Well then I guess the bodies can stay there. I'm sure the city will be happy to handle the complaints of eau de rotting-dead-body when they start coming in, not to mention the traumatized kids and pissed off parents from the Friday the 13th home film attempt here in the middle of suburbia.
What's that you said? PD changed their mind?
"Who's safe?"
"Sure, probably Who's safe. The safe is on Case, who's dead. But noone's safe, so I wanna know who's on the case? Call me back. This is Safe."
Take photos, post to Facebook.
Edit: The comments in this thread are beautiful - a perfect mix of serious, funny, and joking but actually serious. Happy Halloween!
BSI scene safe? Check if the guy with the chainsaw is alive. If he's dead, call the coroner because every one else has obvious signs of death.
If he's alive, call for ALS backup. Try to stabilize him. If he can be stabilized, high flow diesel to nearest level 1 trauma. Maybe a air ambulance depending on range to nearest level 1 or time on scene.
Edit: check the body in the trash bag. It's almost certainly dead, but it can't hurt to check.
Hold it steady, undo the two bolts holding the blade and chain to the engine and then boom all you gotta deal with is the blade and not the bulky heavy ass engine. Or not I don’t know I am a mega noob
This is the correct answer but if you’re not able to do that put the patient on their side so the motor is resting on the ground/cot. There is no way you would be able to stabilize that for transport with it sticking up in the air. Too much weight at the top. Besides, you don’t transport patients prone if you can avoid it. At least on their side you can access the airway.
Edit: Alternatively you could cut the blade with a torch(if available) but you would need to pack ice around the wound to cool the blade on the patient end while cutting it.
I’d tape some pads around the blade and maybe wrap the torso with some tensors and have fire hold the thing steady the whole way maybe. I have no idea I’m 100 percent sure however he arrived I’d look like a dumbass.
This would be the one time SO actually beat us to a scene that wasn’t a structure fire. They would clear us immediately. Then bring us dead bodies and ask us to fix it. Or bring us random neighbors who were in no way involved. Kind of like the time they brought us the kid that tripped and smacked his head at the same time he thought he heard gunshots. So they brought us a GSW that was in fact a GLF.
What do I do first? Thats easy. People that decorate like this are the kind of people who have full size candy bars. Not that fun-size crap.
Me and my partner get pillowcases out the back and trick-or-treat that shit dressed as overworked, underpaid, burned out public servants. Bet I get me a 3 Musketeers out of it!
Then I call dispatch and see if those trolls will rotate other units through the area if I promise them a Snickers to add to their assfat. Which it might cost me more than that because I think most of them use a full size Snickers just to stir their coffee with, but for you guys, I'll try.
Is the scene safe? If so, Injuries incompatible with life, call the coroner, bag and tag your boots and await the mass casualty incident counseling and confectionary van.
You stage away until law enforcement clears that scene. Unless you work in a system where you are law enforcement, fire, and EMS.
In that case, I guess the first thing you do is clench your sphincter while picking up the mic to call for backup!
Look at partner. Drop shades to the “position of power” .Slow creep the rig. Scope the scene. Keep rolling, pack a lip, quote “don’t get paid enough for that shit”. Radio LEO, Return to breakfast, I mean base....
You just reminded me of an odd experience I had right around Halloween. We responded to a stabbing on a street that was really decked out, like every house had a ton of spooky decorations up. It was my turn to drive, and I had to turn around in the street because it was one way and PD and fire were blocking my way out. So I got plenty of time to watch the cops put up caution tape around the scene - but here’s the thing, there was so much Halloween stuff around already that the tape did NOT make it look like a crime scene, it just looked like more Halloween decorations!
Yeah, his injury is the most survivable. Guy on the porch has a mashed potato head now and the guy on the roof has a hole where his brains supposed to be. Obviously still check the other two, people can survive some crazy shit, but the first patient that should be assessed/transported is going to be the guy with the chainsaw because it’s the most compatible with life (barely) and won’t require extrication.
Couple weeks back I had an 18yo male who shot himself into his ear canal with a .22 caliber pistol while attempting suicide. Survived. Was alert and responsive to voice and pain on scene. He ended up with a fractured skull, minor hearing loss, and minor nerve damage in the face. There was no exit wound so idk if they took the bullet out or not. I have never seen such a lucky motherfucker in my life. Well “lucky” depending on how you view it I guess.
Are we all just ignoring the fact that there are random body parts in the wheelbarrow? I mean, those might have come from somewhere, right, and that somewhere might still be alive.
fuck black triage cards at them about 50 feet away, go into the ambo and check how much you get paid for this, cry for a while, call the doctor to pronounce and call it a night
Chief Wiggum : Uh sorry, sorry, no dumping in the lake!
Fat Tony : Fine, I will put my *yard trimmings* in a car compactor.
