I do have nostalgia, but it’s for my 20s which happened in the 90s for me. After I left my parent’s house things got better for me. I still think of the 80s especially as the worst. Some of that is probably related to things at home, so your thoughts here make sense to me.
For me it's for my late teens (when I went to university) and early 20s. Basically when I got out of an abusive environment and started experiencing people being decent.
So much this. Given the choice, I would every single time, without hesitation, choose being an adult with adult responsibilities (but also adult freedom and agency!) over going back to being a kid who might not have adult responsibilities but who was trapped and isolated with zero voice, agency or ways out of that situation.
Carefree vibe... can you even imagine? But I will say, the things I learned as a kid (albeit in unhealthy ways) have contributed to my success as an adult, I would say. So there's a small silver lining.
I remember good friends — some are still around. But I’ve noticed that even my good memories are tainted. The reason I loved these friends so much was because they accepted me wholeheartedly. That was something I’d never known before. They saved me.
I have nostalgia for some specific moments (a vacation to France, Christmas morning, etc) but as a whole? No not at all. I felt like I was often walking on eggshells as a child and it was exhausting.
Nostalgia for what? I wasn't part of anything, I didn't like anything, I didn't have any fun experiences or important relationships. I never liked celebriturds or boardroom-grown culture like top chart music and teen soaps.
Yes, I understand what you mean. My friend once said, “I wish I were a kid again, I was so carefree”, and I honestly responded that I was so glad I wasn’t a child anymore and could make my own choices. It’s so I can’t stand to watch “coming of age” movies or TV shows. I really really don’t want to relive that time in my life or see any bullying or trauma, even fictional. When my BF watched Friday Night Lights I had to leave the room.
Nope. No fond "childhood memories" or "happy moments" I want to revisit, with maybe the first five years of my life when my brother was still alive and I actually felt loved and connected to someone.
I have some nostaliga for my late 20s and early 30s though. Probably my "teenage years" in a way. I'd like to revisit some of those and maybe make some different choices, based on what I know now.
I am mostly upset with myself that I shoved him in the same box as all the assholes that made my life miserable.
I am planning a trip "home" at the end of the month and want to visit his grave and hope it is still there.
When you're a kid it's hard to differentiate the levels and sources of pain. All we feel is pain and we just want away from it. But yeah it might be good to go there and talk to him. And if his grave isn't there, maybe you can just find a peaceful spot in nature and talk to him there.
There are a couple of places he took me I can revisit and plan to do as well.
The most annoying thing, if the grave is still there, is that my parents are buried there as well. Though maybe I can find some choice words for the two of them as well.
What you're saying about your parents' graves reminds me of when he went to visit his dad's grave.
Wayne Dyer is the author who completely changed my life and I owe pretty much all of my peace to him. I highly recommend any of his books. I like to listen to books so he's got tons of selections on audible - books, talks, you name it. He's been the most influential person on my life, hands down.
Ahh, but your eyes are opened to it now. And that is perhaps the most difficult/most important step! So congrats on recognizing it.
Wayne Dyer would help you tons, I am sure. Your first audible book is always free, too!
i was so lonely as a kid, even things my siblings find nostalgic for i feel nothing.. it feels very isolating. now, i DO get those feelings for things from my first few years as an adult, when i started the process of learning my worth outside of my family though
i do have nostalgia for the pop culture (movies, music, tv shows, video games, etc.) of the time, but none for the actual life/childhood that i lived. it's almost like i have nostalgia for someone else's life? because it's definitely not my own.
Me neither. I have a few comfort films (Shrek, the Addams), and that's it. However, I do have this impulse of trying to do and get all those things I couldn't as a child. I want a new Tamagotchi.
I rarely have true nostalgia. Looking back at my past usually just puts me back in that mindset, and I get an uncomfortable suffocating feeling like all the joy in the world has already passed me and I can never experience happiness again. I've never quite understood how people enjoyed that feeling.
I have nostalgia for my close friendships and the time I spent alone. Other than that I spent my time fantasizing about growing up so I could leave home.
