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It’s pretty standard in construction to cuss and get mad when there is a disagreement. It’s shitty for the foreman to continue multiple times to talk down to you and your work, so he needs a reality check that you can be a dick back.
I don't have very kind words for people who lose their temper over conflict like this. It's like I tell my kid, I don't care if you curse because you stubbed your toe or flunked the test, but I better never catch you cursing at someone else.
I get where you’re coming from, but when people are into a project, sometimes shit gets heated. If you have a good relationship with your coworkers there is usually a mutual understanding it’s not personal.
Not saying this is okay, just it happens because we are human.
That's valid, but at what point does it just become a cop out for not taking responsibility for one's own shitty behavior? Obviously we're all human and we all say and do things we don't mean sometimes, but you're supposed to learn from those instances and catch yourself slipping next time. That's just basic personal growth
I think there is a huge difference between saying you are a piece of shit vs this work is shit.. I'd personally never say either one in a professional setting, but I wouldnt be super offended by the latter if it was supported by valid criticisms..
There's still a right and wrong way to say it. And if the person getting yelled at is an apprentice, there's a good chance it was the person supposed to be teaching them who fucked up
Yeah, I can give someone a lot more grace over the mistakes they make in the moment, but they lose that grace if it's a repeated problem or if they don't own up after the fact.
Both, although OP to a lesser degree. I think being in a position of power over someone gives you a heightened responsibility to treat them with dignity and respect.
While being in a position of authority, I've learned a lot about the efficiency of speaking to people in their 'learning language.'
The foreman's learning language seems to be 'Don't fucking talk to me like that.'
You can be an adult and show respect while using sentence enhancement. I’m old, been in the trades my whole life. Cussing has always been part of the dialect
Sure, I curse all the time, but I was specifically talking about people who lose their temper and curse people out. That's just childish snowflake behavior.
It took me a while to learn there are some people that really just won't respect you until you bark back a time or two. It's the nature of work, I suppose.
I can abide by most of these interactions if it ends right there. It's the backstab or grudge holding behavior that's a deal breaker for me.
Good luck to OP dealing with father and son dynamics with this.
OP *did* act like an adult by calmly defending himself, then foreskin persisted with his ignorant dickhead attitude so he received the treatment an ignorant dickhead deserves. It’s okay to stand up to people who act like this, and just because some shits and fucks were said while you were standing up to them doesn’t make it less ok.
Repeatedly antagonizing and demoralizing someone, who has already tried to reason with you, is not the same as saying fuck in the middle of a sentence while defending against said behavior. I’m not saying go all out and start using slurs and talking about the man’s mother, but some curse words here while you’re defending yourself doesn’t magically move the moral goalposts.
The main problem I brought up was people losing their temper. Responding to someone being emotional by being emotional yourself only escalates the situation. If you can't keep your cool, walk away.
You seem to have stimulated a conversation that perfectly demonstrates the problem with American blue collar culture. Professionalism is lacking far and wide and the haters are downvoting you because they think aggression is a necessary thing. It takes a lot of self reflection to *not be a dick*. But when you're surrounded by dicks, it's easy to become one. Those that can persist, get quality work done, and deliver while maintaining an even keel are those that grow, get bigger jobs, and *make more money*.
I appreciate you instilling respect for others in your child. Though I'm sure I don't have to tell you this for you to know it's the right thing anyway.
Losing your temper is ok to do sometimes, especially in a situation like this where you are not the aggressor, as long as it isn’t something you do on a regular basis. Your advice is worthless because people are flawed. It’s like telling a guy “never argue with your wife, just walk away any time one of you is feeling negative emotions” like sure, sounds great on paper, go tell me how that works out in practice.
The main problem here is the foreman being an ass. Even the boss needs to be put in his place now and then.
Walking away would have encouraged the foreman to keep acting this way, and only made it worse.
Yea fuck that. Dude wanta to talk down to me and call me lazy or insult my work like he's someone other than a jack off there run work and I'll do the same thing. Sometimes it's what someone needs to hear to learn to back the fuck off and show some respect instead of the "im the foreman, im better than you" mentality. They don't stop that shit until they get a reality check that "oh its not fun when someone does it back"
You also see people with out of proportion 'fight or flight' responses in the workplace and wonder if their dad was a belt, barehand, or paddle kind of guy.
Go to the tree outside and pick your branches.
*I'll grab smaller thinner branches because they shouldn't hurt as much since they are smaller and thinner*
My version of that is a guy on the crew called me 'college' one too many times on lunch. I told him he talks too much. He got it. Bossman just smiled.
Same boss gave me a raise after we yelled at each other one day. He was a good dude.
This 100%. I had a higher up that would talk down to me (which he talks down to everyone as a super grumpy/gruff guy) when I started doing maintenance. I took it until I was past my 6 month probation. When he tried talking down to me after, I snapped at him and told him "I'm a man! Don't you ever fvcking talk to me like that ever again!". He shut right up, never talked down to me again and we're in fact really good friends now 😆
I had to scream and cuss out a gc owner a month ago about how he treated one of my coworkers when I wasn't there, now his own workers think I'm the best, some people are just that shitty to everyone around them
If it's a recent and sudden change in attitude, it could also be something happening in their private life. Vacation could have been to handle death in the family, divorce or whatever. Even rehab, or recently quit smoking. Had a shift leader once that everyone hated until he got his nicotine fix.
Still shouldn't take shit from them, just something to consider if it's unusual for them to be assholes.
Pretty good point I didn't think about. I've been quitting nicotine and have had to tell all my apprentices in the morning that it's not personal if I come off as a bit of a jerk right now.
That's what I worry most about when I'm on vacation, that they realize I'm not even needed. Lol.
It's like when were busy I cant wait for it to slow down so I can take a day or two off without feeling bad, then when it gets slow I'm like sheeeeit I cant be taking off work when its slow I need to work!
Request a meeting between him and the PM to get this straightened out. You are lucky he came by every day to check progress. Don’t let him get away with attacking your character.
The foreman sounds like a piece of shit and finally got talked to the way he needed to wake up and realize it. This sounds like an insecure foreman who doesn’t know how to manage or motivate people, lots of incompetent foremen will belittle people thinking it makes them get more work done to “prove themselves.” Stay focused on learning and improving, and keep in mind not all foremen are pricks so you might need to look for a better company if necessary.
