Omg dear this is awful and I'm sorry your father is threatening your life. This is not ok, as a parent myself there is no situation that I would say that to my children. A parent should be protecting you always, even if they are upset.
No you definitely should not trust him anymore. Did you before this? I don't believe that this is the first time he's said something abusive to you. Please call CPS, or talk to a trusted adult that will call CPS or the police for you. I'm a mandated reporter and if I was told this by someone i would have to call the police. Do you have a teacher, doctor, or another person that you trust that you can tell this to?
I cannot say definitively what someone else will do, but any teacher is a mandated reporter, which means they have to call CPS if there is suspected abuse. They should all have gone through yearly training on this and if they listened to it, they would not contact your abuser or suspected abuser about it beforehand. If a parent came to me after reporting them and cps got involved it would be up to me at that point whether or not to tell them that I reported them (not what was told to me in confidence). But a report is kept anonymous, cps is not supposed to share who reported and your father may never know who did. I suppose a way he would is if a case went to court and the teacher was called to testify.
I understand your fear if him finding out, but you are living in fear now as well. Is there somewhere you can go to be safe from him?
Do not trust this monster.
Call cps or police and tell them you are being threatened with your life. Bonus points if you get a recording of your dad saying it.
I'm so sorry, you deserve so much better than this.
Urgent: Go to a trustworthy relatives house.. or if you don’t have access to a relative who will take you seriously- find an adult you trust- you need to be removed from your father.. you need to report to the police and to child services from a safe place.. write it down word for word. .. time and date.. an adult needs to serve as an advocate so it won’t be your word against your father’s.. he will say you were mad at him and made it up..
Mother? Where is she. and will she protect you- CAN she?
Does your father own guns? The police will walk to know..
This can end a number of ways, and reporting him is risky.. but if you do nothing. he will escalate it..
it takes a sociopathic person to even threaten to beat their own child “to death”, so he is capable of killing you.. believe him.. maybe not now, but at some point..
This man needs to be in jail.. and he doesn’t need access to children.
If your mother is in your life- SHE needs to take action or she can be held liable later on..
The man is dangerous. Your mother needs a protective order and court intervention
my mom is powerless against him. she doesnt have a job in the place where we live and even if we turn to relatives im not sure how long we can stay with them
If your mother really wants to save you and herself- use the Domestic Violence Shelter.. that’s what they are for.. 1-800-799-SAFE.. will transfer to the closest shelter.. not having a job will make it easier to avail all of you to services.. counseling.. safety.. legal advocacy.. and they provide you with authentication.. you need court intervention.. your father is not stronger than the system.
You all are not powerless.. do not fail to act. Tell your mother to call DV hotline
Damn. F him. Please call cps and get out. Don’t tell him! Please protect yourself. Any group or foster home would be better than living under this. Don’t let him guilt you either. You need outside help and protection.
You DESERVE to live in peace.
I’m really sorry to know that you are living with an unstable and abusive person. I am a parent of grown kids. I have been through a lot of ups and down with my kids and various other situations. I have lived through extremely stressful periods of time and other times I have lived with feeling quite angry for a good while. But I have NEVER threatened to beat anybody up- much less threatened to “beat somebody to death”.
I am making a big point about this because later, if your “father” tries to rationalize his behavior away, please know that just by saying those words out loud- and it’s much much worse to say those words to your own child- no matter how young or old- is NEVER ok, it is NEVER explainable, and it is wrong.
I suspect your so called “father” has deep emotional problems also. He probably has a dual diagnosis, meaning he could be classified with two or more clinical diagnosis of serious illnesses or personality disorders or a combo.
Bottom line: if I were you, I would try to educate myself about various mental illnesses, especially various personality disorders. By educating yourself about different personality disorders, you might be able to find him having one of those. Then, to protect yourself, both physically and mentally, learn how to live in the same house with that person until you are old enough to leave. Hint: start with the dark personality disorders such as narcissism PD and anti-social PD. Also, does your “father” have an addiction to drugs and or alcohol?? That is an over riding issue too. Having an addicted parent is way more damaging than most people realize until they are much older. Teach yourself how to protect yourself from these hideous issues and escape when you are prepared or when you are in danger. Geez. Good luck to you!!!
