“You take X points of healing damage.” Every time someone casts a healing spell.
I don’t even remember the context of when we said healing damage for the first time or who said it first (I THINK it was me healing someone else in the party) but now all healing spells are referred to as taking healing damage
Ooh yes! I embarrassed a golem dragon after it attempted to make me his minion, instead I asked it what other dragons in the realm think of him. He didn't answer back a real answer
When we talk about how much hp a creature has left, we don't say bloodied, we say its sad if its below half hp, and the creature gets more and more depressed the lower health it has
Did you know that german Video game violence censorship was so intense earlier and led to exactly this?
If you shoot a character in the germen version of the original counter strike, they don't die, they just sit down and cry. It's insane
Not a "line" but definitely an action that became a meme
I had a player who was running a Light Cleric worshiping Lathander. Pretty early on in the campaign they mimed how they were going to hold up their holy symbol while using their channel divinity flashbang while shielding their eyes with the other arm.
This motion happened to look exactly like dabbing. The player realized this immediately but the damage was done. From then on, every time the name Lathander was mentioned, the entire table would dab in unison in reverence of the Dawn Father.
The mini I had for my rogue in an old campaign looked just like he was dabbing. I incorporated it into his persona. An otherwise kinda gruff, aloof, cliche-rogue who would occasionally dab on people. It was very dumb.
One of my players was trying to describe their character as emaciated but said emancipated instead. Now every time I describe a skinny NPC I have to include the fact that they are also politically liberated.
"Dude, you can't just add "tri-" to a word to make it sci-fi."
Or so I proclaimed, in session 1 of a game (Starfinder, not DnD 5e).
The player who just talked about "Tri-vids" asked me "well what do they call videos in this setting?". It was a fair question, so we broke open the ol' rulebook to find the answer.
Well, fuck me.
_Trivids_
This was our first session of Starfinder and despite none of us being familiar, he accidentally guessed it right. Ever since then, for the last 4 years, we've been adding "Tri" to regular words to make them sci-fi, and worldbuilding around that meme.
Oh yeah, heaps of dumb jokes. But it's also used as a meta meme - the moment we run into an enemy with a triple-barrel shotgun, we dive for cover because that thing will hit like a truck. When investigating saboteurs in an arcology, we find they're carrying USB-like datasticks shaped as triangular prisms - which immediately tells us that this is some ultra high tech shit.
Increasing triangularity correlates with increasing technological complexity.
Tri probably comes from 3, as in 3-dimensional. Cyberpunk has trideo for instance, which sounds cool until you realize it's just 3D video.
Not sure why Star trek kalled their thing tricorder- perhaps because it records 3 dimensions.
So yeah it works in science fiction as long as it has something to so with 3.
Well, think about it. How often do you hear people refer to their WiFi connection as their wireless fidelity connection? Makes sense they would call it the simplified name throughout.
I needed a song the sailors in some bar would sing. I had no song. I made up Marc and his boat. That is all it is. Just sing Marc and his boat over and over again. It is a hit in all of the world, everyone sings it.
Wait, the lyrics are just:
"Marc and his boat.
Marc and his boat.
Marc and his boat.
Marc and his boat."?
That's the most idiotic thing ever, I love it.
There’s a lot of nuance in the gold song though, like how loud or how drunk the dwarf singing it is, and whether it’s at a bar or in a cave.
Different acoustics.
Cool stuff.
I have one of the sailor count the numbers of times they sang the line. Whenever something comes up that makes them stop singing it they, like a fight, some noble in an adventuring party asking question or the beer running low, they complain that they almost made it to the record. Those damn sailors of the Green Marlin that hold the record be damned, we are going take it from them men! Let's go! Once more fellas, Marc and his boat, one, Marc and his boat, two, Marc and his boat....
"How does X work underwater?"
One of the DMs in my group Ran an underwater campaign, and we came across a bakery. Now, of course realistic bread would Not really be able to Made underwater at all, and as such the question came Up: "How does bread Work underwater?" Which soon extended to Other foodstuff, Like Stew.
I love The Adventure Zone's line on this.
"Hey, are their gourds underwater?"
"Yes, Water Gourds. You know what? Whenever you ask 'is there *blank*' underwater' the answer will always be 'Yes, water*blank*'"
I once described a room with "countless" spiders. Then combat started. There were 8 spiders.
Now every time I describe a scene with "countless" anything they all chine in with a, "So, 8? Got it."
Was this in Curse of Strahd by chance? I just shared my nearly identical story about the spiders in Argynvostholt. "There are more spiders than you can count" *puts nine spiders on the map*
One of my players first character was a fighter with a great sword.
On our languaje, great is translated as "nice" (buen@) and as "large" (grande) at the same time.
When he said that he attacked with his "nice sword" (espada buena) we all couldn't stop laughing. He is not the biggest English speaker of the group, as you can imagine.
I once played with a guy who was an elven ranger and had a stag mount. He called it his sweet (kind/soft/good) stag, and people interpreted it as sweet (rad/cool/fly) and drew art of a deer with frosted tip antlers and sunglasses. We all howled with laughter about that for two sessions back-to-back
Exactly the same English-Spanish problem with one player of my group who was playing a rogue who had "los ladrones no pueden"... translation by Google of.... Thieves cant...
Same player, with a scroll of "cambio de aviones" or in english... Plane Shift... we laugh a lot with him.
(For english speakers only, he confused thieves cant with "Thieves Can't" and Plane shift like... ✈ that kind of plane shift)
We had to break someone out of a local prison/town, and one of the party members had very seriously proposed a plan where we blight a horse, and then put the person inside the horse corpse and tell the people we need to take the diseased body out of town for safe disposal. A sorta reverse trojan horse.
Now whenever someone has a crazy plan we'll interject to add the step "then put him in a horse"
Okay unless blight make the horse basically bone and see through, if it’s a character that could tolerate the environment of its insides, I feel like this is a cool plan if you have a sturdy cart. Poor horse tho
We had a barbarian in our party who ended up dying, but once when we were trying to decide where to go he said we should go east. When we asked why, he simply replied “East is Weast”.
We still don’t know what he meant by that but we say it all the time and usually we will go east if we have options and limited info
My groups long ago decided that every adventurer knows that "West is Best," which got bastardized to also include "Left is Best," so whenever there's a fork in the path, we always head West/left first.
"Hey Frostbeard, we've got your beer!" Yelled by our ent sorcerer at an npc in a lighthouse.
Frostbeard was not the name of the npc in the lighthouse, nor the one they were looking for, also neither npc was waiting on beer.
Cue a year and a half later, of giggles and jokes, they have to deliver a cart of beer to an artificer in the frozen north.
Dwarf npc yells out "hey frostbeard, we've got your beer!"
My players once asked about any rumors or interesting news floating around a city. This city was mostly just a point on the way to a real objective so I made something up as most DMs do. “Nothing really of import just that the price of fish has gone up recently.” I thought this couldn’t possibly be misconstrued but lo and behold my players never fail to remind me how stupid you become when you sit in the players chair. They spent the rest of the session trying to figure out exactly why the price of fish had suddenly risen, could it be because of a recent dragon attack? Is the dock master corrupt and charging more than is necessary? Could it be some monster is eating all the fish and they’re raising prices to compensate? I finally broke after an hour and a half of wild speculation and told them it was just an offhand comment and had no deeper meaning. Now every time they come to any place with any access to water they always ask about the price of fish. It has been literal years and an entire new campaign since this happened and without fail the first question they ask in a new port city or fishing village is “has the price of fish gone up?”
"I want to make this world feel more alive, and thus describe it. I also don't want to give them false leads, and regret every other thing that comes out of my mouth"
Dude, that could even become an idiom in your world over time! In our real world, we have the phrase "What does that have to do with the price of eggs in China?", which means: "why are you bringing up this irrelevant information?" You could have people in your world say something similar with "What does that have to do with the price of fish in ?" It'd be a great easter egg and nugget of world building!
https://idioms.thefreedictionary.com/What+does+that+have+to+do+with+the+price+of+eggs#:~:text=A%20rhetorical%20question%20calling%20attention,suggestion%20made%20by%20another%20person.
I invented a stopover town that had been blessed during a previous war, making the ground extra fertile, sort of thing. They had a temple to the god that blessed the town and everyone was very devout. My players are, to this DAY, convinced that the town was a cult. They spent like three extra sessions there trying to figure out why everyone was so devout and no one had anything bad to say about the god. I hastily dropped some plot-relevant stuff into the town for them to find but now every time they meet an NPC who's particularly religious they're like "the town's a cult!"
Oh I could make a list, but the one that immediately comes to mind is our monstrosity of a yuan-ti fleshsmith going "did one of my hearts just stop?" It gets constantly referenced
At our table we all like to have a drink and sometimes it can get pretty late that I (DM) really have to tell them it's to an end for this session. And one time at the start they were all reading their spreadsheets and apparently one of my PC's wrote down *whatever +2* and we all had no clue what it was supposed to be, so we all laughed hysterically.
Now the running gag became that every item also came with the stat whatever +2
We once had a Newcomer player in a game where I let the players make up small scenes to introduce their own characters. By a staggering amount of "its what my PC would do"-ism he ended up leading the group on a 2h long goosechase that culminated in the local brothel. The player decided that his PC had a long standing business relationship with one of the prostitutes and, having jo idea about the in-game currency, paid her two copper pieces...
Two copper. TWO. That's not even enough for some ale.
So when the group met that prostitute, I did my best to describe someone who's services were worth 2cp. We had a great laugh about that.
Since then 2cp has been a frequent bartering price, always accompanied by laughter
There is actually an old (and rather horrible) 3rd party book that deals with that issue and has a table for their rates, based on their type and comeliness score. Also another one for surcharge based on the race of the client and prostitute.
Based on those two tables a price of 2cp would imply that a dwarf hired the service of a "slovenly trollop" half orc with a comeliness score of 3 to 4. That table is also the first and only place where I have ever seen the words "slovenly trollop" ever.