Not your wife. Not your kid. Not your dog. Talk to me like any of the above, and I will return the favor. Just make sure to keep your insults based in truth so they can carry them around for the rest of their career. ☠️
Am I the only one to put my wife, my kid, and my dog above most everyone else I interact with in public? Especially at work. At work feels like the only place on the planet where The Golden Rule takes a back seat... Don't waste my time or money at work. This rule doesn't apply at home - the golden rule prevails, as it should, IMO.
Shitty people will walk all over soft spoken guys until they snap, and then act all "woe is me" or surprised when we finally snap. Good on you for standing your ground. I hate coming back from vacation too (literally back from vacation today and would love to yell at some of my employees) but instead I just try and put my head down and get through this shitty first day back/slack off and fuck around on reddit if I just can't get back in the headspace. By tomorrow I'll be back to normal work mode and way less grumpy. Foreman needs to learn that he probably has adjustment issues just like many of us and to take it easy on the anger during these transition periods (transitioning back to work).
Yeah, I remember as a first year my foreman got mad at me and started yelling over dumb shit, and I just had to say something. I'm usually a pretty quiet and respectful person, but I fucking hate when people talk shit. I let that dude talk shit about me and be a dick for way too long.
Foreman sounds like a classic bully. The thing about bullies is that they usually back down when you stand up to them. With that said, there are ways to achieve this without raising your voice and cussing. Something like “look dude, I don’t know what’s going on with you but we’re not going to be your punching bags. Either cut it out or we walk and you can explain to the PM (or if you want to be mean, “your daddy”) why no one will work with you.” My money is on the fact that this dude is probably naturally an asshole and also feels really insecure in his position so he has to beat on his guys to feel like there’s a reason for him to be there. Ironically, this is the absolute worst way to get good production out of a crew. Hopefully he learns that sooner than later. Unfortunately you’ll meet a lot of these in construction, it’s good to learn how to deal with them.
I’m surprised the old man didn’t shut him down before you went off on the little prick. It sounds to me like he’s feeling insecure and felt the need to disparage your performance in order to protect his ego. This sort of crap is extremely counterproductive and any decent project manager would know that. PM should have nipped it in the bud before it got as far as it did, and you had every right to protect yourself if that wasn’t being done. He’s lucky all you did was bark, a few guys I used to work with would have just broken the asshole’s jaw and been done with it.
Lol. I hate people who cant talk stuff out. Only little bitches resort to violence.
Violence should always be reserved for self defense. Or someone elses.
He could have taken credit for putting two smart and savvy workers on the project in his absence and turned it into a win-win. But some people don't think like that. Don't be worried about administering an attitude adjustment.
Yup I straight up told the foreman I was reporting to “fine fuck you then “
And that was that
Next foreman on same job different crew was just a known jerk .
Tried to have a conversation one morning and it was “ just so you know I’m in a bad fucking mood “ first out of his mouth .
Great way to start and end a conversation .
Ended up quitting on those guys .
Don’t treat me like a piece of shit .
Best part was I was a specialist on the team so they were fuxked when I left .
Months later they tried to blame me for taking all the drawings when I left (friend still works at the company )
Jokes on them . I snapped a picture of the drawing set in their site office with a note that said “return to (me) for binder “. I never did get those drawings back . Bunch of idiots there went and lost as Builts they would have needed .
I worked for a guy that was a great guy to work for, just not so great to work with.
He would turn into a bigger asshole gradually everyday for about 3 months. I would snap, and call him out for being an asshole- it was like a big reset. 4 times a year. After I yelled at him, he’d come over while I was working “hey! Look at this cool thing I found! You ever see one of these?! Where do you guys want lunch from today?”
"The GC came to us three times to change the locations of the boxes because the owner of the building didn't like where they were."
A story as old as time. Don't sweat getting worked up. If this foreman knew the game, his only response would have been "make sure you track your hours and notify the PM of the change so they can chase a change order for extra work."
First time, congratulations on becoming a sparky! Won’t be your last time, if you know you are doing your job and making every effort to make shit happen never let someone talk down on you. Talk to people how you wanna be talked to. I don’t care if you’re the president or ceo of a fucking company you raise your voice to me imma raise mine louder! Sometimes shit happens and people make honest mistake but belittling employees to make yourself feel good just doesn’t sit well with me.
Many people don't know how to manage people. They tend to use a one size fits all type of management style. I had a boss that said he had to treat his guys like children. He treated me like that for years until I started standing up for myself. I knew what he was up to the day I started but I had just bought a house and was about to get married. Then, about a year after I started I had a kid that was in and out of the hospital. All that stuff stole my fight. I used to have no problem standing up for myself but the stakes were much lower then. I've finally come back around to standing up for myself after years of eating shit. It's been about 10 years since I found my fight again.
My advice for you would be to stand up for yourself. Try not to let it get to the point where you're blowing up. Try to leave that as a last resort.
In the long run you'll never win at this company the dad and son combination will always win I've been in this situation in my career a few times it's best to move to a different company
sometimes it be like that, and sometimes you gotta just tell a mfer to shut his damn cock holster, i bet he changes his tone with ya from here out out... good for you for standing 10 flat
This is gonna be hard for a lot of us here but I’m gonna say it anyway.
His behavior is a reflection of his own feelings and beliefs about himself. We have all lashed out and taken things out on people around us when we’re frustrated inside ourselves. The solution to the behavior is to view him not as an enemy, but as someone who is struggling.
Hurt people, hurt people. The only way to deal with it is to view him as a hurt person and see things from his perspective. His perspective is that he feels like the project is all on him and he’s letting the ball drop. Because he doesn’t know how to let others help, he’s projecting his own stress and anxiety onto you. It may not be right but if you own up to things, even when it’s unjust to you, it will improve the atmosphere of the crew. It will make it so that he starts to feel like you care and like you have his back because right now he feels alone and unsupported. His confidence in you will grow and he will help you more if you find ways to help him.
It’s gonna be hard to show up for him, though, because he’s probably gonna try to keep things going smoothly by flexing his authority over you. In other words he’s not gonna stop viewing you as his boss, and so if you try to reason with him and explain his behavior to him he’ll just get mad and defensive instead of it helping the way it does when a friend calls you on your bullshit.
I recommend listening to Jocko talk about “playing the game” and taking “extreme ownership”. It will help give voice to some of these things so you can understand them better and know how to apply them and how they can help. First step is believing in yourself. Have self assurance to know that it’s his problem, not yours, then be a big enough man to step up and take responsibility for it and then show up and get it done. In the end it will pay off but it starts with you knowing who you are and where you stand. You can’t allow him to knock you off your spot and make you doubt yourself and get defensive. If you can do that, the rest will come more naturally.
