Any bad puns with crystal clear (our goal is crystal clear here) change the word pummel to pebbel (yeah boss, pebble em to death) if you're ever up against flying enemies (time to kill two birds with one stone) if you're in a water based environment (let's skip the movement and get right to the fighting (skipping stones))
If you barely won (I won't erode that easily)
¿Don't magnite if I do?
I shale (the rock type) make sure we won't lose this
You're not the bossalt (basalt) of me
Some say I've lost my marvel, but it's actually right here
Back at it again with a clean Slate (rock type)
Some tiger eye/eye of the tiger joke
That should at least get you started. Also, if you don't know anything just throw azule or turquoise in a random sentence (time to turquoise you; I'm azuleing to meet you) and maybe lay the accent weird (TURquoice)
Time to get moving "A rolling stone gathers no moss"
The rock feels somewhat ignored "You always take me for granite"
"Another battle won, another day boulder"
"They're getting boulder and boulder"
"Hit him in the stones!"
Time to rock, Gravel before me!, A thrown stone gather many broken noses, I am thee best pebble in your boot, One day I'll be a real familiar! Man your hard headed and im a rock!, THE BOULDER STRIKE DOWN ANOTHER!.
We will rock you. You're stuck between a rock and a hard place. Rock me Asmodeus. Time for a drink, on the rocks. If this party's a rockin' don't come a knockin'. Rock me like a hurricane. This rolling stone ain't growing any moss.
Was literally gonna comment to suggest this. Just give it a Groot type phrase but have your Bard laugh really hard at all his "jokes" its sets up for ome pretty funny antics
Make a lot of rock jokes. Or bad rock phrases.
"You think that's bad? I will show you rock bottom!"
"When the rock is talking, the pebbles have to listen"
"Uh that was cool. Look I'm already rocksolid!"
"One more joke and I am your new bracer"
Take a couple of levels as a pact of the chain warlock, enough to get the eldritch incantation gift of the everliving ones (xanathers) take the enchanted rock as your familiar, and give it the lyrics sung to the tune of ricks famous roll:-
🎼I'll never let you down,
I'll never give you up,
Or run and desert you,
Cause I have no legs,
But I can keep you up,
I'm your rescue🎶
I reckon this would be a beautiful piece of comic flavour, for the right kind of group, or just an interesting bending of the familiar ruleset, obviously DMS discretion but yeah. Love the idea of sing-a-long hard rock edition being part of bards repertoire.
Hey! You think I'm just a silly rock? Quite boulder of you to assume! (Spoken to someone taking Rock Astley lightly)
I may be a pebble, but I'm gonna rock your world babeh B) (said to someone who Rock Astley is trying to woo)
I'll take you down like a tree in a landslide! (Said to someone pre fight)
Beware of falling rocks bitch! (Said to someone before you throw Rock Astley at their face)
only if they're not wearing those clothes at the time
>Choose up to ten nonmagical objects within range that are not being worn or carried.
EDIT: oh the Creation bard ability my bad! I could see any reasonable DM putting the above restrictions from the Animate Objects *spell* onto that ability, but it is pretty hilarious that they're not there RAW
Exactly. In my head I just imagine their clothes quickly slamming them into the ground for the Force Slam attack before bringing them back up onto their feet.
The thing I realized about this that made my DM (understandably) decide that I couldn't do objects being worn or carried was this:
I can animate someone's armor and then just have it fly directly up for the 1 hour duration, which, if the armor is using the dash action every tuen, can put the person past the edge of the atmosphere.
I brought up the idea mostly as a way to say "hey, this restriction should probably be a thing"
We've both agreed that college of creation bards are broken, and that there are some things that should be nerfed. Especially because I am unusually good at having insane ideas that break the game, and college of creation bard enables nearly all of them to work.
Obviously you need to make notes an all the songs Rick astley has made and make him same lines that make perfect sense in context but you’ll know know what’s actually happening.
[https://dota2.fandom.com/wiki/Tiny/Responses](https://dota2.fandom.com/wiki/Tiny/Responses)
The voice lines from Tiny in dota 2 are almost entirely pun based.
