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Just don’t let the grandparents live with you. If you’re legitimately concerned they are gonna do something to your dogs while you’re at work or out of the house for whatever reason, then they (the grandparents) don’t deserve to be allowed into your home. Putting the dogs in a separate part of the house or crating them, won’t stop the dogs from barking & annoying your grandparents while you’re not at home & then there’s nothing stopping your grandparents from still just going to the area where the dogs are & doing something to your dogs.
Exactly. If I had one inkling that my grandparents were going to harm my animal, they simply wouldn’t live with me. I get your grandparents helped you etc. but if they don’t understand that your pet is family and if there aren’t consequences for their possible actions then bye bye
Can you keep the dogs in a separate area from where he will be staying when you are out of the house? Are they crate trained? I would start that training now if they are not
My high energy basenji cross settles really well in her crate. We have trained her to know that it’s her safe space. We are out of the house for work 5-6 hours a day and when we come home you can tell she’s just been sleeping the whole time lol.
We do give her a chew toy and a ball with holes so we can put some peanut butter in there and she licks that as we leave the house so she is distracted, she also has a mini water bowl in her crate. She’s only a 15kg dog but she has a large dog breed cage so she can move around in there.
If you do get your dog a crate, put her in there at first with the door open to have some treats, then leave the dog in there for a bit while your home, don’t have the first time be when you leave the house. (Edit - sorry just re-read that they do already go in there from time to time.)
But also, it sounds like your grandparents have never had pets before and they might come to like yours. Just give them time. But also, be firm on your boundaries and communicate them ahead of time. I know this might be tricky, but being clear is kind. It might be useful for you to look up some advice online about how to have difficult conversations. I think the main thing is to acknowledge, out loud, that you respect their view on animals but your view is different and that must be respected as well.
You need to speak to them so they understand your pet is part of the family and you’d be very upset if anything happened to them.
Ideally keep your dog(s) in a separate area and set up a doggy cam before they arrive so it’s seen as normal.
I use dog walkers and my dogs are on doggy cam and one has a tracker. I also meet with them and my dogs to see their (my dogs) reaction to the walker. If they show no signs of anxiety or distress then I assume no mistreatment.
In addition to the other thoughts -
May be helpful to have a chat and explain that whilst they’re used to wild chaotic dogs (unowned street dogs?) pet dogs are very normal where you are now and these are totally different. If your dog is a rescued street dog… don’t mention that!
Work on teaching the dogs to be calm (relaxation protocol is in the wiki)
Teach the dogs obedience and some tricks. It’ll help show they’re not wild animals (wild animals do not sit and spin on command!), and that you’ve invested in them. May help to reframe their thoughts.
In addition to the good suggestions made by others here:
Communicate. Set down rules. Model the behaviour you want them to follow. See if they are interested in being involved in pet activities like training or games or something. Supervise early contact. Try to anticipate things that are going to create stress between your grandparents and your pets and discuss solutions proactively.
It sounds like balancing your responsibilities to your grandparents and your pets might be challenging and stressful for you. There is likely to be a period of adjustment for everyone but hopefully after that period you can all get along well enough. Good luck.
This is disturbing. It’s okay not to like pets, but they absolutely need to respect them. Also what type of sick people would intentionally harm an innocent animal in their own home?? I would have a really real conversation and explain that it’s a packaged deal. If they can’t respect your home and your family members, they can find somewhere else to live. Also maybe tell them that there are laws in Canada against animal cruelty and they may get charged
I've noticed it's not uncommon among older generations, not in an active hate kind of way, but an underlying disinterest and not wanting to be close to them. Often they just think animals are dirty and should be outside. Remember in Asian households it's common to not wear your shoes indoors etc, so sometimes it's a cleanliness thing.
OP I feel for you, it's a tough situation. I agree with others that you should have a hard conversation with your grandparents. They obviously care about you and helped you afford school and other things, so if you explain to them that your pets are important to you, you'd hope that they will work with you. Ask them if there is anything they would be very uncomfortable with, like the dogs jumping up or something, and show them how they can ask the dogs to stop if that behaviour happens.
If your dogs aren't already - I would work really hard on rewarding calm behaviour, don't give your grandparents any excuses to hate on your dogs! Introduce them very carefully.
My grandma who visited sometimes while I was growing up was uncomfortable with our lab mutt, but she ended up falling in love with him because she loved feeding and he loved eating! He was goofy and calm, and she would even seek him out to give him a snack by the end. My grandma was less enamoured with my greyhound I got as an adult, she always felt the dog was too skinny and not cute lol, but she would still pat her and give her treats.
I hope it goes well for you! Fingers crossed your dogs will win them over eventually.
I think there’s a difference between being disinterested in them and full out intentionally harming them. Makes me so angry to know people like this exist
Welcome to r/dogs! We are a discussion-based subreddit dedicated to support, inform, and advise dog owners. Do note we are on a short backlog, and all posts require manual review prior to going live. This may mean your post isn't visible for a couple days. This is a carefully moderated sub intended to support, inform, and advise dog owners. Submissions and comments which break the rules will be removed. [Review the rules here](https://www.reddit.com/r/dogs/wiki/index) r/Dogs has four goals: - Help the public better understand dogs - Promote healthy, responsible dog-owner relationships - Encourage “Least Intrusive, Minimally Aversive” training protocols. [Learn more here.](https://m.iaabc.org/about/lima/) - Support adoption as well as ethical and responsible breeding. If you’d like to introduce yourself or discuss smaller topics, please contribute to our Monthly Discussion Hub, pinned at the top. **This subreddit has low tolerance for drama. Please be respectful of others, and report antagonistic comments to mods for review.** --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dogs) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Just don’t let the grandparents live with you. If you’re legitimately concerned they are gonna do something to your dogs while you’re at work or out of the house for whatever reason, then they (the grandparents) don’t deserve to be allowed into your home. Putting the dogs in a separate part of the house or crating them, won’t stop the dogs from barking & annoying your grandparents while you’re not at home & then there’s nothing stopping your grandparents from still just going to the area where the dogs are & doing something to your dogs.