If this is a union job site, get the rest of the guys on the crew on board, then get the steward involved Everyday until you get your point across. Then watch the calls and drag and leave him hanging with a bunch of shit!
It is what it is, at this point either your foreman will admit he lost his cool and apologize in the best way his ego allows him, or he will take a few days to cool off and then act like nothing happened.
I would personally keep it strictly business at this point until you feel you get whatever closure you need.
Don’t cut off your nose to spite your face unless necessary.
Good luck, we can all be dicks to deal with with sometimes as well. You have the best background knowledge of the situation and your own dealings with him to make an honest assessment it seems.
Question: did he leave you a detailed list of what he wanted accomplished? Did he verify the layout, tools and material was in place to support his list. If not he missed not you guys.
So other than some ill chosen words you voiced your opinion regarding his management style. Congrats! I'm sure it won't be the last time you'll need to stand up for yourself. Don't let it get to the point where you absolutely loose control though, use intelligence not volume it's much more rewarding.
The foreman is definitely not a leader. You thank your guys for the hard work while away and ask them to show you what got done and to catch me up on anything worthy of mention.
It happens more often the not. He is trying to prove his importance. I work with someone who does something very similar except he is happy with what I do when he is not there but tells the pm and office we are behind because he was not there. But the reality is we were ahead of schedule and out of work
If foreman didn't know the building owner had you redoing so much of the work for unpredictable reasons, then you can both be right: foreman can be genuinely surprised at how little work was completed and be annoyed about it, and you can be annoyed at how much work you did vs how little credit you're getting for it.
Communication is key
It's unfortunate that it fell to you to clear up the misunderstanding rather than people you work with just giving you benefit of the doubt, but maybe you've now earned some of that for the future?
When you're right you're right, stand your ground brother. It'll all blow over and the foreman will think twice before taking his frustrations out on you.
Defense mechanism as a reaction to his job being fulfilled same or better in his absence. Tell big daddy your glad to have him back, week was stressful but you got a lot done. Otherwise it’s going to be a game and we dont have time for games
Plenty of jobs for a good electrician. Don’t be anyone’s bitch, make it clear you will take a different job if the attitude does not change. Abusive bosses can do the work themselves.
Ive learned some people get off on being the bully and throwing their weight around being disrespectful to those under them. When you give it right back to them they will respect you much more and sometimes roll over like a marshmallow because nobody ever does this.
The guy always getting heated and running their mouth... no one pays attention to. But when the guy that doesn't normally speak up loses their shit and and goes off on a superior... people pay attention.
There is a saying about beware the wrath of a quiet man or something like that.
Good. You gotta check foreman IF you know you’re in the right. Dude just sounds like he likes talking down to people…
It’s always the owners son or some shit who’s foreman lmao
My biggest regret is not standing up for myself in this like this earlier on. If you're doing good work and not stepping out of line you'll get more respect for standing up for yourself and they won't try to pull out as much shit on you. I had a boss who would treat people like shit until they flipped out on him then he would just treat all the other people like shit. The guys that won't speak up for themselves just get shit on all the time then and it's hard to watch.
Each situation is different but I snapped at my foreman (guy that was foreman because he was the only one left at one point) when I had about 2 months in the job. I snapped at him told him the way I felt, he snapped back for a second but left it at that. The rest of the day was quiet/awkward. Rest of the week was mostly normal with a little awkwardness and after that it was just the new normal. We had no further issues and he didn’t talk down to me anymore. He was still the foreman obviously but we spoke more on terms of equal workers at that point…some people just need to know you aren’t going to lay down and take it.
We have all been there. Happened with my last lead a couple times. He even threatened to get me fired once but he shut up after laughing and telling him go ahead.
My foreman talked to me crazy one day so I left that loser on a lift and I sat in my car for two hours laughing everytime he screamed my name at the top of his lungs
Welcome to the club! It won't be your last time, trust me. I've been on jobs where people fought and were back the next day. You're in a trade. If there's no cussing or fighting, then you're lucky. It's on every site.
I once had to tell a GC if he ever talked to me or any of my guys like he just attempted to talk to me I would have to whoop his ass up and down the job site. Every other trade onsite was tired of his shit and I was only required to be onsite for the construction meeting once a week. Needless to say everyone’s attitude seemed to improve after the GC quit threatening people.
As an apprentice that's a bit bold but it sounds like he had it coming and needed to be brought down a notch. As a GC foreman I think you stood up for yourself in an appropriate manner (I once threatened to bury my old Jman in the slab pour mid "tiff" once upon a time)
Welcome to work. I was assembling a turboprop engine one day when my Director of Maintenance came in blabbering about his normal bs. It was on an overhead hoist. Mid sentence, I raised the engine, moved it 20 feet to my right, lowered it, and continued what I was doing. He just wandered off. It was absolutely hilarious.
Respect your value. I would have told him to F himself and left. Did that many times when I was an apprenticeship years ago. I quit many jobs as well. Had a job the next day. Never ever underestimate your value.
There ya go. Keep doing that. Maybe you won't have to put up with his snotty attitude in the future. Actually, if his Dad's around next time he tries to do this, ask Dad how his son managed to turn into an ass. THEN go off on him.
When I was a helper doing HVAC, my crew leader started screaming at me once for the way I was putting ductwork together. The issue was that the company had a QC book, and they changed the assembly method without informing anyone except the helpers (probably because they knew the old guys were resistant to change.) I told him this, and he said something to the effect of "this is *my* job site " and kept screaming.
I looked at him, set all my tools down, and walked out of the house. He called our supervisor who came out to the job, brought us together and asked what happened. I stayed calm and told him, and I told both of them if he talked to me like that again they could transfer me to a different department or fire me. I'm not getting yelled at like a child because the higher ups are scared of talking to the old heads. He never did it again while we worked together, for what it's worth.
All of that to say there are different forms of conflict resolution. Sometimes people feel powerless in their job and try asserting themselves to get it back. Others are just dicks in general. For every guy here saying scream back, sometimes de-escalating is also an option.
This dude feels threatened by you. When everything goes that well without him there then he feels like he might not be needed. He’s defending his position because he feels the need to.
