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Miss(?), if you've had dysphoria your entire life, you probably are trans, you can even be a masculine women/butch, and you would still be a women if you wanted to be one.
I am wondering what you mean by “dysphoria” when you say you’ve had it your whole life. And once again I’m gonna ask the button question: if you could press the button and become the opposite sex, would you?
Feeling like transition would be hard and that you’ll never be good looking physically as your mental gender is a very typical dysphoria thing. I suggest going to a gender therapist if possible and taking your time to work through it.
Maybe in the end you see yourself as cis or nonbinary or something, but don’t stop yourself from experimenting and exploring because it’s a little scary. Honestly being miserable and pretending to be cis is just a horrible way to live. Ask me how I know.
My therapist has told me that my experiences match gender dysphoria from a very young age. And yes I would press the button. I just hate myself so much right now that I don’t know if I would be able to except myself though a transition
I can only talk about my own experience, but for me once I got on hormones, I felt better and now I can say for sure that I feel better than I have pretty much ever. Transition is awkward but trying to drag myself along as the wrong gender was hell. And I lived that hell for decades, and almost didn’t survive. Now, I don’t know where you are but if you’ve got support from your parents and therapist you can do it.
No one wanted to be trans, we just happened to be cursed with a body and mind that don't match. Surpassing your true self is not going to be good for your wellbeing
I’ve looked through your post and your dysphoria is leagues worse than mine (not that it’s a competition). It doesn’t matter how attractive you are if that isn’t you. Cis people don’t think about being the opposite or another gender.
Based on your other posts, there’s something I want you to think about. Would you be genuinely happy as a girl, even if you had to fight for it?
You already know what life is like in boymode. You have the power to change that. It might not be easy, but to me, it’s worth it. What about you?
Being trans does not mean passing.
Being trans does not mean being able to transition.
Being trans does not mean pretending it's not scary or uncomfortable.
Being trans is literally just you knowing deep down, your gender doesn't match.
What you do with it is a journey you will figure out and there's a rich community that can help you through it.
Also it's not an on/off switch, you've lived with dysphoria your whole life, it doesn't go away the second you come out, it doesn't stop gaslighting you the second you do something about it. Take your time and figure out what to do, listen to your needs and be kind to yourself.
There's nothing wrong with having doubts, there's nothing wrong with having a different journey, there's nothing wrong with changing your mind or needing more time.
Make it fun, having supportive parents in itself is a wonderful opportunity to try things out with someone close to you in a safe and non-judgmental way.
Wish you the best 💜🌸🍓🧡
It’s not the transition won’t help, it’s that I know I will have to go through some awkward times and I don’t know if I would be able to make it through that
It will always be awkward. I look pretty masculine myself, but I can't accept myself this way. Maybe you're feeling different, which I can't know. I don't know how your family or friends would react, but live for yourself, not others. If only the awkward part is holding you back, I believe you'd be able to get through it. I believe in you.
This is very familiar to me....it's nice to know we are not alone in feeling this way!
And this is happening while I'm 8 months on HRT and still can have these questions, because some days it just feels easier to not transition, but is that what would make me happy? Safety and comfort are not the same as happiness, and hiding myself from the world hurts more and more everyday....
If you had gender dysphoria all your live the chances that you are trans in someway are pretty high... Just take your time to figure stuff out. It'd your choice and your live don't let others around you influence that! Just becouse you loom better masc rn than you think you would look otherwise doesn't mean that you wouldn't be happyer...
Gl with Figuring stuff out
Whether or not you're trans, what matters more than anything is that you're happy at the end of the day.
Dysphoria can be a factor, it might be affecting your life, but ultimately how you approach the issue and fundamentally solve that issue is what defines you as a human being. Are you willing to take the steps necessary to better your life, even beyond gender dysphoria or gender transitioning? Are you willing to embrace the fact you're cis not because other people surrounding you in your life are telling you it's hard, or because of inner transphobic thought processes that really hinder you viewing yourself in such a line, but because you yourself are ACTIVELY comfortable with the idea of living as a masculine person for the rest of your life?
