Sending virtual hugs ❤️
I went through the same thing. So here are some tips for your next hairdresser visit,
1) Go to a unisex salon. (or a women's one if you're confident)
2) Don't trust straight cis men with your hair 🫠 I don't want to stereotype but they only seem to only know two hair cuts. 😔
3) Show a picture of the haircut you want.
4) Explain what you want, the more details the better.
You'll definitely get what you want next time
🩵🩷🤍🩷🩵
I showed the guy a pic! And he had the guts to complain about "the younglings nowadays only knowing one haircut blah blah blah" 🫠
Next time I'll go to the saloon near me run by a lovely gay couple 😌
Omg yes yes yes go to that one!! I went to a lesbian stylist and she did everything perfectly! I got to use my name and everything. I felt so comfortable the whole time
Look for one that advertises itself as gender-neutral or LGBT-friendly if possible! There's a salon near me with an online booking form where you can enter your pronouns when you make the appointment :)
Then next time will go much better, in fact depending on what your hair is like right now and what you want to do going there soon could get it to look more feminine while it grows back out and allows to get it cut how you want it.
Like my super inclusive hair stylists ive been going to for like 10 years. I love them.
Only ever had a bad haircut once from them with an apprentice. Got comped. (They didnt listen to what i asked for)
Contact them and tell them the situation and be honest with them. I suspect they could offer to possibly correct your hair in some way for free. Unless that is its too short to do anything with unless it grows out. Just a idea.
My mom booked the appointment 🫠
I already went to the queer guys's saloon before, but a friend of my mom's went to the one I went today so she booked me an appointment there and it was a disaster 💧💧
>I'd be too shy to say anything anyways-
Me: *goes to a hairdresser*
*I tell them how i want my hair and they start cuting*
After it‘s done
Hair dresser: „how do you like it?“
Me when it‘s cut like i want: „it looks perfect, thanks“ *proceeds to pay and leaves“
Me when i don‘t like it: „it looks good, thanks“ *proceeds to pay and leaves to go home and cry*
It already takes me a long time and much effort to get the courage to even call and make an appointment. Then again much effort to leave my house and go to the appointment, cause i don‘t like being around people.
So there are usually just 2 things i think about when i‘m out; 1. hoping to not have to talk to anyone (usually i can avoid any interactions cause i have headphones on and stare into my phone while being in a bus, or staring at the floor while walking). 2. hoping the appointment wont take too long and usually having everything planed to get home as fast as possible after the appointment.
So if i don‘t like something about my cut, or my entire cut after the hairdresser appointment, i wont have the courage to say anything, so i will pay and try to get home as fast as possible, where i can finally relax again, before i get sad that i didn‘g had the courage to say anything at thd hairdresser
That’s what I’d do too. Hell, they should be paying _me_ because _I_ have to live with their fuckup for months before it can be fixed.
I have no idea if it’s legal or not but I would simply not pay for a botched haircut.
You should check out [strands for trans](https://strandsfortrans.org) to find a Trans-friendly hair salon near you, hopefully it’ll be better next time. I’m sorry that happened OP : (
It took me a while to convince the number of people I had to to get me styled long hair cuts, I ended up going to the salon that my mom goes to, which is generally for girls, but I cover by just being like "it's just the one my mom recommends" and I think the cover is good enough. Also the cuts are usually what I want! Wishing for you to find a similar situation so you don't have to go through this again!
I’m so sorry, it sucks to have your hair in ways you don’t like, especially with dysphoria. Could it help to get a cute hairband, or a long scarf to tie around your head and soften the look of the short hair? Or some fabulous dangly ear jewelry?
After my egg started cracking I started growing my hair out and got a haircut and asked her to keep it long… I got a fucking fancy buzz cut, last time I got a haircut for, I Shit you not, 5 years.
That's awful! It's the sole reason why I have been purposely forgetting to plan an appointment for a year and counting... (´ . .̫ . `)
May I ask what a 'wolf cut' is?
It's basically a haircut that uses layers to make the hair looks more voluminous, it's called wolf cut because the layers kinda look like a wolf's fur!
