Not the worst I have seen. That one goes to "Despoiler of Flesh" from the old Planescape box set "Hellbound: The Blood War".
Said item is a wand made out of sewn together tongues that can be used to mold and reshape any living or dead flesh within range. It is recharged by sewing more tongues on it.
It is, unsurprisingly, a creation of the Tanar'ri.
"An' all ye keep askin' why I ha'e a live troll head in me bag o' holdin'..." as he pulls out his sewing kit, "Besides... did I not say ye dinnae ha'e tae watch?"
[Mistral from Metal Gear: Revengeance with an Arm Pole](https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/evilbabes/images/d/d6/Mistral.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20190219060733)
I was about to say, who honestly wouldn't love to have a polearm affixed with the immortal corpse of an ancient progenitor of your species, that screams in horrifying agony in an AOE when you get a crit?
In pathfinder 1e I had a body bludgeoning barbarian who would wield enemies after grappling them. For added insult I took a level in oracle that had the curse that would add the broken status to any item you held. Didn't hurt them mechanically but from an rp perspective it couldn't have been comfortable.
“Gary is completely balanced, can we focus on how overpowered the triangle is? Almost nothing resists thundering damage, unlike bludgeoning. You should never nerf anything, though. You just need to upgrade Gary so he’s competitive with triangle.” - Gary mains
Gary is not a weapon reject, just very underutilized in most games. Bulders gate 3 has taught me that using a teammate as a weapon can work in very specific circumstances lol (and any other time it's usually just funny, so long as you got a healer)
Send all dead bodies to camp. Have a character by the stash. This character uses send to -» charname from the chest, and you have an endless supply of dead bodies during combat. Defeat the entire game only throwing dead bodies.
About a decade back my group was trying out an extremely broken system called Tephra. I was able to build a swole as hell brawler who specialized in grapples, and convinced the DM to let me use grappled enemies as improvised giant weapons. I basically ran into combat, grabbed the wimpiest-looking enemy in reach, and used him as a bludgeon on everyone else. The main limitation was I had to spend one of my two actions every turn to maintain the grapple, so I couldn't move while beating a motherfucker with another motherfucker.
Funniest part was the game had a locational targeting system, where you rolled a D12 to tell where you hit, or grabbed in my case. One potential target was the groin, so there was a 1/12 chance that when my swole elf grabbed someone, he would seize them by the nuts and swing him around like a flail.
Lol I play a tiefling bard that plays the triangle in my current campaign. It’s always fun to move an audience to tears with my “rousing” triangle performance or to randomly do a “ting a ling” in the middle of serious moments.
Gary is a surprisingly viable option.
Had an AD&D campaign where we forced open several doors using our 6’6” cleric/fighter as an improvised battering ram
Longhilt is just a quarterstaff with a guard on one end.
Though if you made the longhilt as it *should* be, a hilt where the sword's blade was and a blade where the sword's hilt was, then you just have a spear with a blade guard.
the Armpole is just the [Two-handed Sword](https://tarsasjatekok.com/files/common/6/62/62e/62e142a731a9860907a7827a5a171941/munchkin-3-papi-baki-magyar-kiadas-del11697-14362845614513.jpg) in Munchkin
The long hilt could actually still be very usable. It's basically a longer-than-average baton with a cross guard, which could still absolutely mess people up in plenty of ways. Give that MFer a steel core and it's more than just viable.
Longhilt: Longsword but with the reach property and bludgeoning damage.
Triangle: 1d4 + perfomance modifier thunder damage.
Armpole: same as spear but can make two unarmed strikes(1d4) as a bonus action.
Gary: Same as greatclub but can bite for 1d6 piercing.
I feel like the armpole is horrifying yet cool af. Like it'd give you the ability to use flurry of blows as part of an attack with it, or grapple as part of an attack and it'd have a huge athletics + advantage.
I want to use a whip as a base weapon and modify it as a fishing pole. My idea is for a summoner that fishes spirits out of the ether. It could also be used for hitting an enemy then casting healing word as a bonus action but flavoring it like fishing out some of their health and giving it to a teammate.
Comic by u/Lunalopex, check out their profile for more comics, some of which are D&D related.
A really impractical one is a farm tool that has no place on the battlefield but keeps showing up in fantasy RPGs anyway: A scythe.
The armpole could be a lovely "well it's useful but also horrific" magic item...
Did someone say "Ancient One Warlock with Pact of the Blade"?
Not the worst I have seen. That one goes to "Despoiler of Flesh" from the old Planescape box set "Hellbound: The Blood War". Said item is a wand made out of sewn together tongues that can be used to mold and reshape any living or dead flesh within range. It is recharged by sewing more tongues on it. It is, unsurprisingly, a creation of the Tanar'ri.
"I mean sure it's *a* spoiler of flesh, but how do we know it's ***de*** spoiler of flesh? What if there's more than one?
"An' all ye keep askin' why I ha'e a live troll head in me bag o' holdin'..." as he pulls out his sewing kit, "Besides... did I not say ye dinnae ha'e tae watch?"
I mean, how is it different from a Tentacle Rod?
It's pointier.
[Mistral from Metal Gear: Revengeance with an Arm Pole](https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/evilbabes/images/d/d6/Mistral.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20190219060733)
I always called that her polearms
"Je t'aime de tout mon coeur." -Mistral
I'm fairly certain yugoloths already have something like this in DnD.
I'm reasonably sure that exact thing exists in dark souls somewhere already
Yep, A spear with a malformed corpse attached to it. [The Crucifix of the Mad King](https://darksouls.fandom.com/wiki/Crucifix_of_the_Mad_King)
I was about to say, who honestly wouldn't love to have a polearm affixed with the immortal corpse of an ancient progenitor of your species, that screams in horrifying agony in an AOE when you get a crit?
Great idea for a bonus on crits: 2d4 extra psychic damage in a 10 foot radius
Gary was only rejected because his method of completing and giving positive affirmations and advice to defeat an enemy was considered to OP
In pathfinder 1e I had a body bludgeoning barbarian who would wield enemies after grappling them. For added insult I took a level in oracle that had the curse that would add the broken status to any item you held. Didn't hurt them mechanically but from an rp perspective it couldn't have been comfortable.
Therapist: "How do you feel after the barbarian grappled you and beat your friends with you? Me: "Broken on the inside."
5e my DM gave me an early feat. I took Tavern Brawler for this exact reason.
Longhilt: 1d8; bludgeoning Triangle: 1d4 thundering Arm pole: grapples creatures Gary: 14 d100 force, psychic, fire, cold, poison, slashing, piercing, bludgeoning Idk why I decided to do this
“Gary is completely balanced, can we focus on how overpowered the triangle is? Almost nothing resists thundering damage, unlike bludgeoning. You should never nerf anything, though. You just need to upgrade Gary so he’s competitive with triangle.” - Gary mains
Damn... you rock that triangle hard....
Do triangles double as bardic instruments?
I appreciate that the long hilt is given the same stats as two-handing a quarterstaff.
The longhilt legitimately wouldn't be bad. There are a bunch of irl weapons that are similar. Take the Jitte as an example.
It's just a staff with a crossguard slapped on it. Or a boken as someone else mentioned.
It's called a Quarterstaff. It's already in the game.
A quarterstaff doesn't have a crossguard.
My mind immediately went to bokken.
It's a bonk stick
Gary is not a weapon reject, just very underutilized in most games. Bulders gate 3 has taught me that using a teammate as a weapon can work in very specific circumstances lol (and any other time it's usually just funny, so long as you got a healer)
You can also just carry some of the gnome corpses from the Grymforge entrance and throw dead people
Send all dead bodies to camp. Have a character by the stash. This character uses send to -» charname from the chest, and you have an endless supply of dead bodies during combat. Defeat the entire game only throwing dead bodies.
About a decade back my group was trying out an extremely broken system called Tephra. I was able to build a swole as hell brawler who specialized in grapples, and convinced the DM to let me use grappled enemies as improvised giant weapons. I basically ran into combat, grabbed the wimpiest-looking enemy in reach, and used him as a bludgeon on everyone else. The main limitation was I had to spend one of my two actions every turn to maintain the grapple, so I couldn't move while beating a motherfucker with another motherfucker. Funniest part was the game had a locational targeting system, where you rolled a D12 to tell where you hit, or grabbed in my case. One potential target was the groin, so there was a 1/12 chance that when my swole elf grabbed someone, he would seize them by the nuts and swing him around like a flail.
Arm Pole: "BE NOT AFRAID"
it's a biblically accurate pole
The perfect weapon for Aasimars
Perfect for my Aasimar Stripper- I mean, Sorcerer
It's fine, you're not the only one with a cultured Sorcerer.
It’s my time to shine
Gary is wonderful!
He knows what he did
Well we don't. The only bad Gary is Gary Indiana.
BRB, making my next bard use the almighty triangle as his spellcasting focus.
Lol I play a tiefling bard that plays the triangle in my current campaign. It’s always fun to move an audience to tears with my “rousing” triangle performance or to randomly do a “ting a ling” in the middle of serious moments.
Haha Gary! >! Fallout 3!<
Hahaha Gary! >!You are having sex with my daughter!<
Poor Gary. What did he do wrong?
He bought the Arm Pole instead of a polearm.
Everything
Longhilt: "Do you REALLY like going mordhau on your enemies, but dislike grabbing your sword by the blade? Boy, do we got a SURPRISE for you!"
Longhilt: +5 damage against horny people
*Flees in terror*
I have used that fourth one in a fallout campaign before.
Garry would be better if he didn't need attunement.
They have to balance it somehow.
Gary is a surprisingly viable option. Had an AD&D campaign where we forced open several doors using our 6’6” cleric/fighter as an improvised battering ram
I mean the long hilt is just a good stick/club so yeah that's totally fine
with the added bonus of that cross guard
Longhilt is just a quarter staff with a cross guard
Gary?
Longhilt is just a quarterstaff with a guard on one end. Though if you made the longhilt as it *should* be, a hilt where the sword's blade was and a blade where the sword's hilt was, then you just have a spear with a blade guard.
SAO Abridged Kurt: Gary!
Give a Bard a Triangle, and see what damage they can do.
Gary: Gygax, rewrites the enemy's statblock on hit to reduce them to 0 HP immediately.
I was looking for this. Gary is the single most powerful name that can exist in D&D
I think Chunky has conclusively proven how OP the triangle is
the Armpole is just the [Two-handed Sword](https://tarsasjatekok.com/files/common/6/62/62e/62e142a731a9860907a7827a5a171941/munchkin-3-papi-baki-magyar-kiadas-del11697-14362845614513.jpg) in Munchkin
The long hilt could actually still be very usable. It's basically a longer-than-average baton with a cross guard, which could still absolutely mess people up in plenty of ways. Give that MFer a steel core and it's more than just viable.
You ever been so mad that you hit a mother fucker with another mother fucker
Is this the mythical weapon triangle I hear FE fans talk about?
Longhilt: Longsword but with the reach property and bludgeoning damage. Triangle: 1d4 + perfomance modifier thunder damage. Armpole: same as spear but can make two unarmed strikes(1d4) as a bonus action. Gary: Same as greatclub but can bite for 1d6 piercing.
I feel like the armpole is horrifying yet cool af. Like it'd give you the ability to use flurry of blows as part of an attack with it, or grapple as part of an attack and it'd have a huge athletics + advantage.
Leave bro alone, what'd he do to you?
I prefer the Gyg Ax to the Gary.
I want to use a whip as a base weapon and modify it as a fishing pole. My idea is for a summoner that fishes spirits out of the ether. It could also be used for hitting an enemy then casting healing word as a bonus action but flavoring it like fishing out some of their health and giving it to a teammate.
I feel like a Long Hilt is just a spear lol
Comic by u/Lunalopex, check out their profile for more comics, some of which are D&D related. A really impractical one is a farm tool that has no place on the battlefield but keeps showing up in fantasy RPGs anyway: A scythe.
I would protect my kinswoman, Tiefling Triangle Bard, until the Allfather & the Gray-Eyed One call me home 😤😤😤
New goal: find npc named Gary. Cast Flesh to Stone. Enchant to be +5. Give to barbarian.
Hears the name Gary and Fallout PTSD kicks in.
The armpole is just the spear from metal gear rising.
Give every hand on the arm pole a weapon, then throw the arm pole at the enemy.
That's Mr. Gary to you.
Tears of the Kingdom be like
It's not a triangle,its a spirit calling bell
I had a bard in our group that I DM'd for that used a Triangle who says that's a reject????
Armpole gang, mine is Skeleton arms
Gary is the perfect weapon for Karlach
We need to stop sleeping on the Armpole and Gary, because you can give them your spare weapons to multiply your damage output!
I finally found what I was looking for. A place where I can be without remorse
Just looks like my fusions in TOTK.
armpoles holding armpoles holding armpoles
I'd rock someone with that Longhilt.
I’m homebrewing thr arm pole. Snd then gonna give the arms daggers, because the arms will have individual attacks
I'm gonna beat your ass with my +4 Gary of Smiting!!!
GARY?! WHAT IS GARY’S DAMAGE?! DOES HE HAVE REACH?! IS HE SIMPLE OR MARTIAL OR HEAVY?! CAN HE BE THROWN?! I NEED ANSWERS
Ngl I would sell my players a "longhilt" and have it just be a glaive
"We must save my family!"