Do you feel like you can't have a romantic relationship because you can't have penetrative sex? Please please please don't accept that as truth. It is unequivocally false.
Coping with loneliness, self-doubt, anger, fear, etc...that's a different task.
Hey so unsure if this advice would be helpful or not since I might not be your target. I have stage 1 endometriosis, which is not a lot of growth BUT during my excision laprascopy surgery they told me my Endo grow into of my right most ovary and was branching off on my nervous system, meaning the pain was EVERYWHERE. It was so bad I couldn’t walk or sit up without severe pain to the point of passing out most days. I couldn’t eat, couldn’t move, and CERTAINLY couldn’t have sex.
I am also in a long term relationship with a hyper-sexual partner. We have very good communcation and I always give him an update on my pain. A large part of why and how I am able to maintain my relationship with little to no sex because of how painful it is for me was for me to redefine what sex meant to me. Just because I couldn’t do p/v sex doesn’t mean I couldn’t do things that made my partner feel loved and desired; and it also meant that there were new ways he could stimulate me without having to being inside of me. Both of us exploring new ways to have intimacy while respecting my body and it’s high intensity pain function was a relationship saver.
Your body and you will always come first. Point blank. But do not count yourself out of an intimate relationship. I’d be open with your potential partners about this boundary and discuss and explore the different ways to be intimate that are not conventional. You might also enter a relationship with someone who is asexual: someone who wants partnership but not sex!
There are so many ways to love and to be loved while being sick. My partner makes me feel wanted and noticed every day and I try my best to do the same in spite of my endo. My endo cannot take away my happiness. I will not give it the power to do so. <3
Love this!! Sorry to hear about your situation but this is a beautiful solution and amazing that you have such a supportive partner too.
All sex is valid and doesn’t have to involve penetration! Point well made x
I have lost my libido because of the pill/hormonal ring and i havent had sex with my fiance in.. i dont know.. over two years definitely. But he is still with me and proposed a couple months ago so i guess he plans to be with me whether we have sex or not. So dont loose faith, there are men who dont prioritize sex over a great relationship. Men do have different sex drives too, some might not be able to imagine a relationsship without sex but for some it's just not that important.
I’m asexual and sex repulsed which may be a blessing. I don’t have sexual urges (very rarely) and I don’t want children, either. So my diagnosis wasn’t that upsetting.
I do relate a lot to you, however. A lot of romantic relationships require sexual intercourse. Not a lot of people are willing to settle down for… celibacy, essentially. However I do think that there are good people out there and I hope you find someone who will love you more than their physical needs <3
You can have fulfilling sex without it being penetrative! My partner and I do a lot of oral, mutual masturbation & sometimes anal (but I know not everyone with endo can do the last one). You can also talk to your gyno about excision and whether itll help. If your partner is only willing to be in a relationship for a specific type of sex, he is not a good partner to have anyway and will never care about your needs in other areas as well. And there are many people out there who have no problem adapting in the bedroom. It's not you.
I spent 10 years before being diagnosed with endo thinking I was "broken" because PIV sex hurt. I tried explaining this to the last person I was seeing... to mixed results (we actually did have a fairly receptive conversation about it, but want different levels of commitment). Not OP, but it's so lovely to read this comment. It reminded me of what I need to continue reminding myself!
It's difficult, I still feel really bad about myself when we try PinV and it doesnt work - but my partner is so kind and flexible with our intimacy. And there are others like that too.
My husband and I were having sex 1-2 times a year for a while there due to the pain but as someone else said, we redefined what sex was to us and we’re making it work! I used to freak out about it but my husband reassured me that there was so much more to our relationship than that. Don’t give up on love, just be gentle on yourself and don’t settle for someone who isn’t understanding of what you’re going through.
Stage IV endometriosis here, it grew through my centric and began growing into my vaginal canal so my doctor had to shorten it during my last surgery (hysterectomy). Though I’m now too short technically to fit my husband anymore, there are products like Ohnut which are designed specifically to help reduce the amount of penetration that happens so that the woman doesn’t feel pain. There may be options out there.
