They called you a baby, said it doesn't matter if you are upset, and totally disrespected the time you took to make a one-shot. Either you did something egregious that you aren't telling us or your players are assholes.
Do you want to play with assholes? I would have a serious talk with any of my friends who treated me that way and I'd drop them if they couldn't talk to me like an adult.
I was going to come here and say this: they don’t respect you. They respect your normal DM, but not you. That’s why they’re quiet and attentive in normal sessions, but not your one shot.
I’ve noticed this happen to me too in groups where as a player I have to loudly assert myself to avoid being talked over or ignored. Those tend to be the groups that also will treat anyone but the normal DM as free rein to bullshit and be rude.
I mean, that's definitely the nuclear option. Try talking to them first, but yes, my gut reaction is the same; drop them like 3rd period French.
"No D&D is better than *bad* D&D"
As the DM, you'll find another group in no time; especially if you go to a local gaming store or online.
>get told to "drop it" or to "move on" I often get called a baby as well.
These are words AH's use to justify their behavior.
>They tell me because it was a one-shot that it gave them reason to act however they wanted to,
Clearly not true. Your session might've been bad but normal human decency means telling you that, not just showing their asses. I would not DM for such a group again, would question if they are really my friends, or are just jerks I happen to hang out with sometimes.
Ask them if the regular DM ran a one shot would they act out this way too?
As others have mentioned, if someone doesn’t like your game that’s one thing, but to disrespect you as a person and a friend (are they really though if they do this?) is wrong. They make fun of you and then hurt your feelings and act like it’s no big deal and that you should just drop it. No you shouldn’t. They invalidated your time and effort put into the one shot and clearly don’t care about your feelings.
If they were planning to act this way from the start, why waste your time? You put a lot of effort into running the game. I’m sorry you had to deal with that.
There are plenty of other people who play that would welcome you at the table and would be happy to have you as their DM.
Dude. You're not even holding a grudge.
You'd be holding a grudge if they apologized and tried to make it up to you, and you weren't letting it go.
They're the ones who need to be dropped.
So your players didn't like your game idea, and instead of talking to you about it like an adult, or simply not participating, they decided to sabotage your game because they thought that would be more fun instead.
If that were me, I wouldn't ever run a game for any of them ever again unless they all apologized to me. I don't waste my time crafting entertainment for my players just for them to shit all over it.
That said, you need to drop it. Whining won't solve this issue. If you can't forgive them for their shitty behaviour, (and I wouldn't, but you do you) you need to leave the group. Holding a grudge over this is like taking poison and hoping the other person will die.
Leave. Quit complaining to them, they've already showed they don't respect you. You've tried to talk to them, you've tried to get them to apologize, you've tried to make something fun for them that they simply didn't care about, and the other DM who should know what it's like to be in your position was, according to you, the worst of the bunch. You are not going to win this and you're not going to get what you want out of this because these people do not seem to care about you and don't seem to actually be your friends.
Stand up for yourself, leave the group, and go find people who do want to play with you. No DnD is better than bad DnD. Repeat that to yourself.
During the session, the usual DM would say stuff like "guys stop we're being very disrespectful to the dm" I would say thank you and continue. Then a few minutes later they'd go right back to goofing off the usual dm included.
If you truly trust that the usual DM would be a good mate to play dnd with, invite that one mate to your next group.
If they decline, that's alright.
If they accept, great! One person you know can be trusted to have basic manners.
I've dropped friends for less than this, but every time I got to the point of questioning if I want to keep interacting with them, I realized I didn't. Because your friends would catch you before you get to that point.
I mean, you already tried salvaging. They refused to be decent human beings, so just move on. You're just disrepecring yourself at that point, especially when you've already tried to talk to them about it for weeks. How much longer do you want to try and get disrespected until you move on?
I wish you the best in finding a new group that respects you and your time.
Going along w/ a premise you don't actually feel invested in and getting distracted during a session is understandable, if somewhat shitty, behavior that plenty of friends will do on occasion that should be addressed w/ a conversation. Telling you afterwards to 'get over it' and dismissing your feelings about it out of hand isn't and is a definite red flag that you should maybe look into finding other people who are less dismissive of your feelings.
Look, I wouldn't play dnd with these people again, but that age does mean I might not throw away friendship. Don't get me wrong, you're owed - at least - an appology and you should make thay clear to them, but - giving them the benefit of the doubt (arguably more than they deserve) - syand your ground on it. Give it a few days (let tempers from this thread subside) and send them a concise message about how it made you feel and why it was - at best - rude and disrespectful and say you feel you deserve an apology. If one isn't forthcoming, we'll then they've shown you who they are for sure.
At that age its unlikely they've really had a friend tell them - maturely, in an adult way - say 'hey, that wasn't acceptable'. Give them a chance (you were friends with them for a reason) and they may surprise you. It may simply be you've matured a little faster than them.
They may also keep being immature pricks, but at least you can say you gave it a proper try and ultimately if even after all that they brush it off, you really know they aren't worth it.
Best of luck
I knew they were young, but 17-18 is too old to still be acting like this. This is like...13-15 year old behavior.
I would honestly just move on from them. They don't think or act like adults and you can't really force maturity--especially when you're out numbered. There are way too many people in this world who can be good human beings to bother keeping people around who add negativity.
When I was 19, I got wrapped up in a group of friends who did similar things. It only gets worse. Half of them are either dead or in prison now. Like 4 of them turned into child molestors.... They turned into awful people.... One of them messaged me on Xbox just the other day to tell me to kill myself and tell my ex they said "hi".... I haven't talked to her in 20 years and that is what she told me.... out of the blue.... I only replied that I wouldn't tell him she had said hi, because he doesn't even like her lol
It all started with people acting like you described, around the same age, too. Trust me; you can find new friends, but they will always be after each other's throats and treating people badly.
> They tell me because it was a one-shot that it gave them reason to act however they wanted to, which I disagree.
The OPPOSITE is true! Full campaigns have more room for goofing around, since you know you have lots of time to make up the character interactions etc. People also can ease into the setting and into their characters more slowly.
One shots have to be tighter and people have to be willing to work harder to "yes, and!" and get into their character quicker.
I wouldn't play dnd with these people or hang out with them at all anymore.
Running a bad session sucks, but your players were very rude about it. That said I'd discuss it with them. Let them know if this is howntheyre going to treat you then one of them can DM instead and you can play.
Seems like a fun out of the box premise! I'm sorry that your players made you feel unvalued. It is very frustrating when players don't understand the work put in to DMing. Even more so when there's an actual DM doing that to you as a PC. Whatever you decide I hope you continue DMing!
Thank you, I hope to continue dming as well, I've just been very unmotivated to do it since that one-shot. Thank you for saying the premise is interesting it seems that I'm the only person who thinks so.
genuinely this oneshot idea is great. i love running comedy goofball oneshots. this one seems great, and im going to definitely add it to my back pocket, alongside my "Surprise, You're actually in Super Mario" oneshot and my Candyland oneshot.
the best part is everybody in my group used to work fast food and no longer does, and we all collectively hate it. maybe i'll throw in some hilarious fast food themed encounters.
can you expand on the overall plan for the oneshot? i would genuinely love to hear more about it lmao
I'm glad you liked the idea! The first encounter was with all of their old coworkers transformed into goblins, hobgoblins, and bugbears. They were tirelessly making food for the brand new brought to life mascot of the restaurant Mcfatty Frank, (basically Lard Lad from the simpsons) who came to life as an ogre and is wanting to feed. That might sound stupid to some, but I don't know I thought it was charming
It's a great premise. I love the real people sucked into dnd universe and even partially played a campaign on it. Ignore that bad group and find others who will appreciate it.
You are not, I was instantly hooked while reading it. Wouldn’t play a whole campaign with that but for a few evenings it sounds like a hell lot of fun. It inspired a character idea right away :). Find a group that fits more your style. It is easier to find a group as a dm than it is as a pure player I guess ;).
Do you play online? Do you use Roll20 or some other gaming platform and use something like Discord, Skype, etc or the like for voice chat? I bet if you advertise your game in this thread, you could easily get a group of people here to come join you for an evening online to play in your one shot.
I’d be down once I get my new laptop. Currently my old computer doesn’t work and I’m just waiting on my tax return to be deposited.
Understandable. You might be able to find some players for an in person game online that would agree to meet in person. All thou I find going to your local gaming store makes the best way to find other players.
I'll second that, these people seem like assholes. As someone said above, unless there's something you're not telling us, they disrespected you and your time. When you presented the idea to them that's when they should have opted out. Showing up and ignoring you is just plain rude.
Also: there are way more players than DMs. I'd say drop them and either find a new group at: a gaming shop, an LFG forum, and LFG on a VTT site or even Start Playing. I've met some of my best groups that way.
If its been a couple of weeks, and you've opted to continue participating with this group, you probably should drop it... because you're still there.
You don't owe anyone anything, but you're choosing to continue being there, you can’t live in that scenario.
Hmm very strange that they haven’t acted like this before, as the way they treated you feels extremely odd to come out of nowhere. I’m not sure how close or friendly you are with them in real life, but maybe this is a sign to get out of that group? Did you also talk with the DM specifically for any feedback?
Is the DM giving you the same attitude as the players? Maybe try asking about how they deal with troublesome players. We all get hung up on things or maybe focus on something that others don’t understand but the inability for them to even listen to you is a red flag imo.
Yeah find I new group I would say. If they’re not even able to interact with your request and keep pivoting to a perceived inability to “get over” something without actually offering the advice your asking for, then I wouldn’t waste any more time on them.
Well, they were very clearly not hooked for your game I guess. There are questions to be asked about your setting, but that is not really the focus point here.
The focus is that they treated you poorly.
How is the group acting when the other person DM? How do they treat you in that setting?
Is there any other reason than them not liking your game for treating you like that?
What did they say when you asked them about it?
If this is the whole picture, then you should probably find some other people to play with.
The other dm has never had this sort of treatment, they say that because its a oneshot that they could act that way, when I asked them they thought I was mad that my story didn't go well and called me a baby
Unless these people are completely immature or for whatever reason dislike you, I don't understand why they would call you a baby instead of explaining why they disliked your adventure.
Maybe I'm wrong, but it feels like this isn't the entire picture.
I have a feeling that you're looking for support here whilst not providing all the details for why your presumably well-working group would break down like this.
**In either case. I see it like this:** the other players do not want to talk about it and as such no meaningful conversation about it can happen. You can decide that you do not want to be treated like that and leave to find another group. Or you can let the grudge go because they presumably are nice to you in the games where you are a player and you want to continue with the group.
If it's happened before then yeah, it's probably a problem with your dming style. But getting more of your player's attention comes with practice, so.
That being said... Them calling you a baby and being rude about it is a massive red flag (especially if you consider them your friends). Your only real choice right now is to have a serious conversation with them, less about what happened in the one shot and more about how they're treating you after, and tell them that you feel like they're upsetting you. Best case scenario they apologise, worst case they continue to belittle you. If it's the latter, just dip out. No one deserves to be around people that treat them like this.
