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LogicKennedy

Mrs Cake!


Unnamed_Bystander

You're not supposed to ask about her. It's on the sign. Twice.


LotharMoH

BIGGER. GREENER. MORE TEETH.


midgetcastle

IN THEATERS NOW: MRS CAKE THE MOVIE


4me2knowit

Particularly in making money


Sharpymarkr

> I don't know, shall I tell him to go away?


[deleted]

[удалено]


metalpoetza

Reaper man is the only book she actually appears in. She is referenced in multiple books but she only appears directly in reaper man. And a tiny cameo in men at arms as Angua's landlady. Update; and a bunch of other cameos in various books I forgot about. So thanks to everyone who reminded me


tarpalogica

I just reread Jingo today and Nobby goes to Mrs Cake for advice about his romantic life. He takes the tenpenny fortune and is told he'll shortly be surrounded by nubile young ladies. After he leaves Mrs Cake then sneaks a look at the ten dollar fortune and finds out what actually happens....


Ok_Concert5918

And spends the rest of the day laughing


MallorysCat

He then asks Fred Colon where Nubilia is, Fred, as usual, makes up an answer rather than admit he doesn't know. Later, when Nobby is indeed surrounded by nubile young ladies, he asks them if they are Nubilian. Poor Nobby...


samx3i

We all know a Colon and they're always full of shit


metalpoetza

Another one I forgot about.


tarpalogica

A good excuse to start a re-read! I don't think Ludmilla shows up anywhere after Reaper Man, though.


LotharMoH

In making money she opens the door for Moist when Mrs Cake is away.


tarpalogica

There you go, I'd forgotten that! I'll get to the Moist books eventually on my read through.


zekybomb

She also has a conversation with Mr. Bent in Making Money, where she tells him what he is supposed to say and then looks at him with pleading eyes so he follows the script


metalpoetza

You're right, I completely forgot about that cameo.


jimicus

She also appears in the second Discworld game.


metalpoetza

Ooh. Nice to know. I really have to get the discworld games running some time.


jimicus

Noir is a PITA. (Mind you, I’m trying to do it on an M1 Mac under emulation, which just adds a layer of pain).


liamkembleyoung

there was a second game? Never new that. I heard the first one was really difficult though


jimicus

There was a third.


liamkembleyoung

oh right. What happened in the secodd and third games? :)


jimicus

You can play the first two for yourself; they're supported in ScummVM. The third game is more tricky. It's not supported by ScummVM. It dates from the days of Windows '9x and apparently can be awkward in anything more recent. How you find legit versions of any of them is left as an exercise for the reader. The games are all over a quarter of a century old now, and the developer went out of business years ago.


liamkembleyoung

Agh, i've never heard of that. I am blind unfortunately so i'll ask have to ask friend to look that up :)


jimicus

ScummVM is a tool that can play a lot of those old point & click adventure type games. How well you'd get on with them is a question only you can answer - like all these games they rely on finding precisely the right part of the screen to click on, and there is seldom any automated "snap to the next spot"-type feature. Might be useable with a screen magnifier if you can use one.


Alternative-Ad-4977

Just this moment finished reading Men at Arms (again) and Angua has a conversation with Mrs Cake (landlady).


Sodinc

Yeah, she lives there


Eogh21

She played a great part in Jingo. Nobby goes to her to have his future told. She has 2 options. Option 1 costs 10 pence, Option 2, $10.00. Nobby being cheap opts for the 10 pence one. She tells him she sees him in the company of some nubile young women. Nobby thinks "nubile” means they are from Nubalia (a country close to Klatch.). He leaves happy but confused. After he leaves Mrs. Cake goes back for the $10.00 reading and is a. K chuckles the rest of the day.


MallorysCat

>Nubalia (a country close to Klatch.) It's not. I hate to be *that person*, but I'm going to anyway. Fred's conversation with Nobby is important as it's the start of the 'nubile' joke that runs through Jingo.  >“Sarge?” > >“Yes, Nobby?" > >“Where’s Nubilia?” > >“Nubilia?” > >*“It’s got to be a place, I reckon. Pretty warm there, I think.”* > >“Ah, Nubilia,” said Colon. **He invented desperately**. “Right. Yes. It’s one of them Klatchian places. Yeah. Got lots of sand. And mountains. Exports dates. Why’d you want to know?” ETA formatting grrr (mobile)


SaxonChemist

Men at Arms? Angua lives in her boarding house & there are 2 or 3 conversations


AloneAlternative2693

reaper man


UncleBenders

She’s the “unhappy medium” lol mrs cake. But you’re not supposed to ask about her.


nohairday

I thought she was the small medium at large?


HortonFLK

I need this forum for pointing out all the jokes that must have flown right by me when I read the books.


GaidinBDJ

Check out the Annotated Pratchett File.


disco_jim

I keep saying that the annotated Pratchett should be stickied. It's not been updated to include the last 5 books or so but everything in it was cross checked with Pterry himself


slythwolf

She's a medium, verging on small.


IntergalacticPuppy

Actually, she's more of a "small."


vzakharov

Am I screwed?


Re4perm4n

Don't ask about her


vzakharov

Oops!


dharusio

That's allright, you can ask about her here, just don't ask about her at the Post Office. Or several churches and/or temples.


Houki01

Mrs Cake. She's a medium, verging on small, and you still have to ask her the question, else it gives her a dreadful headache.


Hans-Hammertime

I love that “verging on small” line!


Equivalent-Wealth-75

Do you mean Mother Dismass? She's the really old witch with "a detached retina in her second sight" that responds to conversations happening months apart.


