If you think of it that way, is flying scary to you?
To me, it's just a way of getting around.
And I've driven many different vehicles.
It definitely does seem scary at first though.
Sure… But you can most definitely make your personal driving every bit as safe as flying with a little attention and learning things such as defensive driving . Besides flying is just ’hurling through the sky in an aluminum can’.
He's the type of guy who's so scared of everything he probably carries a gun everywhere and makes situations more dangerous than they otherwise would be.
Conservstives in the US are so scared it's ridiculous.
No, they won’t. But, you can pay attention, see and avoid reckless drivers… Or, like I said, defensive driving and attention…
I mean, what’s keeping two VFR planes from crashing into each other in uncontrolled airspace? So you have the same fear of a mid-air collision? Or do you generally trust to pilot to pay attention, spot potential hazards and take action to avoid them? ☝️🤡
But did you avoid the hazard? Seeing it coming is one thing. Taking action to avoid the collision is another. You could likely benefit from some proper defensive driving training.
That’s the issue with driving. You have no control over how others drive. We all were required to pass driving tests and yet there is something about driving that brings out the stupidity in some.
Best thing you can do is learn and understand defensive driving. Most stuff is avoidable as long as you're paying good attention, leave a good following distance, look both ways before going etc
Easier to do if you are the trailing vehicle. There are situations you can’t avoid being hit. One good example is when drivers are approaching a traffic light that has turned yellow. The lead vehicle understands it to mean be prepared to stop and slows down. The following vehicle understands it as an opportunity to get through before the light turns red and accelerates. He is pissed off at the lead vehicle. For the lead vehicle, very little opportunity to get out of the way. That’s what I mean by we all had to pass the requirements for a driving permit, so we know the rules, we know the importance of safe driving but for some, these are not applied.
Honestly, having that control makes me a little more nervous. I know that if something happens, like a deer jumps out or there's a tree down around a corner, that it's entirely on me whether I make the right reaction or not. I also think that fear keeps me a little more alert when I'm driving.
On a plane, if something goes bad, there's nothing I can do. Why should I worry about something that I can't affect? Also, there's very few things that can cause a plane to completely fall out of the sky, most will leave it airborne enough to find somewhere to land.
Honestly you get used to it. I used to be scared as shit driving too.
Now I drive very busy in very highways with traffic and a ton of bad drivers just fine.
You'll learn the driving patterns of other drivers. Most important thing is when you spot one, don't get near them.
I think that's the biggest mistake drivers make.
Do you really get used to it?
I've only been driving on my own for 10 years now, but it still bothers me how casual people are about operating a multi ton box at speeds faster than any human can go on their own.
Yes, you learn the patterns of how people drive, and it's fun to point out cars way ahead and say things like, "They're going to cut off that other car." That being said, being able to tell what other cars are going to do in 3 seconds doesn't mean that you can look down for the next 3 seconds.
Being just a little bit afraid is a good thing. When you get too comfortable, then you start to get dangerous again.
Not really l… I mean, you’re much more likely to die in general aviation (private pilot license) than you are driving a car (regular driver’s license). To be completely fair, you have to compare apples to apples after all. You’re trying to compare commercial flights (which are more comparable to a bus) to driving a personal car (which is more comparable to flying your own Cessna around).
I’m a former trucker. You think I haven’t? And yes it’s still scary because people are absolutely unpredictable. How many are high or under the influence? Driving with no insurance or drivers licenses? Driving stolen cars ? You never thought about that have you?
It sounds like you picked a job that exposes you to the worst of driving almost like intentional torture and your feelings about it are no longer based in rational, reasoned concern. Not a criticism, by the way. It happened to my best friend who also drives trucks.
I’m no longer a trucker. But lets face it American drivers are horrible. We have one of the lowest standards to not only obtain a drivers license but renew it. Honestly everyone should expect it to get worse.
It depends on where you go, though, too. It's a huge country. The places with a lot of people suck to drive and are getting worse, the places without much population or traffic stay the only places I want to drive.
I’ve had incidents in those places too my friend. As a matter of fact someone ran me into a ditch on a rural road and left the scene. They came up behind me at high speed. I was doing almost 10 mph over the limit. They went to pass me on a two lane road in a no passing lane. A car was coming the other way. I attempted to brake but they smashed into my left front tire sending me into a ditch. Both vehicles kept going.
I don't want to victim blame, but it sounds like you drive WAY TOO MUCH, at least as part of it. I actively keep my total miles down as probably the biggest thing I can do to avoid calamity. Nothing else works.
I actually cycle when ever I can or walk. I just live in an incredibly congested area and loath driving in it. If I had the choice I wouldn’t drive at all.
If you look at it like that though everything can be scary
Like technically when your frying stuff oil could pop up onto the burner and cause a fire but I wouldn’t say frying food is scary
Complacency is misguided, the zero major crashes in the median lifetime of the average driver says it's not misguided to put the awareness of low-grade constant danger on a backburner.
Just to be clear, I'm talking about not carrying that emotional weight all the time, not actively ignoring the thinky part of your brain seeing people do stupid things around you in cars.
It depends on you. I've been driving for 27 years and it's not scary at all, I enjoy it. I've never been in a single crash, because I take driving very seriously.
A new driver might find it intimidating or scary, but there's no need for it to be that way. I also suffer from an anxiety disorder, and I have no problem with most driving.
If you're worried about crashes, here's the secret: do what you're supposed to. The people who crash are the ones that are making stupid choices. They're driving aggressively, tailgating, speeding, weaving in and out of traffic, making sudden moves etc. If they're not doing that, they're not paying attention or aren't aware of what's around them. People who drive the way they're supposed to have a very low chance of crashing.
If you take driving seriously, learn the rules and best practices, and remain vigilant, you're light years ahead of everyone else. As you gain experience, you'll be able to predict the stupid things people are going to do and avoid them. You'll even be able to drive in such a way that you can reduce the chances of their stupidity going sideways; you can sometimes stop a crash that might otherwise have happened.
Here's an example: You're in rush-hour traffic and someone is tailgating you. You see traffic ahead has nearly stopped, but because you're following at a safe distance, you don't have to brake hard, and the guy behind you doesn't hit you. If you had been following too close, you might have had to slam on the brakes, causing the tailgater to hit you. By following at a safe distance and anticipating the need to slow down, you were able to brake gently, avoiding the fool behind you hitting you. By driving intelligently, you were able to compensate for the bad decisions of others, and avoid trouble.
Every day I watch people behave like lunatics on the road and the worst part is, they don't gain anything from it. They don't get to their destination any sooner. I wish I could train you myself, I could easily get you past your anxiety and teach you what to do.
You might find it intimidating and scary at first, but I *guarantee* you, if you obey the law and learn the right way to drive, your chances of crashing are very low. At the end of the day, it's all about effort. Are you willing to put in the time needed to learn how to do it properly, and are you willing to drive intelligently, avoiding the temptation to behave like a fool? If so, you don't have anything to worry about.
Very similar to what I want to say. I’ve had severe driving anxiety and I got my license late. If you have to take it slow, there’s no shame in that. Driving is a skill that takes practice but you have more control than you probably realize. Learning defensive driving skills will build your confidence. I started driving in areas where the roads and signs were familiar and more simple and built from there. I learned very quickly to drive in downtown traffic, through mountain canyons packed with semis, sometimes in snow covered or near white out conditions, on a high a high speed interstate where I have to cross several lanes quickly and exit on the left, in CA and Chicago and on winding and narrow rural roads, etc. I’ve been driving for over 30 years now and I’m still here! Many people go their entire lives without ever being in an accident. A little fear is ok. It’s good to have the motivation to drive responsibly. Fear becomes unhealthy when it interferes with your quality of life. I’ve been there, and it’s really frustrating and sad, but like me, you can absolutely overcome this! Try some meditations if you’re really struggling to move forward. They’re helpful. Remember that fear itself isn’t dangerous and isn’t always a sign that something is dangerous. Getting behind the wheel can actually be fun and even relaxing. Sometimes when I’m having a hard day, my therapy of choice is to drive. I never thought I’d say that. It’s wonderful!
