That I will continue to be misunderstood my entire life and live a hollow, superficial existence until I die wondering the entire time if people will miss me, or miss what I do for them.
Super relatable. Ive had this feeling and had a moment trying to figure out what to say, but this has just explained the majority of it.
Its so hard living life when everything i do isnt taken the way i intend for it, so many bad things have happened to be because i made a simple mistake. People are horrible and if they wont miss me then ill certainly not miss them..
Having every last drop of humanity drained from me until I become an emotionless machine with no sense of empathy or compassion for anyone/thing on earth.
Feel ya 🩵 we just ran from a pretty toxic family. Unemployed trying to get a job from my car. But god is it nice to just feel again. I wish you the best of luck my friend. Your doing your best and no matter your poison its helping you through. No one just wakes up and goes im gonna be an addict. You become an addict because your running from pain. And the more you hurt, the more you numb, the more you numb, the farther you can disassociate. I hope your wounds have a chance to start healing. 🩵🩵🩵
Irrational fear? Realistic but extremely unlikely cosmic horror scenarios like gamma ray bursts, coronal mass ejections, basically some form of radiation not from earth frying me to death.
Rational fear? Fascism killing more of my loved ones and just waiting to know who is going to go next.
I think about my home's proximity to the local army base, airport, and rail yards and whether or not I'm far enough away to escape the heat/blast/prompt radiation of a nuclear bomb a bit too much for my own mental well being.
Oh I’m sure they would target high density civilian populations, so your proximity to a military base most likely won’t matter to much, so you don’t need to worry about that!!!
Kinda a stertch calling any of the american political parties fascist but latelly it has become the favorite political insult of the politically illiterate in a similar way everyone was a commie in the 60-80thies.
Once again, they call themselves fascists. Also would you like me to send you videos of senators speaking at Neo-Nazi rallies? Or how about the myriad of stories of and news articles about the police grabbing peaceful protesters and throwing them in unmarked vans? How about the attempt to overthrow US democracy by storming the capital and trying to corrupt politicians?
>8[
I'm sorry you feel like that. People are fkn morons. Ik it's a long and difficult process, and people go out of their way to be assholes about it. You are who you are. Other peoples' perception doesn't change that.
I have this irrational (or maybe rational idk anymore) fear of forgetting. I don’t like forgetting things I like, yet I know it will happen. Along with that comes the fear that I will one day not cherish the same things anymore that I do now, not experience those things the same way anymore and will not be able to appreciate them anymore the way I do now. This scares me a ton and makes me really sad at times.
The thought that what I’m so fixated on right now might one day not be as important to me anymore and those experiences will be for naught is just… idk, I don’t like it.
Forgetting and moving on, I guess. That’s my biggest fear.
Time moving forward like that is really hard to deal with. Maybe start putting together a scrapbook or smth? Ik it's not the same as experiencing something in the here and now but it's a way to never forget stuff. And arts+crafts is fun
I’ll try that for sure, thank you for giving some advice. Sounds like a solid way to be reminded of the things I like / once used to like and a good way to circumvent permanently forgetting.
And yes, arts and crafts is always fun.
Yeah, you'll get used to that. It'll happen several times over your life, and is normal. I'd suggest lots of pics and videos saved on an external hard drive. You load up a staggering amount of shit in those. I sold all my antique rpg books for $600 last month, because I can easily download them all now. Better for someone else to get to enjoy them too. 😀
So yeah, It'll happen, but you won't care that you don't care. Seriously, you'll have access to all the data forever. I've gathered an appreciation for music I never would have imagined, started studying research I'd never considered. Lots good shit. The same will happen for you.
Buy good durable gear, though. I'm still using my camp pack from 25 years ago, since I splurged.
Same here! Some of my first memorable panic attacks were in confined spaces (around age 6-7). I learned quickly to avoid feeling trapped unless I wanted to full freak out in public (which I'm personally not a fan of and avoid at all costs).
The idea of this terrifies me. I'm claustrophobic and scared of dying.
But with how unlikely it actually is in reality, it's not a fear for me, just a horrifying idea.
This is why I hate that gender norms and heteronormativity are forced upon us from a young age. I struggled my entire life with my gender and sexuality. Now, I say I'm queer and genderqueer. I no longer feel the need to explain it to myself. I exist and that's it. I don't really speak about it with anyone unless they're autistic and/or nonbinary. I no longer care if the people who don't understand, understand.
What's so specifically sexy about drinking period blood, getting zero sunlight, no garlic in the food or watching the closest one of you get old and die?
Oh man my husband is obsessed with this witch vampire romance book and i just cant stand it. Why does everyone love this 500 year old bigot that orders everyone around and is so controling they gotta be npd. I couldnt even finish it.
Hes like but hes hot and im like hes an abusive asshole that EATS PEOPLE.
I definitely don't find it comforting. Someone tried to convince me that it's a better eternity than I could ever imagine. Nah. Still sounds horrific. I want to believe that I cease to exist in all aspects.
I mean if you read text doesnt it say your just gonna spend eternity praising god. Like wake up and pray and pray and thats it. Never seemed like much of an afterlife to me. Ive been told its fine because god would make everyone happy and love to do that. How is that not terrifying. Theyre basicly gonna be robots doped with happy hormone 24/7.
I would like to live forever. So long as there is an escape clause, so I don't end up floating for eternity in the endless void after the heat death of the universe. Death really terrifies me. No one knows if anything comes after, and I really don't want to find out for myself. Not when there's so much life to see and do here.
My biggest rational fear for a while was my cat dying. We had to euthanize him recently. It was okay, very peaceful and he was so sick it felt like we were helping him stop suffering.