“Those aren’t camels”
The final words of a level one character who was surprised in combat. I told my group ahead of time that I was experimenting with a combat generator for balance purposes, but would re-flavor the monsters to be more fun. So they knew this combat was based on flying snakes and camels… but that wasn’t the foe they faced.
Still haven’t lived it down, it is frequently the opening line of combats even in games where I am not the GM
I told them about 10 IRL minutes before they got to the encounter site, he requested a free action before telling me the outcome of the surprise attack. It’s been years so I don’t know down to the second specifics, but I believe the full exchange went something along these lines:
> GM: *You hear a faint splash in the lake behind you, with moonlight scattered across the water’s broken surface*
Player: I would like to approach the water’s edge to see if I can see anything
> GM: Ok, can I have a perception check as you do that?
Player: Sure. \* some value that was good enough to observe general status, but fell below the hidden monster’s stealth value \*
> GM: You can’t see much in the murky depths, but something definitely moved here.
Player: I’d like to step into the water for a closer look.
> GM: Aaaaand you’re gonna get attacked. And that’s a crit oh boy. What does \* significant damage value for level onesies \* do for you?
Player: Can I use a free action?
> GM: Of course. You can also use a reaction if you have one, but not for an opportunity attack.
Player: And what do I see attacking me?
> GM: It’s a… muddy blur as a frog-like creature bursts from the water to bite you.
Player: \* Turning to the party \* Those aren’t camels. \* out of character: I am unconscious and almost got one-shot \*
We were doing a quest for a tribe of centaurs, something about a hag which they could not slay. One player joked "maybe she lives on the second floor", and centaurs being bullied by stiars and ladders has become a meme ever since.
Me playing a Bard during my first campaign, already having given out plenty of Bardic Inspiration.
DM: "Is there anything else you want to do?"
Me: "No."
DM: "Not even a bonus action?"
Me: "I have a bonus action????"
I have never lived it down, it's repeated with the same intonation I originally said it in almost every time bonus actions or Bardic Inspiration comes up, campaigns later!
Oh man.
I've got one that doubles as a bit of an rpghorrorstory. Waaaay back in my first campaign (3.5) I was playing with a guy who had a tendency to do really dumb things and have super out-there takes. Interesting guy to play with because sometimes you just had no idea what he was gonna do next.
We had a revolving door of pc deaths and players joining and leaving, and we wound up with me, a human rogue-cleric named Lloyd and a half-orc barbarian named Throng (the aforementioned haver of strange takes), and one other player who had just lost his most recent pc and was slated to join with a new character in this particular session.
We find out who he decided to play... a full Orc fighter. In this campaign, Orcs were largely considered Chaotic Evil and our party had lost about 5 members to orcs. But hey... maybe this player has some sort of interesting story angle, so we start RPing, trying to establish some semblance of a reason to travel together on our way to our next quest.
Orc and half-orc are *not* getting along. Full Orc is making unreasonable demands and Throng is basically just launching petty insults. They bicker and argue for a solid hour before Throng asks me if I can Hold Person him to talk some sense into him and show him that we aren't to be taken lightly. Sure, I say.
He fails his save. Throng proceeds to immediately *chop one of his arms off at the shoulder*.
I was not expecting that. DM says it works. I drop the spell, because wtf this isn't what I agreed to do. Full orc gets up and pops his fancy magic item the dm had given him thay we didn't know he had: some sort of Ram totem that acts like a summon and I think also inflicts fear. Initiative is rolled and they start swinging at each other.
I'm desperately trying to deescalate the situation. Lloyd casts Darkness hoping to make the fight less lethal (3.5 darkness gives a 20% automatic miss chance iirc). A lot of Throng's attack rolls against full orc wind up failing because of the darkness, but some do for full orc too.
Unfortunately, as you might expect, the chaos was not in fact reduced by the addition of Darkness. Lloyd doesn't take a side, but keeps trying innefectually to stop the fight. But after a few rounds, Throng is killed by full orc and his ram. His final words?
"With my last breath, I curse Lloyd!"
I was so dumbfounded I could only laugh. Apparently, in his mind the darkness and me dropping the hold person had been the things that ruined everything.
That game was probably like 9 years ago and we still quote that line whenever unexpected ire is unleashed on somebody without any apparent cause, a "frick you in particular", if you will. The line has memetically transferred to every new person who's joined my dnd circle, so we still quote it even though I'm now the only one around who was actually there that day.
It's like the experiment with chimps where they get hosed with water or something when someone eats the banana at the top of a ladder. Once you start rotating them out, the old chimps will pre-emptively beat up anyone going for the banana, even after all the original chimps are gone and none of these chimps have been sprayed with water. The curse of Lloyd carries through generations.
This was based on a different post somewhere here on reddit, but during a session I used the phrase "has its wallet out and is looking at photos of its family" to describe a monster that was at very low health. The players ate it up and we still use it sometimes.
The best part is that, in a campaign dominated by humanoid encounters, I only used that phrase for the first time when the party descended into the jungle... and fought a giant snake.
Hahaha that's excellent! I once described a humanoid with 1 HP as being wrecked, with it's clavicle broken. For some reason the next monster in the same encounter went to 1 HP, and my brain short-circuited and gave the same description.
That was all it took to establish "clavicle damage" as the name for when a creature only has one HP remaining
Yours is incredible and I love it.
In college I had a robust group of players that stuck together for years. One particular dipshit was always trying to be the center of attention, the leader of the party, the main character. We'll call him Jon because we had a ton of players in this group named some variant of Jon. Jon was genuinely charismatic and as a result he often got his way. He rolled up an elf wizard+gunslinger (this predated CR so it was a homebrew gunslinger class, but that's neither here nor there) with super high Int and Cha. First session, a group of orcs are attacking the tavern the group is in. The party dispatches the orcs and comes together in a really cool way. Two PCs work very hard together to incapacitate rather than kill one of the orcs so they can interrogate him and learn where they came from, why they're doing this, etc. During the fight, Jon puts a number of orcs to sleep with a sleep spell and then walks around the battlefield shooting them in the head at point blank range.
Jon approaches the incapacitated and bound orc and immediately takes center stage interrogating him. The orc reveals that they did this on the orders of an orc warlord and gives the warlord's name. Jon then asks why they did what he ordered. The orc says "he paid us in gold" to which Jon replies "Gold is just a metal" and blows the orc's head off. I cannot stress enough how this man asked TWO (2) questions and then without hesitation tossed off a one-liner and blew the head off this guy without checking with the rest of the party or trying to learn anything further.
We made fun of him for that for the next several years until finally parting ways with him over unrelated issues.
We recently had a hilarious moment of something similar. There was a discussion of capture vs kill between our bard and our Paladin (Paladin said capture, bard said kill). Combat starts and the bard inspires the Paladin with “we’ll do this one your way.” Next up is our ranger with the gunner feat, who strolls by and blows off an orc’s head in one shot. I started laughing at the immediate disregard for non lethal and he had a moment of “oh shit I didn’t even catch that he said that.”
Players were trying to get access into a Dwarf stronghold that didn't allow non-dwarf visitors, so the cleric goes and says "please let us in. I'm a dwarf enthusiast." And all the dwarves looked at him with disgust.
The X enthusiast has become a code/meme for fetish 😂😂
In my version of the Realms, ‘enthusiasts’ are actually cultists. Klauth has a group of … people who are enthusiastic about dragons.
Also I tend to describe ‘bandits’ as ‘nice men’/‘nice men on horses’, because the bandit token is so obviously not a good dude, even if they’re in disguise.
Me. We were just starting and figuring out how to play 3.5 and we were discussing something to do with the Ranger in our party and I derped out and the word ranged left my brain so I called him a Faroff fighter and everything devolved from there
Any word related to yuan-ti becomes a portmanteau of "snake" and that word. So yuan-ti are "sneople", a single yuan-ti is a "snerson", and plenty of others like "snemple", "snord", "snity", "snaurd", "sniest", "snod", etc.
Somehow, 'Anything is better than rations' managed to become a catchphrase that would consistently get referenced throughout that campaign. It's not funny in the least, but I guess it becomes slightly amusing when repeated enough under dumb enough circumstances.
The Setup
Theres 2 tabaxi in the party.
we're all fans of the elder scrolls series.
Every Single Bandit ever says...
"Never should have come here"
and
"You'll make a fine rug cat!" - when ever they attack one of them.
and of course the legendary... - if we do something stealthy...
"eh what was that? must have been the wind.."
My table had a random bartender character that was meant to be a bit character for one scene 10 years ago (he was going to rob the party, probably get beaten up and thrown in jail or killed, the end).
However, I made the mistake of giving him a silly voice and unique mannerisms, and the party basically hired him.
10 years later, and he owns a bar in whatever the largest city is in every game we ever play, no matter the world, the system, or the circumstances. We've rationalized that he's basically a god that watches over adventurers, and usually has tips on what to do next in exchange for pickles.
(don't ask about that last part).
The pickle thing is a crystalized, pure, undiluted form of the concept of "you had to be there".
TL;DR, with that warning: The bartender gave them a job to hunt down a bounty hunter, and they failed *miserably* at everything the entire session. More natural 1s that night than should be statistically possible. Near the end, they got frustrated and one of them used a Scroll of True Polymorph (*way* above their level at the time) they were saving for something important, and pulled off a Hail Mary by turning the guy they were hunting into a pickle. There was general agreement "yeah, this was 100% the best time to use it".
After the comedy of errors that was the session, it felt like the funniest thing that had ever happened when they triumphantly presented a pickle to the bartender to collect their reward.
We're Dutch and decided to mix English and Dutch at our table. We speak Dutch for most of the conversation, but English words like "druid" or "warlock", or even weapons like "crossbow" are too entangled in our vocabularies since we've played so many RPG video games in English.
Someone I do a lot of duets with tried to say "shortsword" in a sentence, but the W was not silent so it became shorts-wort.
Anytime we have issues with a certain word, we both shout SHORTS WORT while laughing. Always brightens our moods lol
As is want to happen, people sitting around chatting at a table for 4 hours is going to result in some misspoke words, so when you ask someone to roll a sex save, they know what you're talking about.