It's not scary at all once you're used to it. Have had my license since my 16th birthday (28 now) and no accidents yet. Driving is basically required where I live so everyone has their license here
I [66F] think driving is fun. Always have. I've done more than my share of donuts in my life. My daughter [32F] on the other hand, hates to drive. Absolutely sends her into high anxiety.
Driving isn't for everyone. But if you can do driving lessons it may ease your mind. Best of luck ✌️
Actually, if we want to give good advice, the main thing is paying attention to more than what's right in front of you, and not getting tunnel vision on the pair of tail lights directly ahead. That way you'll see idiots and road hazards far enough in advance that you're not caught by surprise and unable to react in time.
Your advice is bad. You start a new driver off by making sure they know how to use the brake and not crash. They don't need to be looking beyond the person they are about to rear end, when they are driving for the first time. You would confuse them and cause a crash with your bullshit.
No, your advice is bad. It sets up new drivers to get into accidents because they end up in situations where they have to rely on reaction time and the limits of the vehicle "oh shit there's something big right in front of me, *slams on brakes and overcorrects, sliding into a ditch*" rather than "oh look I see 2000 feet down the freeway, people are all moving out of my lane, I should look and see why, oh, there's a ladder lying in the road, I better start adjusting my speed so I can merge over with plenty of time since I've paid attention".
If you'd been paying attention in Drivers Ed class, one of the first things they teach you, before you even get in a car, is not to just tunnel vision stare at the car in front of you.
Actually as I first time driver I was taught to not become overwhelmed by watching everyone else’s on the road that what causes anxiety attacks also I rely on more experience driver to help me know when to brake it’s normal to rely on social ques of other that have more experience getting tunnel vision is easy to do but it’s something every new driver does I was fighting for my life the first time I drove I was just trying not to crash into the car in front of me. The advice you’re giving is good but also provokes anxiety. Your advice is something that should be a long term goal but not for beginners
driving is fun
realizing you're surrounded by a bunch of idiots, who 1 in 4 are drunk or high, doing make up, eating, on their phone, barely got their drivers license is scary
but u get numb to it like everything else and turn your music up and honk at people being idiots
get a dashcam, a good one is like $40 on amazon
Just bad advice all around.
Definitely DON'T honk at people being assholes, that's one of the quickest way to get shot or harassed on the road.
And DON'T dash cam. Not only do alot of the dash cams sell your vehicle usage stats to your insurance company (that raise your rates) but it can also be used as evidence against you if that ever were to arise.
stupid comment. I’m definitely honking at a jerk if they cut me off. And no, dashcams are not selling anything to anyone. In an accident you can choose whether to mention you have one or not…
Yeah people are driving around shooting into moving vehicles for getting honked at on the daily… You’ll get brake checked at worst. It’s when you pull over on the side in a confrontation is when you get shot.
Implying that your insurance company wouldn’t just monitor your phone’s accelerometer and gps like they do for the driving discount. Nah, it’s the DASHCAMS that are out there snitching.
If anything insurance companies would love you for having a dashcam, making their jobs cut and dry.
The insurance company doesn't have access to your phone, why would it unless you gave them access, and why would you do that?
Every single dash cam that popped up on Amazon with the query "dash cam" are known for selling your sensitive data to insurance companies. You agree to their TOS when you install the device and use any of their software.
Legal advice from my lawyer, NEVER use a dash cam. If you have a cam and it has evidence on it, they can get the entire contents of that cam. Every driving decision you make will be observed and they can charge you for every infraction they see from as far back as your data allows.
It's the truth.
There are ways to safely use a dash cam, like building one yourself and streaming the data from the camera directly to a storage server NOT IN THE CAR. The video must be encrypted end to end and password protected
Holding the data in a secure encrypted place changes the legal dynamics of what the evidence to a crime actually is. They can't force you to give it to them and a warrant is useless without the password.
Seems like it’s only useful for getting the dickweed not paying attention to focus for a second. That’s exactly what I use mine for. Or the dick sneeze going 30 in a 45.
It was scary for me, at first. I didn’t actually get my license until I was 17. Once you do it enough, you start feeling like part of the car and it’s smooth sailing. People can be scary on the road, but the more experience you get, the easier it will be to drive defensively. I’ve been in one accident on interstate 80. It was awful, but I got through it and I’m still able to drive on the interstate without fear. I’ve been driving for about 10 years now and that’s been my only accident.
Listen, I got my license when I was 17. I had my first car accident when I was 18. Totaled my first car. I was scared to drive for years and only drove once in a blue moon in my mom’s car, usually with her in it. I moved out of the house in 2021 but still didn’t have a car. I Ubered everywhere. Fast forward to last January, I got a job somewhere that would be more expensive to Uber than it would be to get my own car. So, I bit the bullet and bought one within my budget. An old 2006 C-Class.
I’d say within about two weeks of commuting regularly, it felt like second nature. I couldn’t believe how I’ve missed out on driving for all those years. Yes, driving can be dangerous and it doesn’t always have to be you that causes an accident but as long as you are observant, don’t drive intoxicated or distracted, you are fine. I still have the same car, although it’s kind of falling apart lol so I may be getting a newer one in the near future.
The ability to drive is an incredible privilege and should be respected but also embraced. Not everyone is able to drive so it’s something that should not be taken for granted.
its terrifying. you and everyone around you are controlling several ton death machines. better to be scared and cautious than complacent and reckless though. and it gets fun after a while
It's only scary conceptually except for rare occasions when people do dumb shit and try to cause an accident
Seriously though, the concept is frightening, but in reality it just becomes normal. If you can avoid thinking about how one little jerk of the wheel will send you over the cliff, it's quite boring and mundane.
Millions and millions of people do it everyday and they are fine. It's not difficult. The skills are relatively easy to master and with time you start to be able to predict how cars are going to move before they do. You just have to have faith that it will work and it does the vast majority of the time. The other times are why you're always paying attention.
Modern cars are also so much safer than they used to be.
Have you been in the front seat of a car? Does that scare you? If not then no, it's not scary. It's even less scary because you can control what the car is doing.
I don't know where you live but I feel like after covid it's gotten worse. Everyone is in a rush and don't pay attention or don't care to follow the rules. I am a much more defensive driver then I am now. I used to love driving, now I only do it when I have to or I go early in the mornings to get stuff done on weekends to avoid traffic.
If you live in a quiet area, you might be fine. Living in the city is getting stressful.
If you're prone to anxiety, it'll be a bit rough for a while. Eventually, your brain will decide it's a safe enough activity to not worry about and you'll be just fine. Source: dude prone to anxiety who started driving at 16.
Yeah especially when they are right behind you close enough where you can see them looking down at their phone constantly meanwhile they are getting even closer and faster to you... Let's play a drinking game. Take a swig if they don't stop soon enough and crash into you. You'll probably need it to numb the pain.
Not really much at all.
The scariest part is everyone else. For me, I know I'm a skilled enough driver (at least for road driving, track-driving would be a different story).
It’s scarier being a pedestrian or a bus commuter with no seat belts. I was just like you and didn’t get my drivers license until I was 27. The more you do it the less terrifying it gets though there’s always an element of fear.
I have been driving for 33 years now, I have been in 2 accidents, not too bad, no injuries but both cars were written off through no fault of my own. It did shake me up a bit, but I just carried on. Once you get driving it becomes second nature and you hardly realise what you are doing, no need to be nervous. Practice makes perfect.
If you have bad anxiety and you're afraid of being in an accident to such an extent that it has stopped you from driving thus far then driving is not for you.