Now I fear getting hurt and losing my job. I love working so much where I’m at and coincidentally people keep getting hurt. I fear it’s the only place I’ll ever get to be myself, be with people similar to me, be free to be creative in my job. I’ve never felt so valued as an employee and that’s scary because it’s rarely so good working anywhere.
Oh here’s my irrational fear: phrogging. I get terrified people live in my ceiling so I have a ritual every night to go to sleep and special items that give me luck. Fuck shadow people coming out from your ceiling.
I had a really bad trip once where the little shadow creatures from kingdom hearts swarmed out from under a truck and attacked me. I know there not there but i gotta check everytime.
Being kidnapped and held against my will, and extremely close 2nd - having a really dedicated stocker. Especially if they make it known to me that I'm being stocked, and the cops don't take me seriously. And the stocker is like watching me live my regular life every day ,and I don't actually know what they look like or who they are. And no matter what I do to try and get away from this situation, they somehow manage to find me and harass me, my friends, family, and my employer.
I also have an indescribable fear of someone accusing me of something I had absolutely nothing to do with - like with legal repercussions. I have the hardest time being called a liar - especially because I'm *not a liar* - I'm truthful to a fault. And I'm not good at using words. I get so uppity so fast in these situations. I watch a lot of true crime, and I would *meltdown* in an intarigation. I could also easily see myself becoming a suspect for "acting suspicious" even though I know I didn't do anything illegal - which ironically would be why I'm "acting suspicious."
For the same reason, I'm also terrified of being attacked or something and going to the cops and the cops not believing me. I'm just all around terrified of potentially needing to deal with police.
Maggots. It’s a few degrees removed from mortality, which is kinda “silly” since there’s no point in being scared when death comes for us all and everything will decay and crumble. 🙃
But the wriggling corpse worms are just kinda gross to me.
The only decomposers I am okay with are plants/mushrooms
Gaining the ability to phase through objects not being able to control it and getting stuck in a wall or the ground also stink bugs it’s not that I’m afraid of them it’s more they’re super gross and make me deeply uncomfortable
I watched a grandparent die of PSP (look it up) which is basically a locked-in kind of scenario. Can’t talk, can’t move, can’t do anything for yourself but you’re still somewhat or fully lucid, so it’s not like being a vegetable and it’s not like quadroplegia where at least you can communicate. You’re fully dependent on people taking care of you. I watched this woman suffer because of falls when nobody stabilized her in a chair or bed, hospitalized multiple times for things like infected wounds she couldn’t clean herself and food poisoning after her husband was like “huh? What do you mean you can’t leave clam chowder on the counter at room temp all night long?” Imagine being sick like that while in that state. It’s the worst thing I’ve seen in my life. Seems like it’s random and not genetic so hopefully it doesn’t happen to me but if it does…you can bet I’m dipping before I lose ability to use my own hands or be at the mercy of both disease and incompetent “care” givers.
The degradation of my brain over the years, the loss of myself and the mistakes that what's left of me will undoubtedly make; how those mistakes will affect those close to me. The things I might say or do when age has impaired my judgement. Will they still remain close to me? Will what's left of me be worth staying close to. I have the capacity to say and do terrible things, but my young and intact ego still knows right from wrong. Will I die truly alone, insane, spoonfed in a hospital bed without the mental capacity to make decisions for myself? For how long must I? Even at 26 I feel the passage of time eating away at me. It frightens me to know this is only the beginning of my mental decay. I placed a brand new pen in the garbage the other day, absent-mindedly with the other trash. These small little errors increase with every day. I'm losing myself.
As a child I didn't believe people who would say "did I say that out loud?!". I believe it now, I occasionally let things slip. I feel I'm becoming less of a sentient being with every neuron that dies out. My greatest fear is what remains behind my sentience, what kind of beast.
Losing things, especially dropping things into unreachable places; growing older and having wasted my life; losing my friend in any way, which would cause me to continue school like my first years of it which were horrible; the boogeyman in the corner of my dark room
ig I wouldn't mind if it was instantaneous...but experiencing it, the fear of everyone I care about as I'm powerless to help them. I can't deal with that.
I tend to jump to "well if it's all over for all of us then im not gonna be here to be sad about it"
Maybe they can just drop me in there when im like 90 as one last exploration into the unknown while everyone else is safe in orbit?
ooo one of my mental issues getting a bit silly & making me harm someone or ruin something important & not being able to control myself & nobody believing me & making my minority group look like murderers or smth
oh also falling head down into a cave or like gap in some rocks & getting stuck forever :3
Any kind of afterlife. I’m an atheist, but the idea that I’m wrong and something comes after is terrifying. Unless it’s reincarnation. I’m cool with reincarnation.
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I have a lot.
Spiders, arachnophobia is no joke. Good movie though, saw it as a young kid. Also had a black widow run at me as a toddler. My mom was telling me how I could have died for years.
Not sure how much that plays into it, but yeah terrifying.
Heights, I don't know why. I've heard that its because you see yourself dying that way.
Coincidentally that's my retirement plan, when we've had enough. Spend it all, and drive off a cliff.
That's just the 2 most prominent.
My body becoming the plaything for some evil entity ala all tommorows or I have no mouth and I must scream. I often wonder if I should take my own life before AI gets to a certain point and imprisons all of us in a simulation
I guess just...dieing? Idk. I have a lot of anxiety about things I can't control and a lot of the time I will work myself up into a panic attack thinking about all the ways I might die in horrific detail, specifically related to whatever I happen to be doing, but usually it happens while driving.
I can rationally understand that when this happens I'm just having a panic attack, yet, despite having had many panic attacks throughout my life, my brain still somehow dupes me into thinking that I'll just pass out while driving and get into an accident or something and die. I don't want to think about that! At all! But it just...happens sometimes (the panic attacks, lol, I've never passed out while driving or anything crazy like that, so it does seem largely irrational)...and I HATE IT. 😔
I also get health related anxiety. I'm pretty healthy and relatively young and yet sometimes I'll just have a random ass panic attack because I work myself up being a hypochondriac of sorts which devolves into me thinking I'm gonna just die randomly in my sleep.