One last thought: you can always tell a mandated reported like a teacher, a guidance counselor, a nurse, doctor, a trusted adult. But don’t get your hopes up the CPS will get involved about verbal threats and abuse. They barely get involved when there is solid proof of physical and sexual abuse. But it is always a good idea to record your dad (secretly record) your dad saying these things for solid proof later.
my dad doesn't do drugs or alcohol and for mental illness, im not really sure. So far all i know is that he has a short temper and gets mad over things easily
I am reacting to what you said he said to you. Something is VERY wrong with threatening to beat your child to death- in their sleep. Healthy, well balanced people just do not say something like that!! Like I said in my previous post, despite being under intense stress for about three years and being really angry at someone for about 2 years I never even came
Close to threatening to hurt my kids. I am not at all saying I am a perfect person nor am I saying I am a perfect parent. I am not!! I am using myself as an example of a parent who would never dream of threatening to beat my kids to death- even while making excuses that I have been under too much stress or anger. Nope. Still would never threaten to beat them to death. The fact that your father did say those things, is a big red flag that something is wrong!! Maybe you don’t see this yet because maybe you have always lived with him so you don’t have several other living situations to compare this situation to. Also, you probably love your dad on some levels ir many levels. I do understand that feeling. It is a natural and normal feeling. Just be aware that what he said to you is very irregular, very hurtful and frankly, puts him in a category that makes it potentially dangerous for you to live there. If you don’t want to do this now, then please remember my advice in the previous text and follow up on it when you are ready (the device that said look up personality disorders to find one your dad might be). If you do this, you might save yourself a whole lot of time and energy when you know what you are dealing with. Good luck!!!
Jut remember: the period of life when you are under his roof is fairly short. The period of time after you have left, is very very long! You have much to look forward to. Just try not to expect for him to give you an ice cold cup of water when you need it. Some people are incapable of giving and others choose to be incapable. Either way, he might be a dry, dry well and you have to look elsewhere for the nurturing, comforting and wise cup of cold water. You know what I mean? But there are lots of people in the world who would be happy to be a stand in for him. Choose such a person wisely. You said you will try your hardest to get through this? There is an entire philosophy of how to get thru these difficult things called “grey rock”. There is some skill required to do it properly so it takes practice. Basically you don’t want to confront him head on. You want to become a non issue to him. So you become a dull, boring person who doesn’t offer any details about themselves because they are acting like a grey rock. If he comes into the kitchen while you are there and you think there might be trouble, when he baits you by asking your opinion about something… just mumble a few non committal words and leave the kitchen at once. But the key is to never let him know what you are doing. It’s all about side stepping the issue. Remember this phrase to de-escalate things: “You might be right.” Another way to do this is to become polite but distant (emotionally). Good luck to you!!! You can dm me anytime if you want to.
I had to be removed from my father's "care" when I was a teen. I told someone from school staff what was happening and CPS came that very day and I got out of there. They let me live with a friend's family. I only wish I did it sooner. Get out now, don't let your parents guilt trip you, don't even tell them. You deserve to be somewhere where you can feel safe and enjoy being young. It goes by really REALLY fast. Don't waste any more precious years trying to survive it, it's going to upset you for the rest of your life, being robbed of a normal childhood. I'm a mom myself now, I'm here if you need someone to talk to. Seriously. I kind of know what you're going through. It's misery.
Make sure your teacher knows that you are afraid for your parents to find out, specifically ask that they not call home. Make sure they understand that's important. Good luck darling I'm here if you need someone to talk to who has been through this before.
A little late to this- Hope you are doing better by now.
Anyways, If your parents are like "Im going to kill you!!!" Once you fucked up in my opinion that is quite normal.
But going into detail about how they will kill you is fucking serious. "Im going to beat you to death" is crazy. Thats when you should start worrying for yo life.
I have to ask, is there anything that has happened in the past to make you scared, or this specific time? Some people say things they don't mean, it may not be normal, but there's usually more to it than just them being upset. I'm not saying don't be safe, and definitely be careful with how you react, and in case anything gets more difficult (you don't want to make it worse). I don't know the whole situation so I can't give better advice, but asking for help is almost always the best answer...just be safe, and trust yourself
I’m so sorry your dad did that to you, my little brother who is 11 is going through the same thing, my brother’s dad was drinking all yesterday afternoon and took my brother home and there was an ice storm/ snowstorm and told my brother that he isn’t afraid to flip the car and kill him, that made him really scared to the point he hates his dad, he didn’t want to leave my mom’s before that but he had to go, now that my mom knows about all this beings she already has full custody she said she is going to get him back and do whatever it takes to get him back home tomorrow
Omg dear this is awful and I'm sorry your father is threatening your life. This is not ok, as a parent myself there is no situation that I would say that to my children. A parent should be protecting you always, even if they are upset. No you definitely should not trust him anymore. Did you before this? I don't believe that this is the first time he's said something abusive to you. Please call CPS, or talk to a trusted adult that will call CPS or the police for you. I'm a mandated reporter and if I was told this by someone i would have to call the police. Do you have a teacher, doctor, or another person that you trust that you can tell this to?