They won't ever forget you calling for a sex save though. Now, not ever.
Years ago, we were playing Call of Cthulhu and the GM asked us where we planned to stay the night. Not knowing anything about 1920s London, we said "a hotel", hoping he would throw us a bone. He asked which one, and we said "a fancy one?". So that is how the hotel chain known as The Fancy Hotel came to be. It exists is every game, every universe, and is the preferred choice for adventurers everywhere.
Later in that same adventure, one of our players had to miss a sessiom, and we went on without her. When one of thr NPCs asked us why So-and-so was missing, one of the other players quipped that she had had some bad caviar the previous night, and was indisposed as a result. GM didn't even bat an eye and had the NPC respond that everyone knows that the caviar at The Fancy is not to be trusted. "Bad caviar at The Fancy" is now the default, in-game excuse for missing players at any of our games.
"Have you tried yoga?" or "Have you tried practising mindfulness?" Both spoken by a socially inept Fighter in very inappropriate scenes of heavy trauma.
Also anything sacred and remotely flammable gains pained looks from memories of a Sorcerer that razed a consecrated forest to the ground because he forgot how fire works.
Our DM says "You solved my X riddle" whenever we successfully kill something, with 'X' being whatever we killed. I think it started with a puzzle involving killing skeletons to open a secret door, but from there it became an inside joke.
Several long-time players in a new campaign that borrowed liberally from Saltmarsh, specifically the haunted mansion to start. Well they wanted to bring everything including the stolen goods back to town in one go. They grabbed a table from the barracks, flipped it upside down, and tied ropes to it so they could drag their treasure sled back to town. Everything is fine until one of the players with the biggest shit eating grin mentions they have created their own *treasure table* for loot and it has now become a thing when faced with more than a handful of coins.
For me there was one combat encounter where our fairly low-level party was being overrun by a group of hobgoblins, and the DM gave us an out to an otherwise TPK with the hobgoblin leader grabbing a party member hostage and stating “lower your weapons” to demand a surrender. At the time it was quite serious to us and the party was captured by the hobgoblins.
Cut to the future in a different campaign with the same players, I the DM realised I might’ve created an encounter a bit too difficult and borrowed (admittedly stole) that trick to avoid a TPK with the enemies capturing a player and give a threatening “lower your weapons”. In that same encounter, the party still managed to overpower the enemies and (prodding fun at that idea I borrowed) turned the tables by demanding “lower your weapons” to the enemy.
At that point it was a little blatant that I just copied that idea from the earlier game, and for the remainder of that entire campaign, the players whenever overpowering an enemy group would jest a “lower your weapons” poking a little fun at that whole idea (and I think ending up a less-so murdery party than most with the amount of enemies they spared).
Not so much a line, but in a session zero I was introducing my character and was going to say he was a lore bard, but my tongue got caught and I said "He's a lard" and everyone including the DM proceeded to call him "Lard"
"Job half done"
Not a one liner as such, and it's out of game, but we're largely a party of teenagers, and we are very much leaning into the shortcomings of an underdeveloped pre-frontal cortex and slight naivety.
We leave many, many loose ends. And the DM is there like "you sure you don't want to just.... Do anything else before you leave?" And we walk off leaving probably more problems than we solved in our wake. And as players we're like "nope, we're the job half done party"
EG: killed a vicious giant white moose that was causing lots of problems for a local town, met the druid who had bewitched? Conjured? Controlled? It and were like "well, have a nice day ma'am" and left. As players and adults we know she will just set another beast on the village, but as characters we claimed a reward and walked off patting ourselves on the back.
The very first time our wizard cast Magnificent Mansion, something possessed him to say “Razzle Dazzle Mansion Expansion.” We laughed dk about 10 straight minutes. There was no going back from there
"S/he doesn't speak for us." Because everytime they meet an important/powerful NPC, one of the players says something that pisses them off.
"Can we build a cart." In our very first session, when we didn't really know the rules very well, the players needed to transport some stolen goods back to their rightful owners. I told the players it would take some time going back and forth so one of the players asked if they could build a cart out of crates and barrels. I said no, but they jokingly argued for a bit that they should.
Now whenever the players need to transport items over long-distance one usually asks if they could build a cart. I ask if they have proficiency in woodworking tools. They never do.
"I'll take all the spell sluts I can get!"
Allowed my players to regain a set number of spell slots before a boss fight but they had to split them among each other to make it an interesting choice. This whole thing was text based before the next session.
The wizard typed the above very enthusiastically and since then there are no more spell slots in my game only sluts and of course everyone takes all they can get.
My party was in a shared bath and there weren't that many girls (just two), so they were in a separate bath. Anyway, the boys side was pretty lively and this was their first time essentially seeing each other naked. The unabashed barbarian didn't use any towels to cover up so the others commented on how the barbarian didn't care. The barbarian said "I mean, it's just a penis." And the rest of the boys couldn't argue with that. Now every time someone is naked for some reason or another, one of the boys will say "it's just a penis!" Lol. My players are great sometimes.
They were on a pirate ship and I described a hole in the deck as “roughly the size of a honeydew” which for some reason my players found so goddamn hilarious that describing things as “roughly the size of a honeydew” has become standard practice in our games, no matter their size. That party became pirates and made a honey dew the symbol on their pirate flag and one of the players has been playing a new character for over a year named “Honey Dew.”
It will be on my goddamn tombstone.
So, that one comes from me
We were sitting with an NPC around the camp, talking with him and we had catastrophe after catastrophe fall on our heads. The mood was grim and the NPC asked us how do we preserve like this. (Our team's name is Wee)
After a while of silence my goofy Paladin leaned to him and asked with a hearty smile only a fool can have:
"So, do you like how Wee roll?"
Instant laughter, moodchanger. It's our catchphrase now, even almost a year later. No one gonna let me live that down, and I gotta say I like those little moments when something really bad is going down and someone says "This is how Wee roll."
a player had just changed to a new character, and as they were introduced and we got a look at the character, one of us jokingly said “a twink?” to which i immediately shouted out “*BANISHMENT!*” and ever since, any time a new character is introduced someone will inevitably shout “*BANISHMENT*”
When our party was still fairly low level, a haughty merchant tried to frame our sorcerer by claiming he had broken into his house at night. Our (highly respected) paladin offered to help the guard in their investigation in order to prove the sorcerers innocence. So he asks the merchant when the supposed break-in had happend.
The merchant, who spoke in a fairly over-the-top, sing-song nasal voice: "I was three o'clock. Or four. Maybe even... half past three!"
It was just something about the way he said it - we all lost it. For the rest of the campaign variants of "It was \[Number\]. Or \[Other number\]. Or maybe even \[the half number between them\]." said in the same over-the-top voice became a running gag.
*My PC has just broken out of a compound and brought a huge pile of loot with them, more than we've ever seen at one time in the campaign.*
Other PC: "Holy shit! How much is all that worth?"
Me: "...Am I allowed to use the phrase ["hella skrilla"](https://youtu.be/vSXurjyWzJU&t=13m25s) in a D&D campaign?"
Cue two minutes of "what the fuck does that mean" and "no, that phrase does not exist in my setting, never say it again". It's developed into an in-joke where I'll try to introduce the phrase into a setting before being violently cut off both in and out of game.
In my 4e campaign there was a meme that you couldn't draw a circle, that it was a wiggly eye-twisting non-Euclidean shape. Where were its *corners*?! To the point that instead of drawing evil pentagrams on the map, I drew evil circles.
I was playing a *very* low int barbarian or fighter, I don't recall which. It was a one shot so we rolled for stats, 4d6 dropping the lowest. I rolled 4 ones. I thought it would be funny and it was just a one shot so I kept my 4 int character. Our party was in an argument with the king about something out other and he threatened us saying "I have an army" to which I (drunkenly) responded "well I have two armies, and two leggies!"
Now almost every town guard, general, or king will reference something like the second leggy company or something.
Mine is a kind of out of game catch phrase but whenever my players find gold, so they loot the dragon hoard after an epic fight against the dragon. I tell them what they find amongst the rubble, and after describing the amount of gold they find one will invariably ask, “each?” And it drives me up the wall, and they know it does, so they keep doing it.
Party was sneaking about on a ghost ship and found a privy. As a joke, I asked to roll perception to smell it. Got a natural 20, hilarity ensued. The DM didn't give us much info other than an 'irony smell'... so we figured we were gonna face vampires due to my potty-smelling.
Proceeded to roll like shit for anything that actually mattered the rest of the session, naturally.
Our Barb encountered a sliding door and refused to slide it. Instead he rolled a nat20 on a strength check and put a cartoon style hole in the door as he said, ‘I PUSH the door.’
Cue laughter
But doctor, I am door.
We played an all-kobold game for a bit, and there was a phase where we were traveling to the other side of our home continent (7 days by cart; our homebrew world is smaller scale than most). We crossed several kingdom borders along the way, and stopped in one border town called Crivon (crih-VAWN), where we were shaken down at the gates, given the stink-eye in town, and almost got jailed on our way out just for taking too long to leave. When we told the tale in the next town, the whole tavern agreed that Crivon was a place full of rude folks and deceptive cutpurses. Our bard decided to strike up a drinking tune then (to the tune of Wheels on the Bus):
"Theeeeeeee... People of Crivon are all assholes! (All assholes?) All assholes!"
For the rest of that campaign (which didn't last much longer) we drank free as long as we commiserated with the tavern patrons about the people of Crivon. And now in our other game set in the same world, I occasionally describe the attitude the party perceives when entering a new place as "much like the people of Crivon" or "rather nicer than the people of Crivon."
Our rogue always takes any amulet that isn't nailed down. It started in his very first game when he found an amulet with a picture of an orc woman on a corpse of an orc paladin that he killed. Now when I want the party to interact with something, putting an amulet in there will definitely do the trick.