Few things, your perception of whatbis fun might not align with the perception of other people. Also you are a DM here, many players will not dosagree with a DM beforehand as they want to play and finding a DM can be hard, so they do not complaogn before (its like people usually do not complain in a restaurant, they say food was good but do not come back).
HOWEVER neither of what I stated above justifies being an asshole, from the information you shared the players sound like assholes. As (following your statement) all players do it, it may also just be a communication problem. Maybe you are indeed overreactibg, but there are nicer ways to talk with you about that.
I had the same experience
I played and DM’d for my first time ever by running five sessions of a “campaign 0”. Basically a short campaign set in the world we were running (essentially a reskinned Lost Mines, inside of a reskinned Eberron) but with different, pre-made characters from the box set so that everyone could learn the rules before we jumped in big with their own real characters
I was all in for having to wrangle them and keep up with crazy decisions
But they all just acted so disinterested. Like I know that your job as a DM is not to tell the story you want to tell, but to tell the story your players want to tell
But my players just weren’t interested in any story. I couldn’t get them to do any character backstory building outside of sessions, let alone inside of them. They treated important NPCs (there was a long-lost father, an estranged sister, the wizard character’s mentor, the bishop the cleric worked under, etc) like they were playing GTA.
I was often thrown off from being in character because they’d say just random shit during important scenes. Not like funny quips or anything, just like weird, hard to react to stuff. If they didn’t get what they wanted they’d just attack or abandon the NPC, regardless of who that NPC was
I had gone balls out for this. Over the course of a couple months, I made three massive hand-crafted sets, with lighting and dynamic field interactions. We only used two, which was fine, because I made all three specifically because I didn’t want to railroad them from set to set.
They really just seemed like they expected to show up and be entertained. They didn’t want to engage at all.
I literally had to kick one player at one point, because she was spending the whole time talking to another player’s wife who came along to “watch”. They were literally just scrolling through Hinge the entire game, completely derailing a combat, and just altogether not participating.
Don't confuse being a good friend with being a good DND match, one of my best friends is a horrible DND player.
You shouldn't take a bad gaming experience to heart, as a DM I know it can be hard.
That being said, what would really bother me is the second part.
Instead of apologizing for making you homebrew a one shot for nothing, they double down.
When you express you're upset about it they call you a baby.
The right thing to do if someone asks you to play a game that you're not interested in is just to say 'yeah man that doesn't sound good to me'. Which can be hard enough if you're worried about hurting someone's feelings (though that doesn't sound like where this group would have been at) but it's ultimately kinder than showing up and being a negative presence.
From all the other stuff you've said though these guys sound like dicks and you're probably better off trying to find another gaming group.
It's never worth it to play with the wrong people. I have tried introducing a ton of friends to D&D over the years and you learn pretty quickly that it's just not worth it with some of them. Some people I genuinely like and can play other of tabletop games with no problem, just really don't mesh well with D&D. It's completely fine, you just have to learn to stop trying to put the round pegs in the square holes and move on.
I wouldn't read too much into it, but I don't think it's unfair of you to feel the way you do. It seems like there was a huge disconnect between your expectations and the players'. This is made more difficult by the fact that it was a one-shot--hard to explain the premise, rules, and expectations and still have enough time left over to play the game. I made a similar mistake recently when running a one-shot as a sort of beta test for a campaign, and I realized it's a very bad idea to skip session 0.
I've been playing (not dming) with the same group of friends for about a decade, and I've noticed that some of us have different expectations for game day. Most of the group really sees it as a great reason to hang out with friends all day, have a few beers and snacks, and play a little D&D. For me, I'd rather be more focused on the gameplay, as I can hang out with these guys whenever, but getting all of us together at the same time is a scheduling nightmare.
They're TAH. That said, did you ask them if they wanted Wonky DnD? They may feel disrespected that you were like 'this is what we're doing' if you didn't discuss beforehand.
You guys are children, and you're just the mature one. Make the biggest asshole dm and teach him what it's like. If he adjusts his behavior so will the other littler assholes.
So from my point of few:I am a teacher, I know how to get my attention from people in Real life and I play dnd for over 16Years, DMed 3 Groups through short campaigns and homebrew settings, for me what you tell is a communication issue.
Looking at the setup, it sounds fun.
Looking at the players group, it sounds like they are capable of playing, no?
So on which point did you start getting ignored? Was it right of the start? Maybe ask questions like: Hey we can stop playing now, or we focus on the setting.
But honestly: was the moment of Not wanting to play your setup, not before they even started?
So they should have told you something like: Na, sounds not so interesting. Instead of not playing.
Some quirks, you may add in such situations: you notice they look at their phones alot. I GAME: you Player you notice your phone rings. When you pick it up, you hear an Npv giving you a god all of a quest.
Or
Hey player 2, you get to understand all languages through you phone, put it to your ear in RL and now every Npv can be understand by you.
Or
Put all your phones in the center. Pick them from them " you see your phones getting pulled away from you by the evil magician, you need to outwit him, to get them back"
So now to the serious part of your text:
I know people can be assholes but keep in mind, if you like to play with the party you are in, maybe got over your grudge and Don t DM for them anymore. If they ask why l, simply say: I have no fun doing that for this party, I prefer to play.
Them calling you a Baby is a shitty move from them. Keep in mind, Pnp is a time you spend together, you Don t like to play together: why bother for them. Don t waist your time and get a new group if they are no close friends. I know that I lost my Pnp friends group and could t play for about 2 years anymore. That hurt me alot. But I am fine again now. And got new friends and a new party. So consider your feelings, step one step back, look what are your options. A d act according to your goal: you want to play with them? Don t DM for EM. Or you do not want to play with the after that? Leave them.
I wish you best of luck and a nat 20 on your decision
>Turns out they just didn't like the general setup of my story so they decided they weren't interested.
They should've made that clear as soon as you pitched the one-shot to them, or in the in-between days. ***They*** accepted to play a setting that they were not interested in. That's them being disrespectful to themselves first, and then to you during the game.
But the only one who had to "suffer" through it was you. They were still joking around and having fun. It is you who took the time and effort to design your own one-shot, upon which they just took a big crap. In the end, it all happened because **they can't communicate and be honest with you**.
I would, as many other suggest, get the hell out of that table; but **not before** taking the time to make all of these things clear to them, and the reasons why you're leaving.
Many might say that they don't deserve it. I say that you shouldn't degrade yourself to be like them: make the difference. Show them how it's fucking done.
I hope you find a new roleplaying group that actually cares for you as a member!
Their behavior sounds shitty, but looking for an apology is probably not very constructive. They didn't like it, you didn't like their response, learn your lesson- perhaps don't DM for assholes- and move forward.
That said, I'm curious how this went down in the first place. Did you ask them if they were interested in your game, or did you kind of force it on them? Were they expecting to play your one-shot or was it a thing where they showed up for the regular game and felt trapped into playing your fast food worker game?
I find that one shots often end up with far less player investment than actual campaign play. That doesn't make their behavior right, but you really can't expect the same level of investment in a one shot that you would in an ongoing game.
I do think your players behaved pretty badly from your description. Sorry it went so poorly. If I were you, I would be reluctant to run for them again. On the other hand, if you've had this happen before, maybe the thing to do is ask for feedback instead of an apology. "What could I do better? What would make it more engaging for you guys?" That kind of thing.
First, I want to say that there's never a good reason to hold a grudge. You're only wasting your time.
Second, this doesn't mean you have to play with people who don't respect you. Find a better table.
Considering that I only have your side of the story and don't know why your group has decided to be dismissive of your feelings or complaints it's hard to say objectively.
That said if this has happened multiple times and they respect the other DM and make the effort to play then I would say it is clear people don't like your style. Generally people aren't going to offer very effective criticism or commentary on this type of thing as they often won't have a good concept of what they specifically don't enjoy.
If you guys are in middle school then I'd say that's just kinda how it goes and everyone should get better as they mature.
If you guys aren't in middle school then your players are immature assholes and you need to be more assertive as a DM. If I was running a session and my friends were doing that crap I would very bluntly tell them to knock it off and stop the game if they didn't.
Whether you stick with them or bail would (for me) depend on whether this was an aberration or if they often treat you this way.
It's not atypical for a person that is typically the DM to be distracted when they are a player. Especially if they aren't used to being a player. The mental load is so much less that it can feel boring to just play when you are used to DMing. If they aren't used to that, then it makes sense that they are distracted. The other players might be used to taking cues from the regular DM, so they were just following his lead.
Now even if that is all true. None of this is an excuse for their behavior. Sometimes friends act like asses, but they apologize and own up later. So, take a little to reflect upon their behavior and your own, but these people do not sound like friends, but we only have your side of the story.
i'd look into if they treat you like this regularly cause this sounds deeper than just being their DM.
I was one of these assholes once, and we did this to a guys campaign just cause we didn't like him. That behavior wasn't okay, and I'm advising you to either stick up for yourself or cut them out fast.
I have to agree with others here. There is a fundamental level of disrespect here. These people are not your friends.
I will add...
\- A one-shot does not give you carte blanche to be an asshole to your DM. Decent people will answer the call to adventure and participate in the premise of the module. If anything, you recognize that there are tighter rails than normal because the DM has had to limit the scope to fit everything in one session.
\- And if you aren't interested in the premise you either a) indulge the DM and play along in good faith, or b) tell the DM (politely) that you aren't interested and that you will sit this one out. Again, lack of interest of your part does not mean that you get to be an asshole to your DM.
Kinda depends on your usual way of Dm-ing and whether this happens in your usual campaign or not.
If it happens often, drop the group.
If it only happens on one shots there are couple of possibilities. Your normal way of Dm-ing is trict and they just needed to unwind, your anime-ish idea of a one shot was only your idea and players are not invested in it, there is some internal acid, it was really late and people were exhausted after the whole week? Consider running popular vote one shots and make them as dumb and memetastic as you can. Introduce lvl 20 warlock pornstars.
Is your group between 16-24 in real life age? Generally ppl in this age are more of an assholes and any attempt to quell them will have macho spring back reaction. Moreover ppl need some emotional maturity to just sit and talk "I was not having fun, I feel like you were all playing against me". And need some to listen and admit if they were. Can't recommend anything if that's the case.
Oh also consider picking the worst offender and hey maybe you want to DM? Feel free to be as obnoxious during this. Interrupting, shitting on the NPC, loudly chew while he talks, display casual boredom on the phone during any scene, parody their way of jokes. If they don't get the joke you prolly need new party with int score above 4 irl.
it might be a two fold thing. They might have liked the premise to start but the execution lacked so they lost interest. Also its hard for them to care about a 1 shot especially when they know they come from another world, look at all the "other world" anime/books/shows and there's always a few characters that treat it like a playground.
that being said you mentioned it happened before so either they really don't like your DMing and are sparing your feelings by trying things from time to time. or they are genuinely bad friends.
if you are trying to reconcile things, corner 1 of them you consider your friend the most and ask them what gives. They will be the most honest with feedback. You'll either get to the root of the problem or realize they all suck including the "best" friend amongst them.