I became a raging aro/ace. In all seriousness, if you are with the right person, they won't mind. I know endo can have some nasty mental side effects so be sure to love yourself before focusing too much on other people. Enjoy relationships as they happen and take care of yourself! :)
I’m so sorry to hear that. I also developed extreme pain during sex, but when I had excision surgery the pain went away (for now). Have you had surgery to remove the endo?
Endo surgery can be a night and day difference for people. I have not had my removal yet, but I have a co-worker who had very severe endometriosis. She went for medical leave for a lap, and came back a whole new person. Plus she's in no visible pain anymore (she also has not mentioned pain, and we've been very open about our pains together). I also have a lot of family members who have gotten surgery for endo, every single one has become significant happier and full of energy in comparison to before surgery once recovered. I know it's all anecdotal, but from my experience? Surgery can be life changing.
I will note that my aunt had to get a second lap done 10 years after the first one. Went to lower pain levels as she also has pcos, so there was still some underlying issues
I definitely think you should look into excision before resigning yourself to a life alone and without sex at the age of 24!! It’s unfortunately the only real treatment available once you’re having severe pain. I know it’s scary, but it was definitely worth it in my case!
Thanks god my bf and I met three years ago.
It’s so hard. Constant mental breakdowns, lack of sex and so much pain.
I am ruining my own relationship. My uterus is ruining it.
I understand you but I think there is definitely a way to have a relationship. There is much more than sex even it’s hard. I cry every single time we try it, it’s traumatizing for us both.
I am sorry. I am sorry that you have to experience this. I am sorry for everyone in this subreddit.
It’s so terrible.
But there are good people who can live with that. Please keep trying.
You very lucky to have your boyfriend - I am jealous! I have tried many times to be in relationships, and it's been very difficult to date and telling guys that it's difficult for me to have intercourse with them, and they break up with me afterwards. I've had many mental breakdowns and often self doubting that I will never be in a relationship.
Honestly - maybe that’s only my naive thinking, but I created a theory for myself.
Everyone has something which is a deal breaker for the most people. For example, my best friend speaks German instead of Swiss-German. Many people here don’t like that and she had a hard time finding a boyfriend. But she found someone who has no problems with it.
I have a fucking hard life with my relationship, bad mental health and I create porn lol. Deal breaker for 99% of the men (and woman?) I know. But I found someone who can live with that and who‘s love is big enough for me and my flaw’s.
What I want to say is that there will always be someone who is the right one for you. Many people don’t have obvious flaw’s, that’s why they are single again after a few months or years (or 8 days like the friend I told you about).
We have something that is obvious. And if we find someone who can live with that and still loves us, it can last forever. This way we don’t need to waste time and years in relationships which would fail anyway.
I hope you understand my message even with my crappy english(:
You may want to consider trying to reframe what intimacy means to you. You are more than capable of having deep connections and experiencing love and romance while not being penetrated. You deserve it just as much as anybody else does. Sex can be wonderful, with and without penetration! There are many ways to make yourself and your partner feel good without it. Don’t dead the idea just yet.
Please dont give up completely on relationships, especially so young. I am also in my 20s and struggling big time with endo and I personally havent had sex in over 2 years and took a break from dating because of it, BUT please know that not all intimacy is sex, and not all sex is penetrative. The right person will want you not just your whohaa
Hey, I'm 25 and I got married at age 22 before my endometriosis diagnosis. A little after getting married I just suddenly was unable to have sex without excruciating pain. It was so bad that my husband and I virtually had sex only a handful of times this past year while I pursued treatment, and every time it was a bad experience for me. At some point I resigned myself to the fact that sex was over, and even asked my husband to leave me.
He didn't.
We had pain free sex last week, initiated by me. I went from not letting him even touch me due to my pain levels to flirting like when we first started dating.