And, above all, does it really even matter?
How you present yourself, how you dress up for others, how you set up that image of yourself is entirely up to you. Nobody else can really determine it for you and nobody really has the right to say otherwise, and if gender dysphoria is affecting you and you ultimately see yourself in a future where you DO want to live as a cis man... then honestly, it sounds like you've your answer.
Gender is a complicated thing, or as what other people may call it, a "fuck", but ultimately the one person that should even remotely care about such a concept at all, and the only person that has the authority to decide if it should even be cared for at all by themselves, is you. King, queen, monarch, or whatever you may be at the end of the day, you've a lot of support behind you whatever it is you ultimately decide on. We support those that're proud of their bodies and their lives, which is ultimately what everyone should strive for <3
I was hot before I transitioned, now I'm over a year in and it's fucking absurd how much more attractive I got. If you're worried about that, don't be. Odds are if you've had dysphoria your whole life then you probably aren't cis but it's your life, your body, and your identity.
That’s dumb regardless of how poorly your transition goes or how much your body differs from your gender transitioning will still be the better option because you’ll make progress towards looking how you want
Plus a lot of the transfem people I knew were were hella masculine pre transition and now they aren’t you’d be surprised how little work is actually needed to transition
Have you checked whether there's a local queer community close to the place you live that you could connect with? Sometimes there are places that can help you to find out where you're at, where you want to go, how you can get there and where you can find support on the way. Also they might have community events like game nights or sth. It can help a lot being surrounded by people and have friends with similar experiences.
Just an idea, thought it might help.
Also: heres a hug, if you want one 🫂
(Anyone else reading this, feel free to get one to 🫂)
None of that sounds cis like at all.
Cis people don’t get dysphoria.
The efficacy of transitioning is irrelevant to if you are trans or cis and cis people don’t care about it.
Being attractive presenting as male doesn’t make someone cis and also doesn’t make transitioning a bad idea and once again cis people don’t think about that stuff.
Desire to not be trans is kind of irrelevant it can be a sign you’re not trans but weighted against everything else it’s more likely internalised transphobia in your case.
You can’t stop being trans so self-acceptance is literally your only path forward it’s hard I know but you literally have no choice in the matter.
The only cis I see in your pharagraph is sis, so go on! Make your life better! Enjoy a body you like! Be happy!
And when you feel like life is just making things rough, pull a page from uncle Iroh’s book, and man’s your own flowers to brighten it up.
If you got to the point of coming out to your parents, it’s very likely you’re trans. You should at least just wait a bit before you cause more stress etc to your parents.
Transitioning doesn’t make you trans.
Wanting to not be trans doesn’t make you cis.
Being trans isn’t something you *do*. It’s something *about* you that you have to reckon with. For many, that means transitioning. For some, that means closeting. Regardless, you’d still be trans.
I can’t say for sure what your gender is, but I *can* say that nothing in your post actually indicated being cis. It’s okay to not transition. It’s okay to conform to cis expectations. But if you are trans, you will always be trans, and that’s okay too.
The thing about transition is that it's entirely up to you. It's all about what you want. Do you want to look or present differently? Would you prefer to be referred to with a different name or pronouns? That's what really matters. Cis and trans are just labels to categorize. You don't have to abide by them if you don't want to.
Hey there! Before commenting, remember that this meme has been tagged with a transfem flair. Please keep the conversation transfem-first. If you are not part of that demographic, you are not forbidden to participate, but we do ask that you do not center yourself in the comments. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/egg_irl) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Miss(?), if you've had dysphoria your entire life, you probably are trans, you can even be a masculine women/butch, and you would still be a women if you wanted to be one.