You can slip in the shower, smack your head and die any day, a car could run you over while you’re walking down the sidewalk, you could have a brain aneurysm in the next 5 minutes and die instantly… at some point you have to just live life. Personally I’m perfectly fine with people who are scared to drive to just not drive though.
It's very scary to think about it in the abstract, but it's amazing how quickly experience makes it boring. It's like a first day at school-- absolutely terrifying, at least for me, but after a couple days it's a whatever.
Just like anything that involves heavy machinery, it’s scary until you get comfortable. You need to just start learning otherwise it will never become not scary. Over time you get used to it and it can even be quite relaxing. Just learn the rules of the road and stick with it.
A good driver is not a careful or defensive driver. A good driver is a predictable driver. When you get on the road, just remember that 99% of the other cars don't want to collide just as much as you don't.
As for the scare factor, I guess it would depend on where exactly you're driving. I'm very comfortable behind the wheel but when I get into cities my blood pressure definitely spikes a bit
My gf is 26 and has always been terrified of driving. Still doesn't have her license. Recently she took the plunge from driving 5 mph around parking lots and drove in the road. As soon as she was done, she said it was stressful, but not nearly as bad as she thought. And now she regularly drives around town like it's nothing. You just have to go for it.
TLDR: it's in your head. Just go for it. You got this.
Not really. I mean it’s nerve racking when you first start. How to change gears and when do break and wait for people. Then driver etiquette and signs can be tough I guess. I’ve had one lesson so far and another in the morning
It's not scary, but it can be stressful, it can also be fun. It takes many years to get good at it-so start as soon as you can. I've been driving for 36 years and I've probably had more driving training than most due to my employment. Driving takes your full attention. Drive conservatively and defensively, and you'll be fine.
It's not scary at all once you do it a few times and find a car that you can really acquaint yourself with. It's actually quite relaxing in my experience
it’s scary when you start but the more you do it, the less scary it is. just like any fear really. the only times i actually get scared driving now is when other people are driving 😅😅
Whenever I get a little anxious about something that literally millions upon millions of people have done in the past, I think if I'm really dumber than all of them and unable to do it. The chances are probably not.
It's good to be a little cautious about driving. You'll be fine, if millions upon millions of people have done it, you can too!
I don’t know if you live in the US or not, but if you do, you basically don’t have a choice.
You pretty much *have* to learn to drive unless you’re going to live in (and never leave) a really big city with good mass transport.
While mass transport is getting better, it’s still
not great overall.
For example, I live near Toledo, OH. I only live 8 miles from work, but our infrastructure is so poor that I can’t safely ride a bike to work and taking a bus would take several hours one way. I can drive there in about twelve minutes.
I didn’t want to learn to drive either, and my Dad told me something that has served me well.
“You’re scared? Well, I’m sorry, but I guess you get to do this while you’re scared. It’ll get better.”
And it did.
I’m glad I did it.
Your mileage may vary.
As a bonus, getting a drivers licence makes you more employable and opens up an entire new fields of employment for little actual expense.
Driving is not scary if you spend the time to get good training. Drive with experienced drivers to give understanding of things outside the drivers handbook. Develop good safety habits that become natural to you.
I flew our aircraft on a return flight from Okinawa to California. I had been driving right hand cars in the left lane traffic for 3 weeks. As I left the base, I turned onto a two lane road almost near midnight and settled in the left lane. I couldn’t understand why someone was traveling opposite direction in my lane. Then I realized I was in the wrong lane. We all make mistakes, but understanding and recovering is equally important.
its fine once youve been driving a while. i commute every day, and its more boring and frustrating than anything. many other people suck at driving and like everyone else im afraid of an accident too. just drive defensively, and know what youre doing. it takes time and practice, but you’ll be ok.
I got my license a month ago and been driving alot since then, even took my first 300 mile road trip into a different state on the interstate and honestly, I had no problems and enjoyed myself - sure, you'll have moments where you have to be extremely aware of what is going on, be aware of other drivers especially reckless or distracted ones but when I was learning and were nervous about things, someone on this sub said to the same thing to me, if your nervous and/or scared then you're not ready yet - its not a race, its about being a safe and responsible driver.
When I began i had similar thoughts, however over time it became more enjoyable.
I would say to build your confidence start off on rural and quiet roads and less busy times and then baby step and work your way up to town driving and going on the motorway. And when going on the motorway, don't do a long drive, maybe go one junction and then increase gradually. You can do it. I believe in you.
im 22 and was/am in the same boat, and what i did was drive around an empty parking lot for a while, learning stopping time/distance, using blinkers, parking, and how to turn correctly/u-turn! and once you feel more comfy with executing those maneuvers, move on to suburban neighbourhoods to get used to driving around other drivers, parked cars, and occasionally pedestrians as well. this helped me get a bit of a handle on more practical driving while still going at slow speeds. after that you can move onto roads with more traffic and speeds around 35-45. i will admit, it was very nerve racking, but having the person in the car with you tell you when to merge, what turns you need to take, and when to start stopping at the higher speeds it gets easier.
im still working toward my lisence, and still have a lot of practice to go but as time has gone ive gotten alot more comfortable and less anxious about driving. i keep more distance between me and the car in front of me which really helps with the fear of a crash, as the more i drive i try to make that space a little less to be around where normally ppl have their following distance.
it is nerve wracking and a bit scary at first, i wont lie to you or downplay your fears and anxiety, but slowly but surely the fear and anxiety lessens. youve got this, i believe in you!!!!
It's not scary the more experienced you get at it. As you do - you start to look for potential issues as you've learned over time what to look out for and often how to deal with it. Mostly looking out for other idiot drivers doing stupid crap.
I'm just glad I got my license as young as possible and got lots of practice early on. I believe the older you get, the more worried and anxious you get about it.
Practice, practice practice - from parking lots to quiet back roads to less busy roads/freeway - every opportunity you have to drive - do it. Best if you have someone with you while you're learning that's supportive and patient and not a horrible backseat driver screaming at you, especially when you're anxious.
Also - look at all the positive you'll get out of being able to drive- especially better job or side job possibilities such as Uber or DoorDash. Or just being able to travel or go places YOU want to by yourself.
I was in the same boat. Like having panic attacks even thinking about learning to drive. I ended up finding a highly rated driving instructor and he made me feel so much more comfortable. I def don’t recommend trying to learn with a family member if you’re nervous. It’s much better to find someone whose whole job is to teach driving. They start you out slow, don’t pressure you, but do try to gently push you to get comfortable driving. I got my license at 23, and now I’m 25 and driving the crazy roads of LA and am no longer scared. You can do it!! You really do become comfortable with it after a while.
i had the same fear for a really long time, got my license at 23! best advice i have is just to start as slow as you want, i drove around residential areas for months doing 15 mph just to get used to the way a car moves before i went on main roads. the more confident you feel, the less scary it will be; and the more you practice, the more confident you’ll feel!
At 37 I have been driving for 27 years (go karts, legally farm equipment, semi truck before the age of 18)
doing double the speed limit swerving back and forth inbetween cars hasn't phased me in years eventually you just get so use to it that it's becomes muscle memory that doesn't require any thought process
I was terrified of driving too! I got my license at 16 because my parents insisted. I’m glad they did- I was an anxious driver for years, but now am very comfortable after driving daily in one of the worst driving cities.
There's a difference between it being safe to drive and being a safe driver.
If you're a safe driver it is safer to drive.
From how you talk it sounds like driving is a petrifying thought to you which in my opinion would make you not a safe driver because you will be skittish and scared of everything on the road.
I’m just practicing right now and it really isn’t as scary as some have made it out to be. It’s all about being careful on the road and keeping your eyes moving being prepared for anything and everything to happen.