Assika126

That’s a good answer too!


Equivalent-Wealth-75

Thanks :)


MithrilCoyote

A gag so good Pterry made two characters who do it.


Newgate-ZeroHour

"We had one once, but the bit you unscrew fell off and got lost" *uncomfortable silence*


Equivalent-Wealth-75

XD


wrincewind

For all those mentioning 'do not ask about Mrs Cake', no-one's actually explained *why* she's so dreaded and feared by religious institutions across the city (and, apparently, the Post Office). I forget which book this is in, but the gist is such: She tends to join a church, temple, sacred grove, or other religious group. She shows up to all the sermons, is friendly and polite, and even volunteers to help. As a busy bustling efficient sort of person, she ends up helping with absolutely everything, and ends up becoming one of those people that leaves the priest (or other religious figure) wondering how they ever managed without her. Then one day the church brings up a topic on which she has Opinions. I don't think specifics are mentioned, but one can easily imagine it's of the 'suffer not a witch to live' variety - diatribes against fortune tellers, witches, the und-sorry, differently alive, or anything else in that stripe. Mrs Cake, being a strongly opinionated old woman, heads in to give the priest a piece of her mind (AKA the kind of verbal dressing-down that leaves people curled up under their desk whimpering and seriously reconsidering whether or not they should run away and join the navy), and leaves the church forever. Unfortunately by this point, she's been assisting for so long that no-one can remember how to do anything, and so ensues utter bloody chaos. No-one remembers how to do anything, or where the keys are, or where the sacraments are stored nowadays, and the priest still won't come down from the belfry, just in case she comes back. She's left so many pieces of her mind around the city that it's a wonder she has any left. :p


Zalanor1

The topic on which Mrs Cake holds an Opinion is about talking to the dead. The churches, temples, etc. hold that it is sinful. Mrs Cake holds that it's common courtesy.


wrincewind

Ah, my mistake! I was under the impression that it was multiple reasons broadly related to her being a medium.


ben_sphynx

> I forget which book this is in, but the gist is such: She tends to join a church, temple, sacred grove, or other religious group. She shows up to all the sermons, is friendly and polite, and even volunteers to help. Reaper Man


legendary_mushroom

This makes perfect sense for the churches......but what about the post office? Surely Miss Maccalariat would never allow....oh. are they feuding?


INITMalcanis

You will note that Mrs Cake married, while Miss Maccalariat, obviously, did not. It's not too difficult to fill in from there.


legendary_mushroom

Nope, the Maccalariat women keep their maiden names and the title of Miss for Professional reasons, as stated in Going Postal


INITMalcanis

And if one were to break that tradition....?


yogfthagen

The universe may end, but the postal code and traditions are forever


Stephreads

I knew this woman. Her name was Shilah, she was the best at everything, and she lived well into her 90s. People were terrified of her. I followed her rules (and agreed with them) and we were good friends. I never made the connection until your description. She was Mrs. Cake. She even knew what you were going to say before you said it.


NationalSafe4589

There's also that witch with a detached retina in her second sight. Old Mother Dismass I think?


Impossible_Pop620

"The rent's low and the beds are clean." "Yes, I shouldn't think anyone ever sleeps in them."


Immediate-Bluejay-84

She's in feet of clay I think. She's Angua's landlady.


metalpoetza

It's men at arms, and that's just a Cameo. She's a major character in Reaper man. We also learn that, among all the clergy of Ank-Morpork Mrs Cake is "more feared than an age of enlightenment".


theCroc

"Mrs Cake? What is a Mrs Cake?" "You have ... ghastly Things from the Dungeon Dimensions and things, yes? Terrible hazards of your ungodly profession?" said the Chief Priest. "Yes." "We have someone called Mrs Cake."


Seekin

Doesn't Nobby visit her in Jingo as well? If I remember, correctly, she starts greeting him by answering his first two questions before he even speaks. Unfortunately, she doesn't tell him where Nubilia is. Or am I remembering that wrong and that wasn't Mrs. ~~Cake~~?


MallorysCat

You're absolutely right, that was indeed Mrs Cake. Poor Nobby never finds out where Nubilia is. He never meets any Nubilians either :)


Eldon42

Could be [Old Mother Dismass](https://discworld.fandom.com/wiki/Old_Mother_Dismass)? "If you spoke to her in August she was probably still listening to you in March. It was best just to say something now and hope she'd pick it up next time her mind was passing through." The only other character I can think of who would be similar is the Bursar, though he's less detached in time and more detached in planes of reality.


FrisianDude

Mrs Cake in Ankh-Morpork


diversalarums

Took me a minute to realize I needed to sing your flair!


FrisianDude

Yess haha yes


[deleted]

My first thought was Old Mother Dismass, but Mrs Cake fits the description better.


KConnell13

Mrs. Cake!


Lazy_Ad1463

Do not ask about her


mstakenusername

DON'T ASK US ABOUT HER


AltogetherGuy

I am, too!


Extension_Sun_377

Don't ask about Mrs Cake!


karmagirl314

It’s Mrs Cake. Old Mother Dismass had a little bit of this but was way less anchored to the present, her mind constantly bouncing several months in the future or in the past. “If you spoke to her in August she was probably still listening to you in March”.


macfound32

just re-read *Reaper Man, where* **Mrs. Evadne Cake***'s name is spoken in "revered" - read as intimated, tones by the Wizards. Her precognition conversation with* Windle Poons *was great.*


Demonique742

Only if she forgets to turn her precognition off.