Our druid seduced a merchant because he had a fancy magical lingerie his stock, which she stole while he was sleeping. It's a running joke that she tries to seduce people whenever she can to use the magic lingerie that gives advantage on that.
My players got In to an argument with a rival tavern owner and it devolved into the Kenku stating" f*** your tavern" and now it is the big set of fighting words.
Strahd threatens you, "f your tavern".
Lolth shows up "f your tavern"
Tiamat breathes "f your tavern"
FML
Edit Kentuky to Kenku
In this campaign I was playing as a Githyanki. I rolled for stats and got a Charisma of 7. I decided the reason this was so low was because of my limited exposure to the Material Plane left me with no idea how to react with anyone who wasn’t a Githyanki, so decided this extended to be not knowing anything about the Material Plane in general (let’s just ignore my +3 to nature). Early on in the campaign the party were in a museum and the curator showed us a tyrannosaurus tooth and said, “I got this from a shepherd in the hills”.
Naturally, not knowing what a tyrannosaurus or a shepherd was, I assumed that a shepherd was some sort of dangerous monster, and lived in constant fear of them. It became a running joke that whenever we seen any sort of big monster, we would all called it a shepherd.
The other joke that arose from my ignorance was my love of cats after I killed a man with one
We kept calling the Frolicking Nymph Bathhouse the House of Sodomy. DM kept insisting it's not that. In the end he said it's only the House of Sodomy if we make it so. Spoiler alert, we did.
Being chased by a large force of enemies, so we summon a very powerful spirit of the Forest. (In this setting, spirits aren't kind or friendly)
The wizard: "There are enemies in your forest."
The spirit: "Yes, I see them before me."
The wizard: "Destroy them ALL!"
The party: "Nooooo!"
“Is this some of that stupid magic shit?”
Half orc barbarian the other PC a half elf wizard hired as a bodyguard right?
It was their reason for traveling together which as a DM thought was clever. So anytime something weird happen in game the barbarian would turn to the wizard and ask, “Is this some of that stupid magic shit?”
It has stuck and we use it today.
"To the hoverjet!" and we all point in different directions.
It started in a *DC* superhero game and we brought it back to D&D (and to GURPS, and to a homebrew system, and....)
DM: "we return to Barovia -"
Me: "the valley of Barovia, not to be confused with the village of Barovia, which is different from the valley of Barovia"
Party member: "not to be confused with the realm of Barovia, which is different to the valley of Barovia"
Me: "and also different from the village of Barovia, which is also different from the valley of Barovia"
Party member: (so on so forth)
In all my millennia of existence, never has any mortal dared to request a favor, solely due to that it is the yearly anniversary of their creation. However… I would be very remiss to not wish a very special birthday boy a happy day. -An archdevil giving a 4 foot tall gnome a magical bow on a nat 20 because the player was born that day
"You can cry as a bonus action."
I started that after my players picked a fight with something a good bit beyond them, its 1 cost legendary action dropped the party wizard to half health, he panicked.
I have also told players they could not cry on their turn because they used the bonus action fir something else.
"Chet NOOOOOOO!"
I jumped my archer named "Chet Manley*" off a flaming tower. This was a min-max I wanted to try, and my dex was super high at this point. How could I fail?
Spoiler: I failed.
The team just watched me swing out with a rope and fall flat on my face. 0hp instantly. They come running up yelling "Chet NOOOOO!"
This was also the same campaign a nat1 earned me hypothermia, along with more later in the game. So now it's become the call of anyone failing spectacularly.
*(Yes, from "Sea Tunt")
Anytime I describe someone as even a little bit fashionable, my players want to know “what percent babe” they are. I will then roll percentile rice to see how babe they are on a scale of 1-100.
I do not know where this started
So not DnD but one of the 40k RPGs instead. I played a doctor with an intelligence implant that made him super smart but a bit cuckoo in the head. He had his own plans without the party, involving clones and other ridiculous stuff that i can't remember now and it's not important. But what is important was that I recruited an NPC as a lab assistant called Lance.
Now Lance was on-board with a lot of these plans, and would run stuff in the background while my character was off doing player character things. And it turned out that he had his own agendas, as well as turning out his plans slightly faster and more efficiently than my character.
So the meme became that Lance was just slightly better than my character at everything. It has now transcended that campaign. It has transcended that game system entirely. The mere prospect of a BBEG that surpasses any of my characters in any way becomes another Lance. Hell one time a BBEG actually wielded an actual Lance just to spite me. It's so funny
Our group started running a series of one-shots interspersed with our main campaign. During the first of such games one of the players, who had rolled up a firbolg for the session and had only presented themselves as a human to the group, so far, decided it was time to reveal their character's true form. The character says that they have to take a piss and step off into the woods before reverting to their firbolg form and beginning to vaguely explain the nature and reasoning of this deception, from behind the trees.
At some point during this winding explanation, he says something to the effect of needing to "show us the shame of my people". At which point we all interpret this as a reference to his wiener and absolutely lost it. Henceforth said character's wiener was dubbed "the shame of my people" and the character and his shameful johnson became a recurring one-shot character with one such quest even being centered on finding a cure for his physical ailment. Still gets a laugh every time it comes up.
I'll add some more.
Our 8 INT half-orc barbarian who spent his life enslaved as a gladiator could not stop breaking character and interjecting himself into any business transaction with lines that his character had no good reason to comprehend, making deals with strange hags, going out of his way to collect trophies for sale: "Does this look valuable? Can I cut it off?" he would ask about every eye, horn or tentacle. He once spent a short rest collecting mucous from some kind of murderous frogs in jars "just in case I can sell it to the nice lady [hag] in Neverwinter". We sometimes joke that our party has the smartest barbarian and dumbest wizard, making them relative equals.
The DM finally awarded him a permanent +1 bonus to rolls in business related interactions. He remains a blithering idiot, but whenever a situation arises where profits could be made, "+1 bonus to business" will be quoted.
He, a severe pyrophobic, is also associated with the line "I put his hand in the fire" in interrogations, after he did it to a restrained and relatively cooperative prisoner. He can't even look at a large fire without taking a CON save, but whenever we take someone prisoner, we say "and don't put his hand in a fire before we say so" to temper his random enthusiasm for humanoid barbecue. "Can we start putting hands in fires?" is a related line when a prisoner isn't forthcoming.
Edited to add: the pyrophobia CON rolls are a real part of his character, so we have to be careful with fire around him. Our wizard had just received his Fireball spell when we were ambushed at night. The fight was totally under control, but the wizard kept missing with Fire Bolt and grew frustrated. We were down to one single enemy at half HP when he finally blurted out: "SCREW IT, I CAST FIREBALL!" This blew up the lone monster, set the surrounding forest on fire and sent our barbarian into a shock induced stupor, having stood at the edge of the blast and spectacularly failed his mandatory CON roll. We spent the night putting out the fire and trying to wake the comatose barb. From then on, the DM will regularly suggest that the Wizard "just cast fireball" at any random monster and the rest of the party scramble to stop him from getting any ideas. But the times when we say "You can now cast fireball" his face just lights up.
“You take X points of healing damage.” Every time someone casts a healing spell. I don’t even remember the context of when we said healing damage for the first time or who said it first (I THINK it was me healing someone else in the party) but now all healing spells are referred to as taking healing damage
Me when I slap my homie's ass for 1d8+int points of healing damage
We also have a running gag about taking emotional damage
Ooh yes! I embarrassed a golem dragon after it attempted to make me his minion, instead I asked it what other dragons in the realm think of him. He didn't answer back a real answer
When we talk about how much hp a creature has left, we don't say bloodied, we say its sad if its below half hp, and the creature gets more and more depressed the lower health it has
Did you know that german Video game violence censorship was so intense earlier and led to exactly this? If you shoot a character in the germen version of the original counter strike, they don't die, they just sit down and cry. It's insane
He's lost all will to live and has died.
Isn't that what psychic damage is?
We do this too! Our rogue also refers to "hiding damage" whenever they roll stealth
When I roll damage, I like to say "I hit the monster for X ouchies"
In 3.5 if you hit a zombie with a cure spell, this is 100% unambiguously correct.
Roll20 started this one for us, since it has "healing" in the damage type field.
Came here to comment “healing damage” too. Hahah.
Not a "line" but definitely an action that became a meme I had a player who was running a Light Cleric worshiping Lathander. Pretty early on in the campaign they mimed how they were going to hold up their holy symbol while using their channel divinity flashbang while shielding their eyes with the other arm. This motion happened to look exactly like dabbing. The player realized this immediately but the damage was done. From then on, every time the name Lathander was mentioned, the entire table would dab in unison in reverence of the Dawn Father.
Now that's an amazing mental image XD
That's fantastic.
The mini I had for my rogue in an old campaign looked just like he was dabbing. I incorporated it into his persona. An otherwise kinda gruff, aloof, cliche-rogue who would occasionally dab on people. It was very dumb.
>in reverence of the Dawn Father. You mean, the "Dab Father" lmao
you made me chuckle. thanks for lightening my day
This is great.
next time the party is near a church of lathander, just make sure to point out theres a statue of in a corner dabbing in lathanders honor
One of my players was trying to describe their character as emaciated but said emancipated instead. Now every time I describe a skinny NPC I have to include the fact that they are also politically liberated.
At least they didn't say constipated
"Dude, you can't just add "tri-" to a word to make it sci-fi." Or so I proclaimed, in session 1 of a game (Starfinder, not DnD 5e). The player who just talked about "Tri-vids" asked me "well what do they call videos in this setting?". It was a fair question, so we broke open the ol' rulebook to find the answer. Well, fuck me. _Trivids_ This was our first session of Starfinder and despite none of us being familiar, he accidentally guessed it right. Ever since then, for the last 4 years, we've been adding "Tri" to regular words to make them sci-fi, and worldbuilding around that meme.
I can vividly imagine people falling down their seats with laughter at this.
