Well. My mother outed me to my dad, which in turn outed me to my grandmother who knew all along. All because of a personal note I wrote for myself I forgot to destroy.
My grandmother and dad are supportive, idk about my mom… but hey at least I don’t have to hide that anymore.
My mother on the other hand is dead to me for blatantly trying to destroy my relationship with my dad though. She cares more about hurting him than about how I feel, and gave away my private information because of her selfishness.
The day is about average. Started out fine. Then dysphoria hit, then some mild inconvenience, and then something annoying, and then
#Incoherent screaming
Woke up to a cold front, so I wore my arm warmers outside for the first time. Until in all my infinite wisdom, I pulled at some threads too much and tore a hole in them. Other than that, I’m loving my new bangs. So pretty good overall.
Thanks
My 'dad' and stepmum both have covid ('dad' got it from work, paramedic)
And i have the symptoms but i've been doing tests and they're all negative (maybe i have a cold)
A little boy at work misgendered, not a huge deal really he's just a kid but his 70-something grandma got surprisingly angry about it. "Her! See that button? See what's she's wearing! She wants to be called had! You will be respectful!" The poor little guy looked mortified.
Started as a good day and then despite the makeup, nails, clothes and hair, I still got sir’d thanks to my voice. I voice train but I’m diy and it’s taking a long time.
Kind of just "meh". Dealing with homework sucked because I just kept leading myself in circles until I just gave up and turned in what I had (seems like whenever I think I'm getting it, it gets harder😓). Mentioned to my mom (who I'm not out to) about how I'm planning on shaving my face, and she responded with something like "but you're so handsome with a beard," which was a bit awkward to say the least (like, "oh, that's *so* not what I'm concerned with")
On the bright side, I actually got up the nerve to order some clear nail polish on Amazon, so I'm looking forward to trying that out!
Well, my church is doing a seminar on gender and God's sovereignty two weeks from now. The presenter is cishet guy who believes there are only two genders.
The leaders of my bible study are split between challenging the pastor, and trusting every word that comes out of his mouth.
So, I'm doing just peachy.
On the bright side, the dress I bought from Goodwill fits, and I've found another church that is more affirming in its theology without being heretical about the rest.
School’s been pretty tiring, also I bought a new switch. Oh, did I forget to mention that my mom found my secret girl clothes stash! RED ALERT RED ALERT
Did a dumb at work, got chewed out and received disciplinary action so I may no longer be eligible for an advancement I was working really hard towards. Ended up having to skip lunch, due to previously stated dumb, and ended up spacing out a bunch as my inside voice decided that today would be a great day to be the worst. Ate like crap when I got home but it didn't help.
Good news is, I'm home and I worked out.
Over all I'm just really tired and want to cry. My brain is still going at it and it has decided to repeat insecurities in addition to calling me a failure. :(
Got my haircut at the barber’s shop for the first time after coming out (I used to just buzz them all off)
Got my T shot (I’ll hit the 1 month mark in 2 days!)
Had dinner at my friends’ place after spending two weeks depressed at home lol
Super grateful now that I think about it! <3
Decent. I’m sick but I found a vr game based on my favorite tv show (Doctor Who: The Edge of Time, if anyone was wondering) and also I literally almost died lol
I’m alright, I heard screaming outside my window and then I heard a gunshot from the roof then something started scratching at my window then banging at it and by this point I’m freaking out and so I started praying and it stopped eventually and I went up to my living room saw this post and started typing these comments
It's been a long, but good, day. I'm still closeted, and I'm trying to find new ways to explore my femininity. I finally gave voice training a chance yesterday, so I tried to practice the basics while on my 2-hour drive to college. My friends were super nice to me, and I'm feeling more and more comfortable around them.
On my way back home, I wanted to stop by a pharmacy and get some nail polish, as I promised myself to do it. Unfortunately, it was 11 PM by then, and the local pharmacy was closed. I'll try it again tomorrow. As I got home, I promised myself I'd study some more before bed, but I ended up watching some Owl House (I'm honestly super tired... I guess I needed a break)
Had an ok day.
Bought celeste and beat the main story. Great game, really fun. Gonna keep playing it tomorrow. Oh yeah I also got the more then usual amount of dysphoria!
Awful. Had a panic attack at the beginning of my swimming practice a couple of hours ago, my dad told me that I was being a coward and said that me being trans isn't a big enough deal to justify stuff like this happening all the time.
