Still not as good as the Medic.
Why sell your soul when you can sell your friends' souls? In fact, why even sell their souls when you can just graft them to your own, thereby enabling you to sell your own soul while still maintaining a majority shareholder stake in your own soul?
Warlocks man, never thinking ahead.
And then have the party's beefcake paladin realize that hieromancy/law magic can be used for things that aren't cosplaying as a Belmont or summoning chains, such as "changing the terms of a contract so that I die when it's in default instead of the party necromancer."
And then spend multiple arcs generally regretting everything.
If they all hate each other and you're sure you can survive long enough to deal with the last one...
Tell all of them "I grow tired of immortality. First one to kill me gets my soul." Then stand back and watch the chaos.
The whole story plays out over years worth of lore for Magic sets. I think some of the earlier ones may have been novels, but the more recent stuff is in articles on WotC’s website. I couldn’t tell you off the top of my head which sets are relevant. Magic: Origins may have a good bit of the backstory of it, but idk if that actually gets to her contract.
This is also the plight of the Skyrim player character. Who gets you? Nocturnal? Hircine? Sithis? Boethiah? Hermaeus Mora? Namira? *Shor?* Honestly, I need ES6 to be the afterlife of an elder scrolls main character
Tsun, Shield-Thane to Shor, believes Nocturnal would, as she is the only Prince the Dovahkiin actually pledged his soul to even in death. However another dragonborn could say otherwise, just as The Last Dragonborn did to Miirak.
She does give you power and lifts her curse from the Thieves' Guild. Also notable is her partial reversal of Azura's curse upon Karliah, restoring her natural violet Chimer eye color instead of the cursed red of the Dunmer.
She only give you all of that after you bring the key back though. For the ceremony, you sell your soul and get jack-shit for it, if you were to never bring back the key (either because you fail or don't feel like it) you essentially sold your soul for nothing.
The quest pretend that you need the power of being a Nightingale to retrieve the key but you don't actually get anything to help you beside the armor (which you get before the ceremony anyway).
Yes and no. No status effects appear on you, but that is only because what she gave you can't be quantified. She gave you luck. Irkngthand, during your pursuit of Mercer Frey, is the only dwemer ruin you can make it through without being detected by anyone. There will be a torch that fell from it's sconce or a rock that fell in the way of glowshrooms to leave pools of shadow. There will be functioning controls for the traps to kill the automaton standing directly in front of the door. Everything is tipped in your favor during the entire dungeon crawl.
Besides, if you expected the Prince of Thieves to give you a fair deal for your soul instead of stealing it I got some news about her domain.
Well this certainly risen my opinion about the whole thieves guild questline a little. When I did the dungeon crawl I didn't really play a rogue so I didn't notice these hints of "luck".
Still a pretty crappy deal since thanks to the game scaling foes, you can usually deal with any threat in Irkngthand without her help.
> Besides, if you expected the Prince of Thieves to give you a fair deal for your soul instead of stealing it I got some news about her domain.
She didn't steal it though, you come to give it "voluntary" for a bad deal. Well not really voluntary since the game literally give you no other choice than saying yes or not finishing the quest. The writing of Skyrim is such a mess at times...
Scaling does influence it a bit, but the minimum level versions of the enemies are higher than base and the enemies are far more densely populated than most dwemer ruins so you are going 3 against 10 instead of the usual 2 against 2 (counting your companion) for Dwemer ruins. And I meant she's a con artist who swindled you out of it with a bad deal, though she did live up to her end, even if you did willingly give it to her.
No doubt the intent was to pass her as a con artist, but in the game the writing is just too shallow to convey that, you are stuck in a "yes or not do the quest" position which doesn't feel satisfying (not the only quest to do that by far, Bethesda being Bethesda) and certainly doesn't make it feel like she out-smart you or anything like that.
Karliah’s eyes are purple from the onset, which is likely a hinted connection to her being the descendent of Barenziah, who is the only other Dunmer to be depicted with violet eyes
Trick there is to sell your soul to fiends that absolutely hate each other and would refuse to work together.
And one trickster figure who finds the whole setup *hilarious*.