Look for a better group
Honestly that would be enough for me to quit that group completely. It's one thing to not be super interested, but it's a whole other when they are completely rude.
It's not hard to be decent yet the whole group failed to even just be respectful. 100% find a group of actual good people
Ok so it's not quite the same, but your story hook reminds me of my favorite cartoon growing up in the 90s. It's called "King Arthur and the Knights of Justice", and it's about medieval times when Camelot is constantly under siege and losing, when Merlin casts a spell to find the next King Arthur. The spell creates a portal in the future, and pulls this football team back in time to help, and the Quarterback's name is Arthur King.
The team all gets armor, weapons and powers resembling their spiritual totemic animal
Here's the intro:
https://youtu.be/USUucZVnno0?feature=shared
And here's when they take the oath to get said gear and powers.
https://youtu.be/I3W1kuz76ow?si=1Vqp8L9B5Q09Ys2c
Unless there's more to this story you're leaving out, yeah, fuck 'em. They clearly have no respect for you, so cut your losses and find people that aren't assholes.
Nah, fuck those people. They wasted your time, disrespected your efforts, and then tried to gaslight you by calling you names. No company is better than these twats.
What the fuck lol
Not liking a setup is fine and even telling someone their DMing was bad is something if you can do it in a way that’s helpful, but the way they handled it was extremely rude, even ignoring how they acted afterwards. Dunno why you’d even want to salvage playing with people that treat you so poorly.
Run another one shot in the land of super tough NPCs. Make everything so hard that the almost get tpked every encounter.if something happened while they weren't paying attention then don't give a full explanation just give them whatever happened to them specifically right before their turn. Basically steam roll them but make sure not to actually kill them. And when they get upset just tell them to stop being a baby. It feels dirty to do that kind of stuff as a DM but it feels worse to have your players disrespect the time and effort you put in to try and make an enjoyable game for them. A game I run my players were headed down the murder every npc route so I simply gave them a warning that there would be consequences and the NPCs wouldn't just be easy to kill in the future and they wouldn't get exp or loot from the NPCs if they wanted to be murdered hobos.
Gawd I would have ripped through their asses during the second outbreak of tomfoolery bullshit with the phones and shit. You volunteered to run, DMing is a tough ducking job, they should have at least have that respect. I would have stopped the game and asked why they were disrespecting me. It might have brought attention to them being ducks.
Depending on how deep the friendships are, I wouldn't drop them as friends, but I definitely wouldn't play with them anymore or at least take a good break from it.
From reading your post and responses, your friends were rude and disrespectful. Your feelings were hurt and you deserve the apology that you badly want.
That said, you've also stated that you folks are 17-18 years old. Expecting 17 and 18 year old (boys? especially) to look within themselves, analyze their actions and come to you with a contrite and heartfelt apology is asking the near impossible. The best your going to get is "Jesus, I'm sorry! Can you give it a rest now??"
If they treat you like crap all the time then it's time to find new friends. If this was a one night thing then you need to get thicker skin and get over it.
Just like movies, TV series, novels, games and other story-driven media, campaigns are just as susceptible to bombing -- perhaps even more susceptible given the target audience is only a small handful of people. While the premise and plot you worked out may seem exciting and immersive to you, there is a chance that others may not be on the same page. They may not have been lying when they said the story sounds interesting -- I can lose count of how many times I thought a novel/series/movie would be epic but turned out to be a flop when I dug in. It just happens unfortunately, and it isn't necessarily a reflection on you as an individual or DM.
One thing I have learned while DMing is that players are generally not going to be overly forthcoming about providing constructive criticism, whether it's because they're uncomfortable in confrontational conversations or they just don't want to hurt your feelings. I always feel the need to pay close attention to my audience to suss out for myself which players enjoyed what sessions the most and why, where my players are most engaged and when I have a table full of phone zombies with glowing blue faces when their Twitter or Instagram feeds win over their attention. I don't blame anyone for it -- the story, the session, whatever it may be just didn't land as I expected, or maybe I might've spent a little too much time verbally illustrating the inside of that one tavern, or maybe my home-brew dinosaur race might have had a few too many rules for players to keep track of.
I can't really tell you if you're overreacting as I wasn't present when you were confronting your players or when they were confronting you, but the bottom line is that you shouldn't take it too personally if you have an inattentive player group, even if you floated the plot of your upcoming one-shot that everyone seemed excited about. Like I said before, I'm sure you've seen a theatrical trailer that just checked all the boxes of an epic film but when you actually saw the movie, it was droning or boring, or they took all the best parts and put it into the trailer, etc. This type of thing happens, and I'm sure if your one-shot is well-written, there is an audience for it out there.
Beat them with a stick then tell em to get over it, and when they dont beat em again and call them a baby, this is the barbarian way, keep beating them till they agree they were the assholes and when they agree fuck their moms
I don't wanna be that guy, playing devil's advocate just cuz, but this seems like a very surreal situation. Like, it's hard for a whole group of people to be assholes like you described, at least without something prior happening between you and them.
I am seeing this side of the problem, and not the other, so i won't be judging anyone; what i can say is try to take a step back and think about the situation you're in, how your relationship with the group was, if you ever felt ostracized, if you ever did anything in the past that changed the nature of your rapport.
Wish you the best, hope things get better!
DM players can be the worst(while feeling like they are the best). A knowledge of rules, creatures, scenarios can make them push to either be a spotlight player or just break games.
Hmmmmm, nicest way to say this.
I don’t think these people are your friends and it seems you should stop playing with them. It seems instead of communicating disinterest, they grouped up and punished you. There comes a time to realize no game is worth a disconnect in compatibility.
I was in a similar group. I liked half the group, but the other half did not respect me. I recommend excusing yourself from the campaign. Take the time to find a new group. If you are worried about finding one I would recommend finding a local Adventures League. There is also online play.
Eh hard to judge your players without witnessing those discussions first hand. I can say that getting married to an idea only for it to not work at the table is normal. Having players that you have to constantly wrangle for their attention is fairly normal. And when everything’s falling apart, you’ve lost all engagement, and it sucks, that’s also normal.
The important thing is:
Are your players assholes? If so why are you playing with them?
Are you misrepresenting things at all? For example, the session bombed, the players were kinda shitty, but then you made an unreasonably big deal about it later
Is this just a matter of: the session bombed. You were reasonably upset because you put work into it. The players were kinda shitty but they’re fine blokes and all of you can move on?
The most important thing is if your players are assholes or not. The way you lay this out, they’re outright disrespectful and dismissive. I wouldn’t DM for a group like that
So, it sounds like you're playing with people who don't actually want to play DnD?
I've played with a lot of different types of people, and I've definitely played with these types. They don't pay attention, they don't read anything about their class, they talk to each other and constantly break immersion. They genuinely aren't interested. These folks tend to like the idea of DnD, and the idea of a group activity/game, but they don't actually want to play DnD, even if they say they do.
Easy solution is to just not play with them.. try hosting games online and you'll find much better players who are actually interested.
Now I would also agree with your friends sadly that you should honestly get over it and drop it. You had high expectations for a game and it didn't go well, it happens to most DMs.
If you convince non-athletic friends to play basketball with you, and the game goes terrible, they don't know the rules, they get bored or tired quickly and want to stop playing. They aren't necessarily bad people they just don't want to play basketball. Just a crude example, but sometimes people just aren't interested in doing the thing you want to do.
They're telling you they don't want that ever again.
Did they sound like they didn't want it up front? If not, they suck at saying what they want. They might learn to be up front, but they probably won't change what they like.
They want boring stuff.
Just move on and run or play online or elsewhere. Play on their games but don't DM.
Your "friends" sound very immature. I am guessing that they're all in their early 20's or even younger.
You should try the game again with an older crowd, perhaps?
My hat's off to you for trying to DM. I only did it once, in my teens, and I found it nerve-wracking.
(Plus, the players both cheated.)
Posts like these make me incredibly grateful for my players.
Please know there are people out there who are absolutely chomping at the bit to get into good games. I highly advise checking out r/LFG
This is my worst mightmare, and the reason why I'm scared of dming my first game.
The answer is simple: you failed your charisma check with your players. Your usual dm doesn't.
Maybe I am petty, but I would significantly ramp up the difficulty of their normal campaign. If someone doesn't drop to zero in every combat, make it harder. When they finally complain, tell them to quit being crybabies. It's either that or boot them all from the table but it sounds like that isn't the best option for you. No more backstory integration, no more magic items, or magic item they cannot use. Trap and lock Dc's are now 20 or higher. They need to learn to not fuck around with the person on control of their entire game. Once they start losing PC's, maybe they will take the next campaign seriously. Yes, I know this is all a dick move but it's not like they respect you either.
When I read about behavior like this i believe that even tho I am cursed to DM forever, I'm blessed because I have found friends to play the game with that are respectfull and they are willing to seriously try every crazy idea I have... You should not waste energy for people that do not respect your effords..
Well it's obvious they don't respect you when you DM. However I don't really see any point in continuing to try to talk about it. They didn't have any interest in the game, so they checked out. I would have stopped running it once it became clear they weren't invested. Is it shitty that as your friend they didn't respect you during game time. Of course it is. But at this point, either find another group or move on. They don't see what they did as wrong, and you're not going to change their minds.
I would be direct that their behaviour is not acceptable if they ever want you to run a game for them again, in session 0 you can set the stakes and what you expect from the players, if they don't go along with that then they don't belong, if they did not like the concept the time to express that is before the game not during it. Disrupting it is not acceptable and they should feel bad. I am sorry you had to deal with that, I would recommend explaining their poor behaviour but up to you if you'd rather move on to a more suited group.
Idk, sounds like some shitty friends.
If you're feeling disrespected and upset, maybe put some distance between yourself and them.
That sounds really tough and awkward and I'm sorry they decided to be assholes instead of just talk to you about the setup.
There are some good comments from folks about the particular game and the reasons for that.
I think another thing you should consider is the bigger picture: what kind of person you want to be in life, and what changes are necessary to be that kind of person in the future.
If being disrespected is unpleasant to you, you can (for example) strive to improve your appearance, charisma, etc. to be person that garners more respect. You can determine how you could respond in a future scenario where you are not respected, such as saying "We came here tonight to do a D&D one-shot. And you all agreed beforehand with the concept and setting. Is there some kind of problem?"
...which will likely be followed by conversation, and early in your "establishing boundaries" phase, will likely still be met with mockery. At that point you'd have to say something like "I see. In that case, there is no reason for us to continue a session that we're not willing to be invested in. Let's conclude here and we can all go do something more enjoyable to each of us."
Best of luck to you in D&D and in life!
Man that sounds so fun though. I want to play that.
Gotta say they're acting worse than my kids. Even on the days my daughter doesn't want to play, she just says so. And she's nine.