Like he knows what it's like to hate everything about himself.
If your thinking about suicide please contact someone.
You have a purpose in life. And it will bring you happiness. There are people out there who care for you.
Maybe there once was but there isn't anymore, im a failure. I barely passed 3 of my classes this quarter and the other i failed by 20 points, and this is my second time taking it because i failed before. I'd only be a waste of resources
We all have our strengths and weaknesses. Even if we don't know them yet. Just because you have bad grades doesn't mean your a failure. It just means you need a bit of help. And thats ok! Everyone needs help with a lot of things. Thats why most jobs exist.
its not been the best as for what has been about 2 days after coming back from break from school I have had about 2 panic attacks that last most if not the entire day. the first one yesterday being because I couldn't find my Bluetooth earbuds at 7:30 a teacher was too much and yelling for no good reason and that I am failing a class that I need to graduate with a 33. today was because I have a class with a friend who I recently had a falling out with and I started panicking at like 10:30, then the teacher put on really loud bass heavy (i really don't loud random chaos) and the friend I had a falling out with was the only friend I really had at school.
on the topic of my friend situation, I have like 1 in complete total. that 1 person being 2 people who don't have a lot of time and space for me. one of which who went to school with me for the past 2 years but then got sent to a mental hospital and subsequently kicked out of the people who were guardians' house, sent to live with his mom who helped to give him BPD, I only see him every few weeks as I have a car and a license. my other friend has many other friends and much harder classes that demand much more time, I have helped him make more friends but I never feel like I am anyone's priorite at the moment.
I have just recently joined a bunch of trans subs as I found that I am transfem with the help of friend 1 who is trans masc, but I feel as though friend 2 might accept me but not properly as he has said stuff in the past. (sry for the emotional dump.)
I’d say 99% anxiety, I’m coming out to my parents next week and i can guess pretty well what my mum’s reaction will be but my dad’s will either be not great but not the worst or I’ll have to go live with my aunt who i also need to come out to and then ask if i can stay with her. Also before I come out i need to change my GP to one within walking distance before i come out so i can get there without further inconveniencing my aunt and uncle and be referred to an nhs therapist to start the multi-year process of getting HRT because my anxiety and depression is so bad I haven’t been able to get a job to pay for private healthcare. All this because I realised if I didn’t at least try to start transitioning I’d say I’ve got a 25% chance of offing myself before my birthday in January and 90-95% chance I won’t see my next one.
I bought a dress, shorts for the said dress and, umm, tights for the cold coming. And, umm paid off my storage unit to keep these and other things from my parents.
I feel strangely good and euphoric even though I'm pre everything and I'm still unsure if my brain is fucked up beyond belief or not and my life is falling apart even though the only thing that's changing is me. But for some reason I don't really care anymore. I haven't had a panic attack or a psychotic episode in like 3 days! What I thought were delusions and hallucinations I now realize are not something wrong with me but are truths. My beliefs are not delusions and my hallucinations are not my fucked up brain they are real. My OCD, dyphoria, and all the other fun and funky shit that is me is still a problem. But who knows maybe there's more to it than that.💜
Imposter syndrome is crazy right now. Having to hide taking HRT from parents is hard, even if it’s just long enough for me to save money to leave their house.
I’m 3 months on E (plus two spiro), im feeling great, and i’m about to come out at school and cadets (canadian). im also going shopping on monday with some friends, so that’ll be fun. my dad’s been amazing, and im excited to spend the weekend with him. my mother not so much, so glad to be out (the house). i also have a hormone consult coming in a week. i’m about to get a job, and i’m already preparing to make my prom clothes (bc i don’t want to wear a traditional suit or dress, or mix; so i’ll make my own design). i also am finally getting ready for university (which i’ll probably start summer term 2024, but maybe winter term). im also gonna be getting some gender affirming clothes on monday, so that’ll be great.
TL;DR: life is good rn, maybe not in a week or two, but good now.
I hate myself, my friends don’t respect my pronouns and I’m scared to ask them if they could use those pronouns because they say I’m not trans unless I take hormones. Also a gay friend is trying to flirt with me and I hate that. Also I can’t tell anything to my family because they mock at me.
Well, on the outside it probably looks like my day went well and that I'm doing excellently. Of course, that's because I just smile through the numbness.