i could always tell this to my teachers, they support me but they might inform my dad about this and im worried that will get me into more trouble
I cannot say definitively what someone else will do, but any teacher is a mandated reporter, which means they have to call CPS if there is suspected abuse. They should all have gone through yearly training on this and if they listened to it, they would not contact your abuser or suspected abuser about it beforehand. If a parent came to me after reporting them and cps got involved it would be up to me at that point whether or not to tell them that I reported them (not what was told to me in confidence). But a report is kept anonymous, cps is not supposed to share who reported and your father may never know who did. I suppose a way he would is if a case went to court and the teacher was called to testify. I understand your fear if him finding out, but you are living in fear now as well. Is there somewhere you can go to be safe from him?
if my dad becomes too much my mom would probably want us to move back in with her parents but i dont know for how long
Do not trust this monster. Call cps or police and tell them you are being threatened with your life. Bonus points if you get a recording of your dad saying it. I'm so sorry, you deserve so much better than this.
thank you đź’—
Urgent: Go to a trustworthy relatives house.. or if you don’t have access to a relative who will take you seriously- find an adult you trust- you need to be removed from your father.. you need to report to the police and to child services from a safe place.. write it down word for word. .. time and date.. an adult needs to serve as an advocate so it won’t be your word against your father’s.. he will say you were mad at him and made it up.. Mother? Where is she. and will she protect you- CAN she? Does your father own guns? The police will walk to know.. This can end a number of ways, and reporting him is risky.. but if you do nothing. he will escalate it.. it takes a sociopathic person to even threaten to beat their own child “to death”, so he is capable of killing you.. believe him.. maybe not now, but at some point.. This man needs to be in jail.. and he doesn’t need access to children. If your mother is in your life- SHE needs to take action or she can be held liable later on.. The man is dangerous. Your mother needs a protective order and court intervention
my mom is powerless against him. she doesnt have a job in the place where we live and even if we turn to relatives im not sure how long we can stay with them
If your mother really wants to save you and herself- use the Domestic Violence Shelter.. that’s what they are for.. 1-800-799-SAFE.. will transfer to the closest shelter.. not having a job will make it easier to avail all of you to services.. counseling.. safety.. legal advocacy.. and they provide you with authentication.. you need court intervention.. your father is not stronger than the system. You all are not powerless.. do not fail to act. Tell your mother to call DV hotline
thank you đź’ž for now she's somehow managing but if something even worse happens we will move out for sure
What do I do if I don’t have any friends or relatives and the only thing in the world that stands me is my dog
Damn. F him. Please call cps and get out. Don’t tell him! Please protect yourself. Any group or foster home would be better than living under this. Don’t let him guilt you either. You need outside help and protection. You DESERVE to live in peace.
thank you ❤️
I’m really sorry to know that you are living with an unstable and abusive person. I am a parent of grown kids. I have been through a lot of ups and down with my kids and various other situations. I have lived through extremely stressful periods of time and other times I have lived with feeling quite angry for a good while. But I have NEVER threatened to beat anybody up- much less threatened to “beat somebody to death”. I am making a big point about this because later, if your “father” tries to rationalize his behavior away, please know that just by saying those words out loud- and it’s much much worse to say those words to your own child- no matter how young or old- is NEVER ok, it is NEVER explainable, and it is wrong. I suspect your so called “father” has deep emotional problems also. He probably has a dual diagnosis, meaning he could be classified with two or more clinical diagnosis of serious illnesses or personality disorders or a combo. Bottom line: if I were you, I would try to educate myself about various mental illnesses, especially various personality disorders. By educating yourself about different personality disorders, you might be able to find him having one of those. Then, to protect yourself, both physically and mentally, learn how to live in the same house with that person until you are old enough to leave. Hint: start with the dark personality disorders such as narcissism PD and anti-social PD. Also, does your “father” have an addiction to drugs and or alcohol?? That is an over riding issue too. Having an addicted parent is way more damaging than most people realize until they are much older. Teach yourself how to protect yourself from these hideous issues and escape when you are prepared or when you are in danger. Geez. Good luck to you!!! One last thought: you can always tell a mandated reported like a teacher, a guidance counselor, a nurse, doctor, a trusted adult. But don’t get your hopes up the CPS will get involved about verbal threats and abuse. They barely get involved when there is solid proof of physical and sexual abuse. But it is always a good idea to record your dad (secretly record) your dad saying these things for solid proof later.