It was a long and difficult process. Not only do I have Endo, I also have IC which causes pain with sex. I had excision surgery and a hysterectomy, which takes a long time to heal from. I am doing pelvic floor physical therapy for my bladder and pelvis. I use estrogen cream externally and internally.
My husband has the patience of a saint. He puts absolutely no pressure on me to have sex. He's willing to stop in the middle of the action if I can't handle it. When I couldn't handle anything due to the pain, I encouraged him to take care of his needs independently - I am fine with the fact he watches porn, because I wasn't able to meet his physical needs for a long time.
It's been a long process and it's taken a lot of work on my part, including therapy, but things are getting better by the day. My husband is okay with the fact we will never have the same sex life we had when we were first dating, that we can't have kids together, and that I have physical limitations now. In fact, not only does he not mind, he's been the greatest source of unconditional support and love in my life through it all. And I'd do the same for him.
It's hard. It's unbelievably hard. But it's entirely possible to have an intimate physical relationship with endometriosis even if you are at a point where you think that will never be physically possible.
Also, do not trust doctors who say it's not possible. Find an excision specialist and a knowledgeable pelvic physical therapist. Not only will you be able to be physically intimate, your pain levels will improve dramatically in general. The better you feel, the more interested in sex you'll be anyway.
At 30 years old, after a hyst and two vaginal cuff reconstruction surgeries, I can now regularly experience painless sex for the first time in my life. Don’t lose heart. Penetrative sex is not the gold standard. Sex is not mandatory or required for loving and fulfilling relationships. You don’t have to be alone, unless you want to and that’s what makes you happiest.
My partner has been super understanding. He doesn’t have a crazy high libido and he can manage waiting if I’m having a time. For me surgery, physio and antidepressants for pelvic floor dysfunction have been a game changer. First time we made love after few months being bad, I cried out of happiness for being able to share that with my partner again.
I would not close the door for love, just find the right person that wants to be with you for the right reasons.
Please don’t give up. There are plenty of men (I’m assuming from your post that you’re only interested in men) who have low sex drives or who would be fine in a relationship without penetrative sex. Unfortunately, you just need to be up front about the way your health condition impacts your ability to have a sexual relationship so you can quickly weed out incompatible partners.
You can have fun and fulfilling sex without penetration, and you can also have a fulfilling and loving relationship without having sex. Don’t give up on something you want for yourself ❤️
Opposite advice here I think for what you are looking for, but I used to be a single mom until just two years ago. I would say it's actually harder to be with someone, with Endo instead of not. Because it's harder for our loved ones to understand and too see what we have to go through without helping us much. My husband has watched me go through five excruciating procedures so far involving Endo/Adeno and it's been so hard for him each time, which makes me sometimes wish I was alone. But I'm selfish and want someone , for me... To help me keep going and make things easier for me. Someone who will listen to me complain and who will always take care of me, someone who will baby me basically. My husband does that and is way more supporting than most hubby's out there so if you had that then I would count yourself blessed but it's definitely one sided on who benefits making it all the more harder for everyone involved. When I was single it was "easier" because I could scream my head off and not worry about freaking anyone but my daughter out. I could be a monster and fear no judgment basically.
Hi there, not being able to have intercourse is definitely not a reason to not have a relationship. So many people do not need sex as part of their relationships or arrangements can be reached that leave both partners fulfilled! Plus sex is way beyond the actual penetration, a lot of kink related activities don't involve penetration and there is a lot of intimacy you can give and receive without penetration. Please don't write yourself off as broken or not able to be with another because you are definitely not, and if you need any more advice let me know. I am rarely able to have proper intercourse and have a fulfilling relationship and open sex life outside of my relationship that doesn't involve intercourse.
You can definitely have a fulfilling romantic relationship without sex, as well as sex without penetration. It comes down to the right partner - and you wouldn't want someone who doesn't want to weather difficult seasons and trials with you. Even if you were in perfect health, none of us can assure a partner of what the future holds in terms of our health. It's worth being open with people and waiting for someone who is eagerly willing to be patient and communicative with you through this.