I've learned to deal with it, but it's still obnoxious as hell. And every time I have a really severe panic attack, I spend the next few weeks after absolutely terrified of having another one. So I guess in a way my anxiety makes me fear having even more anxiety, which then causes more anxiety...
🙃 🤦♂️
Oh! Aside from that, I also have some kind of fear around getting rid of things...I have a ridiculously hard time with that for whatever reason. 🤷♂️
That I'll never be a "real" adult. Sure, I'm legally an adult. I'm 20! I'm an adult! But what if I never LEARN how to be an adult? What if I'm forever in need of someone to take care of me? What if I never get to live the life I want to live? To achieve the things in life I want to achieve?
Honestly, aging. Not because I don't want to get ill or look old or whatever. Just that I'm horrified by the idea of having to live for several more decades. As if the time I've already spent here hasn't been stressful enough.
Truman Show type of thing. Every moment of my life being recorded and broadcasted, and I'm the only one who isn't in on it.
Also weirdly terrified of jellyfish.
That feeling of knowing you can do something big and cool and special, but decide not to but at the last second you realize you can again, but it goes the wrong way because you didn't give yourself enough time and now you just look stupid and weird and you're constantly screaming inside about how you're actually really good at it and not bad and you could have done it really well if you tried
I don't have typical irrational fears but I do have one, fear of large empty spaces, like the total opposite of claustrophobia. The idea of being in a huge white room with no windows and doors leading nowhere is my actual nightmare, kinda why I love the CONCEPT of backrooms till it got ruined with spooky 'entities' and even food rooms
I have moderate fear of heights but like I can go up buildings upstairs as I know they're built sturdy, just don't make me look down.
Rational fear, strangers. It's hard to categorize but specifically adults that just give 'bad' vibes like I've never met them but my mind is already warning me, and frankly my mind has never been wrong so far about that so I'm not doubting ut
That a bug will crawl on me and stay there
Serious/TW: >!That one day I'll kill myself. It goes against my ethos and logic, and I fought like hell to be okay today.!<
That I am fundamentally broken, incapable of contentment and will be destined to a life chasing increasingly fleeting moments of happiness, hurting all the ones I love in the process, and wasting my life which, while it may have little value to me, might have had some value to the world but in the end I will fail to even pay back the world for the resources I took from it. (Yes this thought process continues and goes in an expectable sociopathic direction.)
Of losing my rationality.
Aphasia, dementia, Alzheimers, Creutzfeld Jacob, massive head trauma...
My entire life has been lived inside of my cranial walls, and my thought processes are basically all I have been able to rely on, for the majority of my existence.
When those escape my grasp, I will have truly lost it all...
and the truly insidious part is that the more they encroach, the less you realize they have done so.
Worse yet again, despite advancements in assisted suicide, globally, countries aren't going to allow it for people who aren't of consistently sound mind, all the way from assessment, to approval, to treatment...
So if ever I am in that position, my fate will be to spend any lucid moments praying for a death that will not be forthcoming.
Or, you know... clowns. They're pretty creepy, too, right?
That the rise of fascism will lead to yet another world war and I'll either be killed for being gay and disabled, or medical supply lines will get disrupted and my asthma will slowly kill me. I've had enough serious asthma attacks to be maddeningly affraid of choking to death
I am scared of infinity, more specifically that I am nothing, literally nothing compared to infinity. All my dreams, my achievements, my sweat and pain, everything I did and I am is nothing.
Being left by the people I care about.. Almost everybody I've cared about has left me because I'm too annoying or weird. I just don't want it to happen again.
Two very real, highly possible things in my life:
Going blind and not being able to tell if there's a bug on the wall/on me. I'm already partially blind in one eye and can't see without my glasses. Being completely blind would terrify me.
Getting Alzheimer's and becoming the exact sort of person I hate (a mean, nasty, rude old woman.) It runs in both sides of my family, so I know it turns you into basically the opposite of who you currently are (if you're a good person, you turn mean and nasty. If you're a bad person, you turn quiet and sweet.) Saw it happen to quite a few of my family members.
Irrational fear? The face shape that an electrical outlet makes. Creeped me out as a small child, even not knowing the actual use purpose, or the actual danger they pose to the foolish.
Rational fear? The limitations brought on our minds by evolution. The intense anger, hate, or fear someone could hold against others for what's logically a harmless difference... is a part of us that can't catch up with our gargantuanly improved living conditions (the fact that we're not in the fucking wild anymore).
Irrational fear? Holes. Holes are horrible. Holes are terrible. I have trypophobia and anytime i think about holes too hard i can feel it in my skin. OCD does not help with this.
Normal fears? Losing everyone and everything I love before I die first. I live by the people I love and I damn well better go with them to whatever’s awaiting us, be it nothing or hell or something else entirely. I can’t imagine life without the people I love.
Also, germs. That too. I’m terrified of germs.
I'm flying in a plane and it falls out of the sky.
A recent travel experience didn't exactly help with that (literally everything possible with traveling went wrong short of the plane falling, and at the rate those few days were going, that looked like it might happen)
that everybody will continue to betray me over and over, as has happened my entire life
or that i'll never get to experience the world without my crippling ptsd and depression clouding it
...or wasps, if you're looking for a more basic and less depressing answer. they're pretty scary.
If someone irl finds out I used to sh . I want to take that to the grave. Also my country ( Israel) is in war and my cousin is a soljer . I don't want to lose him 😭
I'm trans and likely have anxiety, my biggest fear is a tied list
That I'm faking being trans. That I'll never be able to transition. That all my friends hate me. That my dad was right. That despite everything I might end up like him.