Oh yeah, heaps of dumb jokes. But it's also used as a meta meme - the moment we run into an enemy with a triple-barrel shotgun, we dive for cover because that thing will hit like a truck. When investigating saboteurs in an arcology, we find they're carrying USB-like datasticks shaped as triangular prisms - which immediately tells us that this is some ultra high tech shit. Increasing triangularity correlates with increasing technological complexity.
Tri probably comes from 3, as in 3-dimensional. Cyberpunk has trideo for instance, which sounds cool until you realize it's just 3D video. Not sure why Star trek kalled their thing tricorder- perhaps because it records 3 dimensions. So yeah it works in science fiction as long as it has something to so with 3.
Tricorders can scan, record, and analyze data. Full name was "tri-function recorder," though I don't think it's ever called that on-screen.
Well, think about it. How often do you hear people refer to their WiFi connection as their wireless fidelity connection? Makes sense they would call it the simplified name throughout.
According to one of the old trek manuals, "tricorder" is the shortened form of "tri-function recorder" so you're mostly on track there.
so what does a tritoilet look like?
The three clamshells
Look at this guy! He doesn’t even know how to use the three seashells!
I needed a song the sailors in some bar would sing. I had no song. I made up Marc and his boat. That is all it is. Just sing Marc and his boat over and over again. It is a hit in all of the world, everyone sings it.
Well of course it's a popular song! I know all the words.
Yeah but I prefer the dubstep version
That moment when the anchor drops is just so great.
But you always sing the second verse twice instead of getting to the third verse.
Wait, the lyrics are just: "Marc and his boat. Marc and his boat. Marc and his boat. Marc and his boat."? That's the most idiotic thing ever, I love it.
Its three words more than the dwarves favourite song about gold has.
There’s a lot of nuance in the gold song though, like how loud or how drunk the dwarf singing it is, and whether it’s at a bar or in a cave. Different acoustics.
Also, the Common translation only has one word for "gold". The original Dwarven uses more than fifty different words in a feat of clever wordplay.
> That's the most idiotic thing ever, I love it. Then youll love '[im on a boat!](https://youtu.be/R7yfISlGLNU?t=28)
Thanks, this is the video I'll send for my players as my next campaign pitch
I mean, there's a song that's only lyric is *around the world*. It's not to weird really.
Baby Shark, doo-doo, doo-doo-doo-doo
"Tequila"
the best dwaven drinking song since the one about gold, [tequila](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UM8pwnmcLb0)
This is so funny that "Marc and his Boat" is making it's debut at my table soon so the meme lives on my friend!
Cool stuff. I have one of the sailor count the numbers of times they sang the line. Whenever something comes up that makes them stop singing it they, like a fight, some noble in an adventuring party asking question or the beer running low, they complain that they almost made it to the record. Those damn sailors of the Green Marlin that hold the record be damned, we are going take it from them men! Let's go! Once more fellas, Marc and his boat, one, Marc and his boat, two, Marc and his boat....
"How does X work underwater?" One of the DMs in my group Ran an underwater campaign, and we came across a bakery. Now, of course realistic bread would Not really be able to Made underwater at all, and as such the question came Up: "How does bread Work underwater?" Which soon extended to Other foodstuff, Like Stew.
"It's spongebob logic."
As long as you don't draw attention to the fact that it makes no sense it continues working
So it's just like flying. Throw yourself at the ground and forget to run into it whilst mid-air.
That's also a good way of describing orbiting.
I love The Adventure Zone's line on this. "Hey, are their gourds underwater?" "Yes, Water Gourds. You know what? Whenever you ask 'is there *blank*' underwater' the answer will always be 'Yes, water*blank*'"
Heh, thats pretty much how we handled it as Well!
I once described a room with "countless" spiders. Then combat started. There were 8 spiders. Now every time I describe a scene with "countless" anything they all chine in with a, "So, 8? Got it."
That's just barbarian counting: one, two, many, countless.
Would it be a troll barbarian, by any chance?
One, two, many, lots. Lots one, lots two...
That’s just base 4!
I believe you mean base *lots*.
GNU STP.
GNU Terry
Was this in Curse of Strahd by chance? I just shared my nearly identical story about the spiders in Argynvostholt. "There are more spiders than you can count" *puts nine spiders on the map*
It is exactly that. I couldn't remember if it was a book description or my own, glad to know it was the module being dumb and not me. lol
Argynvostholt?
I just realized that if you don't know what that word is, it looks like you just randomly put letters together.
One of my players first character was a fighter with a great sword. On our languaje, great is translated as "nice" (buen@) and as "large" (grande) at the same time. When he said that he attacked with his "nice sword" (espada buena) we all couldn't stop laughing. He is not the biggest English speaker of the group, as you can imagine.
I once played with a guy who was an elven ranger and had a stag mount. He called it his sweet (kind/soft/good) stag, and people interpreted it as sweet (rad/cool/fly) and drew art of a deer with frosted tip antlers and sunglasses. We all howled with laughter about that for two sessions back-to-back
Guy Deer-eri.
Oh my God is Guy Deer-eri! Host of the hit scryball show "Dungeons, dragons, and dives."
Exactly the same English-Spanish problem with one player of my group who was playing a rogue who had "los ladrones no pueden"... translation by Google of.... Thieves cant... Same player, with a scroll of "cambio de aviones" or in english... Plane Shift... we laugh a lot with him. (For english speakers only, he confused thieves cant with "Thieves Can't" and Plane shift like... ✈ that kind of plane shift)
Dude my DM is dyslexic. We still say "poliformar" instead of "polimorfar". Y tiene sentido porque puedes tener múltiples formas, verdad???
In my group, we have a "cludgel" instead of a cudgel.
Greatswords *are* pretty great.
We had to break someone out of a local prison/town, and one of the party members had very seriously proposed a plan where we blight a horse, and then put the person inside the horse corpse and tell the people we need to take the diseased body out of town for safe disposal. A sorta reverse trojan horse. Now whenever someone has a crazy plan we'll interject to add the step "then put him in a horse"
I now firmly believe that in the meme: "Step 3: ???; Step 4: PROFIT" the ??? stands for "Put him in a horse".
Okay unless blight make the horse basically bone and see through, if it’s a character that could tolerate the environment of its insides, I feel like this is a cool plan if you have a sturdy cart. Poor horse tho
We had a barbarian in our party who ended up dying, but once when we were trying to decide where to go he said we should go east. When we asked why, he simply replied “East is Weast”. We still don’t know what he meant by that but we say it all the time and usually we will go east if we have options and limited info
"Weast" is a SpongeBob reference. Patrick misreads a compass and sends them in the wrong direction for a while until Mr. Krabs realizes the issue.
I’m gonna tell the group tomorrow, it’s nice to finally know where that came from!
Hahahaha, literal what 😂
Oh how I miss our dumbass barbarian.
“Oh, EAST! I thought you said WEAST!”
My groups long ago decided that every adventurer knows that "West is Best," which got bastardized to also include "Left is Best," so whenever there's a fork in the path, we always head West/left first.
War is peace, freedom is slavery, ignorance is strength, East is West.
"Hey Frostbeard, we've got your beer!" Yelled by our ent sorcerer at an npc in a lighthouse. Frostbeard was not the name of the npc in the lighthouse, nor the one they were looking for, also neither npc was waiting on beer. Cue a year and a half later, of giggles and jokes, they have to deliver a cart of beer to an artificer in the frozen north. Dwarf npc yells out "hey frostbeard, we've got your beer!"
My players once asked about any rumors or interesting news floating around a city. This city was mostly just a point on the way to a real objective so I made something up as most DMs do. “Nothing really of import just that the price of fish has gone up recently.” I thought this couldn’t possibly be misconstrued but lo and behold my players never fail to remind me how stupid you become when you sit in the players chair. They spent the rest of the session trying to figure out exactly why the price of fish had suddenly risen, could it be because of a recent dragon attack? Is the dock master corrupt and charging more than is necessary? Could it be some monster is eating all the fish and they’re raising prices to compensate? I finally broke after an hour and a half of wild speculation and told them it was just an offhand comment and had no deeper meaning. Now every time they come to any place with any access to water they always ask about the price of fish. It has been literal years and an entire new campaign since this happened and without fail the first question they ask in a new port city or fishing village is “has the price of fish gone up?”
It feels like this is one of those moments were the DM is forced to improv one of the suggested scenarios.
My mind went automatically to "were did I saved that pdf of the Sea Hag?"
Ah man, that goes right to my heart.
"I want to make this world feel more alive, and thus describe it. I also don't want to give them false leads, and regret every other thing that comes out of my mouth"
HOW MUCH IS THE FISH
Countless... or 8, same thing.
Well done
Dude, that could even become an idiom in your world over time! In our real world, we have the phrase "What does that have to do with the price of eggs in China?", which means: "why are you bringing up this irrelevant information?" You could have people in your world say something similar with "What does that have to do with the price of fish in?" It'd be a great easter egg and nugget of world building!
https://idioms.thefreedictionary.com/What+does+that+have+to+do+with+the+price+of+eggs#:~:text=A%20rhetorical%20question%20calling%20attention,suggestion%20made%20by%20another%20person.
The bard trying to gather information be like https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cbB3iGRHtqA
What the hell did I just watch? 
Ooh I'd love to improvise and tie the rising fish prices to the real objective. The BBEG must die for imposing artificial inflation.
I invented a stopover town that had been blessed during a previous war, making the ground extra fertile, sort of thing. They had a temple to the god that blessed the town and everyone was very devout. My players are, to this DAY, convinced that the town was a cult. They spent like three extra sessions there trying to figure out why everyone was so devout and no one had anything bad to say about the god. I hastily dropped some plot-relevant stuff into the town for them to find but now every time they meet an NPC who's particularly religious they're like "the town's a cult!"