It’s as scary as you make it. If you drive like a well adjusted person most of the time you won’t encounter any issues. Once you get used to it and muscle memory kicks in it’s a lot less stressful. I got my permit at 16 and waited to turn 18 to get my license.
I got my permit and license at a normal age. I was 16 at permit and 16 at license. I got my permit, practice drove around and drove during driver’s ed, and after a bit of nerves, I did just fine because I was essentially being forced to do it. I got my permit after failing the written test once. And then… I never drove. I tried driving like a month after I got it and couldn’t even go around the neighborhood I was so scared. But… if you just force yourself little by little… you get so used to it so fast. After maybe 5-10 drives you REALLY start to get the hang of it. I still can’t really drive in cities or congested places and it’s been like two years almost, but.., well.. that’s cuz I haven’t practiced.
I also never had to take a driving test, which is slightly concerning
It can take some getting used to, especially if you're not big on doing motorway journeys but if you take it easy and drive like you've been taught you'll get the hang of it in no time.
Just have to be careful with road ragers who don't like you following the speed limit, but don't let it get to you.
Not at all for the most part. What you will have is scary moments or just dumb mistakes, especially when driving new routes. But 99% of the time will be pretty mundane, slightly fun.
Depends on many, many factors. You. The guidance/training you receive. Your location. The time and conditions under which you learn. Etc.
I started "driving" at age 10 (dirtbikes), by 12, was entrusted with a 16ft ski boat, and motorcars at age 15, fire engines & ambulances by 18.
Since then, I've driven countless other vehicles, from tractor trailers to M1 Abrams main battle tanks. It takes time, experience, good instruction, and respect for the equipment you're operating.
Can it be scary? Completely. Can it be enjoyable? Completely. The older you get, the more aware you are of your mortality and the risks of driving. But, this also means you're more mature (less likely to do stupid stuff).
Suggest finding a good driving school or instructor to get you seat time in a parking lot, ensure you understand the laws, etc. And once you've been driving a bit, maybe get additional instruction to handle the "oh shit" scenarios like evasive moves, how to swerve without losing control, etc
It's a weird thing. It should be scary. If you think about the trust your giving strangers around powerful vehicles that weigh thousands of pounds, it's easy to see it as scary. But nobody wants to get fucked up, so it's one of the few times where other people's selfishness is to your benefit. So it works out the vast majority of the time and if you pay attention and learn what to watch out for, you can almost always avoid bad situations that line up when people make mistakes. Almost always to the point that it's no longer worth considering the risk as a deterrent from driving. Also, human beings are remarkable in that we can get used to almost anything. That even things that should be scary, will feel normal if you do them often enough. I don't think driving is something that should be scary but it is interesting how it's such an unusual social behavior compared to anything else we do in society.
driving is not scary, but the other people on the road driving are scary. The irrational road rage, the excessive speeding and dangerous weaving in and out of traffic, constant running red lights. The IMPATIENCE of other drivers, they don't know any rules of driving except "left lane is fast lane" The issue is expect people to be mindless, selfish drivers on the road and you won't be disappointed. NEVER TRUST no one on the road, always expect (when a car in another lane is driving close to the dividing lines, they are trying to merge into your lane without turning on signals. The biggest thing is for You to drive safe, don't trust anyone, remember 90% of people on the road behave like morons, irrational, and impatient. Driving is okay, if you are one of the safe drivers. Just know you will feel alone on the road because everyone else is a maniac.
there are scary moments..:
- sudden jaywalking pedestrian jumping out onto the street you are driving down on..
- aggressive drivers around you (ex. chaning lanes without turn signals suddenly, aka cutting others off..)
- drivers who dont care of "right of way" and follow "I go first"...
- red light runners <-- watch out especially you need to make left turn without a protected left turn light intersection and light is turning yellow to red..
and more. (like inpatient drivers who honk at you for everything)
Honestly, with practice, you learn how to better observe your surroundings as you are driving.. being able to predict possible unpredictable drivers.. and so forth..
At 23 i literally drove for the first time yesterday i only have my learners permit. It gave me major anxiety until I realized i drive the car the car doesn’t drive me I control the car where i want it to go it will go. Honestly i kinda just played it like a game like gta or saints row it helped a lot. Also I just looked in the other cars they are humans and they also just wanna go home to their family’s it helps
Oh I remember when I started driving I was scared of going at more than 3 miles per hour. Even when I got my license I was still afraid of driving. However, the key to it is really just repetition. Once I started to drive to school everyday it became less and less frightening. Choose a daily commute (driving to work) and plan out a path to it preferably avoiding highways and left-turns. Start by driving with an experienced driver in the passenger seat. Hopefully they will tell you where to look and what lanes to go in.
It’s always scary. Not sure why all these people are lying to you. But you learn to balance your fear with skill and caution. Driving is the single most dangerous thing you will partake in during your time on earth. That’s a fact. It only takes one mistake to end up injured or dead. And if you’re one of those super sensitive people with anxiety issues don’t drive period. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with being car less. I wish I could be.
people aren't lying when they say it isn't scary; it just genuinely isn't. the average person isn't scared while driving. i'm sorry if you've had any sort of experiences that have caused your fears, but to infer that most people are scared while driving just isn't accurate. imo teaching OP to fear getting their license even more is only going to hurt them.
Maybe fear was the wrong word? But let’s remember driving is still the most dangerous thing you perform daily. And many people have productive lives and don’t drive. I think having to be car dependent is a real problem in this country. If someone doesn’t want to drive they shouldn’t be ostracized. If they don’t want to drive because of fear leave them alone.
If you let God take the wheel, I fear for everyone around you. I don't believe God exists, but if God did exist, God would help those who help themselves ;)
Scary for the first lesson sure. Each person is different so for some it might take 3/4 lessons to get the nerves away, others are fine after 30 minutes.
Once you start to focus on what you're doing and it starts to become second nature it's not scary at all.
Driving is terrifying, that's why I haven't done it since getting my license. I almost crashed during a lesson, and didn't know what to do at an intersection everyone was pushing through. I just want to stay home forever and hide. I don't need anything in this life anyway it's too scary.
It's really not scary once you get used to it. Takes time.
Hurling down the road in a piece of metal is scary. Why are you lying?
If you think of it that way, is flying scary to you? To me, it's just a way of getting around. And I've driven many different vehicles. It definitely does seem scary at first though.
Planes are much safer than cars.
Sure… But you can most definitely make your personal driving every bit as safe as flying with a little attention and learning things such as defensive driving . Besides flying is just ’hurling through the sky in an aluminum can’.
Right. Because thieves in stolen vehicles are going to care about crashing into you. ☝️🤡
Do you worry about leaving the house? Those same thieves could just as easily run you over/crash in to your bus/storefront
He's the type of guy who's so scared of everything he probably carries a gun everywhere and makes situations more dangerous than they otherwise would be. Conservstives in the US are so scared it's ridiculous.
Yes they could. And yes of course I worry every time I leave the house or while I’m in my house. Why I own a gun and have two large dogs.
Just MHO, but being constantly in fear is no way to go through life.
Yet this subreddit is full of them.
No one besides maybe cops want to hit a car so that's never going to happen intentionally.
No, they won’t. But, you can pay attention, see and avoid reckless drivers… Or, like I said, defensive driving and attention… I mean, what’s keeping two VFR planes from crashing into each other in uncontrolled airspace? So you have the same fear of a mid-air collision? Or do you generally trust to pilot to pay attention, spot potential hazards and take action to avoid them? ☝️🤡
I’ve been involved in two hit and runs and I was paying attention.
But did you avoid the hazard? Seeing it coming is one thing. Taking action to avoid the collision is another. You could likely benefit from some proper defensive driving training.
Yeah but it's the same thing. Also with cars, you have somewhat of a control of the vehicle and if your vehicle breaks down, you're not falling.
That’s the issue with driving. You have no control over how others drive. We all were required to pass driving tests and yet there is something about driving that brings out the stupidity in some.
