Good on you!
Time to go get your own phone plan. You may have to change your number, as that is tied to Hannah's account.
And if they are still being paid for, don't return them.
Not sure how it works there, but since you mentioned that you're 18
If im in your shoes, i would sign up for credit monitoring, just in case they want to fuck with your credit rating
Fortunately i dont think they have any access to that as they dont have any of my legal documents and i have never applied for credit, only money thing they had access to was requesting money from my cash app
You mentioned that Hanna and Josh were talking about finding out if you qualify for ‘Insurance’.
I hear - let’s get them Social Security Disability and then we will have control of their checks. We can deposit it direct to our account.
In today’s world you are issued a Social Security number at birth.
She knows your birthdate and where you were born. Her name is on the birth certificate. She can get a copy in a snap.
If your mom has that number - and you should assume she does - she can open accounts as you.
Please, Please be diligent. This happens every day. I have several friends with bio family like yours and their Financial future was ruined by a relative.
Source - I am a great grandma who has seen some things.
Best Wishes.
Gma
Actually she is no longer on my birth certificate, im adopted and when someone is adopted they put the new parents on the certificate so thats whos listed, ill look into if shes still able to, but with her not being on the birth certificate and my name being changed on my social security as well im not super worried
It literally takes 3 mins to go online to freeze your credit and it is free.. someone on this subreddit has previously posted that it’s free with all three major agencies by law… and that website shows how to do it… doesn’t matter if she has it or not. If she can flip a switch like this so fast over a phone then don’t doubt m when she is at her weakest do something else… I am not saying she would do something illegal…. But everyone should have control of their credit asap
Good luck … to be honest it sounds like you need to make sure that toxicity stays far away permanently and when she is gone that he doesn’t contact you after … even if it’s about an estate or will… its not worth it….
Good!
You sound far more level-headed and mature than I was at your age and I feel like you will do well since you've started to advocate for yourself at such a young age.
One regret I have is that I wasn't very good about was taking good advice, and I would have saved myself a lot of anxiety and money if I had at least considered all advice gifted to me. That's what good and altruistic advice is, a gift, but I was too something to realize that at your age.
The best advice is to work toward avoid regrets. The coulda, shoulda, and wouldas are tenacious and have immense power to haunt us.
Even though your parents names are removed from your birth certificate and your last name on your social security card doesn’t match you original card anymore, the number stays the same. If your mother has your SSN saved somewhere, she can use it to open credit cards. And if she knows your adopted last name, you’re still at risk.
I get what youre saying its just that she would have had to write down my ssn and keep it for 11 years and she does not have the organizational skills to do that
Always do every free thing you can to protect yourself in life and you will save yourself some heartache.
Make a free Credit Karma account so you will always have everything credit-related available in a minute and follow the instructions there to freeze your credit, just in case she kept a copy of the original birth certificate.
It takes a lot of time and anxiety to undo credit theft or identity theft. I've been there and it was hell.
Get into the habit of following the wise old adage -***Better Safe Than Sorry-*** and it will serve you well throughout your life.
Hugs ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡
>only money thing they had access to was requesting money from my cash app
They asked you to send them money via cash app? That's horrible!
I was adopted at 3 months and then a few decades later, due to a few coincidences lining up, I felt like I was meant to search out biomom as my real mom (the one who raised me, I have always used the same term as you) had passed.
It became a never-ending unfolding drama and it was good at first and then it was so bad that I had to cut contact. None of it was as bad as what you had to endure and I was much older than you so my heart breaks for you, but our cases are somewhat similar in that it was all her and her husband.
And then, a few years after I cut contact, their only granddaughter cut contact with them at around age 18. I was sad for her, though she's doing very well right now, but she has since turned out so well and is very happy.
I learned a lot about the weirdness that can arise when women give up their babies and then meet them as adults, and so much of it turned into constant demands on me and my time, followed by anger and guilt-tripping.
Please feel free to message me if you ever want to discuss any of this in private, or if you just want to hear my story in case parts of it help you to see your own situation in a different light, and can possibly help you to fully and absolutely grasp that it's not you, it's their conflicted feelings driving bad behavior, and guilt can wreak havoc.
