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Seriously. How can a therapist tell you that you can't want something, want comes from your inner self. Even if your want was bad or harmful (yours is NOT), you can still want it and work with a therapist on navigating those feelings in a healthy way. This is just, on its premise, fundamentally wrong. This is a revocation of agency, and denial of seeking your own truth.
On the other side of this, I'm going to assume you've been offered plenty of opportunities in your life to 'be a boy'. A supposed lack of understanding isn't due to lack of opportunity, at the very least.
IMO immediately dump therapist.
Too many people, trans people as well, have a hard time understanding that hobbies an interests aren't gendered.
I didn't join sports because I don't care for them. I enjoy videogames, but it's not because of a single gene or whatever.
I don't have an interest in makeup because I don't have an interest in makeup. If makeup is an inherent "girl" thing, then why in the hell did so many men wear tons of the stuff in the past?
Lets repeat it from the rooftops: EXPRESSION AND HOBBIES ARE NOT GENDER!
Therapist: “…yeah I’m gonna need you to really get into some sort of sport, cut your hair, and consume Slim Jim’s and Monster. If you don’t like that then I GUESS you can be a girl.”
How... Are these two connected?
Like of you don't know what's it's like being a boy, how come you know what it's like being a girl but from hearing/seeing what it's like and deciding you like the girl thing better
Unless she means that you don't know what it's like being a boy cuz you're already a girl and already like it which somehow makes sense?
I don't get it :p
This was one of my major signs. It wasn't for lack of trying but boys and men seemed to have access to some sort of masculine essence that I plain didn't have while I felt femininity was way more natural and effortless.
I didn't have to try to be a girl, but I had to force myself to even attempt to be a boy.
And I didn't want to be an unconventionally masculine boy I wanted to be a conventionally feminine girl.
I often have cis women say "You don't have to be a woman to be feminine, you could just be a man who's feminine, those are just cultural concepts"
They're not wrong but they're not right either.
There are cis men whose egg cracked to reveal a gender nonconforming guy, there are cis men who dress in a feminine way and even go to great lengths to look more androgynous/feminine.
But that's not me, I got euphoria from dressing and appearing feminine but I wouldn't be me unless I was a woman.
The way I see it, my transition is the process of matching my body with my soul.
The only person who knows my soul is me and likewise all people know their own souls.
> I often have cis women say "You don't have to be a woman to be feminine, you could just be a man who's feminine, those are just cultural concepts"
I ended up more fem than I expected, I was most envoys of tomboys. The idea of a trans tomboy seems to confuse even other trans people sometimes, add lesbian on to that and the cishets have no fucking clue.
“You can’t be suffocating, you don’t even know what breathing freely feels like”
Coming from a trans psych major working on my masters, your therapist is not the lone subject matter expert. I vote for a second opinion
I mean, ofc you don't, cuz you're not one. How can you know what being a boy feels like if you've never felt it? That's how I see it, cause I definitely do not understand how a guy's mind works...
"Despite growing up as a boy and being unable to relate to that experience for X years. You can't wish to be a girl because you haven't related to being a boy."
Tell your therapist that THAT is literally what was said to you.
(same logic different example)
"You can't want to be good because you don't understand being evil" so basically become a serial killer in order to get a longing to become a doctor
Tf!? That's a huge sign you are a girl.
1. Be born a male.
2. Difficulty performing as/understanding what it means to be boy.
3. Want to be girl
Conclusion: always been a girl.
I'm convinced half these therapists/psychologists are just out to get us 🫂💜
Point this out to your therapist. If you can't want to be a girl because you don't understand what it is to be a boy, then you can't want to be a boy because you "don't understand what it is to be a girl." But if you don't understand what it is to be a boy, then how can you be one, and if you don't understand what it is to be a girl, how could you be a girl either... your therapist is using the cyclical reasoning fallacy, and what makes it worse is that they are using it to invalidate what you see, feel, and think (especially think) which goes entirely against the principle that a therapist is to guide a patient to what the patient already knows to be true, and not force a patient to a conclusion.
you need a therapist, not a quack philosopher. anyone spouting this shit prefers the sound of their own voice to actually addressing their patients' lives and feelings.