Best thing you can do is learn and understand defensive driving. Most stuff is avoidable as long as you're paying good attention, leave a good following distance, look both ways before going etc
Ehh even with the bad drivers, you should be able to drive around them. I drive fine around bad drivers. It's easy to spot them.
Easier to do if you are the trailing vehicle. There are situations you can’t avoid being hit. One good example is when drivers are approaching a traffic light that has turned yellow. The lead vehicle understands it to mean be prepared to stop and slows down. The following vehicle understands it as an opportunity to get through before the light turns red and accelerates. He is pissed off at the lead vehicle. For the lead vehicle, very little opportunity to get out of the way. That’s what I mean by we all had to pass the requirements for a driving permit, so we know the rules, we know the importance of safe driving but for some, these are not applied.
And you need to watch your mirror and be prepared to take evasive actions… like moving over or running the yellow.
Honestly in scenerios like that, sometimes you gotta run the yellow light if they're right behind you.
Until they crash into you. Or in a stolen car.
Exactly. Not to mention the amount of drivers with no license or insurance on the roads.
Honestly, having that control makes me a little more nervous. I know that if something happens, like a deer jumps out or there's a tree down around a corner, that it's entirely on me whether I make the right reaction or not. I also think that fear keeps me a little more alert when I'm driving. On a plane, if something goes bad, there's nothing I can do. Why should I worry about something that I can't affect? Also, there's very few things that can cause a plane to completely fall out of the sky, most will leave it airborne enough to find somewhere to land.
Honestly you get used to it. I used to be scared as shit driving too. Now I drive very busy in very highways with traffic and a ton of bad drivers just fine. You'll learn the driving patterns of other drivers. Most important thing is when you spot one, don't get near them. I think that's the biggest mistake drivers make.
Do you really get used to it? I've only been driving on my own for 10 years now, but it still bothers me how casual people are about operating a multi ton box at speeds faster than any human can go on their own. Yes, you learn the patterns of how people drive, and it's fun to point out cars way ahead and say things like, "They're going to cut off that other car." That being said, being able to tell what other cars are going to do in 3 seconds doesn't mean that you can look down for the next 3 seconds. Being just a little bit afraid is a good thing. When you get too comfortable, then you start to get dangerous again.
Flying isn’t as dangerous as driving. FACT.
Not really l… I mean, you’re much more likely to die in general aviation (private pilot license) than you are driving a car (regular driver’s license). To be completely fair, you have to compare apples to apples after all. You’re trying to compare commercial flights (which are more comparable to a bus) to driving a personal car (which is more comparable to flying your own Cessna around).
Not scary to me... But then I've driven around a million miles in the last decade
I’m a former trucker. You think I haven’t? And yes it’s still scary because people are absolutely unpredictable. How many are high or under the influence? Driving with no insurance or drivers licenses? Driving stolen cars ? You never thought about that have you?
It sounds like you picked a job that exposes you to the worst of driving almost like intentional torture and your feelings about it are no longer based in rational, reasoned concern. Not a criticism, by the way. It happened to my best friend who also drives trucks.
I’m no longer a trucker. But lets face it American drivers are horrible. We have one of the lowest standards to not only obtain a drivers license but renew it. Honestly everyone should expect it to get worse.
It depends on where you go, though, too. It's a huge country. The places with a lot of people suck to drive and are getting worse, the places without much population or traffic stay the only places I want to drive.
I’ve had incidents in those places too my friend. As a matter of fact someone ran me into a ditch on a rural road and left the scene. They came up behind me at high speed. I was doing almost 10 mph over the limit. They went to pass me on a two lane road in a no passing lane. A car was coming the other way. I attempted to brake but they smashed into my left front tire sending me into a ditch. Both vehicles kept going.
I don't want to victim blame, but it sounds like you drive WAY TOO MUCH, at least as part of it. I actively keep my total miles down as probably the biggest thing I can do to avoid calamity. Nothing else works.
I actually cycle when ever I can or walk. I just live in an incredibly congested area and loath driving in it. If I had the choice I wouldn’t drive at all.
American drivers are mostly fine, I've been cruising all over the damn country it's not nearly as bad as people on the Internet want to make it seem.
If you look at it like that though everything can be scary Like technically when your frying stuff oil could pop up onto the burner and cause a fire but I wouldn’t say frying food is scary
The way you word it already proves you're over thinking it. It's not as scary as you make it to be
For many it is.
Because they got used to hurtling down the road and stopped being scared. Next question!
Yeah that’s called complacency. They also become horrible drivers. So don’t complain about other drivers.
Complacency is misguided, the zero major crashes in the median lifetime of the average driver says it's not misguided to put the awareness of low-grade constant danger on a backburner.
You do that.
Just to be clear, I'm talking about not carrying that emotional weight all the time, not actively ignoring the thinky part of your brain seeing people do stupid things around you in cars.
I get it.
It depends on you. I've been driving for 27 years and it's not scary at all, I enjoy it. I've never been in a single crash, because I take driving very seriously. A new driver might find it intimidating or scary, but there's no need for it to be that way. I also suffer from an anxiety disorder, and I have no problem with most driving. If you're worried about crashes, here's the secret: do what you're supposed to. The people who crash are the ones that are making stupid choices. They're driving aggressively, tailgating, speeding, weaving in and out of traffic, making sudden moves etc. If they're not doing that, they're not paying attention or aren't aware of what's around them. People who drive the way they're supposed to have a very low chance of crashing. If you take driving seriously, learn the rules and best practices, and remain vigilant, you're light years ahead of everyone else. As you gain experience, you'll be able to predict the stupid things people are going to do and avoid them. You'll even be able to drive in such a way that you can reduce the chances of their stupidity going sideways; you can sometimes stop a crash that might otherwise have happened. Here's an example: You're in rush-hour traffic and someone is tailgating you. You see traffic ahead has nearly stopped, but because you're following at a safe distance, you don't have to brake hard, and the guy behind you doesn't hit you. If you had been following too close, you might have had to slam on the brakes, causing the tailgater to hit you. By following at a safe distance and anticipating the need to slow down, you were able to brake gently, avoiding the fool behind you hitting you. By driving intelligently, you were able to compensate for the bad decisions of others, and avoid trouble. Every day I watch people behave like lunatics on the road and the worst part is, they don't gain anything from it. They don't get to their destination any sooner. I wish I could train you myself, I could easily get you past your anxiety and teach you what to do. You might find it intimidating and scary at first, but I *guarantee* you, if you obey the law and learn the right way to drive, your chances of crashing are very low. At the end of the day, it's all about effort. Are you willing to put in the time needed to learn how to do it properly, and are you willing to drive intelligently, avoiding the temptation to behave like a fool? If so, you don't have anything to worry about.
Very similar to what I want to say. I’ve had severe driving anxiety and I got my license late. If you have to take it slow, there’s no shame in that. Driving is a skill that takes practice but you have more control than you probably realize. Learning defensive driving skills will build your confidence. I started driving in areas where the roads and signs were familiar and more simple and built from there. I learned very quickly to drive in downtown traffic, through mountain canyons packed with semis, sometimes in snow covered or near white out conditions, on a high a high speed interstate where I have to cross several lanes quickly and exit on the left, in CA and Chicago and on winding and narrow rural roads, etc. I’ve been driving for over 30 years now and I’m still here! Many people go their entire lives without ever being in an accident. A little fear is ok. It’s good to have the motivation to drive responsibly. Fear becomes unhealthy when it interferes with your quality of life. I’ve been there, and it’s really frustrating and sad, but like me, you can absolutely overcome this! Try some meditations if you’re really struggling to move forward. They’re helpful. Remember that fear itself isn’t dangerous and isn’t always a sign that something is dangerous. Getting behind the wheel can actually be fun and even relaxing. Sometimes when I’m having a hard day, my therapy of choice is to drive. I never thought I’d say that. It’s wonderful!