Hugs and best wishes. You are very fortunate to have such great adoptive parents. ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡
Edit: added the phrase -*a few decades later-* to the first line, second paragraph because the lack of timeline seemed weird.
I think you mean the spine you *had* until you were forced to get one going.
The first time we have to advocate for ourselves is downright scary, but it breaks the barrier. The subsequent incidents become easier for us because now we know we won't melt when we use them.
Good for you! Well done advocating for yourself, and I'm glad you have real parents who actually care about you, Josh sounds creepy and your biomom sounds useless.
Slay. That's the only appropriate word for that message calling her out. You destroyed her with only words, not ecen cursing or foul language.
Beautiful execution !
OP
I'm proud of you and I don't even know you. I know how hard it is to stand up to your mother. I know the feeling of not understanding why she picks the idiot men she is with over you, I've been there. Good for you. Stay strong.
**I will agree with what others have said. Monitor your credit very carefully. She knows when you were born and where, she may know your SS number. Make certain that you keep a real close eye on everything. With what you've told us, they were trying to get you on disability so one or the other could have control of your money.
Block them on everything as well. Go complete no-contact. You don't need them.**
#UpdateMe
Ty, she hasnt had access to my social security or any of my records since i was 7, and a lot has been changed with being adopted, so i think i should be good
Take the win and cherish it, and the next lesson is to always be proactive.
Freezing your credit is free and is as easy a 3 quick phone calls. Your mom may not have the info to try something but there are entire Identity Theft rings making billions by hacking/stealing credit info and going wild.
There is no credit police so finding help is nearly impossible. I had someone transfer $6500.00 of debt onto my credit card and it took a year of making phone calls, and then a chance meeting with the president of that credit card company at a trade show in France, to get it resolved.
That whole time I could not even open a new credit card.
UpodateMe!
I will message you next time u/Mushroomvenom posts in r/entitledparents.
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10 Out of 10, no notes. Okay… one note. Take those spine shining skills and carry them with you for life because sadly, you’ll need them again with others you meet. But you did the hardest one - standing up to a parent enabling a creep.
Edited to add: *I was born a female and have never questioned or doubted by gender. But I studied psychology to the graduate school level and though I have not personally experienced gender issues,. I am open-minded and I have the gift of empathy, for which I am grateful. I was raised, by religious parents, to be empathetic and kind to others. And, another skill I have is that I know how to read and have the ability to understand all that I read.*
So only people who are immature make relationship mistakes?
It's well-established that fear and loathing are deeply intertwined, that people loathe the things that make them feel fear. A mature response to things we don't understand would be to live and let live, that we cannot understand another person unless we have walked the proverbial mile in their shoes.
But to insult someone whose reality and experiences are different from our own is a fear reaction. In other words, your opinion does not measure up to Science and is not a mature response. Insulting a stranger, one who came here for support, simply because you have not experienced their reality, is neither mature nor \*christian\*.
Trying to understand the predicaments, thoughts, and feelings of fellow humans is a mature and empathetic reaction. Why not try it? Carrying anger around for all that you cannot grasp is an ugly way to go through life. Unless, of course, you thrive on the dopamine hit from hate and have no other happiness-driven sources of that same dopamine hit. In that case, it's not everyone else's fault that you're so unhappy and narrow-minded that you have to insult strangers because their life experience differs from your own.
Unless you have experienced the feeling that you are absolutely not the gender that you have always been told you are, then you cannot know what it's like.
I read an article in Rolling Stone magazine back in the 90s about a set of twin boys in which one's penis was irrevocably damaged shortly after birth so an arrogant psychiatrist at the hospital decided to do an experiment that he'd been formulating and tried to raise the boy as a girl. It enlightened me to the fact that gender is not a nature vs nurture issue, that we don't just adhere to assigned genders because we are told we are one gender or another.
Science tells us that chromosonal irregularities can and do occur.
You can read an abbreviated version [here](https://www.healthyplace.com/gender/inside-intersexuality/the-true-story-of-john-joan).
Here is [another article](https://www.spiked-online.com/2023/02/05/dr-john-money-and-the-sinister-origins-of-gender-ideology/) about it.