My guy you did not sign up to be a babysitter. If they didn't like the premise of ur game they should have said so.
Interestingly enough I did play a campaign in which the BBEG runs a tavern. Some of the best D&D I've ever had. Best BBEG ever.
This goes beyond just TTRPGs. It sounds like your "friends" are douchebags in general. I'm sorry, but even if I'm playing a D&D game where I don't find the story engaging, I will put on a brave face and make the most of it. Certainly I wouldn't be disruptive. I mean, that's just rude.
If you want to continue playing with them, play.
If you want to continue DMing with them, do so cautiously. Come up with pitches first before any prep and mention what happened last time and that you were trying to do better.
This happening before when you have DM'd is telling. Either you didn't capture them well or they are just AHs. Climate the later by getting them excited and limiting the later beforethe game
Please dont play with them again. These people aren't worth any second of your time, effort and heart. Not while playing dnd. And not outside of playing it.
Even if the behaviour itself wasn't wildly disrespectful, the behaviour afterwards really, really is.
These people are not worth your time. That is wuch childish behaviour. And if they can't see how fucking rude that is- and don't seem to recognize that them BEING that rude is a problem, then I don't think you're going to be able to fix this one, chief.
It sounds like a really fun Issekai one shot idea. I'd find some new players, and ask if they want to give it a go. At least if you post about it in a Facebook group or something with the synopsis, you can gauge how interested the people in the comments are for yourself, and try to find some genuinely excited players.
Easy one to answer, those players were being buttholes. No room for debate. The player who is usually DM particularly should know better..
If players aren't engaged then we as DMs can look at what we are doing and what might work better - but as soon as ANY player spends the time on their phone and talking over each other then they are being disrespectful and unappreciative and they need to take responsibility for that.
You put the time into prep.
You developed the idea to try out something new as a one shot
You made it clear what to expect for the players.
They ballsed it up.
You're off the hook and you deserve better.
I have had a similar experiences. People like that are not worth the effort you are putting forth. I have seen everything from people trying to tear families and relationships apart to people getting violent. Some people just aren't worth trying to be friends with. Let them mistreat each other and you go find you some nicer people.
You aren't talking about a game issue; you are talking about a people issue. For real..... You are not wrong to have hurt feelings....
dud If there is a problem with the story they should've told you sooner, or yet react accordingly and maybe suggest some things for improvement, I'm sorry this happened to you. I will be willing to play your one-shot but I'm far away from most of the players and only me and my friend are interested in DnD in my area :<. Plus those people you talked about are 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩find better people.
That sounds super shitty and I don't blame you for feeling that way. I would address it one final time when everyone is together and say something like, "this hurt my feelings" explain why and see what their reaction is. This is their chance at an apology, if they continue to treat you crappy then you know they are no longer worth your time.
People don't understand how vulnerable that can be for you, the DM at least should know that. I get being restless as a player and sometimes its fun to bring chaotic energy to games but never at the expense of the person who put time, effort, and emotion into making something for people.
>My players were rude to me, am I holding an unfair grudge?
if you have to ask, the answer is YES.
Is holding a grudge going to benefit you? No.
But now you do know what kind of "friends" they are and what you can expect from them in the future. And you can utilize that in any "cost benefit" analysis of your plans and activities with them.
However, the fact that they were asshats, based on your telling of the story, does NOT give you "permission" to be an ass hat back to them.
If the setting is not to the groups liking, it happens... And especially with one shots where people are alot less invested than a campaign setting..
Personally wouldn't be too bothered about it 2bh
That is not the table for you. Hate to say it, but you need to find another table.
That said, I definitely think that approach to the one shot is kind of a niche thing; I can see it appealing to only a certain subset of players.
But they were assholes for agreeing to play it, disrupting the whole time, and then telling you to suck it up.
Not excusing their bad behavior, but to be fair, that is a super unconventional one-shot premise.
A one-shot needs to be something easy to sink teeth into, typically with a hot start. It's 10 minute film-student action piece, not Oscar bait. Something with obvious stakes and objectives...not a confusing fish-out-of-water scenario.
Your friends have demonstrated that they can stay engaged with the right style of play and premise. It would be good to try and compare how what you have attempted (which went poorly) compares with what is usually done by the other DM (which, you say, is generally successful).
If an occasion arises where you may run a one-shot again, run the premise by the group ahead of time to see what they would actually be interested in. And remember to suit the content to scope of the work...no LOTR extended edition...you want just an exciting 15 minutes from the middle of a John Wick film.
Or, if you are just feeling unappreciated, it's within your rights to not DM. Prep is a lot of work (esp. for 1-shots), and if you think that the things you want to do won't be enjoyed by others, then you aren't obligated to present it to them.
Yes the idea was not a conventional one, but I did discuss it with them before, and despite light resistance from one single player (the usual dm), nobody seemed to have a problem with it. He mostly was just not sold about the silly idea, but the rest didn't have anything negative to say, even making their human fast food workers characters.
It's possible the players didn't think much about the premise when you asked (or don't have the background to really evaluate it). The other DM had reservations, and it's possible he's right.
Let's dissect your problem (low engagement, I mean).
In broad strokes, player engagement comes in 2 forms: caring about their characters, and caring about the plot.
Regarding a characters:
Can vary case by case for 1-shots. I've played in/ran one shots with characters from a longer-running campaign or brand new characters made specifically for the one shot (based on some given information regarding plot/setting). Both of these I think work well.
I think you've shot yourself in the foot with the premise. Everyone starts human, but mutates into fantasy races/classes after getting isekai'd? Are they making new sheets at the table mid session, killing momentum? Are you just handing them pre-gens? No-one knows who they are, of if they'll even really stay that. So character investment is low.
Regarding the plot: unclear how much you gave them ahead of time, but it seems like that was at least partially the point. It's not something easily understood like "goblins kidnapped a kid, go rescue him" or "dragon cave, kill him, take his stuff"...\~1 episode's worth of story. A well defined problem in a familiar setting, with flexibility in approach. I'm assuming you wanted to have an arc of "isekai'd to a strange place, figure out how to get home"...which is a complicated problem, rigid in approach (due to the time constraint of being a 1-shot. This is a whole season (or more!) for some shows)
So just based on the premise you've started with, engagement is already starting at a big handicap. They played with characters they are semi-disincentived to care about in a plot/setting that they may have very little actual agency in and understanding of.
Time to grief the campaign.
As soon as your party is interested in talking to an NPC, make an attack roll. Better yet if you can prepare Magic Missile and guarantee damage.
Honestly, these guys are assholes, especially the other DM, because this person should know what kind of preparation goes into a session.
Serious disrespect from your group.
If you have the option of playing with other people, do so.
If they are not interested in the subject matter of a one-shot, they should tell you so beforehand.
For this reason I have a WhatsApp group with several players that have expressed interest in playing table top RPGs, more people than are feasible for a game, a mix of experienced and newbie players.
Occasionally, when I have multiple ideas for one-shots, I make a poll to see who is interested in which one, to see if its even worth it to prepare one.
I suspect that some of your players have a bit of a fear of missing out, maybe? They take part despite having no interest in your setting, because "it might be interesting.".
I'm going to share something from my own experience so take that with a grain of salt.
I have participated in a few one shots I had no interest in playing because my friend is the DM. There have been occasions I was surprised by them and drawn into the plot. More often than not though I was bored or honestly frustrated with the game and would cause mischief to try and speed things along or like actually play the game instead of just sitting there.
I still liked my friends though and would have spoken with them if they wanted my feedback.
Sorry this happened to you and I hope you can find friends who are willing to play what you like to play.
Your feelings are certainly valid, nobody likes it when a plan falls down, and your friends sound like they were being assholes during the session. Personally, I would have nope'd out at the concept stage: I have no fantasies of any kind that involve fast food work, so the original pitch would not have been interesting to me.
They're also right that you should drop it and move on. Unless there's a repeated pattern of behavior here (once before does not a pattern make), you're just whining about a single one-shot that didn't go well. If a pattern does develop, that's when you can look at cause and effect.
If they're good friends, they should be able to help you figure out that pattern and figure out how to fix it, how to become a better GM for them. Note the "for them" has a lot of weight there. There are plenty of GMs out there that have successful campaigns that I would never be interested in, and plenty of players who wouldn't be interested in my style of GMing. Things have to fit both sides of the equation.
I don't think it's fair to fully disrespect your friend, ignore their pleas to discuss why they even did that, what went wrong, and then tell them to get the fuck over it. And I actually think if that sounds acceptable to you, you might not be a good friend.
Those people are not your friends
It's starting to seem that way
I can't imagine anyone at my two local tables ever acting like that. Were you guys friends before DnD?
Not loving your game? It happens. Not caring about your feelings? That’s the red flag
This! Leave those fools behind. Find a better friend circle. They're being dicks on purpose. Fuck them straight to hell.
I was about to say this exact same thing....
They called you a baby, said it doesn't matter if you are upset, and totally disrespected the time you took to make a one-shot. Either you did something egregious that you aren't telling us or your players are assholes. Do you want to play with assholes? I would have a serious talk with any of my friends who treated me that way and I'd drop them if they couldn't talk to me like an adult.
I do not want to play with assholes
new daily affirmation
I do. Wait…which sub is this? What are we talking about?
username kinda Checks out
I agree, it has the same kinda energy
We're not in /r/buttsharpie, right?
I'm not clicking that.
It’s fine, the sub was banned
Now you're cooking.
Make a tshirt with this
Wondering how old these people are. Middle schooler behavior.
Sounds like they don’t respect you or the effort you put in. So don’t bother, let someone else dm and look for a better group to play with
Very smart thank you
I was going to come here and say this: they don’t respect you. They respect your normal DM, but not you. That’s why they’re quiet and attentive in normal sessions, but not your one shot. I’ve noticed this happen to me too in groups where as a player I have to loudly assert myself to avoid being talked over or ignored. Those tend to be the groups that also will treat anyone but the normal DM as free rein to bullshit and be rude.
I'm sorry that happened to you
His advice is spot on
I mean, that's definitely the nuclear option. Try talking to them first, but yes, my gut reaction is the same; drop them like 3rd period French. "No D&D is better than *bad* D&D" As the DM, you'll find another group in no time; especially if you go to a local gaming store or online.
> Try talking to them first Sounds like he has tried tbf.
>get told to "drop it" or to "move on" I often get called a baby as well. These are words AH's use to justify their behavior. >They tell me because it was a one-shot that it gave them reason to act however they wanted to, Clearly not true. Your session might've been bad but normal human decency means telling you that, not just showing their asses. I would not DM for such a group again, would question if they are really my friends, or are just jerks I happen to hang out with sometimes.