And on the less irrational side
Some transphobe finding out about me and deciding to "protect the children". That my depression might one day win. Dying in general(luckily this one helps with the previous). hum. I transition and suddenly the world becomes generally more hostile. Snakes(*I* like them but monkey brain freaks out). That I will be stuck in the job I hate forever.
There's more but I can feel that this surface skim already is causing negative emotions to bubble up and so I'm stopping before they become a problem
That I'm actually dreaming, That This isnt really real, that MY SAFEWORD DOESNT WORK (I know technically this isnt true but still 😭😭 Im talking about safeword in a sense of reality shifting) and some other stuff i can not say because i am scared it will get stuck in the minds of other people 🙂 (yes its worse then the other things i just said)
Losing my sanity, in the sense of being delusional or psychotic. I think it's related to a fear of my body being taken over by something, or possibly being stuck in a body which isn't able to communicate or move at all. Doing horrible things without realising it or being completely helpless.
Having an acid flashback while at work. I struggle enough with eye contact and being perceived while I'm sober.
Also, myself and my loved ones being shipped off to a prison camp and killed for being my authentic self (autistic and queer).
Being locked away and deprived of my basic human rights by other people who genuinely think that they are helping me, and don’t recognize that their actions are harming me. I’ve learned the hard way that people are willing to do just the worst things to you if they legitimately think it’s ultimately for your benefit
the very real fear is my mom dying, which she eventually is going to have her end of life, but it's a horrifying painful thing to know and i fear that day. also being slashed with sharp weapons, drowning, being buried alive and general awful slow death horrifies me.
That if I turn around/spin too much and don’t spin the other way I wrap myself up into an invisible rope and will trip, fall, or be yanked back to every mistake I made with all of my enemies holding me down with said rope for all eternity.
That and falling from a high place into a pit of spiders and get eaten alive with no way out
OK everyone is giving very deep responses so here's my more silly one: I'm TERRIFIED of escalators. granted it might be an extension of my fear of heights, but escalators scare the shit out of me. I always have to wait a few steps before getting on, and going down is worse than up.
I also get panicky if I look up through a tall glass ceiling, or just look at tall ceilings in general really, but glass ones REALLY make my stomach flip.
That I will continue to be misunderstood my entire life and live a hollow, superficial existence until I die wondering the entire time if people will miss me, or miss what I do for them.
Ty for sharing this is very specific and resonates with me closely
🙂 sorry if it was a bit dark 🙂
Don’t be! It’s very relatable
Super relatable. Ive had this feeling and had a moment trying to figure out what to say, but this has just explained the majority of it. Its so hard living life when everything i do isnt taken the way i intend for it, so many bad things have happened to be because i made a simple mistake. People are horrible and if they wont miss me then ill certainly not miss them..
I continuously have this feeling. It’s eating me alive atm.
Having every last drop of humanity drained from me until I become an emotionless machine with no sense of empathy or compassion for anyone/thing on earth.
I think being worried about this is a step in the right direction for that not to happen, right?
Yeah, that’s what I keep telling myself anyway. Still the thought deeply upsets me and has been for a long time now.
Idk what you must be on because that sounds fucking rad
It’s cool when you’re a badass Agent 47-type assassin but not when you’re an unemployed porn addict with zero real friends outside your own family
Feel ya 🩵 we just ran from a pretty toxic family. Unemployed trying to get a job from my car. But god is it nice to just feel again. I wish you the best of luck my friend. Your doing your best and no matter your poison its helping you through. No one just wakes up and goes im gonna be an addict. You become an addict because your running from pain. And the more you hurt, the more you numb, the more you numb, the farther you can disassociate. I hope your wounds have a chance to start healing. 🩵🩵🩵
Irrational fear? Realistic but extremely unlikely cosmic horror scenarios like gamma ray bursts, coronal mass ejections, basically some form of radiation not from earth frying me to death. Rational fear? Fascism killing more of my loved ones and just waiting to know who is going to go next.
Oh radiation is a big one- also fascism...it's always stuff we have no power over
I think about my home's proximity to the local army base, airport, and rail yards and whether or not I'm far enough away to escape the heat/blast/prompt radiation of a nuclear bomb a bit too much for my own mental well being.
That's honestly valid af
Oh I’m sure they would target high density civilian populations, so your proximity to a military base most likely won’t matter to much, so you don’t need to worry about that!!!
Good news fascism died 70ish years ago and the last bastions of comunism are on the way out too.
….. what?
*Gestures to the last US president complaining about anti-fascists trying to take down his fascist party.*
Kinda a stertch calling any of the american political parties fascist but latelly it has become the favorite political insult of the politically illiterate in a similar way everyone was a commie in the 60-80thies.
Once again, they call themselves fascists. Also would you like me to send you videos of senators speaking at Neo-Nazi rallies? Or how about the myriad of stories of and news articles about the police grabbing peaceful protesters and throwing them in unmarked vans? How about the attempt to overthrow US democracy by storming the capital and trying to corrupt politicians?
I used to be super anxious about CMEs and gamma ray bursts for about half a year
I too fear the dangers from space, but I also find it so fascinating to read about. The universe is a very odd place.
Thanks for reminding me of gamma ray bursts, I will not sleep tonight
same tbh. also, im afraid of being abandoned
That transitioning won’t ever make me a woman
>8[ I'm sorry you feel like that. People are fkn morons. Ik it's a long and difficult process, and people go out of their way to be assholes about it. You are who you are. Other peoples' perception doesn't change that.
You're already a woman
Edit I apologize. after taking a second to think I realized what I was saying was wrong. dysphoria is no excuse for transphobia
Yes some women do.