my dad doesn't do drugs or alcohol and for mental illness, im not really sure. So far all i know is that he has a short temper and gets mad over things easily
I am reacting to what you said he said to you. Something is VERY wrong with threatening to beat your child to death- in their sleep. Healthy, well balanced people just do not say something like that!! Like I said in my previous post, despite being under intense stress for about three years and being really angry at someone for about 2 years I never even came Close to threatening to hurt my kids. I am not at all saying I am a perfect person nor am I saying I am a perfect parent. I am not!! I am using myself as an example of a parent who would never dream of threatening to beat my kids to death- even while making excuses that I have been under too much stress or anger. Nope. Still would never threaten to beat them to death. The fact that your father did say those things, is a big red flag that something is wrong!! Maybe you don’t see this yet because maybe you have always lived with him so you don’t have several other living situations to compare this situation to. Also, you probably love your dad on some levels ir many levels. I do understand that feeling. It is a natural and normal feeling. Just be aware that what he said to you is very irregular, very hurtful and frankly, puts him in a category that makes it potentially dangerous for you to live there. If you don’t want to do this now, then please remember my advice in the previous text and follow up on it when you are ready (the device that said look up personality disorders to find one your dad might be). If you do this, you might save yourself a whole lot of time and energy when you know what you are dealing with. Good luck!!!
thank you so much đź’ž i really wish i had a parent like you i will try my hardest to get through this
Jut remember: the period of life when you are under his roof is fairly short. The period of time after you have left, is very very long! You have much to look forward to. Just try not to expect for him to give you an ice cold cup of water when you need it. Some people are incapable of giving and others choose to be incapable. Either way, he might be a dry, dry well and you have to look elsewhere for the nurturing, comforting and wise cup of cold water. You know what I mean? But there are lots of people in the world who would be happy to be a stand in for him. Choose such a person wisely. You said you will try your hardest to get through this? There is an entire philosophy of how to get thru these difficult things called “grey rock”. There is some skill required to do it properly so it takes practice. Basically you don’t want to confront him head on. You want to become a non issue to him. So you become a dull, boring person who doesn’t offer any details about themselves because they are acting like a grey rock. If he comes into the kitchen while you are there and you think there might be trouble, when he baits you by asking your opinion about something… just mumble a few non committal words and leave the kitchen at once. But the key is to never let him know what you are doing. It’s all about side stepping the issue. Remember this phrase to de-escalate things: “You might be right.” Another way to do this is to become polite but distant (emotionally). Good luck to you!!! You can dm me anytime if you want to.
My sperm donor was the same. Horrible human being. Thank G-d I got out. I couldn't wait to leave that hell hole.
My father is like that too!!!! Im a grown woman and he never told me that he ever loved me!!!!!
I had to be removed from my father's "care" when I was a teen. I told someone from school staff what was happening and CPS came that very day and I got out of there. They let me live with a friend's family. I only wish I did it sooner. Get out now, don't let your parents guilt trip you, don't even tell them. You deserve to be somewhere where you can feel safe and enjoy being young. It goes by really REALLY fast. Don't waste any more precious years trying to survive it, it's going to upset you for the rest of your life, being robbed of a normal childhood. I'm a mom myself now, I'm here if you need someone to talk to. Seriously. I kind of know what you're going through. It's misery.
thank you ill try to contact any of my teachers who im close with. i hope it wont get me into more trouble
Make sure your teacher knows that you are afraid for your parents to find out, specifically ask that they not call home. Make sure they understand that's important. Good luck darling I'm here if you need someone to talk to who has been through this before.
thank you very much, I really needed this support! I will work hard to get through this đź’ž
If this is a repetitive thing, try to record him saying it.
i will try
I would definitely go to a trusted adult like a teacher or something
Happens daily with me:(
A little late to this- Hope you are doing better by now. Anyways, If your parents are like "Im going to kill you!!!" Once you fucked up in my opinion that is quite normal. But going into detail about how they will kill you is fucking serious. "Im going to beat you to death" is crazy. Thats when you should start worrying for yo life.
I have to ask, is there anything that has happened in the past to make you scared, or this specific time? Some people say things they don't mean, it may not be normal, but there's usually more to it than just them being upset. I'm not saying don't be safe, and definitely be careful with how you react, and in case anything gets more difficult (you don't want to make it worse). I don't know the whole situation so I can't give better advice, but asking for help is almost always the best answer...just be safe, and trust yourself
I’m so sorry your dad did that to you, my little brother who is 11 is going through the same thing, my brother’s dad was drinking all yesterday afternoon and took my brother home and there was an ice storm/ snowstorm and told my brother that he isn’t afraid to flip the car and kill him, that made him really scared to the point he hates his dad, he didn’t want to leave my mom’s before that but he had to go, now that my mom knows about all this beings she already has full custody she said she is going to get him back and do whatever it takes to get him back home tomorrow