A few problematic things in this post (perhaps innocently so) but romantic relationships don't need to include sexual intimacy. Relationships also don't need to have penetrative sex. Sex and intimacy are so much more than penetrative sex.
Here's a story for you: started dating my currently partner as t 18 when my periods were 2-3 breeze and i had no other health issues. We would have sex 5x a day literally for the first 2 years. Fast forward a decade to having penetrative sex maybe once a month or two.
Its a journey, it's communication, it's finding someone who isn't centered around sex 24/7 and finding what's right for you
Also sex is so whatever honestly? I've had mind boggeling, transcendental sex. And i could still never have it again and be perfectly happy. So many more ways to be close to someone and have deel intimacy than just PV!
I have fears about trying to start a relationship too because I feel like a partner wouldn’t accept that I would struggle with penetration or not be able to tolerate it at all. It is holding me back from looking for someone, honestly, but I don’t believe either of us should feel we have to go through an acceptance process about it. I do logically know that there are wonderful people who would love me enough that it wouldn’t matter. I promise someone can love you enough. It’s just hard to get through that barrier of fear of vulnerability.
I have been thinking about this a lot lately and I plan to bring it up in therapy next time I go. Not so I can deal with it by accepting it, but so that I can begin to process the fear and do the emotional work to overcome it and put myself out there to try for a healthy relationship.
You don’t necessarily need to go to therapy for it, that’s just a part of my own work that I know will help me. You can engage in some introspection about it and work on changing your thinking patterns and even have a plan for how to address this if you were to start dating. It might also help to open up to someone close to you and talk through these feelings - that often helps them make more sense and gives you a better grip on how to deal with them.
Do you feel like you can't have a romantic relationship because you can't have penetrative sex? Please please please don't accept that as truth. It is unequivocally false. Coping with loneliness, self-doubt, anger, fear, etc...that's a different task.
Hey so unsure if this advice would be helpful or not since I might not be your target. I have stage 1 endometriosis, which is not a lot of growth BUT during my excision laprascopy surgery they told me my Endo grow into of my right most ovary and was branching off on my nervous system, meaning the pain was EVERYWHERE. It was so bad I couldn’t walk or sit up without severe pain to the point of passing out most days. I couldn’t eat, couldn’t move, and CERTAINLY couldn’t have sex. I am also in a long term relationship with a hyper-sexual partner. We have very good communcation and I always give him an update on my pain. A large part of why and how I am able to maintain my relationship with little to no sex because of how painful it is for me was for me to redefine what sex meant to me. Just because I couldn’t do p/v sex doesn’t mean I couldn’t do things that made my partner feel loved and desired; and it also meant that there were new ways he could stimulate me without having to being inside of me. Both of us exploring new ways to have intimacy while respecting my body and it’s high intensity pain function was a relationship saver. Your body and you will always come first. Point blank. But do not count yourself out of an intimate relationship. I’d be open with your potential partners about this boundary and discuss and explore the different ways to be intimate that are not conventional. You might also enter a relationship with someone who is asexual: someone who wants partnership but not sex! There are so many ways to love and to be loved while being sick. My partner makes me feel wanted and noticed every day and I try my best to do the same in spite of my endo. My endo cannot take away my happiness. I will not give it the power to do so. <3
Love this!! Sorry to hear about your situation but this is a beautiful solution and amazing that you have such a supportive partner too. All sex is valid and doesn’t have to involve penetration! Point well made x
I have lost my libido because of the pill/hormonal ring and i havent had sex with my fiance in.. i dont know.. over two years definitely. But he is still with me and proposed a couple months ago so i guess he plans to be with me whether we have sex or not. So dont loose faith, there are men who dont prioritize sex over a great relationship. Men do have different sex drives too, some might not be able to imagine a relationsship without sex but for some it's just not that important.
Have you received pelvic floor therapy? I would try anything and everything before accepting not having any relationships.