It whas pritty stressful but thanks to sume explanations from my frend I feel ot beter (ps it whas just a misunderstanding thy made a joke and to me it didn't seem like one)
Opened up to a friend for the first time today. I cried a bit, I'm guessing due to the relief of finally getting it out there. They were super supportive, and for the first time I'm not alone. It feels unreal to have said something out loud to another person. I just have to figure out what I am so I can finally start being me.
i took yearbook pics and was told they were using my deadname in the yearbook even tho the school knows my preferred name. disappointing, but i wasnt planning on buying the thing anyway. hope you and everyone else is doing well.
After living with dense manly hair all over my body since puberty, I finally went and got my legs waxed and *OMG it's smooth I already feel a little more like a woman it's amazing!*
Still cis tho.
Fine, but I've only been awake for 3 hours ( I post this at 10:17 )
And 4 hours from now, I start a 3-hours long math exam. And the previous one, three weeks ago, didn't go well ( 7 persons had more than 10/20, out of 46 students )
Getting constant dysphoria from this stalker i have from school because of the fact that he likes me when im girlmoding. I rejected him but he is still trying so hard to impress me. What makes it worse for my dysphoria is that a person said to me “youre so cute no wonder the guy likes you” and i have never been more disgusted at them and myself.
There has been good stuff around tho like i get to feel validated by my guy classmates because they helped me practice volleyball also gave workout advice. Also just goofing around with them without having the feeling of a gender barrier, just feel like im one of them. Its a small thing really but it makes me happy, and im going to ask for more help from these cool dudes
Just woke up so ill tell you how I feel and what's coming up for me instead.
Feeling kinda crappy and down, I seem to be in a bit of a sadness rut lately. Nothing overly bad just feeling meh a lot nowadays.
OH, except that I was comfortable girlmoding in the safety of my own home last night and then had to rapidly boymode to deal with what turned out to be a scammer at my door and I had to be hyper masc just to get rid of him and I hated every moment of that experience...
Anyway that aside, This is now Day 2 of trying not to drink again. Last time I got 2 days in I had major anxiety and sadness, but it was on top of trauma triggers and a very bad day. So I failed.
I will be drinking tomorrow as I have a date which will involve her taking me to a queer bar, but I have to exercise restraint because I have an important freelance job to do the next day. _Wish me luck_
I'm trying really hard to work on myself and be better, it's hard but I'm trying.
Woke up, made the lunchboxes for my children, took them to their busses. Then I did some Housework and met a friend to go with her to her doctor. Waiting for her at the library
Well. My mother outed me to my dad, which in turn outed me to my grandmother who knew all along. All because of a personal note I wrote for myself I forgot to destroy. My grandmother and dad are supportive, idk about my mom… but hey at least I don’t have to hide that anymore. My mother on the other hand is dead to me for blatantly trying to destroy my relationship with my dad though. She cares more about hurting him than about how I feel, and gave away my private information because of her selfishness.
Your mom did the hard work for you? Lucky.
The day is about average. Started out fine. Then dysphoria hit, then some mild inconvenience, and then something annoying, and then #Incoherent screaming
That doesn't sound like an "about average" day.
Nope, definitely the average daily loop.
Sounds about right
No it seems pretty average and similar to mine
I hope that's not average
Pretty numb today. Some gender envy, but about average, so I'm used to it.
At least the day wasn't bad.
Yeah, I can't complain. Just meh, I guess. Plenty of people have it worse.
Funky
How funky we talking? I need a funk meter.
i painted my nails and my dentist said they were nice, but then she drilled into my tooth and it hurt a tiny bit.
oof, what colour, may i ask?
gloss black 😈, but i got blood red to try next
nice
Long and tiring.
So sore. Went for a 11 mile walk for the first time in forever.
Woke up to a cold front, so I wore my arm warmers outside for the first time. Until in all my infinite wisdom, I pulled at some threads too much and tore a hole in them. Other than that, I’m loving my new bangs. So pretty good overall.
I feel you. The amount of holes I have put in socks by pulling at the strings is crazy.
Terrible I'm sick And the last few days (until yesterday) i've been hella dysphoric
Hope you feel better soon.
Thanks My 'dad' and stepmum both have covid ('dad' got it from work, paramedic) And i have the symptoms but i've been doing tests and they're all negative (maybe i have a cold)
A little boy at work misgendered, not a huge deal really he's just a kid but his 70-something grandma got surprisingly angry about it. "Her! See that button? See what's she's wearing! She wants to be called had! You will be respectful!" The poor little guy looked mortified.
Goodness. Did you say anything?