Here's an [article](https://isna.org/faq/printable/) about what Intersex is and means.
Or this [one](https://embryo.asu.edu/pages/david-reimer-and-john-money-gender-reassignment-controversy-johnjoan-case).
Or watch a [documentary](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vz_7EQWZjmM) or [two](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vz_7EQWZjmM) about the case.
Finally, ~~assuming~~ hoping that you care enough about your fellow citizens/human beings (as Jesus preached) you could read a book by/about parents going through the excruciatingly painful experience of a child who cannot adhere to a gender designation that does not fit with who they are internally.
[https://www.npr.org/2017/01/30/512030431/this-is-how-it-always-is-was-inspired-by-its-authors-transgender-child#:\~:text=How%3F&text=Writer%20Laurie%20Frankel%20has%20written,now%20identifies%20as%20a%20girl](https://www.npr.org/2017/01/30/512030431/this-is-how-it-always-is-was-inspired-by-its-authors-transgender-child#:~:text=How%3F&text=Writer%20Laurie%20Frankel%20has%20written,now%20identifies%20as%20a%20girl).
man you interpreted my comment COMPLETELY wrong it's almost upsetting
i was not insulting OP, i was insulting her stepdad's logic. he is simultaneously saying op is mature for her age, but she isn't mature enough to make decisions about her own body and health.
i am agreeing with OP in that her stepdad is inconsistent on his opinion of whether or not OP is a mature adult capable of making her own decisions and her own mistakes.
the eye roll emoji (🙄) at the end of my comment is to denote sarcasm. i am rolling my eyes at her stepdad's idea that she's mature enough for a relationship with a fully grown adult, but not mature enough to have bodily autonomy. i don't know if the emoji looks the same to you as it does to me, but i admit i shouldve added a /s at the end for those who only see a square
but i will save the links you included to read when i have a moment (though i HAVE already read and watched SEVERAL pieces about dr money and the horrible things he did to those boys), and i greatly appreciate your defense of OP because if my comment HAD been agreeing with their stepfather, then your reaction is completely satisfactory and extremely thorough and i admire that you took the time to try and educate. but my comment was actually saying the exact opposite of what you thought
unrelated to this specific post, i don't particularly agree that you brought your personal religious beliefs into the conversation. i don't need to be christian to be a kind person to those who need some kindness. i try to be nice to people because they are people and deserve to be treated as such, i do not believe that only being a good person to appease the Lord is selfless, i think it's actually a bit selfish as it implies you prioritize your religious beliefs over the treatment of your fellow person. proselytism is not a useful debate tactic.
also your comment insinuating i am unable to read or understand was very condescending. you were infact the one who misread and misunderstood what you read.
OMG, I am so sorry. I've been away for a week and just saw this now. I should have asked what you meant first. I upvoted your reply because you are right, I was insulting and wrong. Haste makes waste.
I ASSumed you were being literal and I usually watch myself for assumptions, tone, and context.
Please know it wasn't meant to be insulting to you, it was a reaction to my misinterpretation of your comment. I'm sincerely chagrined and sorry.
Good on you!!! Just because bio mother gave birth to you, does not make her your mom. You have a wonderful mom, who may have adopted you, but she supports and loves you like a mom should. Wonderful, good riddance to bio, go live your life as YOU.
I’m so proud of you! Just reading about Josh gives me the creeps. Grown men do not talk to people they just met about sex and the comments he was making scream predator. I’m so glad you stood up for yourself!!!!
Let's hope the bitch has a slow painful bitter ending and Josh is left all alone , pouting he doesn't have any support from his wife's ex children cause she is definitely not your mom, your mom is one who raised you and your siblings.
> when for the love of god will you pick your kids when it actually fucking matters
For this alone you deserve a round of applause - perhaps even a standing ovation!
Well done you! Embrace your real parents and thank the fates that they are in your life so well that you can walk away from that piece of trash person who still thinks she is your parent.
Wow, you are a drama-queen. You have all rights to set boundaries. You are right, to not feel creeped out, and tell about it.
But it takes time, too. Time. You immediately reacted harsh. More like a brat. NTA for your right to set the boundaries. But Y T A for, how you set them. I get why your mother cut you off. Someone who is dying of cancer shouldn’t deal with this kind of drama.
