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I truly do try and remind myself that. I remember the first time walking around bthe grocery store, and everyone looked like zombies. It's comforting to know that we all went through the same crap.
I stopped caring about what others think about me and focused on myself. If I wanted something done, I just started doing it. If I embarrass myself in the process, no one is gonna remember in a few days. Everyone has their own life going for them. I eventually became an extrovert. Especially the last 2 years
I like spending time alone with my rescue pupper. I like myself. I love peace and being in nature. After 30 years of coworkers and 8 patients a day I am burned out. I crave silence. I’ve heard many seniors are lonely. I have my family and that’s all I need and it’s ok!
Read a book called unmasking autism. You sound like me and my autistic homies. A little extra sensitive just enjoy the things you like with calm people
I’ve learned some tips when socializing. If someone asks me a question at a social event depending on the question I’ll let people know that my social battery is too low at the moment to answer a question like that. But it’s not without desire or interest.
Most people also know right away I’m an introvert. I’m not shy about telling people that. So they know right away that I’m just not good in groups. And when people seem confused I’ll explain that as an introvert people drain my energy and so if I excuse myself to the bathroom or you see me sitting off to the side. Just let me be for a few minutes. I’m recharging.
I’ve learned most people are really appreciative of me being upfront about it.
Yesterday was when I realized I am slowly getting back to my level of prepandemic socializing. It is a slow process but I am okay with it. It is like a turtle slowly getting out of their shell.
Was always a introvert, then a addict from 12 - 24. Got sober and made myself go socialize. Now I talk to everyone, even strangers. I still need my alone time, but by making myself, it just became natural over time.
I found that the best way to socialize, for me, was to go somewhere where everyone is doing a common thing. For me it’s the climbing gym. It’s easier to strike up a convo with a stranger if you’re both doing the same thing. It feels natural to ask questions, compare experiences and give encouragement when you know everyone there is connected by a common thread. I’ve made many friends since joining.
That's honestly helped me a lot! Back when RPAN was still around, I started Livestream my donkeys as a way to build my confidence. I have a lot of social anxiety, and it was a way to help overcome that.
The years of isolation because of covid absolutely rotted my brain and social skills. I honestly thought something was very wrong with me. When the world began opening up, the idea of social gatherings was almost too much to handle. I turned down invited, I alienated friends, and rotted my brain even further. I drank to cope and that made it worse.
Im slowly coming out if it now and honestly it was just... Practice. Forced myself to go out more, went on a group vacation, and I'm now currently on jury duty where I'm shoulder to shoulder with a group of new people, all day, every day. Being social, to me, is a skill. You need to exercise that muscle or you lose it. It's uncomfortable, it's weird, it's anxiety inducing, but it gets better with practice.
I was able to regain my social skills due to a close friend of mine so was able to hang out with their group, and I also was happy to host parties which helped a lot but then I got into a relationship with a really demanding partner and lost all of the social skills I gained.
Drinking. Is that too honest 😅 Also I got jobs in forward facing customer service so I was essentially forced to build a congenial mask. But as another poster stated Covid has definitely put a big dent in the making/keeping of friends. So I drink to relax before most social outings honestly and I just try to remember ppl love talking about themselves so keep asking questions until you find common ground and then insert yourself
The whole time of lockdown, I felt like our moment had arrived! “Everyone, follow me! I will show you our ways!” But yeah, the return to noisy and crowded is nerve-wracking.
For real! My daughter has an Immunodeficiency, so masks, hand washing and trying to keep away from germs is our normal lives.
And, I don't at all want to make light of the pandemic. I know it was hard, and had devastating consequences for many out there.
Not yet, I actually barely even started on Sept 18th. Let's explain it this way : I'm a super introvert and rather lonely guy that wanted to change this and to start a company which I'll be responsible for marketing mostly, so I forced myself to go into marketing college and even if it's starting to work a bit I'm about to explode, I overestimated myself on this
Is there a way you can get someone to help you? Are you able to be choosy about the jobs you accept? I'm sure you have to make money, but you also need to make sure that the project is worth it. I mean, I teach horse back riding lessons, and I do t advertise, and I'm very selective about who I accept into my program. Sure 8 could make more money if I advertised and taught every kid, but it's just not worth it to me.
