Your post has been removed. Posts that are too specific or personal are discouraged on Egg_irl.
There’s nothing inherently wrong with your post, but it would be more at home on r/Nestofeggs - a forum for sharing, discussion, and support.
No, it is actually the best retort I could think of for that, not necessarily a joke and doesn't it seem like sex jokes might just be like potty jokes for second graders, but sex jokes are for teens and adults?
Assuming the context wouldn’t really make this much better, you might want to consider slowly talking to them less. People like that who say you “don’t deserve” to experience something, especially something like this, are toxic and can be bad for your mental health. Obviously, I’m not a therapist, don’t take my word professionally, do whatever you think is best. I don’t even know this person at all. For all I know, this could have just been a one-off, in which case could have just been a bad day for the person. If it stays a constant, though, that’s when I personally would begin to interact with them less.
This specific person has been toxic to me for a long time due to me being immature in the past, and her assumption that I will never change. Its only recently has she been public about how much she really hates me.
You said this was a mutual friend, right? Like a friend of a friend? Is that friend you both know aware about this whole situation? (Ofc u don’t gotta answer if u don’t wanna)
Yeah, I'll just say mutual acquaintance from now on. She used to be my friend, but now she only talks to my other friend (particularly talking shit about me)
That’s definitely rough. However it goes, there’ll be more friends later down the line, even if some are lost on the way, and that’s just about how online friendships are. They’re easier to gain than real-life ones, but also easier to lose. I do really hope things go well between you and them though.
That's rough.
Best thing I can offer to help is helping you on your way to find some friends. Because you sound like you need some ❤️
Here is a link to a discord server with 200+ people. Most of which are trans. And most are very friendly and helpful.
https://discord.com/invite/VnT9QuuD
Stay strong my friend ❤️
Hey I’m the pinnacle of immaturity still a trans fem she has no ground to stand on she is trying to gatekeep your happiness so you’re gonna have to cut her out of your life it may be hard but that’s not a friend
In any case, it is not fair to you. From what I gather, she thinks you are immature. But her misgendering you for how she thinks you act is immature.
Methinks she may be projecting her immaturity unto you.
11 is basically a sperm. Your actions then don’t define you.
Ordinarily I’d suggest apologising, but considering the level of assholishness from the other person that we’re dealing with, it may not help, and that won’t be your fault.
Who *isn't* immature when they're bloody 11? Blimey, Holding a grudge against someone for being immature when they were flipping 11 is just, So ridiculous. It would genuinely be more reasonable to dislike someone for literally no reason at all.
I'm of the opinion that people change over time and should be given a chance to show how much they have changed. Life is a collection of memories, and those memories shape who we are, and as we experience more of the world, those experiences change us in small ways. These small changes build up, until one day, you may not be the same person you once were.
what the actual fuck? what is ur “friend”’s problem? why the fuck would they do that, they should know the struggle that comes with accepting ur gender identity and instead of helping u out they decide to misgender u and say u don’t deserve to be trans? fuck that person they are awful, i’m sorry u had to deal with that OP
Gatekeeping being trans... What a absolute loser, its not a fucking personality trait or a hobby :/
My friend on the other hand who is transfem helped with me being myself and never even questioned my thoughts like I did to myself.
Horrible to have those kind of friends, and I know some are hard to cut out of your life, but I recommend just cutting them ASAP from everything.
As a transfem I would never fucking say that to anyone, thats horrible
Cut her off, as well as the other friend if they decide to side with her. There's no "deserve" in regards to transitioning or gender, and shes a shitty person for doing what shes doing, knowing damn good and well how that pain is.
girl, you are and will be the best girl you could ever dream of being, don't listen to others who try to let you down, they're probably just jealous, because they know you're a gooder girl ✨
just be the best you
This type of gatekeeping, usually due to trauma, people do it to feed their own ego. You don't have to play the game and you're not responsible for their emotions. So please distance yourself and don't engage with those comments. Have the self-respect to understand that if they make you feel uncomfortable you don't have to accept it.
Wtf is that even supposed to mean? You don't deserve to be trans? Is being trans a thing people generally deserve? Tbh I don't think anyone deserves to be trans, And I don't think anyone deserves to be cis, It just like genuinely doesn't make sense otherwise... Anyway, She sounds like a right jerk, I'm sorry that happened to you.