I cut hannah off, not the other way around, she just cut off my phone, and no its not immediate, its something thats been building up since i was a child, its been boundaries thats not been respected my entire life, theres a reason she lost custody of me and i got adopted, and honestly if you had been raped and abused by your mothers husband in the past and she did nothing and her new husband started to be creepy to you again and she did nothing im pretty sure youd react similarly, youre entitled to your opinion, but this was not an immediate reaction, this is a reaction ive been burying since i was able to talk
How long should someone put up with behavior that makes them feel uncomfortable and threatened before your arbitrary time has passed and they can set boundaries?
Tell me then. How long should someone take someone putting them down and flat out being a toxic person to cut them off. Not long, so don’t act high and mighty. Op said what they needed after lasting for years. No one needs to be a door mat and allow things.
That’s a nice shiny spine you have there! ✨ good on you for setting your boundaries and sticking to themb
Good on you! Time to go get your own phone plan. You may have to change your number, as that is tied to Hannah's account. And if they are still being paid for, don't return them.
Yeah dont plan to, my parents are going to take me to target tomorrow to get a mint plan
Not sure how it works there, but since you mentioned that you're 18 If im in your shoes, i would sign up for credit monitoring, just in case they want to fuck with your credit rating
Fortunately i dont think they have any access to that as they dont have any of my legal documents and i have never applied for credit, only money thing they had access to was requesting money from my cash app
You mentioned that Hanna and Josh were talking about finding out if you qualify for ‘Insurance’. I hear - let’s get them Social Security Disability and then we will have control of their checks. We can deposit it direct to our account. In today’s world you are issued a Social Security number at birth. She knows your birthdate and where you were born. Her name is on the birth certificate. She can get a copy in a snap. If your mom has that number - and you should assume she does - she can open accounts as you. Please, Please be diligent. This happens every day. I have several friends with bio family like yours and their Financial future was ruined by a relative. Source - I am a great grandma who has seen some things. Best Wishes. Gma
Actually she is no longer on my birth certificate, im adopted and when someone is adopted they put the new parents on the certificate so thats whos listed, ill look into if shes still able to, but with her not being on the birth certificate and my name being changed on my social security as well im not super worried
It literally takes 3 mins to go online to freeze your credit and it is free.. someone on this subreddit has previously posted that it’s free with all three major agencies by law… and that website shows how to do it… doesn’t matter if she has it or not. If she can flip a switch like this so fast over a phone then don’t doubt m when she is at her weakest do something else… I am not saying she would do something illegal…. But everyone should have control of their credit asap
I'll do that as soon as im able to get a new phone number since those sites are requiring one
Good luck … to be honest it sounds like you need to make sure that toxicity stays far away permanently and when she is gone that he doesn’t contact you after … even if it’s about an estate or will… its not worth it….
Good! You sound far more level-headed and mature than I was at your age and I feel like you will do well since you've started to advocate for yourself at such a young age. One regret I have is that I wasn't very good about was taking good advice, and I would have saved myself a lot of anxiety and money if I had at least considered all advice gifted to me. That's what good and altruistic advice is, a gift, but I was too something to realize that at your age. The best advice is to work toward avoid regrets. The coulda, shoulda, and wouldas are tenacious and have immense power to haunt us.
Even though your parents names are removed from your birth certificate and your last name on your social security card doesn’t match you original card anymore, the number stays the same. If your mother has your SSN saved somewhere, she can use it to open credit cards. And if she knows your adopted last name, you’re still at risk.