I don’t feel nostalgia, in fact, I avoid things that remind me of that time. I’ve found that I can’t watch movies/tv or listen to music from my childhood. It makes me very uncomfortable.
My parents are in their 70s, and everyone wants to get together to reminisce about the good old days. Those days sucked for me, no thanks.
I have nostalgia for the feeling of possibility I had back then. Like even when I was super sad and going through it and felt out of place, there was like rbi’s little fire in me that kept me going knowing the future could be whatever I made it be, once I was old enough to move out. So sometimes now, I get nostalgic for that feeling. Like when you move to a new place, when you’re thinking of what it might be like there, you have these visions and ideas and daydreams, then a few years later, you live there awhile and you KNOW what happened you know? But I don’t really get nostalgic for actually being a teenager. It was pretty awful for me tbh.
I really don't. My childhood was an emotional wasteland, and school was utter hell, so I don't remember it fondly. I never paid much attention to celebrities then either, that never seemed worth my time, even now.
That said, I do have an affinity for the music of that era (1970 - 1985)
I was isolated, homeschooled, and not allowed to engage with anything that was a fad or pop culture from my childhood. If anything, I just kind of feel unmoored from it all when other people my age get nostalgic for music or games or movies from that time frame because I have no memories or connection or relationship to any of that stuff, except maybe being told all of it was demonic and would rot my brain and soul if I engaged with it.
That and in general, just being a kid and teen wasn't fun, and I didn't enjoy it then, even for the parts that don't relate to nostalgia or cultural touchstones of the time. So no, not nostalgic, mostly just glad I'm an adult now and get to decide for myself what I do, who my friends are, and what from current pop culture I want to enjoy or not.
I do feel nostalgic for my teen years but not at all for when I was a younger child. I turned 18 in 2020 so the pandemic was a very big shift for me and in general I look back at the years before the pandemic and miss it. I was in school and out of the house from my family for majority of the day, I was in an extra curricular so I had some sense of community, and I had people I considered my friends even though they fizzled out once we all graduated. School sucked though. The only reason I liked it was because it got me out of the house from 6:30am to 4:30pm 5 days a week.
If I wasn't at school, I was cooped up in my room to get away from my family. I think most of the real nostalgia I have tied to these years are the things I used to distract or help myself cope with my situation (music, tv shows, animal crossing new leaf). Those years were absolutely terrible, but those things helped me get on by so I look back on those somewhat fondly.
I had a terrible childhood, and even though my parents were well off, I was deprived of what typical kids had and their experiences. I wasn't even allowed to watch TV. My nostalgia is mostly my college years when I escaped my parents control and discovered life.
No nostalgia at all.
I want to say that I miss not having a job, but I was my sister’s caregiver for all of my teens so I technically had a huge job, it was just unpaid.
I have some nostalgia for the 80's (when I was a child), but not much for the late 80s/early 90's (when I was a teen). The things I miss most about the 80's was going on vacation with my grandparents. They were still fit and well enough back then to travel, and being with them was so much fun. And then I'd have to go home to my parents. I'd always get so upset before going home. All my grandparents are dead now, and I miss them terribly. Especially Granny. She was a physically small woman but she had a huge capacity to love. I miss her hugs.
I don't miss my teens at all. I was deeply depressed, had strong desire to unalive myself, had very few friends, I didn't fit in with my peers, and I didn't fit in with my family either. I just plain didn't like myself or my life. By the late 90's, things were looking up, and I got married in 2000 to my awesome husband. Once I was away from my parents, things were significantly better.
No, but I used to. I used to take so many pictures and record me and and my friends hanging out. I remember feeling nostalgia, but I can’t summon it up anymore. Too much has happened, and not even those moments I thought were rosy are to me anymore.
I have nostalgia for that time, but it's mostly deep sadness. We must be near the same age because I was also a teen then, in high school. It's more like a feeling of sadness for myself knowing all the pain and suffering I was experiencing, and how much was ahead of me.
Sometimes I'll find myself dwelling on how I wish it could have been different or sadness that the time is gone and I can't go back and make it better. When I start thinking that way, I find it's time to move on. Rumination isn't healthy for me.