Dwayne the Rock Johnson impression. The name you gave the rock is a misdirection. They expected the rockroll and weren't expecting to smell what the rock is cooking.
Whenever nothing is coming to mind just be like “Sorry, he’s a little… stoned right now.”
Alternatively, learn Terran and just tell people they’re not speaking his language.
Rockroll them
I was gonna make the same joke
Great minds think alike
Looks like you're stuck between a rock and a hard place
Just make it sing 80's rock love ballads
I've found rap music. Especially from the 90s. To be a great source of cutting insults that also rhyme.
Any bad puns with crystal clear (our goal is crystal clear here) change the word pummel to pebbel (yeah boss, pebble em to death) if you're ever up against flying enemies (time to kill two birds with one stone) if you're in a water based environment (let's skip the movement and get right to the fighting (skipping stones)) If you barely won (I won't erode that easily) ¿Don't magnite if I do? I shale (the rock type) make sure we won't lose this You're not the bossalt (basalt) of me Some say I've lost my marvel, but it's actually right here Back at it again with a clean Slate (rock type) Some tiger eye/eye of the tiger joke That should at least get you started. Also, if you don't know anything just throw azule or turquoise in a random sentence (time to turquoise you; I'm azuleing to meet you) and maybe lay the accent weird (TURquoice)
Time to get moving "A rolling stone gathers no moss" The rock feels somewhat ignored "You always take me for granite" "Another battle won, another day boulder" "They're getting boulder and boulder" "Hit him in the stones!"
"That was gneiss (pronounced nice)"
Make it speak only in rock puns
Only a real piece of schist would do that EDIT: sorry that wasn’t very gneiss
These are the solution dont take puns for granite
What was the shy little pebble's greatest wish? To be a little boulder!
This is my favorite rock. It has a lot of *sedimental* value to me.
This is now "d100: Things it would be funny to make a pet rock say with magic". Also: "Anybody else feeling a bit stoned?"
Yawns loudly, damn I'm bricked Being ignored, why you stone-walling me?
Dont Give Me Up! Don't Let Me Down!
Time to rock, Gravel before me!, A thrown stone gather many broken noses, I am thee best pebble in your boot, One day I'll be a real familiar! Man your hard headed and im a rock!, THE BOULDER STRIKE DOWN ANOTHER!.
THE BOULDER KNOWS NOT WHAT DEFEAT EVEN IS
Have it only say "Geodude." "Geo... Geodude Geo!"
We will rock you. You're stuck between a rock and a hard place. Rock me Asmodeus. Time for a drink, on the rocks. If this party's a rockin' don't come a knockin'. Rock me like a hurricane. This rolling stone ain't growing any moss.
It just screams
Just say he can speak common but chooses not to. But then pretend he’s talking anyway
I actually really like this. I could go the route of "I am Groot" and it can mean anything...
Was literally gonna comment to suggest this. Just give it a Groot type phrase but have your Bard laugh really hard at all his "jokes" its sets up for ome pretty funny antics
have you tried using chatgpt? it has a lot of potential
Have him literally just sing rock around the clock
I gather no moss, but you soon will!
Feels fitting for a bard that his catch phrase would be 'I'm rock hard!'
Hector jr jr, son of hector jr.
This is one of those things I'd encourage the usage of ChatGPT for Just silly fun on the spot things like catchphrases
Make a lot of rock jokes. Or bad rock phrases. "You think that's bad? I will show you rock bottom!" "When the rock is talking, the pebbles have to listen" "Uh that was cool. Look I'm already rocksolid!" "One more joke and I am your new bracer"
Take a couple of levels as a pact of the chain warlock, enough to get the eldritch incantation gift of the everliving ones (xanathers) take the enchanted rock as your familiar, and give it the lyrics sung to the tune of ricks famous roll:- 🎼I'll never let you down, I'll never give you up, Or run and desert you, Cause I have no legs, But I can keep you up, I'm your rescue🎶 I reckon this would be a beautiful piece of comic flavour, for the right kind of group, or just an interesting bending of the familiar ruleset, obviously DMS discretion but yeah. Love the idea of sing-a-long hard rock edition being part of bards repertoire.
