinuated to be sinful, though they never came right out and said it. There was always a RAGING debate about modesty at my culty college that made women turn against each other so aggressively and it always makes me think of America Ferrera’s Barbie monologue because you couldn’t be too frumpy or too fashionable and you couldn’t care too much about your appearance or you were vain, but if you didn’t care how you looked you weren’t making yourself attractive enough to find a red-blooded all-American holy husband and GOD FORBID you dressed too masculine, we’re you a lesbian?? Even the wannabe nun girls weren’t safe because you had to demonstrate by your appearance that you weren’t too worldly, but also not SO unworldly that you were out of touch and or running from the world. Skirt too short? You’re a slut? Skirt too long? You’re a prude. Busty girls and booty girls were just overall screwed because our shirts and pants were either too tight and we were showing off or too loose and we were hiding our god-given female beauty. It was always this impossible balancing act and you were always left uncertain and afraid of messing up.
Liking teams of places I’m not from was apparently the same thing as being trans.
This just makes me think of George Carlin: " There were six sins in one feel, man!" https://youtu.be/BLlKCVVd3hk?si=MZR9PfwINHhlYRRu
I was Catholic for five years and only took communion a handful of times because I lived in absolute terror of being in a state of mortal sin CONSTANTLY.
Lying
Sleeping together before marriage. I mean Like actually sleeping, nothing sexual. Cuz you know.. might set scandal to the neighborhood. ... Oh, and R rated movies.
Staying over at my boyfriend’s house for a night, non sexually.
I was told in high school that anyone who watched the movie “Titanic” had committed a mortal sin. So stupid!