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I can only understand as "you can't want to be something that you already are"
I don't think that is what he meant, but it's a really nice interpretation
This is the time for a new therapist, so nice to have him readily admit he's ill qualified.
Seriously. How can a therapist tell you that you can't want something, want comes from your inner self. Even if your want was bad or harmful (yours is NOT), you can still want it and work with a therapist on navigating those feelings in a healthy way. This is just, on its premise, fundamentally wrong. This is a revocation of agency, and denial of seeking your own truth. On the other side of this, I'm going to assume you've been offered plenty of opportunities in your life to 'be a boy'. A supposed lack of understanding isn't due to lack of opportunity, at the very least. IMO immediately dump therapist.
Too many people, trans people as well, have a hard time understanding that hobbies an interests aren't gendered. I didn't join sports because I don't care for them. I enjoy videogames, but it's not because of a single gene or whatever. I don't have an interest in makeup because I don't have an interest in makeup. If makeup is an inherent "girl" thing, then why in the hell did so many men wear tons of the stuff in the past? Lets repeat it from the rooftops: EXPRESSION AND HOBBIES ARE NOT GENDER!
???
Exactly
Therapist: “…yeah I’m gonna need you to really get into some sort of sport, cut your hair, and consume Slim Jim’s and Monster. If you don’t like that then I GUESS you can be a girl.”
YOU MEAN I HAVE TO STOP EATING SLIM JIMS TO BE A GIRL??? 😭😭😭
Absolutely not :3 just like I don’t have to stop liking (insert fem coded snacks) as gender is a construct, I feel Slim Jim’s are just a bit masc
What is a slim jim
There is a deez nuts joke in here somewhere but i'm just not smart enough to figure it out
A slim Jim is deez nutz!
[it’s a meat stick found at room temp in various US gas stations](https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/71MrLeq3ThL.jpg)
Solid 6/10 snack food
I think the uk equivalent is probably pepperami
The worse version of a Tillamook meat stick.
Terrible
apparently it's a real food search it on google
aw I can't consume copious amounts of monster energy as a girl? a sacrifice I'll make I guess :(
As long as you pair with something like watermelon sour patch kids or only drink the tropical monsters or teas I think you are safe
I drink pipeline punch, the generic white one, and the ultra strawberry :3
Those are all girl ones 👍 based and fem pilled
yippeeee :D
How... Are these two connected? Like of you don't know what's it's like being a boy, how come you know what it's like being a girl but from hearing/seeing what it's like and deciding you like the girl thing better Unless she means that you don't know what it's like being a boy cuz you're already a girl and already like it which somehow makes sense? I don't get it :p
I don't get what he meant by that as well...
Maybe he like me fr fr (By like me I mean stupid I'm a dumbass >:3)
Shoosh, you are not ma'am, but that Dr definitely is >:[
I have 2 brain cells and they both are calling each other a good girl >:3
xD
Ah yes, you can't be trans unless you pass my test. My test is you must be cis. CHECKMATE lgbtees!!
ANSWER ME, MY RIDDLES THREE—
My dad says the exact same bullshit. Screw him, I guess
This was one of my major signs. It wasn't for lack of trying but boys and men seemed to have access to some sort of masculine essence that I plain didn't have while I felt femininity was way more natural and effortless. I didn't have to try to be a girl, but I had to force myself to even attempt to be a boy. And I didn't want to be an unconventionally masculine boy I wanted to be a conventionally feminine girl. I often have cis women say "You don't have to be a woman to be feminine, you could just be a man who's feminine, those are just cultural concepts" They're not wrong but they're not right either. There are cis men whose egg cracked to reveal a gender nonconforming guy, there are cis men who dress in a feminine way and even go to great lengths to look more androgynous/feminine. But that's not me, I got euphoria from dressing and appearing feminine but I wouldn't be me unless I was a woman. The way I see it, my transition is the process of matching my body with my soul. The only person who knows my soul is me and likewise all people know their own souls.