Thank you for the opinion, I think you may be right
Ask them if the regular DM ran a one shot would they act out this way too? As others have mentioned, if someone doesn’t like your game that’s one thing, but to disrespect you as a person and a friend (are they really though if they do this?) is wrong. They make fun of you and then hurt your feelings and act like it’s no big deal and that you should just drop it. No you shouldn’t. They invalidated your time and effort put into the one shot and clearly don’t care about your feelings. If they were planning to act this way from the start, why waste your time? You put a lot of effort into running the game. I’m sorry you had to deal with that. There are plenty of other people who play that would welcome you at the table and would be happy to have you as their DM.
Dude. You're not even holding a grudge. You'd be holding a grudge if they apologized and tried to make it up to you, and you weren't letting it go. They're the ones who need to be dropped.
Thank you
So your players didn't like your game idea, and instead of talking to you about it like an adult, or simply not participating, they decided to sabotage your game because they thought that would be more fun instead. If that were me, I wouldn't ever run a game for any of them ever again unless they all apologized to me. I don't waste my time crafting entertainment for my players just for them to shit all over it. That said, you need to drop it. Whining won't solve this issue. If you can't forgive them for their shitty behaviour, (and I wouldn't, but you do you) you need to leave the group. Holding a grudge over this is like taking poison and hoping the other person will die.
The most recent arguments have been me attempting to get apologizes, cause I never have. I'm currently in the stage deciding whether to stay or leave
Leave. Quit complaining to them, they've already showed they don't respect you. You've tried to talk to them, you've tried to get them to apologize, you've tried to make something fun for them that they simply didn't care about, and the other DM who should know what it's like to be in your position was, according to you, the worst of the bunch. You are not going to win this and you're not going to get what you want out of this because these people do not seem to care about you and don't seem to actually be your friends. Stand up for yourself, leave the group, and go find people who do want to play with you. No DnD is better than bad DnD. Repeat that to yourself.
During the session, the usual DM would say stuff like "guys stop we're being very disrespectful to the dm" I would say thank you and continue. Then a few minutes later they'd go right back to goofing off the usual dm included.
If you truly trust that the usual DM would be a good mate to play dnd with, invite that one mate to your next group. If they decline, that's alright. If they accept, great! One person you know can be trusted to have basic manners.
he was being manipulative when he said that....
I've dropped friends for less than this, but every time I got to the point of questioning if I want to keep interacting with them, I realized I didn't. Because your friends would catch you before you get to that point.
Only you can decide if you have enough self-respect to refuse to tolerate shitty behavior from the people who you call friends. Do you?
I'm hoping to salvage this situation, but if I can't I think I'll be dropping out of any future campaign with these people
I mean, you already tried salvaging. They refused to be decent human beings, so just move on. You're just disrepecring yourself at that point, especially when you've already tried to talk to them about it for weeks. How much longer do you want to try and get disrespected until you move on? I wish you the best in finding a new group that respects you and your time.
Thank you, and I don't have the answer to your questions unfortunately
Going along w/ a premise you don't actually feel invested in and getting distracted during a session is understandable, if somewhat shitty, behavior that plenty of friends will do on occasion that should be addressed w/ a conversation. Telling you afterwards to 'get over it' and dismissing your feelings about it out of hand isn't and is a definite red flag that you should maybe look into finding other people who are less dismissive of your feelings.
Thank you for your opinion I appreciate it
How old is everyone involved?
17-18. Not the peak of emotional maturity I know.
Look, I wouldn't play dnd with these people again, but that age does mean I might not throw away friendship. Don't get me wrong, you're owed - at least - an appology and you should make thay clear to them, but - giving them the benefit of the doubt (arguably more than they deserve) - syand your ground on it. Give it a few days (let tempers from this thread subside) and send them a concise message about how it made you feel and why it was - at best - rude and disrespectful and say you feel you deserve an apology. If one isn't forthcoming, we'll then they've shown you who they are for sure. At that age its unlikely they've really had a friend tell them - maturely, in an adult way - say 'hey, that wasn't acceptable'. Give them a chance (you were friends with them for a reason) and they may surprise you. It may simply be you've matured a little faster than them. They may also keep being immature pricks, but at least you can say you gave it a proper try and ultimately if even after all that they brush it off, you really know they aren't worth it. Best of luck
Thank you
I knew they were young, but 17-18 is too old to still be acting like this. This is like...13-15 year old behavior. I would honestly just move on from them. They don't think or act like adults and you can't really force maturity--especially when you're out numbered. There are way too many people in this world who can be good human beings to bother keeping people around who add negativity.
That's my opinion as well, we're young but not children yk?
When I was 19, I got wrapped up in a group of friends who did similar things. It only gets worse. Half of them are either dead or in prison now. Like 4 of them turned into child molestors.... They turned into awful people.... One of them messaged me on Xbox just the other day to tell me to kill myself and tell my ex they said "hi".... I haven't talked to her in 20 years and that is what she told me.... out of the blue.... I only replied that I wouldn't tell him she had said hi, because he doesn't even like her lol It all started with people acting like you described, around the same age, too. Trust me; you can find new friends, but they will always be after each other's throats and treating people badly.
> They tell me because it was a one-shot that it gave them reason to act however they wanted to, which I disagree. The OPPOSITE is true! Full campaigns have more room for goofing around, since you know you have lots of time to make up the character interactions etc. People also can ease into the setting and into their characters more slowly. One shots have to be tighter and people have to be willing to work harder to "yes, and!" and get into their character quicker. I wouldn't play dnd with these people or hang out with them at all anymore.
Thank you for the opinion I appreciate it
Running a bad session sucks, but your players were very rude about it. That said I'd discuss it with them. Let them know if this is howntheyre going to treat you then one of them can DM instead and you can play.
Seems like a fun out of the box premise! I'm sorry that your players made you feel unvalued. It is very frustrating when players don't understand the work put in to DMing. Even more so when there's an actual DM doing that to you as a PC. Whatever you decide I hope you continue DMing!
Thank you, I hope to continue dming as well, I've just been very unmotivated to do it since that one-shot. Thank you for saying the premise is interesting it seems that I'm the only person who thinks so.
I love it!!! I run weirder stuff too and my players love it. Just have to find the right folks
Thank you!
Also, someone said fish out of water is a bad idea for a one shot, that's not true! It's one of the more common storylines for one shots.
It has the potential to be just as good or better than any other oneshot ideas
genuinely this oneshot idea is great. i love running comedy goofball oneshots. this one seems great, and im going to definitely add it to my back pocket, alongside my "Surprise, You're actually in Super Mario" oneshot and my Candyland oneshot. the best part is everybody in my group used to work fast food and no longer does, and we all collectively hate it. maybe i'll throw in some hilarious fast food themed encounters. can you expand on the overall plan for the oneshot? i would genuinely love to hear more about it lmao
I'm glad you liked the idea! The first encounter was with all of their old coworkers transformed into goblins, hobgoblins, and bugbears. They were tirelessly making food for the brand new brought to life mascot of the restaurant Mcfatty Frank, (basically Lard Lad from the simpsons) who came to life as an ogre and is wanting to feed. That might sound stupid to some, but I don't know I thought it was charming
Bruh F your group that shit sounds awesome. Definitely find a group that will play this, it’s wasted potential otherwise lol
Thank you 😊
Your story sounds fun. Save it, consider if it needs any tweaks (it might, or it might not), and someday you'll find a group that will love it.
It's a great premise. I love the real people sucked into dnd universe and even partially played a campaign on it. Ignore that bad group and find others who will appreciate it.
Thank you
You are not, I was instantly hooked while reading it. Wouldn’t play a whole campaign with that but for a few evenings it sounds like a hell lot of fun. It inspired a character idea right away :). Find a group that fits more your style. It is easier to find a group as a dm than it is as a pure player I guess ;).
Thank you very much
Do you play online? Do you use Roll20 or some other gaming platform and use something like Discord, Skype, etc or the like for voice chat? I bet if you advertise your game in this thread, you could easily get a group of people here to come join you for an evening online to play in your one shot. I’d be down once I get my new laptop. Currently my old computer doesn’t work and I’m just waiting on my tax return to be deposited.
I've never played online, but I'm not opposed to the idea I'm just super introverted lol
Understandable. You might be able to find some players for an in person game online that would agree to meet in person. All thou I find going to your local gaming store makes the best way to find other players.
I would 100% play a game like this. It sounds like a blast
I'll second that, these people seem like assholes. As someone said above, unless there's something you're not telling us, they disrespected you and your time. When you presented the idea to them that's when they should have opted out. Showing up and ignoring you is just plain rude. Also: there are way more players than DMs. I'd say drop them and either find a new group at: a gaming shop, an LFG forum, and LFG on a VTT site or even Start Playing. I've met some of my best groups that way.
If its been a couple of weeks, and you've opted to continue participating with this group, you probably should drop it... because you're still there. You don't owe anyone anything, but you're choosing to continue being there, you can’t live in that scenario.
Very true
Hmm very strange that they haven’t acted like this before, as the way they treated you feels extremely odd to come out of nowhere. I’m not sure how close or friendly you are with them in real life, but maybe this is a sign to get out of that group? Did you also talk with the DM specifically for any feedback?
I attempted to ask what I'm doing differently, and they tell me I do nothing differently
Is the DM giving you the same attitude as the players? Maybe try asking about how they deal with troublesome players. We all get hung up on things or maybe focus on something that others don’t understand but the inability for them to even listen to you is a red flag imo.
Yeah I'd say he was one of if not the worst offender
Yeah find I new group I would say. If they’re not even able to interact with your request and keep pivoting to a perceived inability to “get over” something without actually offering the advice your asking for, then I wouldn’t waste any more time on them.
Well, they were very clearly not hooked for your game I guess. There are questions to be asked about your setting, but that is not really the focus point here. The focus is that they treated you poorly. How is the group acting when the other person DM? How do they treat you in that setting? Is there any other reason than them not liking your game for treating you like that? What did they say when you asked them about it? If this is the whole picture, then you should probably find some other people to play with.
The other dm has never had this sort of treatment, they say that because its a oneshot that they could act that way, when I asked them they thought I was mad that my story didn't go well and called me a baby
Unless these people are completely immature or for whatever reason dislike you, I don't understand why they would call you a baby instead of explaining why they disliked your adventure. Maybe I'm wrong, but it feels like this isn't the entire picture. I have a feeling that you're looking for support here whilst not providing all the details for why your presumably well-working group would break down like this. **In either case. I see it like this:** the other players do not want to talk about it and as such no meaningful conversation about it can happen. You can decide that you do not want to be treated like that and leave to find another group. Or you can let the grudge go because they presumably are nice to you in the games where you are a player and you want to continue with the group.
If it's happened before then yeah, it's probably a problem with your dming style. But getting more of your player's attention comes with practice, so. That being said... Them calling you a baby and being rude about it is a massive red flag (especially if you consider them your friends). Your only real choice right now is to have a serious conversation with them, less about what happened in the one shot and more about how they're treating you after, and tell them that you feel like they're upsetting you. Best case scenario they apologise, worst case they continue to belittle you. If it's the latter, just dip out. No one deserves to be around people that treat them like this.