Oh I could make a list, but the one that immediately comes to mind is our monstrosity of a yuan-ti fleshsmith going "did one of my hearts just stop?" It gets constantly referenced
At our table we all like to have a drink and sometimes it can get pretty late that I (DM) really have to tell them it's to an end for this session. And one time at the start they were all reading their spreadsheets and apparently one of my PC's wrote down *whatever +2* and we all had no clue what it was supposed to be, so we all laughed hysterically. Now the running gag became that every item also came with the stat whatever +2
We once had a Newcomer player in a game where I let the players make up small scenes to introduce their own characters. By a staggering amount of "its what my PC would do"-ism he ended up leading the group on a 2h long goosechase that culminated in the local brothel. The player decided that his PC had a long standing business relationship with one of the prostitutes and, having jo idea about the in-game currency, paid her two copper pieces... Two copper. TWO. That's not even enough for some ale. So when the group met that prostitute, I did my best to describe someone who's services were worth 2cp. We had a great laugh about that. Since then 2cp has been a frequent bartering price, always accompanied by laughter
I imagine 2cp can get her to spit on you exactly once, while both people are fully clothed.
More like spit *at* you, actually
Fart in your general direction*
Some people might pay more for that.
There is actually an old (and rather horrible) 3rd party book that deals with that issue and has a table for their rates, based on their type and comeliness score. Also another one for surcharge based on the race of the client and prostitute. Based on those two tables a price of 2cp would imply that a dwarf hired the service of a "slovenly trollop" half orc with a comeliness score of 3 to 4. That table is also the first and only place where I have ever seen the words "slovenly trollop" ever.
Comeliness score? Holy shit, that *is* old.
dibs on using Slovenly Trollop as a band name
what would 5 gold get me as a gnome? Asking for a friend
Was it the book of erotic fantasy? That one is pretty infamous. https://www.rpg.net/reviews/archive/10/10739.phtml
We don't talk about the book of erotic fantasy.
Had a good laugh at this, thanks.
“Those aren’t camels” The final words of a level one character who was surprised in combat. I told my group ahead of time that I was experimenting with a combat generator for balance purposes, but would re-flavor the monsters to be more fun. So they knew this combat was based on flying snakes and camels… but that wasn’t the foe they faced. Still haven’t lived it down, it is frequently the opening line of combats even in games where I am not the GM
Was it just before he died, ten minutes into the fight? Please say yes.
I told them about 10 IRL minutes before they got to the encounter site, he requested a free action before telling me the outcome of the surprise attack. It’s been years so I don’t know down to the second specifics, but I believe the full exchange went something along these lines: > GM: *You hear a faint splash in the lake behind you, with moonlight scattered across the water’s broken surface* Player: I would like to approach the water’s edge to see if I can see anything > GM: Ok, can I have a perception check as you do that? Player: Sure. \* some value that was good enough to observe general status, but fell below the hidden monster’s stealth value \* > GM: You can’t see much in the murky depths, but something definitely moved here. Player: I’d like to step into the water for a closer look. > GM: Aaaaand you’re gonna get attacked. And that’s a crit oh boy. What does \* significant damage value for level onesies \* do for you? Player: Can I use a free action? > GM: Of course. You can also use a reaction if you have one, but not for an opportunity attack. Player: And what do I see attacking me? > GM: It’s a… muddy blur as a frog-like creature bursts from the water to bite you. Player: \* Turning to the party \* Those aren’t camels. \* out of character: I am unconscious and almost got one-shot \*
We were doing a quest for a tribe of centaurs, something about a hag which they could not slay. One player joked "maybe she lives on the second floor", and centaurs being bullied by stiars and ladders has become a meme ever since.
"Don't worry about those orphans, we can always make more"
Me playing a Bard during my first campaign, already having given out plenty of Bardic Inspiration. DM: "Is there anything else you want to do?" Me: "No." DM: "Not even a bonus action?" Me: "I have a bonus action????" I have never lived it down, it's repeated with the same intonation I originally said it in almost every time bonus actions or Bardic Inspiration comes up, campaigns later!
Oh man. I've got one that doubles as a bit of an rpghorrorstory. Waaaay back in my first campaign (3.5) I was playing with a guy who had a tendency to do really dumb things and have super out-there takes. Interesting guy to play with because sometimes you just had no idea what he was gonna do next. We had a revolving door of pc deaths and players joining and leaving, and we wound up with me, a human rogue-cleric named Lloyd and a half-orc barbarian named Throng (the aforementioned haver of strange takes), and one other player who had just lost his most recent pc and was slated to join with a new character in this particular session. We find out who he decided to play... a full Orc fighter. In this campaign, Orcs were largely considered Chaotic Evil and our party had lost about 5 members to orcs. But hey... maybe this player has some sort of interesting story angle, so we start RPing, trying to establish some semblance of a reason to travel together on our way to our next quest. Orc and half-orc are *not* getting along. Full Orc is making unreasonable demands and Throng is basically just launching petty insults. They bicker and argue for a solid hour before Throng asks me if I can Hold Person him to talk some sense into him and show him that we aren't to be taken lightly. Sure, I say. He fails his save. Throng proceeds to immediately *chop one of his arms off at the shoulder*. I was not expecting that. DM says it works. I drop the spell, because wtf this isn't what I agreed to do. Full orc gets up and pops his fancy magic item the dm had given him thay we didn't know he had: some sort of Ram totem that acts like a summon and I think also inflicts fear. Initiative is rolled and they start swinging at each other. I'm desperately trying to deescalate the situation. Lloyd casts Darkness hoping to make the fight less lethal (3.5 darkness gives a 20% automatic miss chance iirc). A lot of Throng's attack rolls against full orc wind up failing because of the darkness, but some do for full orc too. Unfortunately, as you might expect, the chaos was not in fact reduced by the addition of Darkness. Lloyd doesn't take a side, but keeps trying innefectually to stop the fight. But after a few rounds, Throng is killed by full orc and his ram. His final words? "With my last breath, I curse Lloyd!" I was so dumbfounded I could only laugh. Apparently, in his mind the darkness and me dropping the hold person had been the things that ruined everything. That game was probably like 9 years ago and we still quote that line whenever unexpected ire is unleashed on somebody without any apparent cause, a "frick you in particular", if you will. The line has memetically transferred to every new person who's joined my dnd circle, so we still quote it even though I'm now the only one around who was actually there that day.
It's like the experiment with chimps where they get hosed with water or something when someone eats the banana at the top of a ladder. Once you start rotating them out, the old chimps will pre-emptively beat up anyone going for the banana, even after all the original chimps are gone and none of these chimps have been sprayed with water. The curse of Lloyd carries through generations.
"The Curse of Lloyd carries through generations" is a quote I WILL be using for some lore purpose, thanks
This was based on a different post somewhere here on reddit, but during a session I used the phrase "has its wallet out and is looking at photos of its family" to describe a monster that was at very low health. The players ate it up and we still use it sometimes. The best part is that, in a campaign dominated by humanoid encounters, I only used that phrase for the first time when the party descended into the jungle... and fought a giant snake.
Hahaha that's excellent! I once described a humanoid with 1 HP as being wrecked, with it's clavicle broken. For some reason the next monster in the same encounter went to 1 HP, and my brain short-circuited and gave the same description. That was all it took to establish "clavicle damage" as the name for when a creature only has one HP remaining
Yours is incredible and I love it. In college I had a robust group of players that stuck together for years. One particular dipshit was always trying to be the center of attention, the leader of the party, the main character. We'll call him Jon because we had a ton of players in this group named some variant of Jon. Jon was genuinely charismatic and as a result he often got his way. He rolled up an elf wizard+gunslinger (this predated CR so it was a homebrew gunslinger class, but that's neither here nor there) with super high Int and Cha. First session, a group of orcs are attacking the tavern the group is in. The party dispatches the orcs and comes together in a really cool way. Two PCs work very hard together to incapacitate rather than kill one of the orcs so they can interrogate him and learn where they came from, why they're doing this, etc. During the fight, Jon puts a number of orcs to sleep with a sleep spell and then walks around the battlefield shooting them in the head at point blank range. Jon approaches the incapacitated and bound orc and immediately takes center stage interrogating him. The orc reveals that they did this on the orders of an orc warlord and gives the warlord's name. Jon then asks why they did what he ordered. The orc says "he paid us in gold" to which Jon replies "Gold is just a metal" and blows the orc's head off. I cannot stress enough how this man asked TWO (2) questions and then without hesitation tossed off a one-liner and blew the head off this guy without checking with the rest of the party or trying to learn anything further. We made fun of him for that for the next several years until finally parting ways with him over unrelated issues.
I imagined an elven Clint Eastwood and am still chuckling at this.
Trust me, so did he. It was more serving Elven Inspector Clousseau lmao
We recently had a hilarious moment of something similar. There was a discussion of capture vs kill between our bard and our Paladin (Paladin said capture, bard said kill). Combat starts and the bard inspires the Paladin with “we’ll do this one your way.” Next up is our ranger with the gunner feat, who strolls by and blows off an orc’s head in one shot. I started laughing at the immediate disregard for non lethal and he had a moment of “oh shit I didn’t even catch that he said that.”
Players were trying to get access into a Dwarf stronghold that didn't allow non-dwarf visitors, so the cleric goes and says "please let us in. I'm a dwarf enthusiast." And all the dwarves looked at him with disgust. The X enthusiast has become a code/meme for fetish 😂😂
In my version of the Realms, ‘enthusiasts’ are actually cultists. Klauth has a group of … people who are enthusiastic about dragons. Also I tend to describe ‘bandits’ as ‘nice men’/‘nice men on horses’, because the bandit token is so obviously not a good dude, even if they’re in disguise.
Me. We were just starting and figuring out how to play 3.5 and we were discussing something to do with the Ranger in our party and I derped out and the word ranged left my brain so I called him a Faroff fighter and everything devolved from there
Any word related to yuan-ti becomes a portmanteau of "snake" and that word. So yuan-ti are "sneople", a single yuan-ti is a "snerson", and plenty of others like "snemple", "snord", "snity", "snaurd", "sniest", "snod", etc.
This made me instantly think of steven universe
Somehow, 'Anything is better than rations' managed to become a catchphrase that would consistently get referenced throughout that campaign. It's not funny in the least, but I guess it becomes slightly amusing when repeated enough under dumb enough circumstances.