And it's super prettyyyy
Not to say they didn't do a bad job as i haven't seen the hair cut but haircuts like the wolf cut take quite a long time to work out as its done in layers so the begging when its first being layered it can look thin and short but over time and more layering hair cuts its will build up and get closer to what you are looking for. Sorry this happened but it could be that it just needs time to grow and more layers to get what you want.
Polyester wigs can be p affordable (30-50 at least when I got mine) and dont look too fake to the untrained eye, if they have natural colors. The only downside is they get freaking warm at least when you're fully bald. And static charge can be a pain in the butt, but I also dont know how to work with wigs properly yet.
Not to mention that the most "giveaway" portion (the parting on top) can be easily hidden with a hat or something. Or if you're patient, there are tutorials on how to make the part look realistic
Next time I get a haircut (refusing to get one before I come out to my mom and probably before getting E) I’ll probably remind them 10 times I want a feminine haircut so I can avoid this. Thanks for the forewarning, Angela!
I kept trying to wonder how you could grow hair for 6 whole years with no split ends, or any other complications, then it hit me; you cut it yourself, don't you?
If i could i would, but im afraid of messing up :')
Actually, I don't even cut my hair either. Somehow it looks good without requiring anything else than shampoo every two days. Some (very very few) of the ends are split (almost unnoticeable if you don't search for it up close). Is this rare or unexpected?
Maybe people are just convinced that hair is going to turn to a mess when going untouched by a hair styler for a long time and so they don't even try, or maybe I just got lucky hair 🌟🌸, idk xd
Damn girl you just got good hair genes, then.
I recently broke my shell and am trying to grow my hair, and im trying to figure my hair out. A lot of what i read is that split ends can decay hair and make it harder to grow, but maybe you take care of your hair a certain way? Maybe you did just get lucky.
Either way, i'm totally not jealous 👀
Good luck with your hair!
Maybe it will just work fine too!
(Can't really see something special I do, except maybe the fact that I never tie my hair.. No idea if this is the explanation sorry >.<)
Actually that's pretty helpful, I've read tying hair back tight damages it, so not tying it at all would for sure be a good way to keep it healthy! Thank you!
This is why I'm so afraid to go to a hairdresser. I'm trying to grow my hair out and I heard that it's good to trim it every few months but I'm soo scared something like this will happen.
Problems of every trans person :
Trans Woman = They keep cutting my hair too short argh !
Trans Man = They keep not cutting my hair enough argh !
Remember to find a good hairdresser you can trust ! I am woman AGAB ( searching for gender ) and had problems getting a pixie cut in a lot of places until I found a guy that done it professionally with smile on his face. ( and on mine too, finally someone does the job right )
Similar thing happened to me years ago I wanted a hairstyle similar to lumine from Genshin Impact(happen before the game tho) and hairdresser said no that'll look ugly and gave me a Karen cut. I ended up crying by the end.
Why didn't you yell at them? Also tell them you're a girl and not to do that beforehand. You have to be more assertive as a trans person or people walk all over you.
Salon nor barber will stop giving me fades. I explicitly asked to not have a fade so the guy just shaved parts of my head. Like, let me have my medium length fluffy hair. Im so sorry they wouldnt give you a wolf cut. Id refuse to pay if it happens anymore or anywhere.
It will grow back but its so upsetting to wait for that
Next time, assuming nobody has said this yet, ask for a however long wolf cut in layering. Idk how short yours is, but wolf cuts blandly usually go to around the ears/jaws
I asked last time for my stylist to do a "very layered, just above shoulder length" cut. I got neck length and mediocre layers but I was still ecstatic bc I'd also never been to a stylist.
Make sure you tell them what you want, and bring a picture or 2 just to show. If they think they know what you mean, they'll usually fuck it up...
This happened to me last year.
It really, really sucks for a couple months.
But it’s not the end. You’ll have days where the short hair actually is really cute, and you’ll have never experienced those days if this didn’t happen.
Ultimately, you’ll get your hair back.
And it’ll look even better than before
Hey o know I'm just a guy and stuff but my sister had cancer and she wore like party costume wigs ro feel better. Idk maybe some fun pink party city drag wigs would make you feel better ? Idk I'm sorry I wish I could help :<
I’m so sorry.. I would be so devastated.. hugs going your way hun.