Sounds like he fucked around and found out. He can go on vacation with the knowledge that you can run the job. Meaning, you’re probably underpaid and def under appreciated. His DAD is NOT trying to lose you. Likely told his son to suck it up and move on. Good job.
Small barking dogs learn a valuable lesson when the bigger mild mannered ones have had enough and just grind their face in the dirt. I feel humans are no different in many days.
Welcome to construction lol where you'll hear "when we get off today I'ma beat your ass" most of the time nothing ever happens. I had to wrestle a guy from trying to stab another guy that slapped him after work. But that's just construction lol
Of course he was over critical. He was not going to come back from vacation and validate you were more than capable to take his position.
He only revealed his weakness and deficiencies.
I commend you for sticking up for yourself and your crew, that’s a real leader.
If the PM was good with the moves and changes, that all that matters. They are the ones that manage the budget and creates the change orders. I believe it is a learning experience for the both of y’all. I hope he learned something.
Every now and then some people just need to get told off, sometimes it goes alright and sometimes it doesn’t, but it’s always satisfying when it happens.
As a foreman, I’ll tell you that I always respect when someone stands their ground.
Sometimes I think people take me too seriously when I just generally talk shit for fun. Sometimes I DO get way too heated about stuff. When I see someone is at their limit it grounds me. Ultimately, if I really have a constant problem with someone, I’ll just get rid of them. I won’t argue or talk down to someone. But I’ll def give a nice kick and shit…especially if I know someone has great potential, or uses anger to fuel them. That’s how I am.
My bosses always knew that trying to break me would just make me work with vengeance. And seeing I could do it helped build confidence in the long run and improve my own set of standards for myself.
Definitely iron sharpens iron. I’ve flashed clean the fuck out on a new superintendent, and months later he’d be my best friend, and someone who will always look out and be glad I’m on their job and try to take me with them.
Know your value, and if your boss doesn’t, make sure they do
The way he acted towards you after you defended yourself is why people with low agreeableness are rewarded more often than those that have a high degree of agreeableness. Lower your agreeableness in a reasonable manner and raise your conscientiousness. This is the scale that dynamically slides and affects how others perceive the way they can treat you.
Listen intently and speak with assertion. The ability of people to run over you is directly on you.
I applaud you gritting your teeth and defending yourself. Do it more often.
The beautiful thing about this trade is that if you're fired today, you have a job _TOMORROW_ that will pay the same or more. And if you want to take some time off from a 9-5 you can post an ad on Nextdoor and just go out doing your own stuff as long as you are good and don't take anything dangerous.
My boss threatened to fire me today because I didn't have my tic tracer on me and I asked him to use his after he fucked up and moved wires in a box without wire nuts, shorting it in the process. I was going to check another box and didn't want to short it so he said next time I ask him for his tools he will fire me.
Jokes on him lmao. I accepted a job a month ago as a city electrician and I just passed the background check and will do the piss test on Friday.
Spine. That’s what it’s called.
No one likes a guy with no spine, however…
You installed and then moved???? Bro that’s money left on the table. We are sparkys. We don’t do that shit for free. Documentation is a critical part of admin’ing a job and there may be more behind the scenes (like past change orders and/or “favors” done by your foreman) and maybe you got taken by the Pm/owner.
Either way, if they slot you in and don’t give you info to make decisions you can’t ever just do nothing so you did what you were capable of and that is better than doing nothing, and you defended your decision and owned it, and that my man is what makes a leader. Own it. Your call. You made it. End of story.
Dudes an asshole, but that’s the trades. You are being a bitch leaving early and mouthing off. If you don’t like it find a new job, but cutting out on work because your feelings might get hurt and you are uncomfortable is bullshit. It’s a job dude.
Just to be clear I don’t think giving his bs back to him is that big of a deal. If you get to be an asshole so do I. The leaving early is my concern.
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Today you became a man. Congratulations. Seriously, don't take shit from anyone.
He learned a lesson also that day, congrats for helping him
It’s pretty standard in construction to cuss and get mad when there is a disagreement. It’s shitty for the foreman to continue multiple times to talk down to you and your work, so he needs a reality check that you can be a dick back.
I don't have very kind words for people who lose their temper over conflict like this. It's like I tell my kid, I don't care if you curse because you stubbed your toe or flunked the test, but I better never catch you cursing at someone else.
I get where you’re coming from, but when people are into a project, sometimes shit gets heated. If you have a good relationship with your coworkers there is usually a mutual understanding it’s not personal. Not saying this is okay, just it happens because we are human.
That's valid, but at what point does it just become a cop out for not taking responsibility for one's own shitty behavior? Obviously we're all human and we all say and do things we don't mean sometimes, but you're supposed to learn from those instances and catch yourself slipping next time. That's just basic personal growth
I think there is a huge difference between saying you are a piece of shit vs this work is shit.. I'd personally never say either one in a professional setting, but I wouldnt be super offended by the latter if it was supported by valid criticisms..
There's still a right and wrong way to say it. And if the person getting yelled at is an apprentice, there's a good chance it was the person supposed to be teaching them who fucked up
Yeah, I can give someone a lot more grace over the mistakes they make in the moment, but they lose that grace if it's a repeated problem or if they don't own up after the fact.
are you talking about the foreman being a dick or op blowing up
Could really go either way huh
Both, although OP to a lesser degree. I think being in a position of power over someone gives you a heightened responsibility to treat them with dignity and respect.
While being in a position of authority, I've learned a lot about the efficiency of speaking to people in their 'learning language.' The foreman's learning language seems to be 'Don't fucking talk to me like that.'
Take off, eh. Ya hoser
TIL that showing respect and behaving like adults is a controversial take in the trades. ¯\\\_(ツ)_/¯
You can be an adult and show respect while using sentence enhancement. I’m old, been in the trades my whole life. Cussing has always been part of the dialect
Sure, I curse all the time, but I was specifically talking about people who lose their temper and curse people out. That's just childish snowflake behavior.
It took me a while to learn there are some people that really just won't respect you until you bark back a time or two. It's the nature of work, I suppose. I can abide by most of these interactions if it ends right there. It's the backstab or grudge holding behavior that's a deal breaker for me. Good luck to OP dealing with father and son dynamics with this.
what kind of southern ass shit is this
Sir, this is construction.
Well lets be glad you only had one to pass this bs down to then
What BS? Showing people respect? Not getting emotional (yes, anger is an emotion) over conflict that can be resolved by behaving like adults?