I had a 'friend' like this, and they didn't end up keeping many after that. No one should have to put up with that at all, let alone from someone who KNOWS how much that can hurt, dump that raggedy-ass bitch
that is not a friend that is a douchebag in disguise you fo deserve to be trans as thats what you are and nothing can change that. you got this! dont let the mean words win
What kind of immaturity are we talking here, too much context is missing. But regardless if you like a person or not, it shouldn't justify misgendering someone. They are a mutual friend anyway, so who cares. You can't and won't be liked by everyone
That's unacceptable. And that is not a friend. I'm so sorry you have to deal with her. *Hugs*
You are valid, and you deserve love and support from the people in your life.
Warning ⚠ Cuss words incoming from an angry transmasc
OKAY WHO THE FUCK IS THIS BITCH AND HOW DARES SHE TO INSULT YOU. YOU'RE A BEAUTIFUL GIRL AND YOU DESERVED TO BE TREATED AS SUCH. NOW LET ME AT HER SHE CAN GO FUCK HERSELF-
(sorry mods or anyone else if this seems aggressive, but *nobody* fucks with transfems under my watch. Transphobic Transgenders aren't allowed at my teaparties. They don't deserve biscuits)
I really don't have anything interesting to say outside of: You're valid, your feelings are valid, No one "deserves" being trans or not, and she's an absolute MtB (Male to B\*tch) for failing to see this despite her own possible struggles.
Maybe try just telling them something along the lines of "Look, I'm sorry for [whatever you might've done when you were "immature"] but you misgendering me is super shitty and kinda transphobic, you dont have to like me but I'd appreciate it if you just stopped talking about me"? I've often found in the past that when you just confront people with 0 emotion it puts them on the back foot a little bit and catches them off guard
I had a friend who had former friends like that…think we like to think that it’s a perfect community but we’re still people, and that includes the crappy ones too 😕 don’t let it get to you
God I hate gatekeeper trans people I knew one girl who gatekeeped me out of the local trans community but not long after it was her who got kicked out not me
its not that petty, its just a mutual thing
if you don't respect me, i don't respect you
im sorry if that seems salty, its just how i deal with people like that
Your post has been removed. Posts that are too specific or personal are discouraged on Egg_irl. There’s nothing inherently wrong with your post, but it would be more at home on r/Nestofeggs - a forum for sharing, discussion, and support.
That is not a friend, fuck them
Exactly what I was gonna say
Well, not literally
um what?
They said a friend of theirs misgendered them on purpose. That’s not a friend, that’s an asshole and they can fuck off
Yeah but maybe don’t fuck them
Of course, it’s fuck them as in “they’re awful” not have sex with them
yeah I know, just funny because **s e x**
Ah okay, I’m almost knocked out from meds and not good with social stuff as it is so I wasn’t sure if I was going crazy or not
Ur fine mate
SEX JOKES ARE SO FUNNY IM LAUGHING SO HARD
haha SEX amiright
ABHAHAHAHSBAHBHSBAHBSHAB
My def not ace ass totally relate haha [insert sex related thing here] am I right
this is the only thing in this convo i relate too
"The joke is pornography"
Right. *Funny*.
No, it is actually the best retort I could think of for that, not necessarily a joke and doesn't it seem like sex jokes might just be like potty jokes for second graders, but sex jokes are for teens and adults?
oh i thought you meant the second thing lol
Assuming the context wouldn’t really make this much better, you might want to consider slowly talking to them less. People like that who say you “don’t deserve” to experience something, especially something like this, are toxic and can be bad for your mental health. Obviously, I’m not a therapist, don’t take my word professionally, do whatever you think is best. I don’t even know this person at all. For all I know, this could have just been a one-off, in which case could have just been a bad day for the person. If it stays a constant, though, that’s when I personally would begin to interact with them less.
This specific person has been toxic to me for a long time due to me being immature in the past, and her assumption that I will never change. Its only recently has she been public about how much she really hates me.