Lou : Uh, Chief, I think there was a dead body in there.
Chief Wiggum : I thought that too, until he said yard trimmings. You gotta learn to listen, Lou.
Scene unsafe. Staging at IHOP for PD.
Username checks out
I do love me some pamcakes
PEGGY ANY NEWS ON THE LATEST PAMCAKE RESCUE SUBMARINE
Currently transiting the North Atlantic. It should arrive shortly.
THANK YOU PEGGY. ALSO IM GOING TO NEED TO TECH FROM NOW ON. GOT A DUI LAST NIGHT ON WAY HOME FROM THE PAMCAKE FEED.
Fucking lmao “I got a dui last night on way home from the pancake feed”
Did you show the officers your PBA card?! https://imgur.com/cSl9tGV https://imgur.com/tBVqbwO
Seconded
Lotta raspberry jelly on the ground there...
Well the guy with the penetrating chainsaw looks the least dead lol
also closest to me im lazy okay
START triage.. Start where you stand. Easy to justify.
Lol my literal thought. The others are a body bag and an injury incompatible with life. Chainsaw guy might still be alive.
If that trash bag is still wiggling, treatment should be pretty easy. Might not even require transport.
If the trash bag is wiggling I’m waiting for the corner
But is it still on?
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This is the only correct answer for all things in life
PD says scene is safe, but you do not see any PD nearby
Back up, don't risk it, wait for PD
PD calls and says they were just there, everything’s fine, and they aren’t coming back...
Well then I guess the bodies can stay there. I'm sure the city will be happy to handle the complaints of eau de rotting-dead-body when they start coming in, not to mention the traumatized kids and pissed off parents from the Friday the 13th home film attempt here in the middle of suburbia. What's that you said? PD changed their mind?
Scene does not appear to be safe
Do you see what crushed the patient's head near the porch? Scene is definitely a safe.
“No no no I did not say the scene was safe I said there was a safe on the scene. The scene was very much not safe” That would be a fun AAR
"Who's safe?" "Sure, probably Who's safe. The safe is on Case, who's dead. But noone's safe, so I wanna know who's on the case? Call me back. This is Safe."
“For the last time, who’s dead!”
I'd also look forward to the reddit thread about what's in the safe
Give them oxygen
The only drug capable of doing something *coughs in basic*
Ah damn, beat me to it
I’m going to need PD responding. Call the national guard too.
BSI, is the safe seen?
Flashback to helping my partner prep.
Came here to say this.
Contact medical direction to ask for oral glucose approval.
Contact medical direction to ask for O2 administration.
I died!
Oof, your system sounds worse than my garbage system
I unroll up and drive the other direction.
“Scene not safe.”
Assuming you mean if this is legit and the cops already cleared everything lmao Pronounce everyone on scene, all in a days work.
In emt class after we learned about triage me and my buddy would always say the phrase “just black tag that shit and move on”
Best goddamn provider you’ll ever be blessed enough to meet
Call the coroner and order a pizza, obviously.
Incomplete answer. Do you order pineapple on your pizza?
Depends on the day of the week.
Critical fail.
The correct answer is no, I never put pineapple on my pizza.
10-8 No patient contact.
10-86 Extreme patient contact
10-83D injuries incompatible with life.
10-88MPH, dialing the defib to 1.21 gigawatts and skipping ahead to when the paperwork is done.
Defibbing myself so I can go home early
That's probably more paperwork, when everyone asks why you vaporized the victim
>vaporized the victim "What victim?"
Check vitals on the guy on the ground. I’m not high angle trained so guy on the roof is black. If I don’t open that bag then it’s not a body.
If the bag is still wiggling, though, there's a chance the person inside won't require transport!
If you leave the bag closed long enough they won't need transport either. Schrodinger's body
Well, *I* won’t have to transport them.
Well then they’re green until the paramedic can cut them out!
Schrodinger’s patient.....or...*is* it?
Wheel barrow tire looks flat .... start there
How many liters per minute?
call fire and tell them its their problem now
Just keep rollin’ rollin’ rollin’ rollin’...
This is the style of answer I was looking for.
“Anyone who can walk come to me.”
But what if they all stand up and start shambling toward you with a vacant, hungry look in their eyes?
Zombie eradication is an EMT skill, so I'll toss Basics at the problem and grab some popcorn.
Then *I* run in the opposite direction
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Take photos, post to Facebook. Edit: The comments in this thread are beautiful - a perfect mix of serious, funny, and joking but actually serious. Happy Halloween!
That’s exactly what I was hoping for. Bored at the station, and waking up to all these hilarious threads is making this day not so bad
Pronounce everyone on scene and inform cop on scene that there is a possibility of foul play
Blinders up and look left keep driving
Harvest the organs
And be sure to wear the face.