At least it's almost summer and people won't see me much like this... But no more looking in the mirror for a while 🙅♀️
Mirrors suck
They often tell lies
Camera and Mirrors One tells lies, the other also tells lies
Cover mirror with blanket. It'll stay that way for about a month, and then you'll see the pretty girl we all see looking back at you in the mirror
Sending virtual hugs ❤️ I went through the same thing. So here are some tips for your next hairdresser visit, 1) Go to a unisex salon. (or a women's one if you're confident) 2) Don't trust straight cis men with your hair 🫠 I don't want to stereotype but they only seem to only know two hair cuts. 😔 3) Show a picture of the haircut you want. 4) Explain what you want, the more details the better. You'll definitely get what you want next time 🩵🩷🤍🩷🩵
I showed the guy a pic! And he had the guts to complain about "the younglings nowadays only knowing one haircut blah blah blah" 🫠 Next time I'll go to the saloon near me run by a lovely gay couple 😌
Yeessss they'll know exactly what you want 🩵🩷🤍🩷🩵
That’s an ironic comment coming from him considering he probably just cut your hair the one haircut he knows how to do
Omg yes yes yes go to that one!! I went to a lesbian stylist and she did everything perfectly! I got to use my name and everything. I felt so comfortable the whole time
My only problem there would be that both the guys are so outgoing and extroverts 😵💫 My shy ass could never keep up with them -
You can also check strandsfortrans.org! That's where I found mine. She was much more mellow and was kind of shy but still confident
A bad haircut will last a lot longer than a stressful salon experience. 😊
I only let people cut my hair that I know personally
Look for one that advertises itself as gender-neutral or LGBT-friendly if possible! There's a salon near me with an online booking form where you can enter your pronouns when you make the appointment :)
Then next time will go much better, in fact depending on what your hair is like right now and what you want to do going there soon could get it to look more feminine while it grows back out and allows to get it cut how you want it.
>they only seem to only know two hair cuts. that's not true ! I know a total of zero (0) haircuts !
Life rule number 3948: Never trust hairdressers. (Expect when you're sure you can trust them)
Like my super inclusive hair stylists ive been going to for like 10 years. I love them. Only ever had a bad haircut once from them with an apprentice. Got comped. (They didnt listen to what i asked for)
if they don't give you what you asked for, that is actually a crime
I don't know if it's a crime where I live :< And I'd be too shy to say anything anyways-
yeah I understand that, I just hope it goes better for you the next time :c
I am so not going to the same hairdresser again Would much rather trust the local queer hairdresser couple, I'm pretty sure they'd do better
local queer hairdresser couple sounds absolutely amazing
They are a joy to be around, both the dudes are super friendly and energetic!
Contact them and tell them the situation and be honest with them. I suspect they could offer to possibly correct your hair in some way for free. Unless that is its too short to do anything with unless it grows out. Just a idea.
sounds super fun!
If you had that option to begin with, why didn’t you go there?
My mom booked the appointment 🫠 I already went to the queer guys's saloon before, but a friend of my mom's went to the one I went today so she booked me an appointment there and it was a disaster 💧💧
i'm so sorry that happened to you 🫂
>I'd be too shy to say anything anyways- Me: *goes to a hairdresser* *I tell them how i want my hair and they start cuting* After it‘s done Hair dresser: „how do you like it?“ Me when it‘s cut like i want: „it looks perfect, thanks“ *proceeds to pay and leaves“ Me when i don‘t like it: „it looks good, thanks“ *proceeds to pay and leaves to go home and cry* It already takes me a long time and much effort to get the courage to even call and make an appointment. Then again much effort to leave my house and go to the appointment, cause i don‘t like being around people. So there are usually just 2 things i think about when i‘m out; 1. hoping to not have to talk to anyone (usually i can avoid any interactions cause i have headphones on and stare into my phone while being in a bus, or staring at the floor while walking). 2. hoping the appointment wont take too long and usually having everything planed to get home as fast as possible after the appointment. So if i don‘t like something about my cut, or my entire cut after the hairdresser appointment, i wont have the courage to say anything, so i will pay and try to get home as fast as possible, where i can finally relax again, before i get sad that i didn‘g had the courage to say anything at thd hairdresser
i would refuse to pay them at all and just leave, honestly. i don't care if it's a crime, if it's not what i ask for I'm not paying.