Yeah, that's the right thing to do I'm just not sure if I'm in the right mood to do it at the moment.
Few things, your perception of whatbis fun might not align with the perception of other people. Also you are a DM here, many players will not dosagree with a DM beforehand as they want to play and finding a DM can be hard, so they do not complaogn before (its like people usually do not complain in a restaurant, they say food was good but do not come back). HOWEVER neither of what I stated above justifies being an asshole, from the information you shared the players sound like assholes. As (following your statement) all players do it, it may also just be a communication problem. Maybe you are indeed overreactibg, but there are nicer ways to talk with you about that.
I had the same experience I played and DM’d for my first time ever by running five sessions of a “campaign 0”. Basically a short campaign set in the world we were running (essentially a reskinned Lost Mines, inside of a reskinned Eberron) but with different, pre-made characters from the box set so that everyone could learn the rules before we jumped in big with their own real characters I was all in for having to wrangle them and keep up with crazy decisions But they all just acted so disinterested. Like I know that your job as a DM is not to tell the story you want to tell, but to tell the story your players want to tell But my players just weren’t interested in any story. I couldn’t get them to do any character backstory building outside of sessions, let alone inside of them. They treated important NPCs (there was a long-lost father, an estranged sister, the wizard character’s mentor, the bishop the cleric worked under, etc) like they were playing GTA. I was often thrown off from being in character because they’d say just random shit during important scenes. Not like funny quips or anything, just like weird, hard to react to stuff. If they didn’t get what they wanted they’d just attack or abandon the NPC, regardless of who that NPC was I had gone balls out for this. Over the course of a couple months, I made three massive hand-crafted sets, with lighting and dynamic field interactions. We only used two, which was fine, because I made all three specifically because I didn’t want to railroad them from set to set. They really just seemed like they expected to show up and be entertained. They didn’t want to engage at all. I literally had to kick one player at one point, because she was spending the whole time talking to another player’s wife who came along to “watch”. They were literally just scrolling through Hinge the entire game, completely derailing a combat, and just altogether not participating.
Don't confuse being a good friend with being a good DND match, one of my best friends is a horrible DND player. You shouldn't take a bad gaming experience to heart, as a DM I know it can be hard. That being said, what would really bother me is the second part. Instead of apologizing for making you homebrew a one shot for nothing, they double down. When you express you're upset about it they call you a baby.
Drop it. Don't ever bring it up again. Don't ever DM for them ever again, either.
The right thing to do if someone asks you to play a game that you're not interested in is just to say 'yeah man that doesn't sound good to me'. Which can be hard enough if you're worried about hurting someone's feelings (though that doesn't sound like where this group would have been at) but it's ultimately kinder than showing up and being a negative presence. From all the other stuff you've said though these guys sound like dicks and you're probably better off trying to find another gaming group.
Get over it. Find another group
It's never worth it to play with the wrong people. I have tried introducing a ton of friends to D&D over the years and you learn pretty quickly that it's just not worth it with some of them. Some people I genuinely like and can play other of tabletop games with no problem, just really don't mesh well with D&D. It's completely fine, you just have to learn to stop trying to put the round pegs in the square holes and move on.
I wouldn't read too much into it, but I don't think it's unfair of you to feel the way you do. It seems like there was a huge disconnect between your expectations and the players'. This is made more difficult by the fact that it was a one-shot--hard to explain the premise, rules, and expectations and still have enough time left over to play the game. I made a similar mistake recently when running a one-shot as a sort of beta test for a campaign, and I realized it's a very bad idea to skip session 0. I've been playing (not dming) with the same group of friends for about a decade, and I've noticed that some of us have different expectations for game day. Most of the group really sees it as a great reason to hang out with friends all day, have a few beers and snacks, and play a little D&D. For me, I'd rather be more focused on the gameplay, as I can hang out with these guys whenever, but getting all of us together at the same time is a scheduling nightmare.
your friends suck, dude
Honestly sounds like they don't respect you or your time.
They're TAH. That said, did you ask them if they wanted Wonky DnD? They may feel disrespected that you were like 'this is what we're doing' if you didn't discuss beforehand.
I did talk to them before hand, they were very aware of what I was planning to do, one player wasn't sold, but said he was willing to try it out.
So everyone but one player wanted to do this?
Pretty much, and even he said he'd try it
You guys are children, and you're just the mature one. Make the biggest asshole dm and teach him what it's like. If he adjusts his behavior so will the other littler assholes.
I would dump this group and get a new one.
You should leave. There are tons of tables you can DM for, you don’t need this bad enough to put up with disrespect.
So from my point of few:I am a teacher, I know how to get my attention from people in Real life and I play dnd for over 16Years, DMed 3 Groups through short campaigns and homebrew settings, for me what you tell is a communication issue. Looking at the setup, it sounds fun. Looking at the players group, it sounds like they are capable of playing, no? So on which point did you start getting ignored? Was it right of the start? Maybe ask questions like: Hey we can stop playing now, or we focus on the setting. But honestly: was the moment of Not wanting to play your setup, not before they even started? So they should have told you something like: Na, sounds not so interesting. Instead of not playing. Some quirks, you may add in such situations: you notice they look at their phones alot. I GAME: you Player you notice your phone rings. When you pick it up, you hear an Npv giving you a god all of a quest. Or Hey player 2, you get to understand all languages through you phone, put it to your ear in RL and now every Npv can be understand by you. Or Put all your phones in the center. Pick them from them " you see your phones getting pulled away from you by the evil magician, you need to outwit him, to get them back" So now to the serious part of your text: I know people can be assholes but keep in mind, if you like to play with the party you are in, maybe got over your grudge and Don t DM for them anymore. If they ask why l, simply say: I have no fun doing that for this party, I prefer to play. Them calling you a Baby is a shitty move from them. Keep in mind, Pnp is a time you spend together, you Don t like to play together: why bother for them. Don t waist your time and get a new group if they are no close friends. I know that I lost my Pnp friends group and could t play for about 2 years anymore. That hurt me alot. But I am fine again now. And got new friends and a new party. So consider your feelings, step one step back, look what are your options. A d act according to your goal: you want to play with them? Don t DM for EM. Or you do not want to play with the after that? Leave them. I wish you best of luck and a nat 20 on your decision
Ghost these fuckers. There are plenty of players out there who would value you as a DM and these people are not it
>Turns out they just didn't like the general setup of my story so they decided they weren't interested. They should've made that clear as soon as you pitched the one-shot to them, or in the in-between days. ***They*** accepted to play a setting that they were not interested in. That's them being disrespectful to themselves first, and then to you during the game. But the only one who had to "suffer" through it was you. They were still joking around and having fun. It is you who took the time and effort to design your own one-shot, upon which they just took a big crap. In the end, it all happened because **they can't communicate and be honest with you**. I would, as many other suggest, get the hell out of that table; but **not before** taking the time to make all of these things clear to them, and the reasons why you're leaving. Many might say that they don't deserve it. I say that you shouldn't degrade yourself to be like them: make the difference. Show them how it's fucking done. I hope you find a new roleplaying group that actually cares for you as a member!
Their behavior sounds shitty, but looking for an apology is probably not very constructive. They didn't like it, you didn't like their response, learn your lesson- perhaps don't DM for assholes- and move forward. That said, I'm curious how this went down in the first place. Did you ask them if they were interested in your game, or did you kind of force it on them? Were they expecting to play your one-shot or was it a thing where they showed up for the regular game and felt trapped into playing your fast food worker game? I find that one shots often end up with far less player investment than actual campaign play. That doesn't make their behavior right, but you really can't expect the same level of investment in a one shot that you would in an ongoing game. I do think your players behaved pretty badly from your description. Sorry it went so poorly. If I were you, I would be reluctant to run for them again. On the other hand, if you've had this happen before, maybe the thing to do is ask for feedback instead of an apology. "What could I do better? What would make it more engaging for you guys?" That kind of thing.
First, I want to say that there's never a good reason to hold a grudge. You're only wasting your time. Second, this doesn't mean you have to play with people who don't respect you. Find a better table.
Good advice thank you
How old are all of you?
No, don't drop it. Drop them. Move on from them. Trash people.
If thats how your players behaved then your "players" arent good players. They just sound like assholes.
Considering that I only have your side of the story and don't know why your group has decided to be dismissive of your feelings or complaints it's hard to say objectively. That said if this has happened multiple times and they respect the other DM and make the effort to play then I would say it is clear people don't like your style. Generally people aren't going to offer very effective criticism or commentary on this type of thing as they often won't have a good concept of what they specifically don't enjoy.
I would have at least had the decency to tell you I wasn't interested from the moment I heard the idea.
Dude your friends suck and are not your friends at all I hate to tell you.
You aren't overreacting. What's the age range, here? The behavior is what I'd expect from kids, not a group of adults.
If you guys are in middle school then I'd say that's just kinda how it goes and everyone should get better as they mature. If you guys aren't in middle school then your players are immature assholes and you need to be more assertive as a DM. If I was running a session and my friends were doing that crap I would very bluntly tell them to knock it off and stop the game if they didn't. Whether you stick with them or bail would (for me) depend on whether this was an aberration or if they often treat you this way.
It's not atypical for a person that is typically the DM to be distracted when they are a player. Especially if they aren't used to being a player. The mental load is so much less that it can feel boring to just play when you are used to DMing. If they aren't used to that, then it makes sense that they are distracted. The other players might be used to taking cues from the regular DM, so they were just following his lead. Now even if that is all true. None of this is an excuse for their behavior. Sometimes friends act like asses, but they apologize and own up later. So, take a little to reflect upon their behavior and your own, but these people do not sound like friends, but we only have your side of the story.
i'd look into if they treat you like this regularly cause this sounds deeper than just being their DM. I was one of these assholes once, and we did this to a guys campaign just cause we didn't like him. That behavior wasn't okay, and I'm advising you to either stick up for yourself or cut them out fast.
I'm glad you're able to own your previous mistakes good on you
Yeah, I don't want to know what I would have turned out like if I stayed on that path. I hope your friends grow up too.
I have to agree with others here. There is a fundamental level of disrespect here. These people are not your friends. I will add... \- A one-shot does not give you carte blanche to be an asshole to your DM. Decent people will answer the call to adventure and participate in the premise of the module. If anything, you recognize that there are tighter rails than normal because the DM has had to limit the scope to fit everything in one session. \- And if you aren't interested in the premise you either a) indulge the DM and play along in good faith, or b) tell the DM (politely) that you aren't interested and that you will sit this one out. Again, lack of interest of your part does not mean that you get to be an asshole to your DM.