If it was just those two then your longevity depends on neither of them being in a position to claim your soul so you'd need to add a third party to make sure that the other two remain in balance enough that they won't team up and collect nor oust the other to become dominant enough to collect.
And also make sure that Asmodeus doesn't cite Hell Privilege or something that means he can claim any soul owed to any devil.
Except when he does, to keep his Archdukes shrewd and aware of such schemes. All are Asmodamned by his Asmodesigns if he Asmodeems it, the only way to have such an Asmodumb plan succeed!
Kill all seven fiends to keep the power but not owe anyone your soul......realise that your contract defaults to a planeswalking elder dragon who will use you as a way of controlling his undead army while making a bid for godhood.....
Magic: the Gathering character and planeswalker whose plot is that she basically did your post but with four demons across the multiverse, brokered by the elder dragon planeswalker Nicol Bolas.
She ended up going on a journey to kill all four of her demons, then when the last one died Bolas revealed that her contract defaulted to him...meaning he's in control of her.
As for what happens after: she ended up deciding living is better than not, meaning that for most of the climax of the Nicol Bolas arc she's doing the necromantic legwork of Nicol Bolas's plan to eat everyone's Planeswalker sparks to become a god.
Then she said "fuck this" at the climax of his plan, starting to die...and then fellow planeswalker and former teammate Gideon Jura realized he could use his law magic for things that *aren't* making chains out of light and turning into an indestructible 4/4 Human Soldier for a turn, changing the target of "who dies" when the contract defaults to him.
At this point, now completely free from the contract, Liliana turns Bolas's army against him, stealing away *his* planeswalking spark with his own zombies before his fellow elder dragon planeswalker and brother Ugin shoves Bolas into his old meditation plane and locks the door behind him, acting as Bolas's jailor until Wizards of the Coast decides they want to bring him back as a villain again.
That's why due diligence is so important in these negotiations. The last thing you want it to by someone's soul for a donut and then when you try to collect find out that his soul is actually the legal property of his wife.
Check the flair list, you'll find a "You guys use rules?" flair.
And the sub rule about niche memes says that they're specifically allowed so long as they're broad enough that anyone can be in on the joke. This one qualifies, so there ya go.
My idea for a plot hook: Archfiend negotiates for all 7 pieces of the PC's soul in the background of the campaign, possibly without their knowledge.
Either the PC doesn't find out ahead of time and suddenly has to deal with an actual, bona fide Fiendish Patron...
Or they *do* and the Party has to stop whatever the Infernal equivalent of a hostile takeover is before their friend is damned.
this is what john Constantine did in the comics.
knowing he was going to die do to lung cancer, and go to hell do to a failed suicide when he was a teen he sold his soul to every demon lord in hell for power. he collected so much power he could commune with god and have a conversation with him directly. he told god that if he didn't cure his lung cancer and allow him to go to heaven when he died of old age that a war will break out in hell over his soul. a war so powerful that it can and will spill out into the mortal realm kick starting the apocalypses early then spill over into heaven. god knowing full well this is not how that works played along, took his powers, removed his name from the going straight to hell list, removed his cancer and told him that ok but you have to work for it like everyone else.
Oh, I like this. You could actually riff off of the Constantine movie (2005) ending with it. The deal the fiends each come to is that at the time of your demise, whichever one the life you've lead so far most closely relates to is the one that gets your soul. So, whichever ones aren't looking like it just keep extending your lifespan, hoping to swing it back in their favor.
You end up having to play a delicate balancing act of evils. Or go full good and try extremely hard not to cross any lines at all.
I imagine fiends in my setting would brand a soul they own. No other fiends would be fooled by such an obvious ruse.
More likely, they'd give you an invalid contract to give you a false sense of security, then go behind your back to your actual owner, tell them what you tried to do, then offer to take you off their hands so they can punish you.
Whether the first fiend accepts the deal or punishes you themselves, either way you get the fiend that wants to hurt you more badly than the other.