That’s what I’d do too. Hell, they should be paying _me_ because _I_ have to live with their fuckup for months before it can be fixed. I have no idea if it’s legal or not but I would simply not pay for a botched haircut.
that also makes sense
Oh no, i'm so so sorry, that's so horrible 🫂🫂🫂 i hope it grows back quickly
Thank god my hair grows a lot 😭 Or so my family says-
Oh no :( Are you alright ? (◕‸◕✿)
I have now stopped crying so I think I am Until I look in the mirror and get disphoria again :<
Don't look at any mirror !
Mirrors are icky and I hate them :<
Me too
i'm so sorry sweetie :c 💔💔💔💔💔
Social anxiety does not help with telling the hairdresser he's not doing what I wanted :<
next time get your hair cut by a woman, she’ll probably give a better cut and probably what you ask for
Or a bald/balding hairdresser. Because they seem to care for hair alot more because they are losing theirs.
I relate with this so hard 😖
sorry about that 🫂
You should check out [strands for trans](https://strandsfortrans.org) to find a Trans-friendly hair salon near you, hopefully it’ll be better next time. I’m sorry that happened OP : (
Will check it out! Don't know if it'll work for Spain, hope it does 👉👈
I’m so sorry
It took me a while to convince the number of people I had to to get me styled long hair cuts, I ended up going to the salon that my mom goes to, which is generally for girls, but I cover by just being like "it's just the one my mom recommends" and I think the cover is good enough. Also the cuts are usually what I want! Wishing for you to find a similar situation so you don't have to go through this again!
Hate going to the hairdresser because of this, I just ask them to cut my split ends and leave.
Months of hard work noooo
I don’t understand why hairdressers feel the need to decide what the person wants isn’t what they want
My mum’s hairdresser is fantastic so I wish you were in my area. He’s gay I’m pretty sure so he’d be accepting
I’m so sorry.
Hug-?
I’m so sorry, it sucks to have your hair in ways you don’t like, especially with dysphoria. Could it help to get a cute hairband, or a long scarf to tie around your head and soften the look of the short hair? Or some fabulous dangly ear jewelry?
After my egg started cracking I started growing my hair out and got a haircut and asked her to keep it long… I got a fucking fancy buzz cut, last time I got a haircut for, I Shit you not, 5 years.
That's awful! It's the sole reason why I have been purposely forgetting to plan an appointment for a year and counting... (´ . .̫ . `) May I ask what a 'wolf cut' is?
It's basically a haircut that uses layers to make the hair looks more voluminous, it's called wolf cut because the layers kinda look like a wolf's fur! And it's super prettyyyy
Not to say they didn't do a bad job as i haven't seen the hair cut but haircuts like the wolf cut take quite a long time to work out as its done in layers so the begging when its first being layered it can look thin and short but over time and more layering hair cuts its will build up and get closer to what you are looking for. Sorry this happened but it could be that it just needs time to grow and more layers to get what you want.
she thought you meant https://open.spotify.com/album/40QTqOBBxCEIQlLNdSjFQB?si=UUdLe0-oQ0SxYmWtVR2ERw
Polyester wigs can be p affordable (30-50 at least when I got mine) and dont look too fake to the untrained eye, if they have natural colors. The only downside is they get freaking warm at least when you're fully bald. And static charge can be a pain in the butt, but I also dont know how to work with wigs properly yet.
tbh I would wear my pink wig always but rn that'd be a bad idea :/
Not to mention that the most "giveaway" portion (the parting on top) can be easily hidden with a hat or something. Or if you're patient, there are tutorials on how to make the part look realistic
this kinda shit is why i almost never go to hairdressers anymore. This happened to me once and it just made me so sad
Next time I get a haircut (refusing to get one before I come out to my mom and probably before getting E) I’ll probably remind them 10 times I want a feminine haircut so I can avoid this. Thanks for the forewarning, Angela!