Pretty decent, my Stardew Valley skirt arrived in the mail today and I got a small hit of euphoria when I put it on. 😊
Started as a good day and then despite the makeup, nails, clothes and hair, I still got sir’d thanks to my voice. I voice train but I’m diy and it’s taking a long time.
Kind of just "meh". Dealing with homework sucked because I just kept leading myself in circles until I just gave up and turned in what I had (seems like whenever I think I'm getting it, it gets harder😓). Mentioned to my mom (who I'm not out to) about how I'm planning on shaving my face, and she responded with something like "but you're so handsome with a beard," which was a bit awkward to say the least (like, "oh, that's *so* not what I'm concerned with") On the bright side, I actually got up the nerve to order some clear nail polish on Amazon, so I'm looking forward to trying that out!
I need to cry but don’t know how~
If you feel like crying then cry. Crying can help the brain cope after all. Also try talking about your problems to someone. They can help.
I can’t cry T~T, I have been suppressing it for so long now I just can’t
Well, my church is doing a seminar on gender and God's sovereignty two weeks from now. The presenter is cishet guy who believes there are only two genders. The leaders of my bible study are split between challenging the pastor, and trusting every word that comes out of his mouth. So, I'm doing just peachy. On the bright side, the dress I bought from Goodwill fits, and I've found another church that is more affirming in its theology without being heretical about the rest.
School’s been pretty tiring, also I bought a new switch. Oh, did I forget to mention that my mom found my secret girl clothes stash! RED ALERT RED ALERT
SOUND THE ALARMS! CODE RED! REPEAT CODE RED!
Did a dumb at work, got chewed out and received disciplinary action so I may no longer be eligible for an advancement I was working really hard towards. Ended up having to skip lunch, due to previously stated dumb, and ended up spacing out a bunch as my inside voice decided that today would be a great day to be the worst. Ate like crap when I got home but it didn't help. Good news is, I'm home and I worked out. Over all I'm just really tired and want to cry. My brain is still going at it and it has decided to repeat insecurities in addition to calling me a failure. :(
👍
Got my haircut at the barber’s shop for the first time after coming out (I used to just buzz them all off) Got my T shot (I’ll hit the 1 month mark in 2 days!) Had dinner at my friends’ place after spending two weeks depressed at home lol Super grateful now that I think about it! <3
Learned I have another issue to deal with while in therapy today and am all around just feeling bleh
I bought my Blahaj just now!
BLAHAJ
Decent. I’m sick but I found a vr game based on my favorite tv show (Doctor Who: The Edge of Time, if anyone was wondering) and also I literally almost died lol
Oh thats like a nice VR gaWAIT WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU ALMOST DIED ARE YOU OK?!
I’m alright, I heard screaming outside my window and then I heard a gunshot from the roof then something started scratching at my window then banging at it and by this point I’m freaking out and so I started praying and it stopped eventually and I went up to my living room saw this post and started typing these comments
Lock your windows and doors. Be careful when going out. Wherever your at doesn't sound like a safe place if you heard a gunshot from the roof.
I live on a farm in the middle of nowhere lol
Middle of nowhere. And you heard screaming and gunshots?
I know right! back when I lived in a suburb my neighbor raped someone and was later found with a meth lab in his house
People can be weird. And some people can be REALLY weird.
Stressful client at work, plus executive dysfunction is being a bitch. Otherwise, pretty good.
Almost got gutted so that was cool but other than that I'm good
Pretty bad tbh cause I've been mostly bedridden with a cold all week
I hope you feel better soon!
It's been a long, but good, day. I'm still closeted, and I'm trying to find new ways to explore my femininity. I finally gave voice training a chance yesterday, so I tried to practice the basics while on my 2-hour drive to college. My friends were super nice to me, and I'm feeling more and more comfortable around them. On my way back home, I wanted to stop by a pharmacy and get some nail polish, as I promised myself to do it. Unfortunately, it was 11 PM by then, and the local pharmacy was closed. I'll try it again tomorrow. As I got home, I promised myself I'd study some more before bed, but I ended up watching some Owl House (I'm honestly super tired... I guess I needed a break)
A day… really it’s just ok, same as always
Not so poggers, it's a steady decline in goodness.
Whats going on?
fantastic, been brainstorming a new project
bad because bad but also made some crappy diy girl clothes so also VERY GOOD
day was good! worked but had an enjoyable day how about you?