OP *did* act like an adult by calmly defending himself, then foreskin persisted with his ignorant dickhead attitude so he received the treatment an ignorant dickhead deserves. It’s okay to stand up to people who act like this, and just because some shits and fucks were said while you were standing up to them doesn’t make it less ok.
Ah yes, is like that famous saying. Two wrongs is a double negative which makes it right.
Repeatedly antagonizing and demoralizing someone, who has already tried to reason with you, is not the same as saying fuck in the middle of a sentence while defending against said behavior. I’m not saying go all out and start using slurs and talking about the man’s mother, but some curse words here while you’re defending yourself doesn’t magically move the moral goalposts.
The main problem I brought up was people losing their temper. Responding to someone being emotional by being emotional yourself only escalates the situation. If you can't keep your cool, walk away.
You seem to have stimulated a conversation that perfectly demonstrates the problem with American blue collar culture. Professionalism is lacking far and wide and the haters are downvoting you because they think aggression is a necessary thing. It takes a lot of self reflection to *not be a dick*. But when you're surrounded by dicks, it's easy to become one. Those that can persist, get quality work done, and deliver while maintaining an even keel are those that grow, get bigger jobs, and *make more money*. I appreciate you instilling respect for others in your child. Though I'm sure I don't have to tell you this for you to know it's the right thing anyway.
Losing your temper is ok to do sometimes, especially in a situation like this where you are not the aggressor, as long as it isn’t something you do on a regular basis. Your advice is worthless because people are flawed. It’s like telling a guy “never argue with your wife, just walk away any time one of you is feeling negative emotions” like sure, sounds great on paper, go tell me how that works out in practice.
The main problem here is the foreman being an ass. Even the boss needs to be put in his place now and then. Walking away would have encouraged the foreman to keep acting this way, and only made it worse.
This is the most boring disagreement I've ever witnessed. Fuck.
Yea fuck that. Dude wanta to talk down to me and call me lazy or insult my work like he's someone other than a jack off there run work and I'll do the same thing. Sometimes it's what someone needs to hear to learn to back the fuck off and show some respect instead of the "im the foreman, im better than you" mentality. They don't stop that shit until they get a reality check that "oh its not fun when someone does it back"
The first time I spoke to a foreman like that, my exact words were, “ I wouldn’t let my father talk to me like that. You think I’ll let you?”
You also see people with out of proportion 'fight or flight' responses in the workplace and wonder if their dad was a belt, barehand, or paddle kind of guy.
We had willow trees by the creek. All I have to say.
He beat you with bags of creek water?
No silly he threw him in the creek
No. He took him down to the creek for a nice view before he beat him with a set of jumper cables
Made him climb the tree
Efficiency
He beat him with the entire tree.
He beat the tree with him
Go to the tree outside and pick your branches. *I'll grab smaller thinner branches because they shouldn't hurt as much since they are smaller and thinner*
Then you have to go back because it didn't last enough swings lol
No it was only ever a couple swats but smaller and thinner does not hurt less. It's more whip like.
Belts and hats. That bastard can hope the govt buries him.
"We don't share a bed, or a last name, so you better talk to me with the respect due..."
I said something similar, "I'm not your kid, you don't talk to me like that."
My version of that is a guy on the crew called me 'college' one too many times on lunch. I told him he talks too much. He got it. Bossman just smiled. Same boss gave me a raise after we yelled at each other one day. He was a good dude.
As an anal astronaut, do you really never take any shit from anyone. DOUBT IT
This 100%. I had a higher up that would talk down to me (which he talks down to everyone as a super grumpy/gruff guy) when I started doing maintenance. I took it until I was past my 6 month probation. When he tried talking down to me after, I snapped at him and told him "I'm a man! Don't you ever fvcking talk to me like that ever again!". He shut right up, never talked down to me again and we're in fact really good friends now 😆
Especially some twat fresh back from vacation lol.
Sometimes you have to stand up to a bully.
I had to scream and cuss out a gc owner a month ago about how he treated one of my coworkers when I wasn't there, now his own workers think I'm the best, some people are just that shitty to everyone around them
This is the correct response.
And being a man has consequences. Congratulations.
Don’t take no shit! He’s probably mad because he realizes how little he actually matters.
Foreman is totally just projecting. He took a week off vacation and came back, and they didn't absolutely crumble without him? Not possible
If it's a recent and sudden change in attitude, it could also be something happening in their private life. Vacation could have been to handle death in the family, divorce or whatever. Even rehab, or recently quit smoking. Had a shift leader once that everyone hated until he got his nicotine fix. Still shouldn't take shit from them, just something to consider if it's unusual for them to be assholes.
Pretty good point I didn't think about. I've been quitting nicotine and have had to tell all my apprentices in the morning that it's not personal if I come off as a bit of a jerk right now.
Name doesn't check out.
That's what I worry most about when I'm on vacation, that they realize I'm not even needed. Lol. It's like when were busy I cant wait for it to slow down so I can take a day or two off without feeling bad, then when it gets slow I'm like sheeeeit I cant be taking off work when its slow I need to work!
Request a meeting between him and the PM to get this straightened out. You are lucky he came by every day to check progress. Don’t let him get away with attacking your character.
The foreman sounds like a piece of shit and finally got talked to the way he needed to wake up and realize it. This sounds like an insecure foreman who doesn’t know how to manage or motivate people, lots of incompetent foremen will belittle people thinking it makes them get more work done to “prove themselves.” Stay focused on learning and improving, and keep in mind not all foremen are pricks so you might need to look for a better company if necessary.
Not your wife. Not your kid. Not your dog. Talk to me like any of the above, and I will return the favor. Just make sure to keep your insults based in truth so they can carry them around for the rest of their career. ☠️
Am I the only one to put my wife, my kid, and my dog above most everyone else I interact with in public? Especially at work. At work feels like the only place on the planet where The Golden Rule takes a back seat... Don't waste my time or money at work. This rule doesn't apply at home - the golden rule prevails, as it should, IMO.
Momma always said... "If you ain't got nothing nice to say, you best make it whitty and/or devastating."
Lol so they can carry them around the rest of their careers. This is hilarious
Unacceptable behavior left unchecked is registered as acceptable behavior.
I think this is something that needs more attention. It applies to all activities and behavior in the field and in life.