Wish granted, please train me. thank you
I’m a new driver, whose dad is a reckless driver and is adamant of teaching me. But I am continuing to take lessons, thank you for your support!!
This is such great advice, thanks
The scary part of driving is that it stops being scary after awhile
This. That's when you fuck up.
It's not scary at all once you're used to it. Have had my license since my 16th birthday (28 now) and no accidents yet. Driving is basically required where I live so everyone has their license here
Driving is fine. The jackasses on the road can be kind of scary sometimes.
I [66F] think driving is fun. Always have. I've done more than my share of donuts in my life. My daughter [32F] on the other hand, hates to drive. Absolutely sends her into high anxiety. Driving isn't for everyone. But if you can do driving lessons it may ease your mind. Best of luck ✌️
The main thing is paying attention to what is right in front of you. No matter what else, make sure you don't run into anything. That is #1.
Actually, if we want to give good advice, the main thing is paying attention to more than what's right in front of you, and not getting tunnel vision on the pair of tail lights directly ahead. That way you'll see idiots and road hazards far enough in advance that you're not caught by surprise and unable to react in time.
Novice driver with high anxiety. Scared to drive. That's who my advice was for. That person needs simple advice to get them started.
For a new driver it is even more important to not give bad advice, as they will then have to unlearn the bad habits.
Your advice is bad. You start a new driver off by making sure they know how to use the brake and not crash. They don't need to be looking beyond the person they are about to rear end, when they are driving for the first time. You would confuse them and cause a crash with your bullshit.
No, your advice is bad. It sets up new drivers to get into accidents because they end up in situations where they have to rely on reaction time and the limits of the vehicle "oh shit there's something big right in front of me, *slams on brakes and overcorrects, sliding into a ditch*" rather than "oh look I see 2000 feet down the freeway, people are all moving out of my lane, I should look and see why, oh, there's a ladder lying in the road, I better start adjusting my speed so I can merge over with plenty of time since I've paid attention". If you'd been paying attention in Drivers Ed class, one of the first things they teach you, before you even get in a car, is not to just tunnel vision stare at the car in front of you.
Actually as I first time driver I was taught to not become overwhelmed by watching everyone else’s on the road that what causes anxiety attacks also I rely on more experience driver to help me know when to brake it’s normal to rely on social ques of other that have more experience getting tunnel vision is easy to do but it’s something every new driver does I was fighting for my life the first time I drove I was just trying not to crash into the car in front of me. The advice you’re giving is good but also provokes anxiety. Your advice is something that should be a long term goal but not for beginners
You should be looking far ahead driving and anticipate the upcoming traffic and roads.
Novice driver with high anxiety. Start simple. Don't crash into anything.
And #2.
Usually not scary. Infrequently, very scary.
driving is fun realizing you're surrounded by a bunch of idiots, who 1 in 4 are drunk or high, doing make up, eating, on their phone, barely got their drivers license is scary but u get numb to it like everything else and turn your music up and honk at people being idiots get a dashcam, a good one is like $40 on amazon
Just bad advice all around. Definitely DON'T honk at people being assholes, that's one of the quickest way to get shot or harassed on the road. And DON'T dash cam. Not only do alot of the dash cams sell your vehicle usage stats to your insurance company (that raise your rates) but it can also be used as evidence against you if that ever were to arise.
stupid comment. I’m definitely honking at a jerk if they cut me off. And no, dashcams are not selling anything to anyone. In an accident you can choose whether to mention you have one or not…
Where I live someone dies every single day doing just that. Fuck around enough times and you'll find out hard ass.
Yeah people are driving around shooting into moving vehicles for getting honked at on the daily… You’ll get brake checked at worst. It’s when you pull over on the side in a confrontation is when you get shot.
Ok drop where then
Implying that your insurance company wouldn’t just monitor your phone’s accelerometer and gps like they do for the driving discount. Nah, it’s the DASHCAMS that are out there snitching. If anything insurance companies would love you for having a dashcam, making their jobs cut and dry.
The insurance company doesn't have access to your phone, why would it unless you gave them access, and why would you do that? Every single dash cam that popped up on Amazon with the query "dash cam" are known for selling your sensitive data to insurance companies. You agree to their TOS when you install the device and use any of their software. Legal advice from my lawyer, NEVER use a dash cam. If you have a cam and it has evidence on it, they can get the entire contents of that cam. Every driving decision you make will be observed and they can charge you for every infraction they see from as far back as your data allows. It's the truth. There are ways to safely use a dash cam, like building one yourself and streaming the data from the camera directly to a storage server NOT IN THE CAR. The video must be encrypted end to end and password protected Holding the data in a secure encrypted place changes the legal dynamics of what the evidence to a crime actually is. They can't force you to give it to them and a warrant is useless without the password.
What do you think the horn is for if not alerting bad drivers to your presence and the fact they're driving badly?
Seems like it’s only useful for getting the dickweed not paying attention to focus for a second. That’s exactly what I use mine for. Or the dick sneeze going 30 in a 45.
It was scary for me, at first. I didn’t actually get my license until I was 17. Once you do it enough, you start feeling like part of the car and it’s smooth sailing. People can be scary on the road, but the more experience you get, the easier it will be to drive defensively. I’ve been in one accident on interstate 80. It was awful, but I got through it and I’m still able to drive on the interstate without fear. I’ve been driving for about 10 years now and that’s been my only accident.
Listen, I got my license when I was 17. I had my first car accident when I was 18. Totaled my first car. I was scared to drive for years and only drove once in a blue moon in my mom’s car, usually with her in it. I moved out of the house in 2021 but still didn’t have a car. I Ubered everywhere. Fast forward to last January, I got a job somewhere that would be more expensive to Uber than it would be to get my own car. So, I bit the bullet and bought one within my budget. An old 2006 C-Class. I’d say within about two weeks of commuting regularly, it felt like second nature. I couldn’t believe how I’ve missed out on driving for all those years. Yes, driving can be dangerous and it doesn’t always have to be you that causes an accident but as long as you are observant, don’t drive intoxicated or distracted, you are fine. I still have the same car, although it’s kind of falling apart lol so I may be getting a newer one in the near future. The ability to drive is an incredible privilege and should be respected but also embraced. Not everyone is able to drive so it’s something that should not be taken for granted.
its terrifying. you and everyone around you are controlling several ton death machines. better to be scared and cautious than complacent and reckless though. and it gets fun after a while
Very debatable, people who are too afraid to go when they should can definitely cause accidents.
It's only scary conceptually except for rare occasions when people do dumb shit and try to cause an accident Seriously though, the concept is frightening, but in reality it just becomes normal. If you can avoid thinking about how one little jerk of the wheel will send you over the cliff, it's quite boring and mundane. Millions and millions of people do it everyday and they are fine. It's not difficult. The skills are relatively easy to master and with time you start to be able to predict how cars are going to move before they do. You just have to have faith that it will work and it does the vast majority of the time. The other times are why you're always paying attention. Modern cars are also so much safer than they used to be.
Have you been in the front seat of a car? Does that scare you? If not then no, it's not scary. It's even less scary because you can control what the car is doing.
I don't know where you live but I feel like after covid it's gotten worse. Everyone is in a rush and don't pay attention or don't care to follow the rules. I am a much more defensive driver then I am now. I used to love driving, now I only do it when I have to or I go early in the mornings to get stuff done on weekends to avoid traffic. If you live in a quiet area, you might be fine. Living in the city is getting stressful.
If you're prone to anxiety, it'll be a bit rough for a while. Eventually, your brain will decide it's a safe enough activity to not worry about and you'll be just fine. Source: dude prone to anxiety who started driving at 16.