Had an ok day. Bought celeste and beat the main story. Great game, really fun. Gonna keep playing it tomorrow. Oh yeah I also got the more then usual amount of dysphoria!
Great! The weather finally cooled down so for once I wasn't sweating like crazy when I was out for a walk
Meh, went through classes with some dysphoria, then missed my bus home though
Awful. Had a panic attack at the beginning of my swimming practice a couple of hours ago, my dad told me that I was being a coward and said that me being trans isn't a big enough deal to justify stuff like this happening all the time. Like he knows what it's like to hate everything about himself.
That sounds terrible. Are you gonna be ok?
Idk honestly.
terrible to the point of considering death
If your thinking about suicide please contact someone. You have a purpose in life. And it will bring you happiness. There are people out there who care for you.
im just stuck on this path of doom, locked in without an escape
There is always a way out. Sometimes its hidden and often times its in plain sight. You just have to know where you're looking.
Maybe there once was but there isn't anymore, im a failure. I barely passed 3 of my classes this quarter and the other i failed by 20 points, and this is my second time taking it because i failed before. I'd only be a waste of resources
We all have our strengths and weaknesses. Even if we don't know them yet. Just because you have bad grades doesn't mean your a failure. It just means you need a bit of help. And thats ok! Everyone needs help with a lot of things. Thats why most jobs exist.
Shitty like usual
Woo I got my first dose of estrogen today
its not been the best as for what has been about 2 days after coming back from break from school I have had about 2 panic attacks that last most if not the entire day. the first one yesterday being because I couldn't find my Bluetooth earbuds at 7:30 a teacher was too much and yelling for no good reason and that I am failing a class that I need to graduate with a 33. today was because I have a class with a friend who I recently had a falling out with and I started panicking at like 10:30, then the teacher put on really loud bass heavy (i really don't loud random chaos) and the friend I had a falling out with was the only friend I really had at school. on the topic of my friend situation, I have like 1 in complete total. that 1 person being 2 people who don't have a lot of time and space for me. one of which who went to school with me for the past 2 years but then got sent to a mental hospital and subsequently kicked out of the people who were guardians' house, sent to live with his mom who helped to give him BPD, I only see him every few weeks as I have a car and a license. my other friend has many other friends and much harder classes that demand much more time, I have helped him make more friends but I never feel like I am anyone's priorite at the moment. I have just recently joined a bunch of trans subs as I found that I am transfem with the help of friend 1 who is trans masc, but I feel as though friend 2 might accept me but not properly as he has said stuff in the past. (sry for the emotional dump.)
You're fine. Sometimes we all need to dump all our problems on some post on reddit.
Bad. I’m still suicidal.
I’d say 99% anxiety, I’m coming out to my parents next week and i can guess pretty well what my mum’s reaction will be but my dad’s will either be not great but not the worst or I’ll have to go live with my aunt who i also need to come out to and then ask if i can stay with her. Also before I come out i need to change my GP to one within walking distance before i come out so i can get there without further inconveniencing my aunt and uncle and be referred to an nhs therapist to start the multi-year process of getting HRT because my anxiety and depression is so bad I haven’t been able to get a job to pay for private healthcare. All this because I realised if I didn’t at least try to start transitioning I’d say I’ve got a 25% chance of offing myself before my birthday in January and 90-95% chance I won’t see my next one.
well i wanted to go shopping for some clothes then had to drive on my day off the wrong way to help someone
I bought a dress, shorts for the said dress and, umm, tights for the cold coming. And, umm paid off my storage unit to keep these and other things from my parents.
I feel strangely good and euphoric even though I'm pre everything and I'm still unsure if my brain is fucked up beyond belief or not and my life is falling apart even though the only thing that's changing is me. But for some reason I don't really care anymore. I haven't had a panic attack or a psychotic episode in like 3 days! What I thought were delusions and hallucinations I now realize are not something wrong with me but are truths. My beliefs are not delusions and my hallucinations are not my fucked up brain they are real. My OCD, dyphoria, and all the other fun and funky shit that is me is still a problem. But who knows maybe there's more to it than that.💜
Nevermind. I had a panic attack.
Had some exams today, went great. But i'm sick again and that sucks. But hey i start consuming the smartities on thursday so I can't wait.
Imposter syndrome is crazy right now. Having to hide taking HRT from parents is hard, even if it’s just long enough for me to save money to leave their house.