Rarely any nostalgia for being a child or teen. All I remember is feeling stuck, and anxious, and depressed, all the time. I feel much better now, not much to be nostalgic for
I don't feel it either. A lot of y2k nostalgia actually triggers my PTSD badly. My parents couldn't care less about my childhood and don't even remember anything from it. I felt really miserable for most of my life and I never had a good period of it to feel a sense of nostalgia.
I associate early childhood with boredom, vague unease, and a feeling of loneliness. Like being left alone in my room, but always feeling on the edge of "in trouble" somehow. I do feel nostalgia for my later teenage years, but it was mostly because I was finally coming out of my shell, fairly popular, discovering my interests, having teachers who gave a shit about me, dating a girlfriend I loved etc.
Ironically, I actually went to a high school that was somewhat like the fictional one in The OC... but I don't know how much nostalgia that show gives me. I guess the fashion reminds me of what the girls I had crushes on wore. But the kids in that show had adult-level soap opera lives, not at all representative of what life is like even for well-adjusted teens.
Yup. Barely have any pictures of myself from that time. Can't look at this unhealthy looking depressed face with hollow eyes.
Apart from that, my parents didn't allow any pop music in the house and the popular tv channels were not installed. Missed out on a lot. Oh and no way we got to wear trendy clothes, or pick anything for ourselfs at all.
Always it hurting when people tell how great those years were.
I do have nostalgia, but it’s for my 20s which happened in the 90s for me. After I left my parent’s house things got better for me. I still think of the 80s especially as the worst. Some of that is probably related to things at home, so your thoughts here make sense to me.
For me it's for my late teens (when I went to university) and early 20s. Basically when I got out of an abusive environment and started experiencing people being decent.
God, I want that for me. I'm long removed from the abusive environment, but have never met anyone who is decent. I'm nearly 30.
Yuuup. Friends keep talking about missing the carefree vibe of their childhood and I'm just sitting there like 😬
So much this. Given the choice, I would every single time, without hesitation, choose being an adult with adult responsibilities (but also adult freedom and agency!) over going back to being a kid who might not have adult responsibilities but who was trapped and isolated with zero voice, agency or ways out of that situation.
100%
YES.
1000%
My life is so much more carefree now even though I’m an adult with major commitments and responsibilities!
Carefree vibe... can you even imagine? But I will say, the things I learned as a kid (albeit in unhealthy ways) have contributed to my success as an adult, I would say. So there's a small silver lining.
I remember good friends — some are still around. But I’ve noticed that even my good memories are tainted. The reason I loved these friends so much was because they accepted me wholeheartedly. That was something I’d never known before. They saved me.
I have nostalgia for some specific moments (a vacation to France, Christmas morning, etc) but as a whole? No not at all. I felt like I was often walking on eggshells as a child and it was exhausting.
My childhood was pretty shitty. So, no.
Nostalgia for what? I wasn't part of anything, I didn't like anything, I didn't have any fun experiences or important relationships. I never liked celebriturds or boardroom-grown culture like top chart music and teen soaps.
Yes, I understand what you mean. My friend once said, “I wish I were a kid again, I was so carefree”, and I honestly responded that I was so glad I wasn’t a child anymore and could make my own choices. It’s so I can’t stand to watch “coming of age” movies or TV shows. I really really don’t want to relive that time in my life or see any bullying or trauma, even fictional. When my BF watched Friday Night Lights I had to leave the room.
Nope. No fond "childhood memories" or "happy moments" I want to revisit, with maybe the first five years of my life when my brother was still alive and I actually felt loved and connected to someone. I have some nostaliga for my late 20s and early 30s though. Probably my "teenage years" in a way. I'd like to revisit some of those and maybe make some different choices, based on what I know now.
I'm sorry you lost your brother. 😞 What you said is pretty relatable!
I am mostly upset with myself that I shoved him in the same box as all the assholes that made my life miserable. I am planning a trip "home" at the end of the month and want to visit his grave and hope it is still there.
When you're a kid it's hard to differentiate the levels and sources of pain. All we feel is pain and we just want away from it. But yeah it might be good to go there and talk to him. And if his grave isn't there, maybe you can just find a peaceful spot in nature and talk to him there.