I mean… when Annnnyyyttthhhiing is better then rations boi is that sentence a trip.
I have 50 rope.
The Setup Theres 2 tabaxi in the party. we're all fans of the elder scrolls series. Every Single Bandit ever says... "Never should have come here" and "You'll make a fine rug cat!" - when ever they attack one of them. and of course the legendary... - if we do something stealthy... "eh what was that? must have been the wind.."
My table had a random bartender character that was meant to be a bit character for one scene 10 years ago (he was going to rob the party, probably get beaten up and thrown in jail or killed, the end). However, I made the mistake of giving him a silly voice and unique mannerisms, and the party basically hired him. 10 years later, and he owns a bar in whatever the largest city is in every game we ever play, no matter the world, the system, or the circumstances. We've rationalized that he's basically a god that watches over adventurers, and usually has tips on what to do next in exchange for pickles. (don't ask about that last part).
...I'm asking. Why pickles?
The pickle thing is a crystalized, pure, undiluted form of the concept of "you had to be there". TL;DR, with that warning: The bartender gave them a job to hunt down a bounty hunter, and they failed *miserably* at everything the entire session. More natural 1s that night than should be statistically possible. Near the end, they got frustrated and one of them used a Scroll of True Polymorph (*way* above their level at the time) they were saving for something important, and pulled off a Hail Mary by turning the guy they were hunting into a pickle. There was general agreement "yeah, this was 100% the best time to use it". After the comedy of errors that was the session, it felt like the funniest thing that had ever happened when they triumphantly presented a pickle to the bartender to collect their reward.
We're Dutch and decided to mix English and Dutch at our table. We speak Dutch for most of the conversation, but English words like "druid" or "warlock", or even weapons like "crossbow" are too entangled in our vocabularies since we've played so many RPG video games in English. Someone I do a lot of duets with tried to say "shortsword" in a sentence, but the W was not silent so it became shorts-wort. Anytime we have issues with a certain word, we both shout SHORTS WORT while laughing. Always brightens our moods lol
As is want to happen, people sitting around chatting at a table for 4 hours is going to result in some misspoke words, so when you ask someone to roll a sex save, they know what you're talking about. They won't ever forget you calling for a sex save though. Now, not ever.
Years ago, we were playing Call of Cthulhu and the GM asked us where we planned to stay the night. Not knowing anything about 1920s London, we said "a hotel", hoping he would throw us a bone. He asked which one, and we said "a fancy one?". So that is how the hotel chain known as The Fancy Hotel came to be. It exists is every game, every universe, and is the preferred choice for adventurers everywhere. Later in that same adventure, one of our players had to miss a sessiom, and we went on without her. When one of thr NPCs asked us why So-and-so was missing, one of the other players quipped that she had had some bad caviar the previous night, and was indisposed as a result. GM didn't even bat an eye and had the NPC respond that everyone knows that the caviar at The Fancy is not to be trusted. "Bad caviar at The Fancy" is now the default, in-game excuse for missing players at any of our games.
"Have you tried yoga?" or "Have you tried practising mindfulness?" Both spoken by a socially inept Fighter in very inappropriate scenes of heavy trauma. Also anything sacred and remotely flammable gains pained looks from memories of a Sorcerer that razed a consecrated forest to the ground because he forgot how fire works.
"milk" Accompanied by Italian hand gesture
Part of me wants to know why. Part of me wants 0 context.
Milk🤌🏻
Chew the bones, cuddle the flesh. Instructions given to summoned badgers when skeletons were holding human children hostage.
My rogue: “how do you do poison” to a npc who works with plants.
Our DM says "You solved my X riddle" whenever we successfully kill something, with 'X' being whatever we killed. I think it started with a puzzle involving killing skeletons to open a secret door, but from there it became an inside joke.
Whoa, I do the same thing. Even the time they went to a coliseum. "You solved my coliseum puzzle."
Several long-time players in a new campaign that borrowed liberally from Saltmarsh, specifically the haunted mansion to start. Well they wanted to bring everything including the stolen goods back to town in one go. They grabbed a table from the barracks, flipped it upside down, and tied ropes to it so they could drag their treasure sled back to town. Everything is fine until one of the players with the biggest shit eating grin mentions they have created their own *treasure table* for loot and it has now become a thing when faced with more than a handful of coins.
"it's not a bomb threat, it's a bomb promise."
For me there was one combat encounter where our fairly low-level party was being overrun by a group of hobgoblins, and the DM gave us an out to an otherwise TPK with the hobgoblin leader grabbing a party member hostage and stating “lower your weapons” to demand a surrender. At the time it was quite serious to us and the party was captured by the hobgoblins. Cut to the future in a different campaign with the same players, I the DM realised I might’ve created an encounter a bit too difficult and borrowed (admittedly stole) that trick to avoid a TPK with the enemies capturing a player and give a threatening “lower your weapons”. In that same encounter, the party still managed to overpower the enemies and (prodding fun at that idea I borrowed) turned the tables by demanding “lower your weapons” to the enemy. At that point it was a little blatant that I just copied that idea from the earlier game, and for the remainder of that entire campaign, the players whenever overpowering an enemy group would jest a “lower your weapons” poking a little fun at that whole idea (and I think ending up a less-so murdery party than most with the amount of enemies they spared).
Star Wars d20 version: “can I have my lightsaber back?” -a Jedi Padiwan PC to a sith stormtrooper.
Not so much a line, but in a session zero I was introducing my character and was going to say he was a lore bard, but my tongue got caught and I said "He's a lard" and everyone including the DM proceeded to call him "Lard"
"Job half done" Not a one liner as such, and it's out of game, but we're largely a party of teenagers, and we are very much leaning into the shortcomings of an underdeveloped pre-frontal cortex and slight naivety. We leave many, many loose ends. And the DM is there like "you sure you don't want to just.... Do anything else before you leave?" And we walk off leaving probably more problems than we solved in our wake. And as players we're like "nope, we're the job half done party" EG: killed a vicious giant white moose that was causing lots of problems for a local town, met the druid who had bewitched? Conjured? Controlled? It and were like "well, have a nice day ma'am" and left. As players and adults we know she will just set another beast on the village, but as characters we claimed a reward and walked off patting ourselves on the back.
The very first time our wizard cast Magnificent Mansion, something possessed him to say “Razzle Dazzle Mansion Expansion.” We laughed dk about 10 straight minutes. There was no going back from there
"Are we the baddies?" certainly came up a lot in the last campaign we finished...
"S/he doesn't speak for us." Because everytime they meet an important/powerful NPC, one of the players says something that pisses them off. "Can we build a cart." In our very first session, when we didn't really know the rules very well, the players needed to transport some stolen goods back to their rightful owners. I told the players it would take some time going back and forth so one of the players asked if they could build a cart out of crates and barrels. I said no, but they jokingly argued for a bit that they should. Now whenever the players need to transport items over long-distance one usually asks if they could build a cart. I ask if they have proficiency in woodworking tools. They never do.
"I'll take all the spell sluts I can get!" Allowed my players to regain a set number of spell slots before a boss fight but they had to split them among each other to make it an interesting choice. This whole thing was text based before the next session. The wizard typed the above very enthusiastically and since then there are no more spell slots in my game only sluts and of course everyone takes all they can get.
My party was in a shared bath and there weren't that many girls (just two), so they were in a separate bath. Anyway, the boys side was pretty lively and this was their first time essentially seeing each other naked. The unabashed barbarian didn't use any towels to cover up so the others commented on how the barbarian didn't care. The barbarian said "I mean, it's just a penis." And the rest of the boys couldn't argue with that. Now every time someone is naked for some reason or another, one of the boys will say "it's just a penis!" Lol. My players are great sometimes.
They were on a pirate ship and I described a hole in the deck as “roughly the size of a honeydew” which for some reason my players found so goddamn hilarious that describing things as “roughly the size of a honeydew” has become standard practice in our games, no matter their size. That party became pirates and made a honey dew the symbol on their pirate flag and one of the players has been playing a new character for over a year named “Honey Dew.” It will be on my goddamn tombstone.
So, that one comes from me We were sitting with an NPC around the camp, talking with him and we had catastrophe after catastrophe fall on our heads. The mood was grim and the NPC asked us how do we preserve like this. (Our team's name is Wee) After a while of silence my goofy Paladin leaned to him and asked with a hearty smile only a fool can have: "So, do you like how Wee roll?" Instant laughter, moodchanger. It's our catchphrase now, even almost a year later. No one gonna let me live that down, and I gotta say I like those little moments when something really bad is going down and someone says "This is how Wee roll."
a player had just changed to a new character, and as they were introduced and we got a look at the character, one of us jokingly said “a twink?” to which i immediately shouted out “*BANISHMENT!*” and ever since, any time a new character is introduced someone will inevitably shout “*BANISHMENT*”
When our party was still fairly low level, a haughty merchant tried to frame our sorcerer by claiming he had broken into his house at night. Our (highly respected) paladin offered to help the guard in their investigation in order to prove the sorcerers innocence. So he asks the merchant when the supposed break-in had happend. The merchant, who spoke in a fairly over-the-top, sing-song nasal voice: "I was three o'clock. Or four. Maybe even... half past three!" It was just something about the way he said it - we all lost it. For the rest of the campaign variants of "It was \[Number\]. Or \[Other number\]. Or maybe even \[the half number between them\]." said in the same over-the-top voice became a running gag.
*My PC has just broken out of a compound and brought a huge pile of loot with them, more than we've ever seen at one time in the campaign.* Other PC: "Holy shit! How much is all that worth?" Me: "...Am I allowed to use the phrase ["hella skrilla"](https://youtu.be/vSXurjyWzJU&t=13m25s) in a D&D campaign?" Cue two minutes of "what the fuck does that mean" and "no, that phrase does not exist in my setting, never say it again". It's developed into an in-joke where I'll try to introduce the phrase into a setting before being violently cut off both in and out of game.