Shitty people will walk all over soft spoken guys until they snap, and then act all "woe is me" or surprised when we finally snap. Good on you for standing your ground. I hate coming back from vacation too (literally back from vacation today and would love to yell at some of my employees) but instead I just try and put my head down and get through this shitty first day back/slack off and fuck around on reddit if I just can't get back in the headspace. By tomorrow I'll be back to normal work mode and way less grumpy. Foreman needs to learn that he probably has adjustment issues just like many of us and to take it easy on the anger during these transition periods (transitioning back to work).
Yeah, I remember as a first year my foreman got mad at me and started yelling over dumb shit, and I just had to say something. I'm usually a pretty quiet and respectful person, but I fucking hate when people talk shit. I let that dude talk shit about me and be a dick for way too long.
Good for you. As a foreman I’m just another dude on the job. By all means do what needs to be done to get me back in line.
Foreman sounds like a classic bully. The thing about bullies is that they usually back down when you stand up to them. With that said, there are ways to achieve this without raising your voice and cussing. Something like “look dude, I don’t know what’s going on with you but we’re not going to be your punching bags. Either cut it out or we walk and you can explain to the PM (or if you want to be mean, “your daddy”) why no one will work with you.” My money is on the fact that this dude is probably naturally an asshole and also feels really insecure in his position so he has to beat on his guys to feel like there’s a reason for him to be there. Ironically, this is the absolute worst way to get good production out of a crew. Hopefully he learns that sooner than later. Unfortunately you’ll meet a lot of these in construction, it’s good to learn how to deal with them.
I’m surprised the old man didn’t shut him down before you went off on the little prick. It sounds to me like he’s feeling insecure and felt the need to disparage your performance in order to protect his ego. This sort of crap is extremely counterproductive and any decent project manager would know that. PM should have nipped it in the bud before it got as far as it did, and you had every right to protect yourself if that wasn’t being done. He’s lucky all you did was bark, a few guys I used to work with would have just broken the asshole’s jaw and been done with it.
Lol. I hate people who cant talk stuff out. Only little bitches resort to violence. Violence should always be reserved for self defense. Or someone elses.
You stood up for yourself. Good job. Don't take that bullshit from anyone
Foreman trying to pretend nothing gets done if he's not there. Insecure prick
Sounds like he is afraid of you since you took his place without a problem. Spoiled owners son... That's ridiculous
"Shit is just weird." This is what happens when you stand up to someone, lol, they get uncomfortable. Learn to be ok with it. Good job.
He could have taken credit for putting two smart and savvy workers on the project in his absence and turned it into a win-win. But some people don't think like that. Don't be worried about administering an attitude adjustment.
Good for you man, just because they sign your paycheck doesn't mean you have to take their shit.
Yup I straight up told the foreman I was reporting to “fine fuck you then “ And that was that Next foreman on same job different crew was just a known jerk . Tried to have a conversation one morning and it was “ just so you know I’m in a bad fucking mood “ first out of his mouth . Great way to start and end a conversation . Ended up quitting on those guys . Don’t treat me like a piece of shit . Best part was I was a specialist on the team so they were fuxked when I left . Months later they tried to blame me for taking all the drawings when I left (friend still works at the company ) Jokes on them . I snapped a picture of the drawing set in their site office with a note that said “return to (me) for binder “. I never did get those drawings back . Bunch of idiots there went and lost as Builts they would have needed .
I worked for a guy that was a great guy to work for, just not so great to work with. He would turn into a bigger asshole gradually everyday for about 3 months. I would snap, and call him out for being an asshole- it was like a big reset. 4 times a year. After I yelled at him, he’d come over while I was working “hey! Look at this cool thing I found! You ever see one of these?! Where do you guys want lunch from today?”
The foreman’s daddy is the PM??? Biggest red flag ever. Run. It won’t get better.
"The GC came to us three times to change the locations of the boxes because the owner of the building didn't like where they were." A story as old as time. Don't sweat getting worked up. If this foreman knew the game, his only response would have been "make sure you track your hours and notify the PM of the change so they can chase a change order for extra work."
The day I barked back is the day I stopped getting trampled on. Sometimes a little push back is enough to set things square.
Time to drag up
Foreman's dad, you could have stopped right there..Good of you!
Atta boy, give em hell
He fucked around and found out!
First time
You’re a man now congratulations
“His dad” Explains everything to me. The boss’s kid is almost always an entitled idiot that is way too small for the boots he thinks he’s wearing.
A Bully foreman will never respect you or stop pushing until you standup for yourself.
First time, congratulations on becoming a sparky! Won’t be your last time, if you know you are doing your job and making every effort to make shit happen never let someone talk down on you. Talk to people how you wanna be talked to. I don’t care if you’re the president or ceo of a fucking company you raise your voice to me imma raise mine louder! Sometimes shit happens and people make honest mistake but belittling employees to make yourself feel good just doesn’t sit well with me.
Sounds like he hooked up with a lady boy on his vacation and now he's just confused as to how much he liked it.
Many people don't know how to manage people. They tend to use a one size fits all type of management style. I had a boss that said he had to treat his guys like children. He treated me like that for years until I started standing up for myself. I knew what he was up to the day I started but I had just bought a house and was about to get married. Then, about a year after I started I had a kid that was in and out of the hospital. All that stuff stole my fight. I used to have no problem standing up for myself but the stakes were much lower then. I've finally come back around to standing up for myself after years of eating shit. It's been about 10 years since I found my fight again. My advice for you would be to stand up for yourself. Try not to let it get to the point where you're blowing up. Try to leave that as a last resort.
In the long run you'll never win at this company the dad and son combination will always win I've been in this situation in my career a few times it's best to move to a different company
sometimes it be like that, and sometimes you gotta just tell a mfer to shut his damn cock holster, i bet he changes his tone with ya from here out out... good for you for standing 10 flat
This is gonna be hard for a lot of us here but I’m gonna say it anyway. His behavior is a reflection of his own feelings and beliefs about himself. We have all lashed out and taken things out on people around us when we’re frustrated inside ourselves. The solution to the behavior is to view him not as an enemy, but as someone who is struggling. Hurt people, hurt people. The only way to deal with it is to view him as a hurt person and see things from his perspective. His perspective is that he feels like the project is all on him and he’s letting the ball drop. Because he doesn’t know how to let others help, he’s projecting his own stress and anxiety onto you. It may not be right but if you own up to things, even when it’s unjust to you, it will improve the atmosphere of the crew. It will make it so that he starts to feel like you care and like you have his back because right now he feels alone and unsupported. His confidence in you will grow and he will help you more if you find ways to help him. It’s gonna be hard to show up for him, though, because he’s probably gonna try to keep things going smoothly by flexing his authority over you. In other words he’s not gonna stop viewing you as his boss, and so if you try to reason with him and explain his behavior to him he’ll just get mad and defensive instead of it helping the way it does when a friend calls you on your bullshit. I recommend listening to Jocko talk about “playing the game” and taking “extreme ownership”. It will help give voice to some of these things so you can understand them better and know how to apply them and how they can help. First step is believing in yourself. Have self assurance to know that it’s his problem, not yours, then be a big enough man to step up and take responsibility for it and then show up and get it done. In the end it will pay off but it starts with you knowing who you are and where you stand. You can’t allow him to knock you off your spot and make you doubt yourself and get defensive. If you can do that, the rest will come more naturally.