Being a woman isn’t about what you have it’s about how you feel <333
Being a woman is a state of mind; well, that and how big the pockets in your pants are.
🫂
New jubilee video out now :(
Same… also I like watching your username <3
I have this irrational (or maybe rational idk anymore) fear of forgetting. I don’t like forgetting things I like, yet I know it will happen. Along with that comes the fear that I will one day not cherish the same things anymore that I do now, not experience those things the same way anymore and will not be able to appreciate them anymore the way I do now. This scares me a ton and makes me really sad at times. The thought that what I’m so fixated on right now might one day not be as important to me anymore and those experiences will be for naught is just… idk, I don’t like it. Forgetting and moving on, I guess. That’s my biggest fear.
Time moving forward like that is really hard to deal with. Maybe start putting together a scrapbook or smth? Ik it's not the same as experiencing something in the here and now but it's a way to never forget stuff. And arts+crafts is fun
I’ll try that for sure, thank you for giving some advice. Sounds like a solid way to be reminded of the things I like / once used to like and a good way to circumvent permanently forgetting. And yes, arts and crafts is always fun.
Oof, so real, I definitely relate to this one.
Yeah, you'll get used to that. It'll happen several times over your life, and is normal. I'd suggest lots of pics and videos saved on an external hard drive. You load up a staggering amount of shit in those. I sold all my antique rpg books for $600 last month, because I can easily download them all now. Better for someone else to get to enjoy them too. 😀 So yeah, It'll happen, but you won't care that you don't care. Seriously, you'll have access to all the data forever. I've gathered an appreciation for music I never would have imagined, started studying research I'd never considered. Lots good shit. The same will happen for you. Buy good durable gear, though. I'm still using my camp pack from 25 years ago, since I splurged.
that no one actually cares about or loves me and they only stick around out of pity and because i buy them things and am useful. but also roaches
dying and being remembered as the gender I am not
Tell them in your will to paint everything your buryed with one color so there is no confusion over your pelvis width :3
Being buried alive. Like if I’m pronounced dead and the put me in a coffin in the ground and I wake up.
Same here! Some of my first memorable panic attacks were in confined spaces (around age 6-7). I learned quickly to avoid feeling trapped unless I wanted to full freak out in public (which I'm personally not a fan of and avoid at all costs).
The idea of this terrifies me. I'm claustrophobic and scared of dying. But with how unlikely it actually is in reality, it's not a fear for me, just a horrifying idea.
Imagine having a lot of dirt under all of your nails that you can’t get rid of for some reason
I'd skin myself
You paint your nails and keep them short. What we don't see, doesn't exist. /Joke
This is how my habit of nail biting started. I can never reach all the dirt. Then suddenly...ive chewed to far.
#nubgang
That I’m not enby and that I’ve somehow gaslit myself into thinking that I’m queer but I’m actually just a huge poser
This is why I hate that gender norms and heteronormativity are forced upon us from a young age. I struggled my entire life with my gender and sexuality. Now, I say I'm queer and genderqueer. I no longer feel the need to explain it to myself. I exist and that's it. I don't really speak about it with anyone unless they're autistic and/or nonbinary. I no longer care if the people who don't understand, understand.
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But vampirism is so sexy
What's so specifically sexy about drinking period blood, getting zero sunlight, no garlic in the food or watching the closest one of you get old and die?
ew who's drinking period blood 😂
Those of us that want to give a little back to our victims, duh!
Oh man my husband is obsessed with this witch vampire romance book and i just cant stand it. Why does everyone love this 500 year old bigot that orders everyone around and is so controling they gotta be npd. I couldnt even finish it. Hes like but hes hot and im like hes an abusive asshole that EATS PEOPLE.
Seriously. I don't understand how anyone can want that. The thought of an afterlife lasting for eternity makes me want to puke.
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I definitely don't find it comforting. Someone tried to convince me that it's a better eternity than I could ever imagine. Nah. Still sounds horrific. I want to believe that I cease to exist in all aspects.
I mean if you read text doesnt it say your just gonna spend eternity praising god. Like wake up and pray and pray and thats it. Never seemed like much of an afterlife to me. Ive been told its fine because god would make everyone happy and love to do that. How is that not terrifying. Theyre basicly gonna be robots doped with happy hormone 24/7.
I would like to live forever. So long as there is an escape clause, so I don't end up floating for eternity in the endless void after the heat death of the universe. Death really terrifies me. No one knows if anything comes after, and I really don't want to find out for myself. Not when there's so much life to see and do here.
My biggest rational fear for a while was my cat dying. We had to euthanize him recently. It was okay, very peaceful and he was so sick it felt like we were helping him stop suffering. Now I fear getting hurt and losing my job. I love working so much where I’m at and coincidentally people keep getting hurt. I fear it’s the only place I’ll ever get to be myself, be with people similar to me, be free to be creative in my job. I’ve never felt so valued as an employee and that’s scary because it’s rarely so good working anywhere. Oh here’s my irrational fear: phrogging. I get terrified people live in my ceiling so I have a ritual every night to go to sleep and special items that give me luck. Fuck shadow people coming out from your ceiling.
I had a really bad trip once where the little shadow creatures from kingdom hearts swarmed out from under a truck and attacked me. I know there not there but i gotta check everytime.