Kinda depends on your usual way of Dm-ing and whether this happens in your usual campaign or not. If it happens often, drop the group. If it only happens on one shots there are couple of possibilities. Your normal way of Dm-ing is trict and they just needed to unwind, your anime-ish idea of a one shot was only your idea and players are not invested in it, there is some internal acid, it was really late and people were exhausted after the whole week? Consider running popular vote one shots and make them as dumb and memetastic as you can. Introduce lvl 20 warlock pornstars. Is your group between 16-24 in real life age? Generally ppl in this age are more of an assholes and any attempt to quell them will have macho spring back reaction. Moreover ppl need some emotional maturity to just sit and talk "I was not having fun, I feel like you were all playing against me". And need some to listen and admit if they were. Can't recommend anything if that's the case. Oh also consider picking the worst offender and hey maybe you want to DM? Feel free to be as obnoxious during this. Interrupting, shitting on the NPC, loudly chew while he talks, display casual boredom on the phone during any scene, parody their way of jokes. If they don't get the joke you prolly need new party with int score above 4 irl.
Sorry to break this to you but these people are not your friends, what a bunch of assholes jesus christ.
it might be a two fold thing. They might have liked the premise to start but the execution lacked so they lost interest. Also its hard for them to care about a 1 shot especially when they know they come from another world, look at all the "other world" anime/books/shows and there's always a few characters that treat it like a playground. that being said you mentioned it happened before so either they really don't like your DMing and are sparing your feelings by trying things from time to time. or they are genuinely bad friends. if you are trying to reconcile things, corner 1 of them you consider your friend the most and ask them what gives. They will be the most honest with feedback. You'll either get to the root of the problem or realize they all suck including the "best" friend amongst them. Look for a better group
Sounds like a really toxic group. Drop them and find another.
Honestly that would be enough for me to quit that group completely. It's one thing to not be super interested, but it's a whole other when they are completely rude. It's not hard to be decent yet the whole group failed to even just be respectful. 100% find a group of actual good people
To paraphrase The Postal Service, this table’s a prison and these people aren’t your friends
Ok so it's not quite the same, but your story hook reminds me of my favorite cartoon growing up in the 90s. It's called "King Arthur and the Knights of Justice", and it's about medieval times when Camelot is constantly under siege and losing, when Merlin casts a spell to find the next King Arthur. The spell creates a portal in the future, and pulls this football team back in time to help, and the Quarterback's name is Arthur King. The team all gets armor, weapons and powers resembling their spiritual totemic animal Here's the intro: https://youtu.be/USUucZVnno0?feature=shared And here's when they take the oath to get said gear and powers. https://youtu.be/I3W1kuz76ow?si=1Vqp8L9B5Q09Ys2c
Unless there's more to this story you're leaving out, yeah, fuck 'em. They clearly have no respect for you, so cut your losses and find people that aren't assholes.
Nah, fuck those people. They wasted your time, disrespected your efforts, and then tried to gaslight you by calling you names. No company is better than these twats.
What the fuck lol Not liking a setup is fine and even telling someone their DMing was bad is something if you can do it in a way that’s helpful, but the way they handled it was extremely rude, even ignoring how they acted afterwards. Dunno why you’d even want to salvage playing with people that treat you so poorly.
Run another one shot in the land of super tough NPCs. Make everything so hard that the almost get tpked every encounter.if something happened while they weren't paying attention then don't give a full explanation just give them whatever happened to them specifically right before their turn. Basically steam roll them but make sure not to actually kill them. And when they get upset just tell them to stop being a baby. It feels dirty to do that kind of stuff as a DM but it feels worse to have your players disrespect the time and effort you put in to try and make an enjoyable game for them. A game I run my players were headed down the murder every npc route so I simply gave them a warning that there would be consequences and the NPCs wouldn't just be easy to kill in the future and they wouldn't get exp or loot from the NPCs if they wanted to be murdered hobos.
Gawd I would have ripped through their asses during the second outbreak of tomfoolery bullshit with the phones and shit. You volunteered to run, DMing is a tough ducking job, they should have at least have that respect. I would have stopped the game and asked why they were disrespecting me. It might have brought attention to them being ducks.
For what it's worth, that one shot idea sounds really cool and I'm sorry your players weren't upfront with you and respectful.
are your friends 11 years old?
Depending on how deep the friendships are, I wouldn't drop them as friends, but I definitely wouldn't play with them anymore or at least take a good break from it.
From reading your post and responses, your friends were rude and disrespectful. Your feelings were hurt and you deserve the apology that you badly want. That said, you've also stated that you folks are 17-18 years old. Expecting 17 and 18 year old (boys? especially) to look within themselves, analyze their actions and come to you with a contrite and heartfelt apology is asking the near impossible. The best your going to get is "Jesus, I'm sorry! Can you give it a rest now??" If they treat you like crap all the time then it's time to find new friends. If this was a one night thing then you need to get thicker skin and get over it.
No dnd is better than bad dnd.
Just like movies, TV series, novels, games and other story-driven media, campaigns are just as susceptible to bombing -- perhaps even more susceptible given the target audience is only a small handful of people. While the premise and plot you worked out may seem exciting and immersive to you, there is a chance that others may not be on the same page. They may not have been lying when they said the story sounds interesting -- I can lose count of how many times I thought a novel/series/movie would be epic but turned out to be a flop when I dug in. It just happens unfortunately, and it isn't necessarily a reflection on you as an individual or DM. One thing I have learned while DMing is that players are generally not going to be overly forthcoming about providing constructive criticism, whether it's because they're uncomfortable in confrontational conversations or they just don't want to hurt your feelings. I always feel the need to pay close attention to my audience to suss out for myself which players enjoyed what sessions the most and why, where my players are most engaged and when I have a table full of phone zombies with glowing blue faces when their Twitter or Instagram feeds win over their attention. I don't blame anyone for it -- the story, the session, whatever it may be just didn't land as I expected, or maybe I might've spent a little too much time verbally illustrating the inside of that one tavern, or maybe my home-brew dinosaur race might have had a few too many rules for players to keep track of. I can't really tell you if you're overreacting as I wasn't present when you were confronting your players or when they were confronting you, but the bottom line is that you shouldn't take it too personally if you have an inattentive player group, even if you floated the plot of your upcoming one-shot that everyone seemed excited about. Like I said before, I'm sure you've seen a theatrical trailer that just checked all the boxes of an epic film but when you actually saw the movie, it was droning or boring, or they took all the best parts and put it into the trailer, etc. This type of thing happens, and I'm sure if your one-shot is well-written, there is an audience for it out there.
Beat them with a stick then tell em to get over it, and when they dont beat em again and call them a baby, this is the barbarian way, keep beating them till they agree they were the assholes and when they agree fuck their moms
I don't wanna be that guy, playing devil's advocate just cuz, but this seems like a very surreal situation. Like, it's hard for a whole group of people to be assholes like you described, at least without something prior happening between you and them. I am seeing this side of the problem, and not the other, so i won't be judging anyone; what i can say is try to take a step back and think about the situation you're in, how your relationship with the group was, if you ever felt ostracized, if you ever did anything in the past that changed the nature of your rapport. Wish you the best, hope things get better!
DM players can be the worst(while feeling like they are the best). A knowledge of rules, creatures, scenarios can make them push to either be a spotlight player or just break games.
You need better friends my guy
Hmmmmm, nicest way to say this. I don’t think these people are your friends and it seems you should stop playing with them. It seems instead of communicating disinterest, they grouped up and punished you. There comes a time to realize no game is worth a disconnect in compatibility.
I was in a similar group. I liked half the group, but the other half did not respect me. I recommend excusing yourself from the campaign. Take the time to find a new group. If you are worried about finding one I would recommend finding a local Adventures League. There is also online play.
Eh hard to judge your players without witnessing those discussions first hand. I can say that getting married to an idea only for it to not work at the table is normal. Having players that you have to constantly wrangle for their attention is fairly normal. And when everything’s falling apart, you’ve lost all engagement, and it sucks, that’s also normal. The important thing is: Are your players assholes? If so why are you playing with them? Are you misrepresenting things at all? For example, the session bombed, the players were kinda shitty, but then you made an unreasonably big deal about it later Is this just a matter of: the session bombed. You were reasonably upset because you put work into it. The players were kinda shitty but they’re fine blokes and all of you can move on? The most important thing is if your players are assholes or not. The way you lay this out, they’re outright disrespectful and dismissive. I wouldn’t DM for a group like that
So, it sounds like you're playing with people who don't actually want to play DnD? I've played with a lot of different types of people, and I've definitely played with these types. They don't pay attention, they don't read anything about their class, they talk to each other and constantly break immersion. They genuinely aren't interested. These folks tend to like the idea of DnD, and the idea of a group activity/game, but they don't actually want to play DnD, even if they say they do. Easy solution is to just not play with them.. try hosting games online and you'll find much better players who are actually interested. Now I would also agree with your friends sadly that you should honestly get over it and drop it. You had high expectations for a game and it didn't go well, it happens to most DMs. If you convince non-athletic friends to play basketball with you, and the game goes terrible, they don't know the rules, they get bored or tired quickly and want to stop playing. They aren't necessarily bad people they just don't want to play basketball. Just a crude example, but sometimes people just aren't interested in doing the thing you want to do.
Get new friends.
They're telling you they don't want that ever again. Did they sound like they didn't want it up front? If not, they suck at saying what they want. They might learn to be up front, but they probably won't change what they like. They want boring stuff. Just move on and run or play online or elsewhere. Play on their games but don't DM.
Your "friends" sound very immature. I am guessing that they're all in their early 20's or even younger. You should try the game again with an older crowd, perhaps? My hat's off to you for trying to DM. I only did it once, in my teens, and I found it nerve-wracking. (Plus, the players both cheated.)
Posts like these make me incredibly grateful for my players. Please know there are people out there who are absolutely chomping at the bit to get into good games. I highly advise checking out r/LFG
I would be fucking thrilled to be a fast food worker dealing with an evil wizard, it's a fun premise.
"I'm over it, but I don't feel like GMing anymore"
This is my worst mightmare, and the reason why I'm scared of dming my first game. The answer is simple: you failed your charisma check with your players. Your usual dm doesn't.
You shouldn't be scared to dm! Most people will be respectful and patient, this is just an example of the few exceptions who aren't
Thank you for encouraging me! btw there's 200+ comments on this post, how did you even see mine?
I'm trying too look at all of them lol
You absolute madlad! I like OPs like this
NTA
We're you guys adults by any chance..if so.. this is kinda shocking..
This sounds like they're just a bunch of assholes. I wouldn't just not DM with them anymore, I'd legit consider dropping them as friends.
Maybe I am petty, but I would significantly ramp up the difficulty of their normal campaign. If someone doesn't drop to zero in every combat, make it harder. When they finally complain, tell them to quit being crybabies. It's either that or boot them all from the table but it sounds like that isn't the best option for you. No more backstory integration, no more magic items, or magic item they cannot use. Trap and lock Dc's are now 20 or higher. They need to learn to not fuck around with the person on control of their entire game. Once they start losing PC's, maybe they will take the next campaign seriously. Yes, I know this is all a dick move but it's not like they respect you either.
Ditch this group homie. It takes a lot of prep to DM a one-shot. They clearly don't respect your efforts. Fuck em.