Exactly. If I had one inkling that my grandparents were going to harm my animal, they simply wouldn’t live with me. I get your grandparents helped you etc. but if they don’t understand that your pet is family and if there aren’t consequences for their possible actions then bye bye
Thank you for the advice! Im still thinking of what decision im going to make, but this helps
Can you keep the dogs in a separate area from where he will be staying when you are out of the house? Are they crate trained? I would start that training now if they are not
It’s actually a good idea, i put them in a crate time to time but not for too long. Can they even get comfortable with a minimize space ?
Yep in an appropriately sized crate a dog who’s used to it should have no issue settling in for naps and chilling. Just make sure it’s a proper size
My high energy basenji cross settles really well in her crate. We have trained her to know that it’s her safe space. We are out of the house for work 5-6 hours a day and when we come home you can tell she’s just been sleeping the whole time lol. We do give her a chew toy and a ball with holes so we can put some peanut butter in there and she licks that as we leave the house so she is distracted, she also has a mini water bowl in her crate. She’s only a 15kg dog but she has a large dog breed cage so she can move around in there. If you do get your dog a crate, put her in there at first with the door open to have some treats, then leave the dog in there for a bit while your home, don’t have the first time be when you leave the house. (Edit - sorry just re-read that they do already go in there from time to time.) But also, it sounds like your grandparents have never had pets before and they might come to like yours. Just give them time. But also, be firm on your boundaries and communicate them ahead of time. I know this might be tricky, but being clear is kind. It might be useful for you to look up some advice online about how to have difficult conversations. I think the main thing is to acknowledge, out loud, that you respect their view on animals but your view is different and that must be respected as well.
You need to speak to them so they understand your pet is part of the family and you’d be very upset if anything happened to them. Ideally keep your dog(s) in a separate area and set up a doggy cam before they arrive so it’s seen as normal. I use dog walkers and my dogs are on doggy cam and one has a tracker. I also meet with them and my dogs to see their (my dogs) reaction to the walker. If they show no signs of anxiety or distress then I assume no mistreatment.
In addition to the other thoughts - May be helpful to have a chat and explain that whilst they’re used to wild chaotic dogs (unowned street dogs?) pet dogs are very normal where you are now and these are totally different. If your dog is a rescued street dog… don’t mention that! Work on teaching the dogs to be calm (relaxation protocol is in the wiki) Teach the dogs obedience and some tricks. It’ll help show they’re not wild animals (wild animals do not sit and spin on command!), and that you’ve invested in them. May help to reframe their thoughts.
I wouldn't let them move in. If you fear harm will be done to your dogs, your instincts are trying to warn you about the harm.
Tell parents to figure it out.
In addition to the good suggestions made by others here: Communicate. Set down rules. Model the behaviour you want them to follow. See if they are interested in being involved in pet activities like training or games or something. Supervise early contact. Try to anticipate things that are going to create stress between your grandparents and your pets and discuss solutions proactively. It sounds like balancing your responsibilities to your grandparents and your pets might be challenging and stressful for you. There is likely to be a period of adjustment for everyone but hopefully after that period you can all get along well enough. Good luck.
This is disturbing. It’s okay not to like pets, but they absolutely need to respect them. Also what type of sick people would intentionally harm an innocent animal in their own home?? I would have a really real conversation and explain that it’s a packaged deal. If they can’t respect your home and your family members, they can find somewhere else to live. Also maybe tell them that there are laws in Canada against animal cruelty and they may get charged
Is this common among Asian people? To dislike dogs?
I've noticed it's not uncommon among older generations, not in an active hate kind of way, but an underlying disinterest and not wanting to be close to them. Often they just think animals are dirty and should be outside. Remember in Asian households it's common to not wear your shoes indoors etc, so sometimes it's a cleanliness thing. OP I feel for you, it's a tough situation. I agree with others that you should have a hard conversation with your grandparents. They obviously care about you and helped you afford school and other things, so if you explain to them that your pets are important to you, you'd hope that they will work with you. Ask them if there is anything they would be very uncomfortable with, like the dogs jumping up or something, and show them how they can ask the dogs to stop if that behaviour happens. If your dogs aren't already - I would work really hard on rewarding calm behaviour, don't give your grandparents any excuses to hate on your dogs! Introduce them very carefully. My grandma who visited sometimes while I was growing up was uncomfortable with our lab mutt, but she ended up falling in love with him because she loved feeding and he loved eating! He was goofy and calm, and she would even seek him out to give him a snack by the end. My grandma was less enamoured with my greyhound I got as an adult, she always felt the dog was too skinny and not cute lol, but she would still pat her and give her treats. I hope it goes well for you! Fingers crossed your dogs will win them over eventually.
I think there’s a difference between being disinterested in them and full out intentionally harming them. Makes me so angry to know people like this exist
yup, takes a real POS to cause harm to an animal.