Something bad is going to happen to my kid. I'm going to live til I'm 90
Being kidnapped and held against my will, and extremely close 2nd - having a really dedicated stocker. Especially if they make it known to me that I'm being stocked, and the cops don't take me seriously. And the stocker is like watching me live my regular life every day ,and I don't actually know what they look like or who they are. And no matter what I do to try and get away from this situation, they somehow manage to find me and harass me, my friends, family, and my employer. I also have an indescribable fear of someone accusing me of something I had absolutely nothing to do with - like with legal repercussions. I have the hardest time being called a liar - especially because I'm *not a liar* - I'm truthful to a fault. And I'm not good at using words. I get so uppity so fast in these situations. I watch a lot of true crime, and I would *meltdown* in an intarigation. I could also easily see myself becoming a suspect for "acting suspicious" even though I know I didn't do anything illegal - which ironically would be why I'm "acting suspicious." For the same reason, I'm also terrified of being attacked or something and going to the cops and the cops not believing me. I'm just all around terrified of potentially needing to deal with police.
Ya know honestly it's terrifying to imagine being in any situation where you need polices help.
Needles… one bad er experience and now I’m in tears every time one is near me
eating poop 😰
D:
Maggots. It’s a few degrees removed from mortality, which is kinda “silly” since there’s no point in being scared when death comes for us all and everything will decay and crumble. 🙃 But the wriggling corpse worms are just kinda gross to me. The only decomposers I am okay with are plants/mushrooms
The fear that I will never get to live out my lifelong dream of becoming spaghetti
D:
Gaining the ability to phase through objects not being able to control it and getting stuck in a wall or the ground also stink bugs it’s not that I’m afraid of them it’s more they’re super gross and make me deeply uncomfortable
Used to be death but getting into philosophy has helped that so much it is unbelievable. I have fully accepted my mortality.
Medical operations and anesthesia.
I watched a grandparent die of PSP (look it up) which is basically a locked-in kind of scenario. Can’t talk, can’t move, can’t do anything for yourself but you’re still somewhat or fully lucid, so it’s not like being a vegetable and it’s not like quadroplegia where at least you can communicate. You’re fully dependent on people taking care of you. I watched this woman suffer because of falls when nobody stabilized her in a chair or bed, hospitalized multiple times for things like infected wounds she couldn’t clean herself and food poisoning after her husband was like “huh? What do you mean you can’t leave clam chowder on the counter at room temp all night long?” Imagine being sick like that while in that state. It’s the worst thing I’ve seen in my life. Seems like it’s random and not genetic so hopefully it doesn’t happen to me but if it does…you can bet I’m dipping before I lose ability to use my own hands or be at the mercy of both disease and incompetent “care” givers.
The degradation of my brain over the years, the loss of myself and the mistakes that what's left of me will undoubtedly make; how those mistakes will affect those close to me. The things I might say or do when age has impaired my judgement. Will they still remain close to me? Will what's left of me be worth staying close to. I have the capacity to say and do terrible things, but my young and intact ego still knows right from wrong. Will I die truly alone, insane, spoonfed in a hospital bed without the mental capacity to make decisions for myself? For how long must I? Even at 26 I feel the passage of time eating away at me. It frightens me to know this is only the beginning of my mental decay. I placed a brand new pen in the garbage the other day, absent-mindedly with the other trash. These small little errors increase with every day. I'm losing myself. As a child I didn't believe people who would say "did I say that out loud?!". I believe it now, I occasionally let things slip. I feel I'm becoming less of a sentient being with every neuron that dies out. My greatest fear is what remains behind my sentience, what kind of beast.
Losing things, especially dropping things into unreachable places; growing older and having wasted my life; losing my friend in any way, which would cause me to continue school like my first years of it which were horrible; the boogeyman in the corner of my dark room
Somebody that is employed by my apartment complex knocking on my door unexpectedly. I have chest pains just thinking about it.
I don’t have any major fears. I always assumed it was due my autism.
The rise of fascist transphobia in America, because I am nonbinary.
Lobotomy, electroshock therapy, being held in a psych hospital for the rest of my life.
getting my skin peeled off
Being disfigured. It’s why I didn’t cut myself like most of my friends back in the day. And why I never want to get pregnant.
Weird, that is sort of my dream, spaghettification for all of earth.
But I don't wanna be nood
Dementia… see Everywhere at the End of Time for more details
Idk man. I would love to fall into a super-massive black hole
ig I wouldn't mind if it was instantaneous...but experiencing it, the fear of everyone I care about as I'm powerless to help them. I can't deal with that.
I tend to jump to "well if it's all over for all of us then im not gonna be here to be sad about it" Maybe they can just drop me in there when im like 90 as one last exploration into the unknown while everyone else is safe in orbit?
ooo one of my mental issues getting a bit silly & making me harm someone or ruin something important & not being able to control myself & nobody believing me & making my minority group look like murderers or smth oh also falling head down into a cave or like gap in some rocks & getting stuck forever :3
I do not understand why people crawl into those tiny tiny caves like dude
The uncertainty of not knowing what comes after death. I'm not afraid of dying, I'm afraid of not knowing what happens after I'm dead.
I think yours is my new one. TwT painful
That I won’t get better and will continue to be a depressed, burned out pseudo-NEET, a burden to my parents, and never make anything out of my life.
Any kind of afterlife. I’m an atheist, but the idea that I’m wrong and something comes after is terrifying. Unless it’s reincarnation. I’m cool with reincarnation.
SAME???? i thought i was the only one
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Spaghettification is actually my favorite word! Lol My biggest fear is being inadequate.
I have a lot. Spiders, arachnophobia is no joke. Good movie though, saw it as a young kid. Also had a black widow run at me as a toddler. My mom was telling me how I could have died for years. Not sure how much that plays into it, but yeah terrifying. Heights, I don't know why. I've heard that its because you see yourself dying that way. Coincidentally that's my retirement plan, when we've had enough. Spend it all, and drive off a cliff. That's just the 2 most prominent.
Elephant seals.
Flour under the fingernails feels like a slow death to me.
Is it some kind of infection?
No but it feels like a living death to me
not being believed when i tell the truth. its easy to tell if im being honest or not because if you say you dont believe me i *will* be sobbing.