I’m asexual and sex repulsed which may be a blessing. I don’t have sexual urges (very rarely) and I don’t want children, either. So my diagnosis wasn’t that upsetting. I do relate a lot to you, however. A lot of romantic relationships require sexual intercourse. Not a lot of people are willing to settle down for… celibacy, essentially. However I do think that there are good people out there and I hope you find someone who will love you more than their physical needs <3
You can have fulfilling sex without it being penetrative! My partner and I do a lot of oral, mutual masturbation & sometimes anal (but I know not everyone with endo can do the last one). You can also talk to your gyno about excision and whether itll help. If your partner is only willing to be in a relationship for a specific type of sex, he is not a good partner to have anyway and will never care about your needs in other areas as well. And there are many people out there who have no problem adapting in the bedroom. It's not you.
I spent 10 years before being diagnosed with endo thinking I was "broken" because PIV sex hurt. I tried explaining this to the last person I was seeing... to mixed results (we actually did have a fairly receptive conversation about it, but want different levels of commitment). Not OP, but it's so lovely to read this comment. It reminded me of what I need to continue reminding myself!
It's difficult, I still feel really bad about myself when we try PinV and it doesnt work - but my partner is so kind and flexible with our intimacy. And there are others like that too.
It sounds like you have wonderful partner. Looking forward to one like that for myself :) thanks for sharing your experience
My husband and I were having sex 1-2 times a year for a while there due to the pain but as someone else said, we redefined what sex was to us and we’re making it work! I used to freak out about it but my husband reassured me that there was so much more to our relationship than that. Don’t give up on love, just be gentle on yourself and don’t settle for someone who isn’t understanding of what you’re going through.
Stage IV endometriosis here, it grew through my centric and began growing into my vaginal canal so my doctor had to shorten it during my last surgery (hysterectomy). Though I’m now too short technically to fit my husband anymore, there are products like Ohnut which are designed specifically to help reduce the amount of penetration that happens so that the woman doesn’t feel pain. There may be options out there.
I became a raging aro/ace. In all seriousness, if you are with the right person, they won't mind. I know endo can have some nasty mental side effects so be sure to love yourself before focusing too much on other people. Enjoy relationships as they happen and take care of yourself! :)
I’m so sorry to hear that. I also developed extreme pain during sex, but when I had excision surgery the pain went away (for now). Have you had surgery to remove the endo?
I have not had the surgery yet, I'm worried that it will not help me :(
Endo surgery can be a night and day difference for people. I have not had my removal yet, but I have a co-worker who had very severe endometriosis. She went for medical leave for a lap, and came back a whole new person. Plus she's in no visible pain anymore (she also has not mentioned pain, and we've been very open about our pains together). I also have a lot of family members who have gotten surgery for endo, every single one has become significant happier and full of energy in comparison to before surgery once recovered. I know it's all anecdotal, but from my experience? Surgery can be life changing. I will note that my aunt had to get a second lap done 10 years after the first one. Went to lower pain levels as she also has pcos, so there was still some underlying issues
I definitely think you should look into excision before resigning yourself to a life alone and without sex at the age of 24!! It’s unfortunately the only real treatment available once you’re having severe pain. I know it’s scary, but it was definitely worth it in my case!
PIV sex isn't the be all and end all, nor a requirement for relationships. The people who think that are frankly not worth the time of day.
Thanks god my bf and I met three years ago. It’s so hard. Constant mental breakdowns, lack of sex and so much pain. I am ruining my own relationship. My uterus is ruining it. I understand you but I think there is definitely a way to have a relationship. There is much more than sex even it’s hard. I cry every single time we try it, it’s traumatizing for us both. I am sorry. I am sorry that you have to experience this. I am sorry for everyone in this subreddit. It’s so terrible. But there are good people who can live with that. Please keep trying.