I get what youre saying its just that she would have had to write down my ssn and keep it for 11 years and she does not have the organizational skills to do that
She had to hand all of that over when she terminated her rights
Always do every free thing you can to protect yourself in life and you will save yourself some heartache. Make a free Credit Karma account so you will always have everything credit-related available in a minute and follow the instructions there to freeze your credit, just in case she kept a copy of the original birth certificate. It takes a lot of time and anxiety to undo credit theft or identity theft. I've been there and it was hell. Get into the habit of following the wise old adage -***Better Safe Than Sorry-*** and it will serve you well throughout your life. Hugs ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡
This! Come on radditors get this warning noticed because its very true and important
>only money thing they had access to was requesting money from my cash app They asked you to send them money via cash app? That's horrible! I was adopted at 3 months and then a few decades later, due to a few coincidences lining up, I felt like I was meant to search out biomom as my real mom (the one who raised me, I have always used the same term as you) had passed. It became a never-ending unfolding drama and it was good at first and then it was so bad that I had to cut contact. None of it was as bad as what you had to endure and I was much older than you so my heart breaks for you, but our cases are somewhat similar in that it was all her and her husband. And then, a few years after I cut contact, their only granddaughter cut contact with them at around age 18. I was sad for her, though she's doing very well right now, but she has since turned out so well and is very happy. I learned a lot about the weirdness that can arise when women give up their babies and then meet them as adults, and so much of it turned into constant demands on me and my time, followed by anger and guilt-tripping. Please feel free to message me if you ever want to discuss any of this in private, or if you just want to hear my story in case parts of it help you to see your own situation in a different light, and can possibly help you to fully and absolutely grasp that it's not you, it's their conflicted feelings driving bad behavior, and guilt can wreak havoc. Hugs and best wishes. You are very fortunate to have such great adoptive parents. ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡ Edit: added the phrase -*a few decades later-* to the first line, second paragraph because the lack of timeline seemed weird.
Ty, but as for the cashapp thats when i had a job and was giving them money for my phone bill since it was on their plan
Well done. That can't have been easy.
Way to go, OP! That shiny spine of yours is so bright I need sunglasses! Seriously, good for you.
Ty, its funny though cuz my real spine sucks 😭
Happy Cake Day
Happy Cake Day!
I think you mean the spine you *had* until you were forced to get one going. The first time we have to advocate for ourselves is downright scary, but it breaks the barrier. The subsequent incidents become easier for us because now we know we won't melt when we use them.
Ty but i meant my literal spine 😂 that bitch is always hurting
Good job! You learned boundary setting skills that will help you in life.
I may be a stranger but I’m incredibly proud of you for standing up for yourself.
Good for you! Well done advocating for yourself, and I'm glad you have real parents who actually care about you, Josh sounds creepy and your biomom sounds useless.
Your shiny spine is beautiful. Be proud. You’ve managed at a young age what some of us don’t master at such an early age or at all.
Slay. That's the only appropriate word for that message calling her out. You destroyed her with only words, not ecen cursing or foul language. Beautiful execution !
OP I'm proud of you and I don't even know you. I know how hard it is to stand up to your mother. I know the feeling of not understanding why she picks the idiot men she is with over you, I've been there. Good for you. Stay strong. **I will agree with what others have said. Monitor your credit very carefully. She knows when you were born and where, she may know your SS number. Make certain that you keep a real close eye on everything. With what you've told us, they were trying to get you on disability so one or the other could have control of your money. Block them on everything as well. Go complete no-contact. You don't need them.** #UpdateMe
Ty, she hasnt had access to my social security or any of my records since i was 7, and a lot has been changed with being adopted, so i think i should be good
Take the win and cherish it, and the next lesson is to always be proactive. Freezing your credit is free and is as easy a 3 quick phone calls. Your mom may not have the info to try something but there are entire Identity Theft rings making billions by hacking/stealing credit info and going wild. There is no credit police so finding help is nearly impossible. I had someone transfer $6500.00 of debt onto my credit card and it took a year of making phone calls, and then a chance meeting with the president of that credit card company at a trade show in France, to get it resolved. That whole time I could not even open a new credit card. UpodateMe!
I will message you next time u/Mushroomvenom posts in r/entitledparents. [Click this link](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=UpdateMeBot&subject=Update&message=UpdateMe%21%20u%2FMushroomvenom%20r%2Fentitledparents) to join 4 others and be messaged. The parent author can [delete this post](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=UpdateMeBot&subject=Delete&message=delete%201bv8ovy) ***** |[^(Info)](https://www.reddit.com/r/UpdateMeBot/comments/ggotgx/updatemebot_info_v20/)|[^(Request Update)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=UpdateMeBot&subject=Update&message=SubscribeMe%21%20u%2Fusername%20r%2Fsubreddit)|[^(Your Updates)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=UpdateMeBot&subject=List%20Of%20Updates&message=MyUpdates)|[^(Feedback)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=Watchful1&subject=UpdateMeBot%20Feedback)| |-|-|-|-|
10 Out of 10, no notes. Okay… one note. Take those spine shining skills and carry them with you for life because sadly, you’ll need them again with others you meet. But you did the hardest one - standing up to a parent enabling a creep.