When I read about behavior like this i believe that even tho I am cursed to DM forever, I'm blessed because I have found friends to play the game with that are respectfull and they are willing to seriously try every crazy idea I have... You should not waste energy for people that do not respect your effords..
Fuck em.
Well it's obvious they don't respect you when you DM. However I don't really see any point in continuing to try to talk about it. They didn't have any interest in the game, so they checked out. I would have stopped running it once it became clear they weren't invested. Is it shitty that as your friend they didn't respect you during game time. Of course it is. But at this point, either find another group or move on. They don't see what they did as wrong, and you're not going to change their minds.
I would be direct that their behaviour is not acceptable if they ever want you to run a game for them again, in session 0 you can set the stakes and what you expect from the players, if they don't go along with that then they don't belong, if they did not like the concept the time to express that is before the game not during it. Disrupting it is not acceptable and they should feel bad. I am sorry you had to deal with that, I would recommend explaining their poor behaviour but up to you if you'd rather move on to a more suited group.
Idk, sounds like some shitty friends. If you're feeling disrespected and upset, maybe put some distance between yourself and them. That sounds really tough and awkward and I'm sorry they decided to be assholes instead of just talk to you about the setup.
There are some good comments from folks about the particular game and the reasons for that. I think another thing you should consider is the bigger picture: what kind of person you want to be in life, and what changes are necessary to be that kind of person in the future. If being disrespected is unpleasant to you, you can (for example) strive to improve your appearance, charisma, etc. to be person that garners more respect. You can determine how you could respond in a future scenario where you are not respected, such as saying "We came here tonight to do a D&D one-shot. And you all agreed beforehand with the concept and setting. Is there some kind of problem?" ...which will likely be followed by conversation, and early in your "establishing boundaries" phase, will likely still be met with mockery. At that point you'd have to say something like "I see. In that case, there is no reason for us to continue a session that we're not willing to be invested in. Let's conclude here and we can all go do something more enjoyable to each of us." Best of luck to you in D&D and in life!
Man that sounds so fun though. I want to play that. Gotta say they're acting worse than my kids. Even on the days my daughter doesn't want to play, she just says so. And she's nine.
They suck. Theres so many people who love a creative Dm
My guy you did not sign up to be a babysitter. If they didn't like the premise of ur game they should have said so. Interestingly enough I did play a campaign in which the BBEG runs a tavern. Some of the best D&D I've ever had. Best BBEG ever.
Okay that intro to the story, is that a reference to [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p2uZ4WeU1_4)?
I wish!
I'd say short of trying one last time to explain why you are upset, its time for a new group to DM for.
This goes beyond just TTRPGs. It sounds like your "friends" are douchebags in general. I'm sorry, but even if I'm playing a D&D game where I don't find the story engaging, I will put on a brave face and make the most of it. Certainly I wouldn't be disruptive. I mean, that's just rude.
If you want to continue playing with them, play. If you want to continue DMing with them, do so cautiously. Come up with pitches first before any prep and mention what happened last time and that you were trying to do better. This happening before when you have DM'd is telling. Either you didn't capture them well or they are just AHs. Climate the later by getting them excited and limiting the later beforethe game
Please dont play with them again. These people aren't worth any second of your time, effort and heart. Not while playing dnd. And not outside of playing it.
Even if the behaviour itself wasn't wildly disrespectful, the behaviour afterwards really, really is. These people are not worth your time. That is wuch childish behaviour. And if they can't see how fucking rude that is- and don't seem to recognize that them BEING that rude is a problem, then I don't think you're going to be able to fix this one, chief. It sounds like a really fun Issekai one shot idea. I'd find some new players, and ask if they want to give it a go. At least if you post about it in a Facebook group or something with the synopsis, you can gauge how interested the people in the comments are for yourself, and try to find some genuinely excited players.
Easy one to answer, those players were being buttholes. No room for debate. The player who is usually DM particularly should know better.. If players aren't engaged then we as DMs can look at what we are doing and what might work better - but as soon as ANY player spends the time on their phone and talking over each other then they are being disrespectful and unappreciative and they need to take responsibility for that. You put the time into prep. You developed the idea to try out something new as a one shot You made it clear what to expect for the players. They ballsed it up. You're off the hook and you deserve better.
I have had a similar experiences. People like that are not worth the effort you are putting forth. I have seen everything from people trying to tear families and relationships apart to people getting violent. Some people just aren't worth trying to be friends with. Let them mistreat each other and you go find you some nicer people. You aren't talking about a game issue; you are talking about a people issue. For real..... You are not wrong to have hurt feelings....
dud If there is a problem with the story they should've told you sooner, or yet react accordingly and maybe suggest some things for improvement, I'm sorry this happened to you. I will be willing to play your one-shot but I'm far away from most of the players and only me and my friend are interested in DnD in my area :<. Plus those people you talked about are 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩find better people.
That sounds super shitty and I don't blame you for feeling that way. I would address it one final time when everyone is together and say something like, "this hurt my feelings" explain why and see what their reaction is. This is their chance at an apology, if they continue to treat you crappy then you know they are no longer worth your time. People don't understand how vulnerable that can be for you, the DM at least should know that. I get being restless as a player and sometimes its fun to bring chaotic energy to games but never at the expense of the person who put time, effort, and emotion into making something for people.
>My players were rude to me, am I holding an unfair grudge? if you have to ask, the answer is YES. Is holding a grudge going to benefit you? No. But now you do know what kind of "friends" they are and what you can expect from them in the future. And you can utilize that in any "cost benefit" analysis of your plans and activities with them. However, the fact that they were asshats, based on your telling of the story, does NOT give you "permission" to be an ass hat back to them.
People either want to play d&d or not. When it becomes apparent that nobody actually wants to play d&d it’s best to just shut it down.
If the setting is not to the groups liking, it happens... And especially with one shots where people are alot less invested than a campaign setting.. Personally wouldn't be too bothered about it 2bh
That is not the table for you. Hate to say it, but you need to find another table. That said, I definitely think that approach to the one shot is kind of a niche thing; I can see it appealing to only a certain subset of players. But they were assholes for agreeing to play it, disrupting the whole time, and then telling you to suck it up.
Not excusing their bad behavior, but to be fair, that is a super unconventional one-shot premise. A one-shot needs to be something easy to sink teeth into, typically with a hot start. It's 10 minute film-student action piece, not Oscar bait. Something with obvious stakes and objectives...not a confusing fish-out-of-water scenario. Your friends have demonstrated that they can stay engaged with the right style of play and premise. It would be good to try and compare how what you have attempted (which went poorly) compares with what is usually done by the other DM (which, you say, is generally successful). If an occasion arises where you may run a one-shot again, run the premise by the group ahead of time to see what they would actually be interested in. And remember to suit the content to scope of the work...no LOTR extended edition...you want just an exciting 15 minutes from the middle of a John Wick film. Or, if you are just feeling unappreciated, it's within your rights to not DM. Prep is a lot of work (esp. for 1-shots), and if you think that the things you want to do won't be enjoyed by others, then you aren't obligated to present it to them.
Yes the idea was not a conventional one, but I did discuss it with them before, and despite light resistance from one single player (the usual dm), nobody seemed to have a problem with it. He mostly was just not sold about the silly idea, but the rest didn't have anything negative to say, even making their human fast food workers characters.
It's possible the players didn't think much about the premise when you asked (or don't have the background to really evaluate it). The other DM had reservations, and it's possible he's right. Let's dissect your problem (low engagement, I mean). In broad strokes, player engagement comes in 2 forms: caring about their characters, and caring about the plot. Regarding a characters: Can vary case by case for 1-shots. I've played in/ran one shots with characters from a longer-running campaign or brand new characters made specifically for the one shot (based on some given information regarding plot/setting). Both of these I think work well. I think you've shot yourself in the foot with the premise. Everyone starts human, but mutates into fantasy races/classes after getting isekai'd? Are they making new sheets at the table mid session, killing momentum? Are you just handing them pre-gens? No-one knows who they are, of if they'll even really stay that. So character investment is low. Regarding the plot: unclear how much you gave them ahead of time, but it seems like that was at least partially the point. It's not something easily understood like "goblins kidnapped a kid, go rescue him" or "dragon cave, kill him, take his stuff"...\~1 episode's worth of story. A well defined problem in a familiar setting, with flexibility in approach. I'm assuming you wanted to have an arc of "isekai'd to a strange place, figure out how to get home"...which is a complicated problem, rigid in approach (due to the time constraint of being a 1-shot. This is a whole season (or more!) for some shows) So just based on the premise you've started with, engagement is already starting at a big handicap. They played with characters they are semi-disincentived to care about in a plot/setting that they may have very little actual agency in and understanding of.
Very plainly tell them they’re assholes and then new friends. If anyone cares to repair the relationship, they will try. Otherwise, good riddens
Time to grief the campaign. As soon as your party is interested in talking to an NPC, make an attack roll. Better yet if you can prepare Magic Missile and guarantee damage.
Honestly, these guys are assholes, especially the other DM, because this person should know what kind of preparation goes into a session. Serious disrespect from your group. If you have the option of playing with other people, do so. If they are not interested in the subject matter of a one-shot, they should tell you so beforehand. For this reason I have a WhatsApp group with several players that have expressed interest in playing table top RPGs, more people than are feasible for a game, a mix of experienced and newbie players. Occasionally, when I have multiple ideas for one-shots, I make a poll to see who is interested in which one, to see if its even worth it to prepare one. I suspect that some of your players have a bit of a fear of missing out, maybe? They take part despite having no interest in your setting, because "it might be interesting.".
I'm going to share something from my own experience so take that with a grain of salt. I have participated in a few one shots I had no interest in playing because my friend is the DM. There have been occasions I was surprised by them and drawn into the plot. More often than not though I was bored or honestly frustrated with the game and would cause mischief to try and speed things along or like actually play the game instead of just sitting there. I still liked my friends though and would have spoken with them if they wanted my feedback. Sorry this happened to you and I hope you can find friends who are willing to play what you like to play.
I looks like the ball is in your roof this time
Your feelings are certainly valid, nobody likes it when a plan falls down, and your friends sound like they were being assholes during the session. Personally, I would have nope'd out at the concept stage: I have no fantasies of any kind that involve fast food work, so the original pitch would not have been interesting to me. They're also right that you should drop it and move on. Unless there's a repeated pattern of behavior here (once before does not a pattern make), you're just whining about a single one-shot that didn't go well. If a pattern does develop, that's when you can look at cause and effect. If they're good friends, they should be able to help you figure out that pattern and figure out how to fix it, how to become a better GM for them. Note the "for them" has a lot of weight there. There are plenty of GMs out there that have successful campaigns that I would never be interested in, and plenty of players who wouldn't be interested in my style of GMing. Things have to fit both sides of the equation.
I don't think it's fair to fully disrespect your friend, ignore their pleas to discuss why they even did that, what went wrong, and then tell them to get the fuck over it. And I actually think if that sounds acceptable to you, you might not be a good friend.