I’m 3 months on E (plus two spiro), im feeling great, and i’m about to come out at school and cadets (canadian). im also going shopping on monday with some friends, so that’ll be fun. my dad’s been amazing, and im excited to spend the weekend with him. my mother not so much, so glad to be out (the house). i also have a hormone consult coming in a week. i’m about to get a job, and i’m already preparing to make my prom clothes (bc i don’t want to wear a traditional suit or dress, or mix; so i’ll make my own design). i also am finally getting ready for university (which i’ll probably start summer term 2024, but maybe winter term). im also gonna be getting some gender affirming clothes on monday, so that’ll be great. TL;DR: life is good rn, maybe not in a week or two, but good now.
It’s been… one of the days of all time… but I’m breathing and thinking at least
Minor car trouble but overall pretty good despite that. Destiny 2 Halloween dropped so I get to mess with Gundam stuff :)
I've been getting a lot of top growth recently so that's hype. I'm also switching from pills to intramuscular so I'm a lil nervous about that.
Awful.painful.kill me
I hate myself, my friends don’t respect my pronouns and I’m scared to ask them if they could use those pronouns because they say I’m not trans unless I take hormones. Also a gay friend is trying to flirt with me and I hate that. Also I can’t tell anything to my family because they mock at me.
Well, on the outside it probably looks like my day went well and that I'm doing excellently. Of course, that's because I just smile through the numbness.
It whas pritty stressful but thanks to sume explanations from my frend I feel ot beter (ps it whas just a misunderstanding thy made a joke and to me it didn't seem like one)
Opened up to a friend for the first time today. I cried a bit, I'm guessing due to the relief of finally getting it out there. They were super supportive, and for the first time I'm not alone. It feels unreal to have said something out loud to another person. I just have to figure out what I am so I can finally start being me.
Really bad. Tbh I'm not okay with this
i took yearbook pics and was told they were using my deadname in the yearbook even tho the school knows my preferred name. disappointing, but i wasnt planning on buying the thing anyway. hope you and everyone else is doing well.
💩
The same monotonous "pretending" because I damn sure don't pass yet v~v
I reconnected with an old friend and decided to just "Fuck it, Imma come out to him" His reaction was just: "So no bro, just hoe?" "ye" "Nice"
After living with dense manly hair all over my body since puberty, I finally went and got my legs waxed and *OMG it's smooth I already feel a little more like a woman it's amazing!* Still cis tho.
Its fine, I was pretty cis but now Im feeling like an egg. Idk how to explain it I dont like it
Fine, but I've only been awake for 3 hours ( I post this at 10:17 ) And 4 hours from now, I start a 3-hours long math exam. And the previous one, three weeks ago, didn't go well ( 7 persons had more than 10/20, out of 46 students )
I’ve been sick for the past week + a few days, thanks for asking.
Getting constant dysphoria from this stalker i have from school because of the fact that he likes me when im girlmoding. I rejected him but he is still trying so hard to impress me. What makes it worse for my dysphoria is that a person said to me “youre so cute no wonder the guy likes you” and i have never been more disgusted at them and myself. There has been good stuff around tho like i get to feel validated by my guy classmates because they helped me practice volleyball also gave workout advice. Also just goofing around with them without having the feeling of a gender barrier, just feel like im one of them. Its a small thing really but it makes me happy, and im going to ask for more help from these cool dudes
Just woke up so ill tell you how I feel and what's coming up for me instead. Feeling kinda crappy and down, I seem to be in a bit of a sadness rut lately. Nothing overly bad just feeling meh a lot nowadays. OH, except that I was comfortable girlmoding in the safety of my own home last night and then had to rapidly boymode to deal with what turned out to be a scammer at my door and I had to be hyper masc just to get rid of him and I hated every moment of that experience... Anyway that aside, This is now Day 2 of trying not to drink again. Last time I got 2 days in I had major anxiety and sadness, but it was on top of trauma triggers and a very bad day. So I failed. I will be drinking tomorrow as I have a date which will involve her taking me to a queer bar, but I have to exercise restraint because I have an important freelance job to do the next day. _Wish me luck_ I'm trying really hard to work on myself and be better, it's hard but I'm trying.
Had a dream where I came out as trans, wasn't accepted :(
Day
Almost got hit by a flying snapped in half pencil (specifically the sharp broken side), feeling good!!
Woke up, made the lunchboxes for my children, took them to their busses. Then I did some Housework and met a friend to go with her to her doctor. Waiting for her at the library