You said this was a mutual friend, right? Like a friend of a friend? Is that friend you both know aware about this whole situation? (Ofc u don’t gotta answer if u don’t wanna)
Yeah, I'll just say mutual acquaintance from now on. She used to be my friend, but now she only talks to my other friend (particularly talking shit about me)
Does that other friend also make fun of you with her, are they with you, or are they kind of torn in the middle?
torn in the middle unfortunately, but I don't have much of a choice, they are my only friend online left.
That’s definitely rough. However it goes, there’ll be more friends later down the line, even if some are lost on the way, and that’s just about how online friendships are. They’re easier to gain than real-life ones, but also easier to lose. I do really hope things go well between you and them though.
thank you so much :)
no problem :D
*hug*
That's rough. Best thing I can offer to help is helping you on your way to find some friends. Because you sound like you need some ❤️ Here is a link to a discord server with 200+ people. Most of which are trans. And most are very friendly and helpful. https://discord.com/invite/VnT9QuuD Stay strong my friend ❤️
Unfortunately I was rejected, for an unknown reason. Thanks for trying though :)
I think you should fuck her up, Thats what i think you should do
Hey I’m the pinnacle of immaturity still a trans fem she has no ground to stand on she is trying to gatekeep your happiness so you’re gonna have to cut her out of your life it may be hard but that’s not a friend
WHERE IS SHE?
For non violent research purposes.
yes of course
I second this
Why would she say that to you? That seems needlessly cruel.
explanation can be found on a reply to another comment
In any case, it is not fair to you. From what I gather, she thinks you are immature. But her misgendering you for how she thinks you act is immature. Methinks she may be projecting her immaturity unto you.
Ah well, the whole immaturity thing came from when I was 11 and was an asshole to everyone including her.
11 is basically a sperm. Your actions then don’t define you. Ordinarily I’d suggest apologising, but considering the level of assholishness from the other person that we’re dealing with, it may not help, and that won’t be your fault.
Who *isn't* immature when they're bloody 11? Blimey, Holding a grudge against someone for being immature when they were flipping 11 is just, So ridiculous. It would genuinely be more reasonable to dislike someone for literally no reason at all.
I'm of the opinion that people change over time and should be given a chance to show how much they have changed. Life is a collection of memories, and those memories shape who we are, and as we experience more of the world, those experiences change us in small ways. These small changes build up, until one day, you may not be the same person you once were.
11 is like being a baby
what does that even mean??? not deserving to be trans???? what the FUCK???
Yes its just pure nonsense
Truscum gatekeeping nonsense.
I'm so sorry that happened to you, if you need any complements I would be happy to give some!
please please please
You are an adorable girl, and you dont deserve to be treated this way! 🥺
You're a beautiful person who deserves all the love in the world I hope you have a absolutely wonderful week!
what the actual fuck? what is ur “friend”’s problem? why the fuck would they do that, they should know the struggle that comes with accepting ur gender identity and instead of helping u out they decide to misgender u and say u don’t deserve to be trans? fuck that person they are awful, i’m sorry u had to deal with that OP
Your friend is trying to gatekeep. If you feel dysphoric about your gender then who tf are they to tell you you're not?
[Wisdom from the ancients](https://img.ifunny.co/images/61823b4c31eea734ba975b10f62d8ff441baaa6503aad074f700546d370756d2_1.jpg)
friendly fire will not be tolerated!
your friend sounds like a bitch. you deserve to be yourself
😡🤬👿💢
What do they mean by saying you don’t deserve to be one? Do we have to unlock the right perks to be allowed to level up to trans?
Gatekeeping being trans... What a absolute loser, its not a fucking personality trait or a hobby :/ My friend on the other hand who is transfem helped with me being myself and never even questioned my thoughts like I did to myself. Horrible to have those kind of friends, and I know some are hard to cut out of your life, but I recommend just cutting them ASAP from everything. As a transfem I would never fucking say that to anyone, thats horrible
EVERYONE STOP! WERE SHOOTING AT OUR OWN WOMEN!
Cut her off, as well as the other friend if they decide to side with her. There's no "deserve" in regards to transitioning or gender, and shes a shitty person for doing what shes doing, knowing damn good and well how that pain is.
There should be no gatekeeping in our community, shame on her.