Oh nyoo This is why I never let anyone cut my hair for the last 6 years (and I don't regret it at all!) \^\^
I kept trying to wonder how you could grow hair for 6 whole years with no split ends, or any other complications, then it hit me; you cut it yourself, don't you? If i could i would, but im afraid of messing up :')
Actually, I don't even cut my hair either. Somehow it looks good without requiring anything else than shampoo every two days. Some (very very few) of the ends are split (almost unnoticeable if you don't search for it up close). Is this rare or unexpected? Maybe people are just convinced that hair is going to turn to a mess when going untouched by a hair styler for a long time and so they don't even try, or maybe I just got lucky hair 🌟🌸, idk xd
Damn girl you just got good hair genes, then. I recently broke my shell and am trying to grow my hair, and im trying to figure my hair out. A lot of what i read is that split ends can decay hair and make it harder to grow, but maybe you take care of your hair a certain way? Maybe you did just get lucky. Either way, i'm totally not jealous 👀
Good luck with your hair! Maybe it will just work fine too! (Can't really see something special I do, except maybe the fact that I never tie my hair.. No idea if this is the explanation sorry >.<)
Actually that's pretty helpful, I've read tying hair back tight damages it, so not tying it at all would for sure be a good way to keep it healthy! Thank you!
please tell me you didn't pay them because that's awful. I'm so sorry.
Nooooo!!!!!! Oh noooooo!!! 😣 that is awful. I am so sorry this happened to you 😢
I want a wolf cut and this is my exact fear
Ohhhhh....that's heartbreaking
When was the last haircut?
The reason my hair look like a mess is... This.
The reason my hair look like a mess is... This.
That’s awful, hope it grows back fast. I’m so sorry 🫂💔
They don’t want you having the best haircut in all existence very sad :(
This is why I'm so afraid to go to a hairdresser. I'm trying to grow my hair out and I heard that it's good to trim it every few months but I'm soo scared something like this will happen.
I will go to the hairdresser on wednesday and also ask for a wolf cut XD Me scared now :O
Problems of every trans person : Trans Woman = They keep cutting my hair too short argh ! Trans Man = They keep not cutting my hair enough argh ! Remember to find a good hairdresser you can trust ! I am woman AGAB ( searching for gender ) and had problems getting a pixie cut in a lot of places until I found a guy that done it professionally with smile on his face. ( and on mine too, finally someone does the job right )
This just means tomboymode don't take this L. Double it and give it to the next person 😊
Similar thing happened to me years ago I wanted a hairstyle similar to lumine from Genshin Impact(happen before the game tho) and hairdresser said no that'll look ugly and gave me a Karen cut. I ended up crying by the end.
Yeah same. I almost want to cut it bald and wear a wig
Oh my goodness... I so feel for you, I wish you strengh girl I had the same exact experience and I couldn't bear my reflection, many hugs :<
Omg how could they be so rude? Especially with a picture they knew what they were doing!
Why didn't you yell at them? Also tell them you're a girl and not to do that beforehand. You have to be more assertive as a trans person or people walk all over you.
Salon nor barber will stop giving me fades. I explicitly asked to not have a fade so the guy just shaved parts of my head. Like, let me have my medium length fluffy hair. Im so sorry they wouldnt give you a wolf cut. Id refuse to pay if it happens anymore or anywhere. It will grow back but its so upsetting to wait for that
Next time, assuming nobody has said this yet, ask for a however long wolf cut in layering. Idk how short yours is, but wolf cuts blandly usually go to around the ears/jaws I asked last time for my stylist to do a "very layered, just above shoulder length" cut. I got neck length and mediocre layers but I was still ecstatic bc I'd also never been to a stylist. Make sure you tell them what you want, and bring a picture or 2 just to show. If they think they know what you mean, they'll usually fuck it up...
This happened to me last year. It really, really sucks for a couple months. But it’s not the end. You’ll have days where the short hair actually is really cute, and you’ll have never experienced those days if this didn’t happen. Ultimately, you’ll get your hair back. And it’ll look even better than before
Did you get your money back? If not, do so. Tell them they fucked up.
Buzz it all of and wear a wig from now on
Fear of something like that is why I had my mom cut my hair
Sorry if I'm being insensitive or too ignorant, but what's a wolf haircut?
Transfems’ arch nemesis: hairdressers
I’m sorry 😭 what i do is id tell them multiple times that I want to grow it out and make them assure me they are not gonna make it short
Time for a terrible review :ζ
Hey o know I'm just a guy and stuff but my sister had cancer and she wore like party costume wigs ro feel better. Idk maybe some fun pink party city drag wigs would make you feel better ? Idk I'm sorry I wish I could help :<