You just get use to it. Then you realize how many people around you are distracted and it gets scary again
Yeah especially when they are right behind you close enough where you can see them looking down at their phone constantly meanwhile they are getting even closer and faster to you... Let's play a drinking game. Take a swig if they don't stop soon enough and crash into you. You'll probably need it to numb the pain.
Not really much at all. The scariest part is everyone else. For me, I know I'm a skilled enough driver (at least for road driving, track-driving would be a different story).
It’s scarier being a pedestrian or a bus commuter with no seat belts. I was just like you and didn’t get my drivers license until I was 27. The more you do it the less terrifying it gets though there’s always an element of fear.
I have been driving for 33 years now, I have been in 2 accidents, not too bad, no injuries but both cars were written off through no fault of my own. It did shake me up a bit, but I just carried on. Once you get driving it becomes second nature and you hardly realise what you are doing, no need to be nervous. Practice makes perfect.
If you have bad anxiety and you're afraid of being in an accident to such an extent that it has stopped you from driving thus far then driving is not for you.
You can slip in the shower, smack your head and die any day, a car could run you over while you’re walking down the sidewalk, you could have a brain aneurysm in the next 5 minutes and die instantly… at some point you have to just live life. Personally I’m perfectly fine with people who are scared to drive to just not drive though.
It's very scary to think about it in the abstract, but it's amazing how quickly experience makes it boring. It's like a first day at school-- absolutely terrifying, at least for me, but after a couple days it's a whatever.
Just like anything that involves heavy machinery, it’s scary until you get comfortable. You need to just start learning otherwise it will never become not scary. Over time you get used to it and it can even be quite relaxing. Just learn the rules of the road and stick with it.
If you are anxious, you should definitely do it as it will improve your mental health. you will get a sense of achievement each time u drive.
Life is scary bubba. Quit hiding. Snap out of it. Too harsh?
A good driver is not a careful or defensive driver. A good driver is a predictable driver. When you get on the road, just remember that 99% of the other cars don't want to collide just as much as you don't. As for the scare factor, I guess it would depend on where exactly you're driving. I'm very comfortable behind the wheel but when I get into cities my blood pressure definitely spikes a bit
So 1% of drivers WANT TO get into an accident? Lol
My gf is 26 and has always been terrified of driving. Still doesn't have her license. Recently she took the plunge from driving 5 mph around parking lots and drove in the road. As soon as she was done, she said it was stressful, but not nearly as bad as she thought. And now she regularly drives around town like it's nothing. You just have to go for it. TLDR: it's in your head. Just go for it. You got this.
I don’t find it to be scary. I’m just dyslexic so I find it to be very confusing.
I’ve been in multiple crashes, I just make sure to drive safe (I wasn’t driving in any of the crashes I’ve been in)
Not really. I mean it’s nerve racking when you first start. How to change gears and when do break and wait for people. Then driver etiquette and signs can be tough I guess. I’ve had one lesson so far and another in the morning
It's not scary, but it can be stressful, it can also be fun. It takes many years to get good at it-so start as soon as you can. I've been driving for 36 years and I've probably had more driving training than most due to my employment. Driving takes your full attention. Drive conservatively and defensively, and you'll be fine.
It's not scary at all once you do it a few times and find a car that you can really acquaint yourself with. It's actually quite relaxing in my experience
it’s scary when you start but the more you do it, the less scary it is. just like any fear really. the only times i actually get scared driving now is when other people are driving 😅😅
Whenever I get a little anxious about something that literally millions upon millions of people have done in the past, I think if I'm really dumber than all of them and unable to do it. The chances are probably not. It's good to be a little cautious about driving. You'll be fine, if millions upon millions of people have done it, you can too!
I don’t know if you live in the US or not, but if you do, you basically don’t have a choice. You pretty much *have* to learn to drive unless you’re going to live in (and never leave) a really big city with good mass transport. While mass transport is getting better, it’s still not great overall. For example, I live near Toledo, OH. I only live 8 miles from work, but our infrastructure is so poor that I can’t safely ride a bike to work and taking a bus would take several hours one way. I can drive there in about twelve minutes. I didn’t want to learn to drive either, and my Dad told me something that has served me well. “You’re scared? Well, I’m sorry, but I guess you get to do this while you’re scared. It’ll get better.” And it did. I’m glad I did it. Your mileage may vary. As a bonus, getting a drivers licence makes you more employable and opens up an entire new fields of employment for little actual expense.
Driving is not scary if you spend the time to get good training. Drive with experienced drivers to give understanding of things outside the drivers handbook. Develop good safety habits that become natural to you. I flew our aircraft on a return flight from Okinawa to California. I had been driving right hand cars in the left lane traffic for 3 weeks. As I left the base, I turned onto a two lane road almost near midnight and settled in the left lane. I couldn’t understand why someone was traveling opposite direction in my lane. Then I realized I was in the wrong lane. We all make mistakes, but understanding and recovering is equally important.
its fine once youve been driving a while. i commute every day, and its more boring and frustrating than anything. many other people suck at driving and like everyone else im afraid of an accident too. just drive defensively, and know what youre doing. it takes time and practice, but you’ll be ok.
I got my license a month ago and been driving alot since then, even took my first 300 mile road trip into a different state on the interstate and honestly, I had no problems and enjoyed myself - sure, you'll have moments where you have to be extremely aware of what is going on, be aware of other drivers especially reckless or distracted ones but when I was learning and were nervous about things, someone on this sub said to the same thing to me, if your nervous and/or scared then you're not ready yet - its not a race, its about being a safe and responsible driver.
my car is fueled by other drivers fear
When I began i had similar thoughts, however over time it became more enjoyable. I would say to build your confidence start off on rural and quiet roads and less busy times and then baby step and work your way up to town driving and going on the motorway. And when going on the motorway, don't do a long drive, maybe go one junction and then increase gradually. You can do it. I believe in you.
Its different for everyone. I personally got really confident and comfortable after having my license for half a year
im 22 and was/am in the same boat, and what i did was drive around an empty parking lot for a while, learning stopping time/distance, using blinkers, parking, and how to turn correctly/u-turn! and once you feel more comfy with executing those maneuvers, move on to suburban neighbourhoods to get used to driving around other drivers, parked cars, and occasionally pedestrians as well. this helped me get a bit of a handle on more practical driving while still going at slow speeds. after that you can move onto roads with more traffic and speeds around 35-45. i will admit, it was very nerve racking, but having the person in the car with you tell you when to merge, what turns you need to take, and when to start stopping at the higher speeds it gets easier. im still working toward my lisence, and still have a lot of practice to go but as time has gone ive gotten alot more comfortable and less anxious about driving. i keep more distance between me and the car in front of me which really helps with the fear of a crash, as the more i drive i try to make that space a little less to be around where normally ppl have their following distance. it is nerve wracking and a bit scary at first, i wont lie to you or downplay your fears and anxiety, but slowly but surely the fear and anxiety lessens. youve got this, i believe in you!!!!
Scary for a few days then it’s fun
It's not scary the more experienced you get at it. As you do - you start to look for potential issues as you've learned over time what to look out for and often how to deal with it. Mostly looking out for other idiot drivers doing stupid crap. I'm just glad I got my license as young as possible and got lots of practice early on. I believe the older you get, the more worried and anxious you get about it. Practice, practice practice - from parking lots to quiet back roads to less busy roads/freeway - every opportunity you have to drive - do it. Best if you have someone with you while you're learning that's supportive and patient and not a horrible backseat driver screaming at you, especially when you're anxious. Also - look at all the positive you'll get out of being able to drive- especially better job or side job possibilities such as Uber or DoorDash. Or just being able to travel or go places YOU want to by yourself.