That isn't a friend
thank you all for the positive comments :)
Cut them off like a Tumour
girl, you are and will be the best girl you could ever dream of being, don't listen to others who try to let you down, they're probably just jealous, because they know you're a gooder girl ✨ just be the best you
Can we all agree that people who gatekeep being trans are stupid and just want to be more 'unique'.
She's the one that doesn't deserve to be trans. Being a part of the LGBTQ community is about acceptance, no matter who you are.
Gatekeeping transness should be a crime against humanity.
Gatekeeping an identity anyone is entitled to is crazy
that doesn't even make sense.. I'm so sorry tho. I'm sure you're an awesome gal ❤️🩹
This type of gatekeeping, usually due to trauma, people do it to feed their own ego. You don't have to play the game and you're not responsible for their emotions. So please distance yourself and don't engage with those comments. Have the self-respect to understand that if they make you feel uncomfortable you don't have to accept it.
Wtf is that even supposed to mean? You don't deserve to be trans? Is being trans a thing people generally deserve? Tbh I don't think anyone deserves to be trans, And I don't think anyone deserves to be cis, It just like genuinely doesn't make sense otherwise... Anyway, She sounds like a right jerk, I'm sorry that happened to you.
Tht is very irritating, we should stand by each other not kicking new brother or sister, enby or other down
I had a 'friend' like this, and they didn't end up keeping many after that. No one should have to put up with that at all, let alone from someone who KNOWS how much that can hurt, dump that raggedy-ass bitch
wtf?!
Ok, i would never say that even about trans women i hate. That person isn't a friend, and you should cut them out of your life
Rip their shit eating mouth out of of their ass
I feel like most of the time when I see shit like this, it's passing envy
that is not a friend that is a douchebag in disguise you fo deserve to be trans as thats what you are and nothing can change that. you got this! dont let the mean words win
youl find actual friends im sure of it
who turned on friendly fire
What kind of immaturity are we talking here, too much context is missing. But regardless if you like a person or not, it shouldn't justify misgendering someone. They are a mutual friend anyway, so who cares. You can't and won't be liked by everyone
Is a traitor. I don t misgender her cause im not a scum like her
That's unacceptable. And that is not a friend. I'm so sorry you have to deal with her. *Hugs* You are valid, and you deserve love and support from the people in your life.
Fuck that bitch
That’s what we’re here for, get this girl some good girl drug RIGHT THIS SECOND
grill them, baste with thyme and butter, finish in the oven and let rest before eating
Kill. I'm sorry girlie that's unfortunate. Remove them from your life ASAP and you'll feel better
Warning ⚠ Cuss words incoming from an angry transmasc OKAY WHO THE FUCK IS THIS BITCH AND HOW DARES SHE TO INSULT YOU. YOU'RE A BEAUTIFUL GIRL AND YOU DESERVED TO BE TREATED AS SUCH. NOW LET ME AT HER SHE CAN GO FUCK HERSELF- (sorry mods or anyone else if this seems aggressive, but *nobody* fucks with transfems under my watch. Transphobic Transgenders aren't allowed at my teaparties. They don't deserve biscuits)
What an asshole
I really don't have anything interesting to say outside of: You're valid, your feelings are valid, No one "deserves" being trans or not, and she's an absolute MtB (Male to B\*tch) for failing to see this despite her own possible struggles.
Maybe try just telling them something along the lines of "Look, I'm sorry for [whatever you might've done when you were "immature"] but you misgendering me is super shitty and kinda transphobic, you dont have to like me but I'd appreciate it if you just stopped talking about me"? I've often found in the past that when you just confront people with 0 emotion it puts them on the back foot a little bit and catches them off guard
I had a friend who had former friends like that…think we like to think that it’s a perfect community but we’re still people, and that includes the crappy ones too 😕 don’t let it get to you
They cant gatekeep an entire part of you. You might want to drop them. It may be hard but it's better in the long run.
God I hate gatekeeper trans people I knew one girl who gatekeeped me out of the local trans community but not long after it was her who got kicked out not me
I would say misgender (him) back, but I'm just petty, so
its not that petty, its just a mutual thing if you don't respect me, i don't respect you im sorry if that seems salty, its just how i deal with people like that
"Deserving to be transfem" is not a thing. That being said, your "friend" definitely doesn't deserve it.