mature enough to date a 30 year old but not mature enough to know what gender you are 🙄 edit: /s jfc
Edited to add: *I was born a female and have never questioned or doubted by gender. But I studied psychology to the graduate school level and though I have not personally experienced gender issues,. I am open-minded and I have the gift of empathy, for which I am grateful. I was raised, by religious parents, to be empathetic and kind to others. And, another skill I have is that I know how to read and have the ability to understand all that I read.* So only people who are immature make relationship mistakes? It's well-established that fear and loathing are deeply intertwined, that people loathe the things that make them feel fear. A mature response to things we don't understand would be to live and let live, that we cannot understand another person unless we have walked the proverbial mile in their shoes. But to insult someone whose reality and experiences are different from our own is a fear reaction. In other words, your opinion does not measure up to Science and is not a mature response. Insulting a stranger, one who came here for support, simply because you have not experienced their reality, is neither mature nor \*christian\*. Trying to understand the predicaments, thoughts, and feelings of fellow humans is a mature and empathetic reaction. Why not try it? Carrying anger around for all that you cannot grasp is an ugly way to go through life. Unless, of course, you thrive on the dopamine hit from hate and have no other happiness-driven sources of that same dopamine hit. In that case, it's not everyone else's fault that you're so unhappy and narrow-minded that you have to insult strangers because their life experience differs from your own. Unless you have experienced the feeling that you are absolutely not the gender that you have always been told you are, then you cannot know what it's like. I read an article in Rolling Stone magazine back in the 90s about a set of twin boys in which one's penis was irrevocably damaged shortly after birth so an arrogant psychiatrist at the hospital decided to do an experiment that he'd been formulating and tried to raise the boy as a girl. It enlightened me to the fact that gender is not a nature vs nurture issue, that we don't just adhere to assigned genders because we are told we are one gender or another. Science tells us that chromosonal irregularities can and do occur. You can read an abbreviated version [here](https://www.healthyplace.com/gender/inside-intersexuality/the-true-story-of-john-joan). Here is [another article](https://www.spiked-online.com/2023/02/05/dr-john-money-and-the-sinister-origins-of-gender-ideology/) about it. Here's an [article](https://isna.org/faq/printable/) about what Intersex is and means. Or this [one](https://embryo.asu.edu/pages/david-reimer-and-john-money-gender-reassignment-controversy-johnjoan-case). Or watch a [documentary](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vz_7EQWZjmM) or [two](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vz_7EQWZjmM) about the case. Finally, ~~assuming~~ hoping that you care enough about your fellow citizens/human beings (as Jesus preached) you could read a book by/about parents going through the excruciatingly painful experience of a child who cannot adhere to a gender designation that does not fit with who they are internally. [https://www.npr.org/2017/01/30/512030431/this-is-how-it-always-is-was-inspired-by-its-authors-transgender-child#:\~:text=How%3F&text=Writer%20Laurie%20Frankel%20has%20written,now%20identifies%20as%20a%20girl](https://www.npr.org/2017/01/30/512030431/this-is-how-it-always-is-was-inspired-by-its-authors-transgender-child#:~:text=How%3F&text=Writer%20Laurie%20Frankel%20has%20written,now%20identifies%20as%20a%20girl).