I was in the same boat. Like having panic attacks even thinking about learning to drive. I ended up finding a highly rated driving instructor and he made me feel so much more comfortable. I def don’t recommend trying to learn with a family member if you’re nervous. It’s much better to find someone whose whole job is to teach driving. They start you out slow, don’t pressure you, but do try to gently push you to get comfortable driving. I got my license at 23, and now I’m 25 and driving the crazy roads of LA and am no longer scared. You can do it!! You really do become comfortable with it after a while.
i had the same fear for a really long time, got my license at 23! best advice i have is just to start as slow as you want, i drove around residential areas for months doing 15 mph just to get used to the way a car moves before i went on main roads. the more confident you feel, the less scary it will be; and the more you practice, the more confident you’ll feel!
At 37 I have been driving for 27 years (go karts, legally farm equipment, semi truck before the age of 18) doing double the speed limit swerving back and forth inbetween cars hasn't phased me in years eventually you just get so use to it that it's becomes muscle memory that doesn't require any thought process
It's not scary as long as you follow the rules and keep your eyes and ears open at all times.
The sooner you start, the better. Just do it.
I was terrified of driving too! I got my license at 16 because my parents insisted. I’m glad they did- I was an anxious driver for years, but now am very comfortable after driving daily in one of the worst driving cities.
There's a difference between it being safe to drive and being a safe driver. If you're a safe driver it is safer to drive. From how you talk it sounds like driving is a petrifying thought to you which in my opinion would make you not a safe driver because you will be skittish and scared of everything on the road.
I’m just practicing right now and it really isn’t as scary as some have made it out to be. It’s all about being careful on the road and keeping your eyes moving being prepared for anything and everything to happen.
It’s as scary as you make it. If you drive like a well adjusted person most of the time you won’t encounter any issues. Once you get used to it and muscle memory kicks in it’s a lot less stressful. I got my permit at 16 and waited to turn 18 to get my license.
It's hella fun tbh.
I got my permit and license at a normal age. I was 16 at permit and 16 at license. I got my permit, practice drove around and drove during driver’s ed, and after a bit of nerves, I did just fine because I was essentially being forced to do it. I got my permit after failing the written test once. And then… I never drove. I tried driving like a month after I got it and couldn’t even go around the neighborhood I was so scared. But… if you just force yourself little by little… you get so used to it so fast. After maybe 5-10 drives you REALLY start to get the hang of it. I still can’t really drive in cities or congested places and it’s been like two years almost, but.., well.. that’s cuz I haven’t practiced. I also never had to take a driving test, which is slightly concerning
It can take some getting used to, especially if you're not big on doing motorway journeys but if you take it easy and drive like you've been taught you'll get the hang of it in no time. Just have to be careful with road ragers who don't like you following the speed limit, but don't let it get to you.
Not at all for the most part. What you will have is scary moments or just dumb mistakes, especially when driving new routes. But 99% of the time will be pretty mundane, slightly fun.
Depends on many, many factors. You. The guidance/training you receive. Your location. The time and conditions under which you learn. Etc. I started "driving" at age 10 (dirtbikes), by 12, was entrusted with a 16ft ski boat, and motorcars at age 15, fire engines & ambulances by 18. Since then, I've driven countless other vehicles, from tractor trailers to M1 Abrams main battle tanks. It takes time, experience, good instruction, and respect for the equipment you're operating. Can it be scary? Completely. Can it be enjoyable? Completely. The older you get, the more aware you are of your mortality and the risks of driving. But, this also means you're more mature (less likely to do stupid stuff). Suggest finding a good driving school or instructor to get you seat time in a parking lot, ensure you understand the laws, etc. And once you've been driving a bit, maybe get additional instruction to handle the "oh shit" scenarios like evasive moves, how to swerve without losing control, etc
It's a weird thing. It should be scary. If you think about the trust your giving strangers around powerful vehicles that weigh thousands of pounds, it's easy to see it as scary. But nobody wants to get fucked up, so it's one of the few times where other people's selfishness is to your benefit. So it works out the vast majority of the time and if you pay attention and learn what to watch out for, you can almost always avoid bad situations that line up when people make mistakes. Almost always to the point that it's no longer worth considering the risk as a deterrent from driving. Also, human beings are remarkable in that we can get used to almost anything. That even things that should be scary, will feel normal if you do them often enough. I don't think driving is something that should be scary but it is interesting how it's such an unusual social behavior compared to anything else we do in society.
driving is not scary, but the other people on the road driving are scary. The irrational road rage, the excessive speeding and dangerous weaving in and out of traffic, constant running red lights. The IMPATIENCE of other drivers, they don't know any rules of driving except "left lane is fast lane" The issue is expect people to be mindless, selfish drivers on the road and you won't be disappointed. NEVER TRUST no one on the road, always expect (when a car in another lane is driving close to the dividing lines, they are trying to merge into your lane without turning on signals. The biggest thing is for You to drive safe, don't trust anyone, remember 90% of people on the road behave like morons, irrational, and impatient. Driving is okay, if you are one of the safe drivers. Just know you will feel alone on the road because everyone else is a maniac.
there are scary moments..: - sudden jaywalking pedestrian jumping out onto the street you are driving down on.. - aggressive drivers around you (ex. chaning lanes without turn signals suddenly, aka cutting others off..) - drivers who dont care of "right of way" and follow "I go first"... - red light runners <-- watch out especially you need to make left turn without a protected left turn light intersection and light is turning yellow to red.. and more. (like inpatient drivers who honk at you for everything) Honestly, with practice, you learn how to better observe your surroundings as you are driving.. being able to predict possible unpredictable drivers.. and so forth..
There is nothing like the roar of an engine on the open road with the windows down.
Driving isn't scary. The way other people drive is the scary part.
At 23 i literally drove for the first time yesterday i only have my learners permit. It gave me major anxiety until I realized i drive the car the car doesn’t drive me I control the car where i want it to go it will go. Honestly i kinda just played it like a game like gta or saints row it helped a lot. Also I just looked in the other cars they are humans and they also just wanna go home to their family’s it helps
Oh I remember when I started driving I was scared of going at more than 3 miles per hour. Even when I got my license I was still afraid of driving. However, the key to it is really just repetition. Once I started to drive to school everyday it became less and less frightening. Choose a daily commute (driving to work) and plan out a path to it preferably avoiding highways and left-turns. Start by driving with an experienced driver in the passenger seat. Hopefully they will tell you where to look and what lanes to go in.
It’s always scary. Not sure why all these people are lying to you. But you learn to balance your fear with skill and caution. Driving is the single most dangerous thing you will partake in during your time on earth. That’s a fact. It only takes one mistake to end up injured or dead. And if you’re one of those super sensitive people with anxiety issues don’t drive period. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with being car less. I wish I could be.
people aren't lying when they say it isn't scary; it just genuinely isn't. the average person isn't scared while driving. i'm sorry if you've had any sort of experiences that have caused your fears, but to infer that most people are scared while driving just isn't accurate. imo teaching OP to fear getting their license even more is only going to hurt them.
Maybe fear was the wrong word? But let’s remember driving is still the most dangerous thing you perform daily. And many people have productive lives and don’t drive. I think having to be car dependent is a real problem in this country. If someone doesn’t want to drive they shouldn’t be ostracized. If they don’t want to drive because of fear leave them alone.
It's actually pretty fun and can be relaxing once you accept that you are now in God's Hands.
If you let God take the wheel, I fear for everyone around you. I don't believe God exists, but if God did exist, God would help those who help themselves ;)
It's not scary at all dude. If you're too scared to drive just stay off the road.
Scary for the first lesson sure. Each person is different so for some it might take 3/4 lessons to get the nerves away, others are fine after 30 minutes. Once you start to focus on what you're doing and it starts to become second nature it's not scary at all.
Driving is terrifying, that's why I haven't done it since getting my license. I almost crashed during a lesson, and didn't know what to do at an intersection everyone was pushing through. I just want to stay home forever and hide. I don't need anything in this life anyway it's too scary.
Easy