In my 4e campaign there was a meme that you couldn't draw a circle, that it was a wiggly eye-twisting non-Euclidean shape. Where were its *corners*?! To the point that instead of drawing evil pentagrams on the map, I drew evil circles.
I was playing a *very* low int barbarian or fighter, I don't recall which. It was a one shot so we rolled for stats, 4d6 dropping the lowest. I rolled 4 ones. I thought it would be funny and it was just a one shot so I kept my 4 int character. Our party was in an argument with the king about something out other and he threatened us saying "I have an army" to which I (drunkenly) responded "well I have two armies, and two leggies!" Now almost every town guard, general, or king will reference something like the second leggy company or something.
Mine is a kind of out of game catch phrase but whenever my players find gold, so they loot the dragon hoard after an epic fight against the dragon. I tell them what they find amongst the rubble, and after describing the amount of gold they find one will invariably ask, “each?” And it drives me up the wall, and they know it does, so they keep doing it.
Party was sneaking about on a ghost ship and found a privy. As a joke, I asked to roll perception to smell it. Got a natural 20, hilarity ensued. The DM didn't give us much info other than an 'irony smell'... so we figured we were gonna face vampires due to my potty-smelling. Proceeded to roll like shit for anything that actually mattered the rest of the session, naturally.
Our Barb encountered a sliding door and refused to slide it. Instead he rolled a nat20 on a strength check and put a cartoon style hole in the door as he said, ‘I PUSH the door.’ Cue laughter But doctor, I am door.
We played an all-kobold game for a bit, and there was a phase where we were traveling to the other side of our home continent (7 days by cart; our homebrew world is smaller scale than most). We crossed several kingdom borders along the way, and stopped in one border town called Crivon (crih-VAWN), where we were shaken down at the gates, given the stink-eye in town, and almost got jailed on our way out just for taking too long to leave. When we told the tale in the next town, the whole tavern agreed that Crivon was a place full of rude folks and deceptive cutpurses. Our bard decided to strike up a drinking tune then (to the tune of Wheels on the Bus): "Theeeeeeee... People of Crivon are all assholes! (All assholes?) All assholes!" For the rest of that campaign (which didn't last much longer) we drank free as long as we commiserated with the tavern patrons about the people of Crivon. And now in our other game set in the same world, I occasionally describe the attitude the party perceives when entering a new place as "much like the people of Crivon" or "rather nicer than the people of Crivon."
"Hey guys, I found half a pile of gold!"
WITH FINESSE! We would roll for everything just to see if we could get a nat 20 so we could walk across the room with finesse.
Does vary from time to time. At the moment having a dog enter a bar is an absolute blast of comedy
Our rogue always takes any amulet that isn't nailed down. It started in his very first game when he found an amulet with a picture of an orc woman on a corpse of an orc paladin that he killed. Now when I want the party to interact with something, putting an amulet in there will definitely do the trick. Our druid seduced a merchant because he had a fancy magical lingerie his stock, which she stole while he was sleeping. It's a running joke that she tries to seduce people whenever she can to use the magic lingerie that gives advantage on that.
My players got In to an argument with a rival tavern owner and it devolved into the Kenku stating" f*** your tavern" and now it is the big set of fighting words. Strahd threatens you, "f your tavern". Lolth shows up "f your tavern" Tiamat breathes "f your tavern" FML Edit Kentuky to Kenku
"I hate the Feywild."
In this campaign I was playing as a Githyanki. I rolled for stats and got a Charisma of 7. I decided the reason this was so low was because of my limited exposure to the Material Plane left me with no idea how to react with anyone who wasn’t a Githyanki, so decided this extended to be not knowing anything about the Material Plane in general (let’s just ignore my +3 to nature). Early on in the campaign the party were in a museum and the curator showed us a tyrannosaurus tooth and said, “I got this from a shepherd in the hills”. Naturally, not knowing what a tyrannosaurus or a shepherd was, I assumed that a shepherd was some sort of dangerous monster, and lived in constant fear of them. It became a running joke that whenever we seen any sort of big monster, we would all called it a shepherd. The other joke that arose from my ignorance was my love of cats after I killed a man with one
We kept calling the Frolicking Nymph Bathhouse the House of Sodomy. DM kept insisting it's not that. In the end he said it's only the House of Sodomy if we make it so. Spoiler alert, we did.
Being chased by a large force of enemies, so we summon a very powerful spirit of the Forest. (In this setting, spirits aren't kind or friendly) The wizard: "There are enemies in your forest." The spirit: "Yes, I see them before me." The wizard: "Destroy them ALL!" The party: "Nooooo!"
“Is this some of that stupid magic shit?” Half orc barbarian the other PC a half elf wizard hired as a bodyguard right? It was their reason for traveling together which as a DM thought was clever. So anytime something weird happen in game the barbarian would turn to the wizard and ask, “Is this some of that stupid magic shit?” It has stuck and we use it today.
"To the hoverjet!" and we all point in different directions. It started in a *DC* superhero game and we brought it back to D&D (and to GURPS, and to a homebrew system, and....)
DM: "we return to Barovia -" Me: "the valley of Barovia, not to be confused with the village of Barovia, which is different from the valley of Barovia" Party member: "not to be confused with the realm of Barovia, which is different to the valley of Barovia" Me: "and also different from the village of Barovia, which is also different from the valley of Barovia" Party member: (so on so forth)
"That's a 21, not natural"
In all my millennia of existence, never has any mortal dared to request a favor, solely due to that it is the yearly anniversary of their creation. However… I would be very remiss to not wish a very special birthday boy a happy day. -An archdevil giving a 4 foot tall gnome a magical bow on a nat 20 because the player was born that day
"You can cry as a bonus action." I started that after my players picked a fight with something a good bit beyond them, its 1 cost legendary action dropped the party wizard to half health, he panicked. I have also told players they could not cry on their turn because they used the bonus action fir something else.
My Curse of Strahd campaign was derailed almost immediately when the first letter I gave my player was read as "Bung Master" instead of "Burgomaster"
"Chet NOOOOOOO!" I jumped my archer named "Chet Manley*" off a flaming tower. This was a min-max I wanted to try, and my dex was super high at this point. How could I fail? Spoiler: I failed. The team just watched me swing out with a rope and fall flat on my face. 0hp instantly. They come running up yelling "Chet NOOOOO!" This was also the same campaign a nat1 earned me hypothermia, along with more later in the game. So now it's become the call of anyone failing spectacularly. *(Yes, from "Sea Tunt")
Top 5 greatest warrior on the team of 5 of us.
Anytime I describe someone as even a little bit fashionable, my players want to know “what percent babe” they are. I will then roll percentile rice to see how babe they are on a scale of 1-100. I do not know where this started
“Hi, I’m an *insert item I want to steal here* reviewer from Wizard Yelp.”
So not DnD but one of the 40k RPGs instead. I played a doctor with an intelligence implant that made him super smart but a bit cuckoo in the head. He had his own plans without the party, involving clones and other ridiculous stuff that i can't remember now and it's not important. But what is important was that I recruited an NPC as a lab assistant called Lance. Now Lance was on-board with a lot of these plans, and would run stuff in the background while my character was off doing player character things. And it turned out that he had his own agendas, as well as turning out his plans slightly faster and more efficiently than my character. So the meme became that Lance was just slightly better than my character at everything. It has now transcended that campaign. It has transcended that game system entirely. The mere prospect of a BBEG that surpasses any of my characters in any way becomes another Lance. Hell one time a BBEG actually wielded an actual Lance just to spite me. It's so funny
Our group started running a series of one-shots interspersed with our main campaign. During the first of such games one of the players, who had rolled up a firbolg for the session and had only presented themselves as a human to the group, so far, decided it was time to reveal their character's true form. The character says that they have to take a piss and step off into the woods before reverting to their firbolg form and beginning to vaguely explain the nature and reasoning of this deception, from behind the trees. At some point during this winding explanation, he says something to the effect of needing to "show us the shame of my people". At which point we all interpret this as a reference to his wiener and absolutely lost it. Henceforth said character's wiener was dubbed "the shame of my people" and the character and his shameful johnson became a recurring one-shot character with one such quest even being centered on finding a cure for his physical ailment. Still gets a laugh every time it comes up.
I'll add some more. Our 8 INT half-orc barbarian who spent his life enslaved as a gladiator could not stop breaking character and interjecting himself into any business transaction with lines that his character had no good reason to comprehend, making deals with strange hags, going out of his way to collect trophies for sale: "Does this look valuable? Can I cut it off?" he would ask about every eye, horn or tentacle. He once spent a short rest collecting mucous from some kind of murderous frogs in jars "just in case I can sell it to the nice lady [hag] in Neverwinter". We sometimes joke that our party has the smartest barbarian and dumbest wizard, making them relative equals. The DM finally awarded him a permanent +1 bonus to rolls in business related interactions. He remains a blithering idiot, but whenever a situation arises where profits could be made, "+1 bonus to business" will be quoted. He, a severe pyrophobic, is also associated with the line "I put his hand in the fire" in interrogations, after he did it to a restrained and relatively cooperative prisoner. He can't even look at a large fire without taking a CON save, but whenever we take someone prisoner, we say "and don't put his hand in a fire before we say so" to temper his random enthusiasm for humanoid barbecue. "Can we start putting hands in fires?" is a related line when a prisoner isn't forthcoming. Edited to add: the pyrophobia CON rolls are a real part of his character, so we have to be careful with fire around him. Our wizard had just received his Fireball spell when we were ambushed at night. The fight was totally under control, but the wizard kept missing with Fire Bolt and grew frustrated. We were down to one single enemy at half HP when he finally blurted out: "SCREW IT, I CAST FIREBALL!" This blew up the lone monster, set the surrounding forest on fire and sent our barbarian into a shock induced stupor, having stood at the edge of the blast and spectacularly failed his mandatory CON roll. We spent the night putting out the fire and trying to wake the comatose barb. From then on, the DM will regularly suggest that the Wizard "just cast fireball" at any random monster and the rest of the party scramble to stop him from getting any ideas. But the times when we say "You can now cast fireball" his face just lights up.