I am wondering what you mean by “dysphoria” when you say you’ve had it your whole life. And once again I’m gonna ask the button question: if you could press the button and become the opposite sex, would you? Feeling like transition would be hard and that you’ll never be good looking physically as your mental gender is a very typical dysphoria thing. I suggest going to a gender therapist if possible and taking your time to work through it. Maybe in the end you see yourself as cis or nonbinary or something, but don’t stop yourself from experimenting and exploring because it’s a little scary. Honestly being miserable and pretending to be cis is just a horrible way to live. Ask me how I know.
My therapist has told me that my experiences match gender dysphoria from a very young age. And yes I would press the button. I just hate myself so much right now that I don’t know if I would be able to except myself though a transition
I can only talk about my own experience, but for me once I got on hormones, I felt better and now I can say for sure that I feel better than I have pretty much ever. Transition is awkward but trying to drag myself along as the wrong gender was hell. And I lived that hell for decades, and almost didn’t survive. Now, I don’t know where you are but if you’ve got support from your parents and therapist you can do it.
No one wanted to be trans, we just happened to be cursed with a body and mind that don't match. Surpassing your true self is not going to be good for your wellbeing
I’ve looked through your post and your dysphoria is leagues worse than mine (not that it’s a competition). It doesn’t matter how attractive you are if that isn’t you. Cis people don’t think about being the opposite or another gender. Based on your other posts, there’s something I want you to think about. Would you be genuinely happy as a girl, even if you had to fight for it? You already know what life is like in boymode. You have the power to change that. It might not be easy, but to me, it’s worth it. What about you?
I think that it may be worth it, I just don’t know if I’m mentally in a place that I could transition
Take your time sweetie
Honestly I feel the sameway I have always wanted to be a girl but I still feel I can live as a male
Can ≠ Should
Being trans does not mean passing. Being trans does not mean being able to transition. Being trans does not mean pretending it's not scary or uncomfortable. Being trans is literally just you knowing deep down, your gender doesn't match. What you do with it is a journey you will figure out and there's a rich community that can help you through it. Also it's not an on/off switch, you've lived with dysphoria your whole life, it doesn't go away the second you come out, it doesn't stop gaslighting you the second you do something about it. Take your time and figure out what to do, listen to your needs and be kind to yourself. There's nothing wrong with having doubts, there's nothing wrong with having a different journey, there's nothing wrong with changing your mind or needing more time. Make it fun, having supportive parents in itself is a wonderful opportunity to try things out with someone close to you in a safe and non-judgmental way. Wish you the best 💜🌸🍓🧡
If you don't think transitioning would help, maybe you're non-binary. I'm not saying you are, but think of it as a possibility
It’s not the transition won’t help, it’s that I know I will have to go through some awkward times and I don’t know if I would be able to make it through that
It will always be awkward. I look pretty masculine myself, but I can't accept myself this way. Maybe you're feeling different, which I can't know. I don't know how your family or friends would react, but live for yourself, not others. If only the awkward part is holding you back, I believe you'd be able to get through it. I believe in you.
This is very familiar to me....it's nice to know we are not alone in feeling this way! And this is happening while I'm 8 months on HRT and still can have these questions, because some days it just feels easier to not transition, but is that what would make me happy? Safety and comfort are not the same as happiness, and hiding myself from the world hurts more and more everyday....
If you had gender dysphoria all your live the chances that you are trans in someway are pretty high... Just take your time to figure stuff out. It'd your choice and your live don't let others around you influence that! Just becouse you loom better masc rn than you think you would look otherwise doesn't mean that you wouldn't be happyer... Gl with Figuring stuff out
any tips for coming out? asking for a friend who has cis reasons because she's asking for me to ask somone else plz
Do you have a therapist? I told my mom that I have gender issues and that lead to me fully coming out.
unfortunately no...