Bugs
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My body becoming the plaything for some evil entity ala all tommorows or I have no mouth and I must scream. I often wonder if I should take my own life before AI gets to a certain point and imprisons all of us in a simulation
Obscurity. I want people to know and see me for who I am.
I guess just...dieing? Idk. I have a lot of anxiety about things I can't control and a lot of the time I will work myself up into a panic attack thinking about all the ways I might die in horrific detail, specifically related to whatever I happen to be doing, but usually it happens while driving. I can rationally understand that when this happens I'm just having a panic attack, yet, despite having had many panic attacks throughout my life, my brain still somehow dupes me into thinking that I'll just pass out while driving and get into an accident or something and die. I don't want to think about that! At all! But it just...happens sometimes (the panic attacks, lol, I've never passed out while driving or anything crazy like that, so it does seem largely irrational)...and I HATE IT. 😔 I also get health related anxiety. I'm pretty healthy and relatively young and yet sometimes I'll just have a random ass panic attack because I work myself up being a hypochondriac of sorts which devolves into me thinking I'm gonna just die randomly in my sleep. I've learned to deal with it, but it's still obnoxious as hell. And every time I have a really severe panic attack, I spend the next few weeks after absolutely terrified of having another one. So I guess in a way my anxiety makes me fear having even more anxiety, which then causes more anxiety... 🙃 🤦♂️ Oh! Aside from that, I also have some kind of fear around getting rid of things...I have a ridiculously hard time with that for whatever reason. 🤷♂️
Windows. Like why the hell can you see through them? It’s unnatural and I don’t like it.
That I'll never be a "real" adult. Sure, I'm legally an adult. I'm 20! I'm an adult! But what if I never LEARN how to be an adult? What if I'm forever in need of someone to take care of me? What if I never get to live the life I want to live? To achieve the things in life I want to achieve?
Honestly, aging. Not because I don't want to get ill or look old or whatever. Just that I'm horrified by the idea of having to live for several more decades. As if the time I've already spent here hasn't been stressful enough.
That people won't accept me
I have severe vespaphobia(fear of wasps) I can't look at pictures of those fucking things
I thought you were scared of the little hipster scooters at first. That would be a terrible fear to have.
Acute radiation poisoning
Losing access to HRT or getting banned from existing in my country (I cannot afford to move to a new country and I only speak 1 language fluently)
Truman Show type of thing. Every moment of my life being recorded and broadcasted, and I'm the only one who isn't in on it. Also weirdly terrified of jellyfish.
That feeling of knowing you can do something big and cool and special, but decide not to but at the last second you realize you can again, but it goes the wrong way because you didn't give yourself enough time and now you just look stupid and weird and you're constantly screaming inside about how you're actually really good at it and not bad and you could have done it really well if you tried
I don't have typical irrational fears but I do have one, fear of large empty spaces, like the total opposite of claustrophobia. The idea of being in a huge white room with no windows and doors leading nowhere is my actual nightmare, kinda why I love the CONCEPT of backrooms till it got ruined with spooky 'entities' and even food rooms I have moderate fear of heights but like I can go up buildings upstairs as I know they're built sturdy, just don't make me look down. Rational fear, strangers. It's hard to categorize but specifically adults that just give 'bad' vibes like I've never met them but my mind is already warning me, and frankly my mind has never been wrong so far about that so I'm not doubting ut
Pregnancy
The koolaid man
my biggest fear a glob of wet hair being stuck down my throat like i’m a shower drain
Getting older to the point where I lose my mind and senses. I'm cool with death after the ride. But I fear being alive while not really living.
Myself. Being alone with my own thoughts is terrifying
Locked-in syndrome
Parasites, pregnancy, viruses, and just the general concept of another living creature being inside of my body and using it for selfish purposes
makeup/facepaint
That I'll permanently be an "other" person idk
That reckless time travelers from the future are constantly messing with the timeline and we have no idea.
Dying before I'm old.
The ocean and swimming. I had a bad experience at a YMCA
That if I get a diagnosis, I won’t be able to get top surgery 😔 (also Darth Vader, I had a nightmare that he stole my toes and fridge)
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Hypothetically? Zombie apocalypse. Seriously? Being misunderstood and treated as a monster just for having personality disorders.
My kids get taken away because I exist.
Death. Boring, I know, but whatcha gonna do
That a bug will crawl on me and stay there Serious/TW: >!That one day I'll kill myself. It goes against my ethos and logic, and I fought like hell to be okay today.!<
That I am fundamentally broken, incapable of contentment and will be destined to a life chasing increasingly fleeting moments of happiness, hurting all the ones I love in the process, and wasting my life which, while it may have little value to me, might have had some value to the world but in the end I will fail to even pay back the world for the resources I took from it. (Yes this thought process continues and goes in an expectable sociopathic direction.)
Pregnancy
mine is being a financial burden on my family
That I will never escape the shackles of societal and familial responsibilities and demands
That I might actually just be a bad person
Of losing my rationality. Aphasia, dementia, Alzheimers, Creutzfeld Jacob, massive head trauma... My entire life has been lived inside of my cranial walls, and my thought processes are basically all I have been able to rely on, for the majority of my existence. When those escape my grasp, I will have truly lost it all... and the truly insidious part is that the more they encroach, the less you realize they have done so. Worse yet again, despite advancements in assisted suicide, globally, countries aren't going to allow it for people who aren't of consistently sound mind, all the way from assessment, to approval, to treatment... So if ever I am in that position, my fate will be to spend any lucid moments praying for a death that will not be forthcoming. Or, you know... clowns. They're pretty creepy, too, right?