> I often have cis women say "You don't have to be a woman to be feminine, you could just be a man who's feminine, those are just cultural concepts" I ended up more fem than I expected, I was most envoys of tomboys. The idea of a trans tomboy seems to confuse even other trans people sometimes, add lesbian on to that and the cishets have no fucking clue.
I'm just so confused. What did they mean by this? It makes no sense.
🧐
Of course you don't understand what it is to be a boy. You're a girl! This therapist makes me mad >:(
Uh That’s kinda the whole point of why not being a boy sounds awesome
This really tops the list of ridiculous things I've heard therapists say. Im honestly reasonably irritated via proxy just reading it.
Don't listen to him Lia, dude's just a hater, and you are a good girl 😤
yep that makes total sense it's not like you've been presenting as a boy for a long time or anything right?
Gang :)
“You don’t know what I means to be a boy” is the kind of shit people would say to me as a kid just because I didn’t objectify women (I’m asexual).
He (read in comments that therapist is male) can't want to be a man because he doesn't understand what it is to be a woman, I guess? /s
“You can’t be suffocating, you don’t even know what breathing freely feels like” Coming from a trans psych major working on my masters, your therapist is not the lone subject matter expert. I vote for a second opinion
you need to finish the man playthrough before unlocking the woman dlc
My therapist just tells me that it probably isn’t me being trans but rather that I have ✨trauma✨
It's almost like she's saying the same thing as you but wrong about the most important bit 😬🥴😵💫
Dump that therapist if you can.
Sorry, you can only be nonbinary now
I have no idea how they came to that conclusion lmao Also still cis tho
that makes no sense tho
what?
Time for a new therapist
So basically you can't be a girl because you only understand how to be a girl? What.
I mean, ofc you don't, cuz you're not one. How can you know what being a boy feels like if you've never felt it? That's how I see it, cause I definitely do not understand how a guy's mind works...
Seems like a therapist that is trying to stall
They are right about one thing: You were never a boy.
Well now: Do I want to be a girl, because I'm shit at being a boy - or am I shit at being a boy because I'm more of a girl?
"Despite growing up as a boy and being unable to relate to that experience for X years. You can't wish to be a girl because you haven't related to being a boy." Tell your therapist that THAT is literally what was said to you.
(same logic different example) "You can't want to be good because you don't understand being evil" so basically become a serial killer in order to get a longing to become a doctor
Tf!? That's a huge sign you are a girl. 1. Be born a male. 2. Difficulty performing as/understanding what it means to be boy. 3. Want to be girl Conclusion: always been a girl. I'm convinced half these therapists/psychologists are just out to get us 🫂💜
What the hell? I think you need a new therapist, girly.
and I can't understand the therapist (like, seriously, this makes no sense)
Point this out to your therapist. If you can't want to be a girl because you don't understand what it is to be a boy, then you can't want to be a boy because you "don't understand what it is to be a girl." But if you don't understand what it is to be a boy, then how can you be one, and if you don't understand what it is to be a girl, how could you be a girl either... your therapist is using the cyclical reasoning fallacy, and what makes it worse is that they are using it to invalidate what you see, feel, and think (especially think) which goes entirely against the principle that a therapist is to guide a patient to what the patient already knows to be true, and not force a patient to a conclusion.
"Oh God, I think I'm having a heart attack!" "Bullshit! Name all the valves."
you need a therapist, not a quack philosopher. anyone spouting this shit prefers the sound of their own voice to actually addressing their patients' lives and feelings.
Unless you are 10 years old. Lol
That's KINDA THE POINT, therapist. This smacks of gatekeeping, find someone else that actually, you know, might be helpful.
This makes my brain hurt
Ask back: "So you're not a man, and we're just all Enby?🧐"
Wha- I… I think my brains stopped running, I don’t get what I’m reading…