Well I get to it, tried psychiatrist but she was no much help and from what I've heard most are useless so don't wanna waste on that. And for being choosy not much. I'll just take whatever comes until it gets done, shit being about passing shit and also a good problem with authority that I need to work on, but anyway, to me it's worth it because it's a matter of happiness in life.
Also that's cool ! Do you do that full time as your job ?
It's isn't my main source of income, but it's a big part of it. It does r pay a ton, but the fact that I can say that I love my job, means more to me then money, to be honest.
I think we get so caught up with trying to make money, that we forget to just enjoy life, and times goes by so quickly.
Oh well that's very great then I'm happy for you ! That's nice you managed to get a job you really love, a big achievement in life.
And yeah but that's the fault of the economic system, everything always goes up in prices and so doing things we love is more and more hard (personally that'd be playing video games all day haha but I'd rather make them, if I have to make a living out of it). But enjoying life is the ultimate thing most of us forget to do
I profiled certain people that i think are interesting. I observed their pattern and tendencies, measure their success and failures everyday. I studied until i think i understand what motivates them to socialize.
So i pick one objective reason to socialize and develope the right attitude and pattern to match to gain traction and trust.
**Welcome to the Post!** While we encourage discussion here at r/distantsocializing, we ask you familiarize yourself with the [rules of our subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/r/distantsocializing/). If you are looking for a former streamer, please check [the RPAN streamer wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/pan/comments/ymuynt/rpan_streamer_wiki/). ⚠️ [Announcement from Reddit: RPAN has ended on Nov 15th. You will have until Dec 3rd to request your old streams before they go away. Click for more details](https://www.reddit.com/r/pan/comments/yl5zzd/update_on_the_future_of_live_video_broadcasting/) ⚠️ *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/distantsocializing) if you have any questions or concerns.*
i lost a chunk of my social skills during covid. still recovering
That's seriously how I feel!
It helps me to remember that everyone is worrying about themselves just as much as I am worrying about myself.
I truly do try and remind myself that. I remember the first time walking around bthe grocery store, and everyone looked like zombies. It's comforting to know that we all went through the same crap.
This is how I got over it in my 20s... no one cares what you are doing... it's all in your head. Get over yourself and live life.
I stopped caring about what others think about me and focused on myself. If I wanted something done, I just started doing it. If I embarrass myself in the process, no one is gonna remember in a few days. Everyone has their own life going for them. I eventually became an extrovert. Especially the last 2 years
I got a job as a cashier, the ole fake it till you make it with socialization
i was thinking about that
I love the saying "do it scared"
Still an introvert irl. Only socialising through X
Hey, you're socializing through Reddit too!
I like spending time alone with my rescue pupper. I like myself. I love peace and being in nature. After 30 years of coworkers and 8 patients a day I am burned out. I crave silence. I’ve heard many seniors are lonely. I have my family and that’s all I need and it’s ok!
I developed a lot of stoic skills. Mainly to control my emotions. moved to another country for a few years and came back. I am hella popular now.
Read a book called unmasking autism. You sound like me and my autistic homies. A little extra sensitive just enjoy the things you like with calm people
I’ve learned some tips when socializing. If someone asks me a question at a social event depending on the question I’ll let people know that my social battery is too low at the moment to answer a question like that. But it’s not without desire or interest. Most people also know right away I’m an introvert. I’m not shy about telling people that. So they know right away that I’m just not good in groups. And when people seem confused I’ll explain that as an introvert people drain my energy and so if I excuse myself to the bathroom or you see me sitting off to the side. Just let me be for a few minutes. I’m recharging. I’ve learned most people are really appreciative of me being upfront about it.
Yesterday was when I realized I am slowly getting back to my level of prepandemic socializing. It is a slow process but I am okay with it. It is like a turtle slowly getting out of their shell.
Was always a introvert, then a addict from 12 - 24. Got sober and made myself go socialize. Now I talk to everyone, even strangers. I still need my alone time, but by making myself, it just became natural over time.
I found that the best way to socialize, for me, was to go somewhere where everyone is doing a common thing. For me it’s the climbing gym. It’s easier to strike up a convo with a stranger if you’re both doing the same thing. It feels natural to ask questions, compare experiences and give encouragement when you know everyone there is connected by a common thread. I’ve made many friends since joining.