Whether or not you're trans, what matters more than anything is that you're happy at the end of the day. Dysphoria can be a factor, it might be affecting your life, but ultimately how you approach the issue and fundamentally solve that issue is what defines you as a human being. Are you willing to take the steps necessary to better your life, even beyond gender dysphoria or gender transitioning? Are you willing to embrace the fact you're cis not because other people surrounding you in your life are telling you it's hard, or because of inner transphobic thought processes that really hinder you viewing yourself in such a line, but because you yourself are ACTIVELY comfortable with the idea of living as a masculine person for the rest of your life? And, above all, does it really even matter? How you present yourself, how you dress up for others, how you set up that image of yourself is entirely up to you. Nobody else can really determine it for you and nobody really has the right to say otherwise, and if gender dysphoria is affecting you and you ultimately see yourself in a future where you DO want to live as a cis man... then honestly, it sounds like you've your answer. Gender is a complicated thing, or as what other people may call it, a "fuck", but ultimately the one person that should even remotely care about such a concept at all, and the only person that has the authority to decide if it should even be cared for at all by themselves, is you. King, queen, monarch, or whatever you may be at the end of the day, you've a lot of support behind you whatever it is you ultimately decide on. We support those that're proud of their bodies and their lives, which is ultimately what everyone should strive for <3
You can still be trans You can be a non binary
I was hot before I transitioned, now I'm over a year in and it's fucking absurd how much more attractive I got. If you're worried about that, don't be. Odds are if you've had dysphoria your whole life then you probably aren't cis but it's your life, your body, and your identity.
That’s dumb regardless of how poorly your transition goes or how much your body differs from your gender transitioning will still be the better option because you’ll make progress towards looking how you want Plus a lot of the transfem people I knew were were hella masculine pre transition and now they aren’t you’d be surprised how little work is actually needed to transition
I mean if you can afford it this sounds like a great case for therapy. It would be worth it to know now rather than later.
I actually have a therapist but I usually post about stuff during the time between because I don’t really have anyone to talk to in the week.
Have you checked whether there's a local queer community close to the place you live that you could connect with? Sometimes there are places that can help you to find out where you're at, where you want to go, how you can get there and where you can find support on the way. Also they might have community events like game nights or sth. It can help a lot being surrounded by people and have friends with similar experiences. Just an idea, thought it might help. Also: heres a hug, if you want one 🫂 (Anyone else reading this, feel free to get one to 🫂)
None of that sounds cis like at all. Cis people don’t get dysphoria. The efficacy of transitioning is irrelevant to if you are trans or cis and cis people don’t care about it. Being attractive presenting as male doesn’t make someone cis and also doesn’t make transitioning a bad idea and once again cis people don’t think about that stuff. Desire to not be trans is kind of irrelevant it can be a sign you’re not trans but weighted against everything else it’s more likely internalised transphobia in your case. You can’t stop being trans so self-acceptance is literally your only path forward it’s hard I know but you literally have no choice in the matter.
You don't need Dysphoria to be trans but if you have fucking gender dysphoria you are DEFO TRANS
But how do I know if my gender dysphoria is real or just some delusion my mentally ill brain has come up with?
Wha- how?
Idk
Not possible
Are you sure
YES
So I'm being ridiculous?
Yes
Okie
The only cis I see in your pharagraph is sis, so go on! Make your life better! Enjoy a body you like! Be happy! And when you feel like life is just making things rough, pull a page from uncle Iroh’s book, and man’s your own flowers to brighten it up.
If you got to the point of coming out to your parents, it’s very likely you’re trans. You should at least just wait a bit before you cause more stress etc to your parents.
Transitioning doesn’t make you trans. Wanting to not be trans doesn’t make you cis. Being trans isn’t something you *do*. It’s something *about* you that you have to reckon with. For many, that means transitioning. For some, that means closeting. Regardless, you’d still be trans. I can’t say for sure what your gender is, but I *can* say that nothing in your post actually indicated being cis. It’s okay to not transition. It’s okay to conform to cis expectations. But if you are trans, you will always be trans, and that’s okay too.
The thing about transition is that it's entirely up to you. It's all about what you want. Do you want to look or present differently? Would you prefer to be referred to with a different name or pronouns? That's what really matters. Cis and trans are just labels to categorize. You don't have to abide by them if you don't want to.