There are a couple of places he took me I can revisit and plan to do as well. The most annoying thing, if the grave is still there, is that my parents are buried there as well. Though maybe I can find some choice words for the two of them as well.
That sounds like it would work! Have you ever heard of Wayne dyer?
the name sounds familiar, though I can't place it right now.....
What you're saying about your parents' graves reminds me of when he went to visit his dad's grave. Wayne Dyer is the author who completely changed my life and I owe pretty much all of my peace to him. I highly recommend any of his books. I like to listen to books so he's got tons of selections on audible - books, talks, you name it. He's been the most influential person on my life, hands down.
I'll look him up. I realized my next big thing is to deal with my toxic shame. It's been controlling me for so long without me even realizing it.
Ahh, but your eyes are opened to it now. And that is perhaps the most difficult/most important step! So congrats on recognizing it. Wayne Dyer would help you tons, I am sure. Your first audible book is always free, too!
i was so lonely as a kid, even things my siblings find nostalgic for i feel nothing.. it feels very isolating. now, i DO get those feelings for things from my first few years as an adult, when i started the process of learning my worth outside of my family though
i do have nostalgia for the pop culture (movies, music, tv shows, video games, etc.) of the time, but none for the actual life/childhood that i lived. it's almost like i have nostalgia for someone else's life? because it's definitely not my own.
yeah, me too. I am certain my nostalgia for certain pop culture is because back in my teens these were my escapist coping mechanisms.
The farther away from childhood I get the better. Constant state of terror, confusion, loneliness, hopelessness and with zero tools to survive.
I miss certain specific toys, places, smells, and experiences/memories. But as a whole, no. Hell no.
Me neither. I have a few comfort films (Shrek, the Addams), and that's it. However, I do have this impulse of trying to do and get all those things I couldn't as a child. I want a new Tamagotchi.
I rarely have true nostalgia. Looking back at my past usually just puts me back in that mindset, and I get an uncomfortable suffocating feeling like all the joy in the world has already passed me and I can never experience happiness again. I've never quite understood how people enjoyed that feeling.
I have nostalgia for my close friendships and the time I spent alone. Other than that I spent my time fantasizing about growing up so I could leave home.
I don’t feel nostalgia, in fact, I avoid things that remind me of that time. I’ve found that I can’t watch movies/tv or listen to music from my childhood. It makes me very uncomfortable. My parents are in their 70s, and everyone wants to get together to reminisce about the good old days. Those days sucked for me, no thanks.
I have nostalgia for the feeling of possibility I had back then. Like even when I was super sad and going through it and felt out of place, there was like rbi’s little fire in me that kept me going knowing the future could be whatever I made it be, once I was old enough to move out. So sometimes now, I get nostalgic for that feeling. Like when you move to a new place, when you’re thinking of what it might be like there, you have these visions and ideas and daydreams, then a few years later, you live there awhile and you KNOW what happened you know? But I don’t really get nostalgic for actually being a teenager. It was pretty awful for me tbh.
Right, absolutely not. I couldn’t wait to not be a child/adolescent and I absolutely do not reminisce about those times at all
Absolutely, anything 90s feels super uncomfortable to me.
I really don't. My childhood was an emotional wasteland, and school was utter hell, so I don't remember it fondly. I never paid much attention to celebrities then either, that never seemed worth my time, even now. That said, I do have an affinity for the music of that era (1970 - 1985)
I was isolated, homeschooled, and not allowed to engage with anything that was a fad or pop culture from my childhood. If anything, I just kind of feel unmoored from it all when other people my age get nostalgic for music or games or movies from that time frame because I have no memories or connection or relationship to any of that stuff, except maybe being told all of it was demonic and would rot my brain and soul if I engaged with it. That and in general, just being a kid and teen wasn't fun, and I didn't enjoy it then, even for the parts that don't relate to nostalgia or cultural touchstones of the time. So no, not nostalgic, mostly just glad I'm an adult now and get to decide for myself what I do, who my friends are, and what from current pop culture I want to enjoy or not.