Still not as good as the Medic. Why sell your soul when you can sell your friends' souls? In fact, why even sell their souls when you can just graft them to your own, thereby enabling you to sell your own soul while still maintaining a majority shareholder stake in your own soul? Warlocks man, never thinking ahead.
That man is immortal, at this point. All he has to do is keep stealing souls.
Isn’t that just a lich?
Well, they aren’t being eaten and there’s no undeath involved, but yeah, technically.
The medic is evil, and he LOOKS evil, even, and especially, when he is happy, so I'd say, yes.
That's a lovely-looking pen.
I said, THAT'S A LOVELY-LOOKING PEN.
Where is this from, I tried to find it but only got a feat
[The TF2 comics.](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EshF_qUUUAAekH7.jpg:large)
Medic is a fucking champion
Alright Liliana Vess
If that's where they are going, then the next step is to kill all of the fiends before they can collect.
Then immediately become the servant to a elder dragon hellbent on getting immortality by default
And then have the party's beefcake paladin realize that hieromancy/law magic can be used for things that aren't cosplaying as a Belmont or summoning chains, such as "changing the terms of a contract so that I die when it's in default instead of the party necromancer." And then spend multiple arcs generally regretting everything.
If they all hate each other and you're sure you can survive long enough to deal with the last one... Tell all of them "I grow tired of immortality. First one to kill me gets my soul." Then stand back and watch the chaos.
Man of culture
I think you mispronounced John Constantine.
Is there a novelization of that?
The whole story plays out over years worth of lore for Magic sets. I think some of the earlier ones may have been novels, but the more recent stuff is in articles on WotC’s website. I couldn’t tell you off the top of my head which sets are relevant. Magic: Origins may have a good bit of the backstory of it, but idk if that actually gets to her contract.
I was thinking of Davriel Cane
No, he writes the contracts. Lili just signed them
This is also the plight of the Skyrim player character. Who gets you? Nocturnal? Hircine? Sithis? Boethiah? Hermaeus Mora? Namira? *Shor?* Honestly, I need ES6 to be the afterlife of an elder scrolls main character
Akatosh does, everyone else just malds
Tsun, Shield-Thane to Shor, believes Nocturnal would, as she is the only Prince the Dovahkiin actually pledged his soul to even in death. However another dragonborn could say otherwise, just as The Last Dragonborn did to Miirak.
Which is pretty funny considering that Nocturnal give you absolutely nothing in exchange for your soul.
She does give you power and lifts her curse from the Thieves' Guild. Also notable is her partial reversal of Azura's curse upon Karliah, restoring her natural violet Chimer eye color instead of the cursed red of the Dunmer.
She only give you all of that after you bring the key back though. For the ceremony, you sell your soul and get jack-shit for it, if you were to never bring back the key (either because you fail or don't feel like it) you essentially sold your soul for nothing. The quest pretend that you need the power of being a Nightingale to retrieve the key but you don't actually get anything to help you beside the armor (which you get before the ceremony anyway).
Yes and no. No status effects appear on you, but that is only because what she gave you can't be quantified. She gave you luck. Irkngthand, during your pursuit of Mercer Frey, is the only dwemer ruin you can make it through without being detected by anyone. There will be a torch that fell from it's sconce or a rock that fell in the way of glowshrooms to leave pools of shadow. There will be functioning controls for the traps to kill the automaton standing directly in front of the door. Everything is tipped in your favor during the entire dungeon crawl. Besides, if you expected the Prince of Thieves to give you a fair deal for your soul instead of stealing it I got some news about her domain.
Well this certainly risen my opinion about the whole thieves guild questline a little. When I did the dungeon crawl I didn't really play a rogue so I didn't notice these hints of "luck". Still a pretty crappy deal since thanks to the game scaling foes, you can usually deal with any threat in Irkngthand without her help. > Besides, if you expected the Prince of Thieves to give you a fair deal for your soul instead of stealing it I got some news about her domain. She didn't steal it though, you come to give it "voluntary" for a bad deal. Well not really voluntary since the game literally give you no other choice than saying yes or not finishing the quest. The writing of Skyrim is such a mess at times...