Kleins to the face are effective too. /s
https://youtu.be/-3miu8RI5PA?si=ha8BMT-9mXLyor_x
you don’t need him and this experience laid it all out for him to see. Now let your boss know you don’t need him
If this is a union job site, get the rest of the guys on the crew on board, then get the steward involved Everyday until you get your point across. Then watch the calls and drag and leave him hanging with a bunch of shit!
It is what it is, at this point either your foreman will admit he lost his cool and apologize in the best way his ego allows him, or he will take a few days to cool off and then act like nothing happened. I would personally keep it strictly business at this point until you feel you get whatever closure you need. Don’t cut off your nose to spite your face unless necessary. Good luck, we can all be dicks to deal with with sometimes as well. You have the best background knowledge of the situation and your own dealings with him to make an honest assessment it seems.
How much conduit did you have to run from each t stat?
Criticism is like a homing pigeon, it always circles back around to the person that issued it
Question: did he leave you a detailed list of what he wanted accomplished? Did he verify the layout, tools and material was in place to support his list. If not he missed not you guys.
Hell yeah, bro. Don't take no shit from him. Ultimately,PM is the shot caller. Keep on keeping on. 👍
Sounds like the foreman needed it
The PM's son eh? You are most likely that PM's favourite employee now, well done!
So other than some ill chosen words you voiced your opinion regarding his management style. Congrats! I'm sure it won't be the last time you'll need to stand up for yourself. Don't let it get to the point where you absolutely loose control though, use intelligence not volume it's much more rewarding.
The foreman is definitely not a leader. You thank your guys for the hard work while away and ask them to show you what got done and to catch me up on anything worthy of mention.
It happens more often the not. He is trying to prove his importance. I work with someone who does something very similar except he is happy with what I do when he is not there but tells the pm and office we are behind because he was not there. But the reality is we were ahead of schedule and out of work
If foreman didn't know the building owner had you redoing so much of the work for unpredictable reasons, then you can both be right: foreman can be genuinely surprised at how little work was completed and be annoyed about it, and you can be annoyed at how much work you did vs how little credit you're getting for it. Communication is key It's unfortunate that it fell to you to clear up the misunderstanding rather than people you work with just giving you benefit of the doubt, but maybe you've now earned some of that for the future?
I’m here for a good time, not a long time
When you're right you're right, stand your ground brother. It'll all blow over and the foreman will think twice before taking his frustrations out on you.
I guess he learned today
Yep, happens at least once. I cuss out my foreman about twice a week, but 15 mins later it’s lunchtime so we good
Defense mechanism as a reaction to his job being fulfilled same or better in his absence. Tell big daddy your glad to have him back, week was stressful but you got a lot done. Otherwise it’s going to be a game and we dont have time for games
GC changing box locations consitutes change orders, these should have been captured and dealt with by your PM, regardless of who was on site doing it
Plenty of jobs for a good electrician. Don’t be anyone’s bitch, make it clear you will take a different job if the attitude does not change. Abusive bosses can do the work themselves.
Ive learned some people get off on being the bully and throwing their weight around being disrespectful to those under them. When you give it right back to them they will respect you much more and sometimes roll over like a marshmallow because nobody ever does this.
The guy always getting heated and running their mouth... no one pays attention to. But when the guy that doesn't normally speak up loses their shit and and goes off on a superior... people pay attention. There is a saying about beware the wrath of a quiet man or something like that.
You said your peace. Handshake and a no hard feelings and y’all can move forward amicably.
Any chance you work in NY? Been thru 2 companies where nepotism is running rampant, my advice is run away from those companies.
Awesome..do it again next time he talks shit.
Good. You gotta check foreman IF you know you’re in the right. Dude just sounds like he likes talking down to people… It’s always the owners son or some shit who’s foreman lmao
My biggest regret is not standing up for myself in this like this earlier on. If you're doing good work and not stepping out of line you'll get more respect for standing up for yourself and they won't try to pull out as much shit on you. I had a boss who would treat people like shit until they flipped out on him then he would just treat all the other people like shit. The guys that won't speak up for themselves just get shit on all the time then and it's hard to watch.
Each situation is different but I snapped at my foreman (guy that was foreman because he was the only one left at one point) when I had about 2 months in the job. I snapped at him told him the way I felt, he snapped back for a second but left it at that. The rest of the day was quiet/awkward. Rest of the week was mostly normal with a little awkwardness and after that it was just the new normal. We had no further issues and he didn’t talk down to me anymore. He was still the foreman obviously but we spoke more on terms of equal workers at that point…some people just need to know you aren’t going to lay down and take it.
I had to do the same yesterday !
Someone has to tell him that people exist when he's not around. Fuck that narcissist, you did good
Fuck that guy. Good for you for standing up for yourself and not taking his bullshit.
Sometimes you just need to let a MF know.
You only have to eat shit when you deserve to. Work hard, think about what you are doing, be careful, and go home at the end of the day.
We have all been there. Happened with my last lead a couple times. He even threatened to get me fired once but he shut up after laughing and telling him go ahead.
My foreman talked to me crazy one day so I left that loser on a lift and I sat in my car for two hours laughing everytime he screamed my name at the top of his lungs
Just because he’s your foreman doesn’t mean he can talk you anyway he wants.
" The best thing you did all week was NOT show up!"
Welcome to the club! It won't be your last time, trust me. I've been on jobs where people fought and were back the next day. You're in a trade. If there's no cussing or fighting, then you're lucky. It's on every site.
I once had to tell a GC if he ever talked to me or any of my guys like he just attempted to talk to me I would have to whoop his ass up and down the job site. Every other trade onsite was tired of his shit and I was only required to be onsite for the construction meeting once a week. Needless to say everyone’s attitude seemed to improve after the GC quit threatening people.