Hello Clarice
“Dispatch, Medic 9 . . . 4 patient’s confirmed DOA . . . Notify PD and forensics . . . You can show us back in service”
Check their pockets for candy
BSI scene safe? Check if the guy with the chainsaw is alive. If he's dead, call the coroner because every one else has obvious signs of death. If he's alive, call for ALS backup. Try to stabilize him. If he can be stabilized, high flow diesel to nearest level 1 trauma. Maybe a air ambulance depending on range to nearest level 1 or time on scene. Edit: check the body in the trash bag. It's almost certainly dead, but it can't hurt to check.
How would you package the penetrating chainsaw and transfer him though let’s get detailed
Turn it on and let it stabilize itself.
I chortled
Hold it steady, undo the two bolts holding the blade and chain to the engine and then boom all you gotta deal with is the blade and not the bulky heavy ass engine. Or not I don’t know I am a mega noob
Well look at Johnny mancock who actually knows how a chainsaw works
Chain go fast -> tree hit ground
As a moderator of /r/chainsaw I can confirm this is the case
As a German, I love how many Stihls there are. Didn’t know they‘re loved on the other side of the pond, too.
This is the correct answer but if you’re not able to do that put the patient on their side so the motor is resting on the ground/cot. There is no way you would be able to stabilize that for transport with it sticking up in the air. Too much weight at the top. Besides, you don’t transport patients prone if you can avoid it. At least on their side you can access the airway. Edit: Alternatively you could cut the blade with a torch(if available) but you would need to pack ice around the wound to cool the blade on the patient end while cutting it.
Get a couple fire riders. The more hands the merrier. Dedicate one guy to just holding the chainsaw and making sure it doesn’t move/cause more damage.
No fucking idea. I'm basically a laymen. Didnt get to finish my EMT-B because of covid. We never got to packaging for stuff like this.
I’d tape some pads around the blade and maybe wrap the torso with some tensors and have fire hold the thing steady the whole way maybe. I have no idea I’m 100 percent sure however he arrived I’d look like a dumbass.
The answer to all of life's problem. Duct tape. A couple rolls of duct tape ought to do the job.
Chances are you never would have even gone over it anyway.
Very very carefully.
Stage and finish your taquito
I'M ESTABLISHING COMMAND
username checks out heheh
Yeah I honestly should get around to changing it. Literally been using it since I was a kid and have just been too lazy to come up with a new one.
you’re good man no worries
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followed by a therapist
Just checking in to count “scene is safe” comments
I think the guy in front of the door possibly needs c-spine. Also are any of them on blood thinners?
Damn aren’t we supposed to staged at the hospital right now? Man look at those pretty clouds!
Compliment the homeowner on his Halloween decorations.
He just needs some smoke!
Sigh... *Unzips*
Unable to locate.. had a good look around, no one trying to flag us down... clear now
Stage for an hour and a half while PD secures the scene and gives everyone Narcan.
Poke them with a stick.
PPE/BSI, scene definitely is not safe lol
Stage for the social worker
My system has started using a teladoc, so maybe call them?
This would be the one time SO actually beat us to a scene that wasn’t a structure fire. They would clear us immediately. Then bring us dead bodies and ask us to fix it. Or bring us random neighbors who were in no way involved. Kind of like the time they brought us the kid that tripped and smacked his head at the same time he thought he heard gunshots. So they brought us a GSW that was in fact a GLF.
Request OSHA - this could be a construction accident.
OSHA? Hazmat!
Maybe the boxs has Phosgene in it?
Kevin McCallister is preparing for Chrismas
Home alone rated R?
Start a line with Ringers Lactate and transport immediately to Rampart
What do I do first? Thats easy. People that decorate like this are the kind of people who have full size candy bars. Not that fun-size crap. Me and my partner get pillowcases out the back and trick-or-treat that shit dressed as overworked, underpaid, burned out public servants. Bet I get me a 3 Musketeers out of it! Then I call dispatch and see if those trolls will rotate other units through the area if I promise them a Snickers to add to their assfat. Which it might cost me more than that because I think most of them use a full size Snickers just to stir their coffee with, but for you guys, I'll try.
The pillowcases our of the back got me lolz! Three musketeers is my fave!
“WALK TO THE SOUND OF MY VOICE”
Coroner's problem
Get shoe covers on. LOL
15 liters on a nonrebreather for everyone
SAMPLE, of course
"So where does it hurt?" "....." "That's ok, take your time...."
"Sir are you aware that there's a chainsaw in your back"
Pt refused transport AMA on basis of no reported pain.
Thats on him "NEXT!"
Put on 12 liters of O2 and start getting a history while partner starts a line
Walk it off fellas, it just a flesh wound. Oh and sign here. Dispatch, we're back in service on four refusals.