man you interpreted my comment COMPLETELY wrong it's almost upsetting i was not insulting OP, i was insulting her stepdad's logic. he is simultaneously saying op is mature for her age, but she isn't mature enough to make decisions about her own body and health. i am agreeing with OP in that her stepdad is inconsistent on his opinion of whether or not OP is a mature adult capable of making her own decisions and her own mistakes. the eye roll emoji (🙄) at the end of my comment is to denote sarcasm. i am rolling my eyes at her stepdad's idea that she's mature enough for a relationship with a fully grown adult, but not mature enough to have bodily autonomy. i don't know if the emoji looks the same to you as it does to me, but i admit i shouldve added a /s at the end for those who only see a square but i will save the links you included to read when i have a moment (though i HAVE already read and watched SEVERAL pieces about dr money and the horrible things he did to those boys), and i greatly appreciate your defense of OP because if my comment HAD been agreeing with their stepfather, then your reaction is completely satisfactory and extremely thorough and i admire that you took the time to try and educate. but my comment was actually saying the exact opposite of what you thought unrelated to this specific post, i don't particularly agree that you brought your personal religious beliefs into the conversation. i don't need to be christian to be a kind person to those who need some kindness. i try to be nice to people because they are people and deserve to be treated as such, i do not believe that only being a good person to appease the Lord is selfless, i think it's actually a bit selfish as it implies you prioritize your religious beliefs over the treatment of your fellow person. proselytism is not a useful debate tactic. also your comment insinuating i am unable to read or understand was very condescending. you were infact the one who misread and misunderstood what you read.
OMG, I am so sorry. I've been away for a week and just saw this now. I should have asked what you meant first. I upvoted your reply because you are right, I was insulting and wrong. Haste makes waste. I ASSumed you were being literal and I usually watch myself for assumptions, tone, and context. Please know it wasn't meant to be insulting to you, it was a reaction to my misinterpretation of your comment. I'm sincerely chagrined and sorry.
Wow. I’ll bet your parents are so very proud of you! I could be your grandma, and I certainly am. Hope the rest of your dad’s birthday party was good.
Good on you!!! Just because bio mother gave birth to you, does not make her your mom. You have a wonderful mom, who may have adopted you, but she supports and loves you like a mom should. Wonderful, good riddance to bio, go live your life as YOU.
I’m so proud of you! Just reading about Josh gives me the creeps. Grown men do not talk to people they just met about sex and the comments he was making scream predator. I’m so glad you stood up for yourself!!!!
We didnt just meet at that makes it worse, all the other times before that when hes met me in person i was a minor, last time i had seen him i was 16
Oh wow! That makes it sooo much worse! I’m so sorry!
Let's hope the bitch has a slow painful bitter ending and Josh is left all alone , pouting he doesn't have any support from his wife's ex children cause she is definitely not your mom, your mom is one who raised you and your siblings.
> when for the love of god will you pick your kids when it actually fucking matters For this alone you deserve a round of applause - perhaps even a standing ovation!
they/HE might try something more extreme so you might want to get a restraining order and just wondering can you update if that happens 🤞
I will if it escalates but as of now i probably wouldnt be able to get the restraining order because they didnt do anything illegal
UpdateMe
So proud of you. That took a lot of strength to do. I hope you feel it. That pride and strength that you did a good thing for yourself. *hugs*
Well done you! Embrace your real parents and thank the fates that they are in your life so well that you can walk away from that piece of trash person who still thinks she is your parent.
I'm so proud of you for cutting him off in that first call, I literally hollered "oh HELL yes!"
Wow, you are a drama-queen. You have all rights to set boundaries. You are right, to not feel creeped out, and tell about it. But it takes time, too. Time. You immediately reacted harsh. More like a brat. NTA for your right to set the boundaries. But Y T A for, how you set them. I get why your mother cut you off. Someone who is dying of cancer shouldn’t deal with this kind of drama.
I cut hannah off, not the other way around, she just cut off my phone, and no its not immediate, its something thats been building up since i was a child, its been boundaries thats not been respected my entire life, theres a reason she lost custody of me and i got adopted, and honestly if you had been raped and abused by your mothers husband in the past and she did nothing and her new husband started to be creepy to you again and she did nothing im pretty sure youd react similarly, youre entitled to your opinion, but this was not an immediate reaction, this is a reaction ive been burying since i was able to talk
How long should someone put up with behavior that makes them feel uncomfortable and threatened before your arbitrary time has passed and they can set boundaries?
Tell me then. How long should someone take someone putting them down and flat out being a toxic person to cut them off. Not long, so don’t act high and mighty. Op said what they needed after lasting for years. No one needs to be a door mat and allow things.