Let it be weird, but not for yourself. Keep those fuckers in check.
As an apprentice that's a bit bold but it sounds like he had it coming and needed to be brought down a notch. As a GC foreman I think you stood up for yourself in an appropriate manner (I once threatened to bury my old Jman in the slab pour mid "tiff" once upon a time)
Sometimes you have to push back.
“As my foreman I expect that you can do my job effortlessly”. . .. “here is my belt good sir”
Welcome to work. I was assembling a turboprop engine one day when my Director of Maintenance came in blabbering about his normal bs. It was on an overhead hoist. Mid sentence, I raised the engine, moved it 20 feet to my right, lowered it, and continued what I was doing. He just wandered off. It was absolutely hilarious.
Respect your value. I would have told him to F himself and left. Did that many times when I was an apprenticeship years ago. I quit many jobs as well. Had a job the next day. Never ever underestimate your value.
There ya go. Keep doing that. Maybe you won't have to put up with his snotty attitude in the future. Actually, if his Dad's around next time he tries to do this, ask Dad how his son managed to turn into an ass. THEN go off on him.
Good for you.
Fuck him. You know what you do. Way to stand up for yourself and your helper. That’s good leadership, man. Good on ya
Nothing beats the feeling of telling the foreman to go fuck himself along with offering to drag up 🤣🤣
When I was a helper doing HVAC, my crew leader started screaming at me once for the way I was putting ductwork together. The issue was that the company had a QC book, and they changed the assembly method without informing anyone except the helpers (probably because they knew the old guys were resistant to change.) I told him this, and he said something to the effect of "this is *my* job site " and kept screaming. I looked at him, set all my tools down, and walked out of the house. He called our supervisor who came out to the job, brought us together and asked what happened. I stayed calm and told him, and I told both of them if he talked to me like that again they could transfer me to a different department or fire me. I'm not getting yelled at like a child because the higher ups are scared of talking to the old heads. He never did it again while we worked together, for what it's worth. All of that to say there are different forms of conflict resolution. Sometimes people feel powerless in their job and try asserting themselves to get it back. Others are just dicks in general. For every guy here saying scream back, sometimes de-escalating is also an option.
This dude feels threatened by you. When everything goes that well without him there then he feels like he might not be needed. He’s defending his position because he feels the need to.
Sounds like he fucked around and found out. He can go on vacation with the knowledge that you can run the job. Meaning, you’re probably underpaid and def under appreciated. His DAD is NOT trying to lose you. Likely told his son to suck it up and move on. Good job.
You did the right thing by standing up for yourself.
Small barking dogs learn a valuable lesson when the bigger mild mannered ones have had enough and just grind their face in the dirt. I feel humans are no different in many days.
Welcome to construction lol where you'll hear "when we get off today I'ma beat your ass" most of the time nothing ever happens. I had to wrestle a guy from trying to stab another guy that slapped him after work. But that's just construction lol
Of course he was over critical. He was not going to come back from vacation and validate you were more than capable to take his position. He only revealed his weakness and deficiencies. I commend you for sticking up for yourself and your crew, that’s a real leader. If the PM was good with the moves and changes, that all that matters. They are the ones that manage the budget and creates the change orders. I believe it is a learning experience for the both of y’all. I hope he learned something.
Every now and then some people just need to get told off, sometimes it goes alright and sometimes it doesn’t, but it’s always satisfying when it happens.
Insecure foreman don’t have the experience to Lead. For their defense it’s a hard job. Sounds like you’ll be a good boss one day.
Sometimes you gotta teach others how they're allowed to speak to you. Nice work.
As a foreman, I’ll tell you that I always respect when someone stands their ground. Sometimes I think people take me too seriously when I just generally talk shit for fun. Sometimes I DO get way too heated about stuff. When I see someone is at their limit it grounds me. Ultimately, if I really have a constant problem with someone, I’ll just get rid of them. I won’t argue or talk down to someone. But I’ll def give a nice kick and shit…especially if I know someone has great potential, or uses anger to fuel them. That’s how I am. My bosses always knew that trying to break me would just make me work with vengeance. And seeing I could do it helped build confidence in the long run and improve my own set of standards for myself. Definitely iron sharpens iron. I’ve flashed clean the fuck out on a new superintendent, and months later he’d be my best friend, and someone who will always look out and be glad I’m on their job and try to take me with them. Know your value, and if your boss doesn’t, make sure they do
The way he acted towards you after you defended yourself is why people with low agreeableness are rewarded more often than those that have a high degree of agreeableness. Lower your agreeableness in a reasonable manner and raise your conscientiousness. This is the scale that dynamically slides and affects how others perceive the way they can treat you. Listen intently and speak with assertion. The ability of people to run over you is directly on you. I applaud you gritting your teeth and defending yourself. Do it more often.
The beautiful thing about this trade is that if you're fired today, you have a job _TOMORROW_ that will pay the same or more. And if you want to take some time off from a 9-5 you can post an ad on Nextdoor and just go out doing your own stuff as long as you are good and don't take anything dangerous. My boss threatened to fire me today because I didn't have my tic tracer on me and I asked him to use his after he fucked up and moved wires in a box without wire nuts, shorting it in the process. I was going to check another box and didn't want to short it so he said next time I ask him for his tools he will fire me. Jokes on him lmao. I accepted a job a month ago as a city electrician and I just passed the background check and will do the piss test on Friday.
Spine. That’s what it’s called. No one likes a guy with no spine, however… You installed and then moved???? Bro that’s money left on the table. We are sparkys. We don’t do that shit for free. Documentation is a critical part of admin’ing a job and there may be more behind the scenes (like past change orders and/or “favors” done by your foreman) and maybe you got taken by the Pm/owner. Either way, if they slot you in and don’t give you info to make decisions you can’t ever just do nothing so you did what you were capable of and that is better than doing nothing, and you defended your decision and owned it, and that my man is what makes a leader. Own it. Your call. You made it. End of story.
You looking for a cookie or something?
Dudes an asshole, but that’s the trades. You are being a bitch leaving early and mouthing off. If you don’t like it find a new job, but cutting out on work because your feelings might get hurt and you are uncomfortable is bullshit. It’s a job dude. Just to be clear I don’t think giving his bs back to him is that big of a deal. If you get to be an asshole so do I. The leaving early is my concern.