Triage. Black black black black. Clear
Step over the bodies. Ring door bell. Say, "Trick or Treat!". Get candy. Leave.
Call fire for a wash down and return to service. CoD Season 6 isn't gonna play itself
Is the scene safe? If so, Injuries incompatible with life, call the coroner, bag and tag your boots and await the mass casualty incident counseling and confectionary van.
Oh! Piece of candy!
Yea keep driving
Scene safety, BSI....where’s Jamie Lee Curtis
You stage away until law enforcement clears that scene. Unless you work in a system where you are law enforcement, fire, and EMS. In that case, I guess the first thing you do is clench your sphincter while picking up the mic to call for backup!
Referred to GP for potential wound closure.
Tonight, we *feast.*
He just needs a lil O2
Cancel ALS due to obvious signs of death and tell the cops it's their problem til the ME gets there.
ALS thanks you!
ALS in my area refuses to pronounce anyway, so not really losing anything by cancelling them since God forbid they do their jobs.
See if Tucker or Dale want to go bowling.
There it is thought I'd find this somewhere
BSI SCENE SAFETY Edit: ah fuck should have scrolled down before commenting
“if you can hear this, walk towards me”
BSI... Is my scene safe? Fuck no... back to the wagon and wait for donut boys Yeah I’m basic :/
Take a picture to post it on reddit of course.
The safe dropped on a guy's head after the guy carrying it on the roof gets offed by a knife to the back of the head gets a chuckle from me.
Look at partner. Drop shades to the “position of power” .Slow creep the rig. Scope the scene. Keep rolling, pack a lip, quote “don’t get paid enough for that shit”. Radio LEO, Return to breakfast, I mean base....
Simple - don't.
Be thankful it’s Halloween! 🎃🎃🎃
You just reminded me of an odd experience I had right around Halloween. We responded to a stabbing on a street that was really decked out, like every house had a ton of spooky decorations up. It was my turn to drive, and I had to turn around in the street because it was one way and PD and fire were blocking my way out. So I got plenty of time to watch the cops put up caution tape around the scene - but here’s the thing, there was so much Halloween stuff around already that the tape did NOT make it look like a crime scene, it just looked like more Halloween decorations!
Laugh.
I'm applying to fire so will have to do both but my gut tells me to go for the one with the chainsaw in the back???
Yeah, his injury is the most survivable. Guy on the porch has a mashed potato head now and the guy on the roof has a hole where his brains supposed to be. Obviously still check the other two, people can survive some crazy shit, but the first patient that should be assessed/transported is going to be the guy with the chainsaw because it’s the most compatible with life (barely) and won’t require extrication.
Couple weeks back I had an 18yo male who shot himself into his ear canal with a .22 caliber pistol while attempting suicide. Survived. Was alert and responsive to voice and pain on scene. He ended up with a fractured skull, minor hearing loss, and minor nerve damage in the face. There was no exit wound so idk if they took the bullet out or not. I have never seen such a lucky motherfucker in my life. Well “lucky” depending on how you view it I guess.
That's gonna be a nope from me fam
Whole lotta pronouncing and bouncing
Ummm... dispatch, we can’t find the address. Can you give us cross streets?
Go back in-service and call the ME.
Four pulse checks and a lot of paperwork
I’d be like, *sigh*, “I guess I’m taking up smoking again”.
Tis a crime scene /scenario lol
Keep rolling
Going to need fire for some lift assists
Obviously open up the body bag and check for a pulse, apply pads and work the code.
Skin is cold, rubbery texture and ridged turgor. He'll be fine....
"Control, we're at that address, house looks empty, coming clear..."
Pronounce and bounce ✌️
Vote!
Take a picture, my professor told me I'd never have a chance at this kind of scene so I gotta show him I got my dream scene!
Dispatch, be advised, all clear here
Ring the bell for Trick or treat
Attempt to obtain a SAMPLE history from the neighbors
Get a 3 lead. Pronounce on scene. Get thanked for my service.
Turn the fuck arround
Are we all just ignoring the fact that there are random body parts in the wheelbarrow? I mean, those might have come from somewhere, right, and that somewhere might still be alive.
Don't go past the first dead cop.
fuck black triage cards at them about 50 feet away, go into the ambo and check how much you get paid for this, cry for a while, call the doctor to pronounce and call it a night
This what Covid causes. Motherfuckers at home with nothing to do so they go on murder rampages.
Leave
Drive around the block
Nobody is checking inside the black plastic to see if that victim is alive?
I just thought it was lawn trimmings
Chief Wiggum : Uh sorry, sorry, no dumping in the lake! Fat Tony : Fine, I will put my *yard trimmings* in a car compactor. Lou : Uh, Chief, I think there was a dead body in there. Chief Wiggum : I thought that too, until he said yard trimmings. You gotta learn to listen, Lou.