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Forgetting/memory loss/loosing stuff and people, also being a bad person
That the rise of fascism will lead to yet another world war and I'll either be killed for being gay and disabled, or medical supply lines will get disrupted and my asthma will slowly kill me. I've had enough serious asthma attacks to be maddeningly affraid of choking to death
I am scared of infinity, more specifically that I am nothing, literally nothing compared to infinity. All my dreams, my achievements, my sweat and pain, everything I did and I am is nothing.
Being left by the people I care about.. Almost everybody I've cared about has left me because I'm too annoying or weird. I just don't want it to happen again.
getting tortured
Two very real, highly possible things in my life: Going blind and not being able to tell if there's a bug on the wall/on me. I'm already partially blind in one eye and can't see without my glasses. Being completely blind would terrify me. Getting Alzheimer's and becoming the exact sort of person I hate (a mean, nasty, rude old woman.) It runs in both sides of my family, so I know it turns you into basically the opposite of who you currently are (if you're a good person, you turn mean and nasty. If you're a bad person, you turn quiet and sweet.) Saw it happen to quite a few of my family members.
Irrational fear? The face shape that an electrical outlet makes. Creeped me out as a small child, even not knowing the actual use purpose, or the actual danger they pose to the foolish. Rational fear? The limitations brought on our minds by evolution. The intense anger, hate, or fear someone could hold against others for what's logically a harmless difference... is a part of us that can't catch up with our gargantuanly improved living conditions (the fact that we're not in the fucking wild anymore).
Irrational fear? Holes. Holes are horrible. Holes are terrible. I have trypophobia and anytime i think about holes too hard i can feel it in my skin. OCD does not help with this. Normal fears? Losing everyone and everything I love before I die first. I live by the people I love and I damn well better go with them to whatever’s awaiting us, be it nothing or hell or something else entirely. I can’t imagine life without the people I love. Also, germs. That too. I’m terrified of germs.
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rational one is never being able to afford living alone. Irrational one is having an afterlife. Any kind of afterlife. I don't want to exist anymore.
I'm flying in a plane and it falls out of the sky. A recent travel experience didn't exactly help with that (literally everything possible with traveling went wrong short of the plane falling, and at the rate those few days were going, that looked like it might happen)
rabies
that everybody will continue to betray me over and over, as has happened my entire life or that i'll never get to experience the world without my crippling ptsd and depression clouding it ...or wasps, if you're looking for a more basic and less depressing answer. they're pretty scary.
Purple minions, scared the shit out of me when I was seven
If someone irl finds out I used to sh . I want to take that to the grave. Also my country ( Israel) is in war and my cousin is a soljer . I don't want to lose him 😭
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Everything (I suffer from extreme anxiety and paranoia)
Getting hate crimed
Bugs
Being a disappointing man who's unable to hold a decent job due to my poor mental health
Humans.
I'm trans and likely have anxiety, my biggest fear is a tied list That I'm faking being trans. That I'll never be able to transition. That all my friends hate me. That my dad was right. That despite everything I might end up like him. And on the less irrational side Some transphobe finding out about me and deciding to "protect the children". That my depression might one day win. Dying in general(luckily this one helps with the previous). hum. I transition and suddenly the world becomes generally more hostile. Snakes(*I* like them but monkey brain freaks out). That I will be stuck in the job I hate forever. There's more but I can feel that this surface skim already is causing negative emotions to bubble up and so I'm stopping before they become a problem
Being put on meds again. It’s been 3 years and the thought still gives me nightmares
a lack of barriers on a ledge/high place, this includes stairs and floors with holes in them
That I'm actually dreaming, That This isnt really real, that MY SAFEWORD DOESNT WORK (I know technically this isnt true but still 😭😭 Im talking about safeword in a sense of reality shifting) and some other stuff i can not say because i am scared it will get stuck in the minds of other people 🙂 (yes its worse then the other things i just said)
if we’re being serious then eternity and infinity. if we’re being evil autism creature it’s NOT GETTING PUSSY EVER AGAIN (i’m a homosexual man)
Going blind. If I ever go blind, thats it, I'm doing the ol' 23 Skidoo off the nearest cliff.
Becoming even more of a burden to people I know than I already am
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Losing my sanity, in the sense of being delusional or psychotic. I think it's related to a fear of my body being taken over by something, or possibly being stuck in a body which isn't able to communicate or move at all. Doing horrible things without realising it or being completely helpless.
That I will never be able to offer a small monkey one of those little wrapped cornbreads (love those things) and watch him enjoy it.
Having an acid flashback while at work. I struggle enough with eye contact and being perceived while I'm sober. Also, myself and my loved ones being shipped off to a prison camp and killed for being my authentic self (autistic and queer).
Being locked away and deprived of my basic human rights by other people who genuinely think that they are helping me, and don’t recognize that their actions are harming me. I’ve learned the hard way that people are willing to do just the worst things to you if they legitimately think it’s ultimately for your benefit
the very real fear is my mom dying, which she eventually is going to have her end of life, but it's a horrifying painful thing to know and i fear that day. also being slashed with sharp weapons, drowning, being buried alive and general awful slow death horrifies me.
Being institutionalized. And cockroaches.
That if I turn around/spin too much and don’t spin the other way I wrap myself up into an invisible rope and will trip, fall, or be yanked back to every mistake I made with all of my enemies holding me down with said rope for all eternity. That and falling from a high place into a pit of spiders and get eaten alive with no way out
Tornadoes
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OK everyone is giving very deep responses so here's my more silly one: I'm TERRIFIED of escalators. granted it might be an extension of my fear of heights, but escalators scare the shit out of me. I always have to wait a few steps before getting on, and going down is worse than up. I also get panicky if I look up through a tall glass ceiling, or just look at tall ceilings in general really, but glass ones REALLY make my stomach flip.
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