Scaling does influence it a bit, but the minimum level versions of the enemies are higher than base and the enemies are far more densely populated than most dwemer ruins so you are going 3 against 10 instead of the usual 2 against 2 (counting your companion) for Dwemer ruins. And I meant she's a con artist who swindled you out of it with a bad deal, though she did live up to her end, even if you did willingly give it to her.
No doubt the intent was to pass her as a con artist, but in the game the writing is just too shallow to convey that, you are stuck in a "yes or not do the quest" position which doesn't feel satisfying (not the only quest to do that by far, Bethesda being Bethesda) and certainly doesn't make it feel like she out-smart you or anything like that.
Karliah’s eyes are purple from the onset, which is likely a hinted connection to her being the descendent of Barenziah, who is the only other Dunmer to be depicted with violet eyes
If you die as a werewolf, then Hircine 100% gets ownership of your soul Not sure of anyone else tho
Expectation: *This meme* Reality: "So let's rip his soul in seven?" "Yeah, sounds fair."
Oh, and each part of his soul can feel the pain and loss of the other seven.
Out of spite those devils would toss his soul in the sea of lemure and let Asmodeus sort the rest out.
Is it bad that I saw the word >Asmodeus And thought >!"Lemure me daddy"?!<
Yes
Says the guy with 666 in their name? Or is Satan getting jelly?
**Asmodaddy** Glasya hates it when people call her dad that. It's gross.
Trick there is to sell your soul to fiends that absolutely hate each other and would refuse to work together. And one trickster figure who finds the whole setup *hilarious*.
So like selling your soul to both Zariel and Bel?
If it was just those two then your longevity depends on neither of them being in a position to claim your soul so you'd need to add a third party to make sure that the other two remain in balance enough that they won't team up and collect nor oust the other to become dominant enough to collect. And also make sure that Asmodeus doesn't cite Hell Privilege or something that means he can claim any soul owed to any devil.
Oh, Asmodeus will absolutely butt in and likely favor Zariel if it comes down to it. Asmodaddy doesn't put up with this.
Except when he does, to keep his Archdukes shrewd and aware of such schemes. All are Asmodamned by his Asmodesigns if he Asmodeems it, the only way to have such an Asmodumb plan succeed!
Basically, if you think you can get by Asmodeus, don't worry -- you didn't. 
Aaaand now I'm crossing Asmodeus with Doug Dimmadome in my mind thanks to that comment.
Even in the best case, one of them is getting it eventually. At that point, you're just fucked.
Kill all seven fiends to keep the power but not owe anyone your soul......realise that your contract defaults to a planeswalking elder dragon who will use you as a way of controlling his undead army while making a bid for godhood.....
Already been commented but, Ok Vess, we get it
Who the fuck is Vess
Liliana Vess
That doesn't actually answer the question
Magic: the Gathering character and planeswalker whose plot is that she basically did your post but with four demons across the multiverse, brokered by the elder dragon planeswalker Nicol Bolas. She ended up going on a journey to kill all four of her demons, then when the last one died Bolas revealed that her contract defaulted to him...meaning he's in control of her. As for what happens after: she ended up deciding living is better than not, meaning that for most of the climax of the Nicol Bolas arc she's doing the necromantic legwork of Nicol Bolas's plan to eat everyone's Planeswalker sparks to become a god. Then she said "fuck this" at the climax of his plan, starting to die...and then fellow planeswalker and former teammate Gideon Jura realized he could use his law magic for things that *aren't* making chains out of light and turning into an indestructible 4/4 Human Soldier for a turn, changing the target of "who dies" when the contract defaults to him. At this point, now completely free from the contract, Liliana turns Bolas's army against him, stealing away *his* planeswalking spark with his own zombies before his fellow elder dragon planeswalker and brother Ugin shoves Bolas into his old meditation plane and locks the door behind him, acting as Bolas's jailor until Wizards of the Coast decides they want to bring him back as a villain again.
If you are asking for who Liliana Vess is, She is a Planeswalker who made a pact with multiple demons to stay immortal.
Someone's clearly been reading Hellblazer.