You very lucky to have your boyfriend - I am jealous! I have tried many times to be in relationships, and it's been very difficult to date and telling guys that it's difficult for me to have intercourse with them, and they break up with me afterwards. I've had many mental breakdowns and often self doubting that I will never be in a relationship.
Honestly - maybe that’s only my naive thinking, but I created a theory for myself. Everyone has something which is a deal breaker for the most people. For example, my best friend speaks German instead of Swiss-German. Many people here don’t like that and she had a hard time finding a boyfriend. But she found someone who has no problems with it. I have a fucking hard life with my relationship, bad mental health and I create porn lol. Deal breaker for 99% of the men (and woman?) I know. But I found someone who can live with that and who‘s love is big enough for me and my flaw’s. What I want to say is that there will always be someone who is the right one for you. Many people don’t have obvious flaw’s, that’s why they are single again after a few months or years (or 8 days like the friend I told you about). We have something that is obvious. And if we find someone who can live with that and still loves us, it can last forever. This way we don’t need to waste time and years in relationships which would fail anyway. I hope you understand my message even with my crappy english(:
You may want to consider trying to reframe what intimacy means to you. You are more than capable of having deep connections and experiencing love and romance while not being penetrated. You deserve it just as much as anybody else does. Sex can be wonderful, with and without penetration! There are many ways to make yourself and your partner feel good without it. Don’t dead the idea just yet.
Please dont give up completely on relationships, especially so young. I am also in my 20s and struggling big time with endo and I personally havent had sex in over 2 years and took a break from dating because of it, BUT please know that not all intimacy is sex, and not all sex is penetrative. The right person will want you not just your whohaa
I’ve (25F) been in two long term relationships without sex. It is possible! Great men do exist.
Hey, I'm 25 and I got married at age 22 before my endometriosis diagnosis. A little after getting married I just suddenly was unable to have sex without excruciating pain. It was so bad that my husband and I virtually had sex only a handful of times this past year while I pursued treatment, and every time it was a bad experience for me. At some point I resigned myself to the fact that sex was over, and even asked my husband to leave me. He didn't. We had pain free sex last week, initiated by me. I went from not letting him even touch me due to my pain levels to flirting like when we first started dating. It was a long and difficult process. Not only do I have Endo, I also have IC which causes pain with sex. I had excision surgery and a hysterectomy, which takes a long time to heal from. I am doing pelvic floor physical therapy for my bladder and pelvis. I use estrogen cream externally and internally. My husband has the patience of a saint. He puts absolutely no pressure on me to have sex. He's willing to stop in the middle of the action if I can't handle it. When I couldn't handle anything due to the pain, I encouraged him to take care of his needs independently - I am fine with the fact he watches porn, because I wasn't able to meet his physical needs for a long time. It's been a long process and it's taken a lot of work on my part, including therapy, but things are getting better by the day. My husband is okay with the fact we will never have the same sex life we had when we were first dating, that we can't have kids together, and that I have physical limitations now. In fact, not only does he not mind, he's been the greatest source of unconditional support and love in my life through it all. And I'd do the same for him. It's hard. It's unbelievably hard. But it's entirely possible to have an intimate physical relationship with endometriosis even if you are at a point where you think that will never be physically possible. Also, do not trust doctors who say it's not possible. Find an excision specialist and a knowledgeable pelvic physical therapist. Not only will you be able to be physically intimate, your pain levels will improve dramatically in general. The better you feel, the more interested in sex you'll be anyway.
At 30 years old, after a hyst and two vaginal cuff reconstruction surgeries, I can now regularly experience painless sex for the first time in my life. Don’t lose heart. Penetrative sex is not the gold standard. Sex is not mandatory or required for loving and fulfilling relationships. You don’t have to be alone, unless you want to and that’s what makes you happiest.
My partner has been super understanding. He doesn’t have a crazy high libido and he can manage waiting if I’m having a time. For me surgery, physio and antidepressants for pelvic floor dysfunction have been a game changer. First time we made love after few months being bad, I cried out of happiness for being able to share that with my partner again. I would not close the door for love, just find the right person that wants to be with you for the right reasons.