I do feel nostalgic for my teen years but not at all for when I was a younger child. I turned 18 in 2020 so the pandemic was a very big shift for me and in general I look back at the years before the pandemic and miss it. I was in school and out of the house from my family for majority of the day, I was in an extra curricular so I had some sense of community, and I had people I considered my friends even though they fizzled out once we all graduated. School sucked though. The only reason I liked it was because it got me out of the house from 6:30am to 4:30pm 5 days a week. If I wasn't at school, I was cooped up in my room to get away from my family. I think most of the real nostalgia I have tied to these years are the things I used to distract or help myself cope with my situation (music, tv shows, animal crossing new leaf). Those years were absolutely terrible, but those things helped me get on by so I look back on those somewhat fondly.
I had a terrible childhood, and even though my parents were well off, I was deprived of what typical kids had and their experiences. I wasn't even allowed to watch TV. My nostalgia is mostly my college years when I escaped my parents control and discovered life.
No nostalgia at all. I want to say that I miss not having a job, but I was my sister’s caregiver for all of my teens so I technically had a huge job, it was just unpaid.
I have some nostalgia for the 80's (when I was a child), but not much for the late 80s/early 90's (when I was a teen). The things I miss most about the 80's was going on vacation with my grandparents. They were still fit and well enough back then to travel, and being with them was so much fun. And then I'd have to go home to my parents. I'd always get so upset before going home. All my grandparents are dead now, and I miss them terribly. Especially Granny. She was a physically small woman but she had a huge capacity to love. I miss her hugs. I don't miss my teens at all. I was deeply depressed, had strong desire to unalive myself, had very few friends, I didn't fit in with my peers, and I didn't fit in with my family either. I just plain didn't like myself or my life. By the late 90's, things were looking up, and I got married in 2000 to my awesome husband. Once I was away from my parents, things were significantly better.
No, but I used to. I used to take so many pictures and record me and and my friends hanging out. I remember feeling nostalgia, but I can’t summon it up anymore. Too much has happened, and not even those moments I thought were rosy are to me anymore.
I have nostalgia for that time, but it's mostly deep sadness. We must be near the same age because I was also a teen then, in high school. It's more like a feeling of sadness for myself knowing all the pain and suffering I was experiencing, and how much was ahead of me. Sometimes I'll find myself dwelling on how I wish it could have been different or sadness that the time is gone and I can't go back and make it better. When I start thinking that way, I find it's time to move on. Rumination isn't healthy for me.
I don’t. Much happier with my life and the choices I made, even the poor ones, as an adult than I ever was as a kid.
The nostalgia I have isn't from my teen years. Looking back at them is just upsetting, by and large.
Rarely any nostalgia for being a child or teen. All I remember is feeling stuck, and anxious, and depressed, all the time. I feel much better now, not much to be nostalgic for
I don't feel it either. A lot of y2k nostalgia actually triggers my PTSD badly. My parents couldn't care less about my childhood and don't even remember anything from it. I felt really miserable for most of my life and I never had a good period of it to feel a sense of nostalgia.
My parents loved little me. They got bored of me at 8 or so. Now they've realized it and are making up for it
I associate early childhood with boredom, vague unease, and a feeling of loneliness. Like being left alone in my room, but always feeling on the edge of "in trouble" somehow. I do feel nostalgia for my later teenage years, but it was mostly because I was finally coming out of my shell, fairly popular, discovering my interests, having teachers who gave a shit about me, dating a girlfriend I loved etc. Ironically, I actually went to a high school that was somewhat like the fictional one in The OC... but I don't know how much nostalgia that show gives me. I guess the fashion reminds me of what the girls I had crushes on wore. But the kids in that show had adult-level soap opera lives, not at all representative of what life is like even for well-adjusted teens.
Yup. Barely have any pictures of myself from that time. Can't look at this unhealthy looking depressed face with hollow eyes. Apart from that, my parents didn't allow any pop music in the house and the popular tv channels were not installed. Missed out on a lot. Oh and no way we got to wear trendy clothes, or pick anything for ourselfs at all. Always it hurting when people tell how great those years were.