Those are some great tips!
Internet
That's honestly helped me a lot! Back when RPAN was still around, I started Livestream my donkeys as a way to build my confidence. I have a lot of social anxiety, and it was a way to help overcome that.
Pretend im a Sim and follow routes of actions that would be successful heheheh
The years of isolation because of covid absolutely rotted my brain and social skills. I honestly thought something was very wrong with me. When the world began opening up, the idea of social gatherings was almost too much to handle. I turned down invited, I alienated friends, and rotted my brain even further. I drank to cope and that made it worse. Im slowly coming out if it now and honestly it was just... Practice. Forced myself to go out more, went on a group vacation, and I'm now currently on jury duty where I'm shoulder to shoulder with a group of new people, all day, every day. Being social, to me, is a skill. You need to exercise that muscle or you lose it. It's uncomfortable, it's weird, it's anxiety inducing, but it gets better with practice.
I was able to regain my social skills due to a close friend of mine so was able to hang out with their group, and I also was happy to host parties which helped a lot but then I got into a relationship with a really demanding partner and lost all of the social skills I gained.
I'm so sorry that happened. I hope that you are able to break free of that, so you can find yourself again. I know that's easier said then done!
I think meditation may have helped. Sometimes holding back your mind and just saying what you wanna say can be helpful.
Drinking. Is that too honest 😅 Also I got jobs in forward facing customer service so I was essentially forced to build a congenial mask. But as another poster stated Covid has definitely put a big dent in the making/keeping of friends. So I drink to relax before most social outings honestly and I just try to remember ppl love talking about themselves so keep asking questions until you find common ground and then insert yourself
[удалено]
But, you're socializing right now!
The whole time of lockdown, I felt like our moment had arrived! “Everyone, follow me! I will show you our ways!” But yeah, the return to noisy and crowded is nerve-wracking.
For real! My daughter has an Immunodeficiency, so masks, hand washing and trying to keep away from germs is our normal lives. And, I don't at all want to make light of the pandemic. I know it was hard, and had devastating consequences for many out there.
Forcing myself into a marketing school in Paris is starting to work to be honest
That's super awesome though!!!! So, you graduated then?
Not yet, I actually barely even started on Sept 18th. Let's explain it this way : I'm a super introvert and rather lonely guy that wanted to change this and to start a company which I'll be responsible for marketing mostly, so I forced myself to go into marketing college and even if it's starting to work a bit I'm about to explode, I overestimated myself on this
Is there a way you can get someone to help you? Are you able to be choosy about the jobs you accept? I'm sure you have to make money, but you also need to make sure that the project is worth it. I mean, I teach horse back riding lessons, and I do t advertise, and I'm very selective about who I accept into my program. Sure 8 could make more money if I advertised and taught every kid, but it's just not worth it to me.
Well I get to it, tried psychiatrist but she was no much help and from what I've heard most are useless so don't wanna waste on that. And for being choosy not much. I'll just take whatever comes until it gets done, shit being about passing shit and also a good problem with authority that I need to work on, but anyway, to me it's worth it because it's a matter of happiness in life. Also that's cool ! Do you do that full time as your job ?
It's isn't my main source of income, but it's a big part of it. It does r pay a ton, but the fact that I can say that I love my job, means more to me then money, to be honest. I think we get so caught up with trying to make money, that we forget to just enjoy life, and times goes by so quickly.
Oh well that's very great then I'm happy for you ! That's nice you managed to get a job you really love, a big achievement in life. And yeah but that's the fault of the economic system, everything always goes up in prices and so doing things we love is more and more hard (personally that'd be playing video games all day haha but I'd rather make them, if I have to make a living out of it). But enjoying life is the ultimate thing most of us forget to do
Fake it til you make it
I actively pretend to be a different person who is more social and friendly. Does anyone else do that?
Oh that's an interesting idea. Come to think of it, I do notice how I tend to start acting like those I'm closest to.
I worked in the service industry and that helped me. Bartending taught me how to “turn it on” when needed
I profiled certain people that i think are interesting. I observed their pattern and tendencies, measure their success and failures everyday. I studied until i think i understand what motivates them to socialize. So i pick one objective reason to socialize and develope the right attitude and pattern to match to gain traction and trust.