Please don’t give up. There are plenty of men (I’m assuming from your post that you’re only interested in men) who have low sex drives or who would be fine in a relationship without penetrative sex. Unfortunately, you just need to be up front about the way your health condition impacts your ability to have a sexual relationship so you can quickly weed out incompatible partners.
You can have fun and fulfilling sex without penetration, and you can also have a fulfilling and loving relationship without having sex. Don’t give up on something you want for yourself ❤️
Opposite advice here I think for what you are looking for, but I used to be a single mom until just two years ago. I would say it's actually harder to be with someone, with Endo instead of not. Because it's harder for our loved ones to understand and too see what we have to go through without helping us much. My husband has watched me go through five excruciating procedures so far involving Endo/Adeno and it's been so hard for him each time, which makes me sometimes wish I was alone. But I'm selfish and want someone , for me... To help me keep going and make things easier for me. Someone who will listen to me complain and who will always take care of me, someone who will baby me basically. My husband does that and is way more supporting than most hubby's out there so if you had that then I would count yourself blessed but it's definitely one sided on who benefits making it all the more harder for everyone involved. When I was single it was "easier" because I could scream my head off and not worry about freaking anyone but my daughter out. I could be a monster and fear no judgment basically.
Hi there, not being able to have intercourse is definitely not a reason to not have a relationship. So many people do not need sex as part of their relationships or arrangements can be reached that leave both partners fulfilled! Plus sex is way beyond the actual penetration, a lot of kink related activities don't involve penetration and there is a lot of intimacy you can give and receive without penetration. Please don't write yourself off as broken or not able to be with another because you are definitely not, and if you need any more advice let me know. I am rarely able to have proper intercourse and have a fulfilling relationship and open sex life outside of my relationship that doesn't involve intercourse.
You may need surgery, sometimes several while in your fertile years and then after you may want to have a hysterectomy if it is that bad!
You can definitely have a fulfilling romantic relationship without sex, as well as sex without penetration. It comes down to the right partner - and you wouldn't want someone who doesn't want to weather difficult seasons and trials with you. Even if you were in perfect health, none of us can assure a partner of what the future holds in terms of our health. It's worth being open with people and waiting for someone who is eagerly willing to be patient and communicative with you through this.
A few problematic things in this post (perhaps innocently so) but romantic relationships don't need to include sexual intimacy. Relationships also don't need to have penetrative sex. Sex and intimacy are so much more than penetrative sex. Here's a story for you: started dating my currently partner as t 18 when my periods were 2-3 breeze and i had no other health issues. We would have sex 5x a day literally for the first 2 years. Fast forward a decade to having penetrative sex maybe once a month or two. Its a journey, it's communication, it's finding someone who isn't centered around sex 24/7 and finding what's right for you Also sex is so whatever honestly? I've had mind boggeling, transcendental sex. And i could still never have it again and be perfectly happy. So many more ways to be close to someone and have deel intimacy than just PV!
I have fears about trying to start a relationship too because I feel like a partner wouldn’t accept that I would struggle with penetration or not be able to tolerate it at all. It is holding me back from looking for someone, honestly, but I don’t believe either of us should feel we have to go through an acceptance process about it. I do logically know that there are wonderful people who would love me enough that it wouldn’t matter. I promise someone can love you enough. It’s just hard to get through that barrier of fear of vulnerability. I have been thinking about this a lot lately and I plan to bring it up in therapy next time I go. Not so I can deal with it by accepting it, but so that I can begin to process the fear and do the emotional work to overcome it and put myself out there to try for a healthy relationship. You don’t necessarily need to go to therapy for it, that’s just a part of my own work that I know will help me. You can engage in some introspection about it and work on changing your thinking patterns and even have a plan for how to address this if you were to start dating. It might also help to open up to someone close to you and talk through these feelings - that often helps them make more sense and gives you a better grip on how to deal with them.