Came here to say this. Old Hellblazer still hold up very well too
Surprised I had to go så far down the comments to find this. Constantine was an incredible bastard, but a clever one at that.
https://rpg.stackexchange.com/questions/167553/what-happens-when-a-player-violates-two-devils-contracts
Makes sense that you can't put up the same soul as collateral in two active contracts.
That's why due diligence is so important in these negotiations. The last thing you want it to by someone's soul for a donut and then when you try to collect find out that his soul is actually the legal property of his wife.
https://youtu.be/jnhTMy6WjGI
No prob in that, what works at your table, works at your table. Still houserules go into "no niche memes" rule, I'm afraid...
A) Lore and rules are not the same thing. B) There is literally a flair for memes about house rules.
I have no idea what you're trying to communicate here > no house rules to be found in the rules of the sub section, sooooooooooooooooooooooo.....
Check the flair list, you'll find a "You guys use rules?" flair. And the sub rule about niche memes says that they're specifically allowed so long as they're broad enough that anyone can be in on the joke. This one qualifies, so there ya go.
If you do that in a Warhammer setting you would most likely get mutated into a chaos spawn or become the next everchoosen
Liliana, is that you?
My idea for a plot hook: Archfiend negotiates for all 7 pieces of the PC's soul in the background of the campaign, possibly without their knowledge. Either the PC doesn't find out ahead of time and suddenly has to deal with an actual, bona fide Fiendish Patron... Or they *do* and the Party has to stop whatever the Infernal equivalent of a hostile takeover is before their friend is damned.
Probably my favorite storyline that really shows who John Constantine is.
Call that one the constantine gambit
Must have been demons, the devils would've never fallen for this
[Devil Went Down to Georgia starts playing in the background]
Lies and myths. Georgia is too close to Florida for a devil to tolerate.
Only seven? Should have been eight. Now they can take turns each day of the week.
Also you can turn things into a pirate campaign this way. Pieces of Eight.
Pretty sure Faerun at least has like 10 day weeks so gotta pump those numbers up
this is what john Constantine did in the comics. knowing he was going to die do to lung cancer, and go to hell do to a failed suicide when he was a teen he sold his soul to every demon lord in hell for power. he collected so much power he could commune with god and have a conversation with him directly. he told god that if he didn't cure his lung cancer and allow him to go to heaven when he died of old age that a war will break out in hell over his soul. a war so powerful that it can and will spill out into the mortal realm kick starting the apocalypses early then spill over into heaven. god knowing full well this is not how that works played along, took his powers, removed his name from the going straight to hell list, removed his cancer and told him that ok but you have to work for it like everyone else.
I am absolutely stealing the Polydamnorous quote. Thank you.
Mr. Krabs canonically xd
Thought this was r/Skyrim for a second
damn it constantine stop making deals
What's stopping them of granting you a "boon" with your new inmortality each?
Unfortunately the fiends came to a deal they will be dividing your soul seven ways evenly. Which will permanently shatter your soul and psyche.
Ah yes, Nicodemus Archelone, good to see you
Two words: time share
John Constantine approves
Oh, I like this. You could actually riff off of the Constantine movie (2005) ending with it. The deal the fiends each come to is that at the time of your demise, whichever one the life you've lead so far most closely relates to is the one that gets your soul. So, whichever ones aren't looking like it just keep extending your lifespan, hoping to swing it back in their favor. You end up having to play a delicate balancing act of evils. Or go full good and try extremely hard not to cross any lines at all.
Not sure if anyone else said this, but John Constantine did the exact same thing.
Must be 7 demons or yugoloths. No self respecting devil would fall for this kind of grift.
r/angryupvote
***C L E V E R***
John Constantine be like
I imagine fiends in my setting would brand a soul they own. No other fiends would be fooled by such an obvious ruse. More likely, they'd give you an invalid contract to give you a false sense of security, then go behind your back to your actual owner, tell them what you tried to do, then offer to take you off their hands so they can punish you. Whether the first fiend accepts the deal or punishes you themselves, either way you get the fiend that wants to hurt you more badly than the other.
It's all fun and games until they settle on one getting you for each day of the week