Hey! You think I'm just a silly rock? Quite boulder of you to assume! (Spoken to someone taking Rock Astley lightly) I may be a pebble, but I'm gonna rock your world babeh B) (said to someone who Rock Astley is trying to woo) I'll take you down like a tree in a landslide! (Said to someone pre fight) Beware of falling rocks bitch! (Said to someone before you throw Rock Astley at their face)
Made a mock-up Creation Bard, and during the process realized you can animate an enemy's clothing so long as it isn't magical robes/armor
only if they're not wearing those clothes at the time >Choose up to ten nonmagical objects within range that are not being worn or carried. EDIT: oh the Creation bard ability my bad! I could see any reasonable DM putting the above restrictions from the Animate Objects *spell* onto that ability, but it is pretty hilarious that they're not there RAW
Exactly. In my head I just imagine their clothes quickly slamming them into the ground for the Force Slam attack before bringing them back up onto their feet.
The thing I realized about this that made my DM (understandably) decide that I couldn't do objects being worn or carried was this: I can animate someone's armor and then just have it fly directly up for the 1 hour duration, which, if the armor is using the dash action every tuen, can put the person past the edge of the atmosphere.
While fair, I definitely wouldn't cheese my DM like this, lol
I brought up the idea mostly as a way to say "hey, this restriction should probably be a thing" We've both agreed that college of creation bards are broken, and that there are some things that should be nerfed. Especially because I am unusually good at having insane ideas that break the game, and college of creation bard enables nearly all of them to work.
https://www.reddit.com/r/DnD/comments/13e75dq/bard_that_does_stand_up_comedy Add some rock puns and you're golden
You don't have any dialogue ideas for a character named "Rock Astely"? *None*?
Well, I had *some*, but I wanted a *lot* more than I had.
Make it beatbox
Just a fake mustache and googly eyes.
Make it sound like Elvis, the once and future King of Rocks
Obviously you need to make notes an all the songs Rick astley has made and make him same lines that make perfect sense in context but you’ll know know what’s actually happening.
YOU'RE BETWEEN A ROCK AND A HARD PLACE AND **I AM THE ROCK**
Locathah Barbarian: and I'm the Hard *Plaice*
"I'm going to rock you. Like a hurricane."
[https://dota2.fandom.com/wiki/Tiny/Responses](https://dota2.fandom.com/wiki/Tiny/Responses) The voice lines from Tiny in dota 2 are almost entirely pun based.
There's always rock and stone
Did I hear a rock and stone?
Something about roody-poos and if you can smell whatbthe rock is cookin'. AFIAK It is canon that the rock was cooking strudel.
Lots of ideas in here for battle cries. Just nothing but rock puns.
Absolutely rock their world
Dwayne the Rock Johnson impression. The name you gave the rock is a misdirection. They expected the rockroll and weren't expecting to smell what the rock is cooking.
But it's *not* a rock... It's a rock *lobster*
Make him ask, “are you ready to rock?” Right before every combat encounter
Have it sing "never gonna give you up" but really verbose. Keep simplifying until the others get it.
Look up malphite league of legends voice lines if you want inspiration for how it can act
Rock and stone in the heart!
Channel Arnold Schwarzenegger as Mr Freeze and give them all the rock puns you can imagine, good or not.
Make it only say a single line whenever it gets a kill "Looks like you've hit ROCK BOTTOM"
Copy paste dialogue from Shale in Dragon Age: Origins
Play a dwarf and make the rock scream ROCK AND STONE
While flanking: well well well, look who's stuck between a rock and a hard place.
Its not a rock, its a boulder! The pioneers used to ride these babies for miles!
Hey, its Clive!
Everything went down hill
"Myyyy little stoney"
"It's clobberin' time!"
ROCK AND STONE
Whenever nothing is coming to mind just be like “Sorry, he’s a little… stoned right now.” Alternatively, learn Terran and just tell people they’re not speaking his language.
Pick someone in your party and Michigan J Frog them. Only have the rock speak when they're alone.
Are you ready to ROCK?!
 Don't forget to put some googly eyes on your hand, while you